Volume XLIII - Issue 11 by Saint Louis Priory School

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THE RECORD WEEKLY Volume XLIII Issue 11

The Record Staff

News

Cheating Policy By Peter Cogan ‘13

Editor in Chief: Peter J. Cogan Layout Editor: Jack M. Mueller Guest Editor: Luke McGartland Content Editor: Patrick C.Lindmark Editor at Large: Thomas S. Burton Faculty Moderator: Chris W. Bailes

The Record Disclaimer The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by students/staff members. Its purpose is threefold: to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members of the Priory community, including students, faculty, and alumni. The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

n the past couple of years the cheating policy at Priory has been altered multiple times. It has evolved from the one-strike policy to the two-strike policy, although in recent discipline several people have been granted mercy despite it being their second offense. It seems to me that the cheating policy has become more of a case-bycase evaluation where, depending on previous offenses and severity of the incident, people can be given specific punishments. I would like to make the argument that we need more of a concrete policy on how to deal with serious violations of the honor code such as cheating. I understand that by having each situation handled independently Teacher Workshop No Classes

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there is the opportunity to take into account a student’s specific situation, however I believe that there needs to be uniformity in the policy. There are different severities of violations that can occur. There is a clear difference between copying math homework on Monday morning at 7:58 and sneaking notes into a test or exam. However, the case-by-case policy creates a large gray area. How many times can you copy someone’s homework before expulsion? The same problem, however, arises with the two-strike policy. Is copying homework really severe enough to count as one strike? To eliminate this gray area, I feel as though it would be wise to implement a

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point system, similar to the one used with drivers’ licenses. Each student would be allotted a certain number of points throughout his high school career, say three. Once they lose all of their points the punishment is expulsion. This way, each separate offense will have a corresponding point value and a student will have that many points reduced from their total by committing that violation. For instance, copying homework would be a 1-point or ½-point offense, whereas a more serious offense such as cheating on a test would entail a 1 ½- point or 2-point penalty. However, this does raise the issue of impunity within the student body. They may think that

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News

because they still have all 3 points remaining that they can cheat on homework while only risking about a 1-point penalty. While this is true, the policy can also associate penalties with certain point-losses. For instance, once a student’s point score is reduced from 3 to 2, there would be a penalty linked to that such as 3 Saturday work labors and a one-day suspension. Once the score is lowered to 1 point, the penalty would be more severe such as Saturday work labors for the remainder of the term and a weeklong suspension. By implementing these penalties as well, it would still entail a great risk for students to cheat, although they

may know that they won’t be expelled. This goal could also be achieved by having the most serious offenses be worth three points, which would be immediate expulsion. The other issue that this system doesn’t address is the form of the offender. In recent years, there have been multiple issues where members of the senior class violated the cheating policy and could have been expelled; yet they were not. This is somewhat of an unwritten rule, one that I have come to agree with. The seniors have gone through Priory for the better part of six years and it would be somewhat cruel to expel them on one offense, one rash decision. So, in

my proposed system, I believe that it would be fair to give an extra ½ point upon entering into their senior year in good standing (not those entering with already several violations), so that they would not be wiped out with a single offense. However, serious disciplinary action could still be taken against them. I think that this point system would give much more order to a cheating policy that has been all over throughout the last few years, and would give a much needed structure to mirror the high academic standard and integrity at Priory.

Oklahoma Hits the Stage Sooner By Matt Travers ‘16

s you all know, this year’s winter musical is Rogers’ and Hammerstein’s Oklahoma! As their first musical production, Oklahoma! marked a new era of entertainment. Based on the Lynn Riggs’ 1931 play Green Grow the Lilacs, Oklahoma! brought a new element to theater with its unconventional style and fluid transitions to song. The story begins with the conflict between the ropewranglin’ cowboy Curly (Graham Trout ‘13) and the dark and brooding Jud Fry (Ed Houser ‘13), the hired hand, over who will take Laurey Williams (Madeline Mauzy ‘14) to the town’s annual get-together, the Box Social. Luke McGartland

has raved over Graham Trout’s portrayal of Curly McLain and Ed Houser’s performance of “Lonely Room.” He said, “Graham Trout is the best Curly since Hugh Jackman!” and, “Ed’s Lonely Room gives a huge insight into a psychopath’s twisted motivations.” Pandemonium ensues throughout the show as Laurey decides to go to the Box Social with Jud; also, the persistent and somewhat gullible Will Parker attempts to secure a marriage with his lady friend Ado Annie (Claire Lord ‘15), who is torn between him and the Persian peddler, Ali Hakim (Mitch Van Bree ‘13), who is known for getting into trouble with Aunt Eller (Kelly Powderly ‘13).

Photo|John Fonseca. Everette Zornes ‘14 playes William Parker; on stage with costar Claire Lord ‘15. Managed by Mrs. Raley, Br. Sixtus, Mr. Marting, Mr. Nickolai ‘03, and Mrs. Schaefer, the cast and crew have worked very diligently. The performances, set pieces, lighting, costumes, and overall design of the play are top notch and a spectacle to the eyes. The production will open on

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Thursday, February 14th and run through Sunday, the 16th. Each night, the show starts at 7:30 p.m. Tickets will go on sale Friday, February 2nd, and can be purchased at the front desk during Xperiods or after school. Tickets are $10 each. General admission tickets will be available at the door.

News

MARCH FOR LIFE 2013 By Fr. Ralph Wright OSB

40th Anniversary of Roe v Wade

here were 13 of us in all — eleven students and Br Athanasius and yours truly acting as chaperones. Senior: John Fonseca; Juniors: Aidan Johnston, Cole Wagner, Quinn Buck and Fritz Baumgartner; Sophomores: Bobbie Ondr and Andy Swyers; and Freshmen: Paul Fonseca; David Holmes, Cartan Sumner and Chris White. We left Priory at 9.00 am on Thursday 24 January arrived in Baltimore/Washington DC at about 2.30. By 3.15 we were meeting Br Aidan and a seminarian friend of his from Boston at the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. Brother Ignacio of St Anselm’s Abbey. had met us at the airport and was to be a wonderful guide and driver over the next few days. At the mass, that started at 6.30 ,324 priests, 41 bishops and 6 cardinals were concelebrating. The congregation was estimated to be some 13,000 people. Cardinal Sean O’Malley ,the archbishop of Boston, as the new head of the Bishops’ committee for Respect Life Issues, was the chief celebrant and the homilist. The Gospel was that of the Visita-

tion. He told how John the Baptist in Elizabeth’s womb dances in the presence of the child in Mary’s womb as David danced before the Arc of the Covenant. Mary’s saying ‘yes’ at the Annunciation was “a yes to God, a yes to life, a yes to love and a yes even to the Cross.” “The Gospel of Life is an imperative to Christ’s disciples: it was in the first centuries of Christianity, it still is in our Culture of Death today.” He went on to describe how we had been wandering in the desert for 40 years since Roe v Wade but that now with the personhood

of the unborn child becoming more and more manifest through technology we are nearing the Promised Land. Young people in ever growing numbers are pro-life. In the ‘Promised Land’ abortion will be neither legal nor necessary. After the mass Brother Ignacio drove us to St Anselm’s Abbey where we settled in and had a pizza before retiring. The next day would be the LONGEST DAY. Up at 5.00 a.m.; matins 5.20; bus to Metro 6.15; Metro to Judiciary Square; walk to Holy Rosary church ; 7.00 a.m. mass with Bishop Edward Rice; walk to Union Station for quick breakfast; to Hart building 9th floor for meeting with Senator Matt Blount and Congress members including Ann Wagner. Down to Rally; listened to various leaders many people spoke about Nellie Grey, central figure in the March for Life from earliest days who died in 2012.A young adult spoke to the rally on behalf of the many thousands of young people present. He said: “We are the generation who have seen our brothers and sisters via ultrasound in our mother’s womb and we want no part in killing them ! Greeted with huge applause. The March

itself followed about a couple of miles up to the Supreme Court. Priory shared the duty of carrying the MISSOURI CITIZENS FOR LIFE banner. It was cold (22F) and snowy. We said our prayers at the Supreme Court and listened to testimonies from the Silent No More group of women who were testifying about how they had come to have an abortion and why they now regretted it. Later we met with a group of students from Milwaukee amongst whose leaders was an alumnus, Andrew Infanger. We enjoyed a pizza with them and Brother Athanasius and I got to share some thoughts about our calling to be Benedictine monks. Back to St Anselm’s and exhausted to bed. Saturday— touring during the day with Br John McCusker and Brother Ignacio and Brother Athanasius leading the groups. That night Chinese meal. Sunday, Matins, Mass, Airport, and Home by 3.30 p.m. Exhausted but exhilarated and energized. So much to think about, pray about and eventually do something about. So much to mull over and gradually download. We are grateful to all who made the trip possible and for the prayers back at Priory that were sustaining us.

Basketball Game tonight versus MICDS @Villa 8:30pm

Tech

The New Black Berry By Andrew Cammon ‘14

esearch in Motion, now officially BlackBerry, made its door-die stand Wednesday. BlackBerry 10, the company’s new operating system, will decide the fate of the company. There is no backup plan, if BlackBerry 10 is not successful, it is the end of the road for the company that once held 20 percent of the global smartphone market. At the simultaneous launch event in six countries, Research in Motion officially changed its name to BlackBerry and introduced their new operating system and two new phones. The company tried to stay loyal to its existing customer base while at the same time updating its hardware and software for the modern market. It seems to have succeeded. BlackBerry 10 may look like a huge departure from the BlackBerry operating systems of old, but it does in fact preserve

many of the elements that diehard BlackBerry fans know and love. BlackBerry 10 is entirely gesture based. There are no home or back buttons on the phone; every operation has its own gesture. This preserves one thumb operation. One of the things that people loved about their BlackBerrys was that they could operate the phone with one thumb using the trackball. With the new operating system being gesture driven, one can still operate the phone with one thumb but also have all the advantages of a touchscreen enjoyed those using Apple or Android devices. One of the phones that BlackBerry announced has a physical keyboard and a 3 inch touchscreen (called the Q10), while the other sports a 4.2 inch touchscreen and no keyboard (called the Z10). BlackBerry is giving the all touchscreen device the larger marketing

push. The company does realize, however, that many people that have held on to their BlackBerrys have done so for the physical keyboard. That is why BlackBerry put a lot of thought into the onscreen keyboard. It has very good spacing and the autocorrect is very good, but the most unique thing about the keyboard is its predictive ability. As you are typing on the keyboard, the keyboard predicts several words that you might be typing and puts those words over the next key you might type according to each word’s spelling. While some may find it easier to simply type all the letters of a word, this feature will certainly be helpful to those who BlackBerry is trying to woo away from a physical keyboard. Another calling card of the BlackBerry marque is security. Many businesses adopted the original BlackBerrys for their security, and the new operating system is no slouch in this regard. BlackBerry 10 is currently the only mobile operating system certified by the US government to send classified documents. BlackBerry has also added many of the features one would expect in a modern smartphone. The company has improved their email and messaging apps (a must to attract business users). They have also added new productivity features such as multitasking and

the “BlackBerry hub” (essentially a tab for relevant notifications that can be accessed from anywhere). There are a few kinks, however. The default map application is less than satisfactory, and its app store is launching with 70,000 apps (compared with about 700,000 from both Apple and Google). These are far from killers. Apple has survived the launch of a terrible mapping app, and there are other options for map apps. While the BlackBerry app store does for now lack all the apps from Google, Snapchat, Instagram, and others, there is a good chance that these apps will be available soon. The store does have most of the other big name apps (Facebook, Twitter, Angry Birds, etc.). However, app numbers tend grow pretty fast after the launch of a new, highly-anticipated operating system, and BlackBerry fans, most likely the first adopters of the new phones, won’t be that concerned with app number. BlackBerry has taken a huge step forward. While many people are not going to drop iPhones and Android devices to get BlackBerry 10, the operating system will definitely appeal to BlackBerry fans and maybe other groups in the long term. Ultimately though, only time will tell if BlackBerry 10 pulls the company back into the spotlight.

Scholar Bowl Apprisal

ow, I know this will be hard, but please hold back your screams of excitement for just a few moments. The scholar bowl season is now seriously underway. After a decent but disappointing first tournament back in November, where we went undefeated in the morning but lost to Ladue during the playoffs, the team was ready

By Alex Noddings ‘13

to get serious for the DeSmet tournament. For the first time in years, we fielded two teams, the second made entirely of sophomores and freshmen. Although they went 1-3, all of their losses were extremely close. Meanwhile, the varsity squad went undefeated and took first, with Charlie Rapp placing 6th individually and myself placing

second. All in all it was a good day. Sadly, something was lacking at our last tournament: fans. Not even Charlie Rapp’s mom came out. Thank goodness we have a chance to remedy this travesty. This weekend, varsity and JV have a tournament at SLUH; next weekend, the JV team has a tournament at DeSmet; and

the weekend after that, varsity has the craziest tournament of the year: WUHSAC at Washington University. Ms. Swigelson is coming to the SLUH tournament, so you know it will be totally swaggin. And there might even be girls there. You never know. So come on out and watch Priory Scholar Bowl kick some tail.

Wrestling Metro league tournament saturday

Sports

Superbowl XLVII: 49’s vs. Ravens By Eric Stange ‘14

stage has been set for what should be a remarkable Super Bowl. Disregarding the actual contest, it should be spectacular, since Super Bowl Sunday has become somewhat of a national holiday. So much so that our own school has come to the brilliant realization that the subsequent Monday has been deemed unfit for scholastic activity. Furthermore, the National Football League owes it to its more than loyal fanbase to provide theatrics and entertainment beyond expectation. This anticipation of American splendor can only be experienced properly should both teams arrive in New Orleans ready to leave everything on the gridiron. Effort on both sides should go without saying, but Super Bowls XXIV (49ers-Broncos) and XXVII (Dallas and Buffalo) insisted that we as sports fans be

honest with ourselves. IF both the Ravens and the 49ers both play to their potentials, I think the some 200 million worldwide viewers will be in for a real rough showdown. I believe that this will happen, as brothers John and Jim Harbaugh have never coached a football game in their lives without winning being the top priority. Both coaches have a similar trait in the coaching style; preparation. Neither team has been out-prepared by any opponent this entire year, save the immortal Rams of this great city. Should this Super Bowl go according to plan, I give the advantage ad Baltimore. This Ravens team is truly magnificent, a model for which I wish the aforementioned Rams to follow. Complete on every level, this team’s top gear is hard to beat. John Harbaugh will have his team

better prepared than anybody can imagine. In addition to preparation, the Ravens have ample talent and enough poise to cap an impressive postseason off with a win. One of the main reasons for that premise is Joe Flacco. He has seemed to have started to play to his own expectations, out-dueling legends Peyton Manning and Tom Brady on both their home fields. Making smart decisions and managing the game, making impressive throws along the way, Joe Flacco could make a case of belonging among the most elite in the NFL with a win. Whoever said the Ravens can run the ball well is correct. Ray Rice and Bernard Pierce have proved a rugged tandem who will fight and gain every yard until a defense is running ragged. Whoever said the Ravens can only run the ball is wrong, however. Shifting from

a run based attack in the first half in favor of a more imaginative West Coast-esque style in the second, the Ravens romped the Patriots secondary. With a defense relying more on heart and desire and less on ability and swagger, the inspired Ravens defense looks to contain finicky quarterback Colin Kaepernick better than his previous two opponents have. That should not be a problem. Conversely, the 49ers have been a Super Bowl favorite among experts and bandwagoners alike. However, they are far more inconsistent than their opponent. Their pass rush, arguably their best asset of their better side of the ball, was non-existent in Atlanta. Aldon Smith was as effective as Matthew Ludwig is in the paint, and Justin Smith appeared to be much, much slower and weaker. The secondary was flat out burned by three people in three aspects which were hardly secretive; Julio Jones over the top, Roddy White in crossing patterns and Tony Gonzalez in the flat. Hardly a coaching and game-planning nightmare with a defensive unit as talented as the 49ers. The 49ers face a similar problem in the Ravens, if not worse: budding star Torrey Smith as Jones, a red-hot Anquan Boldin as a more dynamic White, and former BYU standout Dennis Pitta as Gonzalez. The offense has surprised its doubters, with running back Frank Gore on a tear as he continues his overdue quest for postseason success. Vernon Davis has seen

CHECK OUT HOW THE VARSITY TEAMS FARE ON STLHIGHSCHOOLSPORTS.COM

Sports more balls come his way in the postseason than he had the last several weeks of the regular season, much to the chagrin of the Yung Sosas Bangbang. Michael Crabtree has responded well to the postseason spotlight as well. Even Randy Moss has made headlines, on and off the field off course. As entertaining these skill players are, the 49ers do not bring enough to the table as a whole. While he is just another poster boy for the Tim Tebow cause, Colin Kaepernick and company will

crumble. Not just because the Ravens are overwhelmingly better, but because the 49ers are not championship material. As much as the prophecy seems to be coming true for the 49ers, the crushing truth will be realized by the Jim version of the Harbaugh operation and the boys from the Bay at the end of February 3rd: that the Ravens were just that much better. Not much, but enough to win by a touchdown. Final Score: Ravens: 31, 49ers: 24

Playoff Hockey To Begin Friday By Brayton Briggs ‘14

he Priory Rebels Hockey team had a tough year, with whole season injuries from team Capitan Jack Rourke, and goaltender TJ Neimann, 4 game streak without goaltender Stephen Clark and future playoff injured player Tommy Weaver, the Rebels can’t find a breath of air. With a losing record, young (senior-less team)

and nearly goaltender-less, the Rebels that have shown their colors in years past are struggling. In all the games the rebels have lost, they have lost by 1-3 points excluding Westminster (Challenge cup team). This means that the Rebels have been in every game played this season, and without a lot of key players. But there is

something to be proud of, they never, ever gave up, even when they were winning. And that is a lot to say for the young, growing team as they venture into the Founders Cup playoffs. The season is not over, and the team has a chance to redeem themselves in the playoffs. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Next year

the Rebels will be at full strength with 2 goaltenders and a bloodthirsty team looking for revenge from the schools around the ‘lou’. And looking at next years line up, they will get what they want, from who they want, and when they want it. Because next year is very promising. But with that said, lets get ready for the playoffs.

Priory Wrastlin’ Wraps Up January, Gears Up for League

he Rebels wrestling team has had a busy January, rounding out the month with several meets and tournaments. During the week of Jan. 15, Priory had a meet at DeSmet (resulting in a [54-35] victory) and a tri-meet at home against Windsor and Pacific. The Rebels handily defeated Windsor [48-18] and lost to Pacific [42-27]. A particularly exciting part of the meet was Alex Haueisen’s 15-11 loss against Pacific: in a fast-paced match, Alex put his opponent on his back with a minute left - but he was able to escape being pinned and come out with the win. The

By Justin Davis-Morgan ‘13

meet also saw the varsity debuts of two underclassmen. Heavyweight Brandon Tajkarimi pinned both of his opponents that night in the first period, finishing his Pacific match in only 13 seconds; and Andrew Abad, a freshman, lost 7-6 in a strong first varsity match against Pacific. Jan. 23 was the last dual meet of the season, against McCluer South-Berkeley, and also Senior Night - the Rebels have 6 seniors on the team: Connor Behnen, Justin Davis-Morgan, Wyatt Gale, Alex Haueisen, Khaliq Snow, and Charlie Welsh. This particular meet was filmed by website

Prepcasts.com, and footage of the entire varsity meet is available on that site. Many of the matches were close ones, and the team scores went back and forth. In the very last match of the night, however, Brandon Tajkarimi was pinned in the second period - and McCluer barely edged by with a [40-39] win. Overall, Priory’s dual meet record for the season was 10-4. Priory also had two major tournaments in this period. On Jan. 19, Priory wrestled in the Fulton Tournament, receiving 5th place; multiple wrestlers placed individually. Then, the following Saturday held Priory’s

NEXT ISSUE: February 15th

own varsity tournament, in which the Rebels placed 3rd as a team and again had multiple medalists. Coming up, the varsity squad heads to the Metro League Tournament on Feb. 2 - key matchups will be against Westminster, MICDS, and John Burroughs. All of this leads toward the zenith of the wrestling year, districts, when the Rebels will seek qualifiers for state competition. The Junior Varsity wrestlers have also continued to have strong performances in meets and tournaments as their season comes to a close. Their last meet is a tournament at Parkway South on Feb. 2.

Opinion

Mercy Hospital Blood Drive February 12, 9:00am-1:00pm in the Commons

Leukemia Lymphoma Charity Basketball Game February 8th, Varsity Basketball Home Game

Please sign up! Mercy expects 40 total. We can do much better than that. As an incentive, we will be playing seasons 2, and 3 of the Office during the drive. Also if signed up by Friday the 8th, you will be entered in a drawing for a Chik-fil-a gift card. You also recieve one free YOLO t-shirt (see the one on the front desk), and snacks and drinks after your donation. Please be generous with your blood, it will save lives!

Please Bring Donations: For every $2 you will be entered into a drawing to take a Half-Court Shot and win a $100 VISA gift card. 5 people will be selected (3 students) for a chance to shoot. Pleas invite your friends and parents for this great cause.

LAUS TIBI DOMINE -the STUCO guys

Groundhog Day Preview

ne of the oldest traditions in Priory history is yet again upon as we prepare for this amazing festival. Already the school is abuzz with talk about what the groundhog will predict this year. The Priory groundhog that has never made one incorrect prediction looks to continue on its 58 correct streak (more than the required 27 for the cash prize). The festival generates nearly twice the revenue for the school, as does Xanadu with all the tourists that come in for the special day. The tents in which the tourists are staying have already been up for a week and the people in them are going absolutely bonkers with anticipation. The betting odds are already up with 6 to 1 on spring. The bookstore is now taking bets and they throw in a free nutty bar with every bet placed above one thousand dollars. Although the groundhog’s record is absolutely perfect he was caught in a great scandal a number of years ago when he was accused of throwing the prediction

By Michael Herman ‘14

in order to make a few bucks on the side. After these accusations were made in a mere coincidence the Priory groundhog came into a lot of money after his uncle Punxsutawney Phil died. After this his name was cleared, as he was correct in his prediction for the umpteenth time in a row. Despite the mirth that accompanies groundhog we are always reminded of the tragedy that caused our community much grief. The original Priory groundhog that was only with us for a few short years was taken from us in a gang fight before he was able to make his prediction. Our beloved groundhog was minding his own business a rival gang member came up and shot him. The suspect was originally suspected to be either a young Ryan Gosling from gangster squad or part pirate part cowboy but the authorities then discovered he was part pirate part fire fighter after he instagrammed the accompanying picture. So we here at Michael Blogs urge you to have an excellent ground-

hog but remind you to play it safe and not go on any dates with Bill Murray or whatever the plot of that movie is. Lastly I would like to formally apologize for a part of page seven in the last Record. I’m not sure in what universe Rick Pitino coaches the “Louisville Wildcats” but it’s certainly not a universe that I live in. Also

although I don’t analyze the NCAA tournament professionally I would not think the Louisville Wildcats are going to go quite as far in the tournament as our well informed professional has predicted. In conclusion I would like to assure that my articles shan’t be sharing a page with another article as heinous as that one.

“FOr the life of the flesh is in

Opinion

What’s Hot and What’s Not: The Latest in Priory Fashion By Thomas Burton ‘13

s a fashion connoisseur, I can’t help but to notice all of the tremendous (and not-so-tremendous) style that has been going on at Priory recently. My personal motto, from the great Francis Bacon, is one that you too, ought to strive for: “Fashion is the only attempt to realize art in living forms and social intercourse.” So, listen to Francis, and express yourself through what you wear. With that being said, here are the four people I have seen on campus with the most style, and the four people with the least style. WHAT’S HOT Steven Hanley, Senior Although not wearing anything flashy, Steven’s contemporary look is sure to have the ladies swooning. With the Polo button down and the rolled up sleeves, Steven’s outfit speaks for itself. The light blue in the shirt provides a perfect contrast to his red hair.

Jack Mueller, Senior As he always does on game days for the Rebels basketball squad, Jack came to school sporting a coat and tie on Tuesday. Jack’s team spirit alone should be enough to get him in the “What’s Hot” section, but he truly does look phenomenal. The bow tie and the vest are two necessary items for any aspiring young gentleman, and Jack pulls off the look with grace and prowess. Hank Schake, Senior Citizen Mr. Schake is well renowned for his collection of pastel-colored sweaters, in what has become a signature look for him. Mr. Schake has blazed trails in the fashion community since the beginning of time, so he was, needless to say, heartbroken, when he heard of the news requiring faculty members to wear coat and tie. However that didn’t stop Mr. Schake and his sweater collection, as he decided to simply continue wearing them over the tie. A very bold move from Mr. Schake, and a move that just screams: “I’m cool and I don’t care what you think.”

n the blood” -Leviticus 17:11

W HA T ’S N O T

Adam Thomas, Junior Not traditionally known for being well dressed, this Tuesday was no exception for Adam Thomas. He wore a distasteful colored green hoody, along with his tattered pants. And worst of all, his hoodie was a DIRECT VIOLATION OF THE NO-HOODIE POLICY, and as such, deserves to be demerited by any teacher reading this article.

Khaliq Snow, Senior Known for his outrageous fashion, Khaliq’s attempt at style was not a success this week. His navy blue sweatpants clashed terribly with his black jacket (a major fashion no-no), but that was not even the worst thing of all. His sideways hat was a major failure, as his attempt to look hip simply did not work. Tim Bussen, Professor Although I had not previously noticed Mr. Bussen’s style either positively or negatively, I certainly noticed it negatively on Wednesday. Mr. Bussen was just simply not looking good on this particular day, and his tucked-in tie pretty much spoke for the whole look. It is never, ever, a good idea to tuck in your tie while eating, because you never know what paparazzi may be watching. In addition to the tie fiasco, Mr. Bussen clashed terribly. The only aspect of his look that was aesthetically pleasing was the orange, which he grasped, but alas, that was not enough to save the look.

Puzzles

Down

1. French 27. Entice Sudan 28. As well 2. Black, in 29. Dresspoetry maker 3. Lampblack 34. Admirer 4. Backside 36. What 5. Strict a person is 6. Financial called officer 37. Murres 7. Anagram 38. Char of “Chatter” 40. Head8. Chills and quarters 42. fever Approaches 9. An un45. Badmarried girl mouth 10. Corridor 48. Worn 11. Perpenaway dicular to the 51. American keel symbol 12. A sudden 52. Extraterforceful flow restrial 13. Pilfer 53. Rescued 21. Neigh55. 8th Greek borhood letter 25. Exploded 58. Wicked star 59. Astrin26. Contribgent utes 60. Accomplished 61. Not closed 62. Toward sunset

1. Plateaux 6. Streetcar 10. Overtake 14. Cancel 15. Indian music 16. Adjoin 17. Not tight 18. Decorative case 19. Arid 20. Entwined 22. Epic 23. Snack 24. Hard glossy coating 26. Garments of goat hair 30. Prompt 31. Holiday drink 32. Broad valley 33. The products of human creativity 35. 2nd planet 39. Incapacitate 41. Oblivious 43. Leaf open-

Across

ing 44. Sexual assault 46. Dogfish 47. South southeast 49. Health resort 50. 365 days 51. A Christian celebration 54. Harbor 56. Winglike 57. Eclipse 63. Donate 64. Soil 65. Run away to wed 66. Dregs 67. If not 68. Melodies 69. Terminates 70. Bambi was one 71. Catkin

Another Tricky Cryptogram

We have had requests to make these harder, and some that they are too hard, let us know what you think, but we believe this one may stump you yet: A good insight from an influential American writer. Hint: second word starts with P.

GT DZNSUZT FJNLLPBD AFAWXXT XPOU CJPF: RPZFC, P GWOU W SNGLXUCU XPFC NR UHUZTCJPBD P BUUY. CJUB P DN CN CJU FCNZU WBY EAT CJU PCUGF. BUKC, P EZPBD CJU DZNSUZPUF JNGU WBY LAC CJUG WQWT. PGGUYPWCUXT, P RPBY WC XUWFC CJZUU GNZU CJPBDF P FJNAXY JWHU ENADJC, WBY P FCWZC W BUQ XPFC.

Hockey game Tonight 9:30pm @St. Peters vs. Ft. Zumwalt south

Entertainment

Mitch’s Musical Madness By Mitch Van Bree ‘13

Mitch is back with more of his musical madness having sufficiently deflated our hope in Christmas music until we’ve forgotten about it enough 11 months from now and can once again begin to listen to Holiday music. Until then, his exposition of littleknown bands and artists continues...

Iron by Woodkid Prepare yourself for battle. If you don’t already have a battle, you will seek one out after listening to this. This song is nothing but intense tribal drums and horns. It’s epic. The vocals are subdued but deliberate, which gives the song a perfect feel. Now go! Prepare your troops!

Holocene by Bon Iver I picked a song, but just go listen to the entire album. You won’t love it until the third listen, but you’ll thank me after that. Bon Iver makes some of the most artistic music I’ve ever heard. The musicianship is insane. And for the last time people, it’s pronounced “bone eve-air.”

LAUS TIBI

DOMINE

O’Brien and Rund: Love Doctors By William O’Brien ‘14 & Andrew Rund ‘16

Having Romance problems?? Come to either Will O’Brien or Andrew Rund in the hallways and talk to us about it. Submission #1 Hi Andrew and Will! So I’ve been having a lot of dating success lately with my tinder. But I was wondering how to get more ladies to like me back and how to get them to give me their numbers? Because that part hasn’t gone too well so far. -Sincerely; Ridiculously cute freshman Varsity Wrestler Rund- Well I have to say this is quite an easy question. Before I hit up these stunning girls I need to look classy and be happy with myself, just like Greg Jennings. After doing this I would approach the finest lady of them all. I would give her a wink that would most likely take her breath away and reel her in with my charming and eloquent ways. She then would be obligated to give me her number just like that. In your case though you aren’t as ruggedly sexy or as yoked as me or my esteemed sidekick Robin (aka Will) so you will need to set your sights lower. Since you aren’t as big as I, I would get fashion tips from John Agnew. I’m sure he would supply you with a great and very small boy’s polo. Then try and approach a lady. If you are shut down go to the opposite corner and join Jack Heitz, where he will be waiting to exchange stories about failed attempts to talk to girls.

O’Brien- Well Mr. Cute Wresler, I have a couple things to say to you. First off, I would follow my partner’s advice. Get a John Agnew small Polo shirt. It will really show off your wrestling muscles. Next thing, I would recommend that you buy exclusively thrift shop items. If you can rock an 80’s jacket, the ladies will notice. For example, one time I went to quite a hot spot of teen activity with batgirl (Andrew Rund) wearing a Will Smith style windbreaker. I could start my own “Merriam-Webster Chicktionary” with all the numbers I got that night. Finally, if that doesn’t work, I would start wrestling random gentlemen around ladies. If you’re talking to a lady with a boyfriend, immediately challenge him to a wrestling match. Make him cry. Girls really like it when random strangers beat their boyfriends into submission. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Submission #2 “Hey!! So I don’t really leave my cave often on the weekends, unless it is to play baseball. But I’m looking to ‘get back in the game’ so to say. I think it’s time to introduce these ladies to what’s up. In terms of what I bring to the table, I know all three Dark Knight movies by heart, my wardrobe rivals that of Dule Hill, I speak French near fluently, and I watch any and every show that USA network puts on. Any advice on how I can let all ladies know that this hunk of meat is up for the taking????” -Sincerely; Gus from Psych O’Brien- Well my friend it seems you got all the tools, you just got to put them together, let the ladies see what you’ve got to offer. It’s good that you know so much about the Dark Knight, because women love mysterious men. I might recommend using only your Batman voice when attempting to express interest in any woman. In terms of ‘getting back in the game’, I’d say start posting frequently on twitter and facebook. Did you just brush your teeth? Let the twitterverse know. Maybe throw in a LOL somewhere in there. If you think you ate so much food you’re going to explode, that status could translate into a couple likes. By being very obnoxious on social media, you’re sure to attract many women. You see Gus, women love mystery (as previously stated) but what they love more than mystery is when they know everything about you. And if you just wish to see as many women as possible in a short amount of time to start word going around, I would hang around Tate Callahan. Rumor has it that there’s a secret group on facebook all about Tate Callahan that has over 500 female members. Good luck and we want to hear back from you!

Rund- Well Gus maybe if you stopped wearing the same dark olive green shirt every day you would have a chance with the ladies. First of all your wardrobe is way too predictable. . . You have to change it up. For tips I would go to Cole Esparrago. . . That kid is the definition of style. He may even hit you up with some cool Nike stuff! Secondly, baseball?! Come on Gus I’ve seen you play and let’s just say you shouldn’t be boasting about your skills. Girls want a Quarterback namely the QB that has the highest QBR in the league. Even David Nogalski got some looks from the ladies during the football season but that was before they met the backups. Lastly don’t ever tell a girl you know all three Batman’s . . . Rumor is that’s how Thomas Raybuck lost his last babe, something about a mistimed Joker quote. If you just stop watching bad USA shows and invest that time with women you’ll be good in no time!

Down and Dirty with the love docs