Volume XLIII - Issue 9

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The Record Staff

News

Newtown Tradgedy Leaves Nation Heartbroken By Patrick Lindmark ‘13

Editor in Chief: Peter J. Cogan Layout Editor: Jack M. Mueller Guest Editor: Luke McGartland Content Editor: Patrick C.Lindmark Editor at Large: Thomas S. Burton Faculty Moderator: Chris W. Bailes

The Record Disclaimer The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by students/staff members. Its purpose is threefold: to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members of the Priory community, including students, faculty, and alumni. The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

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Jillian Soto uses a phone to get information about her sister Victoria Soto (who was killed), a teracher at the Sandy Hook elementary school in Newtown on Friday.

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ast Friday, equipped with an assault rifle and multiple handguns, 20-year-old Adam Lanza devastated the community of Newtown, Connecticut and changed the innocence and mindset of this nation as a whole. This tragic mass shooting has sparked debates over gun control and mental care, emotional responses both angry and fearful, and stories both heroic and tear jerking. The na-

tion has heard heart breaking interviews, police briefing after police briefing, and one of the best Presidential speeches in the past few years. The tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut is a scar on America’s heart that hopefully will not be soon forgotten. On Friday morning, after shooting his mother in the head four times at his house, Adam Lanza, who’s name should be a minute fact and not

a headline, forced his way into the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. Moving from classroom to classroom, the shooter killed eighteen children, none older than 7, and six teachers and administration. The victims had anywhere from three to eleven gunshot wounds each. When the shooter heard first responders approaching the school, he turned the gun on himself, kill-

This issue of the Record is dedicated to Clare Blasé and to the victims of the shooting in Connecticut including: Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, Mary Sherlach, Lauren Rousseau, Victoria Soto, Olivia Engel, Emilie Parker, Rachel Davino, Anne Marie Murphy, Charlotte Bacon, Daniel Barden, Josephine Gay, Ana Marquez-Greene, Dylan Hockley, Madeleine Hsu, Catherine Hubbard, Chase Kowalski, Jesse Lewis, James Mattioli, Grace McDonnell, Anne Marie Murphy, Jack Pinto, Noah Pozner, Caroline Previdi, Jessica Rekos, Avielle Richman, Benjamin Wheeler, and Allison Wyatt. The Record sends out prayers to all their families.

Submit your article to theprioryrecord@gmail.com


News ing himself with a single bullet to the head. Police discovered that the shooter had used a Bushmaster .223, military style assault rifle with 30 round magazines to kill his victims, and a handgun to kill himself. The shooting in Newtown lead to several immediate discussions, with more developing throughout the next few days. The first discussion to leap onto the scene was a debate over gun control. Opinions on gun control quickly intensified and radicalized, with some calling for the outlaw of all. Next came the heroic accounts of teachers and students alike that stepped up for their students and classmates. The media slowly released the stories of people like teacher Victoria Soto, who hid her students in a closet in her classroom before dying for them. Then came the story of the school’s principal,

Dawn Hochsprung, who died while lunging at the shooter. After that, another teacher, Anne Marie Murphy, had her story told. Her body was found covering the bodies of a couple of her students in an apparent attempt to shield them from the shooter. Finally, President Obama gave us the stories of a young boy offering to lead his class out of the building because he knew karate. President Obama’s speech was comprehensive, ranging from stories, like that of the courageous young boy, to political positions, to spiritual reflections. President Obama began by offering Newtown the condolences and prayers of the nation, and praising the students, teachers, first responders, and the community of Newtown as a whole for their bravery and fortitude. President Obama

then ventured into a territory rarely spoken of by Presidents: spirituality. “Why are we here? What gives our life meaning? What gives our acts purpose?” These are not questions you usually hear during a Presidential address. President Obama answered that question by saying, “There’s only one thing we can be sure of, and that is the love that we have for our children, for our families, for each other.” He discussed the joys and hardships of parenting, and asked if we, as a country, had done enough to keep children safe. President Obama believes we haven’t and has pledged to use all the powers of his office to prevent another tragedy like this. The shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary school was another in a string of mass shootings in America, but one that hit close to the heart

of every American. To hear of eighteen 1st graders being shot and killed was a shock through the numbness that the high number of American mass shootings has created. The shooting raised some important questions, such as “What is the practical purpose of owning an assault rifle with a 30 round clip?” The shooting, along with other recent shootings, has also brought about a change in the hearts and minds of every American. Nobody can feel quite as safe walking into a school or theater. Nobody can take for granted the presence and love of family and friends. The shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary must always be remembered, and the victims and their families must be present on the minds of everybody, whether on the floor of Congress or beside the Christmas tree with family.

Best Christmas Gifts for The Ladies By Thomas Burton ‘13

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n the famous Christmas poem, Clement Clarke Moore famously said, “Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.” Well, if you don’t get your special someone the right gift this Christmas season, this lucky (or unlucky?) lady will most certainly be stirring. Here are some gift suggestions that your lady will surely love. 5. “The Giftcard” Pros: Let’s her get what she truly wants. Cons: Tells her that you don’t really know what she likes.

4. “The Kiss” If you met the above-listed conditions of being jobless and having a woman, the kiss is a slightly more romantic version of the hug. But please folks, keep it clean—no tongue. 3. “The Flowers and the Chocolates” If you really want a girl to fall for you, throw in some corny line like: “Flowers because you’re so pretty, and chocolates because you’re so sweet,” and then throw her a big ole grin, and she’ll be all over ya (in an appropriate kind of way). Note: If you have an overly

sensitive girlfriend who could possibly construe the giving of flowers as calling her fat, this gift may not be a good idea. 2. “The Hug” The hug is a classic gift that men and women alike have used since the beginning of time. It is impossible to feel disdain while giving another human being a Christmas Hug—that is, unless the giver of said hug actually has a job and can thus afford to buy his woman a gift with a price tag. 1. “The Jewelry” Death, taxes, and woman lik-

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ing jewelry. These are the three things that we can be certain will always exist. For some reason, the opposite gender has always been attracted to these shiny little contraptions—whether they be earrings, necklaces, or rings—so you can never go wrong with this option (assuming you have enough dough to make it happen). So happy holidays, everyone. I hope you and your special someone will enjoy the Christmas season and that you won’t be slapped for giving a bad gift.

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sports

Rebel Hockey Report By Brayton Briggs ‘14

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round the school, it is difficult to get around the fact that the Priory hockey team is not putting up results that it had wished for. With a disappointing record, you would think a team like this would be nothing but a bunch of benders touching ice for the first time. Contrary to popular belief, the Priory hockey team is not as bad as one would think. For most of the games, the team successfully won 2 1⁄2 periods of bone-crushing, high-intensity play. But unfortunately, there is the 5-7 minute section of any game where the rebels can’t close out a victory. It is beyond difficult to say why, but that is the stone cold truth. When the bloodthirsty rebels met with the parkway north

Vikings, the result of the game was a tie 2-2, with priory having about 35 shots in the first two periods and the Vikings having just 2. But, in the third period, the Vikings struggled for another 12 shots, which isn’t terrible, but the rebels themselves got 11 in the third, with a total of 14 shots (Vikings) to 46 shots (rebels). Captain Jack Rourke playing with an injured groin (so he says) really hurts the rebels. There was also an injury to (superstar) Brayton Briggs’s back which was crosschecked in the Whitfield game... Its hard to win. Now to the positive aspects: Carlo Herbosa has taken on a new trend, which I like to call “head-hunting”. This young man simply “wrecks” other hockey

players anywhere on the ice; from silly benders to those who snipe tenders, he is a mere bash-brother. Ben Krause, who has had countless breakaways, has a filthy dangling technique that I like to call the “dependent-deke” Because whenever this youngster is on a breakaway, he is almost guaranteed to score, unless his skates are ill-sharpened and he slips like fool. Lastly for this section’s highlights, Brendan Gaffney is one who has been beating the goalie quite frequently, I like to call his technique the “grazing-goal” because there is simply nothing else Brendan does on the ice besides score frequently. Now our games tend to be very close, you see. And

we need fans out there, not that they haven’t been great already, but if on a typical school night, Friday or Saturday night where you aren’t busy, go to the hockey games. The more people that are there- the more rowdy of a section it is. The rule is no foul play for the spirit section, keep the chants clean. But get rowdy, I mean it. Sam Newman has been an excellent fan, he gets rowdy and keeps it clean (for the most part) and his technique is what I like to call “getting-dem-bois-rowdy.” He has quite a talent. Farewell, and as always stay classy priory. P.S. If you want a technique assigned to your name, earn it at the next game, see you there.

Rebels Rough Start, Hopeful By Jack Mueller ‘13

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he basketball team has had a rocky start, but not a hopeless one. At 2-6 we are entering the Affton tournament coming off of two close loses to Principia (5751) and St. Mary’s (53-41). The latest headline from STLhighschoolsports.

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com stated “St. Mary’s grind out win over error-prone Priory.” As embarrassing as it is for me to read that, it also leaves me hopeful. We are losing games because of our own stupid mistakes. These teams are winning games against us, but we are beating ourselves.

That is more or less the conversation Co-Captain Thomas Raybuck and I had with the team Wednesday night. The Rebels are playing very tough opponents and keeping the score within 2-3 shots, or 2 possessions, or a few free throws, or what

have you. Regardless, the idea is that the team is a few games away from really breaking lose. We have to tighten up a few screws and we’ll be playing with the best of ‘em. Some overall stats on the following page:

AFFTON TOURNAMENT DEC. 27-29, GAME 1 VS HANCOCK


sports

Priory Wrastlin’ Rumbles Through the Month of December

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By Justin Davis-Morgan ‘13

he Rebels wrestling team has been seeing continued success since their season began. Nov. 30 through Dec. 1, the varsity squad went to John Burroughs for a tournament, where they placed 3rd overall (well covered in school assembly was Wyatt Gale’s exciting victory over Burroughs heavyweight Solo Ceesay). Priory then had a tri-dual on the 11th, handily defeating Chaminade [55-12] and Gateway Tech [68-12]. One of the team’s greatest challenges came two nights later, against a very strong Webster Groves group. Priory began with an 18-9 lead in team points. Afterwards, a huge string of victories by Webster Groves allowed them to push ahead for a 30-24 lead. With two matches left in the contest, Alex Haueisen – who had been feeling sick all evening – decided to wrestle at the last minute. He pinned his opponent in the first period, tying (and effectively saving) the meet for Priory. This left the tiebreaker

up to 160-pound wrestler Dominic Coppola. His match went back and forth, with each wrestler scoring on the other, until Dom gained a 1-point lead with a minute left in the third period, finishing with a 9-8 win. This sealed a [33-30] victory for the varsity squad as a whole. After Webster Groves beat a depleted Parkway West squad 72-0, Priory got their chance – winning this matchup [78-3]. All of Priory’s points came either by pin or by Parkway’s lack of wrestlers in many weight classes. The only loss came in a tough 9-8 match, in which 145 pounder Charlie Welsh faced a Parkway wrestler who had perhaps the strongest performances of the night for their team. The squad ended its busy week with a tournament at Brentwood, earning 2nd place. Going into the Christmas break, varsity wrestling is 6-0 in dual meets, and has placed highly in both tournaments in which it has competed. The team travels to Jefferson City on Janu-

ary 3 to kick off the new year with matches against Blair Oaks and Lutheran St. Peters. The JV team has also been consistently performing at a high level. The Priory JV tournament showed very good performances from all the Priory participants – plus, who knows if the setup and cleanup of the mats have ever gone more smoothly. At the CBC JV Tournament on Dec. 8, seven wrestlers received medals – 3 of whom (Patrick Rolwes, Patrick French, and Brandon

Tajkarimi) placed first. Against Chaminade and Gateway Tech, Priory’s JV dominated as much as the varsity – albeit in a smaller group of matches – with almost all matchups ending in a Rebel victory, and plenty of pins to boot. Whether on JV or Varsity, Priory wrestling is performing greatly. Come watch the team compete in even more matches when Christmas break ends; the next home meet is on Jan. 8 versus CBC and Mehlville.

HOCKEY GAME SATURDAY 7:30 @ AFFTON VS. WENTZVILLE HOLT

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News

Roadies Soccer Game, Christmas Tradition By Peter Cogan ‘13

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ast Friday night the Priory seniors in Dr. Kilcullen’s theology class hosted the Roadies soccer team for a game in the multipurpose gym. The Roadies are a team of homeless men from the St. Peter and Paul Community Center in Soulard. Keith Deisner started the team back in 2007 as a gateway for services including job searches, resume advice, drug and alcohol counseling and help reconnecting with families. Being on the team requires a pledge of 100 percent sobriety; entrance into the workplace is strongly encouraged. The coaches and mentors of the Roadies team are several of Dr. Kilcullen’s high school friends. So he decided to connect a Christmas Classic to his class, Church and the Poor, back in 2008. This tradition has been a great way to have Priory students and home-

less men celebrate Christmas on a level playing field. For those of you thinking that this was a laid back game, you would be incorrect. Neither the seniors nor the Roadies were taking the game lightly, as several players on each team found themselves on the floor throughout the game. It was a fun and spirited game. Those watching could see Jeffrey Hopson and Sam Newman dangling the homeless right and left, as well as John Vitale showing off his hidden foot skills. The MVP of the match was, without any argument, the Roadies’ goalie, Lance. The sole reason that the Roadies pulled out a 4-3 win was due to his acrobatic performance in front of the net. He made several point-blank saves that easily could have been goals for the Priory seniors, keep-

ing the game in check until the Roadies managed to score in the last minute of the game. But both teams knew that it wasn’t the score that mattered, but the fact that soccer could bring together the homeless of St. Louis and the seniors into a community. For the homeless players, this is the only “Christmas” they receive – through the generosity

and hospitality of the Priory community. The seniors also gave the Roadies a few extra Christmas gifts in the spirit of the season: a brand new set of Nike soccer balls as well as two pug goals. It was the smiles on their faces as they received Priory’s hospitality that made the event one so special, as it is every year.

Nation States: Join Schakastan!

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ave you ever dreamed of being President? Have you ever believed that you could have made a much better decision on a particular issue than one of your local politicians? Or maybe you have simply wanted to feel the absolute power of an oppressive dictator. If so, I have some good news. The online game NationStates offers players the ability to develop a nation according to their own ideals. It is free and easy to use, it doesn’t require you to download anything, or

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By Austin Kreuger ‘14

provide personal information, and (best of all) it doesn’t have to take more than a few minutes out of your day. Every day, the player, acting as the government, is given two issues that can be addressed. Opposing viewpoints are given, and it is up to you to choose one side over the other, or simply dismiss the issue. As you progress though the game, the issues become more complicated, and you are often forced to choose one of two extremes. The way you respond to a par-

ticular issue will affect your nation’s civil rights, economy, and political freedoms scores. Under the ‘Analysis’ button, you can see how your nation compares to other nations in a variety of categories, such as employment, obesity, tourism, and averageness. These scores are all determined by how you respond to different issues. This screen also provides a marker for the World Average, showing you if you are above or below average for the particular category.

Despite having celebrated its ten year anniversary earlier this year, NationStates did not become popular at Priory until just a few weeks ago when Alex Noddings (aka Messiaenaria) started playing and founded the region Schakastan. (Yes, this is named after Mr. Schake.) After taking a few days to get started, the game literally became popular overnight. In just one day, the region grew from eight nations to well over twenty. “Then it got out of proportion really

CHECK OUT HOW THE VARSITY TEAMS FARE ON STLHIGHSCHOOLSPORTS.COM


News

quickly,” stated Alex, “Really quickly.” Now, Schakastan includes more than 80 nations and ranks among the top 120 regions in the world, and more nations join every day. To put this perspective, there are more than 119,000 nations and

well over 13,000 regions. The names of nations in Schakastan range from Messiaenaria to names such as Swaggladesh and The Holy Jeroman Empire. To create your own nation, simply go to nationstates.net, click ‘Create a Nation,’ and

get started. To join Schakastan, (which all self-respecting Priory students should do) just go to ‘The World,’ search for ‘Schakastan,’ and click ‘Move to Schakastan.’ Or you can just ask Alex, myself, or any other member of Schakastan to send

you the link to the region’s page. Notice: Anyone who gives their nation an inappropriate or offensive name, national motto, flag, etc. will be banned from the group effective immediately.

Oklahoma Behind the Scenes 1

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By Lucas McGartland ‘14

n case you haven’t heard, the Fine Arts Department is producing Oklahoma! as its annual winter musical. Being on the crew myself, I was able to get exclusive interviews with the cast and crew members on their experiences so far and why this show is sure to be great. First I sat down with John Miller (Class of 2014), crew chief of Paint and asked him all sorts of questions about his part in the making of Oklahoma! Luke: So what is your role in this production? John: Well, I’m a painter. I’m also crew chief of paint crew so it’s my job to paint—and coordinate the entire paint effort. L: Who else is on this paint crew? J: Oh, Grant Oehler is my co- crew chief, Tripp Miller, Patrick Reardon, and Humza Agah. J: Well this year, we’ve been trying to imitate the style of Thomas Hart Benton who

illustrated the book, Green Grow the Lilacs, which Oklahoma! is based on... Right now we’re working on a few props, Jud’s Smokehouse, and starting the backdrop. L: What do like about working on the play? J: Well, I’m on the running crew, so we change all the sets,

teaches us a lot of stuff. I was also able to speak with Ed Houser (Class of 2013) who plays the looming antagonist of the show, Jud Fry. Here are a few of the highlights from our talk: Luke: What do you think about your character? Ed: He definitely lacks social

and put props where they need to be, put buildings where they need to be, we run the show. It’s a great experience and it’s a lot of fun and you get to meet new people, and you’re part of a team, it’s all good. L: What do you think about Br. Sixtus’ sets? J: Well their very nice, very detailed, very realistic. He’s a trained professional, he

skills. He’s like—he’s not very likable. L: What do you like about being in the show? E: Well personally acting as a villian, getting to explore the darker side of human nature, and mediating on that, that’s good stuff. L: Do you think that playing this villain is helping you explore your own dark side?

E: I don’t have a dark side. No but there’s a sense that all of us can be pushed to do evil things and we have to come to grips with that. L: What are your thoughts on Oklahoma as a whole? E:It is going to be the awesomest play in the history of Priory Theatre. There you have it folks, in the words of Ed Houser, “the awesomest play in the history of Priory Theatre.” Oklahoma! opens on Valentine’s Day, February 14, and runs through February 17. All shows are at 7:30 pm in the Kevin Kline Theatre. Tickets are $10 each and will be available for purchase after the holiday break. The all-star cast includes Graham Trout as Curly McLain, Madeline Mauzy as Laurey Williams, Ed Houser as Jud Fry, Everett Zornes as Will Parker, Claire Lord as Ado Annie, and Mitch Van Bree as Ali Hakim.

NEXT ISSUE: BARRING APOCALYPSE, JANUARY 18

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ViewpoiNts oN priory

Priory is a very special place to all of us. At different points in our lives we will gain different perspectives on how Priory has affected us. So, to gain some insight, we have asked four different faces from the Priory community to write reflections on how Priory has impacted their lives and what they think of Priory. Two are current students: one a seventh grader, and the other a senior. Andrew Erker, a recent alum, and Fr. Gregory, alum and former headmaster, have also both written about their time at Priory.

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riory is a lot different from the school I came from. For instance the lunch program is really different at Priory. There is more homework and the classes are more advanced. There are more periods in a day and the school day goes longer. There is a designated period for sports. The lunch at my old school is dirt compared to the lunches at Priory. At Priory there is a salad bar, fruit bar, sandwich bar, pizza, bagels and cereal, and the main course. There is a selection of juices you can choose from along with dessert. Science is fun and easy at Priory. There are lab experiments, some at the pond. We went on a field trip to Busch Wildlife. My lab partners were horrible, but they would prob-

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here is no denying that Priory is unlike any other school in Saint Louis, but I was not always convinced that this was a good thing. Early on, the rigor of curriculum and long days began to wear on me. It was as if Priory was demanding that I give all of my next 6 years to them in exchange for an education which could not be beat. I felt like I had to “tough it out.” I’m sure a lot of people can relate to this feeling, but what is so incredible about Priory is the friends who are there

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Anthony O’ Sullivan ‘18: Form I ably say the same thing about me. In french we are learning common conversation words. Bon matin. Bonjour. Bonsoir. In fine arts we are learning perspective, horizon lines, horizontal lines, and vertical lines. Most of the things we draw are still life. Father Augustine was almost killed by a shark. He used to be an atheist. Now he is a priest-monk-dude guy. He may be crazy, but he knows a lot about Shakespeare. He gives out loser points and the cape of cruddiness. I got sent to Coach Combs’s office. The moral of that story is never to talk while the teacher is looking. A couple of the guys fit in lockers. We hang out in the commons, play foosball and ping-pong. I have met a lot of guys who are cool. I see my

friends a lot during the day. At Priory I had to be prepared to do more homework than I was used to. There is about 15-20 minutes of homework per class. At Priory I have more advanced classes. Algebra I starts in seventh grade and Algebra II starts in eighth grade. There are more periods at Priory than my old school. Also the day ends between 4:00 and 5:00. Other schools end at 3:00. At the seventh period there are sports. We are fortunate to do sports at Priory every day. When I came to Priory I was already a stellar athlete, but Priory helped to fully develop my skills. Yes, Priory is a challenging school, but it is a great school and I am happy that I made it into Priory. There are many opportuni-

to pick you up along the way. Yes, it is a stressful experience that sometimes feels impossible but there’s something about the people here that kept me coming back. They made me feel like I could keep plugging along, that I could handle the work one day at a time just like they were doing. I knew that we were sharing a common experience. Looking back, there is no one in my class, or in the entire school for that matter, who would not say the same

encouraging words to me in the depths of my uncertainties during my first years at Priory (although some would be more sarcastic than others). Enough did, and this is what kept me coming back. 6 years later, I know why so many Priory guys stay in touch years after their graduation. That they can journey to different cities and countries, yet the brotherhood still remains. Priory relationships are special because we were there for each other when no one else could be.

Andrew Fogarty ‘13: Form VI

Continued Back Page

SCHOOL STARTS MONDAY JANUARY 7TH

ties for the great abilities of the students to fully mature into something amazing. Priory may be different but it is not a school to pass up.


ViewpoiNts oN priory Fr. Gregory ‘76: Teacher

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hen I was asked to give my reflections on my Priory experience, I first began to think about the times — I graduated in 1976, so my time at Priory was marked by the end of the Vietnam War, the Watergate scandal, the continuing social and political upheaval which began in the 1960s, and the dramatic changes in the Church that followed the Second Vatican Council. Gerald R. Ford (the only unelected President in the history of the country) was in office, and had just ended the Draft, so I was spared registering when I turned 18. It was a very different Priory back then. My senior class had 42 students in it, and the whole school had fewer than 300. There were a total of 11 monks in the monastery, only six of whom are still

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here today (Fr. Paul, Fr. Timothy, Fr. Ralph, Fr. Benedict, Fr. Laurence, and Fr. Finbarr). There were 21 lay teachers in the School, of whom only two (Mr. Miller and Mr. Gleich) are still teaching at Priory. Of all the monks and teachers who were here when I was a senior, eight have passed from this life on to the next. Yet, there are some things that haven’t changed at all: the old part of the Junior School and the High School are just as I remember them (they even smell the same, and the carpet in the Library hasn’t changed at all); every day when I walk into those buildings, I am transported back to my times as a student. Fr. Paul is still teaching Calculus (the best Math class I ever had), and Mr. Gleich is still teaching Chemistry (I was in the first

class he ever taught at Priory). While the monastery has almost tripled in numbers, the monks still do what they did back then — rise early to pray and listen to God, and dedicate themselves to the service of the students of the School and their families. And, of course, the Abbey Church hasn’t changed, standing at the heart of the campus then as now. In the end, that is my most lasting memory of my time as a student at Priory — the monks. Many of us did not understand their way of life, but we could not help but be impressed by their dedication; some of us were also impressed by their intelligence, and we were challenged to know men whose intellect supported their faith rather than undermined it. They were men of culture and men who had seen much

of the world, yet they counted it as nothing when compared with the privileged encounter with God that they enjoyed by entering the monastery. It’s little wonder that I was inspired to try and imitate their life.

face that I could have possibly received. At this point you may be thinking to yourself, “If this going to be all about how awesome this guy’s time at Priory was, then this Record is becoming a flying projectile aimed at the trash can across Mr. MacDonald’s classroom.” However, I do not intend on boring you with minor details. What I most want you to get out of this is a sense of understanding, both for what I am saying and for how you can implement this in your life. Being the fourth boy in my family to graduate from Priory, I was destined to have a slightly different experience

than most of the other students in my class. I was always “Little Erker.” This never bothered me, in fact I took pride in my older siblings, but I never let people forget that, while we all looked alike, my brothers and I were not all the same. I was far more attractive and definitely the favorite Erker by a LONG shot... But all joking aside, I knew I had to make a name for myself, instead of just going through the motions. It was the idea of originality that drove me to become who I am today. I didn’t get all A’s in school but I certainly learned a lot. I learned in Dr. Logusch’s Physics class that being a man

meant more than material wealth and status. I learned in Fr. Michael’s World Religions class that to understanding other people’s culture and re-

Andrew Erker ‘11: College Alumnus

reetings Priory Friends, this composition marks the first ever, genuine Andrew Erker written article in the Priory Record, so please do me the honor of reading it all the way through. As many of you know, I was once a student at Priory. I graduated just two years ago and, although it feels like five, I have not forgotten what it was like to be in high school. I do not consider myself your average Priory student, mostly because your average Priory student is so dang high above average. I do, however, consider my Priory education the best preparation for the challenges I now

STUCO ASSEMBLY 7TH PERIOD TODAY

Continued Back Page

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opiNioN Keith’s Closet: An Interview With a Man of Class By William O’Brien ‘14

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t’s Christmas card season: the time where every family gets together and dresses up for a nice photo to send to all of their friends. Well you might as well not even bother. Mr. Heerlein will look better than you. Even your mothers can’t plan out an outfit that will compare to him even on a so-so day. Your best bet? I’d recommend e-mailing him for advice if you haven’t already taken that picture yet. Finding myself quite jealous, I conducted an interview with Mr. Heerlein in an attempt to steal all of his knowledge. The highlights of this interview will be published so all those hooligans in the lower grades can stop wearing bright purple suits and call it “fashion.”

of class apart is his ability to accessorize. Any tips? A: My go-to accessories are either cufflinks or a nice watch. Maybe both if I’m feeling it. Q: What about a top hat? A: Occasionally, maybe at a wedding or some other event of that sort. If I’m going to wear a top hat, it’d

A: I’ve always been fashion aware, but it really became a part of me after I started working for Clothing stores like Boyd’s. If you’re looking to improve your fashion, I highly recommend spending some time at a similar haberdashery (*A haberdashery is a men’s outfitting store, quite classy).

Q: Now many a man can just buy a suit and wear that. What really sets a man

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better

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better.

Q: Any other faculty member you’d like to give a shout out to? A: I will say Doc Ritchie has looked really good as of late. So I guess he would receive my shout out. Q: Can we expect anything particularly extravagant as the last week before Christmas break rolls around? A: Perhaps (note; a devious smile entered upon his face at this time) Q: Is fashion part of any time of the day? Would you just toss on some careless outfit before bed? A: No I match, even in my sleep. For example, plaids must match, even if I have to make my own, my night outfits will match.

Q: How does it all begin? Each morning, do you strive for greatness, or has greatness just become routine to your wardrobe? A: It all starts in my walk-in closet. My wife’s clothes to one side, mine to the other. It takes me about five minutes at most to put together an outfit, if that. Q: So how do you start your outfits? A: The shirt. I always start with the shirt. On an average day, I might just pick out a white shirt and have any number of possibilities. Or maybe if I’m feeling adventurous, I’d take a less common color, like orange and just role with it.

getting

Q: Final Question; who dresses better, Mr. or Mrs. Heerlein. A: Well my wife frequently asks for my opinion on her outfits, so it’s safe to say it’s me.

be more of the 18th century English gentleman look. Q: Only a blind man could not notice you as the beacon of Priory fashion. But was it always this way? When did you start becoming fashion conscientious?

Q: If you had to name a rival from the female faculty members, someone else who does a good job, who would it be? A: I would go with Ms. Swigleson. She’s really put together some nice outfits in the time she’s been here and she keeps

I must say I was shocked to hear he matched even in his sleep, but alas class has no off switch. Let this interview be a lesson for all of you fashion neanderthals who believe that you can wear a brown belt with black shoes. You no longer have any excuse to walk about our halls looking like a ruffian. If you need help planning out an outfit that doesn’t cause eyesores, I’m confident Mr. Heerlein would be more than willing to help.

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON SO THAT


eNtertaiNmeNt iTunes 11 is Out Now. Get It. W

hen Apple released iTunes in 2000 it was a simple spreadsheet of media that made it easier for the user to organize and enjoy their digital library. Apple has now released iTunes 11, which seeks to further improve upon what is already one of the most used device localized media players out there. iTunes 11’s main draw is its simplified design, where the absence of a default side bar is immediately noticeable. iTunes 11 contains a host of other features as well, including a vastly improved mini-bar and an all around faster and smoother experience. iTunes 11 was initially announced at the iPhone 5 media event way back in September and was scheduled for an early to mid- October launch. Apple had to push this release date back to November do to some under the hood issues that required them to rebuild entire sections of the

By Chris Hammer ‘14

program. Apple finally released their newest version of iTunes on the last day of November, letting reviewers and music lovers alike to get their hands on it. Upon the initial launch of iTunes 11, it is immediately apparent that apple has chosen to take a minimalist approach to their most used program. Apple has removed a default sidebar, which used to give you access to all of the sections (i.e. Music, Movies, Podcasts and Playlists) and instead goes with a drop down menu to switch between the major categories and once in the proper area you can get down into more specific sections (couldn’t think of a better way to phrase/define this). This opens up a lot of screen area for a much more appealing album cover layout, however it limits the speed with which you can switch between say your movies and a spe-

cific playlist you want to edit. For those who can’t make the jump to the new system Apple does allow the side bar to be turned back on through some simple fine-tuning in the options menu. Apple also made huge changes to the top bar adding features such as “Up Next”. If you put your iTunes library into shuffle but decide that your not in the mood for some songs you can trim down the list of what it was planning to play next and get rid of the songs that don’t match your mood. It also gives the user the ability to add songs and edit their order so as to create a mini temporary playlist, all while not canceling or pausing the current song. Apple extends this feature into its minibar creating a viable tool to listen to your music with out dealing with the fully windowed application. Apple also made a very important minor change that peo-

ple have been asking for almost since iTunes was initially released. Apple finally adds a universal search, which was long overdue. You no longer have to switch from the music section to the movie section just to search a movie that you just wanted to check if you had. iTunes 11 generally feels faster which works well and really helps complete the overall minimalistic aesthetic that apple was clearly going for. iTunes 11 is a major improvement from iTunes 10 making many great and streamlining changes, some of which are long overdue. The changes are overwhelmingly good and make it nearly a no brainer to download, unless of course your one of those people who groans every time Facebook or YouTube makes the slightest layout change.

Too EarlyByFor Christmas Music? Andrew Cammon ‘14

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his year, the radio station 102.5 FM switched from its normal programming to Christmas music on November 16. This date is too early for Christmas music, but when is the acceptable starting point for playing Christmas songs? The place for Christmas songs is the “Christmas season,” but the exact beginning of this period is hard to define.

The U.S. Fire Administration defines the “Winter Holiday Season” as the period from December 1 to January 7. Yet this time period is mostly used for grouping statistics on fires. Since Christmas is a religious holiday, one should first look to the Church in determining the “Christmas season.” The Church prepares for Christmas in Advent, so the beginning of Advent is a good indicator of the beginning of the “Christmas season.” Advent began on December 2 this year, but the beginning of Advent is defined as the closest to the Feast of St. Andrew. St. Andrew’s Feast Day is No-

vember 30; so that means that Advent could start as early as November 27 or as late as December 3. Another measure of the “Christmas season” with religious roots defines the beginning of the season as the Feast of St. Nicholas, on December 6. One more date that must be taken into account in Thanksgiving. It is widely accepted that one may start looking toward Christmas, or listening to Christmas music, once Thanksgiving is over. However, Thanksgiving does not have a set date either. The fourth Thursday of the month, Thanksgiving could be as early as November

22 or as late as November 28. When one takes Thanksgiving and Advent into account, the Christmas season could start as early as November 23, when Thanksgiving falls on November 22, or November 27, if Thanksgiving falls after the start of Advent. The best rule of thumb for the beginning of the Christmas season is November 27 or 28, but the earliest one can listen to Christmas music without being labeled crazy is November 23, while the longest one can avoid Christmas music without being labeled a Scrooge is December 6.

WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM SHALL NO PERISH BUT HAVE ETERNAL LIFE

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Holiday “He who has not Christmas in his heart, will never find it under a tree.” -Roy L. Smith History of Christmas Decorations

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h yes, ‘tis that time of year again. It is absolutely the best time for any sensible schoolchild, not to mention Delilah, of course. Now when somebody thinks Christmas, many aspects come to mind: music, presents, the Nativity, presents, and decorations. Decorations are the most obvious symbols of Christmastime. Everywhere you look in December, areas capable of being decorated are adorned with Nativity Scenes, holly, wreaths, conifers, et cetera. Most likely, you have at some point wondered where those traditions heralded from and why. Probably the most universal of all Christmas signs, the Nativity scene has long been a part of these beautifications of Christmas. The first known use of any Nativity scene associated with Christmas was in 1223, when St. Francis of Assisi gathered

By Eric Stange ‘14

live animals, wax figures of the Holy Family, and other manger elements outside a local church in Greccio, Italy. The motive of this new idea was to help those who did not understand Latin, and therefore most of the Mass, comprehend the meaning and story of Christmas. Saint Bonaventure re-created the occurrence in his biography of St. Francis in Life of Saint Francis of Assisi. This new icon spread rapidly throughout the Mediterranean, becoming most popular in the area known today as Slovakia. The Slovakians popularized the Nativity scene with their famous artisanship and painting of the figures. Currently, one would be hard pressed to not find a Nativity scene at a Christian church. Holly has always been used in times of celebration. Holly had also been an integral part of early English folklore. It is said the sharp leaves

symbolize the crown of thorns during His Passion, and the red berries symbolize the drops of Christ’s blood. Thus, hanging a holly wreath in a place of entrance during Christmastime showed that the home celebrated Christmas. The history of the Advent wreath also originated with pre-Christian Germanic peoples who, during the cold winters, made wreaths of evergreen as signs of hope for the next spring. Germans kept these traditions alive, and by the 16th century, Catholics and Protestants in Germany used the same wreaths to celebrate Advent in Christ. Since then, the Advent wreath has spread all over the Christian world. Finally, both Christmas lights and trees have become the most commonplace of decorations on residential property in the United States. Saint Boniface is widely recognized as the originator of

the Christmas tree. He used the tree as a reference point to the Holy Trinity, citing the triangular shape. Again, the Germans are credited for starting this tradition as well. Using smaller coniferous trees, the Germans used tinsel, beaded strings, silver ornaments, and candles to decorate their trees. After a small decline of prominence in the 19th century, Christmas trees surged in popularity around World War II. Ever since then, these trees have evolved into the ones we know today. All in all, most of these decorations have one central purpose in their creation; to remind people of what we are celebrating on December 25. Let that be prevalent in your minds as you make merry this holiday break.

Michael’s Blog: Guide to Smelling Nice This Christmas

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melling nice should be atop your goals this season as the weather gets a little colder and the fresh aromas of Christmas waft down the streets turning even the worst of the Scrooge McDucks into dancing sugar-plum addicts. The season

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By Michael Herman ‘14

of giving not only applies to the wondrous gifts being exchanged but also the magnificent scents that you should be giving off. Poor scents vex my sniffer like when my fridge has been emptied of roast beast, and who hash. In order to at-

tract the correct company to come underneath the mistletoe with you this year you’re going to need to bear the cologne and you will also need to know the tips and tricks to using it. The first scent we’ll be showcasing this year is

SANTA CLAUSE IS COMING TO TOWN

Naughty or Nice by Polo Ralph Lauren. “This exciting cologne features a fresh mix of yuletide fun and peppermint,” reads the New Yorker in 25 best gift ideas. If you’re really looking for a nice scent to impress even the Grinchiest of all people this


Holiday is the one for you. One cannot ignore its alluring smell. Calvin Klein has also come out with a rather interesting redolence this year, which smells exactly like your grandmother’s pumpkin pie. To put it bluntly this has made even Frosty the Snowman come inside and enjoy sitting by the fire just to enjoy its pleasant aroma.

Fruit Cake Delight makes its comeback to the hits this year as celebrity Buddy the Elf has endorsed it for the fifth year running. “Christmas is my most favorite time of year,” Buddy said last week at a press conference. “If you really want to get noticed, sprinkle a little Fruit Cake on your neck and you’re in business.”

What you really have to know about cologne is that you really have to go big, swing for the fences, and most certainly be all-in. In the season where generosity is king you really have to be generous with the amount of cologne you use, don’t be afraid to really bathe yourself in it. Next you have to be confident. Tell-

ing people to straight up smell your neck is not taking it too far, really push the envelope. Good luck with all your scent needs and please help yourself to the free samples of the aforementioned colognes, which are being given out in the bookstore as well as in scratch and sniff section at the back of the Record.

Local Woman Mauled by Papa Bear at Local Mall

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By Michael Herman ‘14

ith Christmas fast approaching it seems like everyone is rushing to mall to buy this new item or that new phone or simply just to eat one of Auntie Anne’s delicious cinnamon pretzels (the cinnamon pretzel has been a huge hit as reported in the Auntie Anne’s Biweekly magazine but as a personal opinion it vexes me slightly when all the cinnamon sugar clumps up in one place). With everyone in the mall, parking spaces are filling up quick and tensions are rising as people recklessly pull into them without so much as a care for other people’s vehicles. Mrs. Jones reports that the Kodiak bear was taking his sweet time in the parking lot and merely swerved in and took the spot at the last second. According to Jones, they did not exchange any words but the bear gave her a nasty look, which she interpreted as a minor agitation but did not really think anything of it at the time. Later while in the mall after standing in a line for cinnamon sugar pretzels, which reportedly made her just want to run screaming through the

mall, Mrs. Jones entered the toy store at approximately 3:23 PM in order to purchase her son a toy for Christmas. “The

tomers the bear finally came to the display rack of the toy he was looking for. Naturally the rack had been completely

Kodiak bear with Little Bennie and siblings. store was absolutely crowded,” says the 1400 pound bear “and I just wanted to get in there to purchase my gift for little Benny and get out”. After minding his manners and wading through the sea of cus-

emptied but the bear took in a deep breath and said to himself that there had to be others in the store somewhere. Walking through the store the bear saw just one more sitting on a shelf and calmly picked up the

last Red Ryder BB Gun in the whole entire mall. “I breathed a sigh of relief imagining little Benny’s face on Christmas day and then looked down and realized that I was no longer holding it,” says the ursus arctos middendorffi. “The same woman who had not thirty minutes before swiped my parking space had taken the Red Ryder BB Gun right out of my paws”. The bear then said that he told the woman that she must have taken it out of his hand by mistake and that he would be much obliged if she would please return it to him. “I told that filthy beast that this Red Ryder BB Gun deserved to be under my tree and not some mammal that has no use of opposable thumbs to even shoot the stinking gun with”. Onlookers say that the bear absolutely lost control of himself and attacked the woman. Mrs. Jones is attempting to press charges but outlooks are bleak for her. Here at Michael Blogs we wish you a merry Christmas and remind you to keep it classy in the mall and not act like such an animal.

“LET IT SNOW” SNOW PREDICTED FOR CHRISTMAS MORN

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eNtertaiNmeNt

Mitch’s Musical Madness: Christmas Showdown By Mitch Van Bree ‘13

Christmas music! Some of us hate it, some of us really hate it, and a few people love it. Regardless of how you feel about it, famous musicians love it! It’s basically easy money. You don’t even have to worry about writing a song! Just use somebody else’s! Every Christmas song has at least 2 popular covers by other famous artists. This raises the question: “which one is best?” So to help you get into that Christmas spirit, I’ve created a Christmas Song Showdown! Enjoy the bloodfest. Merry Christmas!

This Christmas

Winn

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This one is a blowout and it mainly boils down to one thing – soul. Donny Hathaway’s version is full of it. The instrumental and vocal performance each have character and feel. Chris Brown completely rearranges the music and tries to “make it his own” and he manages to do just that. However, that doesn’t mean it’s good. In the end, the song just sounds extremely over-produced and completely devoid of any soul. Its just Chris sounding pretty.

All I Want for Christmas Is You I realize that many people love the Mariah Carey version, but Michael Bublé wins this one. The Bublé version is so much smoother and classier. In addition, the orchestral arrangement is WAY better than the Carey version in which the instruments launch a relentless attack on the downbeat. Think about it, which one could you listen to over and over and not go insane? I promise you it isn’t the Mariah version. If it is, you’re lying to yourself.

Last Christmas

The worst and inexplicably most played Christmas song of all time! Why is this song played so much!? IT’S AWFUL PEOPLE! It has nothing to do with Christmas! Mentioning Christmas should not automatically make it a Christmas song. Why do you feel the need to give your heart away every Christmas anyway? That’s gonna cause heart inflation, therefore devaluing your heart. Plus you look desperate. I was going to have WHAM! lose because they wrote the worst “Christmas” song of all time, and George Michael is a big reason you should hate 80s music. But then I realized that Taylor Swift was stupid enough to cover the worst “Christmas” song of all time (Plus, she needs to get over herself).

Beatle Showdown This is a battle between McCartney’s Wonderful Christmastime and Lennon’s ! er Happy Christmas (War is Over). These two songs are very good and very dif-

nn i W

ferent. Paul’s song is a happy, feel-good song, while John’s is a mellow acousticbased song with a message of peace. John’s is more moving, but I have to go with Paul on this one. Wonderful Christmastime is a more popular and recognizable song. And that synth riff is phenominal! I LOVE THAT RIFF! This song and christmas lights go hand-in-hand.

I’ll Be Home For Christmas

Winner!

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…There comes a time in every man’s life when he wonders why he put himself in such a difficult position. For me, that time is now. Please don’t kill me.

Last issue 2012, happy new year

Winn

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eNtertaiNmeNt

Argo Review By Tripp Miller ‘16

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rgo combines a great story with a ton of suspense for an excellent movie. Based on the very real Iranian hostage crisis, the film is a dark, life-or-death thriller that doesn’t have to rely on gratuitous violence to remain exiting. It plays out at a perfect pace, and will leave you forestalling a bathroom break throughout. Argo was a real opera-

tion carried out by the CIA in the early eighties. Essentially, a few Americans escaped the embassy where most of the prisoners were being held, and fled to the Canadian ambassador’s house. The ambassador hid them there. The CIA then sent an agent (Ben Affleck) as liberator, to aid their escape from the country. The movie dramatizes this very well. The setting is really interesting, be-

cause the land of Iran is rarely explored in American film. Ben Afleck does great in this movie, and the supporting actors are superb. The soundtrack, too, is great, but I’m a bit biased; any soundtrack with a Led Zeppelin track is immediately good in my book. This is definitely a contender for best film of the year, and easily the best I’ve seen in a good while.

History of Christmas Music By Mitchell Van Bree ‘13

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hristmas is right around the corner and that means so is Christmas music. Now, everybody loves excessive amounts of Christmas music, but not many know the history of this holiday genre. Hopefully this article will inform you. As we all know, Christmas is a relatively modern holiday secretly created by U.S. retail stores in the year 1807 to boost profit. All stores posted signs in their windows that read, “Christmas is December 25th. Be nice to people and buy stuff!” Without question, everyone adopted this new holiday. The idea quickly spread around the world. After the creation of Christmas, Roman Catholics, trying to combat Hanukkah, and realizing that “Christ” was hidden within the holiday’s name, tried to convince people that this new holiday was actually created by the Church to

celebrate the birth of Christ. By 1810 almost everybody had bought into this Catholic hoax. At this time, Christmas music came into being. However, all Christmas songs were religious. Some popular examples include Silent Night, We Three Kings of Orient Are, and Breath of Heaven. Secular Christmas music did not come into being until after the Christgate scandal of 1853 when, prompted by too much religion and not enough buying things, the retail stores released the secret tapes of the “Christmas Creation Meetings” which revealed that they had invented Christmas. This proved that the Catholics were lying about “the whole Jesus thing.” The Roman Catholic Pope claimed that the tapes were fake. He accused the retail stores of fabricating them in attempt to shift the focus of Christmas

from Jesus to consumerism. However, the Catholic cover-up failed and the U.S. Supreme Court officially defined the meaning of Christmas as “the holiday where people are nice to people and also purchase lots of merchandise.” Angered by the Church’s immoral cover-up attempt, Martin Luther split from the Catholic Church and formed his own church. This event is known as the Great Church Schism. Luther’s new church was very similar to Catholicism except it denied any correlation between Christmas and Jesus Christ. In addition, during the months of November and December its members worshiped a god they called “Santa Claus: King of the Reindeer” or “Santa” for short. Those who remained Catholic still believed that Christmas really was about the birth of Christ. They claimed

that the Supreme Court only defined Christmas the way they did because they knew that it would stimulate the economy. Therefore, religious Christmas music is still played on the radio. However, most people realize that these songs are only played so that the Catholics don’t start another crusade. The vast majority of Americans (and people worldwide) prefer to listen to modern Christmas music, which talks about the true meaning of the holiday – snowmen, reindeer and toys. Especially toys. So get out there and listen to some Christmas music! Don’t worry if it’s false Catholic music. It’s ok to listen to that stuff if it still sounds good. Just make sure you don’t get all caught up in that mindset. Always remember the true meaning of Christmas – buying lots and lots and lots of stuff. Happy Holidays!

Will good santa conquer bad santa... find out soon

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LAUS TIBI

DOMINE

Continued: Alumnus Viewpoint ligion was the first step to acceptance of diversity. I learned a lot in Mr. Bussen’s class...oh wait, no I didn’t!!! Just kidding, that guy is the MAN! What I’m saying is that the things I took away from my time at Priory were most often not the lessons out of the textbook. Being happy and having fun were just as important to me as my grades and education. I admit that at times I may have had a little too much fun, but I can honestly say that I do not regret those Saturday mornings with Mr. Finan every once and a while. Nor do I regret Mr. Suarez dubbing me “The Common Denominator” for being there

whenever something went wrong, even if he was sadly mistaken. I couldn’t tell you my cumulative GPA for any year at Priory but I can rattle off dozens of memories and experiences that made me the person I am today. What I didn’t realize while I was having the time of my life at Priory was that as a 13-year- old, I was learning things that my 20-year-old friends are just now learning. I learned so much more than I thought, which speaks to the level of intelligence of the teachers and the curriculum. I did not truly recognize this until I came to college and so I take this opportunity

now to thank all of my former teachers for their great work. To be quite frank, I have been writing this article for about 5 hours now and I feel like I have barely scratched the surface of what I wanted to say. So now I’ll be blunt. The best advice I can think to give is simple. The most important thing you can do right now is think about what makes you happy. Then think about how you can make whatever that is a reality. The final exam that waits for me in the morning is nowhere near as important to me as writing this article. Yet to say that the grade I get in my American Politics class is un-

important would be irresponsible. The key is in the balance. But at the end of the day I want you to remember this article and maybe learn something from it. As Will Smith puts it, “You don’t set out to build a wall, you don’t start there. You say, I’m going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid and you do that every single day, and soon you have a wall.” The first thing I was told at Priory was to” listen with the ear of your heart.” I could not have asked for better advice and I know it will be with me for the rest of my life. Carpe Diem.

Continued: Senior Viewpoint Now that our six years of spending 8 hours a day together is coming to an end, I have mixed feelings. Those same people that were there to help when I had more work than hours in a day, when I was about to take my first math exam, or when I forgot to study

for my Theology quiz, will not be there to help me out. I can’t have a daily chat with Alex Noddings about the chemistry test, or ask Jack Mueller about how his plans to build a castle are going. Yet, these are relationships and familiarities that don’t just go away. There’s

something about being there during important parts of people’s lives that brings them closer together: an experience that the Priory family shares. Now, I feel that giving my past six years to Priory was the best decision I have ever made. I go to school every day knowing

Have a Safe and Merry Christmas Break

that, for the next 8 hours and sometimes more, I am going to be with people who care, people who know what they need to say when I’m stressed.


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