The Record Weekly December 20, 2010

Monday, December 20, 2010

Christmas Break Edition

The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School since 1960

Volume 41, Issue 13

Students Dreaming of a White Christmas Student body anxious for snow as they head into Christmas break

Entertainment

Specials in this issue...

Christmas’ Best Music Viz-Priory Highlights

Opinion 10 Best Gifts For $30 What Not to Give Girls for Christmas

Technology Top 5 Christmas Gadgets Top 5 Video Games

Sports Midseason Updates Bowl Preview Tony La Grinch?

Editorials The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Monday, December 20, 2010 Volume 41, Issue 13

The Record Staff Editor in Chief:

Kevin Hess ’11

Layout Editor:

David Taiclet, ’11

Content Editors:

Jon Gower, ’11 Sam Sagartz, ’11

Faculty Moderator:

Mr. Matthew L. Barrett

In this issue...

Mr. Jacob Martin, ’11 David Taiclet, ’11 Jon Gower, ’11 Sam Sagartz, ’11 Jack Wegmann, ’11 Zach Weiss, ’11 Jack Ciapciak, ’11 Henry Cordova, ’11 Niall Caparon, ’11 Charlie R. ’11 Colin Bruns, ’11 Luke Slabaugh, ’12 Carter Gage, ’12 Trevor Gin, ’12 Luc Bettaieb. ’12 Van Thomas, ’12 Thomas Burton, ’13

The Record Disclaimer The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by student editors/ staff members. Its purpose is threefold: to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members of the Priory community, including students, faculty, and alumni.

The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit.

Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

Grinds My Gears back then, and so could accommodate fishing), Santa originally went by the name Philip Mr. Jacob Martin, ’11 Notlob. At the age of just over a thousand years Editorial Writer old (he was in a freak accident involving several small pigs and a wheel barrow as a First of all, I’d just like to say that child leaving him unable to die), he committed “Christmassy” was not rejected by spell- his first ever act of charity: he gave a small check, so there’s a victory for the world right child a ham. Not knowing what to do with a there. As for the Christmassiness of this ham in the 1700s, the small child immediately article (that word was rejected), I’ll get to gave it back. Seeing his generosity rewarded that later. “Mr. Martin,” you say, “Why on with ham, Philip developed an addiction to earth would you write a Christmassy article? charity. To cope with his addiction, Philip soon And is it really so fun to use the word moved to Greenland and later to the North Christmassy that you have to keep typing it?” Pole (magnetic, not geographic) because of the To that I now answer, “It’s almost Christmas, cheaper real estate. He then changed his name and yes, try it.” What possible knowledge for tax reasons. In 1835, the Spanish could I have of Christmas? While it is true Inquisition officially ended. It was also the that I once tried to steal Christmas, that first time Santa met the woman who would doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about become his wife, Rita. With Rita, Santa had Christmas. Indeed, I had to do quite a bit of several children who never grew taller than research to even consider achieving my goal. three feet, whom Santa condescendingly All my research has led me to the following referred to as elves. While Zach Weiss hated conclusions: it probably isn’t even possible to these children, their father saw them as a steal a day, at least not without the use of a source of cheap labor. Finally able to afford his great deal of differential calculus, as a day is charity addiction, Santa soon assembled a simply a change in time. It also led me to team of thestrals to pull his sleigh. However, know a great deal about Santa Claus. Known seeing that thestrals went unnoticed or were mainly for doing the opposite of stealing met with horror, Santa soon decided to paint your things (giving you things, that’s the them light brown and call them reindeer. Also, term I wanted), Santa Claus is portrayed he got sponsored by Coke and that’s how that entirely incorrectly. Born in the year 643 company ended up designing his suit (which A.D. in a small fishing village in what is now they totally did). Merry Christmas!

Burundi (it was somewhat less landlocked

Monday, December 20, 2010 Volume 41, Issue 13

The Weekly Update The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory High School

Viz-Priory Dance Review Jack Wegmann, ’11 Opinions Writer

This past weekend saw the Viz-Priory Dance or, as the St. Louis Post-Dispatch once called it, “The Social Event of the Season,” return to Priory. The Viz-Priory dance is always a bit different from Homecoming because there are always non-Priory guys there with Viz girls, meaning it can be quite a bit less bromantic. This was definitely seen

this past weekend when Young Ivy’s “Shirt Off” came on. Besides about fifteen seniors and a handful of underclassmen, no one was taking their shirt off; this was the most disappointing part of the dance. Besides that, the dance was a great time. The music was good, the chaperones stayed out of the way for the most part, and Mr. Finan’s paper snowflake decorations looked great on the windows. All in all, VP was as successful of a dance as we could have hoped for.

It’s a Wonderful Life Trivia What is the name of the city where the story takes place?

Note: All answers at the bottom of the page

“I wish I had a million dollars!” What two words follow this George Bailey quote twice in the movie?

A Survey of Priory- Best Christmas Gifts The Record staff took a survey of people around school. The question asked was, “What is your favorite Christmas gift that you’ve ever received?” Here were some answers we received:

Which president’s picture hangs in George Bailey’s living room after the money was lost?

"A Game Boy Advanced with the Pokemon Blue game inside." -Steven Kleinheider, Sr

"Lego Ninjas. They're so awesome." -Colin Linkul, Senior

What is the name of the book that Clarence is reading at the beginning of the movie?

"Citizenship." -Gustavo Sanchez, Senior

"The Legend of Zelda for the Nintendo 64 has the best memories, but my favorite is probably a Red Ryder sled." - Mr. Barret

Where is Mary working when George tries to find her after Clarence changes everything?

"Backyard Soccer 2002" -Richard Mazuski, Senior

"A stuffed B2 character from Bananas in Pajamas. He even sings the theme song." Jon Gower, Senior

"Tickle-Me-Elmo. No competition." -Jeffey Hopson, Sophomore

Answers 1. Bedford Falls 2. “Hot Dog” 3. Abraham Lincoln 4. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer 5. The Library

Puzzles The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Monday, December 20, 2010 Volume 41, Issue 13

Crossword Puzzle

Sudokus EASY

HARD

Cryptogram

- Bart Simpson

Editorials

Monday, December 20, 2010 Volume 41, Issue 13

The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Merry Xmas? commercialize the Holiday, but this was not the abbreviations origin.

Henry Cordova, ’11 Opinion Writer

Are you offended by the abbreviation “Xmas” for Christmas?

Many Christians are. They think it is laziness, or, they think that it a form of materialism, trying to secularize the Holiday by separating the true meaning of Christ’s birth from the empty shopping industry side of Christmas. It is X-ing the “Christ” out of “Christmas” if you will. Perhaps it is true that some retailers do use the term to

Originally, The X in Xmas is not an English X, but a Greek letter chi, or χ, the first letter of the Greek word χριστος, meaning Christ. From very ancient times, the letter Chi has been used as an abbreviation for Christ. A famous example of such an abbreviation is found in a symbol of the Catholic Church, the chi-rho: ☧. Beyond just the abbreviation c or cr, the Oxford English Dictionary documents the use of the full term Xmas back to 1551. Bill Purdue, an

Open University historian and the author of The Making of the Modern Christmas is among those who support this view.

"I suppose to us it will always look like an abbreviation, but it would first seem to be an abbreviation used by clerics with a good knowledge of ancient languages," he said. So, if you were offended by the use of Xmas, do not be any longer. Be content that people using it with bad intentions are unknowingly using a perfectly acceptable term initiated by the church.

Cheers and Jeers Luke Slabaugh, ’12 Editorial Writer

Amidst all the excitement and civil unrest that goes into shopping, wrapping, extensive Craigslist browsing, one uses Christmas as a time for ultimatums, for calling out the many nuisances in their lives, for standing up to that one cousin of yours who’s been playing MCR’s record way too loud ever since he’s stepped foot into your home and you’ve just about had enough-essentially having their brief Kanye West moment. Often one loses sight of the cheer and generosity that ought to be packed into this great holiday. But this article hasn’t--therefore this article will be devoted entirely to Cheers. So many things are left out of this article: for instance, the kudos to Yawning Man for making the best road trip music, to the Cardinals for attempting to win a World Series without any defense, to Kyuss for reuniting 16 years after their breakup only to say “Well, we were afraid to ask

our guitarist he might say no…” (what, Garcia, are you 5?) Here’s what made the list: 1. Cheers to Viz-Priory. It is the perfect dance to attend stag. The effort put into both dances this year was phenomenal.

Thanks to STUCO, the acting DJs, the middle school volunteers, and the cheerful tall breathalyzer guy.

2. Cheers to the door designated for “handicapped use” only. Fair to say it caters to everyone now.

3. Cheers to the scientists in Berlin who have “cured” a patient of both leukemia and HIV by use of adult stem cell treatment. Talk about killing two birds with one stone--like, two Yao Ming-sized flamingoes. Finally, a disease that could have been eradicated by one generation sings its swan song. Showing heavy interest in monkeys now will not come with a price.

The Respect Life Club has also shown great interest in this case, as these were adult stem cells. What’s right

finally became popular. Christmas miracle.

4. Cheers to minimum speed limits.

Society has never needed these more.

While safety is the #1 concern at the wheel, a line must be drawn between “causing an accident” and “driving at such a tortoise-esque pace that the people behind you can imagine an accident happened in your direction.” In winter, everyone falls victim to this sluggish habit; perhaps it’s the excess CO2 in your system, perhaps the roads are that bad, or you don’t have a clue… and that justifies you to go at a libertine speed of 20mph on Ladue RD (or, on more common occasions, 141) and constantly press your brakes when you see the pickup behind you about to consume your automobile whole. Happy Holidays.

Entertainment The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Monday, December 20, 2010 Volume 41, Issue 13

Tony La Grinch???

Carter Gage is fed up... and unleashes his fury on Tony La Russa Carter Gage, ’12 Sports Writer

Last week was the last straw.

The Cardinals traded Brendan Ryan for a player named Maikel Cleto. Upon review, I discovered that Cleto is a chubby Dominican right-handed reliever who only throws one pitch with consistency: a batting-practice fastball.

Ryan was an absolutely atrocious hitter, but he was a joy to watch in the field.

Quick feet, soft hands, and an arm not to be slept on could have made Ryan’s .223 batting average negligible on a successful team. However, the 2010 Cardinals were not a successful team at any level. This offseason the Cardinals acquired shortstop Ryan Theriot, and they finally had a shortstop who could hit at a decent rate. Brendan Ryan projected to be used as a utility-infielder and play defense in tight late-inning situations. For Brendan Ryan, utilityinfielder is the optimal role: he wouldn’t have to hit, and he could do only what he is good at. Tony La Russa, on the other hand, didn’t like that idea (I’d like to also point out that at this moment in time, Tony La Russa has either brainwashed John Mozeliak, or something of the sort, because the poor man can simply not think for himself anymore). Tony traded him for Cleto after shopping him for months. At this point, it would be a surprise to see Cleto ever making it past AAA. This opened up a spot on the roster for a backup infielder. While most logical managers would call up a young player like SS Tyler Greene or 2B Daniel Descalso, both players who show significant promise, to get playing time and experience, it’s almost a certainty that Tony will again sign his favorite player: Aaron Miles. I, for one, have strong feelings about Mr. Miles. I feel like he

should have never walked onto a professional baseball field. Miles supposedly plays both middle-infield positions, but his range and arm play so poorly at shortstop that no manager other than La Russa would play him there. Even at second base, Miles is one of the worst fielders I have ever seen. To top that off, he’s nothing but a slaphitter. Slap-hitters can be successful in baseball under only one condition: if they’re playing it with women. The slap-

hitter is an essential part of a softball lineup, but in professional baseball the title of slap-hitter and all of those who fall under it should be exiled from the sport. Miles is just one of the types of players I would qualify as a “La Russa guy.” Another version is that of Randy Winn: past-his-prime outfielder brought for his “veteran presence” whose only real effect is stealing the playing time of a younger, more worthy player (Jon Jay, perhaps?). Not coincidentally, Winn and Miles were both signed within a month at the end of what should have been a rebuilding year. In baseball, the end of a lost season is most productively dedicated to playing young talent and seeing what next year’s team could hold.

Tony’s problem is that he is afraid of letting players prove themselves and/or

grow into successful assets. In the last 6-7 years, the only young player I can remember given a significant opportunity to succeed with no proof of his ability at the Major League level was Adam Wainwright. He was given this opportunity only because Jason Isringhausen was injured, and Wainwright hadn’t closed games since high school. We all know how poorly that worked out (Carlos Beltran certainly remembers that curveball to end the 2006 NLCS). The Cardinals have been tabbed in recent years as having a “weak farm system.” As a religious follower of the minor league programs, I cannot explain this whatsoever. The farm system is teeming with talent at the moment, but, thanks to Tony, much of it will never see the field, or it will just be traded for Matt Holliday. The lasting success of any team in the Major Leagues right now is built around a successful farm system.

Exhibit A: Tampa Bay Rays. La Russa is stuck in the past. His games of small ball and batting the pitcher in unorthodox order may have seemed nice, but they haven’t produced anything good for four years. When the position of St. Louis Cardinals manager was up for grabs just that short period of time after the postseason, I was excited for our baseball team for the first time since Mark Mulder. Maybe José Oquendo could have taken over, and, in White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen fashion, brought excitement back to Cardinals baseball.

That didn’t work out, and Tony La Russa stole away all of my excitement. I guess it’s O.K., though. Miles really had showed some promise coming out of the bullpen in the past, so I’d love to see what Tony could do with him in the rotation.

Monday, December 20, 2010 Volume 41, Issue 13

Entertainment The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

New Music Out For the Holidays Niall Caparon, ’11 Entertainment Writer

This past November and first few weeks of December was exciting as several artists dropped their highly anticipated albums.

First, on November 9, Kid Cudi released Man On the Moon, Vol. II: The Legend of Mr. Rager. It is probably the most unique album released in quite a while.

Instead of succumbing to the pressures of fame and copping out for a more mainstream sound that would produce more radio play, which labels highly pressure artists to do, he stuck with his highly unique sound. Instead of producing a catchy pop piece of trash that would have lasted a few weeks, he produced an intense, raw, chilling, and dark album that once again takes the listener through his nightmare and dreams. And for those who were disappointed in the album, it was probably because of the lack of mainstreams hits and the fact that the album was too raw, powerful, and….. good for them to handle.

Spin.com ranked it the number 5 most important album of 2010. The next week Girl Talk (Gregg Gillis) released his newest mashup album All Day. It was released in a one, continuous, 71- minute track. He sampled over 100 songs seamlessly and, once again, lived up to expectations. November 22, Kanye West released his My Dark Twisted Fantasy, probably the most anticipated albums of the year. In short, of the fourteen songs, only two of them are pretty good, and the rest are amazing and more than make up for the weaker two. Mr. West holds nothing back on his masterpiece, and his ego certainly carries the album from track to track, giving it a human feel while still being more deep than just one man’s ego. The album is highlighted by star feature guests such as Kid Cudi, Jay-Z, Rick Ross, and Nicki Minaj. Two songs released for free, G.O.O.D. Friday and Christine Dior Denim Flow should have been on the album, but were released for free and are available online. Spin.com rated Kanye’s newest work as the #1 most important album of 2010, definitely a must buy.

Classy Christmas Songs and Singers David Taiclet, ’11 Layout Editor

Christmas music is one of the biggest parts of the Christmas tradition. Every great singer has recorded a Christmas song. Paul McCartney, Mariah Carey, The Beach Boys, Frank Sinatra, Tom Petty, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Elvis Presley, and of course, the Glee Cast. All these singers/ groups have recorded a Christmas song. This is quite a heavy list of great singers. One of the most underrated Christmas albums, however, is one by Michael Buble. He is an incredible singer and shows this on every song on this album. It is

called Let It Snow and is only 5 songs long.

They are all cover songs, but each song has Buble’s added touch to it. Before downloading Michael Buble’s Let It Snow album I did not have any of his songs. I heard him perform “Haven’t Met You Yet” on SNL and liked the song, but not enough to go download it. A friend showed me this CD, and I instantly bought every song.

These songs are truly a m a z i n g . I recommend all of you to, if not buy, at least listen to the album.

iTunes Top 10 1. Grenade

Bruno Mars 2. Firework

Katy Perry 3. 6 Foot 7 Foot

Lil Wayne 4. The Time (Dirty Bit)

Black Eyed Peas 5. What’s My Name

Rihanna & Drake 6. We R Who We R

Ke$ha 7. Black and Yellow

Wiz Khalifa 8. Raise Your Glass

P!nk 9. That’s All She Wrote

T.I. ft. Eminem 10. Bottoms Up

Trey Songz Top 10 Christmas Songs 1. The Christmas Song

Nat King Cole 2. I’ll Be Home for Christmas

Michael Bublé 3. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Frank Sinatra 4. Silent Night

Straight No Chaser 5. All I Want For Christmas Is You

Mariah Carey 6. God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman/We Three Kings

Barenaked Ladies 7. Happy Christmas (War Is Over)

John Lennon 8. Bizarre Christmas Incident

Ben Folds 9. Santa Clause Is Coming to Town

Bruce Springsteen 10. Wonderful Christmastime

Paul McCartney - The Record Editors

Technology The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

It’s a Wonderful Life Zach Weiss, ’11

5 Video Games You Want Under Your Tree

Weekly Editorial Writer

Trevor Jin, ’12

Entertainment Writer

It’s a Wonderful Life is the best Christmas movie ever. Many people hold this opinion, but I disagree, and not because it’s bad. It’s just not a Christmas movie. I think I should start out by saying that I love this movie. It is one of the greatest films ever made. But it is not a Christmas movie. It’s a Wonderful Life is on TV so much that I don’t think I need to remind anyone much of the movie doesn’t take place around Christmastime. Christmas doesn’t even happen in the movie.

Christmas isn’t important to the overall plotline. This movie could have taken place at Thanksgiving, or the Baileys could have just had a party to celebrate all their hard work for the town of Bedford Falls, and the story wouldn’t have been all that different. Someone might object that George Bailey’s constant selfless giving and the willingness of all his friends to give back might embody the Christmas spirit, but these are all themes director Frank Capra presents in all of his movies, whatever time of the year they take place. If You Can’t Take It with You, another Capra classic, took place around Christmas it would meet all of the same criteria. Like complementary angles, Christmas and It’s a Wonderful Life go well together, but each is more than capable of standing on its own. do not. Due to Microsoft being Microsoft, there’s no doubt that Kinect will absolutely dominate the holiday markets. If not for yourself, is there no truly better family gift than one that everyone in the family can play?

Monday, December 20, 2010 Volume 41, Issue 13

1. Call of Duty: Black Ops Of course the juggernaut (or nog) of the modern gaming systems provides yet another game that everyone can enjoy.

The customization is better than ever, and a setting in the Vietnam War to boot. Zombies mode is the greatest coop experience ever and there are so many different things to play to keep you going. You may be frustrated when an explosive RC car blows you up, but there’s always a horde of attack dogs you can release to make all the pain go away. Overall, it is simply just the surprising dominator of the holiday season. Get it if you haven’t already.

Even out for the Wii, who wouldn’t want this stocking stuffer?

2. Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood A game that’s not getting nearly as much attention as Call of Duty or Halo, Brotherhood is slowly turning heads.

Everyone’s at least heard of the series, already having released two major games for the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3, but unfortunately the incredible acrobatics and bloodlust of your character was only bound to mindless guards that don’t know the difference between a monk and an assassin with a sword. There are two major multiplayer game modes, Manhunt and Alliance. In Manhunt there are four “hunters” and four “prey” running away. Avoid being assassinated in order to win, and then switch sides. In Alliance, there are three teams of two. It is a “triangle of death” where each team is trying to kill team that isn’t chasing them. This game is a more than solid break from the plethora of shooter games you’ve been playing for so long.

3. Halo: Reach Speaking of no more shooters, Halo: Reach came out in flying colors as a replacement to the infamous Modern Warfare 2. Unfortunately, it does get

pretty boring with nothing to unlock such as in Call of Duty, but only set classes with set items and weapons.

That’s no fun! Apparently Bungie thought so in this swan song that is fun for almost a month, maybe. If you’re a fan of Halo even remotely I highly recommend getting it because it’s not like you’ll be getting to play barely at all while at Priory, so let’s put into perspective. At a school not called Priory it wouldn’t last too long. However at Priory, it lasts for about 3-5 times longer! Yet another victory for homework!

4. Rock Band 3 At this point everyone’s tried the Rock Band series in one way or another. The game’s maker, Harmonix, is perhaps the most innovative video game company I’ve seen in a long time. They made the original Guitar Hero, the original Rock Band, and now are implementing a keyboard into the regular vocals, guitar, bass, and drum band format. I’m sure it’ll be fun, but I think we can all agree that music games have significantly lost the awesomeness that they once had. In the end, it really is the exact same thing with different songs, but we make ourselves believe otherwise. However if you do genuinely enjoy it, talk about the perfect gift. The Guitar Hero series truly has nothing to compete this year. My only question is, what could possibly be next after the keyboard? Vuvuzela?

5. Kinect The Xbox 360 Kinect, oh how so strange you are. You advertise everywhere, you show everyone how cool you are with your camera capabilities. In my opinion, I just can’t get it out of my mind how it is a Nintendo Wii without the controller.

Plus, there’s no doubt most of us at most of the time play video games strictly to relax. However, there’s no doubt that there’s a ton of potential with it. Who doesn’t want to dance to Michael Jackson’s beats, or play with imaginary dogs whilst ignoring your real dog, or even kicking imaginary balls that do not resist on your foot? Honestly, I

Technology

Monday, December 20, 2010 Volume 41, Issue 13

The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Top 5 Christmas Gadgets Luc Bettaieb, ’12 Technology Writer

This and likely every Christmas, we, as Mrs. Schulz would say, “Children of the 21st century”, are naturally inclined to fill up our respective lists with a myriad of different gizmos and gadgets. However, this task, although a seemingly simple one, can often prove to be a very difficult ordeal. Fortunately for you, I have come up with a solution.

After hours of careful and dedicated research, I have deduced for you a list, a list that will prove to aid you dearly in the selection of your Christmas gadgetry. I give you the long awaited, Top Five Christmas Gadgets (Disclaimer: While these gadgets may or may not be the top five most desired, they certainly are, or at least should be, up there.)

5. a-JAYS While these headphones may be small (well of course they are, they’re earbuds) they certainly pack a punch. There are three different models of these earbuds conveniently named the a-JAYS One, Two, and Three. Thanks to top-of-theline Swedish ingenuity, these headphones can deliver a crystal clear sound, even bass, while still maintaining the convenient size of earbuds.

In addition to their great quality, they also sport a flattened cable which the manufacturers claim to defeat, as Jonathan Dierdorf once said, “that little monster that lives in your pocket and tangles up your headphones.” These babies will cost you from around $40.00 to $60.00, depending on the model you get.

4. HP Envy 17 First off, before I talk about this godlike laptop, I would like to address a discrepancy. Many people believe me to be a ‘mac person’ and totally bias

towards them. This is not the case. I have learned, after several years, that it honestly doesn’t matter what kind of operating system you run (eg. Windows/ Mac), all that matters is the hardware that runs it, which this laptop most certainly has. Boasting gaming-quality specs with other features such as an HD webcam and a backlit keyboard, without getting too much into the nitty-gritty, this laptop blows away much of the competition.

At a price of around $1300.00, this laptop is well worth it for what you get. (Also, for those techies out there, the specs are: Intel Core i5 Dual Core 2.53GHz (boosts to 2.8) up to an i7 Quad Core 1.86GHz (boosts to 3.2) processor, 1GB ATI Mobility Radeon HD 5850 GPU, 6/8GB of DDR3 RAM, and a variety of hard drive choices.)

3. Xbox 360 S (New Version) This new version of the Xbox 360 is truly the best yet. With it’s new design, 2.4 GHz 802.11 b/g/n built in WiFi, and more convenient hard drive placement the new Xbox 360 truly tops all of the previous models by far. In addition to the main new features, the new Xbox sports an additional five USB ports for peripherals such as the new Kinect sensor bar. (Which I personally, do not recommend. Unless, of course, you’re into Wii games.) So, in order to keep the stereotypical tradition of Priory being the school with the best Call Of Duty players, but this product.

Or don’t.

(Especially if you already have a functioning Xbox) The 250 GB version will cost you around $299.99, while the 4 GB one will run you around $199.99.

2. HTC Evo 4G If you have Sprint, buy this phone. It’s as simple as that. Some have called this phone, the ‘iPhone killer’. I’ve chosen a better name for it, the ‘iPhone obliterator’. With it’s 4.3 inch WVGA multi-touch screen, 8 megapixel camera main camera, 1.3 megapixel front facing camera, 1.0 GHz Snapdragon processor,

and so many other features I could go on all day, this phone truly earns the title I’ve bestowed upon it. The Evo also runs the state of the art Android operating system. If you’re not familiar with Android, you should get to know it.

Completely open source, customizable, a n d with an a p p database to rival Apple’s, Android, in my opinion, totally blows a w a y Apple’s i O S .

With a n e w two year contract a n d $ 1 0 0 mail-in rebate, t h i s tank of a phone will cost around $199.99. Oh, did I not mention it also uses Sprint’s new 4G network?

That’s an average speed of 375 KB/s to 750 KB/s (sometimes faster than my WiFi at home).

1. “Privates” TSA-Proof Underwear Now I know what you may be thinking, “Hey this isn’t some fancy high-tech gadget! This is a pair of underwear!”

Well, if you’re like me and don’t really want to run the risk of some random person working for TSA to have a look at your privates, this pair of underwear is a definite must. Developed by clothing manufacturer, Betabrand, these boxers will effectively block out any kind of scanning going on if you’re one of the ‘lucky few’ who get called aside for additional screening. As these briefs are still in the ‘Alpha’ stage, they are not for sale, but, if you have the courage (and $100.00 for that matter), you may be eligible to join the elite Privates Alpha Group. Regardless of who’s in the Alpha group or who isn’t, they surely are a brave bunch of people.

Sports The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Basketball Falls To 3-4 After Another Tough Loss

Monday, December 20, 2010 Volume 41, Issue 13

BCS Bowl Preview Sam Sagartz, ’11 Content Editor

David Taiclet, ’11 Layout Editor

Priory basketball started out the season strong by finishing third in the pre-season Valley Park tournament. The regular season start out with a tough game against Clayton and was followed by a game against St. Pius X. The Rebels looked to avenge their loss to St. Pius last year. The Rebels had a slow start only scoring 2 points in the first quarter, but came on as the game went along. The Rebels outscored St. Pius by 7 in the fourth quarter. This was, however, four less than what Priory needed to force overtime. The Rebels lost 54-50 and look forward to possibly playing them again in the Affton Christmas Tournament. The Rebels were led by David Taiclet, Matt Keating, and Mark Mannino who all scored in double digits.

Keating also recorded 11 rebounds giving him a double-double for the night. The Rebels then traveled to Affton, again trying to avenge a loss last year. This time the Rebels were successful.

Led by Ryan Token, Mark Mannino, and tough, stingy defense, the Rebels won 44-35. The Rebels held Affton to only 35 points on 25% shooting on the night. It did not come without a price, however. Senior Captain Matt Keating got injured early. He gutted it out for the rest of the game, but he will miss over a week a games, including the next game against a good St. Mary’s team.

Missing the presence of both Jack Taiclet and Matt Keating, the Rebels knew they had a tough task ahead playing St. Mary’s. The Rebels were competing hard the whole game.

The defense was outstanding at times, then lacking at others.

St. Mary’s, however, shot lights out, shooting over 52% from behind the arc. Holding a team to 55 points when they shoot as well as St. Mary’s did made for a pretty good defensive night.

Jon Gower filled in extremely well for the injured Matt Keating, however, it is hard to fill the shoes of a man who scores over 9 points and grabs 14 rebounds a game. The offensive presence of Jack Taiclet was also missed as the Rebels could not get to the basket all night. Ryan Token came out firing scoring Priory’s first 7 points. Mark Mannino had his usual great game offensively, he also had a disgusting swat on a kid who thought it was a good idea to throw up a shot right in front of him. David Taiclet, Seve, and Andrew Rhodes had the jobs of locking down St. Mary’s number 1 and 2 guys. We all look forward to the Christmas tournament and the return of Jack and Matt as we head into ABC League play.

BCS National Championship Game: #1 Auburn vs. #2 Oregon Expect one of the highest scoring games in BCS history as two unstoppable offenses face off in Arizona. Heisman Trophy winner Cam Newton will lead Auburn against Oregon and the Ducks’ stellar running back LaMichael James, but I expect the game will be determined by whoever is able to step up on defense, particularly in the fourth quarter.

Auburn 38 – Oregon 35 Rose Bowl: #3 TCU vs. #5 Wisconsin Both the Badgers and the Horned Frogs put up impressive numbers on both sides of the ball this season.

Wisconsin will make its first appearance in Pasadena in 11 years while TCU will be the first non-AQ team to play in the Rose Bowl. Although TCU’s defense was very impressive this season, Wisconsin’s running game will be too much to handle and J.J. Watt will lead the Badger’s defense to victory in Pasadena.

Wisconsin 27 – TCU 20 Fiesta Bowl: #7 Oklahoma vs. Connecticut It’s obvious that Oklahoma is the favorite in this game.

Nevertheless, the Sooners have everything to lose as they battle the Huskies in Arizona this January. Connecticut will come out strong, but the difference in talent between the two teams will show as Oklahoma battles back in the second half for a victory.

Oklahoma 31 – Connecticut 17 Orange Bowl: #4 Stanford vs. #13 Virginia Tech After a rough start, Virginia Tech has won 11 games in a row and will be a force to reckon with for the 4th ranked Cardinals. However, I believe Andrew Luck will show why he is the top pure QB in the country as he picks apart the Hokies’ defense in Miami. Tyrod Taylor will struggle with turnovers and Stanford will win its first BCS game.

Stanford 35 – Virginia Tech 23 Sugar Bowl: #6 Ohio State vs. #8 Arkansas Ohio State will try to avoid a 10th straight loss in a bowl game to an SEC team in New Orleans this January as the Razorbacks make their first ever BCS appearance. Although many analysts think that this game will be determined by the performance of the two star quarterbacks, I believe the Buckeye’s RB Dan Herron will be the difference maker in this game as Pryor struggles and Mallett shines. Mallett will have a great game but his team will give up a few costly turnovers to the 3rd ranked OSU defense.

Ohio State 30 – Arkansas 24

Monday, December 20, 2010 Volume 41, Issue 13

Sports The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Varsity Wrestling Starts Season Strong Van Thomas, ’12 Sports Writer

The Wrestling Rebels have had a busy first half of the season that culminates in the Brentwood tournament this Saturday.

Coincidentally the wrestling team's season also began at Brentwood where we had a duel meet to kick off the season. The team and coaches had high expectations coming into the dual due to the fact that we defeated Brentwood last year for the first time in years, and we were eager to get our first match, and the jitters that come with it, out of the way. With pins from juniors Van Thomas, Zach Behnen, and Nicky Sarai, and wins from juniors James Merenda, Zach Lavalle, sophmore Charlie Welsh, and freshman Drew Callahan the Rebels managed to defeat the Eagles 38-33

although we gave up 12 points due to not having a full line-up. Senior captain Sean Sigillito was dominating his match before he was rolled and caught on his back in the second. After a solid performance at Brentwood we went into the Burroughs tournament the same weekend ready to do some damage. We did better than we have in recent history placing 3rd out of the eight schools that attend. This placement was anchored by placers Van Thomas (1st), Sean Sigillito (2nd), Zach Lavalle (2nd), Derrick Swaney (2nd), Khaliq Snow (3rd), Francis Cassidy (3rd), James Merenda (4th), and Charlie Welsh (4th). Last Friday we squared off against Westminister and Trinity in a tri-dual at home. For the first time since I have been on the team and quite possibly in Priory wrestling history we had fans that weren't parents. Pumped up by the great turnout the Rebels went out against

Trinity first, and took a dominating 60-10 victory with the only two losses being to returning state placers, who despite the odds juniors Nick Russon and Zach Lavalle had great matches against. Next we wrestled the Westminister Wildcats and lost a close 41-30 duel. The points lost from having a lineup that isn't completely full turned out to be too large of a hindrance although several members of the team had great matches. Notably junior captain James Merenda took a close victory and junior Nicky Sarai lost an incredibly close match 4-3. Juniors Zach Lavalle, Zach Behnen, and Nick Russon posted up dominating pin victories as well. Hopefully there will be some fans at the Brentwood tournament which goes from 9 AM until around 8PM at Brentwood high school to come see the wrestling team continue it's success.

Loving the Heat Thomas Burton, ’13 Sports Writer

Lebron James made a great decision going to the Miami Heat for many reasons. First of all, anyone who thinks LeBron was being selfish needs to actually look at the details. Lebron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh all took less money than to play together. Lebron signed for $15 million less than he could have, while D-Wade signed for $18 million less than the $125 million maximum even though the Heat were his team. It is incomprehensible how you could be called selfish just for your desire to win championships. After all, isn’t winning every player’s goal?

And for those of you who say that Lebron should stay loyal to Cleveland, blah blah blah. He was born in Akron, not Cleveland. And frankly, Cleveland

sucks. How would you feel if you’re a mega-talent coming out of high school, ready to explore the world, but you get drafted by… Cleveland. A town close to his home, but in my opinion, one of the most boring cities in the world. I mean, really, go to Cleveland. There is nothing to do there, and it’s nowhere close to the big market city that Lebron needs.

Lebron’s big market personality was very apparent in the way he decided to unveil his decision to the public: a one hour, ESPN primetime special.

Personally, I loved it. It was great television, and it raised millions of dollars for a great cause. Sure, he could have simply kept his decision much more secretive, but where’s the fun in that? The Miami Heat will be a dynasty.

They have two of the top three players in the NBA, and three of the top 10. The chemistry simply isn’t there right now,

and this is partially due to a lack of coaching. Eric Spoelstra, despite what some Heat players say, is simply not a good NBA coach. It is my belief that if Pat Riley takes over for Spoelstra, the team will take off. Even without Riley, this team will contend for a Championship. The team is heating up as of late (pun completely intended), with four straight wins. With Lebron as a de-facto point guard, D-Wade on the wing, and Bosh down low, no one can match up with Miami. James Jones is shooting the lights out, and the perimeter shooting should only improve with the return of Mike Miller around Christmas. The Heat’s only real weakness is rebounding, and that should be aided with the signing of Eric Dampier. So in conclusion, the Heat are a serious title contender, and easily the most fun team to watch. Go Heat!

Monday, December 20, 2010 Volume 41, Issue 13

The Record The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Top 10 Christmas Gifts for $30 Charlie Roseborough, ’11 Entertainment Writer

As I’m sure you are all aware it’s that time again. That wonderful time of the year when you have to empty your bank account for those you love, or for those you don’t want to leave you. However, to help you all out this year I have decided to compile a list so that you can get the most bang for your buck.

The following are the top 10 gifts you can buy for $30 1) Super Smash Bros. Melee for the gamecube (The gift that keeps on giving) 2) 10 packs of Pokemon cards (Something no one ever outgrows) 3) Andrew Erker’s car 4) A pack of pens at The Priory bookstore

7 Things NOT to Give a Girl for Christmas Colin Bruns, ’11

Entertainment Writer

For all of you slackers who have yet to buy the lady/ ladies in your life presents here are are few things that you should stay away from while shopping.

1. Clothes No matter what you think women clothing is equally confusing as women themselves, and you will get the size wrong. If you buy clothes that are to big she thinks (because she is a girl) that you are telling her she is fat. If you buy something to small (because she is a girl) she will find some way to spin it that ends up with you calling her fat. Stay away from clothes.

2. Electronics When you are shopping stay away from electronics. They are called iPod, iPhone, iTouch & iPad for a reason because when guys look at them they say iWant that.

Girls don't have the same infatuation with electronics as men

5)25 packs of Strawberry Jello (That’s over 4 gallons of Jello. I mean really, think of the possibilities.)

6) A certificate for a hug from Charlie Rosebrough (That’s redeemable anytime) 7) 75 red bricks (That’s what my parents usually get me, but it’s alright soon I’ll have enough to build a shed and then I get to stop sleeping in the garage.)

8) Dora the Explorer-Dora’s Ultimate Adventure Collection (The three disk special set of course, and no I didn’t know that off the top of my head…)

9) A shake weight (But that’s only if you buy now. In fact you could probably throw an instructional DVD and sweat towel in for no extra charge.)

10) 8.357 sticks of deodorant (Nothing says I love you like go take a bath you smell like manure) Well I hope this list has helped you pick out that perfect gift for family, friends, or significant other. And before you go, if you happen to not have family, friends, or a significant other feel free to purchase a gift for myself or Mr. Finan. We’d be eternally grateful. Merry Christmas, and good luck! do so unless you want to see an iHateyou face on Christmas I'd stay away from electronics.

3. Stuffed Animals Sure they are cute, but don't fall into this trap. You don't want to give ladies excuses to hug other things on cold nights. Plus that is typical middle school activity.

4. Promise Ring Jewelry is okay if you are halfway serious about the girl, but anything indicating further or long term commitment; like the word promise, should be avoided at all cost.

5. Picture of Yourself Why? Because it isn't funny anymore.

6. Gift Certificates Highly impersonal, it is just asking for your girl to scream at you for not caring enough about her.

7. Sports Tickets (see electronics). You know it is you who wants them and do not deny it. Plus you are wahayhayhay better off going to a game with your buds.

Hopefully this helps a little with the gift shopping. Get something you know she'll like and is simple. Or you could make it easy and just break up with her right before all the major holidays ie. Christmas, b- days etc. Then get back together when they are over. Just kidding! Merry Christmas, Colin Bruns

Ryan and Jack’s Trip to Texas “Ryan is a teacher, cousin, and most important, friend”- Jack Ciapciak

THE RECORD - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School 500 S. Mason Road, Creve Coeur, MO 63141 314.434.3690 ext. 221 theprioryrecord@gmail.com Editor in Chief: Kevin H. Hess, ’11 Layout Editor: David Taiclet, ’11 Content Editors: Jon Gower, ’11 & Sam Sagartz, ’11 Moderator: Matthew L. Barrett