Friday, January 14, 2011

Friday, January 14, 2011

The Record The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School since 1960

Volume 41, Issue 15

Snow Day!!!???

A group of Priory students did not need to be at home all day to enjoy the plentiful snow

Sean Sigillito, ’11

Entertainment Writer As winter weather hits the St. Louis Priory School, the students take to the slopes. After having shown every other school in Missouri who is truly most manly and forgoing a snow-day on Tuesday, we just could not keep our inner children chained up forever.

Therefore, some of the seniors chose to utilize their free periods wisely and venture into the Priory backcountry.

The Priory Sledding Club was formed when Doug Brooking, Kyle Hill, and myself decided to lighten our mood by getting soaking wet and unnecessarily cold on Tuesday

afternoon. Our mountain of choice was the steep, yet short blue square run by the Abbey Church facing Mason Rd. We had our share of wipe-outs, but continued to perfect our techniques in order to go farther than many thought humanly possible. Soon, however, the bell for class rang, ending our fun for the day.

Our story continues Wednesday, with the addition of a new member: Joey Heitz! When fourth period rolled around, we were all anticipating a few more members to join our good time, but sadly the event was BYOS (Bring your own sled.) Outfitted in snow pants and ski goggles we headed out, with our own personal photographer, David Taiclet. We had a solid period and a half of joyous ecstasy

zipping to-and-fro across the Priory campus on our trusty sleds. We hope to expand our club on Friday, and on the lack of snow-days to come, with the addition of some more members and guest appearances from some of the faculty!

We’re blessed at Priory to have so many options when it comes to shredding some sick pow(der.)

Whether one is gliding towards the pond on the deep bowl in the center of campus, or speeding towards an airy demise behind the tennis courts, one is guaranteed an enjoyable time. As we all have our good, clean fun out sledding to our hearts’ content, remember to stay safe, stay classy, get to class on time, and always stay in dress code! See you on the slopes! See more pics on page 5

Editorials The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Friday, January 14, 2011 Volume 41, Issue 15

The Record Staff Editor in Chief:

Kevin Hess ’11

Layout Editor:

David Taiclet, ’11

Content Editors:

Grinds My Gears

Jon Gower, ’11 Sam Sagartz, ’11

Mr. Jacob Martin, ’11 Weekly Editorial Writer

Gentlemen, let’s begin. I’m just going to delve right in here this week since I’ve had to deal Faculty Moderator: with this one all day. I’m going to waste no

Mr. Matthew L. Barrett time getting to what this week’s topic is. The delving has begun. Ready. Set. Delve. You In this issue... know what really grinds my gears?

Kevin Hess, ’11 Notification sounds.

Mr. Jacob Martin, ’11 Why do I have to

Zach Weiss, ’11 hear a beep every

Jon Gower, ’11 time anyone does

Luke Slabaugh ’12 anything ever?

Or

Tommy Yoon ’12 worse, why do people

Peter Cogan ’13 make their own

Spencer Wright, ’14 notification sounds?

Aris Sevastianos ’15 Why did that

freshman in the

bathroom have to tell me he was in the bathroom?

I personally blame the low self-esteem of The Record Disclaimer today’s population, The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory and by self-esteem I School in St. Louis, Missouri. It quite obviously mean is produced by student editors/ No staff members. Its purpose is attention span. threefold: to inform students of one can pay attention events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, anymore.

I myself national, and international forgot to write this article until like ten minutes issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, ago. Well, several days ago now. Years if I’m photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts looking back on this later in life. The point is, contributions from all members o f t h e P r i o r y c o m m u n i t y , I’ve already forgotten what my point was. But including students, faculty, and this beeping and buzzing and the voices of alumni.

The Record will not children has got to stop (unless it’s telling you publish content considered that your food is ready). I don’t need to hear legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: about your text message, hypothetical person libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, I’m now chastising. Instant message windows or material disruption of the are even worse. It’s instant. It shouldn’t need educational process. Student e d i t o r s a p p l y p r o f e s s i o n a l to tell me I received a message. I’m in that standards to the production of That window is open and I am the newspaper and are solely window. responsible for all content, both looking into it; I expect things to appear in explicit and implicit.

Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

there instantly, that is the point of an instant message. It is instant. Instant is in the definition (just before “messenger”). And then unintelligent people in classrooms make remarks like “THAT YOUR CELL PHONE?” and I become so annoyed that I don’t even distinguish between remarks and questions.

Gentlemen, silence your things or that will happen. No one finds it or those comments funny. If you make those comments, you are most likely going to die alone. It doesn’t even matter if you stop now, once you say that you secrete this chemical that tells people to avoid you forever.

That statement is based purely on speculation, of course, but it’s my speculation so it counts more than regular speculation.

This article originally had a point, but that point has long been lost in my rant of anguish.

It was probably something like, “Notification noises are unnecessary, annoying, and insulting to people with attention spans or who can feel cell phone vibrations or who can see things, but it is fun when they make that popping sound like in the facebook chat window; I never use facebook chat, so that doesn’t really affect me too often, but I still like that particular sound.

I don’t really care for loud music as ringtones, though, just on a side note.” I suppose we’ll never actually know the true meaning of this particular article, though.

The Weekly Update

Friday, January 14, 2011 Volume 41, Issue 15

The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory High School

Cheers and Jeers Luke Slabaugh, ’12 Editorial Writer

1. Jeers to the Snow Day that was not a Snow Day. What happened, Priory? Does it surprise you that this is the lowest attendance you've had since the swine flu pandemic? What if one of your students slides a hair too far whilst driving on 141 (dubbed Fun Forty-One because of it's extra slick conditions this season)? Bad move.

said so far in the opening two episodes appears like it's been made fresh out of a Hollywood script. He even has taken advice from last year's Bachelorette, the fair Ali Fedotowsky and her too-good-to-be-true hubby, Roberto, on who to eliminate.

Womack seems destined to fail twice. But

Weekly Calendar Friday, 1/14/2011 •4:00pm Freshman Bball vs.

Prin •5:30 JV Bball vs. Prin •7:00 V Bball vs. Prin •9:45 Hockey vs. WCA @ Affton

then again, it is The Bachelor.

Saturday, 1/15/2011 • TBA JV Wrestling •9:30 Hockey vs. MICDS @ Affton

2. On that note, a cheer of great magnitude is due to Mr. Joseph Gleich for a display of athletic prowess on Tuesday afternoon. The Gleich himself was spotted sprinting outside in the freezing weather from the cafeteria to the high school. While several years ago, one might have been tempted to point and jeer "You did this to yourself!", the Varsity Cross Country coach merits great kudos for using his wheels from portal to portal. He's still got it.

Monday, 1/17/2011

3. Cheers to the #2 seed in the NFC, "Da" Chicago Bears. They may be able to prove that the NFC West is still a joke. It is, after all. The Bears are searching for their first Super Bowl appearance since Rex Grossman was their starting QB. Those were the days.

Tuesday, 1/18/2011 • 9:00 Hockey vs. Ladue @ Queeny • 4:00 V Wrestling vs. DeSmet

Weekly Lunches Monday, 1/17 NO SCHOOL Tuesday, 1/18 Roast Beef w/ Mashed Potatoes Wednesday, 1/19

Wednesday, 1/19/2011 • 4:00 C Bball @ Whitfield • 5:30 JV Bball @ Whitfield • 7:00 V Bball @ Whitfield

Bowl of Chili Thursday, 1/20 Meatloaf w/ gravy 4. Jeers to this year's bachelor on ABC's "The Bachelor," Mr. Brad Womack. The 38 yearold entrepreneur has begun his second quest for love after turning down two finalists a few years back. The dude has come fresh out of intensive therapy and it shows. Everything

Friday, 1/21 Pasta con Broccoli

Thursday, 1/20/2011 • TBA V Wrestling @ Windsor

Puzzles

Friday, January 14, 2011 Volume 41, Issue 15

The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Crossword Puzzle Across 1. Clique 6. Droop 9. Snake 12. Delete 13. Affirm 15. Scheme 17. Recess 18. Juncture 20. Cheapness 21. Doctor 22. Lyric poem 23. Boundary 26. Made 27. Launch platform 28. Without qualification 30. Ballet step 32. Assumed name 33. Part of a church 36. Enumerate 40. Crude 41. Illuminated 42. Heading 43. Note 44. Singing voice 45. Pertaining to birds 46. Seize suddenly

48. Genitor 50. Root vegetable 53. Country, initially 55. Ripped 56. Be indebted to 57. Pertain 60. Fishing pole 63. Valiance 65. Proverb 67. Region 68. Compress 69. Writing style 70. Condensation 71. Seed of the cereal grass 72. Go in

Sudokus EASY

HARD

Cryptogram

- DJ Pauly D

Friday, January 14, 2011 Volume 41, Issue 15

Lorem Ipsum Zach Weiss, ’11

Weekly Editorial Writer

The results will be made known on Saturday. The southern part of Sudan is holding a referendum to decide whether or not it should secede from the north. The large African country has already been torn apart by a long and bloody civil war, with the majority Muslim North often committing atrocities against the Christian South.

Much of the South is already controlled by rebels, and in some ways a successful referendum would legitimize the region’s de facto independence.

A 60% voter turnout is necessary for the referendum to be valid, and this was achieved on Wednesday.

Sudanese President Omar alBashir has stated that he will respect the South’s decision, but he later qualified this by saying, "The

The Forum The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory High School

stability of the south is very important to us because any instability in the south will have an impact on the north. If there is a war in your neighbor’s house, you will not be at peace. The south suffers from many problems. It's been at war since 1959. The south does not have the ability to provide for its citizens or create a state or authority.”

For social commentators like Gustavo Sanchez, whose senior thesis on Darfur has made him an expert on Sudanese affairs, this last statement is indicative of Khartoum’s unwillingness to actually grant the South independence. Roughly 80% of the country’s oil reserves, which have been instrumental in its economic growth, lie in the South. Since the North has also agreed to take on most of Sudan’s staggering $380 billion debt, an independent South may make difficult it difficult to repay. Other problems arise with how the South is to be governed.

South Sudan has little political or economic infrastructure, since

many of its residents are nomads.

Already in control, the rebels have little to gain from free elections that could potentially unseat them.

While Western nations interested in the country’s oil might provide capital, they could just as easily exploit the South Sudanese.

However, none of these difficulties should stop South Sudan’s bid for independence.

Khartoum has an abysmal human rights record, both in the South and in Darfur, and independence would give the South Sudanese a chance at freedom that they would have never gotten under Northern rule. The international community will doubtless have to work to ensure that the transfer of power foes smoothly, but it would be worth it.

A peaceful secession would stabilize North Africa and be a beacon of hope for a strife-torn region.

Entertainment The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

This Day in History Andrew Cammon, ’ Editorial Writer

On this day in history, in 1934, more reports came in from Loch Ness about alleged sightings of a giant sea monster.

Since the 1950s, this "legendary" monster has been affectionately referred to as “Nessie.”

The first documentation of a monster in Loch Ness appears in the Life of St. Columba. When St. Columba was in the land of the Picts, he had to cross the river Nesa. Before he did so, he noticed people burying a body. Upon inquiry, he learned that this man had been swimming in the river when he was attacked and bitten severely by a sea monster. Upon hearing this, St. Columba ordered one of his followers to swim across the river and bring back a boat from the other side. While the man was swimming across, the sea monster suddenly rose from the depths and pursued the man. St. Columba, showing no signs of distress, formed the sign of the cross in the air and uttered the words, “Thou shalt go no further, nor touch the man; go back with all speed.” Upon hearing the voice of the saint, the monster fled, terrified. The comrade returned with the boat safely, and the Picts, having witnessed this great miracle, converted to Christianity. This experience with the saint supposedly changed the monster’s ways; the creature does not attack humans anymore.

One of the most iconic pieces of evidence to Nessie’s existence is what is know as the “Surgeon’s Photograph.” This picture portrayed the monster’s head and neck rising from the water. Skepticism quickly arose around the photograph, and in 1999 the truth was revealed; the picture was essentially of a toy submarine with a sculpted head attached. Very many sightings have been reported over the years, and pictures have been circulated supposedly containing the monster. It should also be noted that Loch Ness is famous for its very strong whiskey.

That fact may or may not pertain to the alleged monster sightings.

On the basis of a photograph depicting a large fin and body (supposedly the monster’s), Sir Peter Scott of Britain announced in 1975 that the scientific name for the monster would be Nesseteras rhombopterx (Greek for "The Ness monster with diamond-shaped fin). This enabled Nessie to be added to a British register of officially protected wildlife. So whether the monster exists or not, it is protected by British law.

Whether or not the monster actually exists is entirely your own opinion. Either way, it is an illusion, like Santa Claus is for children, that is more fun to keep alive.

Friday, January 14, 2011 Volume 41, Issue 15

Auburn: The Most Hated Champion Jack O’Brien, ’12 Opinions Writer

The Auburn Tigers won the BCS National Championship Monday night, beating the Oregon Ducks 22-19. However, even in light of placing Oregon as the underdog in the game, America nonetheless wanted, nay CRAVED, Oregon to win this game. Oregon had a whopping 81% popularity advantage over what is clearly a detested Auburn team. Among other things, namely Auburn being the pompous team that no one can like, the main factors that set Auburn into the bottom of the national public opinion are two people: Cam (“Scam”, as I will from now on call him) Newton, and Nick Fairley. I'd prefer to begin with the latter, Nick Fairley. As a living human person, I have a hard time believing that Mr. Fairley has a soul. The reputation of being the dirtiest player to have played college football fits him quite well. Whether it be face-masks after plays, unnecessary roughness whenever possible, or the alleged CLEATING of an Arkansas player, he has no boundaries. The truth is, Nick Fairley is merely an exceptionally dirty player on the dirtiest defense in America. Does anyone remember the incident where Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes attempted to gouge the eyes of a Georgia running back? Yep, that's basically Auburn, but they're just weaselly enough to get away with it.

On the other side of the ball, the Scam Newton story simply doesn't add up. He didn't know that his father was trying to elicit money from Mississippi State, where he would have gone if his father had gotten the money he wanted? I don't know about the rest of the continental United States (yes Hawaii and Alaska, you don't count), but I'm pretty sure where I end up going to college will be partly my decision.

Maybe Scam was too busy stealing computers? Which brings me to my next point: Cam Newton stole property, and when confronted by the POLICE, he threw the computer out the window. You know what they say: 'In desperate times, men do desperate things. Lie. Steal. Throw other people's highpriced electronics out of a three-story window.' Why did the NCAA allow a triple felony criminal back in? Not quite sure there. And back to the soliciting money and other valuables from universities: Lord only knows what he received from Auburn. The NCCA better be ready for Reggie Bush controversy 2.0. His name: Cam Newton. All-in-all, Cam Newton belongs in class, not ever allowed to see a field again; Nick Fairly belongs in a mental hospital for the criminally insane; and The Auburn Tigers belong(ed) in the Beef O' Brady's Bowl. The Oregon Ducks deserve the BCS National Championship -A swift apology to the small remnant of the southern Alabamites who still cheer for Auburn, and the Szatkowski family. It’s not you....it’s the disgusting team that represents your fine establishment.

Friday, January 14, 2011 Volume 41, Issue 15

Entertainment The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

NFL Postseason awards Andy Schwartz, ’11 Sports Writer

NFL Regular Season Awards MVP: Tom Brady- The three-time super bowl champion threw 36 touchdowns and only 4 INT’s while leading the Patriots to a 14-2 record.

Comeback Player: Mike Vick- He’s electrifying. He’s explosive. He’s the only legitimate dual-threat quarterback in the NFL. Rookie of the Year: Sam Bradford/ Ndamukong Suh: Bradford had arguably the greatest rookie season of any quarterback ever, but give Suh some credit: he’s already established himself as one of the league’s best.

Coach of the Year: Bill Belichick- Who’s he got on his team this year? Does it matter?

Belichick and Brady are just that good.

Most Overrated Player: Peyton ManningManning threw 4 interceptions in a single game. Not once, but twice. Manning lost as many games as he won for the Colt’s. All those calls and signals he gives at the line of scrimmage are obnoxious. Get your job done Peyton. Please, throw it to someone who is not on the other team.

Most Underrated Player: James HallHall recorded 10.5 sacks and forced 6 fumbles. He is efficient, effective, and one of the league's most dangerous pass rushers.

Most Entertaining to watch: DeSean Jackson/ Mike Vick- Without doubt, the most explosive QB/WR duo in league history.

Least Entertaining: The Saint Louis RamsWhen I am looking to take a nap on a Sunday afternoon, I shuffle through the channels hoping to find a Ram’s game.

JV Basketball solid through 6 Peter Cogan, ’13 Sports Writer

The JV Rebels are 3-3 going into the second week of classes in 2011. We’ve had a tough schedule to start the year playing St. Mary’s, Lutheran South, and Duchesne, all of which have very solid basketball programs.

The story of the season so far has been our game against Duchesne.

After traveling all the way to St. Charles to play them, we struggled early in the game. Down by 13 going into the fourth quarter, we clawed our way back into the game with a high pressure press which caused several steals and some clutch three pointers from David Nogalski and Peter Cogan. Jack Mueller played outstanding underneath and his strength couldn’t be matched by any of the Duchesne big men.

His rebounding and defensive stops were a big part in keeping us in the game. With the score tied and five seconds to go, Duchesne had a free throw to close out the game but they couldn’t convert.

The game went into overtime, but each team continued to make big shots to keep it close.

Helped by great clock management by Coach Ham, the game was extended to four overtimes. Down by two with five seconds left in the fourth overtime, Sam Newman singlehandedly fought through the entire Duchesne defense and made a heavily contested sevenfooter to send the game into the fifth overtime. We quickly took the lead with two layups from Newman and found ourselves up four. Duchesne battled back though, and hit a three to make it a one point game. With Duchesne forced to foul, Peter Cogan hit both of his free throws to put us up by three. After another defensive stop, Duchesne fouled again and Cogan made another free throw to close out the game with a score of 51-47.

Later that week we went to Lutheran South to play our first league game against a talented Lancer team. We were only down by four at halftime but costly errors and cold shooting kept us out of contention and we lost by 12 points.

Next week we will play MICDS and Principia, both at home, where we need wins to keep us at the top of the ABC league.

iTunes Top 10 1. Hold It Against Me

Brittany Spears 2. What the Hell

Avril Lavigne 3. Grenade

Bruno Mars 4. Firework

Katy Perry 5. Tonight (I’m Lovin’ You)

Enrique Iglesias 6. The Time (Dirty Bit)

The Black Eyed Peas 7. Black and Yellow

Wiz Khalifa 8. 6 Foot 7 Foot

Lil Wayne 9. H*A*M*

Kanye West & Jay-Z 10. We R Who We R

Ke$ha

Editor-in-Chief’s Top 10 Songs 1. Right Above It feat Drake

Lil Wayne 2. Lollipop Remix ft Kayne

Lil Wayne 3. Coming Home

Diddy ft Skylar

Grey 4. Help Beatles Remix

Lil Wayne 5. Poppin Bottles

TI 6. Walk it Out Remix

Lil Wayne 7. All Day (Album)

Girl Talk 8. 6 Foot 7 Foot

Lil Wayne 9. Ice Cream Remix

Lil Wayne 10. I Hate College Remix

Sam Adams

Friday, January 14, 2011 Volume 41, Issue 15

The Record The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

NFL Playoffs Predicted Kevin Hess, ’11

Editor in Chief

Last week I went a smooth 2 for 4, but I ended up calling every game pretty close to what happened: I consider it a success. This weeks games are going to be nuts.

Baltimore at Pittsburgh Everyone’s favorite matchup. Might as well flip a coin on this one. Ed Reed will be leading the defense emotionally this week following his brother’s disappearance, and you don’t want to play an inspired Raven’s D. That being said, I think that the Steelers’ extra week of rest compared to the Ravens’ short week will be just enough to turn the tides toward Pittsburgh. Steelers by a touchdown.

Green Bay at Atlanta Another fantastic game. Last time they played it came down to a last second field goal. The better team to me is resoundingly the Green Bay Packers, however, as we all saw in Seattle last weekend, home field advantage is huge.

Strictly because of this I’ll take Atlanta by a field goal. Look for a super close game though.

Seattle at Chicago I think Chicago is not good...at all. Cutler is a bum. Enough said. However, Seattle is horrible... and no longer playing at home. Chicago by 17.

New York Jets at the New England Patriots It doesn’t get better than this. I can guarantee that it will not be another 45-3 game. The Jets have gotten their defense back onto the same page after losing their defensive “quaterback” Brian Lenard. If the Jets can use Revis to nullify Wes Welker and Cromartie can keep from completely getting burned by Branch all night then this game will stay real close. All this being said, Bill Belichick has had a full extra week to coach his team. In case you were wondering, he’s really good...I mean REALLY good at coaching. In fact, he’s almost never wrong. Therefore, the Jets would have to play perfect, controlling the ball and clock with their running game, as well as get lucky to beat the Patriots; but they are one of the few teams who has that potential. As much as I hate to, I must take the Patriots to win this game by over a touchdown; they will not win the Superbowl this year, though.

Review of King’s Speech Trevor Jin, ’12

Entertainment Writer

I have to admit, actually finding this movie was impossible for awhile in America, but it was worth it. There is really nothing bad to say about this movie. At all. Colin Firth hands down is the best actor of all 2010 movies, it’s not even close competition. Mr. Firth plays the character of King George (the current Queen of England’s father) who has just been placed into the kingship because his older brother wanted to marry one of those dirty Americans. There is one problem for the prince, he has a speech impediment.

Another problem? The only form of informing and brightening the spirits of your citizens is via radio speeches.

With some guy named Hitler on the rise, these speeches are something England and all of its numerous colonies at the time needed to hear as the war against fascism begins. We all know the ending to the movie of course but that did not come to my mind once. It was the journey, not the destination, that describes this movie. This is a timeless classic that you will want to see repeatedly. Don’t waste any more time not seeing it.

Review of True Grit The Coen brothers are back with another movie epic creation to sweep us off our feet. Remember “No Country for Old Men”? Seems these guys have got the western genre packed up and mastered. The movie is based off of the book, not the other film with John Wayne, so anyone can go into this movie without any knowledge of the older movie classic. The main character Rooster Cogburn played by 2009’s best actor Jeff Bridges is a completely convincing as a marshal who just wants to shoot. Surprisingly, 14 year old Hailee Seinfeld, her first movie, takes over the show as the narrator and little girl who wants to avenge her daddy. She’s not some cutesy little girl that wants to play tough, she actually is tough and independent, frightfully and annoyingly so. The Coen brothers successfully recreate the Wild West: villains will kill just to kill and the conversations are complicated and dragged out. It really was a culture shock, considering we use three letters to describe us laughing at something. Unfortunately, the movie is not actually that exciting or has the most compelling groundbreaking ending in the world. Because of this, I can’t picture myself seeing it again. I highly recommend seeing it either in theaters or renting it when it comes out on DVD.

THE RECORD - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School 500 S. Mason Road, Creve Coeur, MO 63141 314.434.3690 ext. 221 theprioryrecord@gmail.com Editor in Chief: Kevin H. Hess, ’11 Layout Editor: David J. Taiclet, ’11 Content Editors: Jon P. Gower, ’11, Sam J. Sagartz, ’11 Moderator: Matthew L. Barrett