Issue 5 by Saint Louis Priory School

VOLUME XLV ISSUE 5

ENTERTAINMENT

Interview with Johnnie-O By George Ahlering ’15 Staff Writer

buying bags full of candy every couple of weeks.”

Johnnie-O is a very popular coastal clothing brand which I’m sure most of you recognize. The brand was started by former St. Louisan, John O’Donnell, whose brother is actor Chris O’Donnell, a star on the TV show, NCIS. Last Friday, I had the opportunity to sit down with Mr. O’Donnell for a one-on-one interview for our esteemed paper, The Record.

TR: What do you miss most about St. Louis?

TR: Being from St. Louis, what is your favorite local tradition? JO: “Now you know that I only lived for my early childhood in St. Louis, before my family moved to Chicago. I’d have to say my favorite tradition was going down to Spicer’s (Clayton) with all my brothers and sisters and

JO: “Honestly, now that I’m at the beach or the golf course so often, the thing that

I miss most about St. Louis is my family and relatives. I miss all of my aunts and uncles who have since passed.” TR: What were your inspirations for creating Johnnie-O?

JO: “Growing up in a small, preppy town and then moving out to the West Coast for college, I saw two styles that I really liked - West Coast surf and East Coast class. I wanted to bring the two together, and I did that through Johnnie-O.”

TR: What was your favorite course in college? JO: “Wait, what? My favorite golf course? (laughs) Now you know where my mind is. I actually really enjoyed a media/radio and film course I took at UCLA. A bunch of producers came in from LA

and it was really cool seeing the ‘behind the scenes’ look.“ TR: With that being said, what course has benefited you the most concerning Johnnie-O? JO: “Well, in all honesty I would have to say that not any class specifically [benefited me], but more so just hanging out at the fraternity houses and spending days at the beach relaxing. Those have helped me create the certain style that is Johnnie-O.” John is an avid golfer who played for UCLA as a student. Johnnie-O has been very popular around the West and East Coasts, and figures such as NFL Quarterback Drew Brees and MLB pitcher Barry Zito have been spotted sporting JO. John currently resides in LA, where he works on both his business and golf game.

Ask Stew By Stew McGhee ’46 Staff Writer

dancing. Second, dance moves never go out of style, and most of them take little to no coordination to pull off. These days, most people think it’s cool to be a hipster, and frankly I can’t think of a bigger hipster than the guy who pulls out the ‘lawn mower’ or ‘the running man’ at a Junior School Mixer.

S t e w, d o e s C o n n o r Wright ever not look stunning? Is that even a question? Hey Stew, I want to go to the Junior School Mixer, but I don’t know how to dance. Can you help me out? There are a few things all Junior Schoolers should understand. First, you are never too cool to dance - don’t be a Mitchell Guard. The guy

who dances will get way more ladies than the guy standing awkwardly in the corner, so don’t be afraid to get into the middle of the crowd and start

Mr. Schake always says to marry a rich Villa girl so that you never have to work a day in your life. How does one go about doing this?

MISSING: Very short, ugly tie.

I will reveal to you one of my most coveted secrets for getting Villa girls. The key is to play hard to get, but not regular hard to get; hard to get on steroids. You have to be so hard to get that the girl doesn’t even know you exist. Then, go to her Facebook page and find a good picture of her, preferably more than a year old. Like this picture and simply comment, ‘<3’. If she doesn’t immediately knock on your door, my name’s not Stew.

NEWS Sodality of Our Lady of Walsingham By Matthew Wennemann ’15 Sodality President As many of you may have noticed, this week’s Wednesday prayer service was hosted by the Sodality of Our Lady of Walsingham. The Sodality hosted the service for a triple purpose, one of which was the presentation of an image of Saint Louis to Father Gregory. The image of Saint Louis was received by the Sodality two weeks ago in a Mass said by Archbishop Carlson at the Cathedral. This Mass celebrated all of the Catholic schools in Saint Louis, as well as the 800th anniversary of the birth of Saint Louis, King of France and our secondary patron. Four members of the Sodality were there to represent the school, and the image was received by David Holmes, our Prefect, and presented to Father Gregory by Louis Rolwes, a Junior School representative.

Immediately after the presentation of the image, the Sodality also commissioned

their Prayer Warriors. These Sodalists are tasked with praying specifically for the previous founding seniors of the Sodality. This tradition will continue annually, with new

members being put in charge of praying for each graduated senior. In addition to remembering the former members, the Sodality also offers an invitation to anyone who would like to join. At the end of the Prefect’s reflection, a school-wide invitation to any student wishing to devote himself to the Virgin Mary was issued. This invitation will stand for the whole year, and the Sodality will always be open to new members. New members will be formally inducted during a school assembly in March and will receive the medieval pilgrim badge of Our Lady of Walsingham. The Sodality members wear these pins on their lapels during school masses. Please join us Wednesday mornings at 7:45 in the cafeteria for prayer and reflection in devotion to Our Lady of Walsingham.

Blues News By Harry Lindmark ’17 Staff Writer

and both attended Chaminade for high school.

The Blues have started their preseason training and games and are adjusting well to the large number of new players on the team. Over the summer, the Blues acquired a ton of new players, but they lost one major player. Vladimir Sobotka decided it was best for him to leave the Blues and go play hockey in Russia. The loss of Sobotka was not a big deal because the Blues acquired some phenomenal new talent including the likes of Jori Lethera, Carl Gunnarsson, Chris Butler, and Paul Stastny. Butler and Stastny are both St. Louis natives

The Blues have had two preseason games so far, both of which they lost 4-3 against the Stars and Blue Jackets, respectively. They have five preseason games remaining, and the first regular season game will be on Thursday October, 9th against the New York Rangers. The Blues have a very strong roster and have more than ten Olympians playing for them this year. The Blues will be starting one of two goalies, neither of whom have been starters before. Brian Elliot played backup goalie last year and did an amazing job.

He had one of the highest save percentages in the NHL and he had a record of 14-8. Jake Allen will also be playing goalie for the Blues this year. Allen played for the Blues minor league team last year, and won Minor League Goalie of the Year. Allen will most likely be playing backup for Elliot. Highlights of this coming season include five games against the Chicago Blackhawks and five games against the Colorado Avalanche. All in all, this is shaping up to be the Blues best season yet and hopefully it will be the year that they finally win the Stanley Cup.

3 The Record VOLUME XLV ISSUE 5 SEPTEMBER 26, 2014 Editor in Chief Robert E. Donnelly III ’15 Layout Editor Thomas Rosebrough ’15 Content Editors Alexander Hill ’15 Stephen Millsap ’15 Patrick Lane ’15 Robert Erbs III ’15 Faculty Moderator Michael Ware Contact theprioryrecord@gmail.com 314-434-3690 ext. 221

The Record Disclaimer The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by students/staff members. Its purpose is to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members of the Priory community, including students, faculty, and alumni.The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyr ight infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

The tie is a putrid combination of green and yellow mis-matched patterns.

4 Periodical Science This is a great week for science, with new Oculus Rift hardware, a new Rover in Martian orbit, and the first 25 legal permits given to self driving cars, but unfortunately for all those stories, we also made a massive bound in everyone’s f av o r i t e s c i e nt i fi c fi e l d : quantum entanglement. This past week, scientists made t h e f i r s t s t e p t ow a r d s reducing the speed of your internet connection literally to the speed of light. The idea is that every photon has polarization, which can be manipulated on and off like a computer’s bits. Quantum physics (to put it simply) says t h at t w o p a r t i c l e s c a n become entangled, and the properties of one can be predicted by observing the other. Scientists used this phenomenon to teleport a signal of quantum states from one encased particle to another particle 15.5 miles away in exactly 0 seconds. Scientists hope to create a system allowing computers to send and interpret these signals. This technology, while still pretty far away, is officially out of the “probably impossible” group that defines most of science fiction. The only downside is online gamers will have to find something else to blame their poor performance on.

PERIODICALS Saint Louis Somebodies By Connor Wright ’16 Photojournalist

"All of my friends are getting engaged, and I don't even have a boyfriend. It feels like guys never notice me. I don't know whether it’s because they think I’m fat or if it's because I'm just boring. But either way, I would love some attention once in awhile." "First of all, you're a beautiful and healthy size. But what are you looking for in a guy? How would you describe your dream husband?" "Sorry, but you're way too young for me."

"Miss, I think you misunderstood." "I know, I was just flattering myself. But I guarantee if you call me in 10 years, I’ll still be single." "Well, I actually just interviewed a guy around your age in that cafe over there. He seemed like a great guy and he said he was single. Stay right here."

Michael Blogs: Jeter’s Farewell By Ramzi Haddad ’16 Staff Writer Last night, Derek Jeter s a i d f a r e w e l l t o Ya n k e e Stadium. A recent poll of New Yorkers shows a harsh contrast to the standing ovation he received. It turns out that 83% of New Yorkers find Derek Jeter to be too nice for New York, the land of the rude. In Saint Louis, a honk from a car is equivalent to saying the world Voldemort in the land of Harry Potter. In

New York, honks are more common than pokes on Facebook. Derek Jeter has the lowest honk-to-drive-time ratio of any professional athlete. Derek has been known to wave when someone lets him over into a lane, and even use his blinker. This atrocious behavior has been largely ignored, since Derek has won five championships with the Yankees. But, with his career coming to a close, Jeter is likely facing a large backlash.

Another one of New York’s problems with Derek is his refusal to butcher pronunciations of words. Despite living in New York for the past 20 years, Derek still pronounces words correctly. What craziness! N e w Yo r k s a y s goodbye to Derek Jeter with a ‘good riddance’ attitude. His orderly driving and proper phoenix have pushed them over the edge, and rightfully so.

Did we mention it’s a clip-on? What are we five years old?

FLUNK THE FLYING MONK Flunk’s Dream: Part 2 By Fr. Ralph O.S.B. “Well, let’s hear the rest of the dream,” said Gloria as she brought her coffee and chocolate chip cookie to the table where Flunk was patiently awaiting her arrival. “And step on it, monk, we haven’t got all day!” “O.K., G, no need to get shirty. You’re the one who’s late this time!” I think last week I had just gotten to that part of the dream when we were on Mars looking for Curiosity. Well, we found him, and as we approached to about 50 feet of the Mobile Robot, a voice, somewhat metallic in tone, met our ears: “Earth man and woman— why are you here? I send good data back without you. I no need human. You ask me questions. I answer if program no break up/down.”

“So, Gloria, in my dream you fired several technical questions at Curiosity. The conversation, as far as I remember, went something like this...” “Curiosity, how much did it cost to build you down on planet earth?” “About 5 billion American bucks.” “How far did you travel to reach planet Mars?” “352 million miles.” “How long did it take you?” “253 days. We travelled at about 22,500 miles per hour and about 3.2 million Earth beings watched our E.D.L (Entry Descent Landing). Nasa says landing very good. After traveling 350,000,000 miles, we were only 1.25 miles from the planned landing site.” “Wow!” Gloria broke in,

“That is amazing! Did Curiosity have anything to say about our congresses?” “He sure did, G,” said Flunk, “In my dream, after your questions, I asked him if he had any suggestions for our global congresses. As far as I remember his reply went something like this...” “You earth beings need to make use of great brain technology to sort out Planet Earth. Technology, for less than five billion Curiosity bucks, could discover Violence Subduing Defense Weapons (VSDW), as well as new kinds of radar paralysis weapons to temporarily immobilize attackers. For one billion bucks, radar violence neutralizing weapons could deal more happily with Terror Spreaders (T.S.). Special radar would detect T.S. earth beings and make them comatose until waking up in a hospital jail.

Curiosity could end Earth wars in a brace of, how-you-say, milk shakes, with one click of Curiosity’s Martian artificial mind. When war ended, all Earth people could sort out clean water problems. Solar desalinization plants would replace nuclear and other armament factories. In 10 years, no more water shortage on Earth, unless you run out of ocean, which Curiosity no think likely. See those oceans of Blue Planet? Earth has plenty water, far more than we on Mars. In 5 earth years, for 5 billion bucks, we eliminate brutal weaponry and freshwater shortage.” “That was all I remember, Gloria,” said Flunk, “but it sure gives us a program! Drink up. We must get off to work.” “Wow!” said Gloria. Three times then, she added, “Nice dream,” and the two of them spun off.

Said tie was last seen amongst a hoard of Junior School Students during Advisory games.

ENTERTAINMENT

Sudokus - Easy, Medium, Hard

Crossword ACROSS 1. Neck warmer 6. Immediately 10. Cushions or mats 14. Located near the poles 15. Fermented grape juice 16. River of Spain 17. Insect stage 18. Distinctive flair 19. Hack 20. A lively whirling Italian dance 22. Henhouse 23. Information 24. Almost 26. Emanation 30. Dowel 31. Little bit 32. Trickle 33. Again 35. Grain storage buildings 39. Scorn 41. Silhouette 43. Purposes 44. "Phooey!" 46. Shoestring 47. Alien Life Form 49. Belief 50. Mining finds 51. Record player 54. Lascivious look 56. District 57. Loud 63. Destroy by fire

Word Jumble 64. Indian dress 65. Gnatlike insect 66. Ear-related 67.Weightlifters pump this 68. Skirt fold 69. You (archaic) 70. Not short 71. American retailer DOWN 1.Expectoration 2. Unwakable state 3. Winglike 4. Indian music 5. Leaf 6. Sugared 7. Cultivated land 8. A Freudian stage 9. Renter 10. Indiscretion 11. Loathe 12. Dribble 13. Overly sentimental 21. Paperlike cloths 25. Where the sun rises 26. Contributes 27. Component of urine 28. Hazard 29. Visible aspect 34. Deterioration

Red letters go into the final jumble puzzle. TARGIEN: __ __ __ __ __ __ __ ATTCHYIS: __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ ROYRGFE: __ __ __ __ __ __ __ VEADENBLR: __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ CIFOOSREU: __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ 36. Teller of untruths 37. A single time 38. Views 40. Small island 42. Not fulfilled 45. Control surface on a plane 48. Fogey 51. Wooden shoe 52. Not lies 53. Creepy 55. Frolics 58. Tropical tuber 59. Anger 60. Bright thought 61. Food thickener 62. Catches

Clue: Danny and Sohaan wanted to be generous, so they gave away batteries...

________________________

Thanks to Danny Steurer, Sohaan Swaminathan for the Word Jumble

By now, you may know who this tie belongs to.

SPORTS

Cross Country Update By William Whaley ’15 XC Team Captain Since my last installment, the Running Rebels have torn apart the competition in two separate races. At the Forest Park Cross Country Festival, both JV and Varsity received fourth place in their respective races--an especially impressive showing considering the large amount of rival teams. More than thirty teams in both divisions were vying for first place, so naturally the starting line was packed. Not to be deterred by its less-than-preferable starting box on the far-left side, JV stormed out at the starting line. Trey Erbs and James Coyle led the charge for Priory, finishing at 19:22 and 19:28, respectively. Close behind were Andrew Evans (19:53), Anthony O'Sullivan (20:00), and Ian Steiner (20:03) to make up the scoring members. Rounding out

the top seven were Nolan Kemna (20:12) and Chris Hedlesky (20:20). On the Varsity side, the Rebels faced a similar problem at the starting line with the same box that JV had on the very far left. Nevertheless, Varsity surged forward at the beginning and kept moving up throughout the entire race to finish in fourth place, just behind district rival Westminster. Jake Drysdale led Priory by a wide margin and finished with an incredible time of 17:38 to take 16th place overall. George O'Sullivan followed with a time of 18:04 and just behind him was Thomas Lowell at 18:15. Luke Lissner had a sensational race and finished at 18:22, a personal record by over a minute. A pack of Alex Lowell, William Whaley, and Andy Swyers finished within three seconds of each other from 18:46-18:49. This pack was followed by

Andrew Latuda to finish off Varsity. At the Lutheran North Invitational, the Running Rebels made the journey to Spanish Lake park to run a fairly-flat yet somewhat-disliked course. This course is notorious for having sharp turns and a very fast start, during which many runners fall. JV and Varsity ran together for this race, allowing Priory to from the legendary Red Sea at the start. With this added confidence, Priory's top seven were able to get ahead of the crowd at the start and take the sinister first mile quickly, yet carefully. Once this evil first mile was over, the top seven held and improved their positions over the next two miles to secure third place out of fourteen teams. Jake Drysdale led Priory and finished at 18:04 for 6th place overall. Thomas Lowell followed him at 18:23 to earn 9th. After these

two were William Whaley (18:47), and a duo of Andy Swyers (19:11), and Kyle Flores (19:17). Parker Dow and Luke Lissner finished together at 19:39 to complete the top seven. Four additional Priory runners came in between 19:51 and 20:09 to ensure our third-place position. This third place position made Cross Country the first Priory sport to earn a trophy this season, and suggests the possibility of subsequent trophies at future races. Our next race is the Hancock Invitational at Jefferson Barracks park on Saturday, September 27th. This is a very large race with many successful teams, so come out if you want to see a fast, highly competitive race. Varsity runs at 8:30 (we're not excited about the start time either) and JV runs at noon.

Arsenal 2-1 Spurs

(Henderson, Gerrard (pen); Lukaku, Barkley)

World Soccer Update By Michael Ricci ‘15, Art Hidalgo ’15, Logan Bealke ‘15, and Joe Hanley ’15 Staff Writers Hull City V. Man City After coming off a tough and emotional draw against Chelsea, Frank Lampard and Manchester City will look to rejuvenate their slumping attack against a defensively weak Hull. Frank Lampard, the former Chelsea Legend and lone goal scorer last week, will look to command the Manchester City midfield. Hull will look to get at most a point out of this Saturday’s morning clash. There is a chance that Hatem Ben Arfa and Abel Hernandez will be able to put in a solid attacking performance pulling out the win. Unfortunately for Hull, Manchester City is too strong and Manchester will win quite easily. Score: Man City 2-0 Hull City

Spurs 1-1Arsenal Liverpool 2-1 Everton Chelsea 1-1Aston Villa Chelsea V. Aston Villa Chelsea currently sits three points up atop the table, but Aston Villa is right on their tail. Off to a surprising start, Aston Villa has 10 points through their first 5 games, including a surprise 1-0 win over Liverpool. This matchup will be a clash of styles, as Chelsea’s high-flying offense will try to break down the stout defense of Villa. In the end, Chelsea’s quality in the attacking third will be too much for Villa to deal with. Look for Chelsea’s creative midfielders to break down the defense and the BPL’s leading goal scorer, Diego Costa, to add at least another goal to his tally. Score Chelsea 3-0 Aston Villa Man City 3-0 Hull City

Liverpool V. Everton With both teams coming off of losses, Liverpool and Everton will look to bounce back with a win in the Merseyside Derby. Both teams have been easily undone defensively, and have struggled with scoring. Liverpool's chances of winning hinge on whether Daniel Sturridge returns from injury in time for the game. Either way, Liverpool will look to Raheem Sterling for inspiration. Everton has had a difficult start to their season, failing to build on the fantastic season of last year. Everton spent big to acquire striker Romelu Lukaku from Chelsea this summer; they will hope to see him on the score sheet in the Merseyside derby. Both will try to exert themselves offensively, despite weak defenses. Final Score: Liverpool 2-2 Everton

If found return to a fiercely angry Mr. Tim Bussen.

Man City 3-2 Hull City Arsenal 2-0 Tottenham Chelsea 3-1 Aston Villa After beating number two in the BPL standings, Aston Villa, last week, Arsenal is feeling pretty jovial going into their game against the Spurs. The fragile Spurs team is not going to be the zestiest team out on the pitch because of their poor form in the last three games. Arsenal will go up two goals to nil by the 32 minute mark with a goal by Alexis “Thunder Thighs” Sanchez and another by Mesut Ozil. The jaunty Arsenal squad will pull away, but not without conceding a goal from the notorious Adebayor the Slayer.

8 Homecoming

REVIEWS Book Review: Steelheart By Andrew Swyers ’15 Staff Writer

TICKETS ON SALE

Post-apocalyptic novels have become a recent craze in fiction, with notable inclusions such as The Hunger Games. Brandon Sanderson’s Steelheart is also a dystopian novel, but instead of a great war or illusions of perfection, the world falls apart from the Calamity, an unexplained event that gave some men superpowers. Now, portions of the population can become gods among men. But, power corrupts, and these “epics” begin to destroy the world as we know it. After trying to m a i n t a i n o r d e r, t h e U . S . Government issues the Capitulation Act, surrendering all of its power. The epics then shape the United States according to their will, forming a society of chaos. Steelheart focuses on Chicago, now called Newcago, and David, an orphaned teen living

in Newcago. Newcago is run by the epic Steelheart and is odd because it has a functioning society, with a police force and electricity. Steelheart has also brought in other epics to maintain order. David’s one and only goal is k i l l i n g Steelheart because Steelheart killed his f a t h e r around the collapse of the society. However, Steelheart is among the most powerful of epics, as he possesses the power of invulnerability. David’s only chance is that every single epic has some weakness, some unexplainable thing that can beat their awesome powers, and David is the only person alive who has seen Steelheart

bleed. The novel is well written with witty dialogue and an interesting tic for the main character: he is terrible with analogies. David is so bad that it’s comical when he attempts to compare things and elicits strange looks from others. The novel clearly sets up the epics as evil, but does give time for exploring why the epics, who used to be ordinary people, are evil, since every single one has turned out bad. In addition, there is the debate surrounding if Steelheart should really be killed, since he is responsible for a beacon of order in the chaos. Steelheart is around 400 pages and can be found in our library - a great read!

Music Review: CLPPNG. - Clipping. $10 FOR YOU + DATE GET SERVED on OCTOBER 11 7:00 PM

By Tripp Miller ’16 Staff Writer What do you get when you mix the aggression and experimentation of Death Grips (may they rest in peace) and the o l d - s c h o o l , We s t C o a s t sensibilities of Schoolboy Q? It probably sounds a lot like the new clipping. album, CLPPNG. Calling themselves “noise rap,” clipping. make music with a rough, industrial texture that somehow remains incredibly catchy and fun. Lyrically, this

album explores the dark side of the oft-glorified streets, à la Kendrick Lamar. It doesn't always deliver (the violence

and nihilism seem almost glorified at points), but when it hits, it's incredible. Production wise, this album is able to make even feedback catchy (try the track ‘Intro’ for an example of this). The only weakness this album seems to have is a lack of cohesiveness - clppng would have worked better as a mixtape. But, for the noble stab at a crossover, experimental hip-hop album, it delivers. 7.9/10

REWARD: Mr. Bussen will not kill you. No questions asked...