Vol. Xlii, issue 15 by Saint Louis Priory School

Cheating

Justin Bieber Turns 18

Headmaster Fr. Michael writes about the cheating policy. Page 2

Junior Staff Writer Thomas Burton looks for why so many dislike Justin Bieber. Page 6.

The Record

Vol. XLII, Issue 15 3/9/12

The Official Student Newspaper of Saint Louis Priory

Rebel Rock Dazzles Among Large Crowd

Anyone pulling into the Priory campus last Saturday night could tell how crazy this year’s Battle of the Bands would be. The parking was packed with cars filing all the way back to the science wing; walking in, you could hear the thunderous music before you even got inside. The theater was absolutely packed; people were forced to sit on the side walls. The mosh pit in front was packed tight. This year’s turnout was the best of any Rebel Rock yet. The Alleyway Antics led the night off with great performances of “Come Sail Away” and “Stacy’s Mom,” sung by Jack Rourke, but was unfortunately cursed with a small crowd while people were still arriving. But once the theater was filled, the night took off. It is safe to say that the loudest band was Adventure Time, led by vocalist Everett Zornes and his magic sword; they shook the entire building and nobody could even think because of their volume. Nico Stillman’s band, Head Above Water, featuring ex-Priory student John Sullivan, took a close second on volume level, playing a great original, “Straight No Chaser.” The surprise of the night was the sophomore band Quality Brome with vocalist Chris Chivetta, guitarist Taylor Dubray, violinist Brayton Briggs, and drummer T.J. Nieman. The music was phenomenal,

By Peter Cogan Staff Writer

but the glow sticks they handed out to the pit during their performance put the icing on the cake as they took second place. There was a new Rebel Rock record set as well. Junior Ryan Donlin, was a member of four bands: World’s Requiem, OK Fire, Ballooning over Berlin, and Kung Fu Goldfish, who took third place thanks to the best vocalist of the night, Taylor Hughes. It is hard to imagine the amount of effort it takes to be a part of one, or even two bands, but

four bands is ridiculous. However, the true champions of the night were the Van Bree Family. Mitch Van Bree and his band The Low Maintenance Folkies took first prize with two inspiring originals: “Write My Name” and “Pleases As Punch.” The band featured Mitch Van Bree and Hanna ‘Natural Blue’ Holladay as the lead vocalists, and late addition rhythm guitarist Ryan Token. Mitch’s 8th grade brother, Noah, had an honorable mention with his band The Familiar Shapes. And to top it all off Mr. Van Bree organized a band of Priory dads called Bad Dand, which also featured the UrbanFUTURE performers. It was a great night for musiclovers and non-music-lovers alike. The event greatly benefitted the sponsor charity, UrbanFUTURE, which is dedicated to the success of urban youth through character growth, academics, and career preparation. Malcolm Briggs represented them well as the emcee, as is tradition. There should also be a thank you to the judges: Father Michael, Carrie Lane, Father Augustine, and Ken Krueger, all of whom gave great, positive input to all of the bands who performed. I also want to give a shout out to the STUCO representatives that help organize the event every year. Rebel Rock is a great night for the school as it raises lots of money and also brings the Priory community together. Everybody should already be anticipating next year’s Rebel Rock.

editorial

the reCord staff

Headmaster Addresses Cheating By Fr. Michael

t h e p r i o ry r e C o r d @ g M a i l . C o M

editor in Chief luKe d slaBaugh

layout editor treVor Jin

Content editor Carter gage The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by student editors/ staff members. Its purpose is threefold: to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members of the Pr iory community, including students, faculty, and alumni. The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to:

libel,

in-

fringement, or unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student edi tors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to the Editors are

always

appreciated.

Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

Headmaster

Two years ago, after a particularly egregious incident of cheating on a major test involving at least 5 students, I instituted a two strikes policy, under which two incidents of cheating would incur the penalty of expulsion. All of you in the high school were here then when I instituted this policy. Since that time, under this policy I did in fact ask one student to leave. At that time I consulted no one before implementing the policy. I was responding to the particular situation and the excuses being made by some advocates of the students involved. I was angry and I wanted to make it clear that there was no place for cheating at Priory. However in this policy I did not differentiate between the levels of seriousness of offenses. In other words I treated every sin of cheating as a mortal sin with the consequence of the highest penalty. It was unwise of me to do this and to not consult with educators with more experience than I. However I am not one to NOT admit a mistake, and I am not one make students pay the highest price for my mistake. The problems with this policy have been brought home to my by an incident three weeks ago of 4 students in the senior class plagiarizing a homework assignment. Three of these students have a prior incident in previous years. So according to this policy I should expel them, or if I would suspend them, we & they would be required to noti-

fy the colleges from which they have accepted offers of admission. This would seriously jeopardize those admissions. The consequences of punishment for their plagiarized homework seem all out of proportion to the offense. The punishment would be felt not only by the student’s parents but also most of the senior class. This is one of those cases in which I am torn between my responsibilities as a headmaster and my conduct and choices as a priest. I am keenly aware of making an exception to policy and rules, because I was only able to be ordained a priest because the man who is now Pope granted me the personal favor of exception to the rule in Canon Law that forbade me to be ordained because as a Muslim I had converted to a non-Christian religion. I am also aware that when I stand before God in judgment, there are a lot of big sins for which I’m hoping He will have mercy and not hold me accountable. This is also a case that whatever I decide to do, a lot of people will be unhappy with that decision…teachers, parents and students in all cases. This is a result of a flawed policy. I believe that then Cdl. Ratzinger’s decision to let me be ordained has resulted in my being able to do good for a lot of people, some of which would not have been done otherwise. But I also know that some people believe then Cdl. Ratzinger made a big mistake and they believe that I have done a lot of harm. That’s life. You can’t please everyone all the time.

So while I have not decided what to do in all of these cases, I can tell you that I am not expelling anyone; that only one of these students will have to explain this incident to his college. I am also appointing Fr. Linus to chair a committee consisting of Mrs. Hartnett, Mr. Gleich, Mr. Finan & Dr. Kilcullen to form a clear and fair disciplinary policy regarding plagiarism and cheating that will have penalties commensurate with the gravity and frequency of offenses. To those of you who are unhappy with my decision, I am truly sorry, but I cannot see that as a Priest I can do anything other in this case. I do not believe that these students who have done something incredibly stupid are deserving of being expelled from this family & community in which they have grown up for the last six years, only three months away from graduating. I believe they are sinners who can be saved and redeemed in their remaining time with us. If I am wrong, my conscience is clear because I gave them every chance to be a Priory man of honor; and I’d do the same for you if you were in that exact same situation. However, if you think that this signals a toleration of cheating you would be wrong. If this same plagiarism had happened in the fall term, these students would be expelled. If it happened any time in junior year, these students would be expelled and my conscience would be clear.

editorial

3 Effects Of New BBCOR Regulation By Eddie Griesedieck Staff Writer

As I walked downstairs late at night and proclaimed I was writing an article on baseball for The Record, my sister chimed in with her typical words of wisdom saying, “Well, shouldn’t you have gotten quotes from guys on the baseball team to write it well?” Oh, sisters. When I explained that I really was writing on the new BBCOR regulations for baseball, she cleverly responded, “What?” To most people, this topic would be a “What?” I doubt many

people outside of the baseball world will take any note that the players they so adore watching play will be playing with a different bat. It’s not just that, though. The new regulations on the BBCOR will radically change the way players, hit, run, and pitch. The statistical facts of the case are these: the NCAA ruled in 2009 that they would be switching from the BESR method of testing bats, to BBCOR. BBCOR stands for the Bat-Ball Coefficient of Restitution and has proven to be more effective in testing true bat power

than BESR because BESR, which stands for Ball Exit Speed Ratio, only tested the speed of the ball after it left contact with the bat. The reason BBCOR will make life more difficult for baseball players, though, is because of the type of bat it requires players to use. Instead of a composite or hollow-core aluminum bat, players must use bats with a solid core that doesn’t “give” as much when it makes contact with the ball. The ball will come off the bat slower, which puts hitters at a disadvantage.

Ralph’s Rages By Fr. Ralph Contributor

OBSERVATION 5 The Second Vatican Council, 1965 in Gaudium et Spes (section 51), declared: “Life must be protected with the utmost care from the moment of conception; abortion and infanticide are abominable crimes.” OBSERVATION 6 BLESSED MOTHER TERESA IN HER TALK WHEN RECEIVING THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR PEACE 11 December 1979 “But I feel the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a direct war, a direct killing - direct murder by the mother her-

self. And we read in the Scripture, for God says very clearly: Even if a mother could forget her child - I will not forget you - I have carved you in the palm of my hand. We are carved in the palm of His hand, so close to Him that unborn child has been carved in the hand of God. And that is what strikes me most, the beginning of that sentence, that even if a mother could forget, something impossible - but even if she could forget - I will not forget you. And today the greatest means - the greatest destroyer of peace is abortion. And we who are standing here - our parents wanted us. We would

not be here if our parents would do that to us. Our children, we want them, we love them, but what of the millions. Many people are very, very concerned with the children in India, with the children in Africa where quite a number die, maybe of malnutrition, of hunger and so on, but millions are dying deliberately by the will of the mother. And this is what is the greatest destroyer of peace today. Because if a mother can kill her own child - what is left for me to kill you and you kill me there is nothing between.”

Continued on Pg. 6

Puzzles

Crossword Puzzle

ACROSS 1. Arrived 5. Wholly absorbed 9. Hyrax 14. Churn 15. Nursemaid 16. Silly 17. Sea eagle 18. Not a single one 19. What you suck your drink through 20. Nylons 22. Vends 23. Savor 24. Spermal fluid 26. Not amateur

29. Flew too close to the sun (Greek mythology) 33. Contracts to lease transportation 38. Clothing 39. Assistant 40. Writing tables 42. Skin disease 43. Hogfish or razorfish 45. Unaffected by time 47. Assyrian or Babylonian, for example 48. Constantly remind

49. Ladies 52. Tomb 57. North American diving duck 60. Put into one’s bank account 63. A brittle aromatic resin 64. Press laundry 65. Accomplished 66. Corridor 67. A type of cabbage 68. Dour 69. Consecrate 70. 2 2 2 2 71. Anagram of “Seal”

Sudoku Difficulty - Medium

DOWN 1. Top line of a hill 2. Heart artery 3. Son of Zeus and Europa (Greek mythology) 4. Select by voting 5. Hindu princess 6. An Egyptian deity 7. Twinges 8. Not those 9. Take apart 10. Before birth 11. An earthy deposit rich in lime 12. A Freudian stage 13. Current events 21. Retained 25. An unwholesome

Cryptogram

- Jerry Seinfeld

atmosphere 27. Ransom 28. Mineral bearing rock 30. Type of cereal grass 31. Vases 32. Perceives visually 33. Crow sounds 34. Employ 35. Biblical first man 36. Repeat payments to performers 37. Super Sonic Transport 41. Family 44. Paper fasteners 46. They come from chickens

50. Order 51. Asian antelope 53. Long narrow range of hills 54. Coral island 55. 2nd planet from the sun 56. Swelling under the skin 57. Forms on a wound 58. Spiral 59. A vaulted recess on a building 61. Played on horseback or in the water 62. 1 1 1 1

Puzzles

ACROSS 1. Lane 6. Boast 10. Scientific workplaces 14. Native of New Zealand 15. Greasy 16. Sword 17. Picture 18. An AngloSaxon minstrel 19. Indicator 20. Destroys 22. Frozen 23. Arid 24. Makes angry 26. Hogfish or razorfish 30. Desert animal

Crossword Puzzle

32. Nimbus 33. Storage building 35. Walked through water 39. Divert 41. Metric unit of area 42. Not fresh 43. A group of lions 44. Hindu princess 46. Leaf of the talipot palm 47. Light kisses 49. Done to butter on toast 51. A style of half mask

Sudoku

54. Every bit 55. Employee Stock Option Program 56. Obnoxious 63. Not prerecorded 64. Played on horseback or in the water 65. Male singing range 66. Swerve 67. Not fatty 68. Wear away 69. Goes astray 70. Anglo-Saxon slave 71. Compact

Difficulty -Evil

DOWN 1. Among 2. Crippled 3. A rich soil of sand and clay 4. Therefore 5. Cedes 6. Pushy 7. Wealthy 8. Found in some skin lotions 9. Used in plaster 10. Lawmaker 11. Rapidly 12. Bring forth 13. Sows 21. Angers 25. Church benches

26. Stinging insect 27. A tributary of the Rhine River 28. Wild African sheep 29. Small wading birds 30. Anagram of “Acres” 31. City in Yemen 34. “Listen up!” 36. Valley 37. Singer Fitzgerald 38. Deceased 40. Adolescent 45. Small island 48. Twosome

Cryptogram

- Jerry Seinfeld

50. Coated with a layer of metal 51. Cut into 52. Willow 53. A proposer of a formal motion 54. Without companionship 57. Negatives 58. Scheme 59. Withered 60. In a little while (archaic) 61. Gestures of assent 62. Tall woody plant

Editorial

Bieber Turns 18 By Thomas Burton Staff Writer

On Thursday, the pop singer Justin Bieber celebrated his 18th birthday. After such a momentous occasion, let us take the time to ponder one simple question: Why does everybody hate him? This is a question that most certainly has a multi-faceted answer. In my opinion, there are three definite reasons for the entire male population’s hate of “The Biebs”. The first and most obvious reason to hate Justin Bieber is his hair—his smooth, brown, shaggy hair. His hair is an embarrassment for the entire male population. Any man who rocks the style of hair-

cut that he does is most likely not a man. It’s that simple. Another thing that angers the male population is his voice. As Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe put it, he “genuinely thought it was a woman singing” the first time he heard a Bieber song. While his voice has deepened somewhat over the past year or two, Bieber stills sounds like (in my estimation) a fifteen year old girl. There is nothing wrong with sounding like a fifteen year old girl—that is, of course, unless you aren’t a fifteen year old girl. The third and final reason for hating the boy affectionately dubbed

“J-Biebs,” is that the male population is jealous of him. It causes me deep pain to say this, but Justin Bieber attracts the opposite sex more than any of the readers of this article. He is so smooth with the ladies that he even managed to procure the affection of the lovely Selena Gomez. His relationship with Sel-Go (and all women in general) gives males yet another reason for hating his guts. So while Justin Bieber may look and sound like a female, he is most likely better with the ladies than you are—and we hate him even more for that. So to you, Justin, we wish a not-so-happy birthday.

Ralph’s Rages (cont.) OBSERVATION 7 Dr Jérôme Lejeune. (19271994) was professor of fundamental genetics at a hospital for sick children in Paris. He received many awards for his work on human chromosomal diseases including the Kennedy Award and the William Allan Memorial award. In an article about the early stages of human life he writes: “..At two months of age, in utero, the human being is less than one thumb’s length from the head to the rump. He would fit easily into a nutshell, but everything is there: hands, feet, head, organs, brain, all are in place. His heart has been beating for a month already. Looking closely, one would see the palm

creases. With a good magnifier the finger prints could be detected. Every document is available for a national identity card.” “..To accept the fact that after fertilization has taken place, a new human has come into being, is no longer a matter of taste or of opinion. The human nature of the human being from conception to old age is not a metaphysical contention, it is plain experimental evidence.” OBSERVATION 8 BLESSED JOHN PAUL II March 25 1995 #2 The Gospel of Life message fulfils human aspirations beyond our wildest dreams. The Church knows that this Gospel of Life, which she has re-

ceived from her Lord, has a profound and persuasive echo in the heart of every person or believer and non-believer alike, because it marvelously fulfils all the heart’s expectations while infinitely surpassing them. Even in the midst of difficulties and uncertainties, every person sincerely open to truth and goodness can, by the light of reason and the hidden action of grace, come to recognize in the natural law written in the heart (cf. Rom 2:14-15) the sacred value of human life from its very beginning until its end, and can affirm the right of every human being to have this primary good respected to the highest degree. Upon the recognition of this right, every human community and the political community itself are founded…