Volume XLIV - Issue 2

VOLUME XLIV ISSUE 2 SEPTEMBER 6, 2013

THE

RECORD

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THE RECORD The Record Is Read Abroad!

VOLUME XLIV ISSUE 2 SEPTEMBER 6, 2013 Editor In Chief Andrew Cammon ‘14 Layout Editor Lucas McGartland ‘14 Content Editors Michael Herman ‘14 William O’Brien ‘14 Eric Stange ‘14 Faculty Moderator Ms. Layton Contact theprioryrecord@gmail.com 314.434.3690 ext. 221

By Señora Cazabonne Teacher In June 2013 Mrs. Shore, Mr. Shore, Mr. Muñoz and myself, went to visit Chile. In Chile we visited the town of Vicuña in the north, Valparaíso on the coast, and several small towns in between. While in Santiago, Chile’s capital, we visited the San Lorenzo, one of three Benedictine schools in Santiago. St. Louis Priory has a very strong connection to these three Benedictine schools.

I was interested in visiting San Lorenzo because I heard very good things about this school. San Lorenzo is unique because it is funded partly by the government and partly by San Benito and San Anselmo, the two other Benedictine

schools. San Lorenzo is located in a working class community; many of its students come from broken families.

Besides giving an education to its students, San Lorenzo also provides guidance and a place for the students to retreat after school.

I was impressed by the dedication and loving support the faculty and alumni provide to the students at this school.

Mónica Donoso, who came to visit our school in 2006, is one the advisers and faculty who has put a lot of hours and dedication in making sure the school meets the students’ needs. Magdalena Salazar, who also came to visit our school in the year 2012, was instrumental in creating an after-school program in San Lorenzo. This

service is for elementary school students whose parents are still working after school has finished.

The students stay until 7:00 at night with a teacher and a helper who is either a student teacher or a volunteer parent.

In this program the students receive a snack, do their homework, read a book or play with their classmates until one of the parents picks them up.

We were impressed how well organized the city of Santiago is, and specially by the beauty of the snowed capped Andes Mountains, but we were more impressed by the warm welcome we received by its people and the love, dedication and care the San Lorenzo teachers provide to the students of that community.

The Record Disclaimer

The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by students/staff members. Its purpose is to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographer s, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members of the Priory community, including students, faculty, and alumni. The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyr ight infr ingement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit.

Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

Getting To Know Domingo Melossi

By Peter Hopkins ’17 I recently interviewed one of Priory’s foreign exchange students from Chile, Domingo Melossi, to talk about his new school and what he thinks of Priory so far. I asked Domingo about the differences between life at his school in Chile and here at Priory.

Q. How is the system of the classes different at Priory than in Chile?

A. Domingo said the system of

the classes were different in that at Priory the students must go classroom to classroom while at Chile the grades would stay in one class room and have all classes in that room. Domingo also told me that at Priory there is much more homework than at his old school.

Q. How is the family you are staying with?

A. Domingo stated that the Warr family is “very good and always help with homework.”.

Q. Are you making good friends?

Our Favorite Types of Crackers:

A. Domingo said that he was not having trouble making friends and that the students were treating him well.

Q. What is your favorite aspect of Priory?

A. Domingo said he thinks soccer is his favorite aspect of Priory. Domingo also told me that his favorite class so far is Biology.

Q. What is the thing you miss most about Chile?

A. Domingo stated the things he misses most about home are “my friends and family”.

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Faculty Interview: Talking With Dr. Rashford

By John Paul Austin ’14 Yearbook Editor This past week, I took the opportunity to interview our new Dean of Academics, Dr. Rashford, in the hopes of aiding the Priory community in getting acquainted with him.

JP: How long have you been teaching, and what do you love most about your job?

Dr. R: This is my fifteenth year in education, having taught primarily Biology at the high school level. There are several aspects of my job that make me come back each year. Among those, I appreciate how much I am able to learn from those who I work with (both students and teachers alike).

JP: What about Priory made you want to come and work here?

Dr. R: I have always had the opportunity to work with talented and motivated students in my former schools. What was lacking, however, was the Catholic identity of those

places. I would oftentimes feel as though, in conversations pertaining to either my discipline proper or any other number of matters students and colleagues would engage me in, I was ultimately limited in terms of how I could respond. I think I grew significantly from such experiences, but felt it was time to move to an environment where I could continue to d e v e l o p a s a n e d u c a t o r, colleague, administrator, and ultimately overall person, and the Benedictine tradition at Priory seemed like a good fit.

JP: Mr. Gleich has left you some giant shoes to fill, but there is always room for improvement. How do you plan to improve Priory in your role as Dean of Academics?

Dr. R: One of the descriptors for the job posting read something like, “…to allow for the growth and preservation” of Priory’s curriculum. As you mention, the contribution of Mr. Gleich as Director of Studies over the last several decades is

unprecedented, and I am already largely indebted to him for having passed on to me, so to speak, such a fine program.

At this point, I am working closely with Fr. Linus and the Department Heads, most of whom are also seasoned Priory educators, to look at the curriculum (Forms I-VI) in order to determine ways to further academic success of all of our students.

JP: Why are you a good fit for the Priory community?

Dr. R: This is an interesting question since I am frequently, sometimes to the dismay of those closest to me as my wife would tell you, musing on whether or not I actually fit in anywhere. Perhaps I have read too much Walker Percy. I will spare you the existential melodrama for the time being and respond simply that I hope that my work here at Priory will contribute to the continued development of the community as a whole.

JP: Since you have been here,

Priory’s Most Wanted

By William O’Brien ’14 Content Editor Hide your kids, hide your husband, hide your wife. The Priory community has been ravaged by the shocking actions of one ne'er dowel. This devil is none other than Billy Pollnow.

Many rumors are going around the school about his cruelty.

Eyewitness accounts testify that he stole doughnuts from the teachers lounge, and was shoving seventh graders around in the Junior School, saying, "Learning is dum. D-U-M dum." The accusations do not stop there, however some of them are so devious that they

what has shocked you most about Priory students?

Dr. R: Not too much, actually. I have found those students whom I have had the opportunity to meet to be respectful, responsible, and conscientious young men.

Hopefully, I will have the opportunity to meet most of you over the course of the year, and if not this year, than definitely in the years to come.

Dr. Rashford, as I have come to d i s c o v e r, i s i n c r e d i b l y approachable and friendly.

Please help welcome him into the Priory family by introducing yourself or shaking his hand when you pass him in the halls. He certainly seems to be a good fit for the Priory community, so as we celebrate the successes of the Gleich Regime, we equally anticipate the dawn of the Rashford age, and this new era of Priory academics. This is John Paul Austin reporting, you stay classy.

WANTED:

are deemed unfit for print.

Therefore the Priory hall monitors have issued the following statement: "If you see Mr. Pollnow, do not panic. Take refuge behind the first large, sturdy object you can find. As soon as the danger passes, find Mr. Finan. He and a team of highly trained hall monitors are standing by ready to remove this nuisance from our campus." A capture of the #1 most wanted criminal at Priory would be a great victory for the student body, and anything that you can do to help would be appreciation. But above all ladies and gentlemen, keep yourselves safe from this man.

Ritz Crackers

BILLY POLLNOW

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PUZZL E S

Sudokus: Easy, Medium, and Hard

Crossword Puzzle ACROSS 1. leather strip 6. Feudal worker 10. Smack 14. Habitual practice 15. Flower stalk 16. Marcel Marceau was one 17. Country estate 18. Concern 19. Portent 20. Creator 22. Monarch 23. Humdinger 24. A poor city district 26. Plateau 30. Rodent 31. Dawn goddess 32. Website addresses 33. Goulash 35. Grave marker 39. Agent

41. Demesnes 43. A chemical compound 44. Petty quarrel 46. Astrological transition 47. Ocean 49. Genus of macaws 50. Smooch 51. Anagram of "Steals" 54. Lean 56. Biblical kingdom 57. In a non-hurting manner 63. Barbershop emblem 64. Away from wind 65. Relative magnitudes 66. Weightlifters pump this 67. Tins

68. Step 69. Fender blemish 70. The products of human creativity 71. Creepy DOWN 1. Japanese wrestling 2. Russian emperor 3. Hindu princess 4. All excited 5. Risk 6. Intensifies 7. Ordinance 8. Roman emperor 9. Come forth 10. Chimney 11. Circumscribe 12. Catkin 13. Former Hungarian monetary unit 21. Medical professional

25. Party thrower 26. Speechless 27. Makes a mistake 28. A promiscuous woman 29. Appraisal 34. Fatigue 36. Decorative case 37. Not more 38. Vipers 40. Tall woody plant 42. Procrastinate 45. Hospital client 48. Lama pacos 51. Lukewarm 52. Love intensely 53. Sage 55. Brusque 58. Winglike 59. Satisfy 60. Sun 61. 53 in Roman numerals 62. Bygone era

Riddles My thunder comes before the lightning; My lightning comes before the clouds; My rain dries all the land it touches.

What am I?

I can be cracked, I can be made.

I can be told, I can be played.

What am I?

Glittering points that downward thrust, Sparkling spears that never rust.

What is it?

Lighter than what I'm made of, More of me is hidden than is seen.

What am I?

Whoever makes it, tells it not. Whoever takes it, knows it not. Whoever knows it, wants it not. What is it?

I'm light as a feather, yet the strongest man can't hold me for much more than a minute. What am I?

Bagel Chips

MON K S

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MONKCAMP: The Untold Story

By Tony Kraus ’17 Monkcamp was a success this year. It was a great opportunity to get closer to God and have fun at the same time. We spent two days at the monastery. We pray twice in the morning, once at noon, once in the after noon, and one before bed. The prayers are old monk chants, so were interesting to learn.

You can not forget all the fun games we play in between the praying smack ball, polar ball, person ball, ball ball, and the best one of all, murder ball.

Father Augustine set up a giant slip and slide down the hill

behind the cafeteria. We covered it and ourselves in bath soap and tide detergent. I got a bunch of nasty scars during the ordeal, but it was all worth it.

Father Augustine also put us to work. We named it, “mañual laboré.” We carried a bunch of big rocks to help build a wall behind the monastery. There was really no point in the wall that I could see, I think father Augustine just likes watching us suffer.

We had movie night on the last night, and in the morning we went to apple hill, the monks' retreat house. We did our prayers, and we played games

like extreme Croquet, mafia, and murder in the dark. Murder in the dark lasted till three am.

Since apple hill is far away from big city lights, you can see lots of stars and comets in the sky. One of my best memories from Monkcamp was the watermelon crushing ceremony.

We paint faces of demons on watermelons and smash them with sludge hammers on the bonfire. It was a lot of fun. If you are in seventh or eight grade and want to take part in this awesome experience, you should definitely do it next summer.

Ordinations of Monks into the Priesthood

By George Ahlering ’16 On Saturday August 24th, many of you were probably s l e e p i n g . H o w e v e r, t h e Monastery and Church were very busy. You may have noticed that Brother Cassian and Brother Francis have been missing for quite a while now.

Well, that’s because they were preparing for ordination into the priesthood. Brother Cassian studied at the University of Saint Thomas Aquinas in

Rome, and Brother Francis studied at the Pontifical Faculty of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, DC. After years of study and prayer, Brother Cassian and Brother Francis were both ordained to the priesthood. (Yes, now you must address them as Father Francis and Father Cassian). What made this ordination very unusual was the fact that both are natives of St Louis. Father Cassian is an alum of our very own Priory. However, Father

Francis is an alum of Chaminade (informally known as “Chaminerd,” but we won’t hold that against him.)

Archbishop Robert J. Carlson celebrated the mass and ordained the new priests. Father Francis will continue from where he left off at Priory by teaching in the Theology Department, while Father Cassian will return to Rome to further his theological studies.

Be sure to congratulate them if you see them around campus!

Pretzel Crackers (try them if you haven't)

Mañuel Laboré

Unknown

This symbol has pervaded the school throughout the summer.

Conspiracy theorists suggest that it may be the mark of a secret society that controls Priory from the shadows. It has also been suggested that Fr. Augustine may be involved in said society. For more information, interrogate him.

Notice Due to budget constraints, each issue of The Record will only have 200 copies printed. To make sure everyone gets to read it, please share The Record and return it to the stack instead of recycling it.

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MOVIE S

Movie Review: The World’s End

By Patrick Shanahan ’17 Rating: R; Run Time: 1 hour, 49 minutes; Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Martin Freeman, Rosamund Pike, Paddy Considine and Eddie Marsan; Directed by Edgar Wright Well this has been an odd summer for movies, now hasn’t it? It seems that for every genuinely good movie (Star Trek Into Darkness, Despicable Me 2, Elysium) there is a huge skidmark to complement it (Grown Ups 2, Paranoia, Getaway). There have been surprises: both good (The Conjuring, World War Z) and bad (Iron Man 3, RIPD). There have been tons of questions asked (Did Man of Steel suck?

How come the Lone Ranger did so poorly at the box office?

Why Ben Affleck for Batman?

Why did Morgan Spurlock sign on for the One Direction movie?). All this has led me to ask: if this is the kind of summer that we had, what can we expect from this late-August to September? Well, the answer is soon to come.

I’ve been a huge fan of Edgar Wright’s movies ever since I first saw Scott Pilgrim vs The World, a few years ago.

And to this day, I still think it’s one of my favorite films. Then later, I saw Shaun of the Dead, which was absolutely hilarious, and Edgar Wright was 2-2.

Though I still have yet to see Hot Fuzz, that didn’t stop me

from being absolutely pumped for The World’s End when I first heard its completely outrageous premise: five guys reunite for one night to complete the ultimate bar crawl that they were unable to finish 20 years ago: The Golden Mile.

12 pubs, 12 pints and a whole lot of mayhem. But when they return, they discover that their old hometown has been repopulated by robotic aliens full of blue stuff. That premise alone was enough for me to get excited, let alone that it reunites the old Shaun of the Dead team of Wright, and Stars Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. And yesterday, I saw it. On with the review, then!

As evidenced by my synopsis, the movie’s plot is the exact kind of movie that Edgar Wright is great at making: overthe-top, silly, and utterly hilarious. This movie is ripe with comedy gold. I don’t think I’ve seen a funnier movie in a long time. The dialogue is witty and smart and the story is frantic and fast-paced, all of this being absolutely perfect for this sort of film. There were a ton of quotable lines, like Shaun of the Dead’s “you got red on you” and Scott Pilgrim’s “He punched the highlights out of her hair!” and the final quarter of the movie has the most heart in any Edgar Wright movie I have seen.

Simon Pegg does a wonderful job in his role as Gary King, that one friend that

never grew up, the guy who still lives in the days of yore, wanting relive his memories of partying and having a good time. So naturally, he thinks that all of his friends (all grown up now) are idiots for settling down and having families. He still thinks that being married is a form of giving up, because you just cant handle being fun anymore, so he scoffs at their lives. From this, you get that King is kind of a pathetic and i m m a t u r e c h a r a c t e r, a s evidenced by his old buddies’ reluctance to travel along with him. This climaxes at the aforementioned final quarter of the movie, which, no spoilers, is where Simon Pegg solidified this role as the best acting I have seen him do.

The other members of the group are all (almost) equally as entertaining as King. Nick Frost plays mild-mannered and wealthy businessman Andy Knightley, who has a bone to pick with King and pretty much the world, having shut himself off from everyone. So naturally, when everything hits the fan, he is the most entertaining to watch. Martin Freeman plays Oliver Chamberlain, the resident nerd and real estate agent of the group and the sibling of Gary’s old sweetheart Sam (Rosamund Pike) who is actually the most underutilized character in the whole movie. I honestly feel bad for Pike who, though not my favorite actress, was not given anything to work

Graham Crackers

with. And that’s too bad, considering many funny moments were associated with her character. Getting back on track, Paddy Considine plays Steven Price, a wealthy architect who has actually been through tough times as of late, and was actually the only character who was somewhat excited to get away. And finally, Eddie Marsan plays the Audi salesman and father of two girls.

And the final ingredient for an Edgar Wright movie are his insanely unexpected and wellchoreographed fight scenes, of which there are many. Each one is exciting while also maintaining humor, and there is just the right amount of violence to keep them worthy of good action movies. This actually makes me even more excited for his next project, Marvel’s Ant-Man. All in all, this apocalypse comedy is just what we needed to close out the summer: a hilarious premise and writing, great acting, fun action, and a surprising amount of heart. And so, I deem The World’s End my personal favorite movie of the year (so far) with a 10/10 score to top it all off, a score I do not give often.

Score of 10/10, A Must See: The World’s End is funny, action-packed, heartfelt and well-acted, as well as being my personal favorite film of the year so far.

M USIC & BLOG

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K-Money Reviews Crash Kings And More

Editor’s Picks

By Austin Krueger ’14 Aka K$

1

Who enjoys listening to music?

The answer is, quite simply, everyone. Everyone has their o w n p e r s o n a l i t y, a n d consequently their own taste in music. The problem for many people is that they just don’t know what kind they like, often because they haven’t been exposed to enough music that fits their personality and taste.

Most people who do, like to share their favorite songs with others. That is the purpose of this article, to share my musical taste with all of you readers.

This week, I will be sharing two songs with you.

The first of which is “Mountain Man” by Crash Kings off of their eponymous debut album.

Crash Kings are a truly unique alternative rock band, featuring keyboards with a whammy bar

attachment in place of a guitar.

That’s right, no guitar… and a keyboard with a whammy bar.

This song is a great example of piano-based rock & roll with a neat blend of bass and drums, somewhat reminiscent of seminal blues rock bands such as Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple. I highly recommend Crash Kings, and their song “Mountain Man,” to any fan of rock music. They are an up and coming band with a style all their own.

The next song is “Anna Sun” by the indie band Walk the Moon. This song is all about being young and having fun. It has a care free, summertime feel, which you can all enjoy despite being back in school.

You can think of it as way to soften the blow of returning to school, if you want. “Anna Sun” is highly reminiscent of summer, and can give you

something of summer to hold onto while you re-adjust to the school routine. Any fan of keyboard-oriented pop, with layers of vocal interplay, will enjoy this song. If you want to see Walk the Moon perform live, they will be playing at LouFest in Forest Park this weekend.

That is all I have for you this week, but don’t worry, I will be writing more as the school year continues. In the meantime, feel free to ask me for suggestions on some new bands, and feel free to offer suggestions to me as well. I always love finding new music!

Editor’s note: The Record is always looking for reviews on music and media. If you are interested in writing articles like these, email us at theprioryrecord@gmail.com, thanks!

Michael Blogs: 7th Grader of The Week

By Michael Herman ’14 Content Editor Care to win a date with this strapping young man? Well get in line. Domenick Palmer is the hub of a very large social circle. He is close friends with Sir P Diddy. There is a fairly large chance that on your first date he will take you to the Diddy mansion.

Domenick made his fortune after selling and planting the illustrious sequoia tree throughout our fine campus.

He has given free tours of his trees on Wednesday mornings from 6:00 to 7:45.

The perfect environment to win a date with Master Palmer is on his tours. He will be in his element happy as a clam and open to any friendly

conversation you may have.

Ok, so its settled you will go and talk to him but now you are probably asking what should I bring up?

No fear we here at Michael Blogs know everything like no body’s business. An avid

member of the US taxidermy society Palmer has been known to talk about this subject for up to 3.5 hours without more than two bathroom breaks.

Next mention any hit song from the late 1970s and the spark will go off immediately.

Dancing Queen is one of his top ten all time songs. However any mention of the Bee Gees and you might as well pack your bags right now. In a press conference last week a comment on the Bee Gees almost started a brawl however we may not publish his words as they were insulting to any and all Bee Gees supporters.

All of Saturday night fever has been trashed on the regular. If your encounter goes well please let me know or contact me at

Oyster Crackers

Roar Katy Perry

2 Blurred Lines Robin Thicke

3 Wake Me Up Avicci

4

That’s My Kind of Night Luke Bryan

5 Holy Grail JAY Z

6 Applause Lady Gaga

7 We Can’t Stop Miley Cyrus

8 Radioactive Imagine Dragons

9 Royals Lorde

10 Safe and Sound Capital Cities

8

OPIN I ON Summer Reading Revamp Needed?

Andrew Cammon '14 Editor-in-Chief The mention of summer reading is usually accompanied by much wailing and grinding of teeth. Sometimes this reaction is justified, but for the most part I think that most titles on the summer reading list has a purpose. However there are definitely notable exceptions, and I do think that the list needs a bit of reshuffling.

One valid purpose of summer reading is to expose students to "classic" titles that cannot be covered in the English curriculum, books like The Odyssey, The Old Man and the Sea, Animal Farm, and The

Count of Monte Cristo. These titles come up in conversation, and a student should not finish Priory without reading them.

However, as far as I can tell, books like Crossing Blood and Peace Like a River have no place in a summer reading list.

Maybe they have some sort of message, but summer reading books aren't being read at a desk with a pencil; they're being read in the sun, by the water, in water, or upside down on a hammock. Summer reading is not the time for indepth analysis or personal discovery.

Instead, these other books (books other than the determined "classics") should

focus on inspiring students to read more. I don' think a "student choice book" fulfills this purpose entirely. I think that this book of choice should be kept, but I think that at least one of the assigned books should be intended to inspire that "student choice" requirement.

The books assigned to complement the classics should lead students into exciting genres, down unknown, adventurous, paths. Thriller novels, detective stories, and murder mysteries should be a part of every summer reading list – books that send students to the shelves rather than away from them.

This Is A Fantastic Article By Fr. Linus. Read It.

By Fr. Linus, OSB Headmaster Priory used to have a Cadillac lunch; now, it has a stretch limo. The vast variety of choices nearly overwhelms me.

When I surveyed the offerings on opening day, it took me five minutes to decide on what to have. After I had eaten, I decided to go back for my second choice of entrée – only to discover that there was a long line for it. Since I hate waiting in long lines, I had to figure out a third choice, which

took another few minutes. By the end of lunch, I realized that I had lingered over my food and eaten twice as much as I usually do.

What would St. Benedict say? In Chapter 39 of the Rule, he writes: “Above all, overindulgence is to be avoided, lest a monk experience indigestion. For nothing is so inconsistent with the life of any Christian as overindulgence.”

Oh, what a little piggy I was.

Knowing what a weak creature the monk is, St. Benedict provides prudent

guidelines for the proper amount of food. In that same Chapter he writes the following. “For the daily meals, whether at noon or in midafternoon, it is enough, we believe, to provide all tables with two kinds of cooked food because of individual weaknesses. In this way, the person who may not be able to eat one kind of food may partake of the other. Two kinds of cooked food, therefore, should suffice for all the brothers, and if fruit or fresh vegetables are available, a third

dish may also be added.” Since Priory is a monastic school, it would seem that those guidelines should be followed.

In any case, the stretch limo lunch presents a good opportunity to practice the virtue of temperance. For one to temper his most basic appetites goes a long way towards ensuring that he will be a properly ordered person.

Presented with bountiful possibilities, the temperate man is bound to make good choices.

Michael Blogs: Space Filler Text, Aka The Lunch Menu

By Michael Herman Content Editor For the third week of school Priory lunch begins with a Duck Confit served over mashed potatoes paired with a jelly bean medley. As always

the croissant bar will be open but with a few changes. All jams will be barred from the lunch room thanks to the act passed by the Anti Jam-Jelly club formed at priory a few months ago. Tuesday features a Priory favorite: Whole Lamb on

a spit with hints of Saffron.

The lamb on a spit has been a lunch room staple as long as priory has been open but for the first time there will be no mint jelly. I in no way recommend you bringing in your own mint jelly for the punishment is so

Matza

severe that the ink on this paper would not do the words justice.

Wednesday is three bean casserole with Saffron infused mini franks dipped in honey barbeque sauce probably, but alas the real menu is on the back page. Enjoy lunch.

OPIN I ON

9 Weekly Deal Donuts will be sold in the High School Commons on Thursday mornings starting next week.

Bent Nail #2: Agendas In Sci-Fi

By Chris Hammer ’14 Readers, I am a lover of the science fiction genre. I was raised on Star Wars and Star Trek. In the past few years a disturbing trend has arisen in my favorite genre. Political agendas have started to dominate the plotlines of the biggest sci-fi movies. Below I give my list of the 4 worst offenders who truly sold out and failed to even try to cover their own agenda with a story.

4. Wall-E - I choose to start with a childrens movie to illustrate my point. Political agendas aren’t just being aimed at adult’s, but also at young children. Wall-E takes place in a future world in which humanity has completely used up the resources of earth and has left on a spaceship leaving behind several robots to clean a world covered by a landfill.

Have you figured out the agenda yet? If you're looking for some story to tidy up and cover the blatant agenda, its not there. The movie ends on the tune of we can change the future if you stop buying your evil cars and wasting paper (The film that movies are printed on are terrible for the environment). This global warming film fails to be little else.

3. District 9 - This sci-fi film from producer Peter Jackson focusses on the tail of an alien ship that lands over africa because their ship has broken down. The aliens are

quickly quarantined and kept in an area that can best be described as a trash heap.

Although the message is not immediately apparent in the first half of the movie, it becomes blatant in the second half. The movie turns into a soapbox talk about profiling “species” as lesser and thus keeping them in different areas.

I put species in quotations because it's a metaphor for different races. The movie quickly becomes about segregation and fails to finish the story it started and by my count leaves three massive plot holes unfilled. That's sloppy filmmaking to say the least.

2. Avatar- I don’t think I really need to go into detail on this one but I will anyway.

James Cameron’s blockbuster movie cost 237 million to make and I have to question if they could have taken a million from the stellar special effects and spent it developing a cohesive story that didn’t make me want to kill an entire blue species.

The movie centers around a man who is hired to try and negotiate with a tribe of 9 foot blue humanoids on a planet 4.37 light years away so that a mining company can mine under their sacred shrine, which is a giant tree. However he fails to even mention to them that the humans want to mine there and instead spends his time learning to fly a giant pterodactyl and playing with his pony tail. Fantastic plot so far.

The movie then goes into its

main action where the humans just start attacking the aliens, because they really want that unobtanium (Potentially the greatest name for a fake element). Long story short the tree huggers beat the big mean industrialists teaching the viewer that trees need to be protected and that mining/ fracking is bad.

1. Elysium- The most recently made movie on the list also takes the top spot. This movie fails to even try and hide their agenda. In the trailer for the movie it says “we live on earth” showing images of a destroyed civilization, and “the privileged live on elysium”. I couldn’t think of a better line to establish a 99% vs. the 1% movie. The movie progresses as Matt Damon attempts to break the class structure and tries to fight his way to elysium a.k.a. into the upper class. So as not to spoil the movie for any of you who might choose to go see it (I would advise against that) I won’t say anymore about the plot, however I will say it does little to build upon the agenda other than stating it repetitively.

These were the four I choose to share with you in detail, however the problem doesn’t stop there. Everything from Xmen to the Hunger Games to the absolutely terrible Will Smith movie, After Earth, has its own agenda. I suggest you try to figure those three out and then keep your eyes open because agendas, now more than ever, surround us.

Club Crackers

Auditions Auditions for the February 13-16, 2014 production of

The Music Man

will be held Sunday, November 10 at 4 p.m. in the Kevin Kline Theatre.

Talent If you are talented in any shape, way, or form, please talk to a Student Council or Spirit Club member about performing in the Talent of the Week section at assemblies. Also, if anyone has an accordion that Stuco could borrow for an assembly, it would be greatly appreciated, as Fr. Linus could play said accordion.

Notice The Record is looking for staff writers, photographers, and artists. It has been shown through c a re f u l s t u d i e s t h a t i f yo u contribute to the Record on at least bi-weekly basis, you are more likely to become better looking.

You may notice some severe side effects of being super successful in life and becoming a chick magnet.

Colleges also may start throwing cash at you. If you want to write, send us an email at theprioryrecord@gmail.com, talk to any of the five senior editors, or talk to Ms. Layton.

S PI K EBA L L

10 Events JUNIOR SCHOOL MIXER October 4th

HOME FOOTBALL GAME September 7th

BONFIRE

September 27th

HOMECOMING FOOTBALL GAME September 28th

HOMECOMING DANCE September 28th

Quote Here’s to the crazy ones.

The misfits. The rebels.

The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes.

The ones who see things differently.

They’re not fond of rules.

And they have no respect for the status quo.You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.

Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

- Apple Inc.

The Spikeball Sensation

By Taylor Dubray ’14 STUCO Secretary A thrilling new game is becoming popular among the nation’s youth. Spikeball has been spotted all across the U.S., from the warm, sunny beaches of the California to the chilly, overcast backyards of the east coast. The game is actually quite simple. It begins with the formation of two teams of two, a net that is hung a few inches

off the ground, and a small ball.

Trash talking and mental distractions are completely legal, and with no referee necessary, figurative fists can sometimes start to fly. Similar to volleyball, one team serves the ball against the net, and whichever team fails to volley the ball back against this net loses the point. Points can only be won on a serve, and the first team to 11 wins. The packaging includes a warning label, which

describes the dangers of Spikeball addiction. Some side effects may include intense anger, uncontrollable trash talking, and the need for a celebratory high-five every 10 to 20 seconds. Buy the kit, gather your friends, and you will realize the true greatness of the game of Spikeball. If you are interested in trying the game, talk to a senior STUCO member during X-Period to get a game going.

STUCO Update: Mixer and Homecoming

By Daniel Stein ’14 STUCO Vice-President Welcome to the end of the second week of the year.

Chances are school work is starting to ramp up for you.

You're about to have your first tests. Things are starting to ramp up for us at STUCO as well. The big event to look forward to, of course, is homecoming week. We are excited to announce that the there are plans to host another Spirit Week this year September 23-27. There will be a different theme every day of the week, including the first ever (Dan) Watson Wednesday. Mass will be on Wednesday that week to

accommodate a pep rally on Friday. We are also excited to announce the bonfire, which will take place Friday night, the 27th. This year's bonfire will be a vastly upgraded: think of it as the before party for the homecoming dance. Bring all your friends: there will be great music, dancing, and a special surprise.

You can expect the first STUCO video to be premiered that Monday, September 23rd.

Also, homecoming t shirts will be announced at next week's assembly. This year we are focusing on quality and not so m u c h q u a n t i t y, s o i t i s extremely important for you to get your orders in as soon as

Gold Fish (Do these even count?)

possible.

In junior school news, the mixer is slated for October 4th.

We have spent a lot of time planning this first mixer out and brainstorming ideas to improve our mixers. We have made several adjustments that should make for the best mixer in a while, so get hyped, get psyched, get crunk.

As always, if there is any way you think the experience at Priory could be improved, do not hesitate to let us know.

From mixers to concessions to videos, we are constantly trying to improve Priory. Contact your STUCO representatives if you have any suggestions! Laus Tibi Domine.

C LUB S

11

Medieval Stained Glass Guild: A Brotherhood

By Andrew O’ Sullivan ’14 Guild President It has recently come to my attention that most students and teachers do not know what the Guild does or is about. The Medieval Stained Glass Guild is a brotherhood of artisans founded 22 years ago that is dedicated to learning and practicing medieval art. This a r t i n c l u d e s c a l l i g r a p h y, heraldry, tapestry making, and of course stained glass.

The artworks that everyone knows about are the Jubilee and Millennial windows in the main lobby of the high school. These beautiful windows may look professionally made, but they were made by the Guild, students, and faculty.

The Jubilee window (the one on the left) was made to commemorate the Fiftieth Jubilee of the arrival in Saint Louis of the first monks from Ampleforth Abby, Yorkshire, England.

The Millennial window (the one on the right) was inspired by the 12th century “Jesse Tree” window from the Cathedral of Chartres, France and was built to commemorate the 2000th year of the Incarnation of Our Lord.

Tradition is a large part of the Guild. Everyone has grown accustomed to seeing the flags that line the space between the 100s and 200s. These flags display the crests of past presidents of the Guild. The Guild is very much alive today.

At the end of last school year we held elections for executive positions in the Guild, and my flag will soon join the ranks of past presidents. Jeffrey Bebee was elected Vice President, Carlo Herbosa is the archivist, Danny Martin is the treasurer, and Danny De Simon is the Member at large.

The Guild has a very

unique master and apprentice system. The new members of the Guild are paired up with a master, so that the apprentices can have improved learning and have someone to look up to.

The apprentice then makes a heraldic shield and works on perfecting medieval art. Once a master thinks that his apprentice has gained enough experience to become a master of the Guild, he goes in front of the executives and all the masters of the Guild to plead the case of the apprentice. The masters then vote on whether or not the apprentice will become a master based upon the artwork of the apprentice. If the apprentice is voted in, he becomes a neophyte master. To become a master he must then go to the initiation ceremony.

All the masters have their heraldic shields emblazoned on the wooden table in the medieval arts room.

What needs to be understood about being a member of the Guild is that you do not simply make stained glass. Although most of the members of the Guild revel in creating their own stained masterpieces, you are free and encouraged to try new ideas.

Every year around Christmas, the Guild makes ornaments to sell. Last year, students had the idea of expanding this idea into the Guild store, so the Guild endorsed this proposition. A locked mini-fridge was purchased and we now sell water, Gatorade, and power bars out of it.

We are really looking forward to this year as the Guild expands. We are now finishing work on the Guild’s wooden table, and this spring we will begin work on a handmade medieval boat. That will be a project to look for in the future. I encourage anyone

Window Spotlight Constructed 2000 - 2009 to commemorate the 50th Jubilee of the arrival in St. Louis of the first monks, Prior Columba Cary-Elwes, Father Luke Rigby and Father Timothy Horner of the Order of Saint Benedict from Ampleforth Abbey,Yorkshire, England, on October 19, 1955 Designed by Brother Symeon Gillette, OSB with significant assistance from Willika Moran '00, Micheal McCusker '01, Nayan Behal '03, Patrick Erker '03, Paul Jacobs '03, Ryan Nuemann '03, Patrick O'Neil '03, Paul Renner '03, Edward Schlafly '03, Edward Erker '06, Timothy Halenkamp '06, Charles Schlafly '06, Mrs. Eleanor Moran, and others.

who wants to join the Guild or learn more about the Guild to stop any of the executive

Animal Crackers (Wild card)

members in the hall. We are more than willing talk to you.

Laus Tibi Domine.

12

C O MMUNI T Y

Soccer

XC: “Teamness”

Calendar

By Eric Stange ’14 Content Editor

By Daniel Martin ’14 Cross Country Captain

The varsity soccer team has, admittedly, had an interesting start to the season. In our first game, the Rebels faced an extremely accomplished Ladue squad in the first round of the Metro League tournament, which boasted all-state players from a year ago and a district championship. Last year's Ladue team also fell to Parkway Central in the playoffs last year, who lost in penalty kicks to St. Dominic, the eventual state champions.

However, the team remained unfazed in preparing for this game. In sweltering heat, the Rebels never found their footing early on, and found themselves down very early after some tremendously dubious calls and miscommunication. The Rebels came away from the game with a result that was not anywhere near anyone's expectations, but the team felt it needed to take it upon itself to correct its errors.

In the second game of the tournament, Priory faced a familiar foe in Westminster.

Now playing with midfield maestro Dean Mellas, impact goalie Tristan Hellmuth, a healthy David Gantt, and a new attitude, the Rebels played significantly better, but still not to our limits. After a first half goal, we gained the upper hand in the second half and equalized to send the game into overtime. Around the 97th or 98th minute, the Rebels found a w i n n e r f r o m D a n K e l l y.

Content with the result, but not entirely satisfied yet with our playing, the Rebels look forward to playing our best game yet today, Friday, against Parkway Central at home at 4:15. If you are around, come on out and support the team.

It has officially been over a week since I have recounted to you the myths and legends surrounding the Priory cross country team. Perhaps first, another tale.

Other than Andrew the Electric, there also exists another valiant Rebel warrior.

Though he was isolated by the flow of rushing vehicles, he managed to play real-life Frogger across a giant roadway of multi-ton metal containers hurtling down the Manchester Hill of I-270 to rejoin his team. Basically what this means is that any aspiring drivers should talk to Luke McGartland about his dedication to amazing driving and his cross country team.

However, this was only in training for the upcoming Jefferson Barracks race. Last week, the Running Rebels took to Parkway Central to compete against the largest schools in

Friday, September 6 All School Mass Lunch: Shrimp Scampi

Fish Sliders

the area. The classic Priory Red Sea competed well against the JV runners, though that race was not scored as a team event.

Running against the likes of SLUH, Desmet, Fort Zumwalt, and Mehlville, Priory's valiant varsity runners toed the line of the first race of the season.

With the commitment they made to training beforehand, it was no surprise that Priory ended up beating all the other Class 3 schools and making a good showing against the larger schools. Though this was only a two mile race, it was only a sign of good things to come.

As this is only the first race of the season, and a minor one at that, I have withheld the names of these superb athletes.

More importantly though, they are the members of a Priory cross country TEAM. Look around you. They are your friends, your classmates. These are the runners which the next generation of Priory athletes will remember as great.

Big Helmets Part II

By Stephen Clark ’14 Football Captain Last Friday, August 30th the Priory Rebels took on the Alton Marquette Explorers in a land far from home: Alton, Illinois.

The game was the season opener for both teams, and was a rematch of the season opener last season. Last year the Rebels gave up fourth quarter touchdowns and ended up losing. This year fueled by last year’s loss the Rebels came out running and never looked back.

After being stalled on their first drive the Rebels completely shut down the Explorer ’s offense, and took the ball back

and opened the game up after the first of many incredible punt returns by John Agnew.

The Rebels continued to run the ball down the Explorer’s throats racking up a total of 43 points and over 220 yards rushing, compared to the Explorer’s 24 total yards and 0 points. The Rebels are off to a dominant start and look to continue this Saturday, September 7th, against Lutheran North. We hope to see you there for cowboy theme. If you have anything Cowboy themed do not be shy. Real horses are encouraged along with any bovine creatures you may have wrangled.

Cover Artwork by Grant Dow ’15 ,“Rebel Man”

Saturday, September 7 1:00PM V Football vs. Lutheran North @ Home.

Sunday, September 8 Monday, September 9 Lunch: BBQ Ribs

Lo Mein Supreme 4:15PM JV Soccer vs. Parkway Central @ Home.

Tuesday, September 10 Lunch: Grilled Flank Steak

Chick Spiendi Wendesday, September 11 Lunch: Roasted Herb Chicken

Taco Bar 4:30PM V Football vs. Burroughs @ Home.

Thursday, September 12 Lunch: Grilled Pork Loin

Chicken Reuben Friday, September 13 All School Mass Photo Day Lunch: Pasta Primavera

Buffalo Shrimp