Friday, December 11, 2009
The Record Volume 40, Issue 13
The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School since 1960
Wehking Mops Away Competition 4th year Varsity Wrestling Manager back to lead Rebels this year Patrick Mulvihill, ’10 Editor in Chief
“Brandon Wehking is America.” This simple phrase can be heard all around Priory hallways these days. The First Team All-League football kicker is now in full throttle for his true athletic passion: managing Varsity Wrestling. “I guess the first time I knew I could be something great was when I was in third grade. Mopping just felt natural.” Soon thereafter, Wehking started to grab the attention of high school and college wrestling programs alike. “I got letters from Carnegie Mellon and Marquette before I could even spell them.” After this sudden fame, Wehking travelled around the U.S., looking at schools and even making a a guest appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. It was there that he stole the world renowned Robert McCauley’s title of “the World’s Greatest Wrestling Mat Mopper” at the age of 12. McCauley retired shortly after in a teary speech televised and watched by over 200,000,000 people worldwide. After touring the nation, Wehking decided he wanted to remain close to family and friends and, much to our relief, chose Priory. “It was a tough choice, I’ll grant you that. New Trier (High School in the Chicago suburbs) was offering me a brand new Bentley, but I couldn’t drive at the time, so Priory was my final choice.” Wehking has
blessed the program for three years, but he looks most forward to his final year. “I may be finished with mopping after this year. I have a bad right wrist from last year, and I’m not sure if I want to risk it. I wanna be able to mop with my kids in the backyard, you know?” Wehking has broken every school, city, state, and national record there is to break, excluding the counterclockwise speed mop, which, as Wehking states, is for “those pansy Brits.” The United States Wrestling Mat Mopping Association (USMMA) were made aware of this statement and is seriously considering discontinuing this event now. Priory’s Varsity Wrestling Coach Steve Rolwes labels Wehking as “indispensable.” Varsity Captain Drew Link could not agree more. “I love him like a brother. Well I dunno maybe not
that, but at least a brother-in-law. How could you not with mopping like that?” Rowles continues, “We’ve been a tad inconsistent in the past three years, but rest assured, the mats will be mopped.” Mike Haueisen also is in awe of Wehking’s ability. “I love him more than I love the Blues.” Wehking is unsure of where his mopping future resides. Upon turing 18 in a few months, he will be eligible to take part in the World Mopping Games, but unfortunately he will not be able to represent the U.S. in these upcoming Winter Olympics. Wehking is an inspiration to all as he follows his own dreams of cleaning up the wrestling mats of the world. We can all use his example in our own quests to mop the world of its problems, one mat at a time.