Friday, September 4, 2009

The

Friday, September 4, 2009

Record Weekly Volume 4, Issue 1

The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory High School since 1969

Photo Credit: Mr. John F. Notter

Football Trumps Westminster 28-7 in Season Opener

Sophomore Seve Esparrago (WR) and Senior Tim Davies (DE) celebrate the victory with the team at Webster’s Memorial The Priory Rebels football Mike Haueisen, ‘10 Staff Writer team squared off against the Westminster Wildcats last saturday night, the rebels having beaten the Wildcats for 2 straight years. A slow start by the Rebels' offense forced a punt, which was subsequently followed by a poor defensive start, as the Wildcats capped a scoring drive with a 29 yard touchdown run giving the Wildcats a 7-0 lead.

The Rebels turned up the intensity from that moment on and never looked back. The next offensive possession the Rebels methodically marched the ball down field, getting first down after first down, finally finishing the drive when Matt Jones made something out of nothing, picking up a botched snap and ran it in for a Priory touchdown, tying the score at 7-7.

The drive was highlighted by big catches and plays from Seve Esparrago, as he amassed huge yards and brought the Rebels to the red zone. A few drives later, the Rebels defense found themselves inside their own 30, the Wildcats knocking on the door of another score. The Rebels defensive line was able to knock the ball loose out of a Wildcats running-back, however, and the fumble was recovered by Sam Sagartz. After a Rebels turnover in Westminster territory, the Wildcats tried to go deep down the field, but the ball was poorly under-thrown, and intercepted by Mike Haueisen, giving the offense the field position for another scoring drive. Again, Matt Jones, after failing to find an open receiver, ducked his head and ran for the endzone, scoring another rushing touchdown for the Rebels, putting them up 13-7 at halftime. The second half was dominated by the Rebels who were in better shape than the exhausted Wildcats. In the (continued on back page)

Editorials The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory High School IN THIS ISSUE...

Editorials

page 2

Weekly Update page 3 Sports

page 4

Entertainment page 5 Puzzles

pages 6

The Forum

page 7

THE RECORD STAFF Editor in Chief:

Patrick R. Mulvihill, ‘10 Layout Editor:

Chad E. Huber, ‘10 Content Editor:

Sean J. Lamb, ‘10 Sports/Editorials:

Mike Haueisen, ‘10 Entertainment:

Quinn Underriner, ‘10

In this issue...

Patrick R. Mulvihill, ‘10

Chad E. Huber, ‘10

Mike Haueisen, ‘10

Alex Todorov, ‘10

Saagar Desai, ‘10

Michael Lombardo, ’12 Faculty Moderator:

Mrs. Barbara K. Sams

Friday, September 4, 2009 Volume 4, Issue 1

Arbitrarily Judgementalitastic: The Five Things That Ruined Our Childhoods

was. However, the heads of the Alexander Todorov, ‘10 Editorial Writer entertainment industry have recently begun We all remember our “updating” these things, and childhood, those carefree that is why I stand before years spent basking in you, a broken and bitter man liberty. We also probably (and not because of my epic remember the things that failure announcing lunch). In made our childhood special, this judgment, the five most those movies, games, toys grievous assaults on our that made our youth what it childhood.

1: The GI Joe Movie: There is a pretty good chance that all of us have played with GI Joe sets at one time or another. They were fun, futuristic, had cool tv shows, and best of all, they shot stuff at siblings. However, recently, GI Joe has been cruelly attacked, by its association, with what is quite possibly the worst (continued on page 7)

What Grinds My Gears Peter Griffin

with the help of Mike Haueisen, ‘10

You know what grinds my gears? Movie sequels. With the exceptions of The Mummy Returns and Wayne’s World 2, almost all sequels fail to do the originals justice. The Sandlot 2, however, is just a travesty of epic proportions and it’s a sad thing that the world has to be burdened with its existence. It shouldn’t even be allowed to use the name The Sandlot on it because it disgraces the holy name of the best movie ever I fear for this article because I cannot seem to put into words my overall feelings towards this movie. As I write this, my head is in my hands as I sigh with a complete lack of words in the English vocabulary to express my feelings. Just terrible. I mean it. Absolutely horrible. I’ll do my best to explain why, but I can’t possibly touch all the point relevant to why this movie is so awful.

First, we have the cast. If you’re going to

The Record Disclaimer

make a sequel, it should be relevant to that before it, if its not, choose a new name. There is not one person in the movie that was in the original. The cast of the second movie is terrible, a bunch of irritating kids who clearly have never played baseball because they’re too busy looking good for the camera. It’s disturbing. In the first movie, you get the crème de la crème of good insults. You know the scene, the one where the hot shot kids come in and try to make fun of the Sandlot kids for having inferior baseball skills, and Hamilton “The Babe” Porter starts a namecalling battle with the opposing team’s captain. One of the best scenes in movie history. Anyways, the contest is ended when Porter makes the ever-so-famous last affront, “You play ball like a GIRL!” It was a classic, the line of the movie, and emphasizes the beautiful boys only no girls allowed, boyish mentality of The Sandlot.

So here comes The Sandlot 2 walking along, and by modern movie standards and “political correctness” (continued on page 5)

The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by student editors/staff members. Its purpose is threefold: to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members of the Priory community, including faculty and alumni. For current students, participation in staff meetings is strongly encouraged but not required. Unsolicited material will be given equal consideration if submitted at least two weeks prior to the regular deadline.

The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit.

Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

Friday, September 4, 2009 Volume 4, Issue 1

The Weekly Update The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory High School

Letter from the Editors Last year The Record Weekly added this page, appropriately called ‘The Weekly Update,’ because it is news directly related to the Priory. This page carries a wide array of material, typically produced by non-staff members. Last year, for example, Alex Erker wrote a short post about his band playing at a local restaurant, while The Shield Editors kept the seniors who needed quotes or pictures on schedule by posting here, and Student Council would have a short update at least monthly. Student Council will continue

Weekly Calendar

to do this and has switched to a bi-weekly post to keep all of the student body informed, starting this week. When we started this page we thought of it as an organized bulletin board for anybody who wishes to reach the entire Priory Community. This attitude is still strong today and we encourage clubs, students, faculty, or other individuals to send us a short post with a visual aid. Please talk to the Patrick Mulvihill, Chad Huber, or Sean Lamb for any posts you might wish to make.

Thanks, The Record Staff

Friday, 9/4/2009 Lunch: Cheese Lasagna

Monday, 9/7/2009 LABOR DAY NO SCHOOL

Student Council Update Priory Student Council

Student Council has hit the ground running this year, as we have been working around the clock for the past few weeks on an Introduction Movie and on our awesome plans for the Homecoming Festivities.

The first home football game is Saturday, September 19th and Student Council will be in the concession stand near the grandstands selling our typical array of barbeque, snacks, and drinks. Everybody should come out to the game and help cheer on the football team as they take on Lutheran North at 1pm.

Homecoming is the following week, Saturday September 26th, which will be the day after the traditional Homecoming Bonfire on Friday the 25th. Homecoming TShirts have been designed (take a look around important school bulletins to see for yourself) and we are accepting orders today.

The High School students should have received an Order Form from their advisors on Thursday while the Junior Schoolers

received them this morning. We have several packages going on, which helps save you money, so be sure to take a close look at the envelopes as they contain all the details. A brief explanation of the packages is as follows: in the Junior School you can purchase a t-shirt and pre-order a mixer ticket (Fall Mixer is on October 9th) for $20 or in the High School you can purchase, for the same price, a similar package except the pre-order ticket would be for the Fall Dance on October 24th. The Junior School Advisory who shows the most school spirit by purchasing the most number of t-shirts and mixer tickets will win a free pizza party during lunch on Thursday, September 24th.

The profits from the T-Shirts go directly to fund the Bonfire and its free food, music and giveaways so please support the event and show school spirit by buying a Homecoming T-Shirt. We would appreciate if all students would place their orders for the T-Shirts by giving your envelopes to your Student Council Representative if you are a High School student or by giving them to Mrs. Riefle if you are in the Junior School.

Priory Bookstore Coupon Buy 1 Stadium Seat Cushion/KeyChain Set

Get 1 Half Off with this coupon

Offer ends 9/14/2009

Tuesday, 9/8/2009 Lunch: Country Fried Steak 2:10pm Form V & VI Jesuit

College Fair (commons)

Wednesday, 9/9/2009 Lunch: Italian Grilled Chicken

Thursday, 9/10/2009 Lunch: Scechwan Meatballs 7:15pm Form V Student/ Parent

Meeting (Theater)

Friday, 9/11/2009 Lunch: Pancake Bar

Priory Bookstore Coupon

20% Off

select Bumper Stickers/Car Decals with this coupon

Offer ends 9/10/2009

Sports The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory High School

Sports Calendar

Varsity Soccer Loses in Double Overtime

Friday, 9/4/2009 7pm Varsity Football @ Affton

Patrick Mulvihill, ’10 Editor in Chief

Saturday, 9/5/2009 8:30am Cross Country Lutheran

South Invitational

(Jefferson Barracks) 10am JV Football v. Affton

Tuesday, 9/8/2009

Wednesday, 9/9/2009 4pm JV Soccer @ SLUH 4:15pm C Team Football vs Affton

Thursday, 9/10/2009

Friday, 9/11/2009 7pm Varsity Football @ St.

Dominic

Friday, September 4, 2009 Volume 4, Issue 1

The Rebels Varsity Soccer team started off the season against a very strong Duchesne team. The game started off slowly, with a hectic first half by the Rebels, unable to work the ball through the midfield or produce up top.

Anchored by a strong defense, the team started showing signs of

JV Soccer 1-1 Michael Lombardo, ‘12 Staff Writer

After 3 weeks of practicing the JV season finally began on Tuesday at Duchesne. Priory came out with a 3-5-2 formation and had a few chances early on but didn’t convert them. After that it was a close game with both teams coming close to scoring with neither team dominating, then right before half time a Duchesne pass took an unlucky bounce off of one of the Priory players and landed right at the foot of one of the Duchesne wingers who crossed it in for one of their forwards to tap it in. After that Paul Schulz hit a free kick inches wide of the post with a curling shot and Sam Newman unluckily tripped up on a divot on the field on a breakaway. Priory looked like they were going to equalize but Duchesne then won a free kick on the edge of the box which was crossed in and eventually headed in after a few deflections to make it 2-0 Duchesne.

Priory again came close when Sam Newman broke away and hit the underside of the crossbar with a great shot, but the game sadly ended with a 2-0 loss. Wednesday saw Priory play at home to Westminster and with the help of the incredible field, Priory’s game improved immensely. After looking dangerous on every possession Sam Newman opened the scoring with a free kick that he smashed into the (continued on page 7)

life within the midfield. Freshman Jeffrey Hopson played calmly in his varsity debut, but forwards Andrew Rhodes and Jack Wegmann were unable to get past a strong Pio ne e r d e f e nse . Dou g Ha ll p l ay e d spectacularly in first ever game as a goalie, making several clutch saves, as the game went scoreless into the first and second overtimes. Doug Brooking, Rhodes, and Wegmann all came close to putting it away, especially off of Captain Joe Altepeter’s immaculate free kicks from half field, but ultimately it was a Duchesne corner kick that led to a game winning header in the 97th minute of play the decided the game’s fate. The Rebels come away from the loss with an optimistic look on the game and high hopes for the rest of the season.

XC Prepares for Jefferson Barracks Chad Huber, ‘10 Layout Editor

Cross Country has been training hard since the beginning of August and is looking forward to its first chance to display their talent this coming Saturday at Jefferson Barracks. The varsity team is looking strong for the meet, hosted by Lutheran South, as junior Niall Caparon will take the front position for Priory, closely followed by classmate Kyle Hill and Senior Captain Jon Van Breusegen. Senior Captains Matt Menendez, Billy Fox, and Nick Hedlesky will also be running varsity along side classmate Drew Link.

The team has had a great week of workouts with all runners posting good marks for the speed workout on Wednesday and on Thursday evening they jogged the Jefferson Barracks course that they will be racing on this weekend. Come out and support the team as the Senior-heavy Varsity looks to use experience and speed to take home the first place while the Junior Varsity’s ‘Sea of Red’ will destroy any and all competition in its way.

Friday, September 4, 2009 Volume 4, Issue 1

Entertainment The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory High School

Batman: Arkham Asylum Review inmates of the Asylum are let out of their cells.

Rocksteady Studios, the developer, goes to great lengths to make the inmates and the guards look as though they are living and breathing characters by having them talk to one another and showing their fear and nervousness when attacked by Batman. No details are spared graphic wise. Every aspect of the Asylum looks realistic because of the amount of detail that went into it and also as the game goes on Batman’s suit takes on more damage.

In some situations you are also able to attack your enemies from the dark and put such a fear into them that they start (continued on back page)

Saagar Desai, ‘10 Staff Writer

“Best Batman game ever made.” and “The greatest superhero game made to date.” are just a couple of the statements that have been made to describe Batman: Arkham Asylum. This game takes place entirely Arkham Island, the place where almost every foe Batman has every faced has been kept. In the game Batman’s long time enemy, the Joker, takes control of Arkham Asylum.

With the Joker in control, its not long before the

iTunes Top 10 1. Party in the U.S.A.

Miley Cyrus 2. I Gotta Feeling

Black Eyed Peas 3. Down

Jay Sean 4. Watcha Say

Jason DeRulo 5. Run This Town

Jay-Z 6. Use Somebody

Kings of Leon 7. Good Girls Go Bad

Cobra Starship 8. Hotel Room Service

Pitbull 9. Fallin’ For You

Colbie Caillat 10. She Wolf

Shakira

Grinds My Gears (continued from page 2)

regulations deciding, “Hey! That was a sexist comment! We should ruin the greatest movie of all time by creating a sequel that appeals to everyone by making a whole movie about how girls can beat the guys at baseball!” Way to go Sandlot 2, you did it. The Sandlot 2 focuses on some girls trying to join the team, and when the boys think they aren’t good enough, it causes for a hoot-hollering whacky good time when the girls are good! That was sarcastic, it wasn’t funny. The modern world in which we must dance around everything we say to make sure no one is offended has allowed such a distasteful movie to be made.

The Sandlot is supposed to be about boys growing up, just the guys playing baseball and getting into trouble. The Sandlot 2 ruins the puerile approach by making one of the guys start to like the one of the girls, and oh boy does he get in some awkward situations when he has to mesh his feelings for her with the team and being a guy! Oh brother! Not. So look, why in the world are you calling it The Sandlot 2 if it compromises literally everything that is laid down in the original classic. What happened to integrity? I couldn’t get through

20 minutes of The Sandlot 2, so I can tell you there are more problems with the movie I still have yet to see, but I never will. You could tie me down and put it on and force me to watch it but I won’t see it because my eyes will be waterfalls with all the tears that will be shed having to witness the existence of such an abomination. I just can’t find the words to describe it. If you have the guts, you can watch it yourself, I dare you to get through more then a half hour of it, provided you have already seen the original. There is absolutely no reason they should have put “The Sandlot” before the number “2.” It is completely opposite The Sandlot.

The girls throw underhand. That’s not baseball. Correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s softball. Benny the Jet would be ashamed.

What steaming pile of garbage. A genuine waste of everyone’s time. My gears have been grinded, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the Sandlot 2 is the one of the worst movies of all time, it disrespects the best movie of all time, and is the epitome of the depressing age of dishonesty and deception in the world today.

Young Ivy Top 10 1. Shirt Off 2. Shirt Off 3. Shirt Off 4. Shirt Off 5. Shirt Off 6. Shirt Off 7. Shirt Off 8. Shirt Off 9. Shirt Off 10.Shirt Off Edited by Patrick Mulvihill, ‘10 Contact the editors if you want to provide a Top 10 Playlist of your own for the band or artist of your choice and it could appear in The Record Weekly in the future...

Puzzles The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory High School

Friday, September 4, 2009 Volume 4, Issue 1

Crossword Puzzle ACROSS 1. European mountains 5. Tattle 9. Played charades 14. What we walk on 15. Shaft on which a wheel rotates 16. An adult insect 17. Across 18. Door-to-door cosmetic company 19. A small fatty European fish 20. Intense aversion 22. Directs 23. A resin used in incense 24. Influence peddler 26. Amusing 29. A type of lottery 33. Decreased 38. Breed of penguin 39. "Smallest" particle 40. Tired 42. Bituminous fuel 43. Type of sausage 45. Protective coverings or structures 47. Purloined 48. Lyric poem 49. Large serving spoon

Easy

Sudokus

52. Chores 57. Bridges 60. Compulsion 63. Desert animal 64. Slender woodwind instrument 65. A three-tone Chadic language 66. Develop 67. Vend 68. Always 69. Alloy of copper and zinc 70. Current 71. Not fake DOWN 1. Previous 2. Even 3. Vex 4. Play a guitar 5. Sheep sounds 6. Sixty-six in Roman numerals 7. Standoffish 8. Source of sesame seeds 9. Give false information 10. Flawed 11. Hare-like rodent 12. A mild expletive

13. Spots 21. The state of living 25. Took a medical photograph 27. Relax 28. Born 30. A flat mass of floating ice 31. Teller of untruths 32. Snake-like fishes 33. Young girl 34. French for "State" 35. Alone 36. Minuteness 37. Hyrax 41. 17th letter of the Greek alphabet 44. A childhood disease 46. Permits 50. Not tight 51. Receded 53. Anagram of "Stare" 54. Strainer 55. A divided Asian peninsula 56. Growl 57. Forms on a wound 58. Young salmon 59. Genus of the dogfish 61. Vended 62. Like a snake-like fish

Hard

Cryptogram

- Derek Zoolander

Friday, September 4, 2009 Volume 4, Issue 1

The Forum The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory High School

JV Soccer

Word Search

(continued from page 4) WORDBANK basic bride brink charts cheap check cheerful chime choice churn coins covert curling drawer final freezer fright gent greed hammer

hearth horse issue medical modern nuhchdeh ongoing rare rear saner sister sled sole stone sweet teen testing tire winter wreck

Arbitrarily Judgementalistastic (continued from page 2)

movie of the year. This unforgivable crime against children tried to turn GI Joe into something it is not, of this world. It replaced harmless lasers, cool transforming tanks, and Kim Jong I- I mean “cobra commander”, with a boring teen flick. Even the costumes (you know what I am talking about…) could not redeem this “movie”.

2: Pokemon after Gold and Silver: Pokemon was a fixture of our childhoods by the dawn of the millennium, and rightly so. The games were fun, exciting, and had great (for our age) conspiracy storylines. It was like the Bourne Identity with cute cartoon animals. And pre teens. And no kills. BUT IT WAS STILL AWESOME. Unfortunately, once it switched to the Game Boy Advance, it switched to your standard Japanese uplifting “child chosen one”. Even your rival, once the epitome of all you despised, who stood in your way every time you tried to advance (still a little bitter about that, jerk) was not left unscathed. He is now your “friend” who “sees how you are doing”. We did not want a friend; we wanted someone

to grovel before us in awe of our genius we cackled madly! And clinging to our teddy bears, the finest henchmen known to a child.

3: Brett Farve: The class of 2010 grew up during the hey day of the “Farvinator”. He was god, and the football was his chosen prophet.

Which brings us to today: what was once the childhood idol of millions has now become the Rolling Stones of football. Brett, you are too old! Just retire (permanently, haven’t you caused us enough pain?) and let our memories of you rest in peace! Please, we beg you. Let our childhood die with dignity. Or at least decide what the heck you want to do, jeez how many times can you retire?

4: The Batman movies: This is a rather painful thing for me to write, because the Batman movies were really good. However, they are not the Batman we remember. We remember the Warner Brothers animated series, which was dark and edgy, but still had some of the original batman magic. We remember a funny Joker, a Joker who made us laugh, even as he brutally

bottom corner. It didn’t take long for Westminster to equalize though, scoring on a breakaway. Priory continued to dominate after the goal and took back the lead after a great set of passes was fished off by Paul Schulz who beat a defender and placed the ball past the goalkeeper to make it 2-1 Priory at halftime. Priory added another ten minutes into the second when Sam Newman took the ball and made a great run past the Westminster defenders and finished. Paul Schulz, Patrick Schaefer, Kevin Ludwig and Nico Stillman all came close to scoring a fourth goal but the win never looked in doubt as Priory cruised to a 3-1 win and it could have easily been more. Overall a much better team performance as everyone picked up their game after the defeat to Duchesne.

JV looks forward to another successful year. murdered thousands. Ah, good times.

Unfortunately, the movies went too far down the dark rabbit trail, and ended up in thrillerville. Thus, instead of conjuring images of killer joy buzzers, deadly laughing gas, acid poison flowers, “let’s bring a smile to that face” now conjures up images of knives and Jason Voorhees.

5: Transformers 2: This movie was so bad, even Megan Fox could not save it. Let me repeat that, even Megan Fox could not make this movie watchable.

This movie is so bad, that even Batman and Robin looks good compared to it. It took my fondest childhood memories out into the woods and shot them. Now, every time I pick up Optimus Prime, I can’t help but weep, and think “what have they done to you?” What heinous villain could do this to our generation?

Michael Bay, I proclaim a curse upon thee! May you be forced to listen to me read the lunch announcements 24/7!

Okay, maybe that’s a little extreme, but you get my point...

Friday, September 4, 2009 Volume 4, Issue 1

The Record Weekly The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory High School

Football Defeats Westminster (continued from front page)

Senior Mike Haueisen brings in an interception, resulting ultimately in a Jones rushing TD.

3rd quarter, the Rebels put together another scoring drive, which ended in a 10 yard pass from Matt Jones to Billy Busch for yet another Rebels touchdown.

Matt Jones rushed in the 2-point conversion to make the score 21-7 heading into the 4th quarter. A series of strong defensive stands from the Rebels kept the Wildcats from scoring any more points, and the ball in the hands of the offense, which was able to score one more touchdown, on a 1-yard run by Colin Bruns, to bring the score to 28-7; where it would stay until the end of the game, which

featured a touchdown saving defensive play from Andrew Halenkamp as he batted the ball out of the Wildcat receivers grasp to end the game. The Rebels dominated the Wildcats after a slow start and shut down their offense with a dedicated defense. We were able to display a prolific offense that can move the ball, propelling Priory to a 3rd straight win over Westminster. The Rebels have a game Friday night at Affton, be sure to try and come out to cheer the Rebels on to another victory!

Arkham Asylum (continued from page 5)

Photo Credits: Mr. John F. Notter Junior Colin Bruns running through the Wildcat defense as the crowd watches on.

shooting at every shadow that they see and fall into your traps. You are also able to use Batman’s detective mode to follow DNA trails left behind by people and also to solve the Riddler’s puzzles. The melee system beautifully highlights Batman’s brutal efficiency in martial arts.

Even when the odds are against you, you feel that you will win.

His gadgets bring you to a whole new level when navigating through the island. Much like the Zelda games, areas of the Asylum are locked until new gadgets are acquired.

Most places that are locked contain worthwhile things such as experience point to upgrade your arsenal or audio recordings of different inmates’ stories such as Killer Croc of the Scarecrow.

I give this game a 4.5 out of 5 stars, and recommend it to any gamers or Batman fans.

An onslaught of Rebels making a tackle. Note Ray Bayer (#70) on the right.

Editor in Chief: Patrick R. Mulvihill, ’10

THE RECORD Layout Editor: Chad E. Huber, ’10 Content Editor: Sean J. Lamb, ’10

Moderator: Barbara K. Sams