Real Health Winter 2012

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REALHEALTH YOUR GUIDE TO BLACK WELLNESS

High Hopes For The At-Home HIV Test Basketball Wives Star

Tami Roman

On Bouncing Back From Sexual Abuse

WINTER 2012 $2.99 US REALHEALTHMAG.COM

Say So Long To Annoying Wet Hair Shrinkage

Be An Advocate For Your Autistic Child





CONTENTS

Taking Diabetes To Heart

American Idol’s Randy Jackson is promoting a new program to help other people with type 2 diabetes commit to a more health-friendly lifestyle.

4

editor’s letter

6

buzz

Health Basics A—Z

Want to lose weight, exercise smart, eat right, find good health care, boost nutrition, sleep better or just get healthy? For tips, click on “Health Basics A–Z” on the realhealthmag.com home page.

Healthy Eating

Check out blogger Rhonda Peter’s advice about using nutrition as well as fitness to create a better lifestyle that builds and maintains your health.

Real Health Advice What you don’t know can hurt you during a hospital stay, so take the time to read this book long before you may have to get checked in.

Digital Real Health

Read Real Health magazine online exactly as it appears in print. Go to realhealthmag.com/ digital to view the current issue and the entire Smart + Strong digital library.

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Length: Is that all there is to hair?

Will the at-home HIV test help lower HIV rates?; FDA approves PrEP for people who are HIV negative; free HIV testing for women; parents advocate on behalf of autism; ensuring safety during surgery; the high cost of obesity

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nutrition

12

fitness

14

sex

Tactics to lose weight; defining food expiration dates; are genetically modified foods safe?

16 COVER STORY

taking control

Why Basketball Wives star Tami Roman turned to therapy to tackle the sexual abuse in her past

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a taste for health

24

slipping away

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lengthy proceedings

32

thoughts

Avoiding common exercise errors; family fitness can be fun

Do you know how to use condoms correctly?; Ask Your Family Doctor

Good news for people with type 2 diabetes: Eating well can actually help reverse the disease!

Why recognizing the link between heart disease and dementia is key to successful treatment

Easy ways to overcome African-American hair shrinkage. Plus: Stuff We Love

If seasonal changes darken your days, just lighten up!

Contributor Question of the Month

Will the at-home HIV test encourage more people to check their status? I think very few people will use the HIV at-home test because many are still afraid to find out their status. While the test allows you privacy, it can’t remove the stigma associated with the virus. —Willette Francis

reach out & click!

At realhealthmag.com, you can read more articles; access exclusive, online-only special reports; meet other health-minded black singles; and subscribe ($9.97 for four quarterly issues; you can also call 800.973.2376). Plus, sign up for the Real Health email newsletter to get the latest black health news!

(COVER) COURTESY OF TAMI ROMAN; (JACKSON) LUCIAN CAPELLARO; (PETERS) COURTESY OF RHONDA PETERS; (AUTISM) ISTOCKPHOTO.COM/KIM GUNKEL; (BRAIN) ISTOCKPHOTO.COM/JULIEN TROMEUR; (MAN) ISTOCKPHOTO.COM/GINOSPHOTOS; (FRANCIS) COURTESY OF WILLETTE FRANCIS

this month on REALHEALTHMAG.COM

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EDITOR’S LETTER

Is That All There Is?

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ength and texture. For years, these two words summed up all that mattered to me when I thought about my hair. But despite what you might be thinking, I wasn’t a black girl who wanted long, straight hair. I craved a thick head of nappy, kinky curls that I could braid into fat, chunky plaits that hung past my shoulders. I visualized how, as they unfurled, they would frame my face like a fierce, fluffy mane. Alas, my hair journey to this desired destination was sidetracked by many unfortunate detours. The first happened when I entered elementary school. There, I fell victim to the straight-hair-is-more-manageable myth, and my tresses suffered the first setback. I began pressing my hair. The result? The more my hair received hot comb kisses, the further away from my goal it took me. By high school, I’d graduated to wearing wigs. The length and lush volume of my childhood hair had fled. What else was there to do but cover up what was left, I thought. Then, quite by accident, I learned that my hair could bounce back. I’d been wearing a weave for several years and stopped going to the salon for servicing. I’d come to hate that long trek to the beauty parlor where heavy-handed hairstylists would apply relaxer to my reverted roots to blend the newly straightened strands into the added hair I sported. At the age of 30, I called it quits. I started doing my own hair and decided to say bye-bye to using chemicals to straighten my curls.

Unfortunately, right off the bat I faced a problem: I didn’t want to immediately remove the weave. So my roots reverted, and the new growth wrapped itself around the base of the weave. Despite any possible repercussions, however, I left the matter alone. When I decided to remove the sections of weaved-in hair, I realized they’d become almost permanently attached. In a panic, I applied the chemical relaxer I’d sworn off. But common sense prevailed. I left the relaxer on only for the time it took for my tightly curled hair to straighten enough and unwind itself from around the sewn-together base of the weaved hair (a.k.a. wefts). Then, I carefully loosened my own hair from the wefts and gently pulled them apart. Next, to reduce damage, I rubbed oil into the areas where the hair had been attached. Then, I combed out tangles with a wide-tooth comb. Evidently, the years of not using a relaxer had paid off. Finally, my hair was in its natural state. Not only that, but it was long enough for me to put into two thick braids. But instead of leaving my hair alone, I decided to get another relaxer—just to see how how long my hair was when it was totally straight. About one year later, when the stylist combed my tresses, all I heard was snap, crackle and pop; my hair had broken off again. That’s why one sunny summer afternoon when I went in for a touch-up, I bid my stylist adieu. Once I left the salon, I never looked back. Nearly 20 years have passed since then. Countless fashions and hairstyling trends have come and gone, but my natural braids and hair are here to stay. I think it’s a timeless look, don’t you? Here’s to your health,

JOAN LOBIS BROWN

Kate Ferguson, Editor-in-Chief katef@realhealthmag.com

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REAL HEALTH EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Kate Ferguson MANAGING EDITOR

Jennifer Morton COPY EDITOR

Trenton Straube ART DIRECTOR

Steve Morrison ART PRODUCTION MANAGER

Michael Halliday PUBLISHED BY

Smart + Strong Publishers of POZ and POZ.com PRESIDENT AND COO

Ian Anderson

EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT AND PUBLISHER

Megan Strub COMPTROLLER

Dennis Daniel INTEGRATED ADVERTISING COORDINATOR

Ross Zuckerman

DIRECTOR, INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY

Andrej Jechropov

CDM PUBLISHING LLC

Jeremy Grayzel, CEO

ADVISORY EDITOR

Sean Strub

ADVISORY BOARD

Lee SaintMartin, MS, IIPA, CN, ND, naturopath; Goulda Downer, PhD, RD, CNS, and Nutrition Services, Inc.; Yuan Wan, licensed acupuncturist and doctor of traditional Chinese medicine; Dr. Rachael Ross, MD, PhD, sexologist; Lovell Harris, MD, internist; Terrie Williams, mental health advocate; Xavier Artis, campaign creator, Stay Strong: Healing Starts With Us (HSWU)

Issue No. 32. Copyright © 2012 CDM Publishing LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system or transmitted, in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher. If you are an individual or organization and would like to subscribe to Real Health, go to real healthmag.com or call 800.973.2376. Send feedback on this issue to info@ realhealthmag.com or Real Health, c/o Smart + Strong, 462 Seventh Ave., 19th Floor, New York, NY 10018. Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.



Know Your Status In 8 Easy Steps

Will the at-home HIV test help reduce transmission rates?

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hen the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved the OraQuick In-Home HIV test for overthe-counter sales, the news caused a big buzz. The test, available since October, makes it super easy for people to find their status—in the privacy of their homes—within just 20 minutes. How the test works is very simple. Just swipe the absorbent pad once along your upper and lower gums to collect oral fluid. Next, stand the swab in a vial of liquid developer—the test stick holder—for 20 minutes. If one bar appears in the test stick’s window, you’re HIV negative; two means you’re HIV positive. The big plus of this test, says Elliott Cowan, PhD, chief of the FDA’s Division of Emerging and Transfusion Transmitted Diseases, is that the test is 6 R E A L H E A LTH WIN T E R 2012

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available to many people who would not otherwise get tested. “There’s a large group of people who are infected and don’t know it,” Cowan says, referring to the one in five HIV-positive Americans unaware of their status. “And even if they are engaged in behaviors that would put them at risk of getting HIV, they may be reluctant to visit their doctor or a health care facility where they can be tested.” Cowan believes that the in-home HIV test will help more HIV-positive people learn their status, and, in turn, reduce transmission of the virus. (Once people know they’re living with the virus, not only can they abstain from behavior that puts others at risk—they can also start taking lifesaving meds that lower their viral load and thus Swipe gums; make them less likely to check pass along the virus.) results. But other health profes-

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sionals have expressed concerns about the in-home rapid test. One big uncertainty is whether those who test positive will be able to link to care and then treatment just as quickly. “My worry is that it’s already difficult enough for newly diagnosed patients to get appointments set up with the assistance of counselors at testing centers,” says Christopher Hurt, MD, an assistant professor in the Division of Infectious Diseases at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. “How can we expect people who choose to test outside of the existing system to then seamlessly enter and navigate that system on their own?” To help ensure that people who test positive don’t fall through the cracks, Hurt suggests that at-home HIV rapid tests direct users to report their status and seek post-test counseling in person, online or by phone. This approach would also provide more accurate information about HIV incidence, Hurt says, “and enhance our ability to facilitate linkage to care.” Another concern is the possibility that the tests may give false negatives (which will happen to about one out of every 12 people who are actually positive) or false positives (which will happen to about one out of every 5,000 people who are in fact negative). Hurt is most concerned about false negatives because of “the potential for people to use rapid tests as ‘point-ofsex’ testing, or as permission to forgo condoms.” There is also the issue of the window period—the three-month period directly after infection when the home test kit might not detect HIV antibodies. Plus, Hurt points out, “we also know that during the window period, people tend to have very high viral loads and are therefore highly infectious to others.” There’s also the price issue. Many people at greatest risk of HIV, such as young, black men who have sex with men, don’t have the resources to fork over the $39.99 many outlets are charging for the OraQuick test. In general, Hurt believes the athome rapid test is a good thing to help people become aware of their status. He just wants people to think hard about how to best use the test.

(ORAQUICK) COURTESY OF ORASURE

BUZZ


If you have diabetes, you are at high risk for heart attack and stroke. But you can fight back. You can control the ABCs of diabetes and live a long and healthy life. Ask your health care provider what your 1C,

lood pressure, and

holesterol

numbers are and ask what they should be. Then talk about the steps you can take to reach your ABC goals. You have the power to help prevent heart attack and stroke. Control your ABCs.

Talk to your health care provider today.

For a free brochure about the ABCs of diabetes, call 1-800-438-5383 or visit www.ndep.nih.gov. A message from the National Diabetes Education Program, sponsored by the National Institutes of Health and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention


BUZZ And even then, “there are things people can do to reduce these symptoms, such as taking the medication with food at night before going to bed,” Liu says. But here’s the biggest problem: For best results, people must take the pill each and every day. That’s because the meds must build up in your system in order to work, and researchers aren’t sure how many doses you can miss and still have protection. Still, if life happens and you miss a dose, get back on track by taking a pill a day. But, Liu warns, “If you miss doses frequently, it can be helpful to talk with your clinician who can discuss strategies to help with pill taking.” But docs have other concerns about Truvada as PrEP. One is how the drug will affect people’s kidneys and bone density long-term. Another is the possibility that people who skip doses might contract HIV that is resistant to the meds. And then there’s the worry that folks might engage in risky behaviors because they’ve popped a pill and think they’re protected. (PrEP is supposed to be used in addition to condoms, not as a substitute for them.) On the consumer side, advocates point out that the $1,200 per month price tag makes it out of reach for many at risk—especially those without health insurance benefits. Still, many doctors feel PrEP is a great option for people who have ongoing potential HIV risk. Specifically, it might be appropriate for men who have sex with men, transgender women and HIV-negative heterosexuals who have positive partners not yet on a drug treatment regimen.

If you’re at risk of HIV, consider asking your doctor about PrEP.

Leave Nothing to Chance

HIV negative? Now, with PrEP, many can pop a pill to help stay that way. This July, the Food and Drug Administration approved a pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) to help keep folks HIV negative. PrEP involves taking a daily dose of HIV meds—in this case, Truvada—to lower the risk of contracting the virus. The approval was met with both optimism and caution. Truvada is a combination pill of two drugs (tenofovir and emtricitabine) commonly used for HIV treatment.

The percent of reduction in the risk of contracting HIV for sexually active heterosexual men and women when they take PrEP each day. 8 RE A L H E A LTH WIN T E R 2012

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FOR LADIES ONLY

Millions of women can better protect themselves from HIV—and it’s free! Listen up: The Affordable Care Act includes free HIV screening and counseling as one of eight preventive services for women that private insurance plans must cover, without cost-sharing. That means about 47 million women in these kinds of plans will be better able to control their health care. “We are pleased [that Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sibelius] singled out HIV testing as one of the additional preventive services private insurance plans must cover for women, many of

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whom often do not realize they are at risk of HIV,” says Marylin Merida, president of The AIDS Institute. The law is a big deal because of the more than 1.1 million people living with HIV in the United States, nearly one quarter are women. What’s more, among all people living with HIV in the country, almost 20 percent don’t know they are infected. What does this mean for you? Well, if you don’t know your HIV status and you’re in an eligible plan, why not just go get tested?

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“When taken as PrEP, Truvada can block HIV replication from occurring and prevent HIV from establishing infection in the body,” explains Albert Liu, MD, MPH, the director of prevention interventions at the San Francisco Department of Public Health. The other good news about PrEP is that Truvada boasts few side effects beyond the annoying gastro-intestinal discomfort some people experience.


Educating, Inspiring and Empowering the HIV/AIDS Community Since 1994

poz.com An ofďŹ cial media partner of the XIX International AIDS Conference (AIDS 2012)


BUZZ

SPOKEN FOR When autistic children can’t speak up for themselves, parents must be their voice.

MISSING PIECES What happens when surgeons close you up and leave medical instruments inside?

Imagine that you undergo surgery, and then a follow-up exam reveals that your doctors left a little something behind—some gauze, a tool or other totally foreign object. Each year, there are up to 2,000 cases of retained surgical items (RSIs) left inside U.S. patients, according to Nothing Left Behind, a national surgical patient safety project that helps prevent these potentially serious medical errors. These costly mistakes can put patients at risk of unnecessary pain, expensive follow-up procedures and, in the most extreme cases, even death. But thankfully, medical staffs have help. Hospitals can employ groups such as Nothing Left Behind to help prevent RSIs. These organizations use manual and computerized programs to account for every sponge, tool and any other item used during surgery. If the numbers don’t add up, some programs even alert operating room teams before they close up their patients, averting potential errors. But patients can also be proactive. Before you agree to a procedure, make sure to look into the hospital’s RSI events, suggests Tracy Pfeifer, MD, a plastic surgeon in New York City. For starters, log onto healthgrades.com and search under “patient safety indicators.” And talk with your doctor about what hospital programs are in place to ensure your safety both during and after surgery. —Janna Leyde

A Community Crisis

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Although obesity threatens all Americans, black folks can end up suffering the most. U.S. waistlines began ballooning about 30 years ago, but today, African Americans carry around more weight than people of other races, and that can spell disaster. “Because of this, black people also tend to have higher rates of other chronic illnesses, such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes,” says Justin G. Trogdon, PhD, a health economist at RTI International, a nonprofi t research group. Indeed, a recent study conducted by Duke University predicts a 42 percent increase in obese adults by the year 2030, with related health conditions to cost $550 billion to treat. As a result, in recent years, states and the federal government launched anti-obesity campaigns to promote healthier lifestyles. But Trogdon suggests we also use common-sense ways to fight the fat. “As a community, help make healthy choices easier for people. For example, at the next church picnic, eat grilled chicken instead of fried, or fruit instead of cake for dessert.” —Janique Burke

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80 PERCENT OF BLACK WOMEN AGE 20 OR OLDER ARE OBESE.

Source: The Office of Minority Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

(AUTISM) ISTOCKPHOTO.COM/KIM GUNKEL; (INSTRUMENTS) SHUTTERSTOCK.COM/PRA_ZIT; (SCALE) ISTOCKPHOTO.COM/LDF

Last year, a Los Angeles Times series on autism—a complex developmental disability—exposed California for spending more money on autistic white children than on autistic African Americans and other kids of color. The article caused a stir. “This disparity is scandalous,” says Areva Martin, a lawyer who is the founder, president and CEO of Special Needs Network Inc., a nonprofit that advocates on behalf of children with developmental disabilities. “It may raise a constitutional question of systematic deprivation and denial of services. It is certainly a civil rights issue. But what’s more, it’s simply bad practice to prevent thousands of children from getting the services they need.” Martin’s passion about the issue grew after she found it difficult to get the special services she needed for her autistic son, Marty. Today, she urges parents to educate themselves about the condition so they can advocate for their kids. Says Martin, “Don’t be afraid to ask questions, even if you think it’s a silly question.”


NUTRITION

Pounds Off for Good Behavior Three simple and successful tactics for losing weight

Although middle-age spread is the bane of, well, most every middle-age person’s existence, some women do manage to shed pounds. Is there a secret to their slimming success? Maybe. And regardless of your diet and exercise regimen, if you follow a few simple habits you may also get on the path to fewer pounds. The winning strategy comes from a weight-loss study conducted by Seattle’s Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center. It looked at 123 overweight-to-obese, inactive women, ages 50 to 75, who managed to lose, on average, 10 percent of their weight. Researchers divided participants into two groups: One did nothing but diet, and the other employed diet and exercise. The women in both groups did three things: They recorded all the food they ate; they didn’t skip meals; and they just said no to eating out, especially at lunchtime. The result? Both groups lost weight, but the women who followed those three rigorous rules lost more pounds than those who didn’t. Want to try it out? Researchers advise women to keep it simple when following the three-point strategy. Just use any piece of paper or smartphone to jot down what you eat; enjoy timely meals; and prepare, cook and eat at home to control ingredients, cooking methods and portion sizes. But of the three weight-loss tactics, scientists stressed keeping a food journal as the most important. “It is difficult to make changes to your diet when you are not paying close attention to what you are eating,” says Anne McTiernan, MD, PhD, director of the Hutchinson Center’s Prevention Center. So, tell me, what was the name of that dish you just served?

(WOMAN) DREAMSTIME.COM/R. GINO SANTA MARIA; (STEAK) ISTOCKPHOTO.COM/SPAULN; (SHOPPING CART) ISTOCKPHOTO.COM/JAKUB JIRSÁK

3 to 5 weeks

THE AMOUNT OF TIME FRESH, UNCOOKED EGGS CAN BE REFRIGERATED BEFORE GOING BAD. Source: United States Department of Agriculture’s Food Safety and Inspection Service

Time’s Up?

What expiration dates on food products really mean. Ever wonder if the unopened yogurt in the back of your refrigerator is still good to eat—even if it’s a week past the date stamped on the package? Maybe you open it and take a sniff, or turn it this way and that under a bright light to see if it looks OK. Well, while nose and eye tests are iffy at best, there are basic food rules you can use as a guide: “Sell by”: Buy the product before the date expires. (Stores use this as a guide for when to pull a food off the shelf.) “Best if used by (or before)”: For best flavor or quality, it is recommended that you eat or use the product by this date. “Use by”: This is the last date the manufacturer recommends you eat the food to taste it at peak quality. But it is still edible. What’s also important: Follow proper handling, preparation and storage procedures to avoid food cross-contamination and spoilage as well as foodborne illness. And let’s not toss this common sense advice: When in doubt, throw it out!

ALTERED STATES

What can go wrong when companies serve up genetically modified foods? OK, what’s so bad about splicing and dicing DNA to raise crops that resist plant diseases and insects? Not to mention tinkering with genetics to stock future farms with more nutritious vegetables and bigger, stronger plants or animals that end up in our food supply. According to the American Academy of Environmental Medicine (AAEM), an international association of physicians and other professionals, there is cause for alarm. Mounting data from animal studies show infertility, accelerated aging and changes in structure and function of major organs, including the liver and kidneys. Such findings convinced them it is biologically possible for genetically modified foods “to cause adverse health effects in humans.” In fact, the executive committee of the AAEM recommended a moratorium on these foods, as well as implementing independent safety tests, and labeling genetically modified foods for the health and safety of consumers.

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W IN TER 2012 RE A L H E A LTH 1 1


FITNESS

8,500

THE MINIMUM NUMBER OF STEPS AN ADULT SHOULD WALK EACH DAY TO STAY PHYSICALLY ACTIVE. SOURCE: U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH & HUMAN SERVICES

Avoid these common exercise errors.

Don’t work out on an empty stomach. When your body isn’t properly fueled with the right food, you may exercise less vigorously. The result? Fewer calories burned. “Try eating a small, rapidly digestible carbohydrate and protein snack, such as a banana and 4 ounces of nonfat plain yogurt, about 30 to 60 minutes before you exercise,” suggests Jessica Matthews, MS, an exercise physiologist with the American Council on Exercise. Don’t stretch without warm-ups. “When muscles aren’t completely warmed up, this may lead to strains and pulls,” Matthews says. The remedy? Spend five to 10 minutes doing arm circles or leg swings. This loosens muscles and makes joints more flexible, which in turn reduce injury risks. After your muscles are warm and loose, then stretch. Don’t skip the cool-down. It’s not good to stop moving as soon as you’re done working out. Instead, do several minutes of low-intensity, cool-down exercises. This keeps blood flowing to the heart and helps your muscles recover more quickly. —Eric Minton 1 2 RE AL H E A LTH WIN T E R 2012

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WALK THIS WAY

Moms, dads and kids who work out together, stay healthier together.

Married to a couch potato? Kids glued to the computer or TV? To get them physically active, “create a positive, bonding, fun, family fitness experience that offers a platform for a lifelong love of being active,” says Debi Pillarella, MEd, a fitness specialist with the American Council on Exercise. This means no bossy “drill-sergeant” calisthenics—and never, ever use exercise as a punishment. Pillarella recommends parents interest themselves and their kids in the following activities: ● Biking,

hiking, kayaking or bird-watching in scenic outdoor locations

● Sports

and games that appeal to a family member’s competitive side, such as touch football, tennis or bowling

● Unstructured

active play, such as jumping rope, playing tag or spinning a Frisbee

But before the fun and games begin, remember that younger kids need adult supervision to avoid injury while exercising, especially for weight training and sports. Ask your pediatrician what’s age-appropriate for your kids. — EM

ISTOCKPHOTO.COM/DEREK LATTA

Don’t Just Do It, Work Out Right


Got Ink?

ISTOCK

An estimated 3-5 million Americans are living with hepatitis C. Most don’t know it. Get tested today. Find out how at hepmag.com.


SEX Ask Your Family Doctor Rachael L. Ross, MD, PhD, a.k.a. Dr. Rachael answers your questions.

RIGHT ON!

Condoms can prevent unwanted pregnancy and STIs, but only if you use them correctly. Many people believe they know how to use a condom, but according to recent findings published in the journal Sexual Health, the evidence says otherwise. Searching through articles in peer-reviewed journals, researchers looked for references to improper prophylactic use encountered in 14 different countries. The most common error? Folks did not use condoms all the way through sex; instead, they applied the condoms after they already started sex or they removed them then resumed sexual intercourse. Other problematic habits include not fully unrolling the condom, not leaving enough space at the tip, not squeezing air from the tip, putting the condom on wrong then turning it over to use, beginning sex before unrolling the condom to the base of the penis, using a damaged condom, sliding the condom on with no lubrication or with an oil-based lubricant (oil-based lubes can weaken the condom), withdrawing after sex without holding the base of the condom, reusing a condom during the same sexual episode, and using an incorrectly stored or expired condom. Though these mistakes may seem trivial, they can expose sexual partners to infection from skin-to-skin contact or exposure to genital secretions. What’s the takeaway? RH suggests: Don’t just wrap it up—wrap it up right!

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Percentage of women, ages 15 to 44, who have ever had sexual intercourse with a partner who used a male condom. Source: National Center for Health Statistics, 2006–2010

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For all relationships, sexual satisfaction revolves around giving and receiving. If your partner is either unable to or refuses to perform oral sex, it’s time to slow things down and find out why not. Start the conversation with how cheated it makes you feel. For example, you can say, “Because you never go down on me, I feel used and sad when I do it to you.” Your partner’s aversion might hinge on emotional reasons from childhood, a dislike of your genital grooming habits, a distaste of the flavor, or a fear of not being able to please you orally. What may have seemed selfish on the surface might instead be a complex interplay of legitimate concerns. Like anything else in life, the more you know and understand about the issues behind your partner’s decision, the more likely you will respect instead of resent him. If the problems with oral sex date back to childhood, your partner will probably need professional counseling. However, grooming habits are easy to fix with a pair of scissors and bright light. If taste is the issue, double check your hygiene and/or try a trail of your partner’s favorite tasty treat leading the way to your spot. If his concerns stem from fear of inadequacy, show how you like it done. This direct approach should help restore balance.

(YOUNG WOMAN) ISTOCKPHOTO.COM/MODELLOCATE; (ROSS) RACHAEL ROSS, MD

My long-term partner’s attitude toward oral sex is that it’s OK for him to receive but not to give. I think he has hang-ups about the female body.


M O R E

T H A N

5 0

W AY S

T O

P R E V E N T

D I A B E T E S

“Because type 2 diabetes runs in my family, I know it is important to take control of my health. My first step was losing a small amount of weight. I started by making healthy food choices and eating smaller portions. I began using the stairs and taking walks during my lunch break. Now I’m on a roll to prevent diabetes! I feel like new and I have more energy for my wife and family. That’s my big reward!”

Take Your First Step Today.

For free information about preventing type 2 diabetes, visit www.YourDiabetesInfo.org, or call 1-888-693-NDEP (6337); TTY: 1-866-569-1162. Ask for “More Than 50 Ways to Prevent Diabetes.”

www.YourDiabetesInfo.org

A message from the National Diabetes Education Program, sponsored by the National Institutes of Health and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.


TAKING CONTROL For most of her life, Basketball Wives star Tami Roman has carried an enormous anger inside, one that surfaces in ways viewers consider bullying. That may change. Through therapy, Roman is facing her issues and connecting her anger to its source: two disturbing episodes of sexual abuse. By Kate Ferguson

When Tami Roman was about 21 years old, a stranger carjacked her at gunpoint and stole four days of her life. “I didn’t share it with anyone,” says Roman, now 42. “I think I was ashamed and embarrassed that I did not fight back. I thought if I gave him my jewelry and my purse and wallet, he’d get out of my car and go. But that’s not what happened.” Instead, Roman was told to drive to an old warehouse where she was held captive and raped. “On the fourth day, he let me go,” she says. “I never told the police; I never went back to that location. I just kind of blocked it out and said to myself, ‘Let me just go on with my life and keep it moving.’ That’s what I decided to do in that moment.” This incident was the second time Roman faced intimidation and fear from sexual abuse. The first episode occurred when she was 8

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years old. In that instance, she knew her victimizer. “It involved my mother’s boyfriend at the time,” she says. “My mother worked three jobs when I was growing up, and she worked nights. Her boyfriend would be in the house with me at night.” At the time Roman didn’t understand that the fondling, touching and kissing were forms of molestation. But even though she lacked the vocabulary to define this abusive behavior, she knew it was wrong. What kept her silent was fear. “I did not share this with my mother; I didn’t share it with anyone,” Roman says. “As most children do, I kept quiet because I didn’t know if this was caused by something that I was doing. Plus, I didn’t want my mother to get upset with me; I knew that she really cared about this individual.” But fea rf ul ambivalence and slow-rising


After rumors she might get chopped from BBW, Tami Roman returns for Season 5. The program is slated to air in spring 2013.


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Finally, many years later, Roman did just that. On Season 4, Episode 9 of VH1’s hit reality show Basketball Wives, Roma n disclosed t he two incidences of abuse. “I talked to my mom about [the first incident] when I decided to bring the topic up on the show,” she says. “When I told her, we cried; she never knew. Of course, I never blamed my mother.” Roman’s revelation ref lects the reality for many Americans. Statistics show that one in five girls— and one in 20 boys—are victims of sexual assault, according to “Child

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a nger about t he i nc ident fou nd another outlet. “I became defiant and rude and acted out in school,” Rom a n s ays. “My mot her k new there was something wrong, but I just explained things by telling her I didn’t like this man. I didn’t disclose why.” Not speaking up is a big mistake, says clin ica l psychologist Ma r y Pipher, Ph D, aut hor of t he book Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls. “The sooner girls tell someone what happened and seek help, the better.”

Maltreatment 2010,” a report from the U.S. Department of Health and H u m a n S e r v i c e s ’ C h i l d r e n ’s Bureau. But the numbers are deceptive because ch ild sex ua l abuse often goes unreported, so the incidence is probably far greater than what is reported to authorities. Child sexual abuse takes a physical, psychological and emotional toll on children, but t he da mage often lasts well into their adulthood. For Roma n, bei ng molested a s a child and raped as an adult helped fuel her warrior mentality. Today, she describes herself as a “fighter,” which can be a positive attribute. “But I have to say that I did not know that my deep-rooted anger or the way I deal wit h people stemmed from those things and the fact that I was holding them in for so many years,” she says. “That didn’t come out until I started going to therapy.” On Basketball Wives, v iewers pegged Roman as a bully with anger issues that needed to be addressed. When R om a n t a l k e d w it h R e a l Health, viewers’ complaints about her behavior on the reality show had increased. But when asked if she felt her anger drove the drama on t he show, Rom a n sa id no. “I t hink dra ma would exist [on t he show] outside of me,” Roman says. “What people witness on the show are my reactions to certain situations I’m put in on the series. Sometimes, these circumstances are played out, and sometimes the audience doesn’t get the full picture because of the editing involved.” I n add it ion, Rom a n says, she views her behavior on the show as for entertainment purposes only. “When I’m with the girls and we’re taping, I consider that a job,” she says. “A nd when I’m away f rom them, I leave it there.” Still, although the bullying and angry drama on the show are mostly s c r ipte d, t he s c ene s c ont a i ne d enough truth in them for Roman to realize she wanted to address the issues in her real life. When asked on The Wendy Williams Show how her teenage daughters, Lyric and Jazz, felt about the way she acted on BBW, Roman admitted she felt bad


because she’d embarrassed her girls. So Roman decided she’d quit the fight club when BBW commenced its fifth season. “It’s ridiculous that I’m on TV and I have a huge platfor m,” Roma n told Will ia m s. “I should be responsible, I should be accountable, and I really haven’t been honoring that.” On the popular series, Roman is one of several women who were previously married to or involved with professional basketball players. But like many of her costars, Roman has her ow n profession a l i nter est s. Roman is an actress and was first runner-up in a Ms. Black California Pageant. Later, she was featured on the MTV reality series Real World:

should be submissive to their husbands. “When I got older, I battled with that because I felt that wasn’t how I wanted to be treated in a relationship,” Roman says. “I like to be viewed as an equal party. I was defiant against the things I had been taught as a child. I saw my mother allowed my stepdad to have affairs while they were married until she couldn’t take it anymore and she decided to leave. Even as a child I felt that’s not the way it’s supposed to be, so, as an adult, I definitely wasn’t going to allow those things to happen to me.” But Roman also believes that the four days she spent in captivity, not knowing whether she was going to

“What I have learned over time is that you can’t spend so much time in your life trying to please other people.” Los Angeles. I n 1994, at age 24, Roman married NBA player Kenny Anderson and had their two girls. “What I learned over time is that you can’t spend so much time in you r l i fe t r y i ng to plea se ot her people,” Roman says. “That’s why people see me say what’s on my mind. But people also have to learn t h at you ca n ag r e e to d i sag r e e. Everything doesn’t have to be combative or argumentative.” Roman was raised in a middleclass, single-parent household in White Plains, New York. When her mother met and married Roman’s f u t u r e s t e p f a t h e r, A l i A k b a r, Roman’s childhood changed dramatically. A pract icing Muslim, Akbar gave Roman an appreciation for the value of higher education, a spiritual foundation and strong family values. But Roman also says that she rebelled against aspects of the Muslim culture that said women

live, made her hyper defensive. “I’m actually still in therapy,” Roman says, “because these things have been so deeply rooted, and there are things outside of these episodes of sexual abuse. Everything has to be dealt with one hurdle at a time.” Roman agrees that for many black people, seeing a psychiatrist is like admitting you’re crazy. “That’s why I never really understood the value of being able to get some of those things off my chest by talking to someone who’s not biased,” Roman says. She then adds that therapists can help you think about the things you say, explore how your words and actions make you feel and ask why you react to things the way you do. “I’d never really had that dialogue w it h a nybody,” Rom a n r evea ls. Then she pauses a moment before continuing the thought. “For me, therapy has been a wonderful, eyeopening experience.” ■

SOUND THE ALARM

What You Should Know About Child Sexual Abuse People who sexually abuse children are not sleazy, shifty-eyed strangers hiding in the shadows waiting to pounce on innocent youngsters. Instead, according to the American Psychological Association (APA), studies show that most of these sexual offenders are family members or other people the child knows. What’s more, although men commit most instances of sexual abuse, women are also offenders. Because data can be difficult to gather, child sexual abuse remains a difficult issue to track and define. But “there is general agreement among mental health and child protection professionals that child sexual abuse is not uncommon and is a serious problem in the United States,” the APA says. Below are a few additional APA research findings about the disturbing issue: ●

Despite a common myth, homosexual men aren’t more likely to sexually abuse children than heterosexual men.

All children, regardless of gender, age, race, ethnicity, culture and economic background are at risk of sexual abuse. In addition, child sexual abuse occurs in rural, urban and suburban areas, in rich and poor families and areas, and in countries around the world.

Sexual abuse is greatly underreported. This makes accurate estimates of prevalence difficult. What’s more, CDC research estimates that roughly one in six boys and one in four girls are sexually abused before age 18.

Older children (12 and up) and girls are at greater risk of child sexual abuse. But boys are more likely to be victimized by someone outside the family.

Kids with a disability or history of victimization, or with one or both parents absent are at an increased risk of child sexual abuse. —KF

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A TASTE FOR

HEALTH People with type 2 diabetes can actually help reverse the disease by eating well. By Willette Francis


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To study whet her people wit h type 2 diabetes can reverse the illness, researchers placed 11 type 2 diabetics on a calorie-restricted liquid diet supplemented with three portions of non-starchy veggies and calorie-free beverages each day for eight weeks. (The people with type 2 diabetes were compared with a control group who didn’t have the dise a s e.) S c ie nt i s t s e v a lu at e d t he groups and measured—using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI)— blood sugar and insulin responses, cholesterol levels and fat in each person’s pancreas before the dietary changes and then after weeks one, four and eight. Researchers found that during the study, in people with type 2 diabetes, the pancreatic beta cells, which produce insulin, began to function

amount of medication they need.” Indeed, when the right foods are added into the exercise equation, it can have a dramatic, domino effect on type 2 diabetes. That’s because the proper diet can improve blood sugar levels, decrease insulin resistance, and lower both high blood pressu re a nd cholesterol levels. “What this means is it’s important to eat a more traditional diet that is based on whole, fresh fruits and vegetables, especially leafy greens, yams a nd sweet potatoes; bea ns of a ll kinds; nuts and seeds; whole grains; healthy oils such as olive or canola; fish; poultry; and minimal amounts of red meat,” Brown-Riggs says. But it’s important to also control portions of good-for-you foods. For example, stick to three to four servings of fruit each day because these

“People living with type 2 diabetes don’t have to sacrifice the food they love.” better—in fact, at nearly normal levels—while fat in the pancreas and liver decreased. After the eight-week change in diet, all evidence of diabetes was gone from the participants. In essence, what the study showed was this: Eating a plant-based, lowcalorie low-glycemic diet (meaning, in part, consuming only certain types of carbohydrates to help regulate blood sugar levels) reversed most diabetes symptoms in seven days, and it eliminated all signs of the condition in eight weeks. But while these study participants saw drastic results and were able to reverse their diabetes in a short period of time, Brown-Riggs says that the degree a person is able to reverse diabetes depends on many factors in addition to diet. What’s also necessary with this type of diet is an increase in physical activity to help shed weight. “I tell my patients to think of exercise as medicine,” Brown-Riggs says. “Physica l act iv it y i mproves t he body’s ability to use insulin, which m ig ht mea n a decrease in t he

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natural treats contain more calories. In addition, people who eat plenty of calcium-rich foods have an easier time losing weight and are less likely to become insulin resistant. And don’t forget the cinnamon. Studies suggest that about 3 grams (about half a teaspoon) of this sweet-smelling spice sprinkled on food can lower blood sugar by helping the body use insulin more efficiently, so more glucose can enter cells. In her book, Brown-Riggs discusses how African Americans can manage d i a b ete s w it h sou nd nut r it ion. Specifically, she focuses on different types of diets, including “the healthy ones that work, the alternative ones that may have some benefits, and the fad diets that may do more harm than good,” she says. Indeed, diabetes is a serious and rapidly growing problem for African Americans. In 2010, nearly 5.6 million African Americans had diabetes. About 2 million of them were undiagnosed and likely beginning to suffer from common complications

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ow accou nting for more t h a n 9 0 p e r c e nt of t h e nearly 26 million diabetes cases in the United States, type 2 diabetes is the seventh leading cause of death in this country. But the good news is type 2 d i a b ete s c a n b e pr evented or delayed—even in people who are at a high risk of the condition. What’s more, new studies are showing that those already diagnosed with the disease can reverse the illness. “Typically, people who have type 2 diabetes are overweight and inactive,” says Constance Brown-Riggs, aut hor of The Af rican American Guide to Living Well with Diabetes and a spokesperson for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. “Two of the most important lifestyle changes people can make are to lose weight and get physically active. Weight loss is one of the best ways to manage diabetes, and losing as little as 10 to 15 pounds ca n improve blood glucose levels, decrease insulin resistance and possibly reduce the amount of diabetes medicine needed to control blood glucose levels.” Br ief ly, d iabetes occu rs when blood glucose levels are above normal. The food we eat is turned into glucose, or sugar, for our bodies to use for energy. The pa ncreas, a n organ near the abdomen and stomach, makes insulin, a hormone that regulates blood suga r levels a nd helps transport glucose into the cells of our bodies. Essentially, the two main types of diabetes are type 1 and type 2. In type 1 diabetes, the immune system attacks and destroys insulin-produci ng c el l s. Th i s i s t hou g ht to b e caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Type 2 diabetes usually begins as insulin resistance, a disorder in which the cells do not use insulin properly. As the need for insulin rises, the pancreas gradually loses its ability to produce the hormone. Put even simpler, when you have diabetes, the body either doesn’t make enough insulin or can’t use its own supply of the hormone as well as it should. This causes sugar to build up in the blood, which can lead to serious health complications.


Stick a (Big) Fork in It!

Eat-well tips for people with diabetes. Hint: You can eat more of the foods you love than you think.

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There are no absolutes about food when you are living with diabetes, and it certainly doesn’t mean the end of good eating, says registered dietitian Constance Brown-Riggs, MSEd. The idea that you can never again eat foods such as peas, potatoes, sugar, corn or cake is an outdated misconception. People living with diabetes can still enjoy delicious foods while managing their disease and blood sugar. That’s why Brown-Riggs offers these tasty words of wisdom:

of the illness, such as eye, kidney a nd hea r t da mage. What’s more, compa r ed w it h wh ites, A f r ica n Americans also have at least twice the risk of amputations, renal failure and death as a result of diabetes. Diabetes is a lso be g i n n i ng to affect school-age children. According to the Institute for Alternative Fut u r es, 40 per cent of A f r ica nAmerican boys and 49 percent of girls will develop diabetes during their lifetimes, which can lead to severe diabetes complications and reduce their life spans by four to 23 years. Also, the forecast shows an uptick in the number of blacks with prediabetes, from 10.4 million in 2010 to 12.6 million in 2025. In prediabetes, the blood sugar level is higher than normal but not yet in the range for diabetes. While these statistics are shocking, many scientific studies show that the simple lifestyle changes Brown-Riggs stresses can often prevent prediabetes or significantly delay its onset. I n add it ion, d iet a nd lifest yle

changes can also reduce high blood pressure and lower cholesterol and triglyceride levels in the body. In general, for anyone who has type 2 diabetes and wants to better manage the condition with diet, Brown-Riggs’ suggestions are essentially commonsense solutions to the problem. She recommends that people living with diabetes control the ABCs of the disease, namely their blood glucose (measured by the hemoglobin A1c test), blood pressure and cholesterol levels, which can all be done with the proper diet and exercise. Even t houg h d iabetes is more closely associated with what we eat than many other diseases, people living with type 2 diabetes don’t have to sacrifice the foods they love, and that includes dessert as BrownRiggs notes in her book. “Don’t let diabetes take the sweetness out of life. I mean that both literally and figuratively,” she says. “Small amounts of sweets can be included in a healthy diabetes diet. You can pretty much eat what you want. It’s all in how you do it.” ■

Eat what you want. There are no bad foods that must be eliminated from the diet forever. If blood sugar is under control, then you can work in sweets. However, it’s important to keep the amount within your carbohydrate allowance; remember that you can substitute sweets and desserts for starch, fruit or milk.

Sugar-free isn’t always the best option. Because of concern about rising blood sugar levels, people with diabetes may be tempted to eat mostly sugar-free foods. Many sugar-free foods are sweetened with sugar alcohols, such as sorbitol and mannitol. But these can cause diarrhea and upset stomach. That means, use in small quantities or not at all.

Use a large fork and take big bites. According to Brown-Riggs, a study published in the Journal of Consumer Research showed that people end up eating less if they try these tactics. The result? Weight loss, one of the best ways to improve glucose levels, reduce insulin resistance and lessen the need for oral diabetes meds. —WF

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Doctors confirm that heart disease can contribute to the brain damage that causes dementia.

SLIPPING AWAY AFTER MY MOTHER DIED OF CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE, MANY YEARS PASSED BEFORE I REALIZED HER FORGETFULNESS AND INABILITY TO DO SIMPLE TASKS WERE SYMPTOMS OF THAT DISEASE. BY KATE FERGUSON


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body, and her kidneys responded by causing her to retain fluid (water) and salt. The fluid built up in her lungs and pooled in her legs and ankles, so it became difficult for her to breathe and walk. But as hard as it was watching her battle these challenges, the thing that saddened us the most was seeing my mother transform from a vibrant and involved woman into a flat-voiced, unresponsive stranger who seemed totally disconnected from her surroundings. Eventually, because she easily lost her balance, I had to get a wheelchair to help her move around the house. The diagnosis and my mother’s decline echoed the results of a Swedish study that showed heart failure is associated with an increased risk of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease in older adults. Dementia is a broadbased term for a group of disorders that diminish cognitive functioning and cause memory loss, disorientation, impaired judgment, personality changes and the inability to plan. Alzheimer’s is a common form of dementia that develops slowly and gets

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progressively worse. In addition, t he condition can become severe enough that it can make doing everyday tasks difficult. One major reason why people develop congestive heart failure is that diseases such as hypertension weaken or stiffen the heart muscles. In addition, during the course of these illnesses, the body’s tissues can demand more oxygen, taxing the heart beyond its limits. When you have high blood pressure, the heart has to squeeze against the higher pressure, so the left side of the heart becomes thicker. When the hypertension progresses, the heart becomes very stiff and it causes the same symptoms as if the heart isn’t squeezing correctly, says George Sokos, MD, a cardiac specialist in heart failure and heart transplant at Canonsburg General Hospital in the West Penn Allegheny Health System in Pennsylvania. “By the time someone gets to see me, it may not be too late, but they’ve already been affected by the disease—so I really try to stress prevention,” Sokos says. According to Sokos, hypertension is serious enough to be considered first-stage heart failure as redefined by the American Heart Association. “If you have hypertension, and you don’t have any symptoms of heart failure, we consider you [as being such a high risk] that we really want to push for treatment of heart failure,” Sokos says. Accord i ng to t he most recent Centers for Disease Cont rol a nd Prevention statistics on heart failure, my mother was not alone. Almost 5.8 million people in the United States h ave he a r t f a i lu r e, w it h a b out 670,000 people diagnosed with the illness each year. Doctors who suspect that a patient has the d isea se ca n at tempt to confirm that diagnosis wit h a va riety of blood tests or a n elect rocardiogram, a test t hat measures and charts the electrical impulses

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t first, my mother’s memory loss w a s n’t a l a r m i ng. The f i rst time she forgot somet h i ng major, my siblings a nd I were just embarrassed. We thought it happened because she was getting older and more forgetf ul. My older brot her and his wife had invited my mother, my sister and me to dinner and were waiting for us when we pulled up in front of their porch. When we got out of the car and my mother got close to the house, she pointed to my brother’s wife and asked if she was his mother-in-law. The mistake was jarring because his mother-inlaw had died one year earlier—a fact my mom was very aware of. At the time, my sister and I exchanged questioning glances and my brother seemed a little annoyed. His wife didn’t say anything, but she gave a nervous laugh. Then, the fog seemed to lift from my mother’s mind. She sheepishly apologized for her mistake and we went into the house. Nothing more was said about it u nt il about a yea r later when her memory failed again. One day, I took her to visit the old neighborhood where we’d lived. As we drove along t he st reets she once loved, she looked a round with a blank stare. That’s when I became alarmed. Eventually, months later, doctors diagnosed my mother with congestive heart failure, but no one mentioned that this ca rd iova sucla r ill ness might cause memory loss or i mpa i r her cognitive skills. In the first stage of the illness, the most dramatic sig n s of my mother’s heart condition were all physical. The illness reduced her heart’s ability to pump blood efficient ly t h roug h her


traveling through the heart, says Michael Farkouh, MD, an associate professor of cardiology at Mount Sinai School of Medicine. Af ter my mom was diagnosed with heart disease, her cardiologist placed her on a program that rest r icted her sa lt i nta ke a nd t he amount of wine she could drink. He also placed her on drug treatment. For a while, the treatment seemed to stabilize my mother’s condition. But, gradually, the disease began to gain ground, and soon it became clear to us that she was becoming tired of the struggle. The end came swiftly on a summer evening just after my sister and I had prepared my mother for bed. The next day, we were scheduled to have a nursing attendant come to help us, but that was no longer necessary. Today makes 12 years since my mother’s death. Doctors know so much more now about congestive

These strategies recommend that people don’t smoke; they take steps to keep their blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar within suggested limits; and they maintain a healthy weight. In addition, doctors also prescribe drugs called cholinesterase inhibitors and memantine to treat symptoms of illnesses that affect memory, thinking, language, judgment and other thought processes. What’s key is that doctors are able to diagnose cardiovascular disease early; with treatment, there’s usually a better chance they’ll be able to control a patient’s heart disease. Aggravating or failing to control cardiovascular conditions, such as congestive heart failure, coronary artery disease or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, may harm the cognitive function of patients wit h dementia, according to t he A mer ica n Medica l Associat ion.

If older people start to forget things, the possibility of heart disease is often overlooked. heart failure and the other illnesses it can trigger. For many years, because my siblings and I didn’t know that my mother’s condition might cause dementia, we wondered if getting older would automatically put us at risk of the cognitive decline she experienced. Like many people, we believed t hat t he dementia my mom developed was a function of aging. But according to the Alzheimer’s Association, cardiovascular diseases can damage blood vessels anywhere in the body, including those in the brain. Such da mage ca n rob t he brain cells of vital food and oxygen. What’s more, blood vessel changes in t he brain a re linked to vascula r dement ia, a nd t his may cause a patient to experience faster cognitive decline or more severe problems. This is why a treatment strategy to protect the brain is also heart smart.

That’s why the group recommends paying attention to, and aggressively t r eat i ng, bot h ca rd iova sc u la r disorder and dementia when they coexist. Years ago, when my mother was diagnosed, the cardiologist only treated her heart disease. By the time he did prescribe a drug called Aricept (a cholinesterase inhibitor) to treat my mother’s dementia, her congestive heart failure was too advanced for the med to help much. She fought until her weakened heart su r rendered, a nd t hen she succumbed to the disease. Today, many patients with the same condition lead active, satisfying lives because of more effective drug treatments for heart disease and the dementia that sometimes accompanies it. What’s crucial, says Farkouh, is that the disease is found and treated in its earliest stages. ■

Coping at Christmas

Being realistic about a loved one’s limitations can help make life easier.

When a family member develops Alzheimer’s disease or a similar dementia, you should expect a change in the your holiday traditions. But you can take concrete steps that create the best odds for an enjoyable experience, says Nataly Rubinstein, a licensed clinical social worker and certified geriatric care manager. “When someone you know and love is diagnosed with one of these diseases, the ‘new normal’ can be difficult to understand, accept and deal with, especially around the holidays,” says Rubinstein, author of Alzheimer’s Disease and Other Dementias: The Caregiver’s Complete Survival Guide. Rubinstein speaks from personal experience, not just professional know-how. She was her mother’s primary caregiver for 16 years after her mom’s dementia diagnosis. Rubinstein says if the diagnosis is fairly recent, family members and friends tend to feel some mix of fear and dread as the holiday season approaches. In response, Rubinstein suggests that we manage our expectations. “While it might sound Scrooge-like, it’s wise to hope for the best while preparing yourself for the worst.” In addition, be realistic about whatever your family dynamics are—the good, the bad and the ugly. “If you know this going in, you’ll be much less frustrated when your family acts like, well, your family,” Rubinstein says. Most important, caregivers should make time for themselves. Arrange for someone to watch your mother while you attend to personal obligations or desires. Says Rubinstein: “If you remain positive and adaptable, I promise this season can still be full of celebrations to cherish.” —KF

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Whether your curls are loose or tight, your hair is likely to shrink when it gets wet.

LENGTHY

PROCEEDINGS If you’ve gone natural to grow your tresses long and strong only to watch your curls and coils shrink when wet, don’t tear out your hair in frustration. Instead, read this first. By Gerrie Summers



Styling Tips

When applying styling product, comb your mousse, gel or lotion through the hair with a wide-tooth comb. “The results are looser, more stretchedout curls,” Davis says. “If you brush product through with a Denman or a natural bristle brush, you will get springier, bouncier curls.”

When possible, don’t shampoo hair that’s loose. If you shampoo tresses while in a few twists or braids, the hair will retain some of its length.

Use products that help weigh the hair down. For example, certain conditioners help stretch hair’s curl pattern. Some women add aloe vera gel to their products, or use styling aids such as Kinky Curly Custard or SheaMoisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie.

“The best way to combat shrinkage is to work with the hair dry,” says stylist Felicia Leatherwood. “After you’ve shampooed and conditioned your hair, plait the hair up and wait for the next day to do your twist-out styles. That way the hair will give you more length than when it was wet.” (Some women with natural hair report that they’ve experienced up to 85 percent shrinkage when their hair is wet.)

Blow-drying

Tresses Trivia See how much you know about hair.

1. Why is a “V” shape in the middle of the hairline called the “widow’s peak”? a) Because women with this hairline were thought of as black widow spiders whose mates met an untimely demise. b) Because only women are born with this hairline shape. c) Because this hairline is similar to that of a headdress worn by women in mourning. 2. What custom in India results in trimmed locks that are later used to make weaves sold in the United States? a) An ancient yoga ritual b) A religious ceremony for married women c) A purification ritual 3. The shape and contour of hair have a natural default setting, but water and heat are able to reshape them.

“I am not a fan of blasting roots or the length of hair with a blow-dryer to fight shrinkage,” Davis says. “Heat from a blow-dryer at such a close distance is extremely drying and damaging.”

a) True

If you blow-dry to prevent shrinkage, says Ursula Stephens, a celebrity hairstylist who is also a global ambassador for hair-care line Motions, “you should always attach a diffuser to the end of your blow-dryer.” Skipping that step, she adds, “can cause damage as the heat is not controlled or modified and can be too harsh on the hair.”

“The other way to get more length is to use a blow-dryer with a comb attachment,” Leatherwood says. “Be sure to use a leave-in or heat protectant first before blowing out your hair. The hair can be blown out up to twice a month [and still remain] healthy.” In addition, Leatherwood says, “Avoid too much heat and never sleep on wet hair. Wet hair will tangle during the night.”

Answers 1. Answer: a and c. The term “widow’s peak” originated in the 1800s when some people believed this type of hairline showed a woman would outlive her husband. Also, the shape is similar to a headdress worn by women in mourning. 2. Answer: c. Members of a Hindu sect in India shave their hair twice in their lives. Entrepreneurs gather the hair to sell to U.S. hair manufacturers. 3. Answer: True. Water and heat can break the weak chemical bonds that hold hair together.

Roller Sets

After washing, stretch out the hair by placing sections on rollers and then allowing tresses to air-dry.

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b) False

(Source: Hair: The Long and the Short of It, by Art Neufeld.)

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hen wet, natural coily or kinky hair dries, it shrinks. A lot. As much as 75 percent, says natural hair expert and celebrity stylist Diane Bailey. In fact, this incredible disappearing act is the biggest hurdle faced by black women with these hair textures. But that’s not the long and short of it. “Shrinkage is inherent,” she says, “but it can be managed.” Another hair care professional, Shelley Davis, owner of Kinky-Curly, a natural hair salon, offers a more philosophical and functional viewpoint. “I believe that shrinkage is part of having naturally curly hair,” Davis says, “and more women should learn to embrace it rather than fight it.” Although the amount of shrinkage varies from person to person, there are a variety of successful and popular techniques that can help women achieve maximum hang time for their curls and coils. Whatever your opinions, the tips that follow will help make it easier for you to embrace, as well as elongate, your natural hair.


stuff we love A roundup of the latest, must-have finds for hair, skin, health and beauty, these products are worth every cent.

100% Pure Cranberry Glow Lip & Cheek Tint and 100% Cranberry Lip Butter (0.26 oz., $15; 0.35 oz., $13) These fruit-pigmented cosmetics are infused with shea and cocoa butter to nourish your cheeks and lips.

Airbrush Blush Stain (0.23 oz., $24) A skin-friendly, silky powder from IT Cosmetics that helps minimize pores without settling into fine lines and wrinkles. Plus, it’s also great for all skin tones.

Evolve Deep Stimulating Brushes (0.27 lbs., $9.99) Made with a natural wood handle, these 100 percent boar bristle brushes distribute hair’s natural oils to help promote healthy growth.

Heal Everything Balm (0.85 oz., $26) Miracle Skin Transformer’s multipurpose beauty balm contains more than 30 botanical moisturizers to soothe sensitive, irritated skin and speed healing.

ChapStick Active Sport Ready (0.15 oz., $2.59 to $2.99) The popular salve now has a clip-on top and a water-resistant, sun-protection formula that guards the lips from harsh weather.

Evo Fitness Bike (Evo ix, $1,149) The special feature on this indoor cycle can give all types of athletes, from casual riders to elite cyclists, an all-around workout.

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THOUGHTS

Bye Winter Blahs Changing seasons can trigger depressive symptoms in some people. Here’s what one woman did to chase the clouds away.

Don’t Be SAD

Keep your sunny outlook no matter what the weather. When crisp fall days give way to cold winter weather, for some people, the change can trigger seasonal affective disorder (SAD), a type of depression that saps their energy and destabilizes their mood. “People with SAD typically present with symptoms that include overeating, weight gain, oversleeping, lethargy and fatigue, and significant cravings for sugary or starchy foods,” says Elizabeth Waterman, PsyD, a psychologist at Morningside Recovery Center in Newport Beach, California. “Symptoms are worse in the evening and typically last for five months.” What causes SAD isn’t known, but during the shorter days of winter, the body may produce the hormone melatonin either earlier or later in the day than usual. These changes can lead to SAD symptoms. Currently, the most effective treatment for SAD is cognitive behavioral therapy. CBT helps depressed people examine and restructure their negative thinking patterns and the behaviors that perpetuate depression. Another successful treatment for SAD is called phototherapy. The treatment entails patients “sunning” themselves with a light box for 60 to 90 minutes each morning. But sunshine can also work wonders. “Studies show improvement in SAD symptoms when people walk outside for at least one hour each day,” Waterman says. Still, some people might prefer to take a pill rather than sit in front of a light box. For them, antidepressants called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) offer another option. Just let science light the way!

When I first began to notice that the change in seasons affected me, I was in my 40s. Once the skies turned gray and fall stripped the trees of their leaves, I’d sometimes experience crying spells and a total lack of energy, along with extreme fatigue. Often, I’d just want to curl up in bed and stay inside. The longer these feelings lasted, the worse my symptoms became. In addition, I’d lose my appetite and be totally disinterested in food. After I realized there was a pattern to these episodes, I began doing research online. That’s when I first became aware of seasonal affective disorder (SAD). The symptoms described online matched what was happening to me. But even though I didn’t experience these symptoms all the time, I still hated feeling sad if I didn’t have to. Then I read about lifestyle remedies to try. When the medical site I visited suggested I exercise more often, get to sleep earlier and spend more time outside, especially on sunny days, I was ecstatic. The site also suggested people affected by seasonal affective disorder eat more foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids, such as salmon, mackerel, herring and walnuts. Once I tried these suggestions, I saw a change. I was depressed less often and not so inclined to withdraw from family and friends. In addition, I made it a point to always try to maintain a positive attitude at all times. Now, I feel so much better whatever the season might be.

THE EXPERT SAYS People living with seasonal affective disorder (SAD) can take steps to What are some at-home treatment tips for people with SAD? Studies show improvement in SAD symptoms for some people who walk outside for at least one hour each day. Outdoor light, especially sunlight before noon, is often brighter than the light boxes [used for SAD therapy]. This is helpful even when the sky is overcast. In addition, exercise may be helpful, particularly when done outdoors. And eating a balanced diet may elevate

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mood and diminish the craving for sweets. Also, plan for seasonal energy fluctuations and work that into your plans. Does SAD need intermittent treatment? When patients undergo light therapy, the treatment typically starts when fall arrives and daylight hours decrease. Cognitive behavioral therapy [CBT] may or may not be used intermittently depending on how well the client has learned and practiced

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the CBT techniques. Sometimes people who master CBT skills take “booster sessions” to refresh their skills before fall arrives. In addition, antidepressants [are] another treatment approach. Does light therapy work for everyone? Studies show inconsistent findings in terms of the effectiveness of SAD light therapy. But this type of therapy does seem to work for some.

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help themselves, says psychologist Elizabeth Waterman, PsyD.


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Winter 2012



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