AUTUMN ISSUE 2022INSPIRATION INFORMATION DETERMINATION £4.90 ISSN 2752-9517 (on line) NEWS (talking with Prime Minister Liz Truss) FINANCE, ECONOMY & SOCIAL IMPACT MEMBER STORIES & BUSINESS DIRECTORY OTHER SINGLE PARENT ORGANISATIONS LOVE ALCHEMY WITH COVER GIRL KATIE SIGNPHILLIPSPOSTING, INFORMATION AND ADVICE FOR MEN SMBN AWARDS 2022
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There are so many serious issues out there that quite honestly, women fighting to work in sync with childcare should not be one of them, fighting for a home or to not need a food bank should not be consuming our energy. Let’s get this sorted so we can focus on others that need us. We have many angels, but it should not be on them, our Government needs to do better.
Business Network for Single Mums in the United Kingdom
www.singlemumsbusinessnetwork.co.uk
Welcome to the Single Mums Business Magazine, a publication that showcases and celebrates single parents in the UK whilst helping to raise awareness of some unnecessary barriers to homes, work, and finance. As I write this issue I do so with complete respect for our Monarchy at a time of national mourning. Long Live the King.
It has been quite a productive summer, membership has grown significantly, we have secured headline sponsorship for the SMBN Awards, with thanks to The Charity Learning Consortium, we have secured over £8000 in grants for members in most need, with thanks to the Smallwood Trust, we have gained positive exposure for members as sponsors of the Women in Business BIG SHOW in Kent, we have helped to furnish a home for a mum new to single parenting as she fled domestic violence, and, we have hand delivered and enjoyed conversations with our new Prime Minister, Liz Truss, as well as other MP’s, who I hope, will have read the letters and magazines I gave them. As I always say, ignorance is a genuine lack of knowledge due to not having had applicable lived experience, and that can be forgiven, to a degree, but, once you have that knowledge, you are duty bound by spiritual law to do your best for those who depend on you. It was also a real joy to share my own story at the Purple Shoots South Yorkshire launch, as they shine their angelic light on more precious and vulnerable lives. I would also like to thank Martin Lewis, for his incredible work in standing up for millions of desperate people and his work with Money and Mental Health.
When I founded the SMBN in 2019 I could never have imagined how many amazing solo parents I would meet, all doing the best to utilise their skillsets, make work work, and not only survive, but thrive in a one income per household family. This magazine was created to support their business exposure and give them an opportunity to voice their own challenges, in a bid to help others.
It was great to Sponsor The Women in Business BIG SHOW in KENT in August 2022, and to continue to drive traffic to our Member Directory!
The show is fantastically affordable to exhibit and is brought to you by Sian Murphy who hosts The Women In Business Radio Show.
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Listen Live 11am GMT every Thursday at http://www.channelradio.co.uk
The Women In Business Radio Show broadcasts weekly from Channel Radio in the UK and US, it features inspiring guests, tips resources and laughs for anyone in business - but especially Women In Business!
on-Wye to Kent and I was very proud of my work work work’ summer holiday. I am also very grateful to SMBN member Genny Jones aka Confident Queen for helping out on the day!
Closing Date: 30th September 2022!
If you follow the Single Mums Business Network on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram OR LinkedIn, this will not be news to you! as caring and sharing is what we do! But, if you’re just picking up this mag, and it’s 24 hours until the deadline (#PitchtoPiers) What are you waiting for! You have got to be in it to win it!
At the moment, for a limited time I believe, you can pick Piers’ brains when he does a LIVE Q&A every Thursday at 4pm. Head over to PiersLinneyTV on YouTube, also, if you head over to the Moblox website, there is an abundance of information and advice for small businesses, there is a Community, and, he has launched his own Mobile SIM, (more to come), totally inspired by not ripping of small business owners and putting profit before people.
Piers has always impressed me with his humanity and business knowledge, so I needed to make him aware of the SMBN. As per every initial contact, I was ignored, but I dropped him a gentle reminder every 6 months for three years until eventually I ‘rang a bell’. Even fish behind a radiator eventually gets up ones nose, even if it is invisible to the naked eye! I was excited to hand him one of our first A5 magazines at the Festival of Enterprise pre Covid, and even more excited when, two years later he showed our mag off to his audience, retweeted us, and shared our Insta story. This is very powerful stuff. Fresh hope of being seen and heard is the undercurrent of everything the SMBN is about, and so, with that gratitude, when somebody gives me the time of day, I do what I can to reciprocate! Alas… check out MOBLOX!!
You can do your own homework from here. But my point is, make the effort, and don’t wait to be saved, we have to be proactive in changing things for the better, and we must always help those who help us, and those who don’t! that is the best of humanity!
SMBN SOS! CALLING ALL CARPET FITTERS, PAINTERS AND DECORATORS, DOG WALKERS, THERAPISTS, MECHANICS, ELECTRICIANS, PLUMBERS, ROOFERS IT TECHNICIANS, GARDENERS, DIY GODS AND GODDESSES, CLEANERS, CARPENTERS, HAIRDRESSERS, AND MORE!
So if you fancy being on our database to potentially give some time, and join our imminent directory of trusted and publicly accountable skilled professionals, watch this space or get in touch via email to smbn@singlemumsbusinessnetwork.co.uk And if you have that bus….. you know where to send it!
There have been times over the years where I have desperately needed help! Simple things that are just physically or financially too much; so we are looking for our very own trusted SMBN SOS team!
One thing I always struggled with was not being able to afford counselling when I needed somebody to talk to, or not having anybody to call to help me move (again) or even if the money was there, not knowing who to trust when I needed some skilled professionals to help me in the home. A simple TV ariel fix would leave me propositioned and feeling vulnerable in my home and so after two years of similar discussions with other single mums particularly; myself and the partners plan to manifest an SMBN SOS bus! So that when a member is in dire straits either emotionally or practically we can send out an SOS to members and trusted external contractors and professionals to see who is free to volunteer for a day or two to help make everything okay.
In August we were able to help a new member with furniture, furnishings, a Grant thanks to the Smallwood Trust, and some much needed practical and emotional support! SMBN supporters donated goods and used their vans! When we have our own SMBN SOS bus, we can use it to transport goods or pile on to turn up and help, or just talk, if a safe circle, good cry and box of chocolates is all that is needed.
finances were more in order I would have time to date.
Cover Girl Katie Phillips impressed me so much in the Summer Issue, that I just KNEW that she had to be our Autumn Cover Girl, and I invited her to share her journey with you. As sometimes we all need reminding that even the most stunning creatures are vulnerable to low confidence and self-esteem. We all need inner work to practice self-love, and Katie’s story is sure to inspire you to see an alternative outcome!
My secret shame was that at the age of 40 I should be further along in life.
Ironically, while on the one hand I was telling myself that I needed to get my life more in order before inviting a man in to share it, I also believed I had a fabulous life and was scared to lose my independence and freedom!
I let the desire go (while my soul died a little inside which is what happens when we don’t honour our secret yearnings and expose the fears for what they really are False Evidence Appearing Real)
I genuinely believed that when he saw my little house and unremarkable bank balance, he'd Sodisappear.Idecided
I thought he would distract me from my business. I believed he would be a drain on my energy, time and finances. I was scared our relationship would affect my very close bond with my son.
The ‘shoulding’ was an exhausting background Inoise.should be living in a bigger house. I should have more savings. I should be driving a nicer car. I should be providing my son with a more stable family life.
So I told myself, I am fine on my own. I don’t need a man.
I was financially independent, had a business I adored and a relationship with my son that I was so proud of. My life was good and I was scared that a man would compromise that.
I have vivid memories of waking in the night feeling dread, worry and deep loneliness.
The morning would come and I would suck it up and get on with my day being a Mum to my 7 year old and running my business.
As much as I desired to be in a relationship, it also terrified me. God forbid I allowed another person to see the ‘truth’ of my life.
to focus on building my business, making money and getting financially sorted Ifirst.also believed that once my career and
I was putting my desire to be in a relationship on hold until I had the rest of my life ‘perfect'.
I was fed up with wondering what to do on Sunday when everyone else is having lunch with their family or enjoying romantic hand-in-hand strolls in the park. I also craved a man to help me with domestic jobs! And yes, I am a feminist too.
And, if one more person questioned why I was single (or suggested that I was intimidating) … well, God help them!
I felt ashamed that I was teaching/coaching women to love themselves and that self love was THE KEY to calling in your heart’s desires and my desire was to be in a relationship. That felt professionally humiliating!
I started to give up. I felt soul destroyed and defeated.
Truth be told, I was often pretty lonely.
I longed to hang out with my best friend and soul mate. To have a deep emotional connection that felt like ‘home’…..
…..
When I was growing up my Dad had a print on his wall it was a quote from Theodore Roosevelt that said:...
I hadn’t had a lot of luck in love. The majority of my past relationships featured addiction, co dependency, jealousy, mental illness, anxiety and narcissism the perfect cocktail for pure drama! I lived on edge in those relationships in a kind of fight or flight state. I never fully relaxed. I never completely felt like ‘ me’. I so craved to feel ‘at home’.
Then one day I remembered I AM DARING & MIGHTY!
I genuinely thought I was unlucky in love. I had resigned myself to believing that love was meant for others, not me. I thought I must be wired wrong or fundamentally floored in some way.
I was SOOO ready to share myself and my life with someone. I wanted a partner in crime. I had this sense that together we would be a powerful force. I didn’t want to plan one more holiday on my own or spend one more night on the couch in my PJ Netflix. I wanted someone to cuddle me, make love to me, ravish me, hold my hand and walk with me.
So I had all these juxtaposing beliefs that were conflicting with each other and in addition to that, I was harbouring some pretty deep shame.
I had reached a point where I didn’t think it was possible for me.
Even when checkered by defeat
there was something within me that was blocking him coming in. Something that was so familiar to me that I couldn’t see it as a repelling or blocking energy. I needed someone else to shine a light on that for me, remove my ‘blinkers’ and help me heal. I also needed someone else to hold my vision for me when I doubted, to challenge me when I pushed back, to remind me how beautiful and loveable I was.
the age of 42 I decided enough is enough, I am going to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to meet my guy and learn to have a healthy relationship.
So I hired coaches to help me. I decided it was time to invest in my desires.
And guess what!? The Universe heard me!
Life has eyes and ears! When I set the intention that I would do ANYTHING to call him in, miracles
Here’s the thing our desires ARE MEANT FOR US. The natural flow of life is that we feel a desire and then we receive it. The gestation between the conceiving of the desire and the birth of the desire will be dependant on what we believe (about the desire, ourselves, others, societal perceptions and a myriad of other influencers). The gestation time and effort will be influenced by our thoughts. As soon as I said yes to myself and invested in support (because I was unapologetic about my desire) EVERYTHING shifted.
Little did I know that in reading that quote every day from the age of 11 17, I was creating a mindset that asserted, ‘I can do anything I put my mind to’ and ‘I would rather give something a go than give up and live half a life’. I decided as a teenager that I was going to live a Daring & Mighty Solife.at
Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs
I became a man magnet within a few weeks. It was incredible how men suddenly wanted to be around me. I enjoyed the attention too! In 9 months I met James. Two years later to the day we were married in Bali (which is another miraculous manifestation story for another time).
Ihappened.knewthat
Than to take rank with those timid spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much
Because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat
@katiephillipswithlove
Love Alchemy | The School of Self Love
I felt SO FREAKN lucky to be sat having eggs and coffee, watching the kids giggle and eat pancakes while James told them off for overdoing it with the syrup. The noise, mess, laughter and general breakfast chaos was my idea of HEAVEN. And in that moment I connected with the truth that I CREATED IT.
‘
FREE 5 day challenge reveals how entrepreneurial single women can boost self confidence, self trust and self worth TO ATTRACT YOUR SOUL MATE by taking you on an empowering inner journey.
Today I am SO grateful that I am married to the love of my life. He makes me smile and laugh so much and I feel 100% supported by him every single day. He adds to my life. He is my partner in crime and he makes me feel ‘at home’.
www.theschoolofself.love MEET YOUR SOUL MATE
LOVE ALCHEMY
Meet Your Soul (katiephillips661.lpages.co)Mate
The moral to the story today is the importance of giving yourself permission to go for your desires. And if you’d like more information about how I am successfully supporting women to call in their soul mate, see below.
I chose to love myself enough to do whatever it would take to allow myself to have my heart’s desire. And BOOM!
When we choose love we are met with love.
The Empowered Feminine Approach To Dating that not only works, it prepares you to be the woman that is capable of sustaining the empowered relationship you’ve always wanted.
EXPERIENCE’
I have a vivid memory from about 3 years ago when I was sat at our breakfast table crying. James and our three kids looked at me in shock, wondering what was wrong. I said I was crying tears of happiness.
With love, Katie x
I work tirelessly to help Single Mums in Business in the UK gain business exposure whilst encouraging the flexible working movement, dispelling misconceptions and reducing stigma.
I was also able to speak with our now Prime Minister Liz Truss, she promised to look at the Social Impact Review and my accompanying letter. It worries me, I’m not sure any of them understand, but we must try, complaining without actively doing all you can to raise awareness amongst those who can implement positive change is like looking at the running machine whilst complaining about lack of exercise. We cannot wait for the grass to be greener, we have to water the grass.
During the six years that I was trying to build my company I could not access the help I needed. Exhibiting was unaffordable, banks turned me away due to poor credit, TV was out of reach, advertising was expensive, and the jobs that fitted my skillset and salary insisted full time or nothing. I will now help others so that they do not suffer as I have. Motherhood should not be a financial penalty.
When I first wrote to the Prime Minister in 2015 I explained these challenges, I had a response from the Prime Minister’s office to advise that my letter had been passed to the DWP. The DWP responded that they were introducing Universal Credit, that would make work work for single parents. I realised that they really didn’t understand the problem. I didn’t want to go onto UC, I wanted to continue my career and enjoy financial autonomy and pay tax in, not need it out. When I finally managed to speak to the ex Chancellor at the Hustings in August I explained my frustration that his true belief was that those who needed food banks also needed upskilling or help into work. Most of us on the ground floor know that we have very skilled hard working people who cannot afford to buy food as well as pay living costs, but alas the message was delivered.
It was also nice to have a good chat to Mark Harper, Conservative MP for Forest of Dean, after a few lost emails. But we have to persevere, and trust them to give it their best shot, empowered with greater knowledge!
It will be really nice to remove these barriers so that we can finance our own stability, instead of being forced to beg for help, further fuelling the stigma and misconceptions about our community’s work ethos, and focus on other matters that need our attention, such as unethical capitalists, the environment and more vulnerable members of society who need our help in so many ways.
I do not know what the next three months looks like, but I know that Rome wasn’t built in a day, (and we must be mindful that our Queen passed on day two of Liz’s new job in which time she had already enforced a cap for business fuel it is a start) I also know that our Prime Minister is acutely aware of our community, and it fills me with great pride that SMBN members have benefitted from this incredible exposure, at the highest level.
That is what the SMBN is about, fighting spirit, not giving up, standing up for our right to be heard, and reinforcing that fact that the SMBN means that fighting SOLO is no longer fighting SOLO.
• Barriers to Finance, Cost to Economy and Solution
With every change comes renewed hope, renewed hope for action, change, and a better future for us all, and whatever your political views, this is todays’ reality, and this is where less drama, and more productive focus is needed.
I promised our ladies I would get our message to the top, and despite my head being held under water by most who could help me do that, I did it anyway.
• Barriers to Home, Cost to Economy and Solution
It certainly feels as though the last year has been focused on internal politics between politicians, deflecting away from a society crying out for help, suffering at the hands of greed, let us hope now, that with the scandals and hustings finally over; and with close observation by our compassionate KING CHARLES III, that the Government can refocus on the sick and suicidal society suffering in its shadows.
• Stigma, Misconceptions, and Ignorance
The Social Impact Review addresses:
• Barriers to Work, Cost to Economy and Solution
Having to turn to the state for support, when you have always been a proud tax payer with a strong work ethic, purely as a result of childcare v presenteeism, is a painful degrading reality, and a great economic cost, that could be resolved so easily with either work fitting into childcare or childcare covering work, one has to give, and I am very hopeful now, that Liz, with first hand knowledge of the Social Impact Review, will be able to address this.
It was a real pleasure to meet Liz Truss last month at the Ledbury hustings, it is not the first time I have spoken to Liz, we first met via Zoom in 2020 thanks to Alison Cork, Make it Your Business, and then again earlier this year as part of her on line hustings; and so when we finally met in person in August, she recognised me, which of course was really nice, and, she took the Single Mums Business Magazine, along with a personal letter, and promised to absorb the contents and reiterated how she vows to address the issue of childcare for those of us doing all we can to continue working.
And is printed on the next few pages.
2.Barriers to Finance, Cost to Economy and Solution
4.Stigma, Misconceptions, and Ignorance
Most women, following reproduction, face barriers to work that did not exist prior to becoming a primary carer.
Barriers
leave, when my request for flexible, or pro rata, slightly reduced hours was declined, due to the full time hours being required to suit the needs of the business under my job description, along with not wanting to set a precedent for other members of staff who may want to work flexibly, I found myself in a situation where I had to advise I would not be returning to work, simply due to the logistical problem of fitting work and the commute into childcare hours. Whilst some women will have (physical) co parenting or grandparent support, millions do not, including those in marriage.
Duringline.maternity
As we celebrate members and help to raise awareness of their product or service, we have some serious work to do. The Social Impact Report below was widely distributed since its publication in February last year, and we are seeing some great changes, but we will continue to share it until these barriers cease to exist…
3.Barriers to Home, Cost to Economy and Solution
I was not too concerned initially as I had several qualifications and a strong work ethic and so I confidently went about searching for work that would support my needs as a primary carer to work a little more flexibly. This was when I was faced with the reality of suddenly entering a job market with millions of other, intelligent, capable, experienced, and qualified mothers, all needing this flexible / pro rata work. I found work but it was incredibly low pay, under market value for the level of responsibility, due to the high demand for part time work. Consequently, I needed to apply for Income Support, Housing Benefit, Council Tax Reduction, and I was living in relative poverty without a reasonable food budget, let alone any disposable income. In a short space of time my home was repossessed, and I was trapped in the private rental sector, further increasing my outgoings and need for benefits.
1.Barriers to Work, Cost to Economy and Solution
SingleMumsBusinessNetwork SocialImpactReview
Drawing on my own personal experience I had a strong work ethic from age 14 when I began working part time, I worked full time immediately following my GCSE’s for 20 years prior to starting a family age 35. I had full expectation of maintaining a full time salary albeit with a little flexibility, and being self sufficient whilst continuing to pay my mortgage which at this point was 10 years and £60K down the
1.BarrierstoWork,CosttoEconomyandSolution
The cost to the economy is evident. Instead of paying tax on a full time or 0.7FTE wage, I was in receipt of benefits, the long term impact of this will be more evident throughout this review.
When I worked in Tenerife in 1998 the local government enforced a law that meant any ex pat business had to employ a 20% local workforce, to ensure their native Canarians were not at a professional or financial disadvantage. It would be reasonable to ask the UK Government to introduce similar legislation to ensure that we do not suffer a disadvantage because of being a primary carer. It is presenteeism that drives benefits and costs the economy billions. Legislation would need to ensure at least 30% of the UK workforce are employed 0.7 or 0.8 FTE in every pay scale. Where flexible and part time working does exist currently, it is mostly an option for support staff and not senior employees. Support staff are more likely to be on a lower wage and consequently are more likely to need universal credit to top up their income.
Equally we need to explore the possibility of a more modern school year. We no longer need children to work the farms on the summer or stay home in the heat. We are in the 21st Century, but still operating as if it were the 19th Century.
As I continued to search for work in line with my skillset and salary scale, I was met on a daily basis with hundreds of social media posts inviting me to work for free, for companies with zero corporate responsibility with respect to the supply chain or Modern Slavery Act, under the ruse of self employment, or I was invited to work in the care sector, which, whilst is an incredible thing to do, is low paid and often underutilises your skillset.
Cost to Economy
The real drivers of universal credit are the companies who have a pay scale that does not support levelling up the country and UK economy, and insist on 9 5, 8:30 4:30, 9 5:30 or later with an hour for lunch. If you cannot commit to these hours you are often locked out of work in line with your skillset and salary scale that you have previously worked towards achieving.
We need to reformulate the company pay structure to visually support the circular economy, rather than the hierarchy economy. These companies would then have corporate responsibility for social impact and the UK benefits bill would be reduced by billions.
It is easy to see how a circular corporate structure would support a circular economy. The thinkers would not have an operation without the doers. We need to level up salaries and remove any structure that leaves the entry level or support staff without sufficient basic needs. This is relevant for every UK employee currently living in relative poverty because of a pay scale that is not in sync with the cost of living. Capitalism = benefits = cost to economy.
Solution
2. Barriers to Finance, Cost to Economy and Solution
1. Barriers to Work, Cost to Economy and Solution
SocialImpactReviewcontinued...
Cost to Economy
3. Barriers to Home, Cost to Economy and Solution
Again, it is clear how financial barriers cost the economy. From the costs of bankruptcy to the long-term need for benefits due to financial adversity. Already pensions are affected.
Consequently, with a determination not to be reliant long term on benefits as a result of low pay and high rent, I persevered with setting up my own company and working on a self employed basis, alongside part-time work, studying a law degree and solo parenting. But of course, the credit score and lack of asset security, meant that banks and other high street lenders would not help me escape the financial pit of relative poverty and I was judged only on credit score, not on work ethic, acumen, or business potential. These barriers to finance resulted in me being unable to kickstart my business and walk away from needing to claim income support.
4. Stigma, Misconceptions, and Ignorance
2.BarrierstoFinance,CosttoEconomyandSolution Barriers
Once you enter a world of low income, relative poverty, and without means to put by disposable income for a rainy day, your barriers to finance increase significantly. Consequently, your level of debt further increases when life has a habit of facing you with unaffordable essential expenditure, and you end up in a trap that leaves you, and the economy, in tatters. Again, drawing on my own personal experience. Once I faced the barriers to continue my self sufficient salary, in quick succession my home was repossessed, my credit file damaged to such a degree that I could not access affordable consolidation or rainy day loans, and my only options were high interest loans, pay day loans, and other high interest borrowing. These loans were not used for luxury living, short breaks or big screen TV’s, they were used to cover essential bills, rent shortfall, and food. I was advised to declare myself bankrupt on several occasions, but my adversity did not sway my pride, and desire to repay all borrowing in full. I did not want to have a negative impact on the economy or supply chain, and with help entered arrangements to pay debts long term rather than write them off. But I understand why people do write them off, as often it is unethical, capitalist lending that leaves you vulnerable to loss of life if you do not evidence the results of high interest lending.
There are many ways to resolve the financial barriers that exist. Regulation of loans and cost of living alongside access to business finance and greater business support. Many women choose self-employment as a measure to continue working when society makes it very difficult for you to earn a living in line with your skillset in the sanctuary of employment security, pensions, and corporate responsibility. If the work force unwittingly holds primary carers back due to presenteeism and capitalism the UK must do better to help people help themselves generate a reasonable salary when they have a strong work ethic. The first solution would be to address the credit scoring system that leaves millions of people without access to finance. The UK is particularly good at offering student loans and it would serve well to offer similar self employment or small business loans. As with the bounce back loans, the bank could be obliged to lend to those in financial hardship with the promise of government underwriting. The best possible thing the Government can do is remove financial barriers and stop banks from holding people back from helping themselves. This money can either be recovered from company income, wages, or worst case scenario benefits, as some other small loans are. But C19 has helped millions of UK constituents see that universal credit would never be a lifestyle choice by anybody who has ever drawn a wage, and that it is a truly degrading, humiliating and unsustainable way of living, if you want any life at all. This would save the economy billions in the long term on benefits, and until the last breath, pension credits.
from poverty and refuse to help people out of poverty. This all costs the circular economy and has negative social impact. Disposable income is spent in the economy. Charges and debt cost the economy by increasing the need for benefits and debt relief.
Bankscharges.profit
Solution
Equally more attention needs to be given to bank charges, and higher cost of bills due to lower income. To elaborate, when you earn a higher wage and have disposable income you are likely to pay your bills annually, or quarterly, from Council Tax, Car Tax, Home Insurance, Car Insurance, TV Licence, Water and Electricity. When you have been unable to budget for these due to living without disposable income, you have to pay these monthly, when you pay these monthly, you pay more for the ‘privilege’ of doing so. When you are paying bills monthly in adversity, normally this has to be by Direct Debit. If you pay by standing order you can easily move the payment by a couple of days if you are without means, which is often a reality when you live with negative income, in work poverty. Consequently, unable to self manage direct debits, banks will charge you for unpaid direct debits, the company will also charge you for unpaid direct debits, because it is more administration for them, instead of you. With the reality of so many in financial hardship, we need to understand that this is not poor money management, this is poor governance of income v cost of living, and inability to have the autonomy to manage one’s outgoings on a weekly basis without incurring
Entering a world of low pay or barriers to finance leaves you in a situation where you consequently face barriers to home. Again, drawing on my personal experience. I had worked for a decade prior to securing my first mortgage and I paid my mortgage for a decade prior to having to enter a world of low paid work and needing a benefit top up in order to survive. Due to the simultaneous adverse credit score I faced significant barriers to home. As part of my career journey I was a qualified estate and letting agent, and I not only witnessed, but was instrumental in, discriminating against prospective tenants with poor credit score or in receipt of benefits, and pricing both sale and rental property, at a rate that was pleasing only to the landlord or vendor, without real Governance or understanding in my twenties of how this would adversely affect the economy long term, leave very vulnerable people destitute, and support the long term rental trap. I am pleased that I was duly punished for this with my own experience. I returned to the same estate agent that I worked for when I was a married homeowner, and landlord, a year later as a single mum on benefits, with a poor credit score and without a guarantor, begging for an affordable property for myself and my daughter, after already being turned away by every other estate agent, and knowing fully why. They did not help me. I had to turn to private, accidental landlords, who advertised in press rather than through an agent. Consequently, these landlords / homes, were either more expensive, short-term, in poor condition, or unethical or unsafe in some other way. I moved several times with my daughter, always paying my rent, albeit with the help of pay day loans, with the constant lack of understanding from those closest to me. Asking why I lived in an expensive house instead of an affordable town house or why I was moving again, they did not understand that the affordable, long term, secure town houses were let to those who looked good on paper, and without a guarantor I was turned away, over 100 times during 6 years of begging.
SocialImpactReviewcontinued...
3. Barriers to Home, Cost to Economy and Solution
4. Stigma, Misconceptions, and Ignorance
Barriers
1. Barriers to Work, Cost to Economy and Solution
2. Barriers to Finance, Cost to Economy and Solution
Of course, my frustration, was that if I had had some help with my mortgage, I could have saved my home, my own estate, my child’s secure future, if there was help in this way I did not know about it. The UK creates booklets of advice for some minority groups, and I think if a similar booklet had been given to me in the maternity ward, the cost to the economy would have been significantly reduced.
3.BarrierstoHome,CosttoEconomyandSolution
Because of this rental trap, I needed benefits, the cost to the economy is clear, but when I was eventually awarded a social housing tenancy, my income covered my rent, and so I no longer needed housing benefit, so was it me on benefits, or my landlords. Landlords who profited and gained estates at the cost of the taxpayer. My rent was £200 more than my mortgage, every month for six
to the economy over a lifetime is significant. It is not only the cost of needing to apply for housing benefit to pay private rent, but also the long term impact of that private rent leaving the tenant without disposable income, without means to improve the credit score, without means to apply for or save for a mortgage, yet the monthly outgoings of private rent are often equal to, or more than, monthly outgoings for a mortgage. This means reduced means to save a pension, and this means paying rent to the last breath.
Solution
If you remove barriers to homeownership, you remove the need for housing benefit and pension credits in later life. Of course, nobody would want benefits to buy somebody a house, although it is arguable that benefits are exactly what buy landlords houses. It is reasonable to set a standard for a person to evidence a decade of work, tax contributions, and ability to pay rent before they become a homeowner, at least then if they do fall on hard times and need benefits, they are still paying into their own estate and not that of another person. The long term saving to the economy is great, and after a decade of payslips and financial autonomy nobody will choose benefits long term. If a person can pay their own mortgage for 20 or 30 years, they can then spend disposable income into the economy for the last 1/3 or 1/4 of their life. If they do not have a mortgage, they will be struggling to pay rent in their 60’s, 70’s, 80’s 90’s and so on. This will have an impact on each generation in that family, without inheritance, security, or the bank of mum and/or dad to help
governance of the private rental sector. This has come a long way with respect to discrimination and fees (albeit discrimination remains subtle), but price setting is ungoverned.
We must accept that houses are no longer £7000. We no longer live in a society where a man’s wage will pay for the cost of living, whilst his wife takes care of all childcare, school holidays, cleaning, cooking, sick days and so on and has equal share to his pension and permanent stability as a result. We live in a society where 1 in 4 households with dependents are single households. One salary no longer enables the cost of living or provides the opportunity to save a mortgage deposit. And women are no longer able to cover school holidays on top of full time work, pension, homeownership, and high private rents. We need to make it okay for one salary to cover one cost of living, otherwise we force people to remain in abusive relationships and make adults less accountable for their behaviour and marriages hard to leave. A marriage should be a happy place, and a financial benefit, not a financial necessity.
Equally,them.
Theyears.cost
Cost to the economy
Private rent is a capitalist enterprise, which could at the very least offer grounds for a mortgage where deposit or credit scoring is adversely affected due to barriers to finance and work in sync with salary and skillet. The Government have offered to grants to landlords, but this money could be used to put the estate in the rightful hands of the one paying for it. Credit scoring and barriers to deposit have a lifetime affect on the economy and carries a greater penalty than bankruptcy or manslaughter.
SocialImpactReview
1. Barriers to Work, Cost to Economy and Solution
4.Stigma,Misconceptions,andIgnorance Stigma
4. Stigma, Misconceptions, and Ignorance
It is often perceived that a single mum has made bad choices, that she has made a lifestyle choice, and that she is a single mum because she is work shy or uneducated. We must challenge this and help to raise awareness that most of us have a strong work ethic, happy and healthy children, and are single by being divorced or widowed after trying to do it by the book.
Thank you for reading the Social Impact Review created by the Single Mums Business Network, UK. Crucially many of us are in business as a measure to make work work as a primary carer. We do not want to suffer financial hardship because of procreation, and we are doing all that we can to be financially self sufficient whilst working hard to ensure that these barriers do not equate to long term cost to the economy. Until things change there are many ways that the Government can help us to succeed in self employment and we would welcome an audience to discuss that. We can contribute to the UK economy; we can be considered for public sector contracts and we can import and export where we are in manufacturing or supply goods or services. We also need protecting from ungoverned unethical recruiters who enjoy great profit without corporate or social responsibility. We are fighting to build our own pension and provide some stability for our children. Whilst this document is relevant to all primary cares, single dads, and parents in marriage, the focus here is on the 90% of single parents and primary carers in the UK who are women, but it hopes to have a positive impact in reducing barriers to all, regardless of sex or status.
Closing word
Misconceptions
3. Barriers to Home, Cost to Economy and Solution
We do not need upskilling, we need barriers removed so that we can use our skills, we do not need a rich man, we need barriers removed so that we can create our own stability and estate, we do not need apprenticeships, we need work in sync with childcare. We do not need charity; we need access to 100% finance to build our own business regardless of adversity.
Ignorance
(c) Copyright Single Mums Business Network 26th February 2021
continued...
2. Barriers to Finance, Cost to Economy and Solution
When I refer to ignorance, I never mean to cause any real offence, ignorance is simply lack of knowledge or experience. I was ignorant and was still a perpetrator to these barriers in my early 30’s. If you do not understand what holds people back and how easily that can be changed that is forgivable, but once you know, you must do something about it. These barriers are created by society. These barriers can be removed by governance of society.
We have had some fantastic landmark rulings of late whereby mothers have successfully taken legal action against employers for not enabling them to work flexibly around their childcare barriers. This sets a lifechanging precedent and, in [21.09.21] news suggested that the Department for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy (BEIS) planned to allow millions of workers to request flexible working from day one at a new employer, replacing the current 26 week period…these requests can still too easily be denied, and, can leave a lady feeling vulnerable for feeling awkward. We need to take the onus off the lady, and implement this (flexible working) as an automatic right at law.
1 in 4 families are single parents. and most two parent families have one parent at home to avoid the childcare battle. In atwo parent family where one partner earns £28K and theother partner faces barriers, the UC entitlement is £3000, this rises to £4700 for £24K household income and so on. If you multiply this by a class of 30 these 45 minutes cost the economy approx. £115,000 per year in UC. For a single parent this likely to be more. Only a small % of the economy are top earners. If both partners could work full time their household income could increase by at least £18K per annum for your averageofficejob, andthe economy would benefit from an extra £4K per personin tax (£120Kclassof 30).
In response to mydaughter’s school confirming that they would continue to closeat 5:15I argued:
I
'Iaddedhope
'As it stands unless a role finished at 5pm on the dot in *town* or *town* and parking is outside of work and you are prepared to drive putting speed ahead of safety to park outside of school to meet the 5:15 deadline this is extremely stressful,anddangerous.
17:15childcareclosecosttoeconomyperannumper150pupilschool£881,250 thisisaveragewithoutknowledgeof specificlocaldata.
For this we thank the Government and the Judiciary for taking positive steps in the right direction, but we do have a mountain to climb and we need legislation ensuring that childcare hours and working hours are governed properly to ensure that barriers to work no longer exist.
Ifall150canworkfulltimefor£18Kwouldresultapprox.£500Kannualtaxincome.'
1in 4 single parent = cost to economy £450,000 (150 / 4= 37.5x 1000x 12)
When we are healthy and have a strong work ethic we should not need to touch the public purse at all.
If 1in 4families aresingle parents this increases. So for a school with 150 pupils, 45minutes ofchildcare provisionlooks something like this.
150 parents unable to work full time
I cannot complain about this situation enough, and I cannot believe those who hold the public purse strings and could easily legislate work in sync in childcare are not making this right! Needless to say I did not get a reply,andso neither me nor any 1 of those 120 parents who may be looking for work can apply for most full time roles out there… andthebattlecontinues…Disclaimer myfiguresmaybeoutbutpaymethetreasurer’ssalaryandIwillsitdownfor anhourortwowithacalculator!(hmmm...canthetreasurerworkflexibly?!)
3in 4 of those parents married = cost to economy £431,250
the school can provide a better opportunity and outcome for the families within it and the greater social impact. Funds from the public sector purse should be to support public sector pay and those with disabilities. They should not be used to cover childcarebarriers with an ablebodied workforce.'
I apologise this text leans towards women at home and men in employment, but that is based on the majority. I am aware that this applies to many fathers and single dads also.
A married mother will often have the stability of her husband’s income while she builds her business around childcare. If her husband’s salary worked the same way benefits did, the Government would take several hundred pound of that every month, regardless of whether or not his wife was bringing money in from her business, because she ‘should’ be. This will leave them short for rent, food, bills, council tax and so on, and certainly without disposable income.
So what is the bigger picture?
I hear you argue that her husband earns that money, but a single mum doesn’t earn benefits, but we need to understand. We trust 20% + of our wages to the Government every month without question, for a lifetime, in agreement that we will not be destitute in our hour of need, in health, or income. Single mums in business have not chosen a benefit
It is critical to remember, that most mums end up in business because they need the flexibility around childcare. If it was that appealing, all men would do it too, but it is much easier to enjoy a salary, a pension, work comradeship and have the children looked after by their primary carer.
So what do we need? Understanding, humanity, and appreciation that we are trying to be financially independent long term. And that the short term money we may need is our tax, that we paid without question, to ensure we are all okay if we have a physical or practical barrier
lifestyle, they are not workshy, they are desperate to work, they have an extensive skillset, but because of childcare restrictions v presenteeism they lose their careers and are asked to work part time in low skilled and low paid work.
If a single mum ‘gives in’ on building her business at the stroke of 12, she is then forced into under skilled and under paid work, and is equally forced into needing benefit top ups for the duration of being a single parent. However, if she is supported and encouraged to build her business for a couple of years, until she DOES achieve that income, she will not need benefits for the rest of her working life, and she will go back to paying tax sooner rather than later.
This is a real life Cinderella story of desperately fighting before the clock strikes 12.
.
It was really great to hear Martin Lewis talk about the MIF being lifted in the beginning of November 2020, as part of his C19 televised support; until this, many people wouldn’t know about it or understood how it worked.. Let me explain.
If, because of all the reasons explained, you are out of salaried work, and fighting to grow a business because you do not want to live on benefits, you may still need to rely on benefits for a while. When you are a single mum on benefits, the period that you have to draw a full time wage from your business is 12 months. Most men and women in my network know that it takes a few years to build a business to such a level that you can cover your business expenses, pay for continued growth, and draw a full time wage.
The Minimum Income Floor relaxations being lifted fell at the same time as the UC uplift removal, and so if for example you have a child aged between 5 and 12, you will need to be earning the minimum wage at 25 hours per week, that increases to 35 aged 13. That is very difficult to achieve in 12 months. Turnover, yes, profit, more time is needed. This is why I am so passionately protective when it comes to single mums falling prey to certain MLM schemes, get rich by investing in Cryptocurrency schemes and high ticket sales loops.
what you but into and who you give your time to, please. At least when I buy something from Boots I know the lady on the till gets steady salary and perks etc, and I still love the Body Shop as they operate differently.
I speak from experience of seeing those who suffer most.
ticket sales are equally unethical, they charge desperate people lots of money to tell them to charge lots of money and so on, but what are you charging for? What is the skill? If the skill is to charge people to charge people you won’t sleep well at night at the end of the day. We all need to work for a living, and we need to remove these desperate situations of high private rent, low wages, panic MIF, destitute level UC and so on that leaves people helpless to properly help Bethemselves.verycareful
It has never been more crucial to help people get away from needing universal credit. Anybody who has experienced it knows that it is no life at all, and UC income does not offer enough to cover rent and utilities and food, something always has to give, leading into either being cold or unhealthy as carbs and junk food are much cheaper than a healthy diet or needing NHS support for physical and emotional problems as a result. We have already covered the fact that so many are dependent on UC due to barriers that should not exist, and whilst it aims to help it is not enough and whilst the government will remove the uplift to further encourage those who can work, to work, they need to make sure that those who can work, can work
It is glorified unpaid employment. These companies upset me as it is me who ends up trying to clear up their mess instead of spending quality time with my daughter. I do not blame the women who fall for it, but I will not pretend to support it either. It should be used as pocket money in spare time, and if that blossoms then Highgreat.end
Selling stuff for another company, working for free, for their benefit, is really not okay, not when it is sold as an achievable full time income, which normally it is not, and less so as time goes on and the market is more saturated with more and more recruited into the MLM industry in order to achieve pyramid style income. These companies need to be honest about average income, and pay proportionate holiday and sick pay and pension, instead of recruiting with the promise of a work from home full time salary lifestyle. They are unethical and it is only those at the top of the
To be clear it is not your business if you cannot choose to have your own ecommerce website or PR literature etc.
pyramid who benefit from this lifestyle, and it is understandable that so many fall prey to this, as they are so desperate to find a way to make work work and escape the relative poverty trap, with high private rents to pay they will take desperate measures, and essentially what they are doing is losing the window of opportunity to focus on their ‘own’ business, and build their own steady income, whilst the MIF does apply.
Purple Shoots is a registered UK charity and a Responsible Finance Provider. www.purpleshoots.org
Being financially independent and working to save money might seem like a pipe dream. The thing is, all you need is a ”break” and Purple Shoots is committed to offering you one.
• Through finance. We provide small business loans at fair rates, we aren’t sharks! It’s easy to apply, with some simple forms to fill in and a meeting. We can offer help with the form filling. Sounds too good to be true? We have a track record of six years, helping people who needed a hand up, not just more hand outs. and we have made a real difference to many people’s lives.
• By creating self reliant groups (SRGs) We provide a place for you to get together with other local people and learn new skills. Come and get empowered! Share your ideas and save and make money with other people. Take back control over your life and make better opportunities for yourself, your family and your community.
www.workforgood.co.uk/businesses/single-mums-business-network/
Purple Shoots have been a lifeline for me personally and I am proud to have pledged to donate 5% of all member fees to Purple Shoots in 2021. This will run from 1st April 2021 to 31st March 2022.
Purple Shoots Business Lending (“Purple Shoots”) is a not-for-profit micro finance organisation and a registered charity.
‘Purple Shoots has helped start around 600 new businesses in recent years. That's 600 plus people who are no longer on benefits and who have a chance of making a go of something for themselves!’
They can help you in two ways:
The benefit of the MIF is that you have 12 months to say ‘this is me, this is what I do, this is me, this is what I do, this is me, this is what I do, this is me, this is what I do……’
There are many ways to be self employed and earn a full time income, exceeding what you would earn in standard employment governed by minimum wage, here are some ideas. The only thing you HAVE to do is work really hard at it! Self employment isn’t a ruse to keep people quiet for a year, nor is it a ticket to an easy life where you only work a few hours per week for a passive income. What it is, is an opportunity to set your own earning limits, to attend your own meetings and school plays, and to genuinely excel at doing what you love that also serves others and remunerates you.
Most of the suggestions below can easily generate £100 per day £2K per month, for 5 x £20. plus an hour to set aside tax. Get thinking, get doing! Only you can stop you!
is not ‘just’ responsible finance. It saves lives, it saves children from losing mothers. It supports the economy, and the banks as they help people recover as an alternative to administration, they help you to continue to use your skills, upskill, increase confidence, and attend interviews with your headheldhigh.
It has been a privilege and a joy to watch Purple Shoots expand since they came to my rescue, and last week they invited me to their South Yorkshire launch with their Divisional Director Richard Kirtley where I was able to share my story to help their new audience understand the incredible impact of their work. As I said in my
The list is ENDLESS but crucially you can spend two decades or a lifetime on benefits or you can spend a couple of years training up to do something you LOVE. If you are 46, you will be fully qualified in pretty much anything by 50 and you can spend 25 years enjoying work and paying a big fat tax bill we just need GOVERNMENT to make sure there aren’t barriers, we need to make sure all of these careers can be worked in childcare hours, OR, you need to learn everything there is to know about self employment and work for yourself. There is always a way. If THEY won’t help you, help yourself instead.
Purplespeech;Shoots
Founder of Pet Travel Safety Day on July 1st #pettravelsafetyday
I am offering franchise opportunities across the UK, this is a comprehensive package with tailored help and support. No two customers are the same so no two franchisees are the same. I can help franchisees not just with training on day to day running of the service and the high level of customers service we offer, but also marketing and publicity for their business, gaining them free advertising.
I can’t wait to build my team and help other people to love what they do. Pop on over to our social media to see how much our customers truly value the service and what I
Ido.can
Franchisees need to be animal lovers and be good with people, that’s it, no need to have any business knowledge, no marketing background. I can teach people all of those things, what I cant teach is how to be a good person in their core. If you really want to help people, I want to hear from you
Pets 2 Places isn’t just about the service though, I’ve become the country’s leading expert on pet transport, I’ve created an awareness day to highlight the importance of transporting pets correctly. Pet Travel Safety Day is now an annual awareness day on 1st July. Alongside this awareness day I aim to educate all dog owners and other pet professionals about transporting pets with the creation of a dog transport course.
’t think of a better role than being with animals all day and called an angel and a god send all day. Its truly an honour to be able to help people with their pets.
I’m Claire Harris founder of Pets 2 Places, the worlds first pet taxi franchise. Pets 2 Places is so much more than just a taxi service
Pets 2 Places was founded in 2014, as a service that takes customers with their pets to the vets. It quickly grew into taking owners anywhere they needed to go with their pets, including groomers, kennels, over to see their friends, even on holiday and for divorced couple’s sharing custody of their dog/s.
Itthough.
I love what I do and I have built a great business around my family commitments.
’s a multi award winning company with heart, ethos and passion.
I’m also looking to undertake some research and development into accidents involving dogs, to create my own range of crash tested equipment.
And since we wrote the last article on the left, Claire has already set up her first successful franchisee! Solihull is the first place to have a Pets 2 Places pet taxi service franchise.
Congratulations Claire! Website: Phone:Email:@pets2placesfranchiseopportunitesFacebook:www.pets2places.co.uk@petsplacesmiltonKeynes.info@pets2places.co.uk07548926220
Already a success after only a few weeks, found her customers come in all shapes and sizes. ‘One lady I have helped is housebound so I take just the dogs to the vets, when the vet gave medication in a tiny syringe, the owner said she wouldn’t be able to do this as she has arthritis and can’t manage the syringe, it’s ok though I to help give the medication every day, whatever we can do to help our customers we do. It isn t really going above and beyond it’s just being a good kind person’
Nicola Hughes has come from a background of childminding and swim kids instructor, and with her own menagerie of animals at home, a pet taxi is the perfect opportunity.
Whether it’s vets, groomers, kennels, over to visit friends or even on holiday; Pets 2 Places Solihull is on hand to help owners with their pets where ever they need to go.
‘I think I’ve finally found my dream job, its a pleasure to be able to help people with their pets, and the customers are so grateful, its really nice to hear how much of a difference I’m making in their life just by offering a small amount of help’ One customer said ‘I needed to get my cat to the vets in an emergency, she hasn’t been eating or drinking for almost 24 hours, I was so worried how
I would get there, but the vets gave me the number for Pets 2 Places, it was so easy to book and Nic was really nice, even carried the cat to the car for me. Sadly my cat didn’t make it but having Nic to help me, just made it a bit less stressful’ If you need a pet taxi in Solihull or the surrounding areas, give Nic a call on 07549007268 or pop over to our website
Retail Entrepreneur Theo Paphitis! being recognised as a highly coveted Small Business Sunday winner.
On Sunday 4th September, Claire Harris, owner of Pets 2 Places Ltd tweeted Theo about her business during ‘Small Business Sunday’ and on Monday was delighted to find she was one of the lucky weekly winners to gain a retweet by Theo to his near half a million Twitter followers.’
‘
Nic who turned 50 last year was really excited to start the service in her own area. She said animals and I’m great with people, with my background I have a lot of experience with working with all sorts of people so this seemed the ideal opportunity for me.’
SMBN Member Pollyanna England is brainchild and founder of Nirvana Investors. We are also very proud that Pollyanna is a member of the SMBN and you can read about Pollyanna’s journey on pages 10 11; how she set up Nirvana Investors and how many families she has already helped into home Pollyannaownership!
’s work is SO valuable and a true lifeline when you are trapped into a lifetime of renting instead of paying into your own estate. Thank you Pollyanna for the work that you do and for leading by example.
Nirvana Investors celebrated their first Anniversary on 16th October 2021 and at the SMBN we are so proud of what they have managed to achieve.
I thank Pollyanna for stepping up first and enabling home-ownership where society said no. She has already saved lives, and as a culture, a United Kingdom, we can save millions more... Rent
Generation
If a person needs benefits and is locked into rental property for a lifetime, benefits are needed for life, costing the economy and tax payer more, and the next generation are also less likely to secure a mortgage without the equity or stability of mum or dad. These proposals offer the greatest incentive to lifestyle claimants, as you only qualify if you meet the work requirements, I would imagine this will be circa the current MIF requirements. You reduce the need for Pension Credits, and home owners are more likely to have equity to pay for their own care.
The savings to the economy are huge, the motivation is great, and ultimately, the humanity of enabling every working person to own their own home, rather than pay the mortgage of a more privileged neighbour who has a deposit, is the greatest currency of all. Humanity. Try not to be too judgmental about those in adversity. Be a big enough person to question your own beliefs about the real barriers that exist, and who may be actually be responsible for these.
In the last few issues I (Jules) have shared the calculation below on how damaging it is to be trapped into long-term rental, not only for the tenant, but for society as a whole, and the UK tax purse. Boris Johnson has just announced that he is going to work on removing barriers to home ownership, and very controversially has stated that it will be possible for benefit recipients to obtain mortgages too.
If you are up in arms about this, you must understand, benefits have always paid somebody’s mortgage. They have just been needed for 60 or 70 years instead of 30.
Nirvana Investors | An Innovative Approach To Investment & Home Owning
Ily.have
Alimenti Food Sciences getting to the core of food safety
a wealth of experience as a microbiologist and technical manager working in factories producing everything from bacon to ready meals. I was also commissioned to write a chapter for a handbook for global distribution for 3M on rapid hygiene assessment technologies. If you would like a free download, get in touch for the link. My clients now range from start
ups to established food businesses that want to grow their business. They are producing ready meals, sauces and pastes, snacks, and alcohol, at all temperature ranges from frozen through chilled to ambient, as well as handling these in a warehouse. They use all sorts of packaging from bottles to cases to trays made from plastic, compostablematerialandwood.
Some of my clients have accreditationssuchasSALSA.
There are allergen free products andallergenicproductsinthemix.
Alimenti was set up following my experience of working with small food producers in my role with Sodexo, as the technical lead for the buying team. I had coached several micro and small business owners through the approval process andfelt that I could make a living from doing this independent-
I am qualified as a BRCGS lead auditor for food.
I am always happy to have an informal chat with food business owners who want to grow their business.
Get in touch and let’s talk about what keeps you awake at 3am. Let me take the stress of food safety away and you can sleep again.
I can help food producers with any aspect of food safety from HACCP to microbiological testing plan review. Whilst a HACCP plan, and its review is a legal requirement, testing plans are often set up and left running with no one on the organization qualified to review them. I can help with this and may even save you money on the testing required.
My website is www.alimenti.co.uk
Louise Roberts
Services MJM Virtual Solutions
Yes, MJM Virtual Solutions can do all the general admin for your business. But how am I different to other VAs? I specialise in data protection. I have been working within the field of quality management and data protection for 5 years, gaining a qualification as a Data Protection Officer. As a certified Data Protection Officer, I set up Be Data Savvy to support businesses to be more data protection compliant. If you are struggling with data protection, why not give me a call.
When I first started out, I used to bid for work on one of the freelancer sites. I came across a request for support. They wanted someone who could proofread and reformat a document that is standard within the education sector. As an ex teacher, I knew this document well. It was a scheme of work. So, I contacted the prospective client. I explained my background and how I could help. I found out that the reason they wanted a VA was because they were working on a large contract and had multiple different aspects to do. Standardising the text and format as well proofreading was time consuming and something they knew could be done by someone else, allowing them to focus on a different aspect of the contract and business.
When you look down the Kaleidoscope for a business it is made up many moving parts; finance, marketing, HR, business development, operational management, quality and compliance, and IT to name a few. Trying to wear all those hats is difficult. More often than not, as small business owners we are working on delivery to our customers (working in the business). This leaves very little time on working on our business and growing it (being the CEO). Liaising with clients and suppliers via email, diary management, social media support can all be time consuming. Outsourcing it to someone enables business growth, without employees.
Have you ever wondered what a Virtual Assistant is? What they do?
‘Friend of the SMBN’, Caron Kipping
Caron is passionate about raising awareness and is often found on a podcast or being interviewed to offer her viewpoint or advice on abusive relationships.
Divorce & Separation Coach
Caron supports women (yes, and men) with many issues such as recognising abusive behaviour, conflict around child contact, Family Court issues, and financial abuse. Caron also offers guidance to help you move on – dating after abusive relationships, rebuilding confidence and setting goals for the future.
Caron is a Divorce Coach specialising in supporting people in abusive and controlling relationships or dealing with post-separational abuse.
Please visit Caron’s lovely website and read more here: https://caronkippingcoaching.com/
Caron is happily re married (the proof there is life afterwards!) and works part time as an accredited Divorce Coach and part-time at The Dash Charity domestic abuse charity where she has worked for many years as a domestic abuse specialist (or Independent Domestic Violence Advocate if you want the long version) and has worked there in several roles over the years, supporting survivors in high risk abusive relationships and educating professionals on how to respond better.
But one of the similar feelings that came up throughout and continues to, is this feeling as a single parent that
you were left behind, you're sort of missed off, forgotten or you're just overlooked a lot of the time. We are very much not in this together “
However I think an important part of this is helping us to understand that the problem doesn’t all lie with us as individuals and the work cannot all fall to us as single mums when there are so many external things at play.
What we are experiencing is real for so many, the juggle is real, the pressure, the expectations are real, and significantly, the systems we live in that seek to oppress and benefit from doing so are very much real. The systems that are there keeping us buried, keeping us small, keeping us burnt out, overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted, guilty and not feeling good enough because it benefits them to do so.
What does it mean to be a single mum today and how can we best navigate our way through it?
If we take on all the responsibilities and try to do it all, we set ourselves up to fail, to not feel good enough, to give up, to make unsustainable choices. We also ignore and dismiss the huge things going on around us that exist and make this so difficult for so many people. We ignore inequality, poverty, racism, mental health, capitalism and the patriarchy to name a few.
I was invited to give a speech at the House of Commons, the event was put on by the charity Gingerbread which supports and campaigns for single
The Single Mums Business Magazine was created to compliment the Single Mums thoughts,Memberexposureheard,theirplatformBusinessNetworkbyofferingmembersatousetheirvoices,toincreaseopportunitiestobeseenandaswellastohelpthemgaintotheirbusinesses.HereSMBNCarlyNewmansharesherandhowshehopestobea positive contributor for change.
I have always felt strongly about the amount of pressures and expectations put on us as women and as mothers and significantly for, single mothers. So my passion and focus is finding ways in which we can realistically reduce the pressures and expectations put on us by others and by ourselves. I spend a long time thinking about how we can better manage the load and balance of everything more effectively and how can we live without so much stress and overwhelm as Mums.
“
Earlierparents.thisyear
I’m Carly, single Mum to Ezra. I work in a leadership role in my day job but like many of you craved more flexibility, freedom, balance and earning potential that wasn’t at the expense of my family. So during the pandemic, I used the time to figure out what I really wanted and embarked on a coaching certification and training and started my own business. Since then I have been balancing full time work, running a coaching business, studying, and being a single parent. I also campaign and frequently speak to media about how things such as the cost of living crisis, cuts to Universal Credit, cost of childcare can disproportionately impact single
In a world that is always telling us we need to be doing it all, do more, work harder and if we don’t then ultimately its our fault, we are doing something wrong how do we as single parents navigate our way through all of this as well as raise our children alone, work, run businesses and stay sane?
Myparents.speech
focused on my experience as a single parent throughout the pandemic as well as coming out of the pandemic and the impacts of the cost of living crisis on many of us.
You can visit Carly’s website here:
Coaching For Single Mums | Carly Newman Coaching
Cary’s full speech via Gingerbread can be found here: 'Everything is double and yet we end up with half' Carly's single parent story Gingerbread
Single mums business network -members voices
I’m always thinking about how I can support myself as well as others to take responsibility where we can and where we want to but with enough awareness and compassion for ourselves when it comes to the things we can’t do, we can’t control, can’t change. Accepting the things that are far bigger than us that are real and still going to present us with daily challenges. And I invite you to consider this could mean for you.
Withfew.all
When we take responsibility for things and choose accountability it can be extremely empowering, it can be a catalyst for really important change because it puts you in control. Responsibility and accountability play a very important part in this but I believe change comes from collective responsibility and I want you to bare this in mind when you are doing the work, trying to make changes, trying to improve things, when you're burning out trying to do the work to make things better.
And on Instagram here: Carly Newman (@carlynewmanhere)
that disproportionately affect single parents. But with the knowing that collectively we can create meaningful changes one step at a time in our own wonderful ways, whatever that looks like.
I continue to campaign about the cost of living crisis, issues with universal credit, housing and other issues
But if we take on all the responsibilities and try to do it all, we can set ourselves up to fail, to not feel good enough, to give up, to make unsustainable choices. We also ignore and dismiss the huge things going on around us that exist and make this so difficult for so many people. We ignore inequality, poverty, racism, mental health, capitalism and the patriarchy to name a
that said, I don’t want us to feel powerless (we are powerhouses) because we absolutely can create change, change for ourselves and change for others.
Through my coaching work, campaigning, media work and community on social media I am thinking about, talking about, and sharing how we can better gain more confidence and knowledge to do the things we need to, to reduce overwhelm, stress and pressure that we experience as Mums in order to live in ways we really want to.
You can connect with Carly on FB here: MumPowerment | Facebook
What’s the point of being successful if it constantly feels like a lie?
Physically, you are RIGHT there ……….. but emotionally, you feel a despairing emptiness and loneliness, just wanting to escape your mind and feeling trapped inside your own head.
It was becoming a single mum that broke me, but also made me
I was suddenly looked at differently; I remember being asked by a friend if I was going to dye my hair blonde and start drinking Lambrini out the bottle with a puffa jacket on (referencing TV’s popular Single Mum characters of Vikki Pollard or Bianca Jackson). I got a warning from work after a 10 year clean record as I struggled with childcare and balancing everything suddenly on my own.
In 2015, My marriage broke down and I was thrown into the world of a single parent.
So you throw yourself into tasks, try every fad from the gym, to getting dressed up, getting out there and putting positive affirmations all around the bloody house. But eventually that motivation burns off and here you are again in your pit of loneliness with nothing but the latest Netflix binge, feeling like a failure, broken, just not good enough, feeling like maybe nothing will ever really make you happy.
I was deemed a success to my friends and family and checked off every box of what a successful woman should have done by my age: I'd moved away, got the degree, house, marriage, kid and even the high flying job. To the outside world, I was unstoppable. I was constantly in work and in a £40k a year job, managing others and
If they really knew, they'd think you're mad
rooms, like a massive failure about to be caught out. I battled with my weight, my mind, and with anyone who said they loved me, cause what was there to love?
People only see your mask; standing in a packed room, smiling, laughing, being outrageous and surrounded by people. They think you are so confident and have so much in life. And maybe you do: You may have the career, kids, the house, marriage...all the things that society and the status quo has told you that you should have to be happy and successful.
You are not broken or irreparable
You feel numb, fake and like you don’t really deserve any of this.
You want to feel connected, to really be able to love properly. You want motivation and confidence that lasts and doesn’t burn you out. And mostly, you just want to feel happy. To be able to enjoy life and the people around you.
supporting others through trauma and abuse.
In April 2016, my 29 years of battling finally came to a head as I contemplated ending my life. I’d been talking to a counsellor and on the anti depressants from the GP for months now
I felt like a ship about to hit an iceberg, ploughing through every day hiding behind a fake smile and sense of humour to keep people from realising that I felt like an imposter. I felt alone even in the fullest of
I got outstanding recognition from external agencies as well as my own colleagues and Butmanagers.inreality,
One Size Does Not Fit All!
After working in Residential Care for over 10 years, using typical counselling skills, therapeutic and psychological skills, I realised that one size does not fit all, and this is why the Social Care and Health systems in this country had so often failed people; Everyone is squeezed into this tiny square mould, and if you don’t fit, then you are broken, unfixable, a ‘problem’. We are told to either take pills, have counselling, or are just left as broken and to feel irreparable. Generic counselling and medication does work for SOME of the population, but we need to realise that it doesn’t for all and start investing in other alternative and proven approaches so that there is more help being offered to the public, and less
As a society, we accept that people have different tastes in music, food, preferences in partners and respond to these different stimuli in varying ways, and so why do we think that one limited and dated method/approach will work for everyone who is struggling?
We explore how the mind works to understand why those thoughts are there and pinpoint where they have come from, so that we can challenge them and get back in control of your mind and life. You can get in control of the thoughts in your head, be confident, and then get motivation that is consistent because you aren't trapped by thoughts that you can't anymore.
What ensued was several years of getting real with myself and aware of all the thoughts that kept leading back to the same place. I left my £40k a year job and took an £18k one with more flexibility, so that I could be a mum as well as retrain in something I believed would genuinely help others.
Find out more at www.hiyascoaching.com
If I could change one thing, it would be to make our GP surgeries more like a community hub for Health and Social Care, whereby all local services are promoted and offered whether it is coaching, a gym membership, reflexology, nutritionists for allergies, etc. We browse shops, hair styles, cars, fitness classes, and so we should be supported to try out different methods when it comes to our mental health. I believe that this would not only save the NHS and tax payers money by reducing the amount currently paid out in Sick Pay, but it would also mean for happier and more balanced people and better overall wellbeing in our workforce, children and adults, which ultimately leads to less suicides and people leaving loved ones because they just didn’t know where else to turn.
In my time of working with children and teenagers, my main undeniable strength was always being able to find a bespoke plan for each child, which is how I quickly progressed into management and creating my own in house training programmes My approach with people was always my strength, and I could easily combine different methods to find something that worked for each individual. This is what I do in my coaching work now.
I finally realised that the biggest and most dangerous bad habit I had wasn't drink or work or anything external, it was my mind.
people feeling that the only way out is suicide.
Free Initial consultation for 45 minutes
Training courses via zoom or in person:
Email: TwitterInstagramMobile:infor@gennyjonestraining.com07490830038@gennyjonestraining@gennyjones
1 day training via zoom £147 Additional charges if face to face ½ day training vis zoom £75 Additional charges if face to face www.gennyjonestraining.com
Genny Jones Accounting Trainer and Consultant
£30 per hour for one to one sessions
Website:
Understand your Profit and Loss and Balance sheet
Pricing of your products or services
Prepare sales projections and cashflow forecasts.
Basics of taxation for self employed and businesses
A bit about me
How I can help you
Review of your current bookkeeping systems
Coach you to be confident in understanding the journey from when you buy or sell something to the end products of your profit and loss and balance sheet. Help you to recruit, support or supervise your bookkeeper.
My name is Genny Jones and I am an accountant who can train you to understand the basics of bookkeeping and Accounts so that you can be able to confidently manage your business finances and be confident when you communicate with your accountant or other interested parties. With over 25 years of working in the profession with various accounting firms, businesses, charities and individuals, I have developed my services based on the needs which have identified and from the services I have provided over the years.
My Charges 1st April 2021 to 31 March 2022
At the end of the session participants will:
Tips on being happier
Genny Jones – Happiness and Wellbeing Consultant
Over the years I have developed this my unique sessions which can be for an hour or half a day and can also be used for team building and employee engagement. I had the pleasure of demonstrating some of my techniques when I appeared on Britain’s Got Talent and even got yeses from the 3 judges and also got listed in the Independent on Sunday happy list 100 of people who go out of their way to share joy with others
Visualisation
Escape to Happiness Island Sessions:
Feel good
Arts and Craft
Assessing your current happiness level
Be more productive
Take with them a simple booklet with practical tips to cope with everyday life Happiness and Wellbeing Toolbox
Benefits of the session -
Have better understanding of the need to have time for fun
One to one happiness and wellbeing coaching Energiser at your event 15 minutes to get your audience smiling and feel good as demonstrated during my appearance on Britain’s Got Talent
I have been working in the accounting profession for 25 years in various roles. Over the years I have overcome a period of work burn out, depression and low self esteem to developing my own unique happiness and wellbeing sessions aimed at businesses to help employees manage their stress levels so that they can be more productive.
Website: www.gennyjonestraining.com Email: info@gennyjonestraining.com
Laughter Yoga
My services
Have a positive outlook to life
Singing and Dancing
I work to help people not to take themselves too seriously by having time for fun and laughter. I specialise in using laughter and humour to help people cope with everyday issues. My services and sessions are very practical and I share the techniques which have helped me , as well as those learned from others through my continued training.
The sessions are fun packed, interactive and can include:
Practical Happiness Tool Box with items to help maintain happiness
Backthere!in
Then the pandemic hit. At this point in 2020 I was still a full time teacher and part time Will Writer. I decided to develop my knowledge further and signed up to do the ‘Estate Planning’ qualification. This is the hardest thing I have ever done, but, 3 tough exams later and 2 months down the road and I passed it! At around the same time I was called in for a meeting with my headteacher. They told me they wanted me to become Head of Sixth Form but wouldn’t get any more money or time to do this! This was a chance to get out!
became qualified in ‘Protection’ too so trained all through the summer to be able to advise clients on life insurance, critical illness cover, family income benefit, income protection and building and contents insurance. I absolutely love this too. I take great pride in making sure my clients understand their options and more importantly understand the products.
This was just the push I needed and I made a life changing decision that I would ask for a financial settlement, leave teaching and go full time with The
2018 a colleague sent an email to all staff saying he was leaving teaching and was now a qualified Will Writer. My mum had been going on at me to get my Will in place, worried that my ex husband would potentially benefit from my estate! So, I replied to the email asking if I could get an appointment booked in. That’s when I realised this sounded like a great opportunity and something I could work around my kids (then 8 and 11) and my school work!
The Will Guys agreed to take me on and train me up! I realised very quickly that this was my dream job, I loved it! It was such a good feeling knowing I was helping people make sure they were protecting their loved ones.
I guess this is the teacher coming out in me. There is such a gap in people’s knowledge of all this, as people just think they are trying to be sold something. But actually, if you think about it, these products are here to protect you and your family if you aren’t able to work or sadly pass away.
It’s amazing how quickly things can change isn’t it! For 23 years I had been a PE teacher at an inner city high school in Newcastle Upon Tyne. I had worked at the same school all that time. I got married, had two fantastic kids and got divorced, all whilst working
One thing the pandemic has taught us is that we don’t know what is round the corner and that anything can happen in a blink of an eye.
Will Guys! I am a great believer in things happening for a reason and I was delighted when they offered me redundancy instead. Best decision I have ever Imade!quickly
I feel very blessed and grateful for the job I am doing now. It’s the best feeling ever knowing that I am making a difference and helping others.
Australia
Website: www.ely memorial
Mobile: 07877591583 Facebook: /elymemorialfund Twitter: @ elymemorialfund
The Charity was set up in memory of Emma Louise Young (E.L.Y.). Emma tragically lost her life in a road traffic collision. She was just 23 and our only daughter.
We provide a condolence gift to contribute towards the funeral costs so a family can mourn and arrange their child’s funeral without the added stress and financial burden. We also provide help and support through other groups, such as looking into life insurance, will writing and emotional support for victims of road traffic collisions.
Our other objective is to support young people across the county to become safer drivers, educating them in road safety to help reduce road collisions involving young drivers. fund.org.uk hugs4u@ely memorial fund.org.uk
About ELY
Email:
We set up the fund in March 2011 with the objective to relieve financial hardship for families within the County if their son or daughter, between the age of 17 to 25, is tragically killed in a road traffic collision.
We now have a great relationship with the press, I am often contacted by radio and mainstream national press, I am often contacted directly and I post in our closed members group asking members to submit their stories. The SMBN is the go to for single parent stories and PR, and that is because Fiona worked hard to help me get on their radar in the beginning. In the last 12 months not only have we been in national press, we have also featured on BBC Radio in several counties, on ITV news, BBC news, Channel 5, and more.. and that is snowballing.
You have to choose business expenditure over wine expenditure, and you have to respect those who work so hard to help you on your journey.
Friend of the SMBN & Media Foundations
You can visit Fiona’s main website here: https://scottmedia.uk/ and trust me when I say she knows her profession
I connected with Fiona in the early days of KIH Products, but I just couldn’t afford her professional skills, and so that is why I try and help my ladies in this way. We all need PR for sales. As soon as I turned a corner with KIH Bed sales and decided to help other single mums I didn’t even have to think about where to go I went straight to Fiona, who I had observed for years. She worked with me in the first year, she was always very clear about how she would get our name out there, what my realistic expectations should be, time scales, and she taught me a lot about what I needed to do. I valued her expertise and respected her fees, and she was right.
Fiona Scott, of SCOTT MEDIA
I was delighted when Fiona decided later to join as a friend of the SMBN. For somebody who I have admired for so long to then demonstrate that they have enough faith in what I am doing to join as a friend well, actions speak louder than words don’t they! you can join as a friend by the way regardless of sex or status, essentially friends are not in the closed member group (single mum chat) but they do enjoy year round exposure in the mags, which is the cheapest in print exposure going like this one.
You are very lucky now! Things have moved on from when I started out! You have mediums like me helping you with exposure and you have so many affordable offerings such as Fiona’s.
So with gratitude, love, and hopefully some sound advice! Jules x
I have been networking for several years and it is my networking journey that inspired and continues to inspire the SMBN, from not being able to attend 7am meetings, from joining networks who focussed on me promoting them and not vice versa, to not affording professional PR guru’s like Fiona.
It was never really me benefitting from benefits, it was the capitalist landlord and the presentism minimum wage employer, I was just the medium who had to claim for their gain. You are welcome.
And so, as I am acutely aware of the pains of single mothers like me (single fathers are more likely to be met with sympathy than stigma and accusations of lifestyle choice), I will continue to work until we can stop single mums feeling as though they are worthless peasants. At least now I know that in evidence, my daughter will always know, that I have always done everything I can, to put food on table.
Equally as each Christmas I struggled, I was advised to start putting money away, ‘even just £5 per week’. It is SO hard to explain negative income to those who have never experienced it. You just can’t put a single penny aside let alone £1, when every week you are juggling the basic living costs to scrimp £20 or £30 to shop for cheap unhealthy food, fuelling depression and obesity, and further judgement from those who look on and truly believe, that it you who are to blame.
I knew what I was fighting for, a proud tax payer for 20 years I just wanted to continue paying in, not drawing out, and, eventually I did. Through a combination of flexible skilled work, business and a secure home. Society were pushing me to need benefits for another decade. But alas, I pay tax, I am happy, my daughter is happy, and I do not accept judgmental people as friends.
I’m Jules, and I founded the Single Mums Business Network in 2019. I had faced ridiculous barriers to market and grow my product, the KIH Bed. I was frustrated with the barriers to secure employment, in line with my skillet and salary scale, that would sync with available childcare, and I was painfully aware of how negatively I was now perceived by a society who had previously treated me as an equal, when I was married, a homeowner, with a functional credit score and normally engaging with others in a professional manner. I was now rejected by landlords; friends and family were too fearful to be a guarantor to help me find a steady home and I had to move at least once a year with my child. It was hell, and there was not a single penny disposable income to help myself. Despite my best efforts in employment, self employment, and business. I turned a corner when I ran a £5 FB campaign for part time legal work; benefitted from responsible finance to market my KIH bed to the correct audience, and swallowed my pride in that I would have to find a non capitalist social landlord, who would give us some security for reasonable rent. But that all took years, and near loss of life, whilst sustaining further trauma by loan sharks, bailiffs and banks.
I was mildly trying to raise awareness of how some affordable PR would have helped me years earlier, but then when my own best friend of over 30 years accused me of not wanting to put food on the table, I realised how misunderstood I, and thousands like me, actually were. If the person closest to you, in knowledge of your strong work ethic and life long generosity questions you, you have your work cut out explaining it to a stranger who has never been a single parent. The irony, was that using my skills from my law degree, I created a comprehensive health and safety pack for her business, as a gift, and then, as she accused me of being work shy with one hand, she gave my work to the local council with the other, and told me that they were so impressed they would use it for all of their dog boarding clients. I was incensed, the money I could have charged would have indeed, put food on the table. There is a serious problem with society sentencing us to low paid work, and then judging us when we cannot afford childcare and fuel in advance, and living in destitution until for your first pay day I learned the heard way that when I called the tax credit office chuffed to bits that I had a job one year; my payments were ceased immediately so that they could recalculate once I was paid. I broke down before the 2nd week of my wonderful new job, and was fired as a potential liability when they learned of my destitution. The irony, I would not have been destitute if I were a thief.
Access to immediate wellbeing advice and professional advice via Inclusion in the Employee Assistance Programme by PAM Assist, because we care about our members
You will be investing in your commitment to succeed in financial health and autonomy
Branded SMBN t shirt following 6 months successful membership
Benefit from the SMBN’s good external relationships with stakeholders
You can join the SMBN as a member if you are a Single Mum in employment, business or an unemployed single mum wanting to be surrounded by positive information and advice around business or work, and you can join as a friend, if you are married or male! but, we have strict rules against MLM recruiting, so if you join and are targeted for MLM, or gambling investments, that person will be removed. It is a safe space to support you on your ‘own’ business or work journey.
Membership Single Mums Business Network [smbn]
Vibrant social events that bring members, friends, and sponsors together such as summer party and winter ball / awards (all family friendly!)
As a private member of the Single Mums Business Network, here are just some of the great benefits you will receive:
Invitation to complete a 12 week business planning, accountability and growth – personal and professional development course with smbn certification that you are ready to thrive in life and business
Support with personal and professional development with monthly national zoom meetings and 1 1’s with founder and partners
Inclusion in the quarterly Single Mums Business Magazine and on website
Exclusive discounts for participating members and friends products and services
You will be actively demonstrating that you are supporting our positive social impact mission whilst supporting other single mums in business as it is not only you who benefits from your membership
All you need to do is make a nominal commitment of £10pcm, or £2.50 per week
MEMBERSHIP
Five years ago, I sat cross legged on my living room floor with an old laptop, and a baby and a toddler running round me, and took the big decision to start a business. I knew nothing about running a business at the time, but I did know that I needed flexibility to be with my children as a single mum and I knew quite a bit about HR, so I thought I would give it my best shot.
Turns out, I was a bit alright at running a business and five years later, I have a team of six consultants, a long list of fantastic clients and a big fancy office for us all to sit in. There was no magic formula, it was; sheer determination + tonnes of hard work + courage + blind faith + stubbornness + sleepless nights + humility + asking lots of questions + lots of listening + kindness of strangers to give me their time and advice…..and probably a lot more I have forgotten.
I originally joined the SMBN because I needed to find my tribe who would understand how equally hard and rewarding it is to be a business owner AND a single mum, and I was massively drawn to the energy of Julie, as our Chief. But now, I have accepted Julie’s request to be a partner so that I can do more to help the group as a whole, and individual members to start, develop or grow their business.
I want to share what I have learned with you, and I want to support all of us to learn from each other, for the benefit of the group, ourselves and our precious babies; big and small.
I am first and foremost mum to Robyn and Barnaby and secondly the founder of Willow HR Consultancy. Those who have met me may have picked up that I am quite loud (I can’t even yawn quietly), energetic, enthusiastic, smiley, eternally optimistic and I get too excited discussing and debating business ideas (better than trains or stamps I guess)!
LAURA CALLAHAN HR Consultant
Meet the team behind the Single Mums Business Network
I became self employed so that I could develop an individual centred bespoke support package for people struggling with low self worth and motivation: I had seen how the care sector had let down so many families and children by constantly using the same "one size fits all" solution, instead of working with the person's styles and interests to create a more realistic programme and therefore gain better outcomes. I quickly learnt that as great as
my experience and expertise in these areas were, I had no clue on marketing, advertising or what a Business Plan was! It was then whilst networking that I discovered how the words "mum" and "divorced" were toxic in business, being tarnished with the stigma of being lazy, unreliable or wanting a handout. After being in £40k jobs and the top, this was a new low. So when I met Julie and the SMBN, it was a breath of fresh air to be with people who got me.
I am hoping that my role will allow all of the members to feel safe and supported no matter what is going on. Whether it is an emotional or physical battle, we are here to fight it together and not feel alone anymore. My virtual door is always open, waiting with either a hug, a joke, or just a listening ear.
Supporting others has always come naturally to me whether in my professional or personal life, and so I jumped at the chance to be more invested in the SMBN: I am hopeful that the three of us can make a difference not just for all the single parents, but also for the children being raised facing that same stigma and struggle, which so many are still oblivious to.
I am Nehaya; Mum, Fitness Instructor, Wellness Coach and now SMBN Partner, with a focus on Members' Wellbeing and Engagement.
https://www.fab va.co.uk/about
https://nirvanainvestors.com/https://esthernagle.com/https://chapter46.com/gallery
https://www.facebook.com/BossMum2BossMum/https://linktr.ee/susiemackie https://singleparentssupportandadviceservices.co.uk/ Home | Profit, Purpose, Passion (cegcoaching.com)
https://www.facebook.com/auroratreatments creditofwelcomesinglemumsbusinessnetwork.com/2022/08/14/https://newmemberrachaelnamiirofounderbilldupusebillpaymentstoimproveyourscoretothesmbn/ClothingAndFashion
Boutiques The Craftology Project | Sustainable Education
| Teri
Shows Chance
As well as spending the past 10 years slowly building* the off grid eco retreat venue that I call home, *literally building with my own hands and those of my many helpers), I’ve worked for 20 years in a few roles within health and wellness, (including a few years where that took a back seat, and though I still did massage, I fitted it in at, or worked it around, the events and festivals which became my “day job”.
As parents or carers, we often tend to put our own needs last. With the best intentions, life often gets in the way, we are well trained in putting others needs first.
Although I have in the past, worked with many men and still do occasionally, I now find myself mostly focused on mid life mothers. Particularly lone single mothers or those in abusive relationships, as the challenges we face can are different to those with more support, and I fully empathise and understand these particular challenges.
But for even longer I’ve been a mum to two (now grown up) girls. I had my kids young so never really knew adult life without them.
Intro to me
And my work
In my wellbeing journey so far I have worked as a massage and body work therapist, a yoga and Pilates teacher, a healthy plant based chef, and a more recently; incorporating elements of all of that, as a health & wellbeing coach.
Although they are now adults that hasn’t meant the problems and challenges have stopped. In fact for a few difficult years they seemed to get bigger than ever before and I longed to return to those hazy childhood days. I have always considered parenthood as the most important, and by far the hardest, job I have done.
I couldn’t work. I could barely get out of bed for 3 months
Irealised.ignored
I help exhausted, overwhelmed parents find the time for selfcare, to fit in fitness, sleep better & eat better, because I learnt the hard way, what happens if you don’t.
As well as in person Wellness retreats and glamping breaks here on my magical mountain in Spain** I also offer a range of services online.
We need to learn to put our own wellbeing at the top of our To-Do lists.
I didn’t take proper care of me. Like most folk, I didn’t realise how important it was.
My burn out was severe, and took years to recover Isfrom.ittime
Because what happens if you don’t?
Weekly group classes ( Slow Calming Yoga, and Positive Pilates, (pets welcome!) as well as 1to1 sessions, (these are stand alone classes or part of an affordable Wellness membership) I am developing some specialist courses and self care sessions such as Menopause support, Guided Massage and Fascial Release .
my body’s cries for rest. If I was tired, I fuelled myself on coffee. I continued to push myself. I had something to prove to the world.
to value yourself enough to make your health &wellbeing a priority?
I thought I was indestructible. The truth was very different. A combination of years of working crazy hours with little sleep at festivals; combined with first with being a young lone mum, then in an abusive relationship, had left me chronically stressed, & far more physically damaged than I
12 years ago, I didn’t know the physical dangers of chronic stress. I had survived all the s*i* life had thrown at me, as well as all the self-inflicted, burning of that proverbial 2 ended candle.
I do not want to go back there, and I want to prevent you from ever have to go through the anguish of not having the energy to get out of bed to take care of your kids, to go to work, or even just have a nice time out with friends.
I spent my sofa months learning how to heal & how to prevent this happening again.
I love motivating and enabling people to become healthier & happier
Jan 2010. I qualified as a Personal Trainer. The next day I collapsed with severe “burn out” for me that meant, multiple debilitating allergies, (Including being allergic to my own sweat which made all the skin on my face fall off) and chronic fatigue.
Home Sierra Nature (wellnessandwilderness.com)
Ihelptowardsfeelingrelaxed.believeit
Now recently becoming a SMBN member, I’m very inspired by other members stories and achievements and am so grateful to have been told about this group and be motivated by their support and efforts, wish I’d have found SMBN earlier! I’ll be sure to spread the word! One day I’d love to open a school 07988805482Laura,teachingfacialsandmassage.AuroraBeauty
As my salon is called Aurora Beauty, inside and out, I offer skin specific supplements too, Jane Iredale cruelty free mineral make up, to treat your skin wholistically, along with a thorough consultation to look at lifestyle and how we can work together to achieve the bestresultsforyourskin.
I offer bespoke facials to treat each individuals skin concern, using state of the art technology like CACI non surgical machine and Environ’s DF machine. The facials are from 30 minutes to 2 hours long. Most include a complimentary treatment of your choice, a scalp massage, a foot scrub and massage or a mini manicure allowingsometimefor
the skin care industry and have been a massage/beauty therapist for over 20 years. I specialise in treating the skin from the inside out, skin health and well beingaremypassion.
’s important to take time out for ourselves from our busy schedules, when you feel your best, you look your besttoo!
FounderofExecProVA
‘Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you I’m one of the most compassionate, caring people you will ever meet. Me and the team are passionate about helping our clients thrive in whatever business they do. I’ve always prided myself on being super efficient with a ‘can do’ attitude and nothing is too much trouble. My clients know, all they need do is ask. I’ve managed offices for large corporations and had a successful EA career as well as mentoring teams of PA’s. I now run my own successful business and have an awesome team who work with me. We are all motivated because we value each others skills. It’s not all about work though, we have a lot of giggles along the way which makes us fun to work with. We understand the importance of giving fantastic customer service and our vast experience lets us know which systems and processes really work for you. Equally important, we are reliable, honest, flexible and fit in with our clients’ needs and everything we do is treated with the highest integrity and confidentiality.’
Exec Pro VA Virtual Assistants (exec pro va.com)
WhychooseCarol?
FriendoftheSMBNCarolMcIntyre
It is always lovely to welcome a new member or new friend to the SMBN, but it’ s something extra special when a member has a break then re joins, or renews their membership. It’s a real pleasure to extend a warm second welcome to Carol McIntyre, after her confirmation of renewal of being part of what we are so proud to be. A force for good.
SMBNMember–MichelleForster
Michelle Forster | LinkedIn
Founderof TricordSolutionsHR
Welcome Michelle to the SMBN! Where Solo no longer means SOLO
I am delighted to welcome Michelle Forster, Founder of Tricord Solutions HR, to the Single Mums Business Network. Here is what Michelle says: I am a single mum with three teenage children and I decided about 18 months ago, after losing my job at the beginning of the pandemic, to take the plunge and start my own HR Consultancy Business with the likes of Laura Callahan cheering me on.
Michelle is certainly in the right place! We celebrate ourselves as hard working women at the SMBN who have a real ‘can do’ attitude and we cheer each other on in the most positive way to succeed despite owning a status that still carries a lot of stigma and sadly often shame. We all get it, but we don’t need to focus on it, we’re in a safe shared space where we just don’t need to explain why we can’t go to that 7am breakfast business networking meeting or that charity event tomorrow night. We are primary carers, using our skills and abilities to make work work and we have each others backs. Come on in!
The first 6 months were non existent and then suddenly business took off and I haven’t looked back since, but I need the support of single fellow business mums who can stand alongside with to keep me going and for us to rally alongside each other and cheer each other on when the going get tough. So if you have a HR itch that I can scratch, contact Tricord Solutions for help!
grateful to have found the Single Mums Business Network. They have been an immense support through my transition to full-time business owner. Julie Hawkins the founder is so passionate, encouraging and supportive, I honestly would not be doing what I am doing today if it wasn’t for her and the lovely ladies in SMBN.
Shannon Andrews The Hand Lettering Studio
SMBN Members Only Weekly Open House Meet up. I really treasure these sessions, and today I had an amazing light bulb moment. At a time when I am trying to develop my business, thanks you for helping me see clarity. I am now working on your wonderful suggestions and tips.” I recommend the SMBN because I have benefitted a great deal since I became a member and know many others who have also benefitted. Genny Jones https://www.gennyjonestraining.com/
FEEDBACK
Julie works tirelessly to support and connect single mums in business. Her enthusiasm is infectious, and if there’s a way to get something done, she’ll find it.
I am really grateful for this award I have wine and absolutely so blessed to be a part of Single Mums business network and also honoured to be a county coordinator for Surrey. Thank you to the founder Julie Hawkins for your heart and passion and all you give back to us Single Mums in Business. Lidia Peto Holistic Fitness and Coaching
As a single parent, I have found this group very inspiring and useful. We all encourage and support each other . “Julie Hawkins just want to say thank you very much for this mornings
Absolutely love being part of this Network and their meet ups. Such an inspiring, positive and wonderful bunch of women. Julie is amazing for setting this up and is always petitioning for the best for all women, mums and parents xxx Nehaya Zitawi https://www.hiyashealing.com/
Absolutely can not thank this network enough, its more than networking and more than business!! Today I find myself totally overwhelmed by the support from Julie in helping my
Julie works tirelessly to support and connect Single Mums Business Network. Her enthusiasm is infectious, and if there’s a way to get something done, she’ll find it. Kirsty Tyler https://www.wyefieldwm.co.uk/kirsty.html
IKirstiefamily.amso
Business, Self
and
Single Mums Business Network [smbn] For Women in Employed, Professional Single Mums
I wanted to do better, I wanted to focus on the outcome, rather than the ego or income. I am very proud to help to promote other single parent organisations, as there are 3 million UK single parents in the UK who need to know who and what is out there for them. By restricting our information to our services only we risk not having the capacity to help everybody. This is where single parents feel alone, and helpless, this is what leads to single parent suicide. We have a duty to each other and the community we serve to share all that we know, and help as many as we
‘sic utere tuo ut alienum non laedas’
In the next few pages you will hear from other single parent organisations who are either members, friends, or who participated in the #singleparentday event last year. As I, and many more, have been refused exposure for years by organisations that are publicly, and privately funded to help us.
Thecan.Government and DWP want to see Single Parents working, and we know how to make that happen, we know exactly what support is required, in order to enable every UK parent to thrive with financial autonomy whether in work via employment or business. By helping us share this information you are helping the economy, and saving lives. Thank you.
Literally translated you could argue that this relates to property matters, but, for me it means that we should not cause others harm in order to gain what we want, we must live and work with clean hands, be ethical and help each other, and we must not extinguish another persons light to make ours shine brighter.
Noreen Khan is the Director of NEESIE, a community voluntary group transforming lives of single mums and their children daily. She has a strong passion for developing communities and building resilience in all spheres of community life. She is a well travelled professional and has worked in all areas of cross cultural and transformational development for multi national corporations, businesses, and communities throughout the world. She is a professional compere and public speaker and formally a presenter on Television and HerRadio.organisation,
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facilitating prosperity for single mums
REASSURRANCE | DEVELOPMENT | PROGRESS
Noreen Info.neesie@gmail.comKhan Neesie Facilitating prosperity for Single Mum’s and Women with children
NEESIE, provides a platform for Single Mothers and their children to grow independently and better their lives. Neesie facilitates prosperity through dedicated support mechanisms in collaboration and partnership with local communities, schools and public and private sector organisations and anchor organisations. Support is provided to a broad spectrum of society and from diverse backgrounds. Noreen has been a catalyst for change, advocating for the Human Rights and freedom of choice for Single Mothers and lone parents on a national and political agenda. A defiant leader and advocate for better Welfare reform changes to Tax credits and Universal credit, she has staunchly worked to bridge the poverty gap and creating an imbroglio situation for Single parents who will find themselves in a constant state of forlorn emotional calamity.
a platform for single mothers and their children to enable them to grow independently and better their lives”
NEESIEs’ ultimate aim is to build capacity among single mothers to ensure their full and active participation in society. This is done through Reassurance of understandings and empathy of situations; Development through tailored interventions; and Progress within society, moving towards engagement and social integration and develop a strong foundation that encourages resilient communities. Noreen is committed to developing the plight of single mums and reaches across many boundaries, hence has developed an international presence across four continents through collaboration and partnership working.
Nothing highlighted this more than when the pandemic first hit Britain with full force back in March 2020. While everyone was affected by the school closures and social isolation that the first lockdown ushered in. It was quickly evident that single parents had been entirely forgotten about. From how would we do the weekly shop, to how on earth can you home school and work effectively, with no childcare or outside support? Spoiler: You can't.
Ruth Talbot Founder Single Parent Rights Campaign
For me, this was just the beginning. The real issue is that single parents are not included in the Equality Act, and this is why we are so often ignored by policy makers. So, I set up Single Parent Rights to try and address this.
It's been over seven years since I became a single mum. Like many, the road has been a rocky one with plenty of ups and downs but one thing I’ve noticed from my own experiences, and that of single parents around me, is that we are often invisible and, worse still, actively discriminated against across almost all areas of life. From the attitudes of landlords and employers, to the fees charged at many attractions across the UK.
Single Parent Rights is a single parent led campaign group fighting for single parents to be added to the Equality Act alongside those who are married and in civil partnerships. If you want to learn more or get involved in the campaign you can visit our website at, Single Parent Rights or follow us on Twitter and Instagram.
Having spent many years writing about single parenting and trying to raise understanding of the reality of single parenting the good, the bad and the ugly I knew I had to go one step further and push for real policy change.
Ruth Talbot Founder Single Parent Rights Campaign
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During that first lockdown, I hand delivered a letter to Dominic Cummings house, the then adviser to the Prime Minister, outlining what it was really like for single parents in lockdown. Fast forward a couple of weeks and my lobbying, together with the work of other groups, to secure support bubbles for single parent households.
@SglParentRights Follow us on Instagram: @SingleParentRights
We are proud to say that we are ALL volunteers in SPSAS, even me! All our services are FREE and we run on grants and donations.
SPSAS Single Parents Support and Advice Services, Lone Parent
SPSAS is a charity for single parents all over the UK. We aim to combat isolation and loneliness through uniting as a community. We have two main Facebook groups and sub groups to help members with mental health support, domestic abuse support, parents with children with additional needs and more! We also have Facebook pages, one for the organisation, one for free legal
I am Nicola Booth, a 34 year old single mum raising a 10 year old girl.
I created Single Parents Support and Advice Services (running under a different name at that time) in October 2012 when I became a single mother, sat at home on an evening thinking there must be other single parents in this situation, so a local Facebook page was made and gone from strength to strength over this time to a now fully registered charity!
support, one for emotional support and one for our first charity shop in Barnsley. Our aim is to support single parents to gain access to services which normally have long waiting lists or costs involved so they are unable to access them, for example counselling. This now includes emergency food parcels and energy top ups. We also Run surplus food projects all over the UK to help beat food waste and feed our families in need.
Ten2Two has been working to change attitudes and approaches to part-time, flexible and remote working for more than 14 years. They work with businesses around the UK to help them understand the benefits of employing a flexible workforce, offering support and services to make flexible working a Ten2tworeality.
Since their launch in 2007, they have seen the employment landscape shift in favour of more flexible working arrangements and a greater acceptance from employers that even senior, professional jobs can be done successfully on a part-time basis. MD, Deborah O’Sullivan says “when we first launched, we would have to explain to our clients the various types of working formats available and that part time roles weren’t just for junior positions. Now, especially following the pandemic, our clients come to us asking for all levels of candidates in all sorts of formats from three days per week, five short days remote working or other flexible working formats.”
works as a recruiter to source high calibre professionals for flexible roles across all levels and all sectors in business. They design and implement returner programmes and consult with businesses to help shape future focussed staffing models.
Find out more at www.ten2two.org
Ten2Two aims to help mothers (and fathers!) achieve a work life balance by finding rewarding work with local employers working hours that suit life’s other demands such as the school run or nursery schedule. Their slogan says it all Drop kids off. Have a career. Pick kids up. They are looking forward to expanding their business reach further across the UK in the coming years.
I have always been a huge fan of Ten2Two, but again it took me YEARS to learn of their existence. Women (and men) regularly fall into traps because there isn’t enough knowledge and support signposting them to specialist agencies who help them find SALARIED work for PROFESSIONAL pay. We really must do better, and at the point where we enter into a situation where 9-5 is unmanageable we need to know what is out there to avoid a decade of destitution. Why does this never get airtime? This is news that people need to hear!
Meet Liz! Another amazing woman who has decided enough is enough and is doing something about it! Here’s what Liz says;
Do you want to:
• Meet your mum friends on Friday afternoons whilst your kids play, and you drink Prosecco (busted –maybe that’s just me and my friends!)
• Watch your toddler’s delight as they pop bubbles at their favourite toddler group
Each time I mentioned part time with a Recruiter, they quickly told me the role was full time only, or worse, they ghosted me! I mean how rude!
• Take long weekends without eating into your annual leave
I quickly discovered it wasn’t easy to find ‘good quality’ part time roles. To maintain my family friendly hours, I would have to take a big step down in my career (and a significant cut in salary, thus making childcare unaffordable).
I did too, but call me greedy, unrealistic or misinformed I didn’t feel this should mean I shouldn’t be able to climb the career ladder in a fulfilling job that allowed me to develop my skills and experience. But this is something I have witnessed happen time and time again to so many friends and colleagues. Those that want to work fewer hours after having children often find themselves side lined, underpaid and undervalued.
And I had a feeling it was about to happen to me…
I decided enough was enough...
Now straight up. here’s what they don’t tell you about looking for a part time job…
• Be available for school pick up and drop off
Oh sh*t…
Last September, at the height of the Covid pandemic, I was made redundant from a job I loved (yep I was an economic victim of the Covid pandemic). I had worked part time in the Recruitment team at one of the Big 4, recruiting HR Consultants into their Consulting practice.
But my daughters were only little (2 and 3 years old). And I didn’t want to miss all the precious milestones working in a full time role.
Full disclosure I love Recruitment I love helping people find their dream job as I know how transformative the right opportunity can be. But the Recruitment market I, and so many of my friends, experienced was broken. It was only working for those who could work full time. Until Investing in Women, in my 12+ years of Recruitment, I had never (not even once) recruited someone for a part time role.
In June, I launched the Investing in Women job board. We only advertise part time or flexible roles and champion the positive effects part time working has on society and the economy. Did you know, for example, that more flexible working could unlock £55bn and create 51,000 jobs?
Ones that want to recruit and progress talent just like you, on hours that work for you and your family.Through
my job board, Investing in Women, I am determined to help you find the right job. One that
I didn’t want my daughters to grow up in a world where the glass ceiling is still so stubbornly thick. Where if you have other commitments, societal attitudes make it hard for you to achieve your full potential. Never mind the countless studies that have shown that part time and flexible workers are more productive!
And while you are there please consider this your invitation to join my empowering Facebook Group Working Mums UK. This is YOUR group where you can expect to find all the tools, strategies, training and inspiration you need to flourish at all stages of your career.
And almost six months in I can promise you there are some amazingly thoughtful and considerate employers out there. Phew!
Pull up a chair, get cosy, and meet some new mum friends. Our community is full of like minded female professionals willing to offer support, advice or a friendly ear.
Lots of love,
New beginnings
And, I knew there must be some good employers out there ones who value their staff and the output they bring, whatever hours they work.
Liz xxx
I can’t wait to get to know you better.
It is hard for those of us who prefer to work part time or flexibly to find our dream roles as there are so few about. We end up having to apologise or justify why we want part time. “I want part time BECAUSE…”
I just hadn’t found them yet...
works for you and your family, challenges you (in the best way possible), develops your skills and experience and allows you to continue progressing up the career ladder.
Because you are too talented for your skills to go to waste!
Are you ready? Search the Investing in Women job board to find your next flexible or part time job.
And I want to change that.
Why?
Masculinity, Equality, Mental Health and Purpose for the 21st Century Man | Julie Hawkins
unique challenges.
The focus is what women have in common, and meeting with like minded people whilst maintaining a safe space to talk about female things, sometimes. The networks I attend are very professional but if we need to talk about menstruation, ovulation, menopause, pregnancy, or indeed disadvantages such as reduced pensions or challenges as normally predominantly primary carers it is a relaxed environment to do that..
It has always been important to me to make it clear that the SMBN is not about misandry, it’s simply old school boy school girl school mentality we need to focus! I signpost to male only networks and organisations, as you will see on the next few pages, and I share with you here a blog post from February, which will hopefully shed some light on my personal view which I hope will help some men.
There is a lot of room for equality and we can close some of those differences, but we will always have (I hope) femininity and masculinity. I fear that with feeling misplaced many men will suffer with mental health problems due to feeling lost or unfulfilled if they feel they have lost their place in the world as providers and protectors.. but I want to make clear how I think we need men to step up as men in
….
Firstly, I am all for equality, but I also love feminine and masculine energy, and how we differ physically and mentally in many ways. Equality is just (for me) about not being at a disadvantage, especially financially, because of your sex, or being more vulnerable because of it, just as with race, nationality, age, religion or disability.
Men have had healthy support networks for many years, via work, social, sport, and networks that used to be male only such as the Masons. I see a lot of displeasure from men at the mention of female only business networking, and I suspect this is a little down to ego. I never witnessed such displeasure around the WI (Women’s Institute) whereby the (old) public perception was baking and fundraising, or around book clubs or knit and natter clubs, but when business networking started rolling out female only network it was offensive to many men, who feel business is their world.
This blog has been eating away at me for some time, as they always do. I am signposted before I blog and fed material that only pushes me to offer my perspective. A year or two ago I had a conversation with a friend, who said that they just didn’t know what was expected of them anymore, as a man, where all they hear about is equality which is often translated as misandry. I have the benefit of a strong female network, some identify strongly as feminists, others find the term offensive, and I have previously blogged about women supporting women, asking what about the men. It is now time to elaborate on that blog, and hopefully, whilst undoubtably upsetting some, offering others some much needed insight into what many women, hope, men will show up as in the 21st Century.
I am also passionate about women supporting women, but not because of misandry, because I believe it is our inherent tribal nature, to be more of a community and to have healthy relationships and support with those who are similar to us and understand our
If you are not already familiar with Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, please embark on your own further study. A lot of work that I do is to try and ensure that people’s basic needs are met, as I know that we have limited ability to help others when we lack security and safety. Normally once our basic needs are met we can progress to form healthy relationships with others and hopefully at this stage, feel inspired to help others and increase our sense of purpose. Many people lack motivation to do this once their basic and psychological needs are met they leave others in the purple and green zones therefore never reaching the orange zone! How is this relevant to masculinity, mental health and purpose for men who only hear about equality and women supporting women? let me explain..
Due to lack of equality, many women have been and still are vulnerable to not having their basic needs met. That is why many women support women. These basic needs could easily be met, and at the moment it is mainly men who have the power to do this, at the top, by addressing the hardships that mainly come as a result of child bearing.
Let’s look at Michael Ray, Paul O’Grady, Marcus Rashford, Professor Green and I have a couple of incredible men in my network who I know will read this who are working incredibly hard at the moment to create something for the greater good, you should know who you are..
Whether by being a stay-at-home wife and losing pension or by barriers to work in line with their skillset and salary due to challenges with childcare. We have amazing feminine bodies and we really do need to procreate, at least most of us do. This bit men can’t do, and I’m not sure they would if they experienced childbirth equivalent to 47 bone fractures and their skeletal structure being torn apart leaving 20 or 30 years of muscle definition ruined in a flash! So, we need to work on accepting that women need to survive despite facilitating life. C19 has given many male CEO’s unique insight into how you can love your family but still crave the workplace, we all enjoy that, and need that; we need people.
Many men are noble and kind, and they support themselves and their families
the 21st century, and I will attempt to do that with simple clarity and examples.. I have a few men in my network, and I refer to a few famous faces who seem to have a very healthy balance and view of masculinity, purpose, equality, femininity and so their minds appear to be strong, and they are role models for men who are lost.
So what about the men?!
I friend once said to me ‘I don’t know what a woman wants me to be – If I open a car door or offer to pay for a meal I am afraid I offend, and if I don’t I go against the chivalry I understood to be right’ – my only advice was not to be who he thought he should be, but to be his true self and transparent about that so that the right woman would go to him. Personally I love chivalry and door opening, but if we sit at a desk working together all day I want the same pay cheque, and if we bring up a family as a team, I want the same pension, and same estate, and if I am to bring up a family alone, as 1 in 4 families do now, I
want barriers to home, work and opportunities removed, so that we are not the ones who suffer when society permits a parent to abandon a child, financially.
Then we have Paul O’Grady who – despite being a well paid celebrity, has a genuine passion for helping others– in his case, dogs (and cats) at Battersea, – here is a man who some would question his masculinity, but he is using his strength to help those who are vulnerable, what can be more masculine than that? and then we have Marcus Rashford – if you don’t know what he has been up to you must be living in a cage – a very wealthy and successful football player, who used his platform to stand up for families across the UK, . *Continued on next page
Look at war heroes, look at historic regulators, these men knew something was wrong, and they went above and beyond, not to only line their own pockets but to fight for the vulnerable, to fight for families who were overpaying taxes, to fight to protect the nations women, children, and men who could not fight for themselves, these men had purpose, fulfilment. We now have a safer war to fight, there is little risk to body and mind, only risk of upsetting peers. We need men to fight for our safety, we need men to fight against misogyny, rape, trafficking, out of balance inflation, racism, homophobia, ageism, child abuse, domestic abuse, discrimination, homelessness, all things that should not be happening in the 21st Century. I see so many posts and articles across my social media channels and in the press about women fighting against these issues, setting up charities, campaigning, supporting each other, but it is less frequent to see men helping us fight this war. We have a Government, we never argue that we pay tax on everything, from birth to death, but we still bear heavy judgement and shame if we need that tax, and are often left destitute whilst out tax pays for lavish lifestyles and lunches. There is a war, but too few soldiers.
So how do you fight a war when you have not been enlisted? Where do you start? Let’s look at it on a smaller scale – if you can help only six people, the world would be a better place overnight! Your children would be safer, happier, and not destitute on their death bed. I mentioned earlier Michael Ray, Paul O’Grady, Marcus Rashford, Professor Green. These men are all doing something to help others, or to help those more vulnerable. Michael fights for equality, for Dads, for his daughter, he optimises masculinity but he is not afraid to call out other men or women, he is making a difference, he therefore has purpose, self-actualisation and good mental health. He could easily just focus on his partner and his daughter but he does more than that, he is a warrior and unafraid to show his love for his family whilst promoting equality inside and outside of the home.
But you do not have to be rich or famous to make a difference and be a man in the 21st century.
We live in a Country, where you should feel safe to walk the street at night, where you should not be vulnerable because of your age, sex, race, sexuality or religion, we live in a Country where our basic needs should be not be a lifetime of struggle to achieve, and we live in a Country where I hear all too often, that men do not know where they stand. So let me say, you may not know where you stand but stand you must.
Do not be the perpetrator, the bully; be the protector. We can celebrate masculinity and femininity and support equality, where there is fear of safety, there will be fear of equality. We need community we can trust, men we can trust, men we know will be educated not to cause pain, we need Governance from the top to make sure that these crimes will not be tolerated in our society.I am a strong and independent woman, but this is a call to action for modern masculinity, and clarity of purpose to stand up and use that testosterone for good. We can all help somebody. There is no time to be lost. We do need you. Our children need
I make reference to Professor Green aka Stephen Manderson, who talks openly about mental health and supports so many others, he could easily hide behind his music and tattoos but he has purpose, he did not lose motivation when he and his were okay, he identified his place as a man in this world and is helping to heal the wounded from this psychological war.
I guarantee that at least half a dozen people within your reach need your help. I read articles of men who set-up football clubs for disadvantage children and men who set up carpentry sheds for the lonely and elderly, these men have little resource or time, but they reach out and help who is within their reach, those who need them, those who cannot fight their own war.
He put vulnerable people above his own need to be popular, and despite the hammering from some of his capitalist testosterone fuelled football network has used his fame for good, despite the stigma, he has seen wrong and he is fighting a war that should not andexist.lastly
Men who are not motivated because they are not struggling or directly affected, and they wonder what their purpose is because they take offence at the mention of equality. From where I am standing, we need men more than ever to show that they are the
protectors, and not the perpetrators. There is no in-between, you are either okay with it, or you are not.
My biggest heartbreak is seeing how little is done to protect women and children in this Country. How many men stand by and turn a blind eye to rape, abuse, trafficking. hunger, poverty and abuse towards minority groups.
Some tribes banish men who lay with a woman against her will, they say it is not ‘their way’ – it should not be anybody’s way. We have laws in this country but we do not have enforcement. We do not have men banishing each other or setting a strong example of what is right or wrong, we have unregulated violent porn and ungoverned increase of property prices, ungoverned capitalism and ungoverned presenteeism and discrimination.
by a group of people (trustees and staff) who have lived experience of the issues involved and have succeeded in dealing with them; and was established from a growing awareness of a significant number of men who are desperate for information and support after relationship breakdown and enforced separation from their children, but finding little or none out there. Desperation is not too strong a word for the plight of these men; the stress of their situation can, over time, affect their mental health to the point of suicidal thoughts and, in some cases, to suicide itself.
We work hard to focus on making sure the voice of the child is at the heart of the family breakdown process, whilst simultaneously working to reduce male suicide, help male victims of domestic abuse, and reduce parental conflict post separation to improve outcomes for their children.
or without their children.
DUideation.isrun
About Nav who founded Dads Unlimited
We provide wrap around unlimited support on all of these issues by putting in early interventions to reduce parental conflict so as to improve co parenting through our trauma informed services of 1:1 Mentoring, Mental Health counselling, Male Victims IDVA service, Support Group Meetings, Family Court Support / Barrister Representation Service, Co Parenting workshops, and plenty of community activities for dads to enjoy with
is that children from separated families have an equal opportunity through a positive and nurturing co parenting environment.
The impact of family breakdown, on mothers, fathers, children, and on society, is immensely damaging all round. Much has been written about the impact of family breakdown on children, especially in relation to absent fathers. Much has been written about the impact on mothers bringing up children on their own. Much less has been written about the impact on fathers, especially where they have been denied regular and meaningful access to their Ourchildren.vision
Dads Unlimited (DU), a registered charity, supports dads with their mental health because of family breakdown, and to help them reduce parental conflict with former partners in order to improve their co parenting relationships. The issues they are regularly presented with are anxiety, depression, PTSD, domestic abuse, loss of contact with their children, loneliness, isolation, self harm and tragically suicidal
In 2013 I began my journey into a world which, and I didn’t know it at the time, would transform the rest of my life. I was a Single Dad who saw his son one night in the week and most weekends. Things changed for me a lot, not only was I so used to being in a partnership, but as that had ended I had to try and find out
It’s the best job I’ve ever had one that never thanks you but always rewards you. www.dadsunltd.org.uk
Before, my life consisted of conference calls, meetings, meetings about meetings, getting up early, coming home late, analysing budgets, articulating strategy, tactical negotiations, giving speeches, travel, holding to account, leading teams, holding 1:1’s, shaping visions and values, building organisations, developing policies and processes, operational delivery, working on difficult legal issues and cases, building bridges with communities, and anything else corporate life had to throw at
Nowme.
‘Because as Dads we are growing the Women and Men of the future and we’re doing it well, but we could do it better.’
it’s all about school runs, cleaning, homework, ironing, washing, sports days, school plays, food shopping, budgeting, entertaining in the holidays, cooking, exercising, learning maths and English again, reading, negotiating, teaching, chauffeuring, answering endless questions and organising play dates. To be honest the list is pretty endless just when you think you’ve mastered something along comes something else and the whole thing starts again. I’ve never been so tired.
But that’s not always how it was.
necessity. We are not anti women or anti mothers. We are only Pro Dad.
Absolutely crucial to this, and what you also may not know is that according to the Office of National Statistics the number of men who are now Primary Carers for their children has risen by almost 137% in 3 years from 2013. In fact, that number is now 406,000 Single Dads, which represents 14% of the Single Parent population. With this rapid rise and if this pace continues, we will have parity between the sexes in less than 30 years. There is currently a vacuum, with no one trying to appropriately fill it.
When I started down this path I looked everywhere for advice, for help and for support or for just someone saying I was doing alright. But I didn’t find anything or anyone. And especially not another Dad in my exact position. So I literally made things up as I went along, or asked a few Mums who I knew would help me out. But I really wanted to meet someone else who would help and understand. There were good days and bad, but as I was told just try to be ‘good enough’. And because I couldn’t find anything that’s how Dads Unlimited was born. Out of
But now there is. Dads Unlimited.
Booktopia- https://www.booktopia.com.au/who-knew--michael-ray/book/9780648771876.html
Order "Who Knew?" from www.michealray.com.au or;
I first connected with Michael on LinkedIn in 2019, and realised that he faced challenges as a single dad that I could not even imagine as a mother, he talked about not being able to be the parent in the room for his daughter’s ballet performance, and how that made him, and Charlie feel. I completely understood where he was coming from, and so interviewed him to discuss the different challenges faced by mothers and fathers, and where sexism hinders equality for both sexes. You can watch the interview on the SMBN website. Michael is in Australia but his message and education is universal, and I feel very proud to know him with all that he continues to achieve, and the permanent mark he is making for his daughter. He has written a book, information below, and I would encourage you to visit his website and read his blogs, especially if you are feeling pretty hard done by as a father. He is a true voice of reason, a gamechanger, and no doubt his daughter will be forever proud. Michael will come to the UK as a speaker if we can ensure it pays for him and his family to visit us. Contact him if you are interested.
Amazon - https://www.amazon.com.au/Who-Knew-Michael-Ray-ebook/dp/B094FQCC6Z
Michael Ray is an Australian solo dad, a speaker, advocate and a published author with his book "Who Knew?" "Who Knew?" explores global issues around parenting past and present and discusses how we must change our ideologies instead of conforming to the status quo. He talks through his own experiences as a solo dad and how he has had to constantly challenge old valuesand misconceptions that are still accepted in today's societies.
We had SUCH an INCREDIBLE night with our children at the 2021 SMBN Awards at the Hatherley Manor Hotel in Gloucester. To share a room with so many incredible, hardworking women who have all felt pain to the core was a unique experience that none of us will ever forget. Please enjoy the pictures, they speak for themselves!
We Conquer, We Survive, We Thrive
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2022 SMBN AWARDS.
ABOUT THEM ON
When you work really hard in employment, your work is recognised by pay increases or employee of the month stickers! and when you work hard in study, your work is recognised by certificates or qualifications. When you work hard in business, it is easy to feel like you are suffering in silence and nobody has any idea what you are going through to make things happen behind the scenes! Awards are such a great opportunity to submit an essay about what you have done and what you plan to do! and it’s really nice to be awarded recognition for your efforts and authenticity. Don’t be shy to nominate yourself or somebody you think is awesome! What is the worst that can happen really?! we don’t issue a list of who applied! We only disclose if you make it to the finals, so go ahead, tell your story and enjoy your glory!The2022
If you’re a bit of a philanthropist and you fancy some PR in this mag and across our social media channels why not sponsor us! Details on the website, or if reading on line you can click HERE. The SMBN isn’t a charity and we do not benefit from any grants or charitable giving, the psychology is bad enough when you are a single parent! We are working hard to be self sufficient with collective PR and to be liable for full rate tax without any concessions. But we DO accept sponsorship if you just love what this is about and you want to put your name to it!
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• You will be demonstrating that you are socially responsible employer and that you are actively choosing to remove barriers with a view to supporting the circular economy and enabling a tax in instead of tax out enforced culture
Corporate Membership Single Mums Business Network [smbn] Visit singlemumsbusinessnetwork.com/corporate membership
• You will be actively demonstrating that you are supporting our positive social impact mission whilst supporting other single mums, and our friends, in business
• Annual presentation for your team
CORPORATE MEMBERSHIP
• Your employees benefit from immediate specialist support and full member benefits should they become a single parent via separation, loss of a partner or through choice.
• You will be committed to understanding and accommodating single mothers, and fathers with barriers to childcare
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• Inclusion in the quarterly Single Mums Business Magazine
Corporate Membership not only makes sense as a Marketing investment, it’s also great to support economic impact for tenders.
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where SOLO no longer means SOLO
Whatever joy there is in this world, All comes from desiring others to be happy, And whatever suffering there is in this world, All comes from desiring myself to be happy. […]
Master Shantideva