Darkness within

Darkness Within

The darkness that lies within our souls is seldom seen by others, only deep within our minds, & our darkest of dreams do these dwell within these pages you will find the things that will awaken your darkened souls & minds...

By: Andrew Rutledge

1

Darkness Within

Table of contents Chapter

Title

Page #

I.

My New Home

4

II.

What Can He Say

6

III.

Halls Of The Damned

8

IV.

Memories

10

V.

In Thee End

12

VI.

I AM Broken

14

VII.

Harbinger

16

VIII.

A World Without A Care

18

IX.

A World So Cold

20

X.

Visions

22

XI.

Dark Angel

24

XII.

Shattered Images

26

XIII.

A Summoning Of Pain

28

2

Darkness Within

Table of contents Chapter

Title

Page #

XIV.

House of Pain

30

XV.

THE LONG ROAD TRAVELED

32

XVI.

A Game ?

34

XVII.

As The Winds of Time Blows

36

XVIII.

A Praise To The Goddess Araidia

38

XIX.

Joining Of Two Souls

40

3

Darkness Within

My New Home

My heart aches, And my souls weeps, I feel I have died once more, I wish for the grave, But yet it seems I am condemned to live,

4

Darkness Within Knowing that I will have to harbor this pain till the end of time, Forgiveness there is none, For to be forgiven one must forgive themselves, I will never forgive myself for what has been done, I will live life knowing that it will be filled with emptiness & pain, For I deserve nothing less, Misery will become my new home, For in the end I deserve nothing less, I have hoped & followed dreams for the last time, Tis better to rot away from the inside out, And slowly decay, Then to ever chase hope & dreams, that just bring pain & lies, Misery is my new home I have no will to live life, Forever broken I will remain, never to pick the pieces back up, My life is over, For something I have done & I will never forgive myself, For in the end, my teacher was right; You are a danger to your self & all those around you, & everything you touch you will bring sorrow & pain.

Tis time to face the truth, alone & in misery is all that is meant for me, & I deserve much worse!

By: Andrew

5

Darkness Within

What Can He Say ?

A cerebral mind fuck, full of decay, As I look around me at this pittyless, mindless waste, All I see before me in this intrepid state of decay, & rotting stench, Ah shit it's just another dead body. With feathers drench in tears of blood, Damn I guess anther one of daddy’s precious angels, met its fate.

6

Darkness Within Tis a shame when you think about it, For he did let his only begotten son to die, like a stuck pig, So why would he care if I take another one, For they look better with there feathers wet in blood, And to hear them scream at a god that does not care, Oops there went another one, I guess He really doesn't care, It’s all the same to me, For in the end, at least I can say that I didn't turn my back on my children!

What can he say when his time comes!

By: Andrew

7

Darkness Within The Halls of The Damned

A succulent display of crimson delight, as you walk the halls of the damned, From the begging of time there court held true, Feasting a pawn the mortals, to saturate there lust, Tis not a sin, to enjoy a warm taped vein, But pure intoxication, as there life now becomes yours, Tis just a kiss

8

Darkness Within That will leave you in states of bliss, And awakens the inner desires within, That burn with each passing pulse, So let us continue in this elaborate dance, And let our lusts be one with each other, Till the very lasts drop, Then you may have your rest, For time is but a fleeting glimpse of what could have been, But now you must take your eternal rest!

By: Andrew

9

Darkness Within

Memories

Memories of a past that I thought I had laid to waste. There sting still as fresh as the day they were received, the day I truly learned that love is but a word that has no true meaning, only the deepest darkest of pain, & sorrow, that knows no end, for it is as deep & vast as thee Abyss, & you’ll find more compassion there, than in this cold worn soul! I still remember the day that we met just as it was happen now all over again before my very eyes, oh to know now what I didn’t know then.

To old soul from many past lives bound by magic of old, for our souls & minds are as one, always to know each others pains, & to always now were the others at no matter the distance. And now to live apart for the rest of our lives all because of someone’s greed for power. You had to make a pact w/ an entity that you should have known it would not keep, & you & your so called friends wanted to

10

Darkness Within use me as the sacrifice to achieve this, you should’ve never allowed yourself to fall in love! For you thought me how to sever those cords that control all emotion, & you acted at the time when I needed you the most to plunge that dagger in, you pushed the right buttons & knew I’d sever those cords. How naive was I but that’s not what hurt the most, it was livening all those years harboring that hatred that I had for you, to then finally learn the truth, that you did it out of love, for you new no other way to protect what you held dear, but to destroy anything that was good in pure in me all in the name of love. Which do you think hurt most the fact you were going to kill me & that I was, I would have given my life freely at that time to save yours, but then I really didn’t know the truth then either. And to find out you did it for love imagine what that must have been like, to have all that hatred implode a pawn itself, & we wonder way I turned my back on life for all those years, not caring if I lived or died or if the world would just crumble away & die, that would have made my day. But you new all this for your sight is just as strong as mine & amplified when we were to gather as was everything else that we share, now that’s the true curse & irony of it all for we share everything even to this day! Oh why now does this door have to open, why must I relive this nightmare again, you made me who I’m today, I hope you are proud of your self, for I curse the day we met, & I’m not speaking of this life time either, so now I’ll take these lessons to heart & never let anyone get that close ever again. I’ve come to find comfort in, my darkened heart, I've learned to embrace all the pain & sorrow, & make it my own, for there is no room for anything else. You thought me the ultimate lesson in life that you can’t trust anyone for in the end there just disposable tools that when there no use you discard them! For is that not what you did to me? Be very thankful that I’m not the same person that I was back then! I’ve learned to deal with my pain & I still struggle letting people get close to me but then again each day is a new beginning, yes I like what I have become, & I have you to thank for that!

By: Andrew

11

Darkness Within

In The End

A darkened heart that knows no love, A soul that is an empty shell, Both filled with broken hopes & dreams, To know oneself is to know eternal damnation, For there is nothing left that is pure, It is an endless game, That is set to the flame,

12

Darkness Within For it can not be tamed, In the end it stills the same!

A constant crucifixion is all it is, As we slowly bleed away, thinking that there is a thing called true love, But in truth it's one big lie, Set to pacify our mind.

For it is better to be an empty shell, than live one big lie.

For the soul knows only one thing, Out of nothing it came & out of nothing it will return, Only to repeat this agony over & over for all eternity!

So why not enjoy our carnal lust, & do what thy will, For in the end it doesn't really matter, For life is just one big lie!

By: Andrew

13

Darkness Within

I am Broken

Empty, Hollow, Despair, For this is what my life has become, Broken, Ravaged, And decayed, Tis a temple of sorrow, and nothing more,

14

Darkness Within Lifeless, heartless, And soulless, Is what I have become, There is no hope, There is no love, There is no dream, For my life has no meaning, nor no end, Pain, Suffering, And agony, Is all that I feel, for everything else was just a lie.

Misery, Heart ache, And loss, As I stand here now I am broken, and wish to remain, that way! For in the end it is all that there is!

By: Andrew

15

Darkness Within

Harbinger

A state of chaos for which I embrace, A decadence of hate I unleash, For this world has met its fate.

16

Darkness Within As I walk through the valley that is full of death & decay, For I have become the harbinger of death, Seeking what I may.

The time has come, and the Kingdom is gone, For there is no false messiahs here, Only the dead shall know the truth, And a bitter one that will be.

Plagues & pestilence is but a game, Set to scary children that are just having fun, But if you wish to feel pain, Then come feel my blade, As I run you through, And bath in your crimson soiled life, For the time has come for the Harbinger to claim his bride, And lay waste to all the lies.

For the earth has met her time!

By: Andrew

17

Darkness Within

A WORLD WITHOUT CARE

A broken trust from one placed on high, tis anguish & pain that my soul now feels, flooding through me with no end. Tis better to walk alone in this world than place your trust in a world that does not care, for all it wishes to see is that everything suffers & bleeds away.

18

Darkness Within Does life have any meaning at all? For all I see it is nothing but misery, slowly rotting you away from the inside out without a care. I here people speak of love in this world all I see is a word with no meaning, & a word that is a lie within it self.

Why bother caring for something that does not care back, for it only wishes to destroy & consume anything that is pure. And truth be told there is no longer anything pure in this world, it lost its way a long time ago.

Tis better to stand alone & push all away for in the end it is only you to begin with, for nobody will be there in your darkest hours or when you call out for help. Just you & your mind is all that you have, & that by far is the darkest thing you will ever know.

As it was put to me & I will quote “ you are a danger to me & all that is around you “ tis true those words for all that follows me is pain, misery,& death. For all that I touch turns to dust & fades away.

Tis a lovely life wouldn’t you say, to know that in thee end all you have lived for meant nothing at all, just one broken dream set to torment you for all of eternity & that is the pure irony of it all!

By: Andrew

19

Darkness Within

A WORLD SO COLD

I seem to be drifting farther away, as I stand here all alone in this world that is so cold.

20

Darkness Within It seems I just keep falling, deeper,& deeper within myself, Always helping others, but never allowing my self to get to close, For I do not wish to bring them, pain & misery that seems to follow me.

I’ve stood on the outside for so long, in this world that is so cold, But worst of all, I’ve become that cold & live my life numb for I can’t let others see what this pain has truly done to me.

I’ve forgotten how to trust, but then again, I never let anyone get that close, to many betrayals for one life time, & I’m still young.

I’ve become so cold that the only emotions I know are the very one’s that people fear.

I’ve put up so many walls, to keep people out, but in the end it has become my very own house of pain.

As I stair into a mirror, I do not recognize the face that is staring back at me, For it is a face that hides behind a lie, for others to see, but never to really know For I can never allow myself to open up like I did oh so long ago, & it’s been a down ward spiral ever since, one painful dagger after another, Tis the reason I chose to stand alone, in this world so cold.

For all that is left is an empty shell. That beats on memories alone!

By: Andrew

21

Darkness Within Visions

A state of unrest as my life starts to slowly slip away, For I feel so weak, and my heart is faint,

22

Darkness Within To know that I might fail, when I don't dare to at all, For it is not my life at stake, for that as no meaning at all, Visions come, visions play, Now I am caught in a race against time, To save someone dear, For a future is at stake, I feel so drained, but yet I continue on, Knowing either way it may lead me to my grave, Oh why has fate brought this too my door, But yet I know that I must go on, I do not know how much I have left, But on the morrow it will begin again, And I will give it all, once again, To save the one that is so dear.

For my visions never lie, And she is the key to all our hope, If only I have the strength to endure, This new twist of fate.

So I will continue on, Till I have nothing left to give, but my last breath, For all ease as become meaning less, For it is the grave, or a heavenly feast, for I'm not dead yet!

By: Andrew

23

Darkness Within

Dark Angel

Emotions running deep, Pain reaching new heights, With each step taken this nite, Life begins to look bleak, As the blood begins to boil, And the light grows dim within, I feed on all the pain & past memories, Fueling a fire that has been long snuffed out, To do me wrong means nothing at all, For I quit caring long ago, But to wrong one that is close & dear, 24

Darkness Within I'll show you that I truly am no angel, For Death walks beside me, And he has more compassion & mercy than me, I feed off all your pain & all your fears, For I am the fallen, And you have become my prey, And time is but a moment before I claim my prize, Eternal will be your pain, Forever crying out, But no one will ever hear you, Not the sun or the moon, Not the Angels up above or the Devils down below, For you will forever burn for all eternity, Cursed by all, for that is my will, I am the Dark Angel at your door, You should have never wrong someone close & dear to my soul, Now’s the time for you to say good bye, For I am the Dark Angel at your door, And on this nite you will feel my scourge, And all the pain, of a life lived in vain, And when the sun rises you will be no more,, And I will return to the light, And be the Dark Angel no more!

By: Andrew

25

Darkness Within

SHATTERED IMAGES

An empty shell, full of empty promises, What a decreaped state, Life & reality shattered in pieces, For the heart no longer bleeds, For it has nothing left to give,

26

Darkness Within All that is lift is broken promises & lies, No love to share or feelings to bare.

Set in a blackened state with no mercy to bare, Shattered images falling before me, A spiraling madness that has no end, As life slowly bleeds you dry, Can you see this shattered image standing before you, Or is it just another empty shell, That has no purpose, or meaning, For that is what must be, Now can you see my pain, That is shattered & twisted before you, So welcome to my reality!

By: Andrew

27

Darkness Within

A Summoning Of Pain

A summoning of pain with life left in vain; for all the future seems slain. An endless drain as time seeps by, bringing a blackness deeper than the void it self.

A pitiful gray waste, burning emotions to sate, for all of fate as been a fucking joke. For life is just a game & guess what, we are just pawns in a freak experiment!

Can you feel this posioness mockery running through your veins? Screaming for release but there is no out let for you to direct it on, because society has us so brainwashed, like puppets on a string dancing to hypocritical lies.

Can't you hear the pain & cries that is all around you seeking for an embrace & an end to their broken hopes & dreams. An endless nightmare spiraling out of

28

Darkness Within control full of broken dreams & misguided ways all left to bare at our feet, for our failures to erase there pain.

What have we become, that we seem to no longer care about those in there times of pain. Have we become so brainwashed that we've cast our future generations to a hell that has no control or care. It seem that we forgotten who we really are, & what it means to be free.

For in the end we must break free from the chains that bind us, & use that pain to set others free, & give our future generation a chance to create their own way of life, free from the hypocritical lies that are thought to control, & suppress us.

By: Andrew

29

Darkness Within

HOUSE OF PAIN

A DECREAPED LOT LEFT VACANT TO DECAY. A WINDOWLESS VOID FOR TOREMENTED SOULS TO ABORE. TIS OUR HOUSE OF PAIN. BLOOD DRIPING FROM THE WALLS ECHOING OUR TWISTED FATE'S, BEGGING FOR THE BLADE TO END OUR HOUSE OF PAIN! SHATTERED IMAGES, DESOLATE DREAMS, AN ENDLESS

30

Darkness Within VOID OF LIFE; CAN YOU FEEL MY PAIN OR ARE YOU JUST THE BLOOD THAT SEAPS TROUGH MY VIENS FROM A SHATTERED MIRROR GLEAMING BLACK? AS A RIVER RUNING SCARLET, BLEEDING LIFE TO BUT A DROP, SO IS OUR HOUSE OF PAIN, BEGGING TI BE SLAIN! VOICES CALLING OUT IN THE NIGHT, TIS BUT OUR PRIMAL SCREAM, W/ AN ANGELIC FACE & DEMONIC VOICE SEEKING TO DESACRATE OUR SO CALLED FATHERS HOLY TEMPLE, TIS ONLY SKIN THAT BLEEDS A FINE CRIMSON WINE! DRINK FULL FROM THE CHALICE OF OUR IMORTAL LUST; TIS NOT A SIN, BUT JUST A FABULOUS FEAST BEACKENING TO BE CONSUMED TO THE VERY LAST DROP. OH FATHER WERE ART THOU, AS I TAKE YOUR CHILDREN TO THE STAKE! CAN YOU FEEL THEIR PAIN AS THY CRY OUT IN VAIN, BEGINING FOR MERCY THAT THEY WILL NOT OBTAINE. WELLCOME TO OUR HOUSE OF PAIN, DANCEING IN A POOL OF CRIMSON DELIEGHT, FEEDING OFF THE LIFE THAT YOU HAVE ALL BUT FORESAKEN! NOW I SET MY FINAL PRICE! OPEN THE DOOR & WALK THROUGH THEIR GRAVES & FEEL THIER PAIN ALL ETCHED IN RED, ECHOING THROUGH THE HALLS OF THE ETERNAL DAMNED! LOOK THROUGH THERE HOLLOW BODIES & TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE AS THEY SLOWLY DECAY FROM THIS HOUSE OF PAIN! STAIRING BACK AT YOU ALL EMPTY & HOLLOW AS A SHATTERED IMAGE THAT AS NO NAME; SO FEEL OUR PAIN IN A CRIMSON RAIN AS IT CONSUEMS OUR FLAME & SPARKS OUR LUST TO A NEVER ENDING DREAM! WELLCOME TO MY HOUSE OF PAIN & FOREVER TO MAINTAIN!!!

By: Andrew

31

Darkness Within THE LONG ROAD TRAVELED

Distant memories of a long road traveled, Full of bitter sweat good byes, To open one self up like a blossoming flower, But all that has ever come of that, Is sorrow & pain.

32

Darkness Within For the life I have lived has been one hard lesson after another.

So many lies that I can't even remember who all told them, But I still remember the one that hurt the most.

For it was the first, that set me down this road, With a kiss to boot.

Oh why do you call out now, & bring such misery to my door, I thought we agreed to go are separate ways, Or is this just another one of your pain full mind games, To ensure that we both never no happiness, only bitter bliss.

It's time to say good bye, for I shed enough tears, the day you sent me away with that kiss, and to always walk alone down this old darken road, that has become my home.

No more for I say it's done, it's time that you walk that road your self all alone & see how it truly feels, and know that you are truly alone!

By: Andrew

33

Darkness Within A GAME?

You wish to play a game?

Are you sure you wish to do that to your name, For there is no shame, I'll just leave you maimed.

Tis just for fun, But it will be brighter than the sun, So don't run, And that is not a pun!

34

Darkness Within As you can see I have many forms to spin, Some are just full of sin!, But good over gin, So don't turn to tin.

I would hate to get your rhyme, But it's just a matter of time, Before you are mine, SO DON"T BE THE MIME! By: Andrew

35

Darkness Within

AS THE WINDS OF TIME BLOW

Seasons come and seasons go For our life's are in constant change, Always seeing, But at times not always believing, But along the way one comes, And shows us the things, that we have failed to see, Either for fear of what might be, or what might not be, And opens our hearts to a season of change.

As the wind blows our lives pass by, And at times we forget what life really is, So caught up in the turmoil’s of the day, Our life’s pass on by without a meaning at all.

Until that someone comes along and shows you that life has truly just begun, And all the endless possibilities in life become fresh and a live, For you have found the one that is the true meaning of life, So do not let the winds of change pass you by,

36

Darkness Within For it is a new day, and change is but a moment, Do not be the one that lets life pass by, But be the one, who sizes the moment, For this is your day, and always remember these words, “CARPERE DIEM�

By: Andrew

37

Darkness Within A PRAIS TO THE GODDESS ARADIA

You are the Moon that lites my way, Your Heart is what gives me life, Your many Faces I embrace, I give you praise on this night for all that you've done for some one such as me, And once I again I Renew My Vow, For your Beauty has shown me many things, & Your light consumes me.

Your Darkness I embrace, for it is the fire that fuels my soul, With out you the stars have no place, And life no purpose, For you are the Goddess of night & giver of day, so I now recite my vow & ask

38

Darkness Within one more thing of thee, As I whisper it on the winds of time for only you to hear.

Ekko Ekko ARADIA, Ekko Ekko ARADIA, Ekko Ekko Aradia, Blessed Be!!!

May all who know the words I've said give praise to THEE!!!

By: Andrew

39

Darkness Within

The Joining Of Two Souls

My words can be dark and full of pain, But I have come to know the true meaning of the soul,

40

Darkness Within It is not words that speak, it is our inner desires that call out, For life is but a moment etched in time, But our souls are eternal and wish to take fight, And transcend above all our pains and heart aches.

Tis an amazing feeling when two souls meet, For they share what the other seeks, And it seems that they where always meant to be one, Illuminating each other as such that can only be called divine, Oh how does the Heavens weep at such a sight, It is sad that I have just now come to learn this, For it took someone dear to me to lift me out of the darkness I was in, And show me that to souls can truly transcend, But must of all to show me that all things can be healed through love, And that life is truly pure, if you just let someone in!

For now is the time for all to shine, For life is only etched in time, So why waste a moment such as this, Go and find the one that will truly make you soul transcend, And don't ever look back, for your souls have become one, and time is now eternal!

By: Andrew

41