Love Sucks

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LOVE, WE’RE TOLD by sages and poets, by artists and activists,

You want a truth that’s universally acknowledged? Love sucks.

is the answer. Love will set us free. It will lift us up when we’re

It is the actual worst. It’ll make you feel things for people, and then

down, give us hope when we’re hopeless, give our very lives

those people will leave. It’s like a drug, but instead of making you

the meaning and purpose we crave. We hear it so much it’s

cool, it just makes you cry over soppy ads on TV. It will make

become a sort of everlasting refrain. All you need is love. Love

you earnest. And it will make you boring. And it will end.

is all you need.

If there’s one thing that both sceptics and converts can

Bullshit. Love will not — in any true or lasting way — set you

agree on, it’s that love is mysterious. Is it the universal life force

free. It can’t pay your bills when you’re broke. People who are in

or just chemicals whizzing around your body that make you do

love seem to become at least 10 per cent dumber. And if love

a bunch of dumb things? No offence, lovers, but we’re betting

really is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

on the latter.

Love, it seems, is a collective delusion propped up by an

‘Love,’ said Charles Bukowski, ‘is a dog from Hell.’ We’d like to

effective marketing plan. A lie perpetuated by poets. The great

add that it will probably give you rabies. So let’s hear it for the

rock ’n’ roll swindle. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was

cynics and the heart-bored and to anyone who’s ever looked

probably the invention of Valentine’s Day.

love in the eye and thought: meh. This one’s for you.

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LOVE SUCKS

LAURELL K. HAMILTON BLUE MOON

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LOVE SUCKS

LOVE SUCKS

ENID

ALAIN DE BOTTON

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9

GHOST WORLD

ON LOVE


LOVE SUCKS

SPIKE

BUFFY: THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

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LOVE SUCKS

NANCY MITFORD

LOVE IN A COLD CLIMATE

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LOVE SUCKS

RAYMOND CHANDLER

LOVE SUCKS

CHRIS ROCK

THE LONG GOODBYE

NEVER SCARED

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LOVE SUCKS

KATHARINE HEPBURN

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LOVE SUCKS

LORRIE MOORE SELF-HELP

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LOVE SUCKS

FRANÇOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD

LOVE SUCKS

MARY WOLLSTONECRAFT

REFLECTIONS; OR SENTENCES AND MORAL MAXIMS

A VINDICATION OF THE RIGHTS OF WOMEN

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SYLVIA PLATH

THE UNABRIDGED JOURNALS OF SYLVIA PLATH


LOVE SUCKS

EVELYN WAUGH

DECLINE AND FALL

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LOVE SUCKS

INGE AND STEN HEGELER

LOVE SUCKS

NOËL COWARD

AN ABZ OF LOVE

THE LETTERS OF NOËL COWARD

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LOVE SUCKS

FRANÇOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD

REFLECTIONS; OR SENTENCES AND MORAL MAXIMS

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LOVE SUCKS

LORRIE MOORE LIKE LIFE

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LOVE SUCKS

WOODY ALLEN

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LOVE SUCKS

SONJA

LOVE AND DEATH

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LOVE SUCKS

PAULO COELHO

BY THE RIVER PIEDRA I SAT DOWN AND WEPT

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LOVE SUCKS

PETER PRANGE

THE PHILOSOPHER’S KISS

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LOVE SUCKS

LOVE SUCKS

AMBROSE BIERCE

SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE

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THE DEVIL’S DICTIONARY


HELEN ROWLAND A GUIDE TO MEN


LOVE SUCKS

LOVE SUCKS

CHARLES BUKOWSKI

JEAN-PAUL SARTRE

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WOMEN

NO EXIT


LOVE SUCKS

DAVID SEDARIS

DRESS YOUR FAMILY IN CORDUROY AND DENIM

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LOVE SUCKS

DIANE ARBUS

LOVE SUCKS

OSCAR WILDE

THE ART OF PHOTOGRAPHY

THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY

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RICHIE TENENBAUM

THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS


LOVE SUCKS

CHUCK PALAHNIUK

LOVE SUCKS

FRANÇOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD

FIGHT CLUB

REFLECTIONS; OR SENTENCES AND MORAL MAXIMS

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LOVE SUCKS

ROY ORBISON LOVE HURTS

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LOVE SUCKS

SYLVIA PLATH THE BELL JAR

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LOVE SUCKS

HENRY ROLLINS

IN THE SYDNEY MORNING HERALD

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LOVE SUCKS

THE SMITHS

HOW SOON IS NOW?

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LOVE SUCKS

MIGNON MCLAUGHLIN

THE COMPLETE NEUROTIC’S NOTEBOOK

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LOVE SUCKS

PAULO COELHO

LOVE SUCKS

FRANÇOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD

BY THE RIVER PIEDRA I SAT DOWN AND WEPT

REFLECTIONS; OR SENTENCES AND MORAL MAXIMS

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LOVE SUCKS

WOODY ALLEN

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PLATO

PHAEDRUS


LOVE SUCKS

CHUCK PALAHNIUK

LOVE SUCKS

PLATO

HAUNTED

PHAEDRUS

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LOVE SUCKS

EDDIE CANTOR KID MILLIONS

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LOVE SUCKS

GEORGE BERNARD SHAW THREE PLAYS FOR PURITANS

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LOVE SUCKS

LOVE SUCKS

LEONARDO DA VINCI

W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM

QUOTED IN COLLECTED WORKS OF PAUL VALÉRY, VOLUME 8: LEONARDO, POE, MALLARME

THE SUMMING UP

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LOVE SUCKS

LEONARD COHEN LOVE IS A FIRE

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LOVE SUCKS

CYRIL CONNOLLY

THE UNQUIET GRAVE: A WORD CYCLE BY PALINURUS

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LOVE SUCKS

SUSAN SONTAG

LOVE SUCKS

LEMONY SNICKET

AS CONSCIOUSNESS IS HARNESSED TO FLESH: JOURNALS AND NOTEBOOKS, 1964–1980

HORSERADISH: BITTER TRUTHS YOU CAN’T AVOID

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LOVE SUCKS

H. L. MENCKEN

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LOVE SUCKS

LOVE SUCKS

BOJACK HORSEMAN

ARTHUR RIMBAUD

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BOJACK HORSEMAN

I’M NOT THERE


LOVE SUCKS

DANIEL S. GREENBERG EXES

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LOVE SUCKS

LOVE SUCKS

MIGNON MCLAUGHLIN

STEVE MARTIN

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THE COMPLETE NEUROTIC’S NOTEBOOK


LOVE SUCKS

GEORGE RR MARTIN A CLASH OF KINGS

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LOVE SUCKS

OSCAR WILDE

A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE

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LOVE SUCKS

ANDY WARHOL

LOVE SUCKS

GERMAINE GREER

THE PHILOSOPHY OF ANDY WARHOL

ON ENOUGH ROPE WITH ANDREW DENTON

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LOVE SUCKS

FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY

THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV

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LOVE SUCKS

LIZ LEMON 30 ROCK

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LOVE SUCKS

LOVE SUCKS

GERMAINE GREER

PAUL VALÉRY

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THE FEMALE EUNUCH


LOVE SUCKS

CHARLES BUKOWSKI

LOVE IS A DOG FROM HELL

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LOVE SUCKS

MAUREEN DUFFY

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Published in 2017 by Smith Street Books Melbourne | Australia smithstreetbooks.com ISBN: 978-192541869-9 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted by any person or entity, in any form or means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning or by any storage and retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publishers and copyright holders. Copyright design Š Smith Street Books Copyright illustrations Š Emma Munger CIP data is available from the National Library of Australia Publisher: Hannah Koelmeyer Compiled by: Nadia Bailey Design: Astred Hicks Illustrator: Emma Munger Printed & bound in China by C&C Offset Printing Co., Ltd. Book 46 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the quotes and their attribution, imperfection is as inevitable as heartbreak.


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