Lion Pride Newspaper
5th Edition Friday, February 9
Joke , Riddle , an Comic Sectio
Jokes And Riddles ● A Canadian psychologist is selling a video on how to test your dog’s IQ. This is how it works: If you buy the video for $12.99 then your dog’s smarter than you. ● If people say they love the smell of books, then I always want to take them aside and ask them, “Do you know how reading works?” ● The closest I’ve been to a diet this year is erasing food searches on my web browser. ● Here’s some advice for a job interview: tell them you’re willing to give them 110% unless the job you’re applying for is as a statistician. ● So what if I can’t spell Armageddon , it’s not the end of the world. ● Fifth Third Bank? I don’t think you know how to number things, which is what I am looking for in a bank. ● I dressed my dog as a cat this Halloween. Now he won’t come when I call him.
● The biggest change after having kids is the swear jar. Every time I say a bad word, I put a dollar in the jar. At the end of the week, I go out and buy myself a big steak with the money to congratulate myself for being such a cool dad. ● I just found the worst page in the dictionary. What I found was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous. ● If con is the opposite of pro, then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress? ● I don't understand why people get attacked by sharks. Can they not hear the music? ● I entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house. ● I named my dog 6 miles so I can tell people that I walk 6 miles every single day. ● Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons, but they forgot to mention Morons. ● I wrote a song about tortillas. Well, actually, it’s more of a wrap. ● A lot of people cry when they cut onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
● My girlfriend and I always laugh at how competitive we are. But I always laugh more. ● There’s nothing simpler than avoiding one’s enemies. The real test is avoiding one’s friends. ● I got my first fulltime job, but I could swear that I made more money working for my parents as their daughter. ● A lady walked into a bar with her goose. The bartender asked, ” Why did you bring this pig in here?” The lady said, “Excuse me, this is not a pig.” The bartender said, “I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to the goose.”
Comics
Sport Sectio Super Bowl LII Records We know you probably watched the Super Bowl, so instead of telling you what you already know, we are going to show you some new Super Bowl records. Sorry New England fans, but the Super Bowl might not have been your favorite. Just to start off, the final score was 4133, Eagles. At U.S. Bank Stadium in Minnesota, it was the most exciting time of the century for Eagles fans, who went to their only Super Bowl in 1960, where they beat the legendary Vince Lombardi Packers. If the Patriots had won, they would have tied the most Super Bowl wins with a quarterback and coach, where Brady and Belichick would’ve tied the same amount of titles as Bart Starr and Vince Lombardi. Also, they would have tied for the most Super Bowls won, six. Here are some new Super Bowl records: Nick Foles became the first quarterback to receive a touchdown and throw a touchdown in a Super Bowl. They copied the Pats play, but it actually worked for the Eagles. There was a total of 1,151 yards, a record for the most yards in the Super Bowl. Tom Brady got the most passing yards in a postseason game, 505. The Patriots actually got an award for losing, the most points scored by a losing team, 33. (They can’t get enough of these guys.) Brady also got the most appearances in a Super Bowl by a quarterback, 8, and the most career touchdown passes in Super Bowls, 18. The longest field goal kicked by a rookie in a Super Bowl goes to the Eagle’s kicker, Jake Elliott, a total of 46 yards. (He made it!) For you Pats fans, they hold another record. They have the most Super Bowl appearances by a franchise, 10. For Eagles fans, the Pats have the most Super Bowl losses, 5.
Champions League 2017-18 Group Stage Review & Group of 16 Preview Group Stage Review Group A: Advancers: #1 Manchester United, #2 FC Basel NonAdvancers: #3 CSKA Moscow, #4 Benfica Group B: Advancers: #1 Paris SaintGermain, #2 Bayern Munich NonAdvancers: #3 Celtic, #4 Anderlecht Group C: Advancers: #1 AS Roma, #2 Chelsea NonAdvancers: #3 Atletico Madrid, #4 FK Qarabag Group D: Advancers: #1 Barcelona, #2 Juventus NonAdvancers: #3 Sporting CP, #4 Olympiakos Group E: Advancers: #1 Liverpool, #2 Sevilla FC NonAdvancers: #3 Spartak Moscow, #4 NK Maribor Group F: Advancers: #1 Manchester City, #2 Shakhtar Donetsk NonAdvancers: #3 Napoli, #4 Feyenoord Rotterdam Group G: Advancers: #1 Besiktas, #2 FC Porto NonAdvancers: #3 RB Leipzig, #4 AS Monaco Group H: Advancers: #1 Tottenham Hotspur, #2 Real Madrid NonAdvancers: #3 Borussia Dortmund, #4 Apoel Nicosia
*The way the Champions League Group of 16 works is a team plays an away game and a home game. Group of 16 Preview FC Basel vs. Manchester City : FC Basel barely squeaked through while Manchester City easily won their group, and this should be easy for Man City to advance. Juventus vs. Tottenham Hotspur : These should be two great matches between two great teams, and it is hard to predict who will win. FC Porto vs. Liverpool : FC Porto finished behind Besiktas, and Liverpool won their group, and Liverpool has also looked a lot better. Real Madrid vs. Paris SaintGermain : This will definitely be one of the best matches of the tournament, and while Real won last year, Paris is looking strong. Bayern Munich vs. Besiktas : Although Besiktas won their group and Bayern did not, Bayern had to play PSG and has looked a lot better in their respective league than Besiktas. Chelsea vs. Barcelona : With the way Chelsea has been dropping points lately, I think these will not be the great matches everyone expected. Barca has looked a lot better lately, and should easily advance. Sevilla FC vs. Manchester United : Even though these are not top teams, they’ve been playing well lately and these should be two great matches. Shakhtar Donetsk vs. AS Roma : AS Roma has looked great, and Shakhtar Donetsk has not. That’s all I have to say.
Schoo Sectio
A Visit to Promise House
Over the weekend, a group of sixth graders from St. Mark’s made a visit to Promise House in order to interact with the residents. When they first arrived, they helped carry food to the cafeteria to serve meat lasagna, chicken alfredo, salad, and garlic bread, with cookies for dessert. They also had lemonade and water. The Promise House is located about fifteen minutes south of downtown Dallas. The vision for the Promise House is to help every youth have a healthy and safe childhood. We interviewed Promise House’s director, Ms. Belmarez. Lion Pride: How does the Promise House get food for all the kids? Ms. Belmarez: We receive food from the North Texas Food Bank and from private donations. The Junior League also comes once a week to drop off fresh fruits and vegetables. LP: How many kids come to Promise House per month, and how many kids can stay at Promise House at one time? Ms. Belmarez: About 28 to 32 kids come per month. 56 kids can stay in this building, but we have other houses where they can hold 20 more kids, but those are for kids who are 1720. LP: What do the kids here do every day? Ms. Belmarez: The kids here go to school, have recreation time, and do homework. Sometimes volunteers will come here and play with the kids.
Life of a Lion Pride Newspaper Writer The Lion Pride Team has three meetings every two weeks, consisting of a planning day, a work day, and an editing day. We even usually have some type of delicious snack! Here are some photos from the meetings:
We have announcements at the beginning of every meeting, and we sometimes eat snacks, but other than that, it varies. Planning Day Work Day 1st Tuesday back from 2nd Tuesday back from our last paper our last paper ● Go over any ● Writers try to set feedback we heard up our stories so from the last paper we can finish on ● Think of stories for the Work Day each section ● Ask questions ● Choose the best about our stories if stories we have them ● Go over ideas for ● Get right to work! our next stories
Editing Day 2nd Thursday back from our last paper ● Make any finishing touches on our stories we may need to ● Read the paper on the SmartBoard and make final edits ● Send the paper to Mr. Carden!
In conclusion, Lion Pride is a very organized and fun paper that has three meetings every ten school days! The workers are all hardworking, committed, and avid writers. *If you are a 6th grader and this looked appealing to you, please consider joining the Lion Pride Newspaper. We are always looking for new members! Please talk to Ben Adams if you have any questions.
Credits We could not have done this without our sponsor, Mrs. Jenkins, and our writers and editors: Ben Adams Hudson Brown William Clarke Warner Hartnett Henry Hoak Raja Mehendale Nathan Meyer Baxter PerryMiller Sohum Sukhatankar Reed Sussman Tyler Tang