UNSC by Nisa Suhaimy The Security Council started off their fifth session well with their first ever resolution passed for the crisis in India. Hence, the Council returned to work on their first agenda (still) of the South China Sea. Multiple versions of the resolution were submitted and it did not seem like the Council was nearing any success.
On a less serious note, some delegates have found a way to have an upperhand in the chamber by providing the other delegates with Wi-Fi connection. While I attempt to connect to the NUS Wi-Fi, the other available connections were 'WiFi (Sponsored by Nigeria)' and subsequently, Wifi@Chile, to which Nigeria disputed that they were the original Wi-Fi sponsors.
The prolonging of the South China Sea debate was exacerbated by the confusion between bilateral and multilateral natured dialogues, to which Russia had to step in to clarify the terms. The delegate from China stepped in to provide the Council with an analogy of living in a house. He stated that one can do anything he wishes in the house, simply due to the fact that he owns it, regardless of its neighbours. The Russian delegate replied with an example of Malaysia as its neighbour and Malaysia would be upset if he were to be making lots of noises in his house. China was quick-witted to respond - “You can do whatever you want with Malaysia in the bedroom!”
As the session dragged on, the analogies were getting worse. National interests were likened to body parts – “we all have them, but no one says it out” (um, what?) The delegate of Chad, looking fatigued, rose to tell the Council that he is “sickly tired” of the countries prioritizing their national interests in a council that is supposed to prioritize the considerations of the Council as an international body.
Things took a more casual tone when the Chairs announced that they will be conduction voting procedures to choose their very own Mr. And Ms. Security Council. The delegate of China was requested to showcase a special talent. He responded with an ogling stare to the Council, which invited much laughter and chants of veto from everyone (This seems to be a thing in every Security Council). The delegate of Nigeria was then asked to say a pick-up line to one of the Chairs. I was pretty impressed by this one though (check out his pick-up line in the Quotable Quotes section)! Meanwhile, the delegate of Russia danced to LMFAO's I'm Sexy and I Know It and I think he pretty much embraced the whole idea of the song (and yes, he knows it).
All in all, the Council was pretty much enamoured by Jonas of China and won an overwhelming majority of votes. Jonas then had to do a catwalk with each female nominee. Many comments were made on the different pairings. As Beatrice of Russia and
Jonas of China planned out their catwalk, one of the delegates shouted, “Improved relations between Russia and China!”. Eventually, this pairing was chosen to represent the Security Council in the Mr. and Ms. SMUN Paegant.
Returning to the South China Sea issue, the delegate of UK exclaimed, “Oh, where were we ah?!”
4.36pm. Less than half an hour to the end of the session and draft resolution 1.5 was just submitted. They seemed to be quite a huge response on those wishing to speak against the resolution. It seemed clear that no passing of the resolution would be made at all that day. The delegate of Chad (still sickly tired), stated that the resolution is like a paper plane -throws paper plane onto the floor-, and expressed that it will not fly (point on analogies getting worse).
As everyone was getting weary, the Chairs eventually granted a motion to extend the discussion on the issue in the next session. The Chairs introduced 'Superlatives', in which the Council voted for the 'Sexiest Delegate', 'Most Unlikely to Get a Date For Socials' and 'Talked the Most BS'. Hence, ending the session on a good note and getting everyone hyped up for the social event.
SPECPOL by Diamanta Navia Lavi Day 3 of SPECPOL. The committee continued from where they left off the previous day and continued discussing the draft resolution to solve the crisis. The delegates wanted to rush to vote for the draft resolution but the Dias reminded them that the delegate of India was unhappy with clause number 11, which states that the UN Taskforce was to enter Kashmir as India felt that it was a breach of the country's sovereignty, hence even if the draft resolution passed, it will not be effective.
During an unmoderated caucus, the delegate of South Korea spoke to the sponsors of the draft resolution and convinced them to submit a friendly amendment to change clause 11. The sponsors agreed and hence, clause 11 was changed such that the UN Task Force would only enter the region upon the voluntary agreement of affected countries, hence, preventing any breach of sovereignty. The house then motioned to vote for the draft resolution, which eventually passed! The house moved into the second topic of cyber security. The house started off with a moderated caucus on individual countries' stances on the issue of cyber security, since it is a topic that is relatively new and has not been discussed in the UN previously. The delegate of India submitted a working paper to clarify certain key terms with regard to cyber security. After several rounds of unmoderate caucuses, the delegate of India submitted a draft resolution, focusing on how the More Economically Developed Countries could help the Less Economically Developed Countries in terms of cyber security infrastructure. The house eventually passed this resolution as well, with an almost unanimous vote for the draft resolution with the exception of one abstention from the Delegate of China.
The Chairs realised that the house was very diplomatic in their relations but not much constructive debate took place. Towards the end of the session, USG Academics Walter Yeo (yet again) took place. Towards the end of the session, he addressed the committee and suggested what exactly could have been discussed and how each delegates could approach the issue better.
HNAM by Shaun Tay The Third day of the HNAM committee at SMUN 2014 started like any other, with a round table regarding each countries’ stance on the Iranian revolution and hostage crisis, as well as normal moderated caucus, nothing out of the ordinary. However, that all changed when Cheryl Ko, the Secretary General of SMUN 2014, walked with nervous and hurried footsteps into the room.
India had just released and tested a nuclear weapon which measured 6.0 on the Richter scale, and caused damage from aftershocks which could be felt till far as the UAE. There was widespread damage everyone, with some reports likening it to a “Second hell on Earth”. It was ascertained at that moment that the catalyst and material of the nuclear weapon was Nemiyum, an undiscovered element. The committee sprang into action, with Cuba commenting that the USSR and the USA, bitter enemies during the cold war had not released any information on the blast and its knowledge of it.
Comments and ideas on what to do with the newly discovered killing potential of the Nemeyium ranged from Gabon apologizing about the “Morgan Freeman” lookalike . An escalation occurred when Sri lanka announced that they had seized a ship from Gabon with Nemeyium, and decided to impound the cargo.
The floor was spilt into 2, one which wanted to harness a potential energy source and another which was to completely ban the use and further research of the Nemeyium element, as well as its mining from Gabon and Yemen. However, a majority of the committee were against the further use of Nemeyium, and Suggested that too many powers with nuclear weapons were worrying. There was constant discussion, debating the ability of states to control such materials, as well as the Bangladeshi delegate who commented that they were in the “ First Step to Hell�, and mutual destruction and a balance of power would be deadly and widespread.
More events occurred, with the US army representative General Ocasey entering to describe the stance of the US. He insisted that the trade with Sri Lanka over Nemeyium was for research purposes, and that the scientist responsible for the bomb, was a wanted fugitive on the run from the Law. Following the clarification of the stance of the US, there was a nuclear threat in which the delegates were forced
to evacuate, causing many to once again lament the end of the world with the bomb.
They eventually returned to the floor, with the threat a false alarm. A draft resolution was eventually created, with many clauses inside to limit the sale of the Nemeyium to the rest of the world, with many calling for a complete ban and sale of Nemeyium. The Resolution finally went into voting, but despite several amendments and revisions, there was still no consensus. Eventually, the committee went into Clause voting, where each clause was voted upon separately. And thus, the crisis was solved via clause voting.
HGA by Regina Tan The Council started off on a positive note: A resolution for the Cambodia and the Khmer Rouge situation has been passed.
All for the resolution and with only one against it, Vietnam failed to convince the Council to adhere to his demands till the end but had worked hard to do so for the past two days.
With the successful passing of a resolution, the council then moved on to discuss the Rwanda Genocide crisis that had killed millions of people, determined to contain the situation and to put an end to it.
That is, until crisis struck.
Barely one hour into the council session, the special envoy from Pakistan, played by SpecPol Chair Celestine, came in to announce that they are now in the year 1998 and had detected nuclear testing in the Rajasthan Desert, near the territories of Pakistan, by India. Upon hearing the news, the council was thrown into a state of silence, having been stunned with sudden change. The delegate of Zambia then proceed to make a motion to "travel back in time, back to the Rwanda Crisis in
1994" in an attempt to reject the crisis, though this was promptly rejected by the Chair with a few giggles from the floor.
The other delegates proceeded to ask the special envoy questions about the crisis and confused faces could be seen throughout the Q&A. Delegates were at a loss of what they had to do to deal with the new crisis. That was, until the delegate of Nigeria raised the point that India, who has not sign the Treaty on the NonProliferation of Nuclear Weapons, has the right to test nuclear weapons and hence the UN should not interfere as it was within India's rights to do so. This was followed with an astounding round of applause from the Council, who agreed on focusing on what they deemed to be of more pressing issue - the genocide crisis in Rwanda. With that, the Council rejected the crisis, much to the amusement and horror of the observers and Chairs with the unexpected development.
This was despite the crisis escalation with the special envoy to Pakistan coming back to the Council after another hour, proclaiming that Pakistan, who like India,
hasn't sign the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons too and would likewise proceed to test their nuclear weapon near the territory of India. The delegate of India was however, 'cool' with it, and the Council rejected the crisis again, much to the frustration of the Crisis Team, Chairs and observers in the room.
Unable to comprehend why the Council had rejected the crisis, the Under Secretary-General of Academics, Walter Yeo, reprimanded the Council for not understanding the further implications given of the crisis, which would start an arms race of nuclear weapons and bombs and wiping out the world. This would be a small feat to achieve should nuclear testing not be contained and condemned, and the millions killed in the Genocide would have little impact as compared to the billions and trillions of living things killed by a nuclear bomb.
However, the bad guy role played by the Under Secretary-General worked; the Council was ready to take on the crisis after more clarifications and questions on the crisis. The delegate of United States started off the debate by condemning the
use of nuclear weapons and the willingness to use economic sanctions to stop the crisis, a motion supported by delegates of UK, Germany and Thailand among many others.
The delegate of India attempted to defend his country's testing of the nuclear weapons as peaceful, without any infringement on others' sovereignty. Justifying the action of conducting the nuclear test in the Rajasthan Desert, which is near Pakistan's borders as that of having limited land, the desert was the only one where testing could be done away from where the civilians live and to minimize damages to its environment. On the other hand, Pakistan had plenty of land away from India's borders that could have been used for the testing and their actions were clearly seen as antagonistic. Therefore the delegate of India urged the council to reduce the sanctions on India to be significantly lesser than that of Pakistan and India does not see the need to be punished. The delegate of India's use of words managed to convince many in the room on the innocence of India in this matter. The Council then proceeded with an unmoderated caucus to draft a resolution and the Council was divided into blocs with differed opinions. The Council proceed on with their debates and were unable to come to any conclusive results. The crisis was then deemed as unresolved at the end of two hours, with the council failing to pass a resolution and it ended with a terrorist attack on the UN HQ in NY, causing the Council to have an emergency evacuation to the UTown, Town Green, before breaking for lunch.
UNHRC The HRC began the day with nominations for pageant. Within seconds, the floor erupted into life. Arrows flew across and the delegate of UAE (which was absent) and the delegate of Switzerland were the chosen ones. After that, the session began with swift motions to table a draft resolution.
The UNHRC was as usual, haste in pushing forward their the resolution, resulting in one frustrated Chair fuming over formatting errors. The quick succession of amendments, both friendly and unfriendly threatened to overthrow the entire resolution, but it was only after a constructive lunch break that saw the end of the to-and-fro debate.
The floor erupted into applause.
The second topic was quickly put into motion which saw comprehensive topics discussed. A technical problem, however, hampered out progress and the floor resumed discussion over the male representative for HRC. The delegate of Denmark was placed in contention with the still absent delegate of UAE. Right on cue, the delegate of UAE burst into the room which brought on (amusing) applause from the floor. Both delegates were then made to catwalk across the aisle and the delegate of UAE eventually managed to impress the audience with his suave strut.
The debate was then resumed without much further interruption.
“The Humans Rights Council takes our discussions very seriously. We have proven ourselves in multiple instances where we discuss killing terrorists over lunch. Our efficiency is again exemplified in our swift conclusion of a resolution, thereby relieving India from a possible anarchy.”
“Our council is also proud to practice perfect equality. Regardless of the interest of larger economic countries, the smaller countries have banded together to successfully push through an unfriendly resolution during our first topic of discussion.”
“I got hit on by another delegate” ~ unknown
“Do you want to take a selfie?” ~ during unmoderated caucus
QUOTABLE QUOTES
UNESCAP: ECONOMICS CRASH COURSE, WACKY TIES AND LATE BLOOMERS
by Laura Goh Upon the discovery that UNESCAP only had the power to tackle mainly the economic effects of the terrorism-related crisis, the young delegates quickly crashcoursed themselves in macroeconomics led by the delegate of Japan aided by what sounded like GSCE A level Economics notes and Chair Celestine Lian who helped them Google "How to solve a recession".
The proactive council of UNESCAP produced a working paper incorporating their newly Googled knowledge, providing solutions to help the economy of India which is threatening to crash and take the world economy down with it as a result of the loss of investor confidence in it. This working paper proposed several controversial solutions such as the proposal of a devaluation of the Indian rupee and loans from other nations. A draft resolution was finally presented that focused on encouraging economic cooperation. Following that, debates were much "more passionate than that of the previous topic" as described by the pleasantly surprised chairs. The resolution on the crisis was quickly passed at 11.40am.
The council celebrated with an early lunch together.
Returning to the topic of migration and the delegate of China's flawed draft resolution, the council remained divided over the various clauses. Discussion flowed with many previously quiet delegates choosing to speak but did not present many new ideas, according to the chairs. However the delegates managed to pass the resolution which was no doubt comprehensive, to solve issues faced by migrants.
Relieved by the passing of the resolution for the topic of migration, the council moved lighter topics such as selection of Mr and Mrs UNESCAP who the council had voted for the before. The excitable delegate of India with his arsenal of wacky ties and the sweet but vocal Vietnamese delegate had endeared the council who voted them to be their representatives in the pagaent.
"You would be surprised how many good ideas there are in your head; you just have to open your mouth." - Chair Kinnari Gurnani Important preparations were made for tonight's social event, such as the catwalk of Mr UNESCAP who rehearsed his swagger down the isle to LMFAO's Sorry For Party Rocking and swung his jacket into the crowd/council/face of the Myanmese delegate.
The chairs hurried the council back into a more serious matter, the final topic of female empowerment. Surprisingly, the less outspoken delegates participated in General Speakers' List possessed fairly strong oratorical skills and rational opinions, despite having stayed silent for the past few debates. Perhaps proving what Chair Kinnari Gunarni said on the first day of SMUN true, "You would be surprised how many good ideas there are in your head; you just have to open your mouth."
A working paper from the delegate of China was presented quickly for the topic of female empowerment, despite the later protests of India who preferred to get a more holistic view of the issue before generating solutions. Passionate about the issue were the delegates of Malaysia and the Philippines who advocated education and microfinancial aid for women. Chair Lim De Jun excitedly commented, "this debate is much more interesting than previous debates" as moderated caucuses went at a rapid fire pace with delegates making insightful statements, from France's desire to focus on institutionalised sexism in the workforce to India's idea to use social engineering to change perceptions of women's roles in culture and religion.
However, time came for Socials and the excited delegates adjourned debates in favour of a night of fun at the Guild House.
HARRY POTTER NIGHT COUNCIL: MAGICAL EVENING IN THE INTERNATIONAL COUNCIL OF WIZARDS By Sridharan Sheeraja By day they pretend to be ordinary, regular Muggle delegates attending the SMUN conference, by night their true identities as witches, wizards and even goblins of the magical world is revealed. The location for the International Council of Wizards(ICW) conference to discuss the contentious issue of the infamous Lucius Malfoy and all his rather questionable activities in the human world took place on the evening of June 3, 2008, 10 years after Voldemort’s downfall. While the there was no concrete evidence that Lucius was doing something criminal in the Muggle World, his quick rise in wealth and power and his rather chummy behaviour with several of the Muggle World leaders made his motives rather suspicious.
As the members of the ICW walked into the session, more details about the exact nature of the crisis in the Muggle World awaited them in a newspaper report written for the Daily Prophet by Rita Skeeter. Within a span of a few days, prices of oil were spiralling out of control and financial markets were crashing. There was an earthquake in the Si Chuan Province in China that killed 70000 people. There were escalating military conflicts between Russia and Putin. There was world-wide panic and chaos in response to these events. Yet there was one common element that seemed to tie all these events together. The ex-eater of deaths, Mr Lucius Malfoy.
Upon receiving the newspaper report, all eyes turned toward the empty seat prominently positioned in the middle of the room, a seat reserved for Lucius Malfoy. The committee immediately asked the dais where Lucius Malfoy was and Chair Agrim Singh assured them that Lucius Malfoy would be coming along later but the council could begin discussing on what they could question him.
Angela Merkel, Minister of Magic and Chancellor for Germany jumped immediately and made a speech declaring her hate for both Putin and Malfoy expressing how the latter should be persecuted before he could cause more harm with his Grindelwaldian ideology where wizards rule over the non-magical people. Vladimir Putin, both Minister of Magic and President of Russia immediately followed up by making a passionate speech of how Lucius was not a criminal and should not be persecuted as there was no evidence to show Lucius Malfoy carrying out criminal activities. Perhaps too passionately because the council began to suspect that there was more to Putin’s and Malfoy’s relationship than a mere platonic friendship.
As the debate raged on, Chair Agrim Singh excused himself midway through the session and 5 minutes later, Mr Lucius Malfoy, considerably darker since we last saw him in the Harry Potter movie 8, showed up creating a stir. The council side tracked by potential juicy gossip, immediately wanted to know the nature of the relationship between Putin and him Malfoy certainly didn’t help the rumours , revealing that they spent almost everyday of the week together with Mondays spent “playing golf together”, Tuesdays spent ‘thinking about how to take over the world’ and Saturday spent ‘thinking about what to have for dinner on Sunday because on Sunday dinners are very important events’. However, he declined to
answer the more incriminating questions posed to him like “ How do you slither-in to Putin’s chamber of Secrets?” and “ Who was the more dominant one in the relationship?”
There was clearly a division of factions in the council, with Angela Merkel (Minister of Magic and Chanceller of Germany) barely able to keep herself from AvadaKedavraving both Malfoy and Putin and Harry Potter determined to set up a wizard equivalent of the NSA for Lucius to find out exactly what he was up to. Hatsune Yami, Japansese foreign minister however proved herself to be devout follower of Lucius referring to him as her lord and spewing constant insults at all “mudbloods” and “muggles” in the room while Queen of the Persian Matriachy, Banu Azar accused Lucius of murdering only female infants to create horcruxes.
After Lucius’s depature, the committee gathered in an unmoderated caucus to discuss what had been said when chair Agrim Singh returned and shortly after played a video that had just been captured by Muggle London’s security footage. The video revealed a gang of 'black cloaked flying people' (eaters of death??) appearing in Muggle London and wrecking havoc, setting buildings on flames and causing bridges to collapse. Shortly after, a new video update was released showing a severe earthquake ripping across the provinces in Beijing and showed traumatised Muggles running amok in fear. It seemed that the evil Mr Lucius Malfoy was back and back with a veangence, not so innocent after all.
This set off more quarrels between Putin and Merkel with Putin finally confirming the nature of his relationship with Malfoy accusing Merkel of “having an affair with Lucius as well!”. Time was running out and a resolution needed to be created fast
to prevent further destruction from being caused by Malfoy and his gang of black cloaked men.
The draft resolution was submitted by Raj Gopal, Indian Minister of Foreign Affairs and co-submitted by Merkel and Harry Potter by himself, representing himself separately from the United Kingdom and Minister of Magic Kingsley Shackletbott. Hmm…seems like there is trouble between the Golden Boy and his boss. Though if anyone is allowed to represent himself in the ICW, it probably should be the boywho-lived. He did save all of our asses back in 1998 by defeating Voldemort after all.
The draft resolution called for execution of the Puzzling Enigmatic Necromancy Investigation Society (hmm....) project to ensure that all suspicious magical activities are actively monitored and investigated including activities such as, but not limited to, people donning black cloaks flying in the skies , strange phenomenons such as earthquakes that occur for no apparent reason and missing babies of a particular gender . The resolution also called for the explaining of the strange recent phenomenon to Muggles by explaining that there were humans created with magical and technological powers that existed to save the world in times of crisis and that they could use magic to enchant machinery to help the world achieve unlimited resources and solve the central problem of economics.
After some discussion, the resolution finally passed and it seemed that the ICW had managed to at least mitigate the immediate effects of the crisis for now and stop flying “black cloaked people� from wrecking more havoc. However, it seemed that Lucius manage to evade capture and enjoy his freedom as of June 5, during the social night, Putin was seen grinning from ear-to ear having just had received two bouquets from his beloved.
Hatsune Yami, Japan’s foreign minister to Lucius Malfoy: “ My lord, how do you like your goblin’s cooked?” Lucius Malfoy: “Medium Rare-with a side of chips”
Another question brought up to Lucius during the interrogation was “ Who is the dominant one in your relationship with Putin?” While Lucius made no comment, Vladimir Putin was later heard muttering, “ I am Putin, I put in” .
QUOTABLE QUOTES
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