SNAP! Magazine Issue 1 by SNAP! Magazine Inc.

May/June

Arts & Lifestyle

Dahab, Egypt

Brand New spring/summer cheat sheet

Our cover model Quinn

Bernard Street

L am Radio Radio Amanda Mabro

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ON THE COVER An Interview with Michel Lam by Hannah Byrne Radio Radio: Chiac Rap on the Beach by Melanie Gallant Q&A with Amanda Mabro SNAP! Magazine’s Spring/Summer Fashion Cheat Sheet Where We’d Rather Be: Hannah Byrne travels to Dahab, Egypt. The SNAP! Street-Guide: Bernard INSIDE Contributors The Editor’s Letter What The Hell Is Snap! May/June Calendar: - Music - Culture - Just For Kicks Tech Page Food Free Stuff Horoscopes

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POINT OF VIEW Gamer’s Guide Movie Column I just… Gay Column Travel

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FASHION Spring/Summer Cheat Sheet shot by Karin Demeyer What’s Your Favourite Piece? Little Black Dress of the Issue Boutique Watch

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BEAUTY Runway Look Baby Skin Beauty Profile SNAP! Skin Do’s and Don’t’s

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ART & DESIGN My Metro Gallery Profile Edmund Lam May Flowers Found Art

STREET GUIDE This issue we feature beautiful Bernard, the east-west border between Mile End and Outremont spilling over with restaurants, cafes and boutiques for you to explore on your next stroll. MANGA A.J. Little is the first artist to try his hand at SNAP! Magazine’s ongoing ModManga series which explores the narratives of local artists through the subject of Montreal in the year 2020. Legal All contents of this magazine are copyrighted 2008 SNAP Inc. 1/4064 St. Laurent, Montreal, QC, H2W 1Y8 or third-party content providers. SNAP Inc. assumes no responsibility for content of advertisement. Reproduction of editorial is strictly prohibited without prior permission of SNAP Inc. SNAP will not hold itself responsible for unsolicited contributions. www.simonduhamel.com www.kdemeyer.galerie-photos.net

The beautiful smile gracing our cover comes to you from Montreal’s own Quinn Caruana. We asked her a few questions during this issue’s shoot with photographer Simon Duhamel. Favourite place to have a drink with friends? Stoops, steps, balconies, and/or curb-sides. What is your job? Creative director at the Conference at POP Montreal. Poster artist/silk screener for Blue Skies Turn Black When are you happiest? In the company of loved ones, singing, dancing...Simone, the most lovely dog in town. Best part about living in Montreal? Cultural diversity, street celebrations and walking down memory lanes. 5

Contributors Independent Publisher and Editor At Large: Shayl Prisk Graphic Design: Sarah Williams, Terry Stonefield Contributing Writers: Alexandre Beland-Bernard, Hannah Byrne, Roberto Cialdella, Melanie Gallant, AJ Little, Christina Vincelli Contributing Artists: Karin Demeyer, Simon Duhamel, Claudio Marzano, Nizar Shorbagi

Founders: Hannah Byrne and Shayl Prisk

Marketing and Communications: Hannah Byrne Web Editor: Hannah Byrne Web Director: Jeff Traynor SNAP! TV Directors: Alexandre LeBlanc and Julien Gregoire Gallery: Ariane Gregoire, Armance Brandenburg

Advertising Information: 514 576 7867 Offices: 4064 St Laurent Blvd, Suite 1, Montreal QC H2W 1Y8

www.snapme.ca info@snapme.ca

Printing: 1Milk2Sugars

What The Hell Is SNAP! SNAP! Magazine was created by two Australian girls equipped with not much more than their love for Montreal, a desire to do something creative, and a shared interest in magazines. Our aim is to produce a top quality arts and lifestyle magazine that will please and appeal to the young, active and savvy individuals living, working, studying and partying in Montreal. In support of and beside the magazine, SNAP! is also: An active web community www.snapme.ca ; A host to kick-arse parties and events; Sponsors of young artists and entrepreneurs; A few hard working kids trying to give and get in a bloody awesome city!

Some of the things that we feature in each issue of SNAP! Magazine include: A Street Guide to give you a low-down on exactly what lies at your feet when you take a stroll in the city. A ModManga, our own take on the Manga format featuring various local artists and their creative interpretations of the theme ‘Montreal in 2020.’ A calendar to give you a heads-up on music and culture, as well as some things to try, just for kicks. Profiles on the work, art, music, design, lifestyles and interests of Montrealers, as well as stories and columns by local writers with a tale to tell. Covers, fashion, beauty and general photography that showcases every-day local beauties living in Montreal. A mix of clean, modern and inventive design by some of Montreal’s best graphic designers with some hand typography thrown in - before the discipline dies out completely! Images from a selection of Montreal’s best photographers, among them award winning Simon Duhamel and up-and-coming Karin Demeyer. And, hopefully, a bit of fun and colour as you gallivant about this lovely town we call Montreal! We look forward to bringing you many more issues down the line. Until then, enjoy our first one! 7

BRAND NEW Opening to a blank page. Sheets fresh from the dryer. A new baby. An empty canvas. Sneakers still dazzling white, with that sweet plastic smell. Spring. SNAP! This magazine is the culmination of over a years worth of toiling. It was fun, tiring, exciting, stressful. We have made new friends. Found new opportunities. Discovered new talents. With this issue we hope to introduce you to a different magazine aesthetic, to a new, funny and smart approach to magazine writing, and to some places, things and faces that you are not yet acquainted with. Above all, we hope you enjoy reading something put together with you and your interests in mind. We want this to be the best free magazine out there, something that you can pore over and get inspiration from or just have a laugh with. So here goes! SP. What did you think? info@snapme.ca www.snapme.ca 8

My Metro

Every month we ask a photographer to capture a Metro Moment. Submit your photo to info@snapme.ca

Photograph by Tenzin Namgyal

I jus t .... turned 26 By Charisma Cardigan

It started happening slowly… going to the store with no make-up on, opening a savings account, buying myself shoes that wouldn’t give me severe injuries at the end of a night’s wear. Yes, saying I am 26 makes me balk just a bit and I do regularly go on grey-hair hunts when I look in changing room mirrors; but I also find myself going about my affairs with more wisdom and caring less about things that, four or five years ago, were a really big deal to me. Now my boyfriend can talk about his exgirlfriends without the hairs on my neck sticking up. And at the end of the day when I look a bit worse for wear I can throw back a drink with some of my friends and not care about who is looking and what I’m wearing. One thing I have noticed about getting older is that I have become kinder to myself. Growing up we are all a bit too hard on ourselves and put emphasis on all the things we can’t do. After 26 years of that it gets tiring. It also becomes unnatural. You hear the negative voice in the back of your head and you realize 12

it has been playing on a loop for so long that the tape has become redundant. My friends love me for all my quirky qualities - the funny voices I do, the little gifts I give them, the good food I cook and the way I listen well to their thoughts and ideas. Those things are much more important than the little failings I’ve given myself s**t about for so many years. When the old tape plays, oftentimes I find myself doing a mental shrug… I just can’t be bothered caring anymore. As long as I get to be around cool people, can try new things, and have a good laugh every once in a while, all that other stuff just takes a back seat. Of course I had to be that shy 15 year old and that insecure 20 year old to get to the fairly content, fairly confident and very grateful 26 year old that I am. After all, I made it to this age reasonably unscathed and there are so many great things still ahead of me. So here’s to birthdays, getting older and wiser and to turning off that tape and listening to the people who see you the way you actually are! !

FOCUS ON USB FLASH DRIVES By Alexandre Beland-Bernard

hy limit a USB key’s function to a strictly work-related one? Some designers asked themselves this question and came up with versions that are more playful, stylish or inventive than the usual suspects. Mimbot, by Mimoco Here is one kind that feeds of the ever present demand for cute toy gadgets. All of the Mimbot USB keys represent a fairly abstract character or animal of some descript, even if they do look like a warped spaceship from certain angles. It’s a good buy for whimsical value and one can’t help but be impressed by the model that boasts a Halo license. I always wondered what Master Chief had under his helmet...

Flash Bag, by Dima Komissarov What if you could tell how much data a USB flash drive is currently holding just by looking at it? Russian designer Komissarov has come up with a unique solution. His version of the USB key inflates gradually depending on the amount of content it’s storing. Several designs have been put forward, ranging from an orange balloon to a licensed Spongebob Squarepants version. Unfortunately for us the Flash Bag is still in production phase… Let’s hope someone picks up the project! Swiss Memory USB, by Victorinox Swiss company Victorinox seem to hold quite a stranglehold over the multifunction gadget market. With such domination comes stagnation, and as a result we have seen very little new from these giants in a while. What more could you add to such a device, do you ask? Enter portable flash memory! Set on one side of the device, the USB plug slides into the casing with, as usual, a very satisfying snap. ! 13

GAMER’S GUIDE By Alexandre Beland-Bernard

Assassin’s Creed Available for PCs since April 14th

Back in November, gamers expecting to take the role of the assassin Altair in an 11th century Holy Land via their PCs were disappointed when Ubisoft Montreal made the decision to release it only for the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. This strategy paid off for Ubisoft in regard to the game’s monster sales figures, although the reviews were generally lukewarm. Since then, developers have used time and bucks to port this console experience to PCs, and thankfully the new version of Assasins Creed manages to feel at least a bit fresh despite the months that have gone by. Several new missions have been introduced (such as escort, or rooftop race challenge) and there are definite graphical improvements for those with sizeable graphic cards (of the DX10 variety). Nonetheless, as with the November release of the same game, it all manages to fall a bit short. After 2 or 3 hours of play a typical gamer will have seen everything this venture has to offer. Repetition is not a valid way of extending a game’s playtime – developers take note. Regardless of these points, one must still admire the work that was put into creating this game, as the graphics, even months after the initial release, still blow mostly every other game out of the water, and the act of scaling random buildings has never been made more exhilarating. Altair’s PC adventures will set you back a good $49.99. If you have never played it on consoles, it might just be worth your hard-earned cash. Then again, those already familiar with the Xbox or PS versions might be better off waiting for the sequel, which Ubisoft is sure to dish out in a couple years.

SPOTLIGHT: The Montreal Game Industry The past few months have seen a number of new releases from Montreal’s two biggest videogame developers, Ubisoft and Electronic Arts (EA). Here is the lowdown on what you might have missed in 2008.

Lost: Via Domus (Ubisoft Montreal, 2008)

Lost, the game, puts you in control of Elliott, a new character among the television regulars. Set during the first two seasons of the show, gamers can live the traumatic events included therein, but for a price. Both Lost fans and newcomers are likely to find fault in many aspects of this game, unfortunately, starting with the voice-overs (most of them are not recorded by the actual actors) and the lack of real game-play on the island. Despite its potential, this is pretty much a game to rent unless you are a true fan. Lost: Via Domus, developed for Microsoft’s Xbox 360, Sony’s PlayStation 3 and PC.

Army of TWO (EA Montreal, 2008)

Army of TWO pits veteran mercenaries Salem and Rios against a slew of terrorist foes in real-world war zones. Despite the controversy this game might pick up with regards to its subject matter (in particular the concept of private military corporations), the product is actually very light on actual content

and (predictably) rather heavy on just shooting things. If you like a good shoot ‘em up with a partner, grab this one; if you’re a solo gamer or one who likes going online for massive matches, you are better off trying another game in the overcrowded shooter genre. Ethics be damned, co-op play is quite fun. Army of TWO, developed for Microsoft’s Xbox 360 and Sony’s PlayStation 3.

Rainbow Six Vegas 2 (Ubisoft Montreal, 2008)

The original Rainbow Six Vegas might have been mistaken as a cheap attempt to capitalize on a gap in the then-starting-up market of next-gen consoles. Yet Ubi Montreal managed to deliver what is still today one of the best tactical shooter games around. The second instalment in the series manages to improve the concept on all fronts, while adding in enough content to justify every penny you’ll have to dish out for the sequel. Some of the material (notably graphical) is being recycled, but who’d complain after staining lottery machines and poker tables with terrorist brain matter? Rainbow Six Vegas 2, developed for Microsoft’s Xbox 360, Sony’s PlayStation 3 and PC. ! 15

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N.E.R.D. The coolest guys in funk/rock, and possibly the world, Pharrell, Chad and Shay will be in Montreal May 20 for the Glow in the Dark Tour also featuring Kanye West, Rihanna and Lupe Fiasco. N.E.R.D. will be promoting their longawaited new album titled N.3.R.D, the only release from the band since Fly or Die in 2004.

than a sweeping glance. Full of character and energy, this trio is one of the more famous bands in the ‘billy scene with a huge following in California and a strong fan base across North America. Tiger Army headlined the Warped Tour last year as well as releasing their latest album Music From Regions Beyond, which received positive reviews. Catch Nick 13 and the boys May 10 at Club Soda.

Tiger Army Music that falls into a category like ‘psychobilly’ is always worth a look, but L.A.’s own Tiger Army deserves more

Panic At The Disco Metropolis hosts this big name emo group as they make their grand return to Montreal May 13. Expect theatrical

performance and glittery sets from the popular band as they promote their new album Pretty.Odd. The Kills Anglo-American Indie Rock duo The Kills have been getting lots of hype in 2008, in particular by being featured in Nylon magazine and having their music played on a promo for Gossip Girls. It kind of sucks when good music sells out but we can’t help but be happy for the duo who have done a solid job marketing themselves to the public. To see if their live act still stands up, you can catch them on May 4 at Cabaret. Alicia Keys Returning for the As I Am tour, Alicia Keys will be playing at the Bell Centre June 3 to promote her new album of the same name. Considering the album’s first single ‘No One’ was number one for 10 weeks and is already 3 times platinum, this show won’t have trouble selling tickets. Teitur Little known to many, Teitur is a singer songwriter based in Stockholm. He is set to release his new album The Singer which may just make him a big star. Poetry and Aeroplanes, his album which surfaced in 2003, gained Teitur some industry interest as well as popular play on radio and film soundtracks. Nonetheless this Faroe Island native is still a relative unknown. Playing at Sala Rosa May 9, this may be your last chance to say you knew him before he got famous.

OLD FAVES The Cure Go on, we all have our own Cure guilty pleasure! So what is it- ‘Friday, I’m in Love’? Maybe you are more of a ‘Love Cats’ kind of person… Whatever Cure classics take your fancy, May 14 is the date to enjoy them live as the band tours Montreal (a visit originally scheduled for 2007 but pushed back until now). For the record, I was always more of a ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ kind of kid… Eric Clapton Old Slowhand Clapton is playing at the Bell Centre May 28, one of only two performances scheduled in Canada for his 2008 tour. You can’t be lukewarm about a guy with a life story like his- we just read about it on Wikipedia. Ever the show-man and king of acoustics, the concert should be killer. Rush Love them or hate them, you gotta applaud this Canadian rock group for plugging on and helping to influence later generations of North American music as varied as Metallica, The Smashing Pumpkins, Primus and Dream Theatre. Playing June 12 at the Bell Centre.

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CURTAIN CALL Don’t tell me you won’t feel pretty shmick when you get to tell all your artsy pals about the new play you saw over the weekend. Instant hipster cred! This May and June there is some cool stuff happening in theatres around Montreal, in particular Centaur’s Forever Yours, Mary-Lou which has never before been shown in English and is one of Tremblay’s best films about life and family in Montreal circa 1970. Also at Centaur is Maddy Heisler, a WW2 drama set in Nova Scotia. Madame Butterfly, the classic Puccini opera, is also playing at Opera de Montreal in three acts during May for those who really want to take things up a notch. www.centaurtheatre.com www.operademontreal.com IT’S SPACE-TIME However obscure it may seem to some, the third international conference to be held on the topic of space-time, hosted by Montreal’s very own Concordia University, is a pretty big deal and marks the 100th anniversary of Minkowski’s “Space and Time” lecture given in 1908. Topics will include, among other things, the impact of Minkowski’s space-time theory on modern physics and the implications of recent physical theories for the 18

beginning and end of time. The academic event will also feature a public lecture for the nerds among us who get off on topics like quantum gravity and general relativity. Sponsored by Concordia’s stellar philosophy department the lecture takes place on Sunday June 15 at 7.30pm. Check out the link and click ‘conferences’ for more details: www.spacetimesociety.org PRET-A-PORTFOLIO Sid Lee sponsors Montreal Portfolio Night, now in its 6th year, as a way to encounter and promote new talent in Montreal. An international project, ‘Portfolio Night’ is geared toward designers and art directors with an advertising bent. The event allows students and young professionals to meet, network with and pick the brains of some of the best advertising pros out there. Tickets must be bought in advance but the evening (starting at 7pm on Thursday, May 8th) is open to anyone with interest and a portfolio. More details and FAQ at www.portfolionight.com ROAD-TRIP Montreal’s own Festival Transameriques celebrates contemporary forms of dance and theatre emerging in cultures across the world. Multilingual, hybrid and festive, FTA show-cases major artists and sponsors budding talent by providing workshops, round-tables and debates for the exchange of ideas and methods. Major focus rests on the work of choreographers, writers and directors and events include stage theatre, choreographed dance and live performance. See any number of contemporary international works hailing from Brussels to Rio de Janeiro to Vancouver. May 22June 5. www.fta.qc.ca

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st u J K icks GRAND PRICKS Yeah this ‘festival’ often brings the world’s worst to our lovely city every June but it also pumps a crazy amount of money into our economy and on a hot Summer day it can be pretty fun to get hammered on Crescent and watch all the dorks with their checkered flags get a sun-burn before they fly back to whereever it is they come from. June 6-8. www.grandprix.ca FIRED UP From June 21st L’International des Feux Loto-Quebec will be returning to light up the skyline of Montreal. While La Ronde is still the best spot to get caught up in the spectacle and have some Summer night fun, there are thousands of other great vantage points to view the fireworks that are put on display by various countries in competition for the grand prize. First to go to bat is France, followed by Italy on the 28th. www.internationaldesfeuxloto-quebec.com NOT SO SECRET GARDENS When it’s warm the hot city pavement can seem so rough and urban. If you’re dying to see some green there is always Montreal’s Botanical Gardens, which are host to a number of events throughout the Spring and Summer. Over the weekend of May 23-25, The Gardens will be exploring new trends in plant architecture and the use of shape in landscape design. Plants are on sale with work-

shops and craftspeople to help paint your thumb green. www2.ville.montreal.qc.ca/jardin MUCH MUTEK The Mutek Festival is looking toward its 9th year and we are yet again applauding Quebec arts funding for bringing Canada this kick-arse event. Mutek delivers a mix of the world’s contemporary electronic extraordinaires to our parks and venues for 5 days of music, digital art and fun in the sun. Last year’s show featured Kode 9, The Mole and Mathew Dear and this year some highlights will include Radio Slave, Carl Craig, Kid Koala, Knifehandchop, Nôze and DJ Olive. As always Piknik Electronik will be the place to chill in the sun over the last weekend of May. www.mutek.org J’TAIME LE ‘TAMS Montreal’s lazy Summer favourite Tamtams will be returning early May to indulge your inner woodland nymph. Get out there and frolick, people-watch, play the drums and catch some rays. It’s something like a weekly Woodstock or Kibbutz. The 80, 535 and 129 buses all make stops at the site, right on Parc between Pins and Mont-Royal. Every Sunday around 1pm.

Gallery Profile

Parisian Laundry

Never has St. Henri seemed so cool. During and since the restoration of a 1930’s warehouse on St. Antoine, once a vast laundry plant owned by Nabisco and now aptly named Parisian Laundry by the gallery owner behind it, the neighborhood has come to lay claim to a surging art crowd. At the forefront of this budding and creative district- referred to by some as ‘South Central’- is Parisian Laundry, a 3 storey contemporary art gallery and space. Focused and calm, the team (owner Nick Tedeschi, director

Jeanie Riddle and their assistants) have created a haven of bare wood floors, wide open space and floor to ceiling windows in which to catch one’s breath and leisurely view a variety of art pieces and installations. Although day-visits are welcome (the gallery is open Tuesday-Saturday, 12-5pm) the space really shines (and comes to life) at any one of the gallery’s famed ‘openings’ when the immense and sparse three levels buzz with the best and brightest crowds in Montreal.

Some artists Riddle has her eye on right now: Anselm Reyle Silvie Fleury Rachel Harrison Lisa Sigal Gedi Sibony John Beech Kehinde Wiley Kalup Linzy Joëlle Tuerlinckx

The best thing about your job: Working with artists. Getting people excited about art. Drinking amazing wine. The worst: Not having enough time in the day to work on my own practice! Tell us something we didn’t know: “I lived in San Francisco for 4 years.”

Gallery director Jeanie Riddle and the recruiting process she undertakes is guided by a keen interest in - and practice of - contemporary art. Riddle leans toward minimalist and pop art, and is intrigued by any work that touches upon and crosses into a tension between “the real and the artificial”. Some artists selected for exhibition include Janet Werner, Bill Smith, Rick Leong, Radiq Brousil, Jennifer Lefort, Theresa Sapergia and the installation trio BGL. Each artist or team represents some kind of intent to challenge and provoke, be it through a friction of styles, a question asked or messages subtly but definitely

mixed. Parisian Laundry’s last exhibit, a collection of oil paintings by Janet Werner, embodies this style with vivid flair and colour. Werner’s large scale pieces depicting for the most part young women on kitsch backgrounds, are set in lush strokes and pop with colour. The almost lurid quality of the paint a nd the cutesy beauty of the subjects give the pieces an unexpected eeriness, and an undertone that is hard to place. The current exhibit features Nathan J. Wasserbauer, a New York native, and Valerie Blass, an artist based in Montreal. When asked to describe any longterm visions for her work at Parisian Laundry, Jeanie Riddle makes reference to her experiences in other cities such as New York, London and Berlin. “I want to make Montreal more of a cultural destination.” The presence of a permanent and robust artistic infrastructure including international fairs and festivals - is the key to turning a cultural city like Montreal into a mecca like New York or London. In light of this Riddle continues to work at bringing the best and most edgy contemporary art to Montreal and to build relationships between gallery owners and artists abroad. Riddle looks forward to a time when Montreal is one of the steps on an elite artistic circuit, rubbing shoulders with the best there is to offer in the contemporary art world.

On her IPOD: B Boy Anthem - Dobie I Was A Lover - TV On The Radio Sympathy For The Devil - Rolling Stones Heart Broken - T2 Ft. Jodie House of Suffering - Bad Brains Rock With You - Michael Jackson The Dialogs - Radeq Brousil’s band Frontin’- Pharrell Williams Feat. Jay-Z

Dream destination: “Dubai - it embodies that collision between the real and artificial which I keep coming back to.” Photograph by Lorien Raux

absolu t ely MABRO lous Amanda Mabro, the disarming front of the self-titled band Amanda Mabro and the Cabaret Band is also the reluctant hero behind The WAWA Show, the annual celebration of female artists in Montreal that is now in its fourth year. WAWA, an acronym for We Are Women Artists, is a project led by the desire for female artists to support and show respect for each other and to network the talents of independent men and women in Montreal. Mabro, no stranger to success herself, has gained national interest for her unique cabaret-jazz pop/indie rock style, and had the pleasure of opening for bands such as Franz Ferdinand, The Snitches, Elevator, and Arcade Fire. How does your own experience as a female musician affect your approach to the WAWA project? I find myself putting a lot of focus on doing things in a really transparent way. I want everyone involved to feel like they are part of the process and part of a supportive community that is positively charged. In my experience, there are far too many women working against each other as opposed to banding together. It seems like an exhausting way to spend time and energy. It’s almost as if some people feel like they are in some sort of race to win a non-existent prize when really they should be focusing on being better artists and sharing their work with others. I try to involve women that I feel have strong personalities and are not so preoccupied with what other people think. Has your development as a female artist in Montreal been aided notably by other women? Yes, in many ways. My relationships with women have helped me to see that we all share very similar insecurities

and aspirations. The lovely people I have met that have brought more good into my life are the ones that have made me want to be better and to give more. Who are some of your role models? Artists that really stand out for me are Ella Fitzgerald and Wayne Coyne. What are your aims for WAWA in the future? I’m not certain. Every year I get roped into doing it again! I’m fairly amused by my own resistance to produce a show I seem so proactive about. It’s mostly because it takes over my life for at least 3 months every time. I suppose in an ideal world I’d like for the show to continue growing, potentially creating opportunities for more fabulous women. There have even been talks about making it an international show. One year at a time

and we’ll see. Right now I’m happy to keep things on a modest level in terms of growth and visibility. What are the positive things about being an artist in Montreal? It’s a great place to develop as an artist. The rent is cheap, the city is charming in all its beauty and deterioration, and our population is wonderfully diverse. I’ve met so many artists over the years that have moved here specifically for these reasons. Being born and raised here I think I’ve often taken my hometown for granted. It’s interesting to see the city through other people’s eyes. For the

most part I’ve always been content living here, but I really fell in love with my city again when I realized how unique it is to people who aren’t from here. Sort of like falling in love with a movie again when you’ve seen it a million times. Where would you like to see yourself in 10 years? Still singing and performing in some capacity. This year’s WAWA show will be taking place over three nights at three venues, Check www.thewawashow.com for more dates and details. !

www.edmundlam.com

Edmund Lam Edmund Lam is a graphic designer who dabbles in poster art for friends and independent companies, as well as for his own band, Hexes & Ohs. We took a look at some of the work he produced for Amanda Mabro and the Cabaret Band and asked him about the processes behind his illustration. How did you get into designing posters for events? It started off with fulfilling my own band’s need for show posters. I studied fine arts and design and didn’t know anybody else we trusted to do them. It basically spread from there… friends would like my posters and ask me to help them out, then tell their friends, and so on… Where do your ideas come from? Everyday things. Like what I’m having for lunch that day, my cats, an ad on a billboard or something from a book. Which artists do you admire or get inspiration from? My inspiration comes mostly from pop culture, but I really like the work of many fellow poster designers like Seripop, Jack Dylan and Michael Deforge.

Is your work an even mix of hand and digital illustration or do you lean toward one in particular? I’d say it’s more hand-drawn than computer-based. I start off on paper, sketch out a general idea, hand-draw all the different elements separately, and finally assemble it all on the computer, just so I have the freedom to move things around. It does depend on the poster though, some are more digital than others. How do you start your day? I get up and go to work; I’m a designer at a communications firm. How do you end your day? Most likely working on a poster or a website, with a cup of tea. What’s the most played song on your Ipod? I’ve been obsessed with the song Dirty Work by Steely Dan, and also Burning by Whitest Boy Alive. What is one thing you couldn’t live without? ! The internet. 25

Electro-rap on the beach??? y’ faut checker ça out man!

Donna Summers “On the Radio”, nerdy glasses, flat-brimmed caps, and a caribou sweater knitted by someone else’s grandma. Although they have been compared to The Streets, Omnikrom, Dizee Rascal and TTC, these self proclaimed “Lo-res Hi-fi jig-nerdcore posers” are without a doubt broadcasting their own frequency. They might not win the swimsuit competition, but they definitely steal the talent show. By Melanie Gallant 27

Call it Hip-Hop, Call it Rap: Chiac Rhymes are Putting Acadia on the Map Their rhetoric is part history and part hype, but you know the Canadian music scene is getting interesting when Radio Radio jumps on stage and starts rapping in chiac, the Frenglish dialect common to Moncton, New-Brunswick. No strangers to the Montreal music scene, Radio Radio rocked fans for the third time on April 30th proving that Acadia is young, urban, and alive. Composed of two electro music junkies, DJ Tekstyle and Lekx, and two rappers, Jacobus and Timo, these hiphoppers have gained much attention for pairing Donna Summers inspired

back-beats with home-grown lyrics such as “Check la brume sous les streetlights” (check out the fog under the street lights) and “On va vous montrez comment tymer” (we’re gonna show you how to party). They have a dynamite presence on stage, but with all antics aside, what sets the band apart from other franco rap acts? Spoken for the most part in southeast New Brunswick, chiac is a hybrid mix of English and Acadian French (French coloured with nautical terms and older, out of use French words), one of a kind in Canada. For rapper Jacobus the deci-

sion to perform in chiac came naturally. “I live everyday in chiac. Why should my music be different? I come from Nova Scotia where Francophones are a minority. It’s hard to preserve a language but it is possible. Our [the Acadian] case is a little different. We are bilingual. We speak both French and English, and in the case of chiac, we speak them both at the same time. But we’re proud of this. Radio Radio gives me the opportunity to help in not only the conservation, but also the promotion of my language and culture.” Although Radio Radio’s choice of chiac is not political in itself, DJ Tekstyle, a.k.a. Gabriel Malenfant, a 28 year old from Moncton, believes they are “showing young people that it’s possible to create in a language that is their own, that chiac music can be just as cool as the mainstream stuff.” The presence of chiac in Acadian pop-culture dates back to the Acadian revival of the 60’s and 70’s, brought about by the Universite de Moncton’s offering, in 1966, of courses in Acadian folklore and cultural studies. Malenfant, an avid fan of Neil Young when growing up, nonetheless recognizes the debt owed to earlier artists such as Guy Arsenault, Paul Bossé, Gérald LeBlanc and 1755, who included chiac as an important part of their collective identity. Nonetheless, “the situation is not ideal, as close to seventy five percent of Acadian bands in Moncton still choose to perform in English.” Instead of conforming, the band is looking to export its unique Frenglish electro-rap wherever they can. Fortunately Radio Radio received excellent reviews for their PopMontreal show last fall, when they caught the eye of Montreal based Bonsound Productions.

“It was love at first sight when I saw Radio Radio’s performance at the PopMontreal festival last fall” confesses producer Yanick Masse. “The accent is very charming and the dialect distinguishes them from other bands.”

Chiac? J’va parker mon char. (I’m going to park my car.) (Je vais garer ma voiture) Worry pas. (Don’t worry) (Ne t’inquiète pas) J’va essayer de coaxer Alphonse pis Euclide pour qu’y viennent brosser avant la hockey game de soir. (I’m going to try to convince Alfonce and Euclide to come drinking before the hockey game tonight.) (Je vais essayer de persuader Alphonse et E.) Viens watcher un movie chenou. Ça va ête right la fun. (Come watch a movie at my place. It’ll be right fun.) (Passe chez nous voir un film. On va bien s’marrer.) Ej chepas quosse tu parles about. (I don’t know what you’re talking about.) (Je ne sais pas de quoi tu veux parler.) Moi chu acadien(ne)! (I’m Acadian!) (Je suis Acadien(ne)!) J’aime ta jupe la way qu’a hang. (I like the way your skirt hangs.) (J’aime vraiment l’effet de ta jupe sur toi)

What’s on the Radio Radio? What do these young punks with big mics set their dial to? Their influences are numerous and vary from Johnny Cash to the Wutang Clan, to paying tribute to Donna Summers in their most recent release “On the Radio Radio”. Having spent some time studying in France, Malenfant was also influenced by French rap. “It was weird, when I started rapping in French what came out sounded all f*$%* up, like I was from Marseilles or something. Then with time it became more natural and my Acadian came through.” The key, says Malenfent, is to strike a balance between a traditional identity and some kind of originality. “Imagine that at first we wanted to call ourselves The Acadians” said Malenfant laughing hysterically. “We went from something so closed -that said it all, that said too much- to a name that evokes liberty and democracy. Compared to television, which dictates, radio is all about imagination and freedom. For DJ Lekx, the one who suggested the name in the first place, the word radio is special because it is recognized all over the world. Oddly, their first EP released earlier this year was called “Tele Tele”. But it’s not all just air-waves for these guys. Malenfant, a graduate of the Univeristy of Moncton, has more solid and long-term goals. Instrumental in the creation of acadieurbaine.net, a virtual centre of expression and discovery for Acadians all over the world, Malenfent’s site seeks to “paint a just picture of modern Acadia, a place that is vibrant and in full bloom”. It contains forums, a 30

digital art gallery, and various texts written by home-grown artists. A database of contemporary local talent is also in the works. Bonsound Productions is counting on this grassroots originality to propel their first album (released April 1st) to the top. “I want the guys to be real… I don’t want to change them. They have a sound that can take them all the way to Tokyo.”

Thanks for the Free Cruise In the end, Radio Radio gives fans a fresh alternative to tales of pimps and bitches. Their music not only contains hip-hoppin’ beats and lyrics, but also mixes history and folklore in for good taste. For example, the band often uses a short rap sequence called “Thanks pour la free cruise’’ to wrap up their shows. The sequence refers to the Great Deportation the Acadians suffered at the hands of the British in 1755, when thousands were exiled at sea. This sequence successfully blends new and old; the music is young and fresh, but the message is enduring: “Thank you for deporting us. We are stronger and more unified than ever because of it.” The satire may be lost on some, but hopefully many will learn something about the Acadian people while they bust a move. Their debut album and music video, Cliché Hot, was released on April 1st. Radio Radio is Facebookfriendly and has a Myspace at www.myspace.com/laradioradio. So hé, il faut checker ça out man!

M i c h e lam

Front-man and heart of the rising Montreal folk-rock band, LAM, Michel got whimsical with us as we asked him about his musical roots and the creative processes behind his work. When did you first get into music? I started playing the guitar with my father when I was five. When I was six I began going to a music school where I learnt the piano and cello.I started my first band when I was 14 and I just loved writing music. I’m a musician and it’s the only thing that I know how to do... It’s the only thing that I can do naturally. Do you have a process for writing music? I write in bits and pieces, depending on the song. I write a lot for my friend’s short films and for these I sit down and really work on it. With my own work, it has to come from a desire or a longing. It starts from something natural, maybe from messing around with my guitar and then it slowly builds into a song. A lot of songwriters really push themselves and I think it’s not always for the best.

When did you write While Escaping? Most of it was written two years ago through university. My songs are usually built on characters based on people around me. Now when I play the album I try to find a way to retell certain stories. At the moment we have a great band and it’s more about how we perform live; I think we bring something to the songs live that isn’t on the album. Is there one song that is most meaningful to you? Probably A Dusty Melody. The first loop plays over and over. I wrote it for my parents so it’s kind of personal for me. What do your parents think of your music? My mother is at all my shows out of maternal love but for my father it’s different. He knows that I’m there because of him. You’re there because of him? Well he taught me how to play the guitar and I grew up listening to his record collection. My dad fought in the Vietnam war and he had listened to a lot of American broadcasts out there. As a result he had a lot of 60s and 70s rock and folk

like Bob Dylan, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones and Simon and Garfunkel. Do you still listen to these guys? Not really. I still listen to Dylan and the Beatles. What are some bands that you are listening to at the moment? I’m working on the soundtrack of my film so I’m listening to a lot of classical music at the moment – Debussy, Satsi, Schubert as well as M. Ward and Forever. M. Ward is incredible. Post-War is gorgeous and so well written. Are there musicians that have really influenced you? There is a Vietnamese songwriter Trinh Cong Son. I was in Vietnam in 2002 shooting a documentary and I found a rare recording where he plays acoustic guitar and his voice is something rare. It’s folk at its best and it was music that really influenced me at that time. Does being a filmmaker affect your approach to music? Writing music is kind of like constructing a film. You have the texture, the lyrics and how the music should affect these.

On the album, I played most of the songs and I had a very specific idea of what I wanted and how it would come together. Then again, I don’t know how much being a filmmaker actually influences the music...maybe, maybe not... What are you working on at the moment? I am editing a documentary that I shot. It follows three children over a year in the Eastern Townships. They actually go to the music school that I attended. The film shows how music opens them up to something; it helps them to love going to school which was the same for me when I was a child. I’m also working on a few songs at the moment but not enough to release. How do you find the music scene in Montreal? There are so many musicians out there and it really is a great time for music. There are lots of things going on, so many ideas and if you want to find an

opinion, you have to decide for yourself. You get to take things from everywhere and that’s pretty unique. Dream scenario, where are you in 5 years? Opening for Wilco! (laughs). If I could just make music then I would do that but I would really love to open for Wilco. I want to put out a new record in five years, something that I’m really proud of. Your album has just been re-released under a label, what does this mean for LAM? It means the album is available across Quebec and if all goes well it should be across the country in a few months. Photographs taken by Julien Fontaine !

Filmy Residue

Words By: AJ Little

Artwork By: Claudio Marzano

www.claudiomarzano.com

Of all the things I have done, the most fondly recollected never occurred: being besieged by werewolves in the Yorkshire Moors, traversing the Canadian Rockies as an orphaned baby bear and desperately living in Mink Stole hysterics. I was tossed in to a dim-lit theater before the placenta was wiped from my face, spending my formative years at the cinema. Any free time and money was spent crisscrossing the city to find the most affordable movie experience. Whether renting videos or camping out in what are now closed repertory houses, my cinema appetite was insatiable. As such, my psyche has become intertwined with the picture show. In particular there are three films which are embedded in my subconscious: The Bear, American Werewolf in London and Desperate Living.

CONTINUED...

I was never a crier; both my parents can attest to it. The first time I can remember crying about something was when I saw a movie called The Bear. L’Ours - in its original French release tells the story of a baby bear traversing the British Columbia forestry alone after huge rocks crush his mother. His refusal to leave her side is eventually interrupted by a passing butterfly. However the maternal bludgeoning was a little too much for my four year-old heart to take, and I sobbed uncontrollably, until the baby bear came to some semblance of safety as the ward of a giant grizzly. When I was in second grade, my school organized a showing of the movie in the gymnasium. There was a dense smell of burnt buttered popcorn as we sat on exercise mats on the gym floor. Although older, I still shed a tear in the second act when the bear’s mother dies. It seemed my diminutive heart still could not handle the orphaning. This out-burst earned me the long-lasting sobriquet Gay-Jay. This clever pun on my name went on until certain students were expelled for their constant use of it. Funnily, I was never offended; I didn’t know what it meant.

“I made a considerable attempt at realism by rubbing myself in Vaseline and coffee grinds to imply that I was growing a thick hide of jet-black hair.” 38

Friday nights were always held in high esteem. I would typically take a disco nap (a mid-afternoon nap, with the intention of staying up late), and then go to see the usually horrific late show. I would always rejoice when a werewolf picture was shown. I loved, with equal measure, each of the bestial manifestations acted out by the likes of Oliver Reed, Lon Chaney and Robert Picardo. My absolute favourite of this genre is An American Werewolf in London. I watched this movie with the regularity of a train schedule, day and night, sometimes back to back. After my first veiwing of it, I decided it apt to tell everyone in the schoolyard that I was a werewolf and that once the moon was full they had better watch out. In my defense I made a considerable attempt at realism by rubbing myself in Vaseline and coffee grinds to imply that I was growing a thick hide of jet-black hair. This resulted in me looking more like a shiny Elvis crossbred with a hobo impersonating Henry Fonda. An American Werewolf in London was the first horror movie I saw with any sort of fright to it. In being of only diminutive age I had been relegated to the numerical meanderings of The Count on Sesame Street. I have been a horror fan ever since.

John Waters has always been my hero. If gay and in the autumn of my years, I would surely pitch woo. The early films he made, affectionately named ‘the trash trilogy’, became my measure for most friendships. This was especially

“The plot revolves around a mentally ill, leg braced suburban housewife named Peggy GraveL. She, with the help of her morbidly obese ethnic cleaning lady Griselda, smothers her husband to death.” true of the third film in the trilogy, Desperate Living. The plot revolves around a mentally ill, leg braced suburban housewife named Peggy Gravel (Mink Stole). She, with the help of her morbidly obese ethnic cleaning lady Griselda (Jean Hill) smothers her husband to death. Now on the lam, they end up in Mortville, a place which we are told is a singular destination for those with excessive mortification. A fairy tale shantytown, Mortville is ruled by Queen Carlotta (Edith Massey) and populated by characters such as Mole McHenry, a gender dysmorphic lesbian wrestler who is hiding out in Mortville for killing an opponent, and Muffy Saint Jacques, who killed her dope addled teenage babysitter by putting her head in dog food. The plot unravels as the unwashed miscreants of Mortville decide that Carlotta’s rule (complete with royal guards who incidentally look like Scorpio Rising extras), must come to an end after the plot to kill her subjects is discovered. Queen Carlotta is over thrown and feasted on like a Christmas ham. Aside from the bizarre scenarios in Desperate Living, the lexicon of the movie astonished me, and got me in a lot of trouble. Often I would write the dialogue in bold letters on every available surface

like an obsessive graphomaniac. I was suspended from school for scribbling a quote on the margin of my grade school French test. It was hardly my fault; I was young, impressionable and the film was just too good.

The cinema has always been prevalent in my day to day life, and The Bear, An American Werewolf in London and Desperate Living are all films I have seen countless times. Each of these movies elicited a response from me that I have not felt before or since. !

Fancy Food Well I am pretty cultured, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s true! *cough* But for those who like to lash out and try something new and exotic once in a while, our list should present you with at least a few delicious options!

L atkes

E Damame

Mazurka, 64 rue Prince-Arthur east.

Available at Isakaya, 3469 Ave du Parc.

There are French fries and then there are latkes, a different and more decadent way to enjoy your fried potatoes. Thin pancakes with a golden crispy exterior often served with sour cream and salt, latkes consist of a simple blend of potato, flour and oil, and are traced to eastern Europe, in particular Poland. Our pick of the best latkes in Montreal? Mazurka, our favourite place for Pollack grub open every day.

The simple but addictive salt-boiled snack found in some Japanese restaurants is derived from China and Japan and consists of young soybeans boiled in the pod and served warm. This light dish is both healthy and tasty and is sometimes accompanied by soy sauce for dipping. We were served a complimentary bowl with our Sapporo beer at Isakaya, one of the best sushi places we know of for price and quality.

Cannoli knishes

The irresistible Sicilian delicacy is a true favourite for those already introduced. For the uninitiated, these sweet shells â&#x20AC;&#x201C;made of pastry and tube-shaped- are so renowned for their combination of a light, creamy texture and a delicate crispy exterior. Various fillings include vanilla, chocolate, hazelnut, pistachio and rosewater and have a base of custard or ricotta. One friend insists cannoli is better than sex!

A popular Jewish snack, these delicious dumplings consist of various fillings like potato, spinach, cheese, ground meat or onions. Unlike perogies -the Polish dumplings which are boiled- a knish is baked or fried and has a flakier pastry case. Hailing from eastern Europe, this food is now a popular mainstay of many North American cities with a large Jewish population, such as New York City, Pittsburgh, Montreal and Toronto.

Available at Euro Deli, 3619 St. Laurent Blvd.

Available at Marche Eden, in La Cite corner du Parc and Prince Arthur. 41

“

Marché Didn’t that place used to be a weird old Indian restaurant?

”

In a matter of three months, entrepreneur and owner Jason Masso put together a unique and stylish eatery right on Prince Arthur and St. Laurent, a district known for classy and cool dine-outs. Having spent a summer in Europe, Masso returned to Montréal in ‘07, enlisted the help of design firms Moderno, Feed and his own experience at other famed restos Buona Notte, Globe and Rosalie to create Marché 27. The result: a trendy brunch spot slash cafe slash world-class tartare bar. Marché chef Patrick Cleven put together a menu that spans breakfast soufflés and omelettes to gourmet sandwiches and galettes to- their piece de resistance- salmon, tuna, beef, duck or horse tartare. To complement this is a more than decent bar which includes beer, wine, whisky, scotch and rum. A casual drop-in can garner you any number of pastries or cookies and coffee to go, but a longer stay really gives you the chance to soak up the modern European décor and admire the classy tie-clad waiters. Take a look on your next stroll down Prince Arthur. Corner Clark. !

BOUTIQUE LADY ROCKET Maybe itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s our influence* but the block between Duluth and Rachel on St. Laurent is really becoming the new spot for picking up stylish garb for girls. The latest addition to the cluster of boutiques on this block is Lady Rocket, an independent store showcasing local and international brands like Industrie, Grob, Orb, Oom, Gentle Fawn and Câ&#x20AC;&#x2122;est Moi. The poppy interior and rows of colourful clothing make you feel much like a kid in a candy shop- especially when you see all the bright baubles and jewels displayed on the front counter and in the glass cases. The quirky and original designs of Miss Wilcox (www.misswilcox.net) as well as a number of other Quebecois jewelers is another feature which sets Lady Rocket apart from some of the other more generic stores in the area. *To the uninitiated, the SNAP! HQ resides on this neat little block, along with other ! icons Pi, Patati Patata, Laika, and Le Point Vert. 43

en vir on m en t

th ic s

Film

info @ indyish . com

independent

artists network

Spring/Summer Cheat Sheet Photographer: Karin Demeyer

SHEER GENIUS

Not merely a thing from our rebellious past or a fabric best kept for the bedroom, sheer pieces dotted a number of runways (Louis Vuitton, Fendi, Jill Stuart, BCBG Max Azria) and have cropped up in boutiques and stores as varied as GAP, Guess and Bedo. KensieGirlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Spring-Summer collection features a number of sheer dresses, and Dieselâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vintage bent this season means that many tees and jeans are worn-in and diaphanous. Look for these brands at Adam and Eve and StyleXchange.

Shorts: Lux Top: Zara 45

PRIME TIME

The trio we all loved in grade school â&#x20AC;&#x201C; red, yellow and blue- are back in all their bright and vivid glory and really make a statement when worn alone. Blue is particularly brilliant this season, with cobalt, electric and acid tones a real stand-out. Many designers are putting yellow front and center in cheerful shades of sunflower, day-glo and mustard. Look for accents of yellow in clothing, in particular floral prints, belts and tailored pieces like skirts and blazers. The new frock in town is the little red dress, the best way to wear rouge all spring and summer. Perhaps one of our favourite looks of the season, the LRD (little red dress) is so sexy and so modern we want multiple versions of it.

Dress: Models own 46

GET HORIZONTAL

It was love at first sight when we spotted Zaraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s classic navy and white horizontal striped dress in store last month, but similar versions were seen on the runways at DKNY, Michael Kors, Tracey Reese and Luella making this look pretty pointed for Summer. While there are a lot of acid washes in the mix, there is still room for the more timeless pairings, with the old white and blue or white and red combos leading the pack. Lustre has some beautiful interpretations, as do MANGO and Bedo, but you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have trouble spotting this trend elsewhere around Montreal all season.

Dress: Ginger 47

Models: Jillian and Manisha

NOTABLE MENTIONS

Tie Dye Du Jour: Along with hippie tassles and psychedelic swirls of colour comes the ‘It’ 60’s print, tie-dye. Be free, live and let live, and wear it any way you please. She’s Got Legs: The hemlines are hiiiiiiigh this season, with short skirts and even shorter shorts all over the place. Since you’ve been good all winter, working out regularly and keeping well-shaven, you should be just fine, right? *gulp!* Nautical ‘n Nice: Everyone loves a sailor and this year it’s especially true with square and boat-neck tops, bolero jackets, blue and white pairings, neck-ties, and A-line shapes that beckon your inner Popeye or Sailor Moon.

Shorts: Kimchi & Blue Top: Free People 48

w hat’s

Your Favourite Piece? This issue we ask Nastassia to reveal the inner secrets of her style:

What’s your favourite item in your wardrobe? This question is pretty tough, because very few of the items in my wardrobe can stand alone. It would have to be my tacky, green, crushed velvet dress.

Are you a shoe-girl or a dress-girl? Dress-girl, for sure… especially come springtime.

What’s the story behind it? Well, when I was a little girl, I remember my mother having a purple, long sleeved, crushed velvet dress that she wore one New Year ’s Eve. I thought that it looked so damn cool (yes, I do realize that this was in the early 90s, when fashion was at it’s finest). Sadly, she got rid of her dress and ever since, I’ve been searching far and wide for my own. This winter, at good old Value Village, I finally found something that came pretty close: my green dress.

If you had 500 bucks to burn, where’s the first store you’d hit up? I’d be all over Chinatown in a second!

How would you describe your style? Wannabe-Japanese-Girl

Whose style do you admire? Quirky Betsy Johnson.

What’s your dream vacation destination? Any place tropical. Kokomo? The best style advice you ever heard? Even if you’re the only one that thinks it’s cool, rock it. This just goes to say, pair your outfit with some confidence and you can pull off much worse than crushed velvet. ! 49

black dress

L ittle

z z

of the issue

This black silk number comes to you from Margo London, a British line of silk evening dresses and lingerie inspired by whimsical clothing of the past. It features fine gold detailing at the neckline and falls to the knee. You can find this feather-light gem at Lola & Emily at 3575 St. Laurent Blvd and see other garments by the designer at: www.margolondon.co.uk 51

Image from www.stardustfashion.com

Brand New Beauty

Along with refreshing bursts of colour and the reappearance of a strong brow, runway make-up for Spring-Summer 2008 championed bare, healthy skin with a touch of sheen and a natural flush of pink on lips and cheeks. Calvin Klein, Preen, Jill Sander and DKNY all marched their models down the runway with make-up that said bare but better. Image above: Collette Dinnigan backstage.

BABY SKIN

This issue’s beauty shoot took place 10am on a Sunday, and our model ERICA arrived having barely slept after a crazy night of partying. Somehow she still managed to look radiant, and didn’t need much help from make-up at all. For those wanting to imitate her clean, rosy glow, here’s what products we used:

Rimmel RECOVER foundation in Ivory MAC Barbie satin blush in Don’t Be Shy Rimmel All Over Pencil in 008 Faith Prestige waterproof eyeliner in 01 Black Clinique High Impact mascara in Black/Brown MAC satin lipstick in Snob Some other products that are great for faking a youthful glow: MAC Strobe Cream, a hydrating base for foundation that gives a subtle sheen to the skin. Benefit Dr. Feelgood, a balm for before or after make-up that smoothes pores and lines. DuWop Doubleglow7, a luminizer with vitamins to restore moisture and radiance. Shiseido Accentuating Color stick in Peach Flush, for a punch of warm colour. NARS Cream Blush in Penny Lane, for a sheer wash of colour on cheeks and eyes. All available at Holt Renfrew or The Bay.

Photograph by Simon Duhamel

Beauty q&A

How do you take care of your skin? I use Vichy lotion morning and night, and Dove soap for everything else. I get a facial once every three months, when I can afford it! I never go to tanning salons and never will. I like to keep my skin natural and avoid any product that covers my skin. My cosmetics bag holds three important items: mascara, kohl powder and the Benefit It stick, an under eye concealer. Do you have any beauty secrets? The biggest weapon for any woman when it comes to skin care is water. It’s no joke. I have nothing in my fridge except water and more water. Skin care starts from the inside; be good to yourself and your body will be good to you.

What is beautiful to you? It’s not about looking better then anyone, or being named America’s Next Top Model. It’s about respecting yourself and being confident. Beauty is beyond fashion and ‘modern standards’. It’s something that comes from the inside, just like karma. I find a lot of people who try and follow the latest fashion look uncomfortable in what they wear and put on too much make up. Beauty is not about hiding your flaws but accepting what you were given. When you think of it, everyone is beautiful in their own way. Differences make us special and we should be grateful we aren’t all the same. Erica photographed by Simon Duhamel 56

FAKE-ITS In a spot of bother? The world need not know with Benefit’s line of concealers. $18-$30 Available at The Bay and selected Pharmaprix.

SNAP! Beauty

Oh that poreless, smooth and cherubic skin covering a baby’s ass… long coveted by us mere adult mortals afflicted with any variety of horrors like acne, dull skin, discoloration or fine lines. While we tracked down one of the few peeps out there with flawless skin for our beauty shoot (Erica, previous page) we can’t all be blessed with such good fortune (and good genes). Here are our SNAP! beauty DO’s and DONT’s to get you on track to a better dermis!

DO’s

Use gentle products on your skin. Just ‘cos you have a zit doesn’t mean you should douse your face in harsh soaps or chemicals. Look for products that are hypo-allergenic and only wear make-up that is non-comedogenic. See a doctor or dermatologist if your skin is bothering you on an ongoing basis. You can spend 100 bucks at Pharmaprix but it’s better value to see an expert with experience. Exfoliate! It’s one of the most simple and effective ways to keep skin clear and healthy. Some of our favourite scrubs include Lancome Pure-Focus Exfoliator ($24), Clarins OneStep Gentle Exfoliating Facial Cleanser ($33.50) and NiveaVisage Gentle Face Cleansing Cream ($12.50). Use sun protection. No matter what your colouring, sun exposure can and will age you! The sunscreens available nowadays are much better than the thick, goopy white ones of the past, making excuses for going bare faced pretty difficult. Drink water! Why do you think models are always carting around giant bottles of Evian and Fiji? Hydrated skin just glows, looks plumper and drinking water is good for you.

’ DONT’s

Pick at your skin. Squeezing and picking can leave permanent scars and spreads dirt and oil on the surface of your face. Even if it’s really bad, just try to put some concealer on it and leave it alone! Concealers we love: MAC ($22), NARS ($24) and Revlon Colorstay ($14). Smoke! All that smoking will really show on your face and hands in a few years…Get out while you can! Use too many products at once. Have a standard regimen and stick to it. A daily cocktail of retinols, masks, scrubs and serums might be overdoing it, and can cause break-outs, dryness and dehydration. Burn the candle at both ends. Exhaustion and stress really shows on your skin, leaving it looking dull and aged. Of course some of us are busy bees and can’t always lie in ‘til 10am. Try to practice calming activities like meditation, or better yet, just take a nap! Go fat-free! Why do people think a fat-free muffin and sugar-free diet soda make for a good snack? Regardless of your weight concerns, your skin needs a variety of oils to keep itself nourished and firm. Nuts, seeds, fish and the oil from olives and flaxseed are all amazing for your skin, so get on the gras! 57

Photography by Karin Demeyer

B ernard

Even puddle ridden sidewalks can’t ruin a stroll on Bernard, a delightful street on the border between Mile End and Outremont that many families, professionals and young hipsters call their home. Jewish bakeries with the most amazing cakes and breads, a corner store on every block, an abundance of colourful florists and gift stores, and of course, Drawn and Quarterly.

Bernard has culture and style and the most charming mix of old-world living and working class cool. Yeah the average person can’t afford to go crazy on Bernard, but one is still rather tempted by the unique pieces and cute knick-knacks spread out in the stores. Our suggestion for an afternoon well spent on this street: browse in the shops, devour a cream horn at Cheskie’s, catch a movie at Theatre Outremont and then take cappuccinos at Café Republic- only the best foam in Montreal.

Maiko Sushi

It was the perfect meal. A birthday dinner was called for so we chose Maiko because ‘it’s fun to try new places’. The décor is really something, two extravagant glass tanks with scores of exotic fish, as well as ambient light displays and designer furniture. We thought we may have over-shot things, but even in his ‘I used to be Schizophrenic, but we’re OK now’ T-Shirt, my dinner date was comfortable and not out of place. From the lavender scented hot towels at the start of the meal to the real orchid that was used to garnish our sushi plate when the main course came, this place had the Midas’ touch. The food itself was -insert Homer Simpson growl here- sooo good. Really, some of the best 62

I’ve had in Montreal, and I am actually something of the connoisseur (disregard the Homer Simpson reference). It’s really worth a try if you want to splash out a little or just to have some hot sake and look at beautiful fish. Quick Note: Maiko is the sister restaurant of Toronto’s Sado Sushi. 387 Bernard West 514.490.1225

Drawn and Quarterly

Drawn and Quarterly is an independent publishing firm specializing in comics. They recently opened a store on Bernard showcasing a plethora of zines, comic books and fiction from local and international writers and artists. Some of these include Julie Doucet, Chester Brown and

Adrian Tomine - considered among the best in their field. You can easily while away an hour or two in this young and friendly store, and get inspired by the top notch design and illustration on display. 211 Bernard West 514.279.2274

less than impressive. Hopefully youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll get a more attentive waitress on your visit. If we cared to return, the risotto would be our next foray in an otherwise lovely little Italian spot. 1265 Bernard West 514.278.0888

Le Petit Italien

Papillope Etc.

The details are all there - from walls lined with jars of homemade tomato sauce to decorative floors and lighting to the signature motif on tables, glasses and cards. Baskets of bread and bottled water on the table, and a broad choice of wines - kept in their own cool room until served - give this mid-range eatery a real sense of class. Yet in spite of all this, and the delicious cannelloni we ordered, the service was

The kind of stationery store that has you wanting a whole swath of items, just because. Bright, beautiful and friendly, they stock journals, cards, sketchbooks and pencils among other gifts and goodies. Who cares if you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t actually need three different Moleskin notebooks right now? 1126 Bernard West 514.271.6356 63

Local 23

Stocking mostly vintage and recycled clothing, Local 23 is the sister store of General 54 on St.Viateur, and is well loved by Montreal friperie fans. This store also carries a good collection of posters and silkscreen art, along with an assortment of music from local musicians that you may not have heard of. 23 Bernard West 514.270.9333

Boulangerie Cheskie

Simple, friendly, and just about the best baked goods on the planet, Cheskieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s is a must if you love carbs of any kind, particularly those doused in any combination of cinnamon, sugar, fruit, candy 64

sprinkles and gooey icing. Babkas, ruggelah, cream horns and sweet cheese filled cookies are all lined up for you to ogle and order by the dozen. The smell alone makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 359 Bernard West 514.271.2253

Ian Perrault Pret-A-Manger

Local chef celebrity Ian Perrault occupies a tiny spot on Bernard where a variety of his food is available for a la carte meals or larger events. The interior is charming and Parisian though quite small, making it awkward for on-the-spot eating. The menu includes salads, sandwiches, hot

Kokoon

and cold side dishes and specialties, such as the maple roasted shrimp or magret de canard, orders of which require notice. 1248 Bernard West 514.948.1248

Cute boutique stocking gifts, jewelry, and kitchen wares. 1061 Bernard W 514.490.1061

Bilboquet

Outremont Theatre

Bilboquet has the reputation of being one of, if not the best, ice cream places in the city. On most warm nights youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll find this tiny artisan glacier packed to the brim as people enjoy the real fruit flavours and the decadent mixes of ingredients such as praline, chocolate and caramel. Also serving simple sandwiches and snacks. 1311 Bernard West 514.276.0414

Historical building with French and foreign language films, music and theatre performance, as well as special events. 1240 Bernard West 514.495.9944

Senzala

Great for brunch and specializing in Brazilian food at lunch and dinner, Senzala is warm and friendly and has a terrasse in the Summer which often results in

samba music and caipirinha drenched revelry. 117 Bernard West 514.274.1464

Café Romolo

Relaxed and full of locals, this bar slash café is a laid back place to catch up with friends over a home brew and a game of pool. 272 Bernard West 514.272.5035

Charlie Satva

Kit yourself out with exercise and yoga gear as well as comfortable basics, bags and body care. 260 Bernard West 514.510.5788

Lester’s Deli

A neighbourhood favourite, this diner is as old-school as they come and dishes up to its mixed clientele the typical smoked meat sandwich fare, along with fries, perogies, burgers and so on. Cheap and simple, with a lot of character. 1057 Bernard West 514.270.7006

L’Assommoir

Spanish style restaurant with long tables and a mixed international menu that is mid-range and good for large groups. 112 Bernard West 514.272.0777

Helm

Most locals prefer Romolo but Helm is it’s trendier hipster cousin catering to young professionals and students out on the town. Local beer and snacks. 273 Bernard West 514.276.0473

Café Republique

A great place to study, read or take a latté with a friend, this simple café has great coffee and table service. 1051 Bernard West 514.277.0502

Premier Moisson

Baked goods and grocery items, as well as coffee and snacks. Top quality. 1271 Bernard W 514.270.2559

Café Souvenir

A few of our friends name this place as a favourite and one can easily see why. Friendly, spacious, with typical brunch fare and assorted tasty meals –among them B.L.T’s, fried squid or quesadillas with fresh guacamole. 1261 Bernard West 514.948.5259

Did we miss a hot spot on Bernard? Help us build our online Street Guide by emailing us at info@snapme.ca !

THEREâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S

NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH But there are always a few sweet freebies to brighten your day as you trudge through life and find your wallet sickly thin and your morale less than high.

1 2 5 68

1 ICE-CREAM

Maybe you missed Ben and Jerry’s free cone day on April 29th but in the warmer months it’s a pretty sweet (and crafty) score when you drop into an ice cream parlor and try out some spoonfuls. Your best bet is to look intrigued and skeptical when you read out the flavour names, and glance pointedly at the person behind the counter. Once you’ve sampled a few, appear displeased and quickly turn for the door. Of course after several mouthfuls of the stuff you may end up wanting to part with that two or three dollars just for your own cone. It’s your call.

2CATALOGUES

Thanks to a neighbour from upstairs that I never actually met, our building now receives regular catalogues that are as pretty and inspiring as any 12 dollar magazine you can buy. You can get your own door-step delights by emailing a request to various companies or filling out your details on website catalogue order forms. Heads up guys- Victoria’s Secret is better than any Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue and the catalogues show up every two or three weeks- Jackpot!

3 PERFUME 4

Why lug around a huge expensive bottle of perfume or cologne and slowly get sick of the scent when you can have a bunch of tiny portable perfume companions to switch up at any time? Pharmacies and department stores deal in the thousands when it comes to little perfume samplers and generally have anywhere from 20 to 100 different brands and scents available at any given time. Next time you’re in Jean Coutu or Pharmaprix, go to the counter and ask about their new perfumes and sampling policies. Pretty simple!

ALCOHOL

What’s that? Free beer? Even wine? No way! How much skin did you show? Not much, if you’re getting a haircut in one of Montreal’s trendier salons, which serve that stuff up to get their clients happy, tipsy and feeling hot. I usually go for the herbal tea and then later come to regret it when I see some dude chugging down a cold beer after his ten minute shampoo massage. Ah, a free luxury is a rare one.

5 FURNITURE

There’s something dreadful AND awesome about strolling through the rich Anglo neighbourhoods of Montreal around the end of every month. Scores of barely used, perfectly good furniture is left by the roadside like the victim of a mob hit, as rich foreign students and out-of townies change apartments and decide the sweet old oak desk or huge buffalo hide couch isn’t worth the trouble. Be prepared to find some amazing pieces and get a little bewildered with the society we live in. 69

I guess there is a business ownerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s manual out there somewhere that suggests a wellchosen mosaic will add unique appeal to a commercial space. Not that we can argue with this, but once we started looking we noticed more and more examples of the thankfully pleasing phenomenon all over Montreal. Here are some of them.

F OUND ART

Montreal is warming up and the city is out in force, sunning in parks, drinking on terraces and hoping Spring Fever will never end. It was a hard choice but the votes are in and SCUBA diving is Where WeĂd Rather Be! Welcome to Dahab on the Red Sea, in Egypt. ItĂs a beautiful town of beaches, palm trees and golden sands, a great holiday location - not to mention some of the best diving in the world! Kick back and enjoy the view! By Hannah Byrne

Welcome to

INFO Dahab was originally a hotspot for backpacking hippies and the town retains this laidback air. It is a smaller and more relaxed version of the more touristic Sharm El Sheik which is a few hours south. The town was a Bedouin fishing village and Bedouin communities continue to live in the area. They are desert nomads, journeying by camel from oasis to oasis. Dahab is a small town and it is quite easy to get around on foot. I didnít count but Iím quietly convinced that there are more taxis than people. High-rises are not permitted so a clean view of palmed beaches awaits the lucky traveler. Most visitors journey to Dahab for the SCUBA (self contained underwater breathing apparatus) but if diving isnít your scene, the town has a lot more on offer:

Wind surfing conditions are world renowned with flat oceans and strong winds.

Safaris into the desert and to the nearby Mt Sinai come in the form of camel, jeep, horse or quad bike.

Low-set restaurants stretch by the coastline and with large cushions and freshly caught seafood, there is no better way to look out over the sea.

The town is also rich in history and biblical references: Moses received the 10 Commandments from the nearby Mt. Sinai before parting the Red Sea to lead his people to the Promised Land.

The Red Sea is a geographical land mark separating Asia from Africa and the Mediterranean from the 73

Indian Ocean. It is home to over 1000 species of fish, many invertebrates and over 200 varieties of soft and hard corals. It is also one of the best SCUBA sites in the world with water temperatures ranging from 20c in winter to 28c in summer. Not bad eh? Accommodation First things first: a bed. Hostels are a bit of a rarity in Egypt but hotel rooms are so cheap that this won’t set back even the budget traveler. There are a bunch of hotels in the area so be sure to bargain. Many have in-house dive centers so try and negotiate a package which includes your dive course. Accommodation ranges from beach shacks to hotel rooms. Our 3 picks are: Penguin Village: double rooms from $22 (www.penguindahab. com). It is reasonable, clean and has a beautiful restaurant lounge along the sea. Coral Coast: double rooms from $66; has its own on-site dive center. Octopus Divers: Double rooms from $27. The hotel has a great in-house dive center and this is where we did our dive course. An interesting side note: most hotels pump salt water from the sea for bathroom use - so stock up on bottled water to avoid a sticky face and clammy hands. SCUBA So letís talk SCUBA. To dive you will need a clean bill of health and to feel comfortable in the water. Here is a rough 74

breakdown of what’s on offer. 1 day courses: an instructor will dive beside you with a careful eye on your equipment and progress. If being submerged gives you the heebygeebies, then this is probably your best bet. Open Water License: The most common and popular dive course in which you’ll learn the basics about equipment and diving techniques. At the end of the course, you’ll legally be able to dive with your buddy sans instructor. The course consists of 5 pool dives and 4 open water dives; it usually takes 4 days. Octopus Divers: $332 Advance Open Water: Follows on from the Open Water license and is made up of 5 dives over 2 days. Octopus Divers: $270 PADI Rescue Diver: Follows on from Advance Open Water. Divers will need to complete a CPR certification and 5 additional dives over 3 days. Divers will learn selfrescue and diver stress, first aid, in water artificial resuscitation and more. Octopus Divers: $395 Dive Master: This is the ultimate in dive courses and qualifies you to be a dive instructor. It’s a great solution to all those backpackers looking to float around the world and make a little money on the side. You will need to complete a minimum of 60 dives. The course can be done as an internship in a dive school which helps reduce costs. Octopus Divers: $950 (Prices may vary seasonally. All prices include equipment rental, instruction fees, transport and certification).

We got ourselves kitted-up, watched a few videos, read a book, and headed out for our confined dives. I hadn’t realized just how heavy the whole ‘suit-up’ process would be. With regulator, BCD, wetsuit and tank, it was all rather cumbersome. I was slightly nervous that I would prove to be an uncoordinated diver. A few skills in, and I realized that I had nothing to worry about. The portly Viennese man in our group made me shine even when I lost my mask, dropped my fin and forgot that’thumbs up’ didn’t mean ‘good.’ My friend Mika and I were actually pretty snappy about the whole diving process, clearing flooded masks with disregard and swapping regulators with ease. Our instructor was busy with old Portly and left us to our own devices as we learned some valuable lessons like compass use when lost (I blame Mika), the importance of the ‘buddy system’ when separated (again I blame Mika) and how to share air when your buddy forgets to check his air supply (...Mika...). We were both eager to graduate with honors but our efforts were cruelly thwarted by Portly. He was a loose cannon and enjoyed sneaking up and knocking out our regulators, tangling our fins and separating our buddy pack. Our instructor would invariably check on his students after such an incident to see Portly somehow in a positively-buoyant state as we awkwardly pawed the water like drowning kittens. A shake of the head was our underwater punishment. We plotted Portly’s demise.

The most famous dive site in Dahab is the Blue Hole which is beautiful for diving or snorkeling. The Blue Hole is a tube of coral which cuts down 80m or so. At 55m down lies a passage and many divers aim for this. It is worth noting that once you complete your open water license, you are legally permitted to dive down to 30 meters. Many divers attempt to make it to this 55m mark and locals estimate that over 100 have died trying. Most deaths are attributed to ill preparation, unsuitable equipment and poor skill levels. Most dive sites are shore sites, which makes for easy access and less swimming or boat time. Two sites can be reached only by camel with tour operators offering overnight trips out. The Canyon and the Blue Hole are two sites popular with ‘free divers who dive sans air. They are permitted to dive down 30m and many international records have been broken in Dahab. We completed our open water license and with a rented underwater camera, snapped some great shots! So if you have a few weeks of holiday looming, consider checking out Dahab and all that this great little Egyptian town has ! to offer!

OH SNAP! By Roberto Cialdella

Gay Iconography? Please.

Paris Hilton launched her new shoe line in Montreal last month. Wait, wait, allow me to interrupt myself here for a moment… did anyone hear of Britney’s highway accident? Is Lindsay speaking to Dadda again? Whitney, Amy… Ghastly! Wait, this is a gay lifestyle column… what do these girls have to do with anything? Oh dear readers, the gay icon status is gradually being cheapened. The very fervor with which many of my fellow homosexuals wanted to meet Ms. Hilton in April got me thinking… Does the extent to which someone can be called a gay icon simply relate to how much of a rich brat they are or how many issues they seem to have? While I must admit that- for whatever reason - I would happily smell Paris’ shoes if given the chance, I still find myself wondering

why it is that we gay men constantly bestow such high honors on people (straight women in particular), who have done nothing substantial for our cause? Enough with gay icon Beckham this, gay icon Minogue that! In 2004, Bill Cosby chastised young black Americans for popularizing the uneducated in culture and society, suggesting that in doing so they squandered the achievements of the civil-rights movement. Might I be so bold as to correlate the matter to our gay community? Not only are many gay men still closeted, but a great number seem unaware of our collected cultural detritus. Many achievements have been made in the past, but very little is done to celebrate and learn from them. How many gay youths know that Gay Pride is a commemorative event for the Stonehill rebellion? What about the White night riots, Paragraph 175, the Pink triangle? Yet if you ask an average gay dude what Lindsay wore last week, he will likely answer immediately, and in great detail. The LGBT community now has more freedom than ever before, thanks in large part to the many individuals who took a chance and came out when it was most difficult to. Yet our relative freedoms and the heroes we should thanks for them - rarely get a mention and take a back seat to frivolous topics like Beck’s tits, fake or not. Many marginalized groups in history have mainstream heroes such Malcolm X, Che Guevara and Martin Luther King. While we have had the Gay Liberation Front, the Mattachine society in the sixties and GLAAD since the eighties, gay society lacks any icon or organization of notable stature. Later this year, we will finally be getting a Harvey Milk biopic. Perhaps the fact that his

“Does the extent to which someone can be called a gay icon simply relate to how much of a rich brat they are or how many issues they seem to have?” character will be portayed by Sean Penn may lend enough star-power to launch Milk into mainstream iconography, but who can say? Potent images are easily conjured with the quotes “By any means necessary” or “I have a dream”, but how many are acquainted with “If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door.“? Politically speaking most famous gays are sychophantic maniacs such as Larry Craig and Ted Haggard. Often times being famous and gay only amounts to being reluctantly outed from closets (or bathroom stalls). We have Jim McGreevey but no Mandela. The majority of our gay icons have come from the entertainment world. Yet even the outiest of the outs often hold attitudes antithetic to becoming any substantial symbol. In a recent issue of the Advocate, out and about actor Cheyenne Jackson expresses his distaste for media witch-hunts in which some of his peers have been outed. While the process itself could be considered a display of greed and intrusion, the sentiment behind coming out ‘officially,’ on the cover of People magazine or in an interview with Larry King, remains an important part of establishing gay pride and acceptance. ‘It’s no one’s business,’ right? Not necessarily. Sexuality, dear readers, is never a private matter in the first place. Just ask Paris.

Too many LGBTer’s are not circumspect about who they adulate and - in turn - give power to. Gay iconography is slowly being replaced with insipid popularity. The reality is we choose our icons, our symbols, people who give a face to our past and future. We are promoting troubled celebrities, representing ourselves with T-shirts that read ‘That’s hot’. What a poor badge of pride; it’s certainly no ‘Guerrillero Heroico’.*

Alberto Korda’s famed pic of Che Guevara entitled ‘Guerrillero Heroico’ evolved into a world-wide key symbol for counterculture regardless of one’s political stance on Guevara. Once he was killed the picture was franchised through several other artists as well as eventually appearing on posters and t-shirts. Irish artist Jim Fitrzpatrick created the most emulated version of these posters. ‘I thought he was one of the greatest men who ever lived and I still do in many ways. And when he was murdered, I decided I wanted to do something about it, so I created the poster. I felt this image had to come out, or he would not be commemorated otherwise, he would go where heroes go, which is usually into anonymity’ !

MAY/JUNE 2008 Horoscope

Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Alright, so some things might not be up to par with your expectations but gee wiz – you need to tone down your voracious appetite for wanting more, more, more! Be content with what you have or at least take what you can get. And stop complaining you spoiled sonuvabitch. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Thinking before you act or speak may be to your benefit this month. There is a good chance you may bring about some nightmare that will cause heavy guilt and shame on your end. So bite your tongue and keep your hands in your pockets – unless you enjoy such things, you sadist. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Take care not to leach on to just anyone. It may not occur to you at first due to a disintegrating of your olfactory senses, but most of the individuals you gravitate towards reek of superiority. They may begin to make decisions for you, or impose their values on you. 78

Leo (July 23 – August 22) Something to ponder: you can’t always be in the spotlight. Being rained on isn’t so bad – unless the temperature drops and the water turns to hail. Regardless, if you really work for it, you should be able to brighten things up again. Grab Sunshine Bear by the ass and squeeze him till that light pours out of his gut! Virgo (August 23 – September 22) A fortunate occurrence (or several) may mean good things to come. This could range from romance, to business, to a sudden burst of excessive creativity. You should not become so starry eyed though and keep Murphy’s Law in mind – if anything can go wrong, it will. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Any disagreements or arguments you may experience now might not be so easy to resolve. Don’t let your anxiety get the best of you; at least keep a paper bag handy for any episodes of hyperventilation. If you stand your ground and avoid being taken advantage of, you’ll get by just fine. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) A quest or journey can be foreseen in your near future. Whether this possibility of adventure is a reality or one of your psychotic visions I couldn’t begin to tell you. Regardless, you will have a surprisingly easy time convincing even the most sensible people. How shrewd. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) A sudden influx of new activities may quickly turn into problems you’ll wish weren’t really there. If you don’t make the time to assess what you are capable of taking on, you will likely suffer the

consequences. Work on multitasking, ask for help, or just dump the problems on someone else. Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Being cheap has its benefits. Oh, I’m sorry - the correct term should be frugal. Your experiments with moderation should prove successful while your ability to adapt (not sellout) does wonders for your self-control. Kudos for keepin’ it feng shui. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) Prepare yourself for DEATH…death of an old way of life that is. This may be a transition to a new environment or mode of business. However, the effect of the change depends on your outlook on it. You could move on to something spectacular, or you could dig your own grave.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20) There is a mole in your midst, and not the kind that sometimes sprouts three or four hairs. Someone (or a collective, let’s not single anyone out) is waiting to reap the goods you have sown. Stay alert. Be wary. Don’t trust anyone. Use night vision goggles if you have to, and become the creepy neighbor staring through the curtains at night. Aries (March 21 – April 19) If you have experienced an exceptional amount of conflict lately, it could be that your box of chocolate life has become rancid over time. On the bright side, you can use the yellow cream filled one (that everyone puts back) to poison innocent passersby.

Writing by Lady Nox Cadaver Photograph by Karin Demeyer Illustration by Nizar Shorbagi 79

Advertising questions? Info@snapme.ca

By A.J. Little

Cold Turkey-Hot Dog

Everything I ever needed to know, I learned on bathroom stall walls: where to go, how to get there, misquoted Nietzche aphorisms in the Forum restrooms. I moved to Montreal to dry out. I would walk around the city catching side glances from the Franco urban youth. Their clothes smelling of pot smoke, poutine, and untarnished hockey glory. I managed to stay straight. Just had to find stuff to occupy my time. A duck a priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says: â&#x20AC;&#x153;hey! Is this some kind of joke?â&#x20AC;?

I guess you have heard that one ...?

Je ne sais pas que ce vous dites. Je parle francais seulement

The only French I knew were sexual euphemisms I had picked up working in a kitchen with sexually frustrated perverts. Rather than tell the Robot to suck my dick, we sat there quietly.

The Robot and I sat there for a moment. I wondered if androids dream of electronic sheep, and he wondered what I was doing in his country.

Oh - uhm do you want a cigarette? er voolez vu ooone cigarette?

I can remember when you could smoke in hospitals, brothels, bars - anywhere you needed to.

I still smoke in theatres, it gives the ushers jobs. In a way I am bolstering the youth job market, not mention the economy

I have been a smoker since the 9th grade. It was my way to talk to the delinquent girls out in the smoking section.

Do re-en Merci beaucoup

I guess I had better go

See you around

There is nothing like the unifying power of the cigarette. I will probably stop when there is no-one left to offer them to.

I walked briskly

I walked past a poster of my Uncle hocking estate planning. He was a salesman.

It was a million dollar smile on a dime store budget.

When I was younger, he cost my grandmother her house, trying to play the Bigshot. Making me lose my childhood home. I thought I left him in Toronto

Every month on the 28th he would show up to borrow money, whistling some unforgettable melody.

My grandmother could never say no it was against her nature.

When I lived with my grandmother, I knew when my uncle had stopped by. Her glass of wine would be a little more full on those days.

Hi, how was your day? I watched this film â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Magnoliaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;... too much swearing I think

She would talk to me about her day, while we watched long cancelled television shows and movies

She jumped from topic to topic once she started drinking. I dream about my grandma a lot.

I want to see ‘Kind Heart and Cornets’ again. I am glad you moved in, this is your home. Do you remember when you were little and you thought every movie was called ‘’Coming soon to a theatre near you’’?

We lived in St. Henri in those days and my sister lived in Longueil. But we moved away.

I would love nothing more than to go back to that time

I think she is the reason I moved to Montreal.

My grandmother died and I never moved back... no use crying over spilt milk.

Gram is the reason I moved to Montreal. When I was a lad, I would raid the medicine cabinet. My grandmother was awash in morphine sulfate. Consequently so was I.

I just want to be like Charlie Parker.

My days have degenerated into sloth, cartoons and pipe dreams.

When I start to feel sorry for myself, I chain smoke and listen to obscure bands that put out vinyl and do Velvet Underground covers.

I threw up a black bile I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seen since I was in short pants... a time when I decided eggnog and molasses would be a filling lunch.

It was an awful noise. It was like turning on a faucet.

It was a soft syringe, a Sammy Davis Junior dragon-chaser.

It waded around in the muck. It smelt like a high pitched voice saying terms of endearment to an ex-girlfriend.

It looked like a 3-D ultrasound, like some mangled Fleischer cartoon.

It ran up my leg with the speed of itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s birth. The record stopped, which was a relief as no-one wants to be accosted to a soundtrack.

I tried to pull him off my face but he grabbed my tongue, forcing himself down my gullet. I held tightly while my progeny turned me into myself, evaporating into thin air.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not sure what happened. All I am sure about is having no real memory of anything prior to waking up three days later.

I woke up in a place that was familiar like stories about your childhood you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t remember. I was woken by an armless ambassador to the street aristocracy.

Where am I? And do you miss your arm?

St. Henri. Every day but twice on Sundays

Hey fella what are you doing?

Oh, hey this is where my grandmother used to live, I remember pictures.

I figured the best course of action would be to break into her old empty house.

LYNDA BARRY

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