Dec issue

2013

What is an Intervention Developing Effective Coping Skills – Key Points A MARCHMAN ACT CASE STUDY Learn to Be Optimistic Addiction, Recovery, and Coming Out of Our Comfort Zones

Back to the Basics of Recovery Step Five The Truth is Relentless Secondhand Drinking/Drugging (SHDD): Understand It, Prevent It and We Can Go a Long Ways to Reducing Underage Substance Abuse | Addiction

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A LETTER FROM THE PUBLISHER Dear Readers, I welcome you to The Sober World magazine. This magazine is being directly mailed each month to anyone that has been arrested due to drugs, alcohol and petty theft in Palm Beach County. It is also distributed locally to the Palm Beach County High School Guidance offices, The Middle School Coordinators, Palm Beach County Drug Court, and other various locations.

Living Housing where they can work, go to meetings and be accountable for staying clean.

Many petty thefts are drug related, as the addicts need for drugs causes them to take desperate measures in order to have the ability to buy their drugs.

I know how overwhelming this period can be for you and I urge every parent or relative of an addict to get some help for yourself as well. There are many groups that can help you. There is Al-Anon, Alateen (for teenagers), Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon and more. This is a disease that affects the whole family, not just the parents.

These groups allow you to share your thoughts and feelings. As anonymous groups, your anonymity is protected. Anything said within those walls are not shared with any one outside the room. You share only your first name, not your last name. This is a wonderful way for you to be able to openly convey what has been happening in your life as well as hearing other people share their stories. You will find that the faces are different but the stories are all too similar. You will also be quite surprised to see how many families are affected by drug and alcohol addiction.

Drug addiction has reached epidemic proportions throughout the country and is steadily increasing. Florida is one of the leading States. People come from all over to obtain pharmaceutical drugs from the pain clinics that have opened virtually everywhere.

The availability of prescription narcotics is overwhelming, and as parents our hands are tied because it is legal.

Doctors continue writing prescriptions for drugs such as Oxycontin, and Oxycodone (which is an opiate drug and just as addictive as heroin) to young adults in their 20’s and 30’s right up to the elderly in their 70”s, thus, creating a generation of addicts.

Addiction is a disease but it is the most taboo of all diseases. As family members affected by this disease, we are often too ashamed to speak to anyone about our loved ones addiction, feeling that we will be judged. We try to pass it off as a passing phase in their lives, and some people hide their head in the sand until it becomes very apparent such as through an arrest, getting thrown out of school, or even worse an overdose, that we realize the true extent of their addiction.

I know that many of you who are reading this now are frantic that their loved one has been arrested. No parent ever wants to see his or her child arrested or put in jail, but this may be your opportunity to save your child or loved ones life. They are more apt to listen to you now then they were before, when whatever you said may have fallen on deaf ears.

This is the point where you know your loved one needs help, but you don’t know where to begin.

I have compiled this informative magazine to try to take that fear and anxiety away from you and let you know there are many options to choose from.

There are Psychologists and Psychiatrists that specialize in treating people with addictions.

There are Education Consultants that will work with you to figure out what your loved ones needs are and come up with the best plan for them. There are Interventionists who will hold an intervention and try to convince your loved one that they need help. There are Transport Services that will scoop up your resistant loved one (under 18 yrs old) and bring them to the facility you have chosen. There are long term Residential Programs (sometimes a year and longer) as well as short term programs (30-90 days), there are Therapeutic Boarding Schools, Wilderness programs and there are Sober To Advertise, Call 561-910-1943

Many times a Criminal Attorney will try to work out a deal with the court to allow your child or loved one to seek treatment instead of jail.

Addiction knows no race or religion; it affects the wealthy as well as the poor, the highly educated, old, young-IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. This magazine is dedicated to my son Steven who graduated with top honors from University of Central Florida. He graduated with a degree in Psychology, and was going for his Masters in Applied Behavioral Therapy.

He was a highly intelligent, sensitive young man who helped many people get their lives on the right course. He could have accomplished whatever he set his mind out to do. Unfortunately, after graduating from college he tried a drug that was offered to him not realizing how addictive it was and the power it would have over him.

My son was 7 months clean when he relapsed and died of a drug overdose.

I hope this magazine helps you find the right treatment for your loved one.

They have a disease and like all diseases, you try to find the proper care.

They need help. Please don’t allow them to become a statistic.

There is a website called the Brent Shapiro Foundation. Famed attorney Robert Shapiro started it in memory of his son. I urge each and every one of you to go to that website. They keep track on a daily basis of all the people that die due to drug overdoses. It will astound you.

I hope you have found this magazine helpful. You may also visit us on the web at www.thesoberworld.com.

I Would Like To Wish Everyone A Good Holiday And A Happy And Healthy New Year.

Sincerely,

Patricia

Publisher Patricia@TheSoberWorld.com 3

IMPORTANT HELPLINE NUMBERS 211 PALM BEACH/TREASURE COAST 211

www.211palmbeach.org FOR THE TREASURE COAST www.211treasurecoast.org FOR TEENAGERS www.teen211pbtc.org AAHOTLINE-NORTH PALM BEACH 561-655-5700

www.aa-palmbeachcounty.org AA HOTLINE- SOUTH COUNTY 561-276-4581

www.aainpalmbeach.org FLORIDA ABUSE HOTLINE 1-800-962-2873

www.dcf.state.fl.us/programs/abuse/ AL-ANON- PALM BEACH COUNTY 561-278-3481

www.southfloridaalanon.org AL-ANON- NORTH PALM BEACH 561-882-0308

www.palmbeachafg.org FAMILIES ANONYMOUS 847-294-5877

(USA) 800-736-9805

(Local) 561-236-8183 Center for Group Counseling 561-483-5300

www.groupcounseling.org CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS 561-364-5205

www.pbcoda.com COCAINE ANONYMOUS 954-779-7272

www.fla-ca.org COUNCIL ON COMPULSIVE GAMBLING 800-426-7711

www.gamblinghelp.org CRIMESTOPPERS 800-458-TIPS (8477)

www.crimestopperspbc.com CRIME LINE 800-423-TIPS (8477)

www.crimeline.org DEPRESSION AND MANIC DEPRESSION 954-746-2055

www.mhabroward FLORIDA DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 800-500-1119

www.fcadv.org FLORIDA HIV/AIDS HOTLINE 800-FLA-AIDS (352-2437) FLORIDA INJURY HELPLINE 800-510-5553 GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS 800-891-1740

www.ga-sfl.org and www.ga-sfl.com HEPATITUS B HOTLINE 800-891-0707 JEWISH FAMILY AND CHILD SERVICES 561-684-1991

www.jfcsonline.com LAWYER ASSISTANCE 800-282-8981 MARIJUANA ANONYMOUS 800-766-6779

www.marijuana-anonymous.org NARC ANON FLORIDA REGION 888-947-8885

www.naranonfl.org NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS-PALM BEACH 561-848-6262

www.palmcoastna.org NATIONAL RUNAWAY SWITCHBOARD 800-RUNAWAY (786-2929)

www.1800runaway.org NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)

www.suicidology.org ONLINE MEETING FOR MARIJUANA www.ma-online.org Ruth Rales Jewish Family Services 561-852-3333

www.ruthralesjfs.org MEETING HALLS Billy Bob Club 561-459-7432

561-312-2611 central house 2170 W Atlantic Ave.

SW Corner of Atlantic & Congress Club Oasis 561-694-1949 Crossroads 561-278-8004 www.thecrossroadsclub.com EasY Does It 561-433-9971 The Meeting Place 561-255-9866 www.themeetingplaceinc.com The Triangle Club 561-832-1110 www.Thetriangleclubwpb.com

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To Advertise, Call 561-910-1943

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What is an Intervention

By Mitchell E. Wallick PhD CAP CAGC The most difficult part of dealing with addiction is that the addict does not feel that they have a problem. In fact, most are quite convinced that the problem is not theirs, but everyone else’s.

Irrational thinking is most apparent to rational people. Those looking in from the outside clearly see the destructive behavior of the addict. Unfortunately as a result of the illness, this is not even a thought in the head of the addict.

Those who love the addict recognize their need for help. For those of us in the field, we have a clear understanding that the movement to recovery occurs when the fear of changing becomes less than the pain of the disease. An intervention is helping the addict feel his/her consequences are so great that they have no choice but to seek treatment.

After years in practice I have learned that those planning an intervention must overcome their natural feelings of not wanting to betray, to protect and otherwise not anger the addict. Prior to explaining specifically how an intervention is organized and occurs, I think that it is important that we look at the underlying philosophy and purpose of an intervention.

An intervention is an act of love. It is providing someone with what they need, even if it is not what they want. In truth, that is real love. Protecting someone from horrible consequences by interrupting or preventing the dangerous behavior is what an intervention does. It accomplishes this by making the pain of the illness greater than the fear of changing quickly. It does this by using painful consequences that do not have the deadly effect of allowing the disease to take the addict to its natural end of institutions, insanity or death.

In deciding to do an intervention one must decide the following: 1. Do I love the person enough to give them what they need instead of what they want?

2. Is it better to have the person angry with them for a few days, or to be angry with themselves for the rest of their lives because they could have done something and chose not to?

Having made the decision to do an intervention, one must take the following steps: 1. Who is going to be involved in the intervention? People who care about the person and recognize the problem of the addict is of course the obvious answer. Additional qualifications for an intervention participant need to be taken into consideration: a. Is the person strong enough to follow through with consequences if they need to? b. Can the person hold their temper and control their emotions during the intervention. c. Can this person be trusted not to warn the addict either deliberately or accidentally? d. Will the person be a positive or negative influence on the addict? One must remember that some people are like fire and gasoline, and those will automatically make the addict resist.

2. Decide on the intervention leader. This can either be a friend, a family member, or a professional. If the family can afford it, it is a good idea to hire a professional interventionist. If they can’t then the family and friends can do it without professional help. Here are the steps to take: a. Decide on a time and place for the intervention to take place. b. Choose a leader. c. Have each person write a letter to the addict. The letter should be in three parts: i. I love you very much, however; I cannot continue to accept your negative behaviors. On _______date you__________ and you scared me. (eg.

Ran over the baby’s bicycle in the yard). I cannot stand by and watch you kill yourself. Please accept the gift of treatment that we are offering you.

If the addict responds yes, immediately put those into the car or plane and off they go to treatment. If the addict says no, then the second part of the letter is read. ii. If you choose not to accept treatment the following consequences will occur.

(List the things that will happen. Eg: we will not help you with money, you will lose your job, you will not be allowed to see family members, your marriage will end, etc. ) Again if the addict agrees to treatment, off they go. If not step three occurs: iii. Consequences are implemented. Families must hold strong. The consequences that they have threatened must be implemented and adhered to. This means if the addict makes contact, the first question asked is, “are you ready to go for treatment?” If the answer is yes, off they go. If the answer is no, hang up the phone.

Prior to the intervention participants should practice reading their letters. They should also have someone role play the addict so that they are prepared to answer any objections or obstacles the addict may raise to treatment. (eg. I need to take care of my dog. Someone has to be ready to assume that responsibility taking away the excuse from the addict) Also prior to the intervention, a treatment program should be chosen and a bed reserved. The program will be able to tell you what additional arrangements for admission must be made.

In closing, I would ask you to remember, love is giving a person what they need not what they want. Cowards will back down. I hope and pray that those who read this and know someone who needs an intervention will stand up and have the courage to save a life.

Mitchell E. Wallick PhD CAP CAGC is Executive Director of Professional Training Association @ CARE.

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The Truth is Relentless

By Lisa Neuman

We don’t aspire to tell another they’ve got life wrong. We desperately hope they see what a mess they are making of their life—our life. We hint at them to reverse the wrongs. When we are finished hinting, we plead. Yet the words evaporate as we speak.

We turn the focus on self. How did we fail? What could we have done differently?

Why aren’t we worth listening to? Don’t they see how much we love them? If only we could find the answer and give it to them. If only they would receive this beautiful answer and start living. If only …

And so it goes this way until something breaks. We’re never prepared for a breaking point and since life doesn’t come with a fast-forward preview we must deal with what is in front of us. We deal with life moment to moment, not even day to day. The answer for all of us is in this moment.

Who do I want to be in this moment? Whether I am the addict or the one who loves the addict the answers do not come quickly or easily. In many cases they never come at all.

So I am left to ponder this thought: If I can’t change them how do I change me?

Who do I choose to be? If I do not know who I want to be, if I haven’t make a clear decision on how I want to respond it will be left to chance. It will be an autoresponse based on nothing but past reaction—past programming. My best chance at my best now is to get to know me. Get to know me so well that no matter what happens, I have given those I love—given myself— my best. *** I have been the one who pleaded. I have been the recipient of pleading. Neither has been pleasant. As both a recovered addict and a recovered co-dependent, this is what I have learned and these are the principles I teach.

Getting sober is easy. Most functioning addicts can do this for a little while.

They can also do this repeatedly with little evidence of having learned anything.

Staying sober is the issue. This requires continued effort at self-examination and willingness to apply new knowledge. Neither of these are hallmarks of an addict.

Even when we want to change, it is difficult to call forth the fortitude to persevere through the pain of early sobriety. And it is incredibly painful.

The only thing that can make staying sober less painful is the knowledge of the pain of drinking again. When that pain has become bad enough, then we are willing to change our ways. We don’t want to be without alcohol, but we grudgingly try anyway. On a difficulty scale, drinking ranks 9.9 out of ten. Sobriety ranks 9.8 out of ten. Not any easy choice. Especially because we have to feel the pain of sobriety and we get to anesthetize when we drink. It is fair to say no addict wants sobriety, yet every addict that has achieved true sobriety wouldn’t give it up.

We get to face the fact that we are different. We will always be different and alcohol has no business being in our body. Yes, this is what addicts get to face.

You can fight it all you want, but that won’t change it. The truth stands alone.

The truth doesn’t need you to believe it. The truth doesn’t care if you believe it. In other words, truth isn’t determined by how many people notice you’re an addict. The truth just is.

Staying sober is about facing you. Looking at all the stuff you would rather not look at. Sobriety is about getting to know yourself. Getting to know yourself so well that you can go anywhere, do anything, and be with anyone. All of this you can do without a drink or a drug.

Staying sober is about listening, questioning, clarifying, journaling, sharing, and healing. None of us addicts wanted to do this work. It was absolutely the last thing on the to-do list of our lifetime. And yet it was what we had to do if we were to remain sober. This sobriety thing … a thing we weren’t even sure we wanted. This we had to embrace.

If you are the addict, here is the truth of what you can expect. Stop waiting for a good day to get sober. They are all good. Stop waiting for sobriety to be easy. It will never be easy. If it was easy you would have accomplished this feat already. It is difficult and painful and we face it anyway. It will be hard and you will wonder why you’re doing it. Be prepared for the long haul. Get a permanent sobriety date and stick to it.

Surround yourself with a fellowship. There are many local communities as well as online. Find a mentor. Addicts, you are not thinking clearly when you are new in sobriety. A trusted resource is your best chance at reprogramming the way you think and function. Don’t look for excuses to drink. You won’t have to look very far.

You are programmed to drink and this is what you will do until you exercise your right to choose differently. Stop blaming everyone for your situation. Your situation

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is of your own creation. There is a solution. You just don’t like the solution and because you don’t like it, you feel you have the right to say there isn’t one. We have a solution and it begins with abstinence. We do not drink under any circumstances.

If you are the co-dependent this is what you can expect. Stop waiting for the day that your addict will get sober. They are addicted to alcohol; you’re addicted to them getting sober. Get on with your life. Any day is a good day to do this. If you have given your best love and effort, set them free to experience the consequences of their choices. It is not your job to fix them. It is not your job to make getting sober easy for them. It is their job to face the truth of what they have willingly created and find the courage to make some changes. They will not make changes as long as you keep them comfy. You have now become part of the problem if you are making them comfortable so they can get sober.

I am not suggesting you be unloving. I am suggesting you redefine your definition of love. Be prepared for the long haul, you will be growing too. To some degree you have become part of the problem (understandably so), nevertheless, your focus will need to shift. You must begin taking care of yourself. Surround yourself with fellowship. Again, there are many online and local communities that provide tremendous support. You are not alone. There is a solution for you to be happy.

You may not like it, nevertheless it is a solution. You can want to change the addict all you want. It will never work. It needs to come from within them.

Until everyone in the dynamic faces themselves, the dynamic will not heal.

Recovery isn’t from alcohol or drugs. Recovery is from our thinking. We need to recover from the way we think and function in our world.

If a truth in your life keeps relentlessly visiting you, why not stop and take a look. See what it might be saying or suggesting. Get your thoughts out of your head and onto a piece of paper. Be willing to take a look at a new truth about you—this moment.

Who knows, this may be the moment that changes your life forever.

Lisa Neumann is the author of Sober Identity: Tools for Reprogramming the Addictive Mind. She is a life skills recovery coach who works with individuals and families affected by addiction. Lisa is the creator of the recovery program SoberID™ www.soberidentity.com or info@soberid.com

To Advertise, Call 561-910-1943

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Developing Effective Coping Skills – Key Points

By Ann Goelitz Key Points • Coping skills are individual and vary based on personal tastes, upbringing, and cultural background.

• Coping skills tend to be automatic responses requiring little attention so that many individuals are not aware of how they cope.

• These learned behaviors are often acquired while growing up from adults unaware of what they are teaching.

• Coping can be both effective and helpful or ineffective and at times harmful.

• Harmful coping includes substance abuse, gambling, overspending, overeating, aggressive behaviors, and self-mutilation.

• These harmful behaviors are attempts to cope.

• Improving coping requires not only utilizing effective coping skills but also becoming conscious of automatic coping responses.

• Awareness makes it possible to ascertain when coping is effective.

• Even effective coping can be harmful if utilized excessively such as with compulsive exercising.

• Balance is an important aspect of coping.

• Effective coping for one person may not work for another.

• Effective coping may not work under all circumstances even for the same individual.

• Everyone needs a large arsenal of coping skills to choose from.

• If one coping skill does not work, others must continue to be tried until an effective solution is found.

Coping as Adaptation Adaptation is the series of adjustments we make as we attempt to fit in with our surroundings. From a biological point of view this is natural selection – species are selected for survival based on their unique traits. Those who survive are able to reproduce while others die out because they cannot adjust adequately.

From a behavioral science point of view, adaptation increases our ability to live effectively despite physical, emotional, and psychological stressors that can include illness, insufficient resources, losses, interpersonal conflict, and substance abuse. Stress occurs when we feel that adapting to circumstances is either difficult or impossible. Although stress is a part of life, it is an individual experience that is based not only on circumstances but also on how we choose to react to them. Our reactions tend to be emotional, emotion can exacerbate stress, and addicts often have difficulty regulating emotion.

Despite this, we can choose how we react to stress. In my own practice, for example, I have worked with individuals with severe and long lasting chronic pain, who have had very different responses to this condition. A middle-aged man, who I will call Azi, experienced continuous pain for over 20 years. Despite this, he managed to lead a normal life and to maintain a positive attitude. He had a philosophy of acceptance. His way of adapting to his medical condition was to continue on with life despite the pain, living as he always had. He also got support from both his religion and his community of family and friends. When he came to meet with staff in the outpatient clinic he always came with an entourage from his community, demonstrating how much help he had.

On the other end of the spectrum, a teenage girl named Julia who was suffering from intense periodic pain became histrionic when it occurred, yelling in her school classroom and frightening her classmates. Her intense emotional response to pain changed her experience of it so that it was much more stressful for her as a result. She said that she yelled when the pain occurred because she was afraid and did not know what to do. She had no other way to cope. Although I heard about a large family, I do not remember ever meeting anyone and I knew her through several hospital stays.

Azi’s and Julia’s experiences of pain were very different. Both felt the stress engendered by the pain but Julia’s pain was magnified by her emotional response, causing even more stress and increasing her suffering. She also saw the pain as out of control which was why she yelled. Azi accepted the pain instead of fighting it and thus did not feel out of control. He complained less of pain as a result. Julia had no other way to cope so she complained often. This illustrates that adaptive coping can affect our perception of pain.

These individuals’ disparate reactions also demonstrate that coping, which is a step towards adaptation, is just as individual as the experience of stress. Age is one factor that influences the individual ways people cope. Azi and Julia are clearly at different stages of their lives. Azi’s life experience as an older man may have added to his ability to cope.

With less time behind her to develop skills, Julia’s coping experience was more limited.

Teenagers can also be emotional and impulsive, negatively impacting coping. Despite this, many young people cope well whereas some adults do not. Experience provides time to develop skills but this does not mean the skills will be effective. Consequently, coping does not necessarily improve with age. In addition, coping skills are learned.

Teenagers can learn good coping just as adults can.

In order to learn effective coping and thus adapt to stress, we need to appraise our emotional responses and identify issues that need to be dealt with. The contemplative awareness or mindfulness employed in the appraisal process decreases negative emotions and their outcome. It also provides a “pause” in which we can choose our responses rather than react without thought to the consequences.

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Choosing effective ways to cope such as asking for help or employing spiritual practices has been found to generate positive emotions, which contribute to adaptation when stressed. Purposefully regulating emotions promotes resiliency. This skill, which can be taught, is an important component of happiness. Smiling, for instance, produces changes in the brain reflecting pleasure even when it is done on command. This is just one example of how coping can change how we react to stress in our lives.

Coping Defined Coping encourages adaptation. This includes adapting to circumstances and the stress they engender. Coping is essential because stress is a part of life, connected not only to crises but also to the daily conflicts, difficulties, frustrations, and disappointments regularly encountered in life. Since everyone experiences stress, everyone also needs to know how to cope in order to maintain balance and effectively adapt. Coping can include everything from basic self-care, such as eating and performing other activities of daily living, to more sophisticated methodologies, such as meditation and yoga. Here are some examples of coping mechanisms commonly used by individuals: music for relaxation, reading for distraction and a new perspective, physical exercise for positive affects of endorphins and discharge of negative emotions, talking to friends for positive connection and support, spiritual and religious activities for support, being in nature for relaxation and rejuvenation, and utilizing humor to change perspective and relax.

Coping is effective when it is conscious and based on reason. We learn how to cope as we grow up and can both enhance what we have learned and develop new ways to cope if we have an awareness and understanding of how coping works. Coping can be defined as our effort to navigate life transitions and the associated emotions. Becoming aware of how ineffective yelling is when things go wrong is the first step in changing it as a method of coping. Realizing that this is a learned response that was perhaps modeled by a parent helps us understand why it is a coping method that has been used until now. Both steps are important in the process of redirecting our adaptational efforts to coping skills that will have more positive results. This is an ongoing effort that is essential for all but even more so for those in recovery from substance abuse, who are working hard to build new lives amidst much change and transition. It is an effort that will show prodigious results, contributing to the joy of this new way of life.

Ann Goelitz, PhD, LCSW, author of From Trauma to Healing and Coping Made Easy.

646-265-5028, http://DrAnnTherapy.com, http://CopingMadeEasy.com

To Advertise, Call 561-910-1943

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A MARCHMAN ACT CASE STUDY:

By Myles B. Schlam, J.D.,CAP/CCJAP

The Client was referred to us by a very respected Psychologist. Her daughter was completely out of control - running away, drinking and smoking crack in the “hood”. She was also suffering from Bi-polar disorder and Schizophrenia. My job was to have her Marchman Acted or courtordered into treatment. I was warned that this Client could get belligerent. I went to the mother’s house on a Saturday to conduct the Assessment.

to receive the assessment. We prefer to go to court with the assessment in hand so that treatment can be ordered ASAP. The standard time period ordered for treatment is 60 days. If longer treatment is necessary, a “Petition for Extension of Treatment” can be filed with the court. An extension period of up to 90 days may be granted by the court.

It was clear to me that this Client was in need of psychiatric therapy in addition to substance abuse treatment. I filed the petition in the mental health division of the clerk’s office. When the Court date arrived I presented my assessment which opined that this Respondent was a danger to herself and others and that she could not make a rational decision on her own regarding treatment. Evidence was stated to support this clinical determination.

ASI will handle Marchman Act cases in all counties throughout the State of Florida, although we are based in tri-county area (Dade, Broward and Palm Beach). Many times the process itself serves as a very effective Intervention tool. The threat of jail time has a way of convincing some addicts to accept the help that is being offered to them. The process can be tough on the entire family, not just the addict. Our goal is to facilitate this process for the families and to be there for them throughout the entire process. That is why we stay involved in each case for up to six months.

The Court submitted to my findings and ordered the Respondent to Treatment for a period of 60 days. Because this Client was indigent and did not have health insurance, she was ordered into BARC, the county addiction receiving facility (in Broward County). However, BARC declined to treat this Client, even with a court order, because they do not treat clients with certain mental disorders - specifically Schizophrenia. In addition, this Client had been on the “waiting list” for another county-operated residential facility for three months and was not getting in any time soon.

Circumstances often change and we need to be able to think and act quickly sometimes thinking outside “the box”. The coordination of a Treatment Plan is something that should be tailored to the individual needs of each client. For that reason, ASI is affiliated with a large network of excellent treatment providers throughout the region. One of our primary focuses is strong Case Management. There should not be lapses between levels of treatment, but a smooth and gradual transition. We will not recommend a discharge before it is clinically appropriate.

After being denied treatment at BARC, it became necessary for this Client to be “Baker-Acted” on two occasions- one after an assault on her thenpregnant sister. The second had been filed in Domestic Violence Court as a result of Client breaking a restraining order. By this time, the Client was in the mental health unit of the jail for a period of almost a month. She had refused to take her medication and refused to come to court on one occasion.

Any questions or comments about the Marchman Act or other Interventions can be referred to ASI at mschlam@drugtreatmentpro.com.

This case dragged on for almost 5 months in Marchman Court, with multiple hearings. One treatment facility agreed to admit her for “assessment and stabilization” only to discharge her on the 4th day.

Medicaid would not cover anything longer. The Respondent could not go home, because her mother and sister were in fear for their safety. It was a sad realization that the mental health unit of the county jail was the only place where this twenty-four year old female could get treatment.

Finally, the Judge compelled her to come to court and I proposed the best plan I could coordinate under the circumstances. A major issue was the fact that the Client had Medicaid which will not cover any Residential treatment facilities. We were able to find an Assisted Living Facility (ALF) which specializes in mental health clients.

We arranged for a Mental Health facility in the community to pick up the client from the ALF a few times a week for out-patient day treatment and case management. It has been a few weeks, her medications have been stabilized, and things seem to be going well. She actually likes the ALF and has made some friends there. I have been coordinating treatment between the facilities as well as attending all court status hearings.

One of the things I learned from this experience is that Florida is in serious and dire need of County/ State-funded residential treatment facilities for Clients with Co-occurring Disorders (formerly known as “Dual Diagnosis”.

I realize that the budget is tight, but we need to make the treatment of mental health and addiction clients a priority. In the end, the dollars spent on treatment will pay for themselves.

The Marchman Act has many “loopholes” and must be approached with caution. For example, had I found a treatment facility outside the county willing to admit this client, the court would have been without authority to enforce an order to that facility. Another issue is Due Process. Every Respondent to a Marchman act is entitled to be served in person. What if the respondent is homeless or has no fixed address because they are jumping from one drug motel to another? The problem is that we may be excluding the very segment of the population most in need of these interventions. At ASI, we use a private detective agency to handle the service of all Marchman Act Respondents. They will continue to attempt service multiple times if necessary.

The first step of a Marchman Act Petition is for a “Petition for Assessment” to be filed with the Court. The Respondent must be evaluated by a qualified addictions professional before the Court will order treatment for that individual. At ASI, we are Certified Addictions Professionals capable of performing Assessments of the Respondents. This saves time, which is of the essence. In the alternative, the respondent would have to be sent to a county Marchman receiving facility, where there is usually a waiting period

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Myles B. Schlam, J.D.,CAP/CCJAP Advocare Solutions, Inc.- Executive Director (954) 804-6888 www.drugtreatmentpro.com *Myles B. Schlam is a nationally recognized expert in Drug Addiction and the Criminal Justice System and an Internationally Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor. He is one of 100+ Criminal Justice Addiction Professionals (CCJAP) in the State of Florida. Mr. Schlam graduated from the St. Thomas University School of Law in 2002. ASI is licensed by the Florida Department of Children and Families and operates in Palm Beach and Broward Counties.

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Learn to Be Optimistic

By Bajeerao Patil

I know it is difficult to be optimistic when we constantly encounter negativity and pessimism around us. Remember, recovery is all about hope, so your best option is to be optimistic and cultivate the hope of recovery. Trust me, without hope you won’t be able to maintain sobriety. Optimistic people are hopeful, confident, cheerful and positive in their attitude. On the other hand, pessimistic people are hopeless, depressed, suspicious and negative in their attitude. They don’t look forward to life.

As long as you remain pessimistic, you will continue to feel hopeless and lack the necessary enthusiasm to stay in recovery. You will be gloomy and lethargic.

However, since you have decided to maintain sobriety, it is essential for you to develop a positive attitude and learn to look on the bright side of life. You have to train yourself to look at situations differently and learn to expect positive results from your earnest efforts.

Let me tell you a well-known story about attitude. Once, two marketing managers were assigned the task of assessing a certain region in Africa to ascertain the potential to market their brand of shoes. Both managers had remarkably different outlooks and attitudes toward life. After reaching the assigned territory, both managers noticed that no one was wearing shoes. The pessimistic manager immediately concluded that they wouldn’t understand the concept of shoes since they apparently had never seen or heard of shoes in their entire lives. Disappointed, he left the region without trying.

The optimistic manager, who was extremely self-confident, said to himself, “What an opportunity to sell shoes! No one in the region is wearing them. Their feet are cracked and hurting. With effective communication and demonstration, I can make them understand the concept of shoes and market the brand to the entire region. I’ll be the first person to make shoes available to them and, in turn, my company will make a tremendous profit.”

Without wasting time daydreaming and using a highly effective display, he immediately began to explain the concept of wearing shoes. Before the day was out, his sales team had sold their entire stock and called in an order for more from the warehouse. Sooner than he thought possible, he became a millionaire, whereas the other marketing manager lost his job and, in frustration, began drinking.

Optimistic people tend to trust their own judgment and always expect positive results from their sincere efforts. Whereas, pessimistic people expect the worst, become desperate and hardly try. They are easily discouraged and afraid of challenges. They have difficulty realizing that life itself is full of challenges, and there are no exceptions to the law of nature. We all have to tackle our daily challenges effectively. It is vital to remember that every night has a bright upcoming morning attached to it, so keep looking forward to bright mornings instead of anticipating gloomy nights during which you begin drinking or using other mood-altering chemicals.

Your attitude plays a very important role in recovery. Without drastically changing your ideas and attitude, you won’t be able to maintain sobriety. You have a choice to be positive or negative in your attitude. The choice is yours, but, if you are serious about your recovery, you should also be serious about developing a positive attitude. Talk to people who are full of life, befriend people with a positive attitude and read self-help books to help you to develop a positive attitude.

Jay is a 53-year-old very intelligent lawyer. He is married and has three schoolage children. Sadly, he is a chronic alcoholic and has turned into an extremely negative person. When he is in a drunken stupor, he uses foul language in the presence of his children and resorts to calling his wife’s relatives derogatory names. He blames others for his drinking and does not accept responsibility for his erratic behavior. He is in denial. He finds fault with everything around him and refuses to seek help.

When drinking, he fails to attend to court matters and ends up refunding money to clients who pay him in advance. Before he started drinking, he was a well-respected lawyer and other lawyers consulted him over difficult matters.

Now, however, no one is willing to seek advice from him or refer clients to him because they don’t want to risk their own reputation. They are afraid of his unpredictable irresponsible behavior. They don’t want to take a chance or lose business on his account.

Oblivious to reality, he is unable to see his own role in his downfall and resorts to calling his colleagues selfish and challenging them. Recently, he has been verbally and physically aggressive toward those who advised him to seek help. The people who knew him as a gentlemen, were shocked because they couldn’t imagine he would stoop that low.

He is neither concerned about his reputation, nor does he want to be a

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responsible person. He will stop drinking for a couple of weeks, then he tends to a couple of court matters and, once he is paid, he goes binge drinking. Now this behavior has become his pattern. There doesn’t seem to be any end to it because he is pessimistic and does not look forward to living. He is allowing alcohol to destroy his reputation and ruin him completely.

There is constant tension in his house. His relationship with his wife and children has become strenuous. They are thinking of leaving him forever, but it seems he doesn’t care. He has become self-centered and thinks only of his next drink. He has stopped paying for his children’s tuition, and they no longer go to their karate classes. They are losing focus and performing poorly in school. His hopelessness and irresponsible behavior have become a cause of ruin for the entire family. The situation is truly disheartening.

Without hope, no one will be able to recover. Hope helps us look forward to living, whereas hopelessness forces us to focus on the negative aspects of life. Once you become hopeful, you will be able to take the first step to your recovery; you will be able to look forward to living life and stop making wrong choices. If you have decided to remain in recovery, be hopeful and start implementing the action plan that you think will help you to maintain your recovery. Don’t wait, start NOW. Bajeerao Patil is an author, therapist and HR professional who brings over 23 years of experience to the addictions and human resources field.

Bajeerao is currently working as drug and alcohol counselor in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Bajeerao specializes in the areas of addiction, anger management, time management, interpersonal relationship, reality therapy and recovery. His book about addiction “Insanity Beyond Understanding” is currently available on his website: http://www.bajeeraopatil.com, Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com and also in local bookstores.

His soon to be published books are: Born Untouchable Build Your Recovery Don’t Screw It Up How to Bounce Back When Life Knocks You Down This particular article is an excerpt from his upcoming book Build your Recovery...Don’t Screw it Up.

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Addiction, Recovery, and Coming Out of Our Comfort Zones

By Candace Plattor, M.A.

I believe that every person on this planet, without exception, uses at least one addictive behavior designed to distract them from having to deal with difficult feelings and painful situations. As controversial as that statement may be for some people, I stand by it.

THE MOST COMMON “COMFORT ZONES” In my experience, both personal and professional, I have seen this over and over again. There are a great many options we can select from in order to cover up our discomfort; the most common in our society include alcohol and/or drug misuse, smoking cigarettes, gambling, preoccupation with food, being glued for hours to our computer screens, compulsive shopping and over-spending, compulsion and obsession with sex, and people-pleasing in our relationships. Even though we all choose our favorite ways to conceal our suffering, the result is the same: until we find our way out, we remain stuck in our “comfort zones” and our self-respect dwindles as time goes on.

Even today, with 23 years clean and sober from mind-altering substances, I still find it difficult to stay away from rich, dark, organic, delicious chocolate. (My mouth waters at the very thought of it!) Aside from simply loving the taste of it, I am amazed by how often I want to reach for that when anything comes up that is even a bit stressful for me to deal with. I am grateful that I have some self-awareness about this - there was certainly a very long time when I had no understanding of the many ways I used substances and behaviors addictively in the past.

The truth is that no matter how small, “safe,” or innocuous the behavior may seem to be, if we are using it to hide from ourselves in any way, we are using it addictively. The more difficult or devastating the behavior, the more problematic it becomes over time to stop engaging in it.

“DISTRACTION” vs. “ADDICTION” When people decide to begin their recovery from addiction, they often do so by giving up their drug (or other addictive behavior) of choice, while continuing other behaviors that may also be contributing other damaging effects into their lives. This only delays and prolongs the recovery process, because in order to truly have control over themselves, they must learn to face reality without hiding from it in any way.

with some addictive behavior or substance, we will never be able to fully change, heal, and grow.

It often takes tremendous courage for a person to decide to be honest enough to become truly self-aware. It is important to pat yourself on the back repeatedly if you are making the choice to come out of your comfort zones and heal yourself of your addictions. In my opinion, that is really the only way out of the suffering you have probably been feeling for a long time.

But if, like most people, you are still hesitant about giving up your favorite ways to hide from life, maybe you could think about it this way: If you’ve been struggling for a while already with no end in sight, hiding from your reality with addictive behaviors, wouldn’t it be better to tolerate some discomfort that will lead to a better life instead?

If you are considering making some changes and coming out of your comfort zones, there are many ways to reach out for help: support groups (in person and online), caring friends and family members, and skilled professionals are but a few. Even if you have been suffering in silence, you don’t have to be in recovery alone ~ there are many of us who know how you feel and will be there for you when you’re ready. Good luck!

Candace Plattor, M.A., R.C.C., is a therapist in private practice, specializing in addictive behaviors such as Substance Misuse, Eating Disorders, Internet Addiction, Smoking, Gambling, Compulsive OverSpending, and Relationship Addiction.

Candace offers individual, couple, and family counseling in her Vancouver, BC office and by telephone worldwide. She also counsels family and friends whose loved ones are struggling with addiction, and provides Clinical Supervision for therapists working with addicts and their loved ones.

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That being said, I do believe that it is both healthy and appropriate to have hobbies and interests that keep us sane in the face of life’s hardships.

Without them, it could become just too difficult to face the world each day. But what is vitally important is the willingness to be able to tell the difference between a minor distraction and a full-blown addiction.

For example, many people like to come home after a long day at work and have a drink, perhaps a glass of wine or two with dinner, and watch the news or a favorite television show. There is nothing wrong with that.

But if the first thing someone does when they get home is turn on the TV and get the alcohol poured, that could signal a problem ~ especially if the person watches TV all evening with a 6-pack or two of beer as a usual occurrence. It’s very important to be able to distinguish the difference between using substances and behaviors once in a while, and using them addictively in order to take oneself away from difficult and pressing realities of life.

Comfort zones develop when we find ways to relieve ourselves of our feelings on a regular basis. For most people it’s about finding that relief from the “negative” emotions such as anger, boredom, sadness, and fear. Some people, however, need to find relief from the more “positive” feelings of happiness and contentment because, deep down, they don’t believe they deserve to feel that way about themselves and their lives.

WE CAN’T HEAL WHAT WE CAN’T FEEL The pivotal thing to realize is that comfort zones keep us from learning about ourselves ~ and self-awareness is always the first step in making healthy and lasting changes. As Dr. Phil so aptly tells us, “We can’t heal what we won’t acknowledge.” If we’re not willing to be aware of it and feel it (whatever “it” is for each of us) without medicating ourselves

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Back to the Basics of Recovery - Step Five

By Wally P.

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

In a previous article, I described how, during A.A.’s early days, the sponsor and sponsee together filled out the liabilities side of an assets and liabilities checklist. Now it is time for us to choose the person or persons with whom we share this inventory. In order to recover, it is essential that we confide in someone.

In the second paragraph on page 72, the “Big Book” authors tell us why we admit our faults to another person: “. . . The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods.

Almost invariably they got drunk.”

Sponsees tell their “life story” about the events and situations on the one-page inventory sheet. Sometimes it takes only a few items to get down to “causes and conditions.” Once they “come to believe” in the process and experience the relief and release that result from talking about the things that had been blocking them from a spiritual solution to their problems, they become much more willing to conduct additional inventories in the future.

Today, this is referred to as “peeling the onion.” We deal with the first few “items in stock” during the initial inventory. This prepares us to dig deeper and deeper during subsequent inventories.

The “Big Book” authors tell us that taking inventory is an ongoing process. They write at the top of page 71, “If you have made an inventory of your grosser handicaps, you have made a good beginning.”

So this is just the first of many inventories to come. As some A.A. pioneers used to say, “We take the Steps quickly and often.”

How thorough is this simple and straightforward inventory? It was thorough enough to produce a 50-75% recovery rate during the 1940’s and thorough enough to produce similar results today.

Sponsees can share their inventory with any number of people. It may be the person who helped put the list together, but it doesn’t have to be.

The “Big Book” authors provide other options. Starting with the fourth paragraph on page 73, they describe some of the people with whom sponsees can discuss their checklist: “We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world. Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person or persons with whom to take this intimate and confidential step. . . . Though we have no religious connection, we may still do well to talk with someone ordained by an established religion.

“If we cannot or would rather not do this, we search our acquaintance for a close-mouthed, understanding friend.

Perhaps our doctor or psychologist will be the person.”

Of critical importance is confidentiality. The “Big Book” authors list some of professionals who are legally bound to keep a secret. This “privilege” protects communications between certain individuals and keeps these communications private. The people listed in the “Big Book” who have this legal protection are members of religious, medical, and mental health communities. Attorneys also have this “privilege.”

This legal protection, the “clergy-parishioner privilege,” the “physicianpatient privilege,” and the “attorney-client privilege,” is not absolute– there are exceptions. But, this “privilege” does NOT include A.A. sponsors. This is why both sponsor and sponsee must be cautious about what is shared during a Fifth Step. Events that may be construed as criminal or abusive are best discussed with someone legally bound to keep a secret.

Not withstanding the necessity of being careful, sponsees need to share their inventory as soon as possible. The “Big Book” authors confirm this in the first paragraph on page 75: “When we decide who is to hear our story, we waste no time. We have a written inventory and we are prepared for a long talk.”

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A key concept from the 1940’s was, “The healing is in the sharing not in the writing.” Nothing was put on paper that could be potentially incriminating. Today, this concept can be summarized as, “Do not put anything in writing that can be used against you in a court of law.” This is why, in the early days, an inventory consisted of a few generic names on a checklist.

When Dr. Bob took sponsees through the Fifth Step, which he did more than 5,000 times, he discussed their assets as well as their liabilities.

He knew that most of them were overwhelmed and horrified by the shame, guilt, apprehension and fear associated with their alcoholic behavior. They had a poor self-image and low self-confidence. These people tended to treat themselves badly.

Dr. Bob would counter this lack of self-esteem, by encouraging and uplifting them. He would talk about the assets they already had and those that would be strengthened as the result of making restitution to those they had harmed and forgiving those who had harmed them.

In the next article, I will describe Steps Six and Seven. Some A.A. oldtimers called these steps the “second surrender.”

Wally P. is an archivist, historian and author who, for more than twentythree years, has been studying the origins and growth of the Twelvestep movement. He is the caretaker for the personal archives of Dr. Bob and Anne Smith.

Wally conducts history presentations and recovery workshops, including “Back to the Basics of Recovery” in which he takes attendees through all Twelve Steps in four, one-hour sessions. More than 500,000 have taken the Steps using this powerful, time-tested, and highly successful “original” program of action.

On March 16, 2013, Wally will be conducting a “Back to Basics” workshop in Fort Myers, FL. For more information, please go to www. aabacktobasics.org.

Back to Basics Basics--101 An introduction to the Twelve Steps of Recovery

During this seventy-five minute DVD, Wally Paton, noted archivist, historian and author, takes you through all Twelve Steps the way they were taken during the early days of the Twelve-Step movement. Experience the miracle of recovery as Wally demonstrates the sheer simplicity and workability of the process that has saved millions of lives throughout the past seventy years.

Wally has taken more than 500,000 through the Twelve Steps in his Back to the Basics of Recovery seminars. He has made this “Introduction to the Twelve Steps” presentation hundreds of times at treatment centers, correctional facilities, and recovery workshops and conferences around the world.

This is a DVD for newcomers and old-timers alike. You can watch it in its entirety or divide it into three segments: Surrender (Steps 1, 2 and 3); Sharing and Amends (Steps 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9); and Guidance (Steps 10, 11 and 12).

The accompanying CD contains twenty-four pages of PDF presentation materials for facilitators and handouts for participants.

Here is everything you need to take or take others through the Twelve Steps “quickly and often.”

Wally has modified the “Big Book” passages so they are gender neutral and applicable to all addictions and compulsive disorders. In keeping with the Twelve-Step community’s tradition of anonymity, he does not identify himself, or anyone else in this DVD, as a member of any Twelve-Step program.

This DVD was recorded at the Public Broadcasting Service television studio in Tucson, AZ using high definition cameras, flat screen graphics, and PowerPoint overlays. It is a state-ofthe-art production that is both instructive and enlightening. “It works—it really does.”

To order this DVD plus CD, please contact: Faith With Works Publishing Company P. O. Box 91648 ~ Tucson, AZ 85752 520-297-9348 ~ www.aabacktobasics.org DVD+CD Price: $79.95 + $11.05 (priority s/h) Total Price: $91.00

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Secondhand Drinking/Drugging (SHDD): Understand It, Prevent It and We Can Go a Long Ways to Reducing Underage Substance Abuse | Addiction

By Lisa Frederiksen

Secondhand Drinking/Drugging (SHDD) is a term to describe the impacts on others of a person’s drinking or drug abuse behaviors. These behaviors include: verbal, physical and emotional abuse, pointless arguments, fights, unwanted or unprotected sex, driving while impaired – the behaviors a person exhibits when under the influence or drugs or alcohol. These behaviors, in turn, impact the physical and mental health of the person who’s repeatedly on the receiving end, such as a spouse or child. Helping readers understand SHDD and the SHDD and Substance Abuse Connection can go a long way to preventing and reducing underage drinking or drug use.

WHAT THIS MEANS There are several entry points to the disease of addiction (whether it’s an addiction to alcohol or drugs) and the condition of alcohol or drug abuse. They are called risk factors. Many of them are the result of secondhand drinking/drugging – in other words, the impacts a person experiences as the result of someone else’s abusive drinking/drugging and/or alcoholism/drug addiction. There are five key risk factors and they include: • Genetics – persons whose parent or sibling has the brain disease of addiction may have a genetic predisposition towards the disease as well. This does not mean there’s an addiction gene, rather it may be lower levels of dopamine or dopamine receptors or lower levels of the liver enzyme that breaks down alcohol, for example.

• Early use – because of the critical brain development that occurs from ages 12–25, an adolescent can become an alcoholic or drug addict in as little as 6 to 18 months; persons who begin drinking before the age of 15 are four times more likely to develop alcoholism than those who wait until 21, for example.

• Social environment – people who live, work or go to school in an environment in which the heavy use of alcohol or drugs is common – such as growing up in a home where heavy drinking is seen as ‘normal’ or in a school setting where it is viewed as an important way to bond with fellow students – are more likely to abuse alcohol and/or drugs themselves.

• Mental illness – just over one-half of persons diagnosed as alcoholics or alcohol abusers have also experienced a mental illness (e.g., depression, PTSD, ADHD, bipolar) at some time in their lives; mental illness causes chemical and structural changes in the brain, as does repeated alcohol/drug abuse or alcoholism/drug addiction. It can also cause a person to “self-medicate” with alcohol or drugs in an attempt to make the feelings caused by the mental illness go away.

• Childhood trauma – verbal, physical or emotional abuse or neglect of children, persistent conflict in the family (such as that surrounding a family member’s alcohol/ drug abuse or alcoholism/drug addiction), sexual abuse and other traumatic childhood experiences can shape a child’s brain chemistry and subsequent vulnerability to substance abuse and/or addiction.

HOW THIS CONNECTS The more risk factors – entry points – a person has, the more likely they are to develop a problem with alcohol/drug abuse and/or alcoholism/drug addiction. Take a young person who has grown up in a family where there is untreated alcohol abuse and/or alcoholism, for example. That young person potentially experiences three of these risk factors: Genetics, Childhood Trauma and Social Environment. That young person may also experience depression or anxiety as a consequence of the craziness that can exist in a family with untreated alcohol abuse and/or alcoholism, which presents a fourth risk factor – Mental Illness.

If that same young person decides to experiment with alcohol in middle school or high school because that’s what their peer group is into or they are provided alcohol by a drinking parent who has a skewed view of drinking anyway, and they find that drinking helps to relieve their sad and anxious feelings (at least while drinking), that young person now is faced with a fifth risk factor, Early Use. Each of these risk factors is a secondhand drinking impact — a ripple effect of someone else’s alcohol abuse and/or alcoholism.

WHAT UNDERSTANDING, TREATING and/or PREVENTION CAN DO Preventing or mitigating the entry points reduces the secondhand drinking/drugging impacts, which in turn, reduces the likelihood of a young person engaging in underage drinking or drug use/abuse and/or developing the disease of addiction. A bold claim, I realize, but we have a very successful model to follow for this approach — secondhand smoke.

When we were focused on trying to get the smoker to stop smoking, it was easy for those in their sphere to dismiss the problem as, “I don’t care if she smokes. Doesn’t bother me.”

Once new research proved the impacts of a person’s smoke on the health of others (i.e., secondhand smoke), there was a whole new appreciation for the far-reaching harm caused by an individual’s decision to smoke, and a whole new shift in society’s view and tolerance for secondhand smoke.

It is my opinion that if more of us understand the new brain research (see “What’s Changed” below) and secondhand drinking/drugging, we will have a key to reducing alcohol/drug abuse, underage drinking/drug use and addiction – much the same way secondhand smoking campaigns changed America’s smoking culture. Yes, this is a bold claim, but think about that same young person, again.

If his (or her) elementary school’s substance abuse education program had a piece on the new brain research that explains alcoholism as a chronic relapsing brain disease and just what that

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means, that young person may have been able to separate his parent (whom I’ll now refer to as his father) from his father’s drinking behaviors. He might have understood that the very nature of a brain disease means the disease changes the way a person thinks, acts, feels and therefore their behaviors because the brain controls everything we think, feel, say and do. That young person may have been able to understand it was his father under the influence of alcohol, not his father doing and saying the crazy, mean things. He may have been able to understand his mother’s behaviors (some of them just as crazy as his father’s) were the result of her reactions to his father’s drinking behaviors, not because he hadn’t cleaned his room or gotten all A’s or was always forgetting to put the toilet seat down.

In other words, he may have understood it was not him causing his parents’ behaviors — it was his father’s chronic relapsing brain disease – alcoholism – and his mother’s reactions to it (her SHD). He would have also learned his mother’s reactions were ‘normal’ when a person does not understand the disease of alcoholism or the condition of alcohol abuse, but they are not healthy or productive. He’d have understood his mother’s behaviors were the result of her desperate attempts to do something — anything — to make it stop; an impossible task that left her feeling angry, sad and frustrated every time she failed to do so.

All of this knowledge might have reduced that young person’s depression and anxiety because he would have understood early on that as long as his father drank and his mother did not understand a healthier way of coping with it, his father would continue those drinking behaviors and his mother would continue her reactions (some even more hurtful than his father’s behaviors!). Knowing this would have helped that young person understand that the only thing he could do was to get help with developing healthy coping skills himself, which his teacher and school counselor would have been aware of, given the enhanced substance abuse education programs that would have incorporated those, as well.

Armed with all of this new information, that child may have overcome and/or avoided entirely the risk factors he was facing as the consequence of secondhand drinking. And, who knows…that child’s teacher sending home some of the education materials may have helped a parent or two think about their own drinking patterns enough to change them or helped another parent or two better understand what alcoholism and/or alcohol abuse were really all about and what they could or could not do to help their spouse stop drinking.

(Okay, okay, YES, this is an oversimplification… but you get the idea.)

WHAT HAS CHANGED — WHY HASN’T THIS BEEN DONE BEFORE? It is being done. It’s just very, very new. Thanks to new brain imaging technologies of the past 10-15 years, neuroscientists and medical professionals can now study the live human brain like never before. Some of the resulting discoveries and research findings (many in just the past decade) are: • shedding new light on brain functioning and development, explaining how a person can become an alcoholic before age 21 and why a person who abuses alcohol ‘thinks’ and behaves the way they do • providing the visual evidence of the chemical and structural changes that occur in the brain as a result of alcohol/drug abuse and/or alcoholism/drug addiction (check out the brain scan blogs under the “Brain Scans” category to the right) • radically altering our understanding and/or treatments of - addiction (to drugs or alcohol — now understood to be a chronic relapsing brain disease), - alcohol / drug abuse (now understood to cause chemical and structural changes in the brain that can make a person more vulnerable to his/her risk factors), and - secondhand drinking/drugging, a term used to describe the impacts of a person’s alcohol or drug misuse on families, friends, co-workers, fellow students and society at large.

So, I urge all of us to be open to this new research and this new approach. Over one-half of American adults report having a loved one who drinks too much, for example. Think about this — that’s an average of 1 out of every 2 adults. One in four children in America will be exposed to a family member’s alcohol abuse, alcoholism or both before the age of 18. I urge all of us to learn as much as we can and to share this new brain and addiction-related research with others. Because the most important thing about ALL of THIS is that we’d be talking about it.

Who knows, with this approach, together we just may be able to cause a sea change in much the same way as tackling secondhand smoke changed the smoking culture in America. Now wouldn’t that be something…

Lisa Frederiksen is the author of nine books and a national keynote speaker with over 25 years public speaking experience. She has been consulting, researching, writing and speaking on substance abuse, addiction, treatment, mental illness, underage drinking, and help for the family since 2003. Her 40+ years experience with family and friends’ alcohol abuse and alcoholism, her own therapy and recovery work around those experiences, and her research for her blog, BreakingTheCycles.com, and books, including her most recent, Crossing The Line From Alcohol Use to Abuse to Dependence, frame her work. Lisa’s book, Loved One In Treatment? Now What!, offers more detail on the concepts she’s raised in her post (and it’s just over 100 pages, so it’s a relatively quick read!). She can be reached at lisaf@BreakingTheCycles.com.

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