Jan15 issue

‘TIS THE SEASON: AVOIDING RELAPSE IN NEW SOBRIETY DURING THE HOLIDAYS THE SILENT ASSAULT ON AMERICANS WITH ADDICTIONS: A NEW YEAR WITH OLD CHALLENGES SKIP THE REPEAT- HOW TO AVOID RELAPSING AFTER REHAB THE IMPORTANCE OF TARGETED ADDICTION TREATMENT FOR MEN AND WOMEN AGES 50+

CO-PARENTING FOR RECOVERY… HOW DIVORCED PARENTS CAN BEST SUPPORT THEIR ADDICTED CHILD I (STILL) WONDER EVERY LIFE IS WORTH SAVING: WHY FLORIDA NEEDS NALOXONE ACCESS LAWS UNITED UNDER THE FARR UMBRELLA A MOTHER’S AND DAUGHTER’S WORST NIGHTMARE DEVELOPING RESILIENCE: KEEPING THE ADOLESCENT FOCUSED RETURNING TO SCHOOL

A lasting recovery

starts here.

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A LETTER FROM THE PUBLISHER Dear Readers, I welcome you to The Sober World magazine. The Sober World is an informative magazine that’s designed to help parents and families who have loved ones struggling with addiction. We are a FREE printed publication in South Florida, as well as an online e-magazine reaching people globally in their search for information about Drug and Alcohol Abuse.

We directly mail our printed magazine each month to whoever has been arrested for drugs or alcohol in Palm Beach County as well as distributing locally to the schools, colleges, drug court, coffee houses, meeting halls, doctor offices and more throughout Palm Beach and Broward County. We also directly mail to rehabs throughout the country and have a presence at conferences nationally.

Our monthly magazine is available for free on our website at www.thesoberworld.com.

If you would like to receive an E-version monthly of the magazine, please send your e-mail address to patricia@thesoberworld.com Drug addiction has reached epidemic proportions throughout the country and is steadily increasing. It is being described as “the biggest man-made epidemic” in the United States. More people are dying from drug overdoses than from any other cause of injury death, including traffic accidents, falls or guns.

Many Petty thefts are drug related, as the addicts need for drugs causes them to take desperate measures in order to have the ability to buy their drugs. The availability of prescription narcotics is overwhelming; as parents our hands are tied.

Purdue Pharma, the company that manufactures Oxycontin generated $3.1 BILLION in revenue in 2010? Scary isn’t it?

Addiction is a disease but there is a terrible stigma attached to it. As family members affected by this disease, we are often too ashamed to speak to anyone about our loved ones addiction, feeling that we will be judged. We try to pass it off as a passing phase in their lives, and some people hide their head in the sand until it becomes very apparent such as through an arrest, getting thrown out of school or even worse an overdose, that we realize the true extent of their addiction.

I know that many of you who are reading this now are frantic that their loved one has been arrested. No parent ever wants to see his or her child arrested or put in jail, but this may be your opportunity to save your child or loved one’s life. They are more apt to listen to you now than they were before, when whatever you said may have fallen on deaf ears. This is the point where you know your loved one needs help, but you don’t know where to begin.

I have compiled this informative magazine to try to take that fear and anxiety away from you and let you know there are many options to choose from.

There are Psychologists and Psychiatrists that specialize in treating people with addictions. There are Education Consultants that will work with you to figure out what your loved ones needs are and come up with the best plan for them. There are Interventionists who will hold an intervention and try to convince your loved one that they need help. There are detox centers that provide medical supervision to help them through the withdrawal process, There are Transport Services that will scoop up your resistant loved one (under the age of 18 yrs. old) and bring them to the facility you have choTo Advertise, Call 561-910-1943

sen. There are long term Residential Programs (sometimes a year and longer) as well as short term programs (30-90 days), there are Therapeutic Boarding Schools, Wilderness programs, Extended Living and there are Sober Living Housing where they can work, go to meetings and be accountable for staying clean.

Many times a Criminal Attorney will try to work out a deal with the court to allow your child or loved one to seek treatment as an alternative to jail. I know how overwhelming this period can be for you and I urge every parent or relative of an addict to get some help for yourself. There are many groups that can help you. There is Al-Anon, Alateen (for teenagers), Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon and more. This is a disease that affects the whole family, not just the parents.

These groups allow you to share your thoughts and feelings. As anonymous groups, your anonymity is protected. Anything said within those walls are not shared with anyone outside the room. You share only your first name, not your last name. This is a wonderful way for you to be able to openly convey what has been happening in your life as well as hearing other people share their stories. You will find that the faces are different but the stories are all too similar. You will also be quite surprised to see how many families are affected by drug and alcohol addiction.

Addiction knows no race or religion; it affects the wealthy as well as the poor, the highly educated, old, young-IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. This magazine is dedicated to my son Steven who graduated with top honors from University of Central Florida. He graduated with a degree in Psychology, and was going for his Masters in Applied Behavioral Therapy.

He was a highly intelligent, sensitive young man who helped many people get their lives on the right course. He could have accomplished whatever he set his mind out to do. Unfortunately, after graduating from college he tried a drug that was offered to him not realizing how addictive it was and the power it would have over him.

My son was 7 months clean when he relapsed and died of a drug overdose. I hope this magazine helps you find the right treatment for your loved one. They have a disease and like all diseases, you try to find the best care suited for their needs. They need help.

Deaths from prescription drug overdose have been called the “silent epidemic” for years. There is approximately one American dying every 17 minutes from an accidental prescription drug overdose. Please don’t allow your loved one to become a statistic. I hope you have found this magazine helpful. You may also visit us on the web at www.thesoberworld.com.

We are on Face Book at www.facebook.com/pages/The-SoberWorld/445857548800036 or Steven Sober-World, Twitter at www.twitter. com/thesoberworld, and LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/pub/patriciarosen/51/210/955/.

I want to wish everyone a safe and Happy New Year.

Sincerely,

Patricia

Publisher Patricia@TheSoberWorld.com

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FLORIDA INJURY HELPLINE 800-510-5553 GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS 800-891-1740 www.serenityhousedetox.com WWW.GA-SFL.ORG and WWW.GA-SFL.COM info@serenityhousedetox.com HEPATITUS B HOTLINE 800-891-0707 JEWISH FAMILY AND CHILD SERVICES 561-684-1991 WWW.JFCSONLINE.COM LAWYER ASSISTANCE 800-282-8981 MARIJUANA ANONYMOUS 800-766-6779 WWW.MARIJUANA-ANONYMOUS.ORG NARC ANON FLORIDA REGION 888-947-8885 WWW.NARANONFL.ORG NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS-PALM BEACH 561-848-6262 WWW.PALMCOASTNA.ORG NATIONAL RUNAWAY SWITCHBOARD 800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) WWW.1800RUNAWAY.ORG NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433) WWW.SUICIDOLOGY.ORG ONLINE MEETING FOR MARIJUANA WWW.MA-ONLINE.ORG OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS- BROWARD COUNTY WWW.GOLDCOAST.OAGROUPS.ORG OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS- PALM BEACH COUNTY WWW.OAPALMBEACHFL.ORG RUTH RALES JEWISH FAMILY SERVICES 561-852-3333 WWW.RUTHRALESJFS.ORG WOMEN IN DISTRESS 954-761-1133 PALM BEACH COUNTY MEETING HALLS ASI specializes in coordinating treatment alternatives to jail time for

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those facing alcohol or drug related charges in the court system.

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5

‘TIS THE SEASON: AVOIDING RELAPSE IN NEW SOBRIETY DURING THE HOLIDAYS By: Sheila Dunnells, Ph.D., CCDP, L-ADC, BC

Aspen The familiar envelop showed up every year, right before Thanksgiving. It was from Terence & Alicia Thurgrood III of Colorado. Avery knew what was in it which is why it remained unopened. The Thurgroods were the unofficial hosts for the yearly reunion in Aspen for ten friends who attended Wharton School of Business. Terry and Alicia sent out the invitations, made dinner reservations, contacted the General Manager for wine, liquor and food preferences, secured room reservations, set up spa appointments, and kept everyone informed of which invitees would attend and with whom.

The partiers flew in from both coasts, plus Texas, Chicago and Nashville. Everyone anticipated a five star week.

Kerry’s mind spins a virtual tour of the past six years in Aspen: fabulous skiing, available right outside their door; lunches around the fire place with glasses flowing with Achaval Ferrer Malbec 2011; wedges of Beaufort D’ete, a French mountain cheese. Later in the day, all would visit the Martini Bar before dinner. Once seated in a dining room overlooking the slopes, Russian Osetra Caviar will arrive, paired with frozen Stolichnaya Elit shots.

This year, Kerry was invited solo. The drinking had gotten out of hand and his marriage fell apart.

Kerry’s first thought is since the family has already been lost to drinking, why not go out and enjoy all the skiing and food with friends. “I am sure if I enjoy one cocktail it won’t destroy the sobriety I have attained.” Kerry reasoned.

This trip was one of the best times in the year. It brings together good friends, elegant food and drink, associations with the A-list.

How could anyone live without it?

Super Bowl In a suburb outside of Manhattan, on Thanksgiving weekend, Rick receives a SAVE THE DATE card from Sam and Kim. They are the official hosts of the Annual Super Bowl Party. In order to avoid any DUI’s, Sam hires a bus to pick up all his friends. He makes his 11 Alarm Chile for the adventurous who can eat it.

Kim caters the food that ranges from sushi to Lasagna.

Guests usually bring an array of hors d’oeuvres, anything from stuffed mushrooms to shrimp cocktail.

However, the beer on tap has always been the focal point of the day. Sam sets up several kegs in the garage, which is always cool. At half-time, friends rush to the garage to eat, drink, tell stories and generally poke fun at one another.

Clearly, for someone in new recovery, this is a challenge. “A challenge if I attend and social death if I miss what used to be the culmination of the football season,” considers Rick.

“If I don’t attend, I will miss all the food, laughter, comradery, and general drink-a-fun day.”

But, Rick has been sober for several months and has promised his wife, who is finished with cleaning up after his escapades, that he will follow his AA program.

“On the other hand,” Rick thinks,” how can one day with old friends destroy my sobriety? Surely I have enough Program to enjoy one drink with old friends and not go back into my disease?”

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Rick could not imagine his life without his Super Bowl family. What would he do with himself?

Avoiding Relapse Just One Believing that one drink (drug, etc.) can’t hurt is a mind game destined to sabotage your sobriety. You know better; your sponsor knows better; your family knows better.

No Substitutions Another slippery slope is believing you can substitute your drug of choice with some other substance. Not true! Mind altering does just that!

Have an Escape Plan: Unless you want to find yourself with a drink, drug, super bowl bet, or a 48 pack of chocolate in your hand, you must have a staying-sober stratagem. Hoping for sudden will power is a clear path to a relapse.

If you decide to attend the family gathering, plan to arrive after the cocktail hour and make your excuses to leave before the drinking, etc. resumes. And, some parties may have to be missed this year.

Avoid People, Places and Things The operative word in new sobriety is to avoid- people, places and things familiar to your using life!

Avoid places where friends or family from your ‘using’ days will be in attendance, regardless of whether it is your best friend, older brother or your younger cousin. If you used together, it is a trigger for picking up again.

Avoid places that can trigger flashbacks of your previous life. It can exhume overwhelming feelings that you buried alive years ago.

Do Attend During the holidays, have the phone numbers of members of your AA support system and your sponsor on speed dial. If you have to make twenty calls to get through the day, make them. If you haven’t joined a 12 Step Program, time to consider it.

Look around for Sober Activities groups. Many groups host holiday dinners; New Year’s parties; and Super Bowl gatherings. There are sober ski trips, cruises and singles clubs. Seek out those who are also trying to stay sober.

Special Situations New Relationships Nothing is probably more dangerous to new sobriety than the thrill of a new relationship. However, it is suggested in most 12 step programs that you not make any relationship changes for a year. Do not end old relationships; do not start a new relationship.

While not much is more energizing than a pair of black leather pants headed in your direction or a hunk with big shoulders on the checkout line, don’t get involved.

The high of new love and its attendant unexplored sex is a common occasion of slipping; the messy ending of an unhealthy relationship, formed because of the neediness of new sobriety, will also derail your efforts.

Single and Sober If you believe you should be celebrating with the love of your life or getting a fabulous gift from someone other than the cat, Christmas can signal disappointment.

Being with a gorgeous mate does not a relationship make, nor do Continued on page 30

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7

THE SILENT ASSAULT ON AMERICANS WITH ADDICTIONS A NEW YEAR WITH OLD CHALLENGES By: John Giordano DHL, MAC

It’s a New Year and time to turn the page, or so I thought. It only took a headline before I was brought back to reality and reminded of the challenges we face. Late last year the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved yet another dangerous pure hydrocodone painkiller.

Purdue Pharma L.P., makers of Oxycontin, was granted a Priority Review in July and final approval in November 2014 of Hysingla ER, a once a day extended-release hydrocodone bitartrate tablet.

Hysingla ER will be available in 20mg, 30mg, 40mg, 60mg, 80mg, and 120mg dosages in January 2015. Hysingla ER is expected to pose a direct commercial challenge to Zohydro ER made by California drug maker Zogenix, which is banned in most modern countries. Neither Hysingla ER nor Zohydro ER contains acetaminophen, a chemical that improves efficacy and also serves as an abuse deterrent.

In March 2014 the FDA was highly criticized by elected officials, law enforcement and anti-addiction groups for its approval of Zohydro ER because of the product’s potency – 10 times stronger than Vicodin – and susceptibility to abuse.

The FDA’s Anesthetic and Analgesic Drug Products Advisory Committee, made up of opioid experts, voted 11 to 2 with one abstention to not approve the drug application. In their view Zohydro ER had only met narrow targets for safety and efficacy. In addition they felt the painkiller could be used by people addicted to other opioids, including oxycodone and voiced concern for the resulting potential impact on public health. Yet with all of the caveats, FDA officials decided to over rule the committee’s recommendation and approved the drug.

This is a dangerous trajectory that the FDA has put us in considering we’re in the world’s largest opium addiction epidemic since the opium wars of the 1800s. Eight out of ten opioid painkillers are consumed in the U.S. That equates to 80% of the worlds production of opioids are consumed in a country with less than 5% of the global population.

Last year an estimated 16,000 people died from prescription drug overdoses, more than heroin and cocaine combined. Emergency room visits related to prescription painkillers has sky rocked. More than two-thirds of emergency department visits for opioid overdoses involve prescription drugs – 348,000 emergency room visits for prescription drug overdoses in 2011 alone. How many more people have to be harmed or die before the FDA recognizes their historic duty as the protector of the American people and exercise their authority to prevent these dangerous drugs from killing our own?

So just when did the FDA morph from fierce watchdog and protector to the proud lapdog on the end of Big Pharma’s tight leash? In the mid to late 80’s the AIDs virus caused a national panic resulting in a public outcry for a quicker turn-around by FDA in approving lifesaving drugs. At the time, the U.S. lagged behind other modern countries in drug approval by a year or more. The FDA, who is financed by the treasury, claimed that due to budget restrictions they were short staffed and were reviewing new applications as fast as humanly possible. As a way to fund the expansion for the FDA to meet the new challenge and avert additional treasury funding, the 102nd congress passed the “The Prescription Drug User Fee Act (PDUFA)” and was signed into law in 1992. The PDUFA granted the FDA authority to charge user fees to pay for a newly expanded regulatory review. The new revenue source was intended to supplement – but not replace – direct appropriations from Congress.

The PDUFA had the desired effect and a few unforeseen. In a review of the program, the U.S. Government Accountability Office (GAO) reported in 2002 that PDUFA funds allowed the FDA to increase the number of new drug reviewers by 77 percent in the first eight years of the act. In addition they found the median approval time for non-priority new drugs dropped from 27 months to 14 months over the same period.

On the surface, everything about the PDUFA seemed fine. It has been reauthorized by congress five times since its inception – surely a sign of success. In 2010, a grand total of $529,276,543 in PDUFA

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fees was collected. According to the FDA, this total almost covered all of the expenses associated with New Drug Application (NDA) reviews. Keep in mind that PDUFA was intended to supplement the FDA (NDA) review budget, not replace it. So what could possibly go wrong with a government institution tasked with the protection and safety of the American public being nearly 100% funded by the very corporations seeking their approval for toxic drugs? Has the integrity of FDA been compromised by Big Pharma payments of over half a billion dollars per annum and growing?

One person seems to think so. Donald W. Light, a Residential Fellow (2012-2013), Edmond J. Safra, Center for Ethics, Harvard University, wrote a scathing review of this unholy union. The article is entitled “Risky Drugs: Why the FDA Cannot Be Trusted” (a summary of a more in-depth article entitled “Institutional Corruption of Pharmaceuticals and the Myth of Safe and Effective Drugs”) was published in the Journal of Law, Medicine and Ethics (JLME) in July 2013. It’s available online and truly an unapologetic eye-opening read; I strongly recommend you check it out.

Among the many highlights of Light’s article is this: “The forthcoming article in JLME also presents systematic, quantitative evidence that since the (Pharmaceutical) industry started making large contributions to the FDA for reviewing its drugs, as it makes large contributions to Congressmen who have promoted this substitution for publicly funded regulation, the FDA has sped up the review process with the result that drugs approved are significantly more likely to cause serious harm, hospitalizations, and deaths. New FDA policies are likely to increase the epidemic of harms. This will increase costs for insurers but increase revenues for providers.”

Light also points out: • One in every five drugs approved ends up causing serious harm, while one in ten provide substantial benefit compared to existing, established drugs.

• Prescription drugs are the 4th leading cause of death.

• This evidence indicates why we can no longer trust the FDA to carry out its historic mission to protect the public from harmful and ineffective drugs.

Dr. Bob Rappaport is the director of the FDA’s division of anesthesia, analgesia and addiction products. One of his many duties is to over-see all of the FDA’s Anesthetic and Analgesic Drug Products Advisory Committee’s panel discussions.

During the Zohydro ER application panel review, Rappaport repeatedly attempted to steer the distinguished panel to approve Zohydro’s application through narrow regulatory framework. He zeroed in on fairness to applicants while completely ignoring the basic premise and obligation of the FDA – “Protecting and Promoting Your Health” as their slogan states. Dr. Rappaport cited narrow objectives such as: “the FDA’s obligations to operate within the regulatory framework that includes providing a level playing field for industry” as reasoning to approve Zohydro’s application. He clearly staked out his genuinely frightening position when he was quoted telling the panel: “you’re punishing this company and this drug because of the sins of the previous developers and their products.

And from a regulatory standpoint, that’s not really something we can do.” Apparently the FDA is not allowed to learn from their mistakes.

Observers of the discussion said the conversation got a little spicy.

“It seemed like Bob Rappaport was getting frustrated with the panel,” says Andrew Kolodny, chief medical officer of Phoenix House Foundation, “He actually started to scold the committee at one point.”

The panel wasn’t buying what Rappaport was selling. They returned a lopsided 11-2 vote recommending that Zohydro ER application not Continued on page 30

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9

SKIP THE REPEAT- HOW TO AVOID RELAPSING AFTER REHAB

By Nick Mazmanian

You have a problem. You know you do, but you hide it. You start burning money, selling items and keeping secrets in order to keep the problem going because you feel like you’re in too deep to stop. Then, inevitably, your family and friends confront you on it and call you out. You admit you have a problem and you go into rehab for help.

This is the story that every addict knows all too well. It’s the one that they start off with when they enter their rehabilitation program and share among one another.

As they move through the process of healing, and start to reclaim their lives from the addictions that took it away, another fear begins to crawl up their spine that says, “What do I do after this?” There are a variety of elements that you should keep in mind when you are in recovery.

One of the major factors that can trigger a relapse is the people you have in your life. There’s a saying that goes: The people that surround you are a reflection of yourself. When you leave treatment, you are no longer the person you once were, but are instead a brand new version of yourself. If you go back and hang out with the friends or family members that got you into trouble in the first place, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Your environment is another factor. Multiple studies, and years of treating patients, have shown that your living space is another contributing factor for relapse. Most former addicts lived in an area that had easy access to their substance of choice. It is highly recommended that you move into a sober living house or transitional living home for a short period of time. These places will not only help you adjust to life outside rehab, but they will give you a support group of like minded individuals who are trying to stay the same course.

Another factor that puts you at a higher risk for relapse is the lack of a support structure. When you’re in treatment, you are held to a tight schedule, and not many people can deal with life after rehab because their lives lack direction and accountability.

There are two ways of going about making your own support structure. The first is getting a counselor that you meet with on a regular basis, the frequency of which is entirely dependent upon your needs. The second path is looking for a support group.

This is the more casual route to take since you can have a support group be a group of well grounded friends or a spiritual center like a church, temple or mosque. In fact, many spiritual centers have support groups designed specifically for people like you who are looking for accountability. There are also long standing support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous who have a great track record and a great mentoring program.

Being involved with a sponsor or mentor in your first year of sobriety is crucial. Having a support group around you to keep you accountable is one of the most powerful tools for you to use in recovery. Knowing that you have a team that is rooting for you can help in keeping your cravings in check and keep your mind focused.

Your mind is a powerful tool in the battle with addiction, but it is an instrument that needs to be maintained. Returning to work can cause a great deal of stress and anxiety over time, and your mind will wear down to the point when it cannot hold back your former cravings anymore. In order to keep yourself sharp, you should participate in some mental exercises. This can include mediation and physical exercise, and while that may seem like an odd pairing, both have been known to release dopamine and

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serotonin into the brain that allow your mind to relax. These chemicals come naturally, and when combined with the rush of endorphins, can create a potent package that will help heal the damaged portions of your brain. The more you do these two things, the better off you are going to be over time.

Keeping yourself busy in work that not only fills the time but the soul is very important while you are in recovery. Volunteering your time can be one of the most rewarding experiences because you are actively helping to improve the lives of others.

Going to your former clinics and support groups can help you not only deal with your daily struggles, but help others see what recovery can look like and know that they are not alone. If you want an extra incentive to stay the course, choose to work at a low bottom or indigent recovery center. These places will show you the worst of the worst and remind you about how far you’ve come in your journey. Also, check out conventions and events for AA, NA and NAMI to further educate yourself and reach out to other former addicts like yourself.

Knowing who you are is the best way to combat addiction. To know how you are doing, whether you are happy or sad means you can tell when you are having trouble keeping yourself on the straight and narrow. Relapse occurs when you allow certain behaviors to slide. You’ll fall into habits you shouldn’t do anymore and you will soon be hitting the bottle or your drug of choice again. Keeping yourself in check and knowing when you’re slipping is important because you can get help before a relapse occurs.

Being active in your recovery is vital. Thinking that you are able to maintain a sober lifestyle without any work being put into it can end in relapse. You must be diligent about your new lease on life and protect it from the demons you know all too well. If you are able to work on this, and keep doing it, you’ll find that you’ll be the experienced one at the group meetings with years of wisdom under your belt. The road to recovery never truly ends, and success is a war without end, but the little victories will add up and pay off every time.

Nick Mazmanian is a Content Writer for Sovereign Health Group. When he isn’t writing about addiction, mental health and dual diagnosis, he is writing fiction. To learn more about Sovereign’s addiction treatment program, read more of Nick’s work and to read patient reviews, visit www.sovehalth.com.

24/7 Admissions Helpline

866-691-9575 Most Private Insurance Accepted.

Helping People Every Day, The Sovereign Way Serving Adults, Adolescents and Families

Sovereign Health Group offers evidenced-based addiction, dual diagnosis, and mental health treatment programs for both adults and adolescents.The Treatment Team targets the underlying condition by utilizing cutting-edge and comprehensive cognitive testing, rehabilitation, and treatment modalities.

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www.sovteens.com

11

THE IMPORTANCE OF TARGETED ADDICTION TREATMENT FOR MEN AND WOMEN AGES 50+

By Brenda J. Iliff, MA

Laura C.*, age 64, never thought she had a problem. Social drinking, prescription medications and a Xanax or two were part of the framework of her daily lifestyle. It wasn’t until she received her second DUI and faced a jail sentence that she realized the gravity of her situation.

This is much more common than we think, and addiction is sometimes a gradual process that it is often not recognized until someone else intervenes. Decades of social drinking can easily cross the line into dependence. And for men and women ages 50 plus, use of pain medications or anxiety or sleep medications can develop into chemical misuse, including dependence, especially when mixed with alcohol consumption.

For years addiction treatment programs were not age-specific until experts realized that different age groups, just like different genders, have their own unique needs. Age matters. Addiction issues are different for the baby boomer generation and even more different for people in their late 70s, 80s and 90s.

For example, the effects of alcohol on a person change drastically with age. The body metabolizes alcohol and other drugs differently given their decreased body mass and diminished organ function.

There are distinct physiological, emotional, spiritual and mental health needs of boomers as well as older adults. Given the strengths of these generations the transformative potential for regaining health, energy and vitality that comes with living in recovery is great.

With addiction, what other differences come with age? Men and women ages 50 plus have life experiences that inform their beliefs about addiction. For example, shame is a major block to getting help for men and women who are in their late 70s or 80s. Many of these people aspired to live the American Dream, coming of age during the Eisenhower years. Many led lives of tremendous accomplishment and success. For them, addiction is viewed as a moral failure. Boomers, on the other hand, came of age on the heels of the Vietnam War, Woodstock, and the assassination of President Kennedy. Their image of the typical drug addict is more likely to be the stoned guy at a rock concert, not their 60-year-old sister who becomes dependent on painkillers after hip replacement surgery. Laura C. adds that in her generation, an alcoholic is “a bum under the bridge. It’s not the successful businessman who falls off his golf cart at the country club. We don’t think of ourselves as alcoholics or addicts. We don’t use the ‘a-word.’ Drinking is a wholly accepted part of our culture.”

What else causes one to cross that fragile line into addiction?

A growing number of men and women ages 50 plus use pain medications or anxiety and sleep aids. This use can be dangerous and can develop into dependence. As people age, they have more free time and less responsibility which can mean reduced interaction with others who might notice a progression toward addiction. Every patient is different, and expert clinicians will assess physical and mental health, family history, types of drugs being abused and many other variables before developing a results-oriented treatment plan.

Another effect of addiction to alcohol and other drugs is that it can make people age faster. Conversely, recovery helps people regain health, energy and vitality. It’s important for the boomer and older generations to get treatment that addresses their body, mind and spirit. It is proven that recovery rates tend to be higher among older adults than younger generations due to the fact that older adults have more positive life experiences to draw upon and tend to be more disciplined about recovery.

What to look for in an effective treatment program? Integrated treatment that understands issues for people 50 plus is the key.

More often than not, addiction comes with complicating factors.

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Physical health and mental health issues such as anxiety, trauma or depression often accompany addiction. Grief and loss, shame, and even bewilderment at how one could end up with an addiction are also part of the puzzle. With such complex disorders, the most effective approach is to integrate addiction with physical and mental health treatment so that all issues are addressed at the same time. Each client’s care plan should include medical, chemical dependency, mental health and spiritual care professionals who include whatever therapies, mental health services and medications that are appropriate.

The good news is that in a supportive recovery setting with a high level of expertise, boomers and older adults have the best chance for a successful recovery. The importance of connecting with others during their program cannot be overstated. The changes made in treatment – the way people think, react and take care of themselves – are new ways of living that take practice. Regaining and maintaining health means learning to live differently and learning to manage a chronic disease. Continuing care groups, mentors and the availability of vast recovery support services and resources offer more hope than ever for boomers and older adults facing addiction.

Laura C. says it best when she concludes, “I used to medicate away my anxiety and depression but now I don’t want to miss one more second of my life. People of my generation hear about treatment and think, if I can’t drink, I’ll never have fun again. The truth is, recovery augments life. Your life gets so much bigger, and you won’t want to waste a second of it.” *Name changed to protect the privacy of individuals Brenda J. Iliff, MA is a Clinician, author and noted expert in addiction treatment for older adults. She serves as executive director of Hazelden in Naples, and is recognized as a national speaker on this topic. More than 20 years experience in the addiction field enhances her leadership and expertise in treating this family disease. Iliff first joined Hazelden in 1994 and served in many different roles, including as executive director of Fellowship Club in St. Paul, Minnesota and clinical director of Hazelden’s Women’s Recovery Center at the headquarters in Center City, Minnesota. She is the author of A Woman’s Guide to Recovery.

In response to a growing need for targeted care for men and women ages 50+, Iliff and her staff recently launched new addiction treatment programming in Naples, Florida, designed exclusively for today’s vital baby boomer generation 50+ and active, mobile individuals 70 and older.

To learn more about Hazelden in Naples, call 239-659-2351 or visit www.hazeldenbettyford.org.

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13

WAYSIDE HOUSE EXPANDS IOP Wayside House, an addiction recovery program for women, by women in Delray Beach, has expanded Intensive Outpatient Services to include daytime hours.

The expanded hours for Intensive Outpatient were added to make it more convenient for women who are juggling jobs or family matters, but are serious about recovery.

Wayside House has provided services for 40 years with both residential and outpatient services. If an assessment qualifies a woman for the IOP program, she may now opt for either morning or evening sessions to attend the eightweek program.

Hours now are Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday 6-9 p.m. or Monday, Thursday, and Friday 9 a.m. - noon.

Come to orientation on any Tuesday at 9:45 a.m. or call for an appointment for assessment at 561.278.0055. Most insurance is accepted for the IOP program and staff can help determine if your insurance does cover it at the time of your assessment. For more information, email info@ waysidehouse.net

I (STILL) WONDER

By Don Blackwell

Dear Mom, I wonder if you ever paused to consider the “messages” you were sending (and the pain you were inflicting) as you shuffled us off to bed in the waning sunlight of beautiful South Florida summer afternoons well into our middle school years and headed out the door to meet up with your neighborhood drinking buddy for your daily afternoon Scotches.

Because, intended or not, the messages were as clear to me as the air on those same summer days: “The drinks are more important to me than your dad, than your brother, than your sister – than you.” “I’d rather spend my time (hours each day) with them, than spend it loving any of you, holding you, listening to you – encouraging you.”

I wonder if you knew how many times I fantasized about you turning around, blasting back through my closed bedroom door and saying “NOT TODAY!” “Today, I want to know how you’re doing, about the girl who got away, about your fears. I want to listen to your heart, to your poetry – to learn what brings you joy and makes you sad.” “Today, instead of simply dropping you off at the driving range, I want to stay and watch you hit balls, find out why it is you love the game so much, what it is the teaching pros “see” that has them insisting that their students pay careful attention to your swing – and whether there’s something I can do to support your talent.”

“Today, rather than spend another afternoon in a haze, I want to do what YOU want to do.” “Maybe we could catch a movie, grab a pizza or some ice cream?” “Maybe we could go bowling (even though I’m not very good at it!) or simply talk about whatever’s on your mind?”

I know now, of course, that it was much more complicated than that – that what may well have started out as a “choice” borne of your own heartache became a disease that would require hard work to overcome. But, I also know you had to be the one to take the first step, to decide that there was someone or something in your life more important to you than the next drink.

You could’ve done the work, mom – used the courage and the

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toughness it took to survive all those wounds to embrace and rise above the scars they left behind – to “show them who was the boss around here,” rather than always trying to show us. You could’ve run towards, rather than away from the voids in your soul and filled them with so many things other than Scotch (the pursuit of your dreams, encouraging and inspiring us to reach for ours, real hugs, genuine smiles, service to others) and, in the process, set an example for us – taught us that brokenness is only the beginning, the cocoon in which true beauty resides and, if we will allow it, from which it ultimately emerges.

I still wonder why you never took that step. Why you never even admitted you had a problem, let alone asked for help and support in battling it – help and support I’m certain dad would unhesitatingly have provided if given the chance and the prospect of regaining his wife/life? But most of all, I wonder why, long after you could see the debris field left in the wake of it all, you never once said you were sorry. I gave you every chance to at least do that, right up to your last breath and all you did was leave me wondering (still): Why couldn’t you see that YOU were important enough?

Why weren’t WE important enough? Why wasn’t I important enough?

Your Middle Son P.S. It took me awhile to fill in the gaps – and truth be told I still have a ways to go, a few wounds of my own to patch up, lots more to learn where empathy and vulnerability are concerned. But, all things considered, I think you’d be (mostly) proud of the man I became...at least I hope so.

Don Blackwell is a 56 year-old trial lawyer in Miami, Florida. He also is the author of “Dear Ashley . . .” – A Father’s Reflections and Letters to His Daughter on Life, Love and Hope (www.dearashleythebook.com).

Don is an advocate on issues relating to dads, daughters and eating disorders, the architect of “The Dad Initiative”, and an avid blogger (www.donblackwell.wordpress.com and www.eatingdisordersblogs. com). He also has been a featured presenter at legal and eating disorder conferences around the country.

All of our patients are unique and we can offer treatment options that are specifically suitable for them”..

We offer the following types of services • IOP • PHP • Detox • Aftercare • Meditation • Art Therapy • Psychosocial • Family Counseling • Anger Management • Relapse Prevention • Education Seminars • Personal Spirituality

• Big Book Step Study • Nutritional Education • Individual Counseling • Holistic Life Coaching • Relaxation and Music • Recovery Maintenance • Emotional Behavioral Therapy • Stress Reduction Workshops • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy • Developing Support Systems • Substance Abuse Group Counseling • State of the Art Bio-Feedback Therapy

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January Calendar SUNDAY

LY DaI

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MONDAY

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Tuesdays Tuesdays Wednesdays Wednesdays Thursdays Thursdays Saturdays Saturdays

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Open AA Meeting 5:30pm

Creative Journaling 10am

Candlelight Meditation 7pm

Open NA Meeting 6pm

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Open AA Meeting 12pm

Open AA Meeting 5:30pm

Creative Journaling 10am

CODA Meeting 10:30am

Candlelight Meditation 7pm

Open NA Meeting 6pm

Open AA Meeting 12pm

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Women’s Open AA Meeting 10:30am

Open AA Meeting 5:30pm

Creative Journaling 10am

CODA Meeting 10:30am

Candlelight Meditation 7pm

Open NA Meeting 6pm

Open AA Meeting 12pm

Open AA Meeting 7am

Open AA Meeting 12pm Free Yoga & Meditation Class 9-10:15am

Open AA Meeting 12pm

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16 Open AA Meeting 7am

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Free Yoga & Meditation Class 9-10:15am

Open AA Meeting 12pm

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Open AA Meeting 7am

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Free Yoga & Meditation Class 9-10:15am

Open AA Meeting 12pm

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Open AA Meeting 7am Women’s Open AA Meeting 10:30am

Free Yoga & Meditation Class 9-10:15am

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Open AA Meeting 7am

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Open AA Meeting 7am Open AA Meeting 7am Open AA Meeting 7am

Day of Rest

Women’s Open AA Meeting 10:30am

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Open AA Meeting 7am

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Closed

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Open AA Meeting 7am Open AA Meeting 7am Open AA Meeting 7am

Day of Rest

Happy New Year!

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FRIDAY 2

Open AA Meeting 7am Open AA Meeting 7am Open AA Meeting 7am Open AA Meeting 7am Women’s Open AA Creative Journaling Open AA Meeting Meeting 10:30am 10am 5:30pm Open AA Meeting National Candlelight Open NA 12pm Codependency Meditation 7pm Meeting 6pm Event 6-8 Open AA Meeting 7am Open AA Meeting 7am

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Open AA Meeting 7am

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National Codependency Day Join us January 8th 6-8pm

Speaker, author of My Resurrected Heart: A Codependent’s Journey to Healing and founder of National Codependency Awareness Month, Diane Vernitsky Jellen, presents on the experiences and struggles of having loved ones in addiction. Snacks and refreshments will be served.

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Monday Monday Tuesday Tuesday Wednesday-Friday Wednesday-Friday Saturday Saturday

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17

CO-PARENTING FOR RECOVERY… HOW DIVORCED PARENTS CAN BEST SUPPORT THEIR ADDICTED CHILD. Ava Diamond, LCSW

There is a reason or two that you are divorced from your child’s other parent. More likely than not, you don’t see eye-to-eye on a few things.

Too often, the Great Divide that occurs between parents through years leading up to and going through divorce serves as the fertile land of manipulation for many adolescent or young adult children. Throw some drug use into the mix and the Great Divide becomes the Great Demise of life as you thought it would be for the child you love.

In my work over the past two decades with families facing the detriment of addiction (note: I use the label of addiction to cover ANY self-harming behaviors that interfere with optimal functioning: eating disorders, cutting behaviors, internet obsession, sexual promiscuity, etc.), I have encountered every which way that divorced couples could approach the condition of their child’s life. Often, I have held separate mother: child and father: child family therapy sessions in order to enhance each relationship independent of the other. This is actually important regardless of how well the co-parenting system is functioning. The only way that divorced parents actually FAIL their responsibilities as parents is when they cannot separate out their feelings and ideas about the other parent from their relationship work with their child. You have heard it before, yes? They even try to emphasize it in divorce decrees that neither parent shall disparage the other to the child. Truth be told, rare is this agreement upheld after raising the right hand in court. When your child is struggling with addiction however, this commitment to your role as parents must become of primary concern and that means that your experiences with the other parent must be kept at the curb.

On the flip side, I have been fortunate to witness the power of co-parenting to heal at least one part of the parent’s relationship

A sturdy family tree has a thick trunk and deep roots. Parents, whether divorced or not, have a commitment to their children to attend to the tree.

Divorce is not an excuse for neglecting it. and allow for the greatest opportunity for recovery for their shared child. Parents are often surprised when I tell them that, in fact, I do not believe they have to be “on the same page” (a concept that is usually unappealing to a parent who at some level dislikes the other parent) but in the “same chapter”. I explain that children (especially teens) do well with learning about different styles of parenting as long as the parents are aligned in the following two ways: *Core Values are shared and conveyed uniquely in each home.

The child learns how the same values can be exercised in different ways. For example, “doing your best” may come from Father as “your grades are good, but I expect you to do whatever it takes to bring them up this semester” and from Mother as, “Do you believe you did your best? Are you willing to ask your teacher for extra help?” One approach is clearly stated, no discussion while another approach is to question for motivation. Both send the message that improvement is possible and hoped for by the parents. *Basic Assumptions (or the less palatable word: RULES) regarding accountability and sobriety are consistently adhered to in both homes. Honesty, abstinence, adherence to curfew and communication etc. are all rules of accountability and sobriety that serve as the Safety Net between two homes of divorced parents.

If nothing else, casting this Safety Net is potentially the only way to create the necessary structure and support that gives your teen and young adult child the best opportunity for recovery.

Casting the Safety Net So, how do you join with the person you went through potentially

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so much to separate from in order to help your child heal and develop his or her best potential? How do you put aside your own insecurities, resentments, and furies in order to put your energy into being the best Mother or Father you can be right now?

1. Cover up your buttons for a while. Did you know it was possible to NOT let your buttons get pushed by the person you divorced? Well, it is. In fact, if you can remain mindful of what you need to attend to in your role as a parent of a struggling child, you will divert your emotional attention and reduce your vulnerability to perceived provocation. Accepting simply that “there are reasons I am divorced” and that in fact...

2. The person you are no longer married to can have no emotional power in your daily life, you will find the freedom to cover up and potentially eliminate your buttons.

3. Validate validate validate. Validate yourself, validate your exspouse, and validate your child for having to deal with this very hard disease. Without judgment or interpretation, just acknowledge the challenge you are all facing (albeit in your own ways).

4. Hire a very, very skilled therapist to support the casting of the net. Find a therapist who understands that “same page” isn’t going to fly, but as long as you are in the same “chapter” you will have success. The same “chapter” refers to the stage of life and stage of recovery that your child is in and parenting accordingly with Core Values and Basic Assumptions in place.

That Therapist should be able to effectively develop a Family Contract with input from all three parties that is based on compromise. I often explain to my families that compromise does not mean one has to relinquish ideas to the other. ComPromise is the development of a “Common Promise” designed to foster trust through increased responsibility, accountability, and communication practices between parents and child…and sometimes between parent and parent even when divorced for the sake of the child.

One of the most powerful experiences that a teen or young adult child can have is bridging the gap between divorced parents. If their recovery (as opposed to their active addiction) can serve as a vehicle for better communication between you as parents, it seems to reinforce the value of sobriety. You don’t have to like each other for this to happen.

Ava Diamond, LCSW has developed her expertise in family systems and addiction treatment. She brings her pioneering leadership style to her clinical work as a program development consultant to treatment facilities and educational institutions. Currently, Ms. Diamond is implementing her family program, “Family Matters”, for Westport House, supportive sober living for young men, in Westport, CT. www.avadiamondlcsw.com

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EVERY LIFE IS WORTH SAVING: WHY FLORIDA NEEDS NALOXONE ACCESS LAWS

By Pamela Clark, CADC II, ICADC

It is so important to know how to identify, prevent, and reverse an opioid overdose because this is the leading cause of accidental death in the United States. In order to stop this epidemic we need to have access to the antidote, naloxone.

person in a nonresponsive state and call for emergency services.

These “first responders” could be trained on how to identify, respond, and reverse an overdose, and could be equipped with and know how to administer naloxone.

Let’s set aside beliefs and judgments about drugs and drug users for a moment. Drug users for the sake of this article relates to anyone who uses drugs, whether or not they are prescribed by a physician. The drugs that are relevant to this discussion fall into the category of opioids.

Whether you or a friend or loved one is currently taking pain medication, or if you have a child that may be at-risk for overdose you need access to naloxone. In addition to the at-risk factors described for people prescribed pain medication, other individuals that are at-risk for overdose include individuals waiting to go into drug treatment, individuals just released from drug treatment, or individuals that have just been released from incarceration.

When opioids are prescribed by a physician there is the possibility that the patient may experience adverse effects – such as a stop in breathing.

Opioids are natural, semi-synthetic or synthetic versions of opium and in many cases lead to drug dependence. You may know opioids by names such as opium, morphine, codeine, heroin, hydrocodone (Vicodin, Lortab), oxycodone (OxyContin), fentanyl, methadone, Demerol, etc. to name some. They are usually prescribed for pain.

When opioids are prescribed by a physician there is the possibility that the patient may experience adverse effects – such as a stop in breathing. Even when taking pain medication as prescribed, factors may come into play that can increase the chance that someone may stop breathing as a result of taking their pain medication as prescribed.

Naloxone reverses an opioid overdose when administered in time.

Factors such as having a glass of wine with their medication, being sick, starting a new medication, having asthma or sleep apnea – any of these factors could place that person at risk, and yet many at-risk individuals are not offered a solution such as naloxone and do not know they can request it.

Naloxone has been around since the 1960’s, has been used in hospital emergency rooms for decades, it is classified as a prescription medication, and it is not a controlled substance. It is legal to prescribe naloxone in every state, although each state controls naloxone access laws. Florida does not currently have naloxone access laws (although there are efforts underway to establish them).

Naloxone reverses an opioid overdose when administered in time.

There is about a two-hour window when an emergency reversal can be successfully completed. Naloxone restores a person’s breathing, usually within one to two minutes. Because naloxone reverses the effects of the opioids, when the person is revived they experience uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms. There are no other adverse effects and there is no abuse potential.

Many people believe that having access to naloxone will keep drug users using (opioid) drugs, and would cause users to use more and more frequently because they have access to naloxone to reverse an overdose if they take too much. This is not the case.

Researcher and expert in the field of opioid-related overdose prevention and intervention, Peter Davidson, Ph.D., of the Division of Global Public Health, Department of Medicine at the University of California, San Diego provided the following statement regarding this widely held belief: “We now have over 10 years’ worth of research showing that not only does having naloxone not increase people’s drug use, but that there’s evidence that the experience of saving someone’s life using naloxone is associated with ceasing heroin use altogether within the next 12 months.”

In most cases parents and friends are the first to discover the

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Harm reduction advocate and activist, Julia Negron, Lead Organizer of Suncoast Harm Reduction Project, Board Member of A New PATH (Parents for Addiction Treatment and Healing), Board Member of Floridians for Recovery, and a member of the Steering Committee of A New PATH’s Moms United To End The War On Drugs campaign made this comment about the need for naloxone access laws in Florida: “Every life is worth saving and we need to approach this issue with compassion and dignity. South Florida especially needs advocates willing to get involved. We are not promoting drug use and naloxone is not a free ride to keep using. Everyone deserves second chances and to have access to this lifesaving antidote.”

Julia is actively involved along with a number of advocacy groups and coalitions that are working together to give Floridians access to naloxone. Florida mothers have mobilized and are joining forces with statewide agencies and local coalitions to increase overdose awareness and naloxone access. They continue to educate the community, legislators and other stakeholders in the hopes of a 2015 Overdose Prevention / Naloxone access bill.

To date 27 states in the U.S. have naloxone access laws, with 12 states added in the last two years.

To date 27 states in the U.S. have naloxone access laws, with 12 states added in the last two years. Police, EMT’s and other emergency first responders, parents and people with drug dependency have been trained to carry and administer naloxone.

Florida currently allows paramedics only to carry naloxone. Florida police, EMT’s and parents should also be trained and equipped with naloxone because they may be the first ones to arrive on the scene in an emergency situation. Every life is worth saving.

I urge you to take action to make Florida one of the next states to have naloxone access laws.

For More Information Suncoast Harm Reduction Project www.facebook.com/SuncoastHarmReduction The Skeeterhawk Experiment www.theskeeterhawkexperiment.org/about-2/ A New PATH (Parents for Addiction Treatment and Healing) www.anewpathsite.org/ Moms United to End the War on Drugs www.momsunited.net Pamela Clark is an internationally and California state licensed drug and alcohol counselor and is a certified Opioid Overdose Prevention and Response Trainer. She works for the nonprofit Transforming Youth Recovery, where she writes articles and develops programs and training workshops that have the power to eliminate stigma and educate the public about prevention, recovery, and educational recovery supports. She lives in San Diego, CA.

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TM

11/17/2014 4:08:41 PM

11/17/2014 4:08:41 PM

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UNITED UNDER THE FARR UMBRELLA

By John Lehman

For the third consecutive year, “the problem with unregulated sober homes” will be aggressively debated in both the Senate and House of Representatives. There is little doubt that, this year, both chambers will sync up to take definitive action. Substance use disorder treatment programs (SUT) and recovery residences are now unified under the FARR umbrella in an effort to influence the final outcome. As providers serving the same population, we are equally vulnerable to both external and internal threats.

SUT and Recovery Residences share common concerns.

The industry has long recognized that long-term, recovery support coupled with early clinical intervention is a model that produces excellent outcomes. Third party payers, now facing the challenges of parity, are significantly more motivated to invest in evidence-based outcome measurement tools that evaluate specific methodologies and protocols. This is an exciting moment in the evolution of our industry. However; it is incumbent on industry leaders to be mindful, intentional and deliberate as they encourage providers to purposefully navigate these waters. We cannot afford to take errant paths that lead us into dangerous territory. Nor can we sustain momentum while dragging behind us a reputation for tolerating unethical behaviors within our space.

We know that there are ‘issues”, particularly in the Southeast Florida corridor. Our industry must be seen by both state level legislators and third party payers to be actively committed to raising the bar.

The majority of Florida providers applaud law enforcement efforts to rid our marketplace of patient brokering and insurance fraud practices that currently threaten to implode the industry.

For several years now, the Florida League of Cities has listed “unregulated sober homes” as a top agenda item. While “Florida Model” treatment programs initially believed this was not an immediate concern, they have now come to appreciate that the public considers all providers offering recovery-oriented housing to be “sober homes.” This includes DCF Licensed Residential 3 or what the insurance world terms PHP with day/ night community housing. FARR categorizes this group, along with DCF Residential 4 and 5 licensees, as Level IV Recovery Residences. The truth is that municipal leaders are far less concerned with the introduction of regulations that focus on the quality of care than they are with the impact of recovery housing on the “character of their neighborhoods”. It is this municipal concern that remains the core driver for state legislation. The fact that “Florida Model” providers are already licensed and “regulated” by DCF is immaterial. In a recent Sun Sentinel article, in reference to voluntary certification as proposed by House Bill 21, Delray Mayor Glickstein stated: “On one level, anything is better than nothing, but the voluntary nature of that is troubling. If you look at any other business that is part of the medical industry, they are highly regulated businesses and industries. Self-policing of an industry that we’ve seen go off the tracks this badly is just incredible.” Mayor Glickstein is not addressing traditional, Level II Recovery Residences (halfways) when referring to “the medical industry”; he references Level IV recovery residences who blend clinical services with peer supportive housing in his city’s residential neighborhoods. We must appreciate that when the rest of the world talks about “sober homes,” they dump all levels of clinical and recovery support into the same bucket.

Politicians measure “constituencies of consequence” by their potential influence over voters. Including programs currently in the process of achieving certification, FARR now represents 153 unique providers serving a capacity of over 3,100 residents residing in 575 separate properties throughout Florida. Each week, FARR receives an average of four new applications for certification. Without consideration for additional motivators likely to be passed this legislative session, we anticipate that by this

22

time next year, FARR Certified Residences will serve a capacity of over 7,500 residents housed in approximately 1,250 properties operated by 350 unique providers; a significant accomplishment given the rigorous nature of the FARR Certification process.

Certification ensures that residents enjoy alcohol & drug free housing that is safe, clean and dignified. We hold providers accountable to establish a peer-supportive community that, in turn, behaves as a good neighbor and responsible citizen. We publish forty-eight (48) standards and a comprehensive Code of Ethics to support these guiding principles. Certification requires service providers to submit their policy and procedures for our review prior to scheduling the initial on-site visit. This field survey largely focuses on our inspector’s assessment of how those policies, procedures and protocols are implemented in practice by the provider. The on-site visit is a collaborative process. FARR inspectors are not the recovery residence police. Our goal is to help guide operators who seek certification to raise the bar, when necessary, to improve the quality of support offered to residents. Typically, operators welcome this guidance. They applied for certification, in large part, because they are motivated to deliver the very best possible services and seek constructive input on how they might continuously improve their program.

In January 2015, the FARR Board will launch a series of Advisory Bulletins addressing issues we believe are vital to the health and wellness of our industry. These bulletins focus on the subjects of rent assistance, patient brokering, as well as the utilization of urinalysis and good practices for developing and sustaining peer-supportive communities. These bulletins will be distributed to all who opt-in to our mailing list. We encourage comment on these postings. If you haven’t already done so, please visit www. farronline.org and add your name to our email distribution list.

It’s our

home.

Certifying safe and digniied recovery residences for individuals seeking peer-supportive shelter.

“Are you FARR Certiied?”

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23

A MOTHER’S AND DAUGHTER’S WORST NIGHTMARE

By Constance Curry and Kristina Wandzilak

Mom: I was born the oldest of seven children in a sweet catholic family. Our parents loved and respected each other and we felt safe in our home. I was a popular and active student in high school and college, was on the student council, officer in my sorority and varsity cheerleader at Texas Tech the year we went to the Gator Bowl. I loved being an active, involved, visible participant in all aspects of my life. I wanted to keep that action and excitement going so I married an alcoholic. It didn’t seem like he drank any more than anyone else.

I didn’t know anything about this disease; to me an alcoholic was a dirty old man face down in the gutter, not a businessman in a suit and tie going to work every day to support his family.

Like all young couples we had high expectations for our life. We had four children, a successful business and a nice life. We lived in the right town, on the right street, drove the right cars and sent our children to the right schools. We went to soccer games, baseball games, and swim meets every Saturday during the summer months.

We took our family to church on Sundays and said prayers with them at night. We looked like the All American Family on the outside, but on the inside there was growing discord with manipulation, control and a seething rage just under the surface and we never knew when it would erupt. Maybe it happened because the garbage wasn’t out on time or maybe because the dinner wasn’t ready as expected. My husband’s anger got bigger and bigger and I got smaller and smaller feeling fear that was overwhelming. I gave my power away one day at a time, one incident at a time until I became a shell of that vibrant, confident young woman I started out to be.

So along comes our thirteen-year-old daughter to proclaim to the world we were not as we appeared to be!

Kristina: I had my first drink when I was 13. I stole liquor from my parents and drank myself to oblivion in the bushes at the end of their driveway. From the very first moment, I loved alcohol and the feeling of perfection that came over me as the liquor began to numb the parts of myself that I hated most. In the bushes, late that night began an obsession with oblivion that haunted me for all the days that followed. I thought about drinking and could not wait until I could do it again. I drank whenever I could from that point on.

I went to high school and met new friends. My first date was with a boy that had long hair, surfed and drove a VW bus. My parents hated him and I was crazy about him in a way I had never felt before, or since.

When I was around him nothing else mattered. Nothing. He took me to my first dance and before the event he pulled out cocaine. I knew I shouldn’t do it and I was scared but I looked at him, and felt my insides turn with a bitter excitement. My heart was pounding so hard that it felt like my chest bone might actually crack wide open. I wanted him to like me. I wanted him to see me as cool and not the terrified girl beneath the black and white prom dress. He asked me if I wanted some, and without hesitation, I said yes. Sweet oblivion followed.

My life was never again the same.

Mom: She began to change, gradually at first. I thought maybe it was just teenage behavior. She became angry, belligerent, and defiant.

The high school would call in the evening because she missed one or more classes that day. What was happening? She was always a diligent student, making good grades and completing assignments on time. It didn’t matter what boundary we set, she ignored them. She would sneak out at night and crawl back in her window in the early morning. I had a pain in my stomach all the time and many sleepless nights. I felt such shame that I couldn’t control my daughter.

Finally we took her to the first treatment center. They suggested I try Al Anon but I just wanted her to be fixed so my family could have peace again. I did go reluctantly to my first meeting and eventually found help for myself in the Al Anon program. I went to meetings three and four times a week. The first three steps, slogans and the friends I made were the springboard to a new life for me. I began to slowly find my voice again. I got a part time job that helped me gain

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confidence one day at a time.

But Kristina ran away from that treatment twice so we kidnapped her and took her to an isolated woman’s facility in Idaho where she would be unable to leave. Of course we received a call in the middle of the night that she had left at 3:00 am after the worst snowstorm in 50 years. You can imagine the knot in my stomach, fear just gripping me. I paced the floor, angry and terrified. The next day I went to my church and ask God to take her. “Let go and let God” kept going off in my head. What would I do without that slogan? I repeated it time and time again. Finally it landed someplace inside, I got it: I HAVE NO POWER OVER MY CHILD! What a relief. I felt so much lighter that day. This was a pivotal point for me. I realized she was in charge of her destiny and I was in charge of mine. I needed to continue working my program and prayed she would find her own someday.

Several weeks later she arrived at the door wanting a place to live.

I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was happy to see her alive but living with her was too much drama. I told her I loved her, so happy to know she was alive but she couldn’t come home and treatment was always available Kristina: The day my mom closed the door on me, was a turning point in my life. I descended quickly into the depths of addiction. I had jobs but was fired from every one. I worked only to earn drug money but soon my need to be high far outweighed minimum wage earnings. So I robbed 22 homes, desperate to feed an insatiable addiction. I thought about my mom every day and I wondered if there was any hope for me. I wished hard that things were different. I prayed that one day I would wake up and this would be a terrible nightmare.

I ended up homeless on the streets in SF. I was lost broken and hopelessly addicted. I ate out of dumpsters, begged for money and desperately tried to stay high. It was freezing and my bones ached with a mean and restless chill. The end came on a day that was no different from any other. I found a bottle of liquor in a dumpster and drank the bottle dry. I was going to throw myself into oncoming traffic but was arrested for being drunk in public.

I was put on a hold in a homeless shelter and on the floor of the bathroom, at the edge of eternity, inches away from the other side; I had a moment of clarity. I did not want to be addicted and I did not mean for any of this to happen. I saw so clearly that I had done this to myself and I was filled with regret that my life was going to end.

The last thought I remember having before I closed my eyes to die, was how sad my mom will be that it ended this way.

I am not sure why I walked out of that shelter alive, but I did.

I did go to treatment. I fought hard to come back from homelessness and addiction. I worked years to make peace with my family, the community, and myself where I caused so much harm.

I have earned many years of recovery. I have educated myself, Continued on page 30

To Advertise, Call 561-910-1943

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DEVELOPING RESILIENCE: KEEPING THE ADOLESCENT FOCUSED RETURNING TO SCHOOL

By Fred Dyer, Ph.D., CACD

The holidays are over, and some adolescents and their families were able to eat well, unwrap their Christmas presents, try on their new clothes, listen to their I-tunes (and I am happy for them).

However, there are those adolescents and their families who were not able to experience these joys. Regardless of how well the holidays went or did not, or whether the adolescent got what he or she wanted for Christmas, it is time for them to return to school, time to resume their studies, time to attend classes, which, for some adolescents, makes no sense (remember, I said in their minds); a time to reenter the challenges and stressors of peers, as well as those peers who are emotionally and pro-socially congruent with them. A time to struggle with him- or herself, a time to resume asking, what’s it all about, Alfie? – (Dionne Warwick, 1960s).

Adolescence is about searching and asking questions, and all of this resumes after the holidays. The holidays offered a moratorium (time out). The challenge for those working with adolescents in school or community-based substance abuse treatment settings is helping them focus on school and their recovery from drugs and alcohol. In light of the aforementioned struggle, helping them to regain their excitement about being a part of school life or helping the senior to cherish their last six months of an important part of their lives, which they will never forget.

As I continue to work with adolescents, I believe it is important to provide them with tools, strategies, and skill-sets that they can use, not only in the here and now, but also later in life. It is necessary to remember that adolescence is a journey, and for some it can be a struggle. Adolescents sometimes feel that they are not listened to (I know I felt that way when I was an adolescent). The thinking in the adolescent mind is, “If you won’t listen, then you don’t care about my feelings”. In tough times, the question is, “How can we help adolescents have an appropriate ventilation of affect?” The following four steps are useful in helping adolescents deal with their feelings when times are tough:

• • • • • •

Compassion but with detachment.

Ability to conceptualize.

Conviction of one’s right to survive.

Ability to remember and invoke images of good and sustaining figures.

Ability to be in touch with a variety of affects, not denying or suppressing major affects as they arrive.

A goal to live for, a vision of the possibility and desirability of the restoration of a civilized moral order, and the need and the ability to help others. One of the most endearing experiences that you and I can have as we continue our work with adolescents is to observe him or her having empathy for another, i.e., sharing their lunch, helping another pick up his or her books, helping another adolescent up after a fall on the ice.

An affective repertoire.

Altruism.

• Name them. Label what you are feeling. With this point they will require help in identifying their feelings.

• Accept them. Remember, it is okay to feel this way.

• Express them. Let your feelings out in a safe, appropriate way.

Here it is important for the adult to provide a safe place and for the adolescent to know that the adult is.

• Decide what you need to do to feel better. This is important.

Here the adolescent needs to know that he or she has choices and will probably require assistance from adults to sort out healthy vs. unhealthy, or adaptive vs. maladaptive, choices.

Before going any further, it is important to remember that a skill-set or a new behavior—even cognitive restructuring— means that the adolescent must have the opportunity to practice that new skill and the opportunity for practicing the new skills must be provided by those adults who are working with the adolescent, i.e., substance abuse counselors, school teachers, SAP workers, and coaches.

• •

In helping adolescents in their journey of recovery, being successful in school, in overcoming adversity, overcoming the challenges of life, and in the development of goals, it is necessary for adults to help them cultivate resilience. I am suggesting that there are factors that contribute to resilience in adolescents that enable them to continue in school, to be successful in their recovery, and which they can utilize in life. Research provides the following factors, which contribute to the development of resilience in adolescents:

Fred Dyer, PhD., CADC, is an internationally recognized speaker, trainer, author and consultant who services juvenile justice/detention/residential programs, child welfare/foster care agencies, child and adolescent residential facilities, mental health facilities and adolescent substance abuse prevention programs in the areas of implementation and utilization of evidence-based, gender-responsive, culturally competent, and developmentally and age appropriate practices. He can be reached at www.dyerconsulting.org

• Resourcefulness.

• Ability to attract and use adult support.

• Curiosity and intellectual mastery.

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Remember, when contemplating the development of resiliency in adolescents, it will be accomplished through episodic, teachable practice moments under adult supervision. Lastly, in helping adolescents in their journey, preparation is an important factor when buffering at-risk situations, whether they are substance use or bullying. Using a sports anachronism, even in therapy, we can help adolescents develop heart, which is defined as the characteristic that causes a person to be firm in his or her beliefs and to have determination to accomplish his or her goals. The goal for all adolescents is to go as far as their dreams will take them or to dream beyond their dreams. Can’t you see the adolescents you are working with at their senior prom with the following words blasting from the d.j.’s CD, “You can dance; you can jive; having the time of your life. See that girl; watch that scene, digging the dancing queen” (Abba, 1977)?

References Provided Upon Request

FEATURED SPEAKERS Patrick J. Kennedy served 16 years in the United States House of Representatives, distinguishing himself as a leader on issues of healthcare, sciences and mental health.

Kennedy will share his unique and personal perspective on addiction and mental health issues while providing insight on what must be done to shape critical policy decisions for the future.

Jane McGonigal, a best-selling author and game designer, presents her revolutionary approach toward behavioral health therapy through the use of alternate reality game design.

For more information and to register, please visit FoundationsEvents.com or call (877) 345-3360

To Advertise, Call 561-910-1943

27

DEAR READERS Dear Readers,

By Penny K.

Hi. My name is Penny. I’m an addict and I am 59 years old...I’ve been married for almost 30 years. I have an extraordinary husband and three amazing adult children who are actively involved in my recovery today. My life has changed dramatically and I have been clean for two years now, one day at a time.

My drug of choice was freebasing and crack cocaine. I used for the better part of 45 years. I used to live and lived to use. Nothing could stop my addiction. Nothing would subdue the obsessions or the cravings except ‘more’. More and more and then of course more was never enough. No jail, no institution, no intervention, no amount of love for my family, no amount of willpower, treatment center or psychiatrist, no therapies, no antidepressants, NOTHING would take away the obsession to use. The disease had a choke-hold on me.

It robbed my every waking moment and haunted my dreams. Drugs started out innocently enough as something fun to do, a mild release, an ‘experience’, a sweet high. Then, I found myself using them to cope and to just feel normal. As my disease progressed, recreational use escalated to need. The drugs turned on me and my life became completely unmanageable. I felt imprisoned in some wild and evil sinister nightmare, an apocalyptic downward spiral into a hell beyond comprehension. There was no way out. This disease destroyed everything and everyone in my path including my relationship with my husband, my three children, my extended family and my friends.

One day, I just knew that I’d had enough! The drugs had devastated me and what was left of me was nothing more than a smidgen of fragmented hope. My family members were falling down and all around me was this pervasive absence of light, an almost indescribable, inconsolable darkness. I walked into the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous so beaten down, empty, and desperate, completely ready and willing to do whatever I was told that might help me to save myself. I embraced all the

28

suggestions that were so freely offered to me. I felt love and acceptance.

NA does not promise you that the world will become a better place or that you will get your family back. It does not promise that you will become wealthy or that you will live “happily ever after” or forever, nor does it promise you that you will have perfect health. What NA does promise however, is that you will have a daily reprieve and that if you follow the simple 12 step program of recovery, you will find freedom from active addiction. Truthfully, this is all I ever wanted.

I knew that if I could just put down that insane crack pipe that my life would be a life beyond my wildest dreams. Today I’m clean only by the grace of God and through the program of Narcotics Anonymous.

Life is not perfect, not by a longshot. However, I’ve lost that heinous, monstrous obsession to use and that to me is the greatest gift of all. Thank you God and thank you NA. If you or anyone you know is suffering from the disease of alcoholism and/or addiction please pick up the phone and get help. The disease of addiction affects everyone.

We reach out and we recover. We do it together in NA. You never have to feel this way ever again. You are not alone. That’s the promise of Narcotics Anonymous. Feel free to share this article in the hopes that it may reach other suffering addicts who don’t know that there is a better way to live. In NA we will love you until you love yourself and we will show you a “design for living”, a freedom you never thought possible.

Thank you for your time, Penny ♥ Addendum: Make sure to get a sponsor, someone with a year or more clean and sober who has a working knowledge of the 12 steps of AA /NA. Someone who believes in you and who will be there for you no matter what. Having an experienced ‘fellow’ to guide you through the steps and someone who can relate to what you are experiencing is crucial.

A DV E R T I S I N G O P P O R T U N I T I E S

The Sober World is a free national online e-magazine as well as a printed publication. We use an educational and informative approach as an outreach to parents, families, groups and others who have loved ones struggling with addiction.

FOR ADVERTISING OPPORTUNITIES IN OUR MAGAZINE OR ON OUR WEBSITE, PLEASE CONTACT PATRICIA AT 561-910-1943.

We invite you to visit our website at www.thesoberworld.com You will find an abundance of helpful information from resources and services to important links, announcements, gifts, books and articles from contributors throughout the country.

For our e-magazine, send your request to patricia@thesoberworld.com.

If you would like to submit an article for publication, please contact patricia@thesoberworld.com for further information.

Please visit us on Face Book at The Sober World or Steven Sober-World Visit online Face Book at www.facebook.com/pages/The-SoberWorld/445857548800036 or Steven Sober-World Twitter at www.twitter.com/thesoberworld LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/pub/patricia-rosen/51/210/955/

For more information contact Patricia at 561-910-1943 To Advertise, Call 561-910-1943

Calling all leaders!

Join us for the addiction eXecutives industry summit (aXis). For its first year in 2014, more than 400 addiction executives and leaders met at aXis for an intensive 3-day “executive boot camp.” aXis offers executive-level leadership and strategic guidance by incorporating skill-building and direct intervention into challenges organizations are currently facing.

This is accomplished with peer interaction, mentoring, and insights from industry experts. Don’t miss this valuable team learning experience.

For more information or to register, visit www.axissummit.com. addiction eXecutives industry summit February 8-11, 2015 Naples Grande Beach Resort, Naples, FL

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‘TIS THE SEASON: AVOIDING RELAPSE IN NEW SOBRIETY DURING THE HOLIDAYS By: Sheila Dunnells, Ph.D., CCDP, L-ADC, BC

gifts a destroyed relationship revive.

Want to retain your sobriety? Don’t judge your circumstances against the Hallmark version of the holidays.

Married and Sober If you are married, and going through a confusing time dealing with new sobriety, do not put your feelings under a microscope.

Feelings are not facts- they change.

Don’t torture yourself by scouring the crowds in every mall, looking for happy couples to prove how unlucky you are in love! You really do not know how they are feeling about each other. “Don’t judge your insides by someone else’s outsides.”

Even with some resistance to your being at meetings all the time, attend them. Invite your spouse to an Al-Anon meeting.

At this moment in time, sobriety is the first priority!

Spouse, Children or Friends Don’t enable anyone in your life who relapses- spouse, child or significant other.

Don’t clean up the mess, whether that means calling a boss because he/she can’t make it to work or telling friends he/she has the flu and can’t attend the Holiday Dinner.

If, on the morning after, someone is obnoxious and hung over, go out. Attend an Al-Anon meeting; go to church; visit your therapist; have lunch with a friend. Do not be a victim.

THE SILENT ASSAULT ON AMERICANS WITH ADDICTIONS A NEW YEAR WITH OLD CHALLENGES By: John Giordano DHL, MAC

Continued from page 8

be approved. One of the panel’s members, Dr. Judith Kramer of Duke University, eloquently summed up the panel’s reasoning this way: “It’s striking me, as I’m listening to people give their reasons, that this drug is, in a way, held to a lower standard because of all the other drugs that we’ve accepted [with] this kind of profile … This drug will almost certainly cause dependence in the people that are intended to take it. I realize there has to be a level playing field in terms of business practice, but the primary thing has to be the public health.”

In late October 2013 the FDA announced they had approved Zohydro ER application. “I firmly believe that the benefits of this product outweigh its risks,” Rappaport wrote in the summary review.

The more I see the more I agree with Donald Light in that we can no longer trust the FDA to carry out its core mission of protecting the public health while there is no barrier between this federal regulation body and the corporate interests it is supposed to be supervising. It seems to me the roles have reversed with the FDA doing the bidding of the makers of drugs that have already killed hundreds of thousands of Americans. We’ll put an end to this opioid epidemic when we dissolve this Godless “wink and a nod” relationship between the makers of the poison and the organization that is supposed to be regulating them.

“Mercy to the guilty is cruelty to the innocent.” ― Adam Smith; author of “The Wealth of Nations” (1776) and considered to be the father of modern day capitalism.

John Giordano DHL, MAC is a counselor, President and Founder of the National Institute for Holistic Addiction Studies, Laser Therapy Spa in Hallandale Beach and Chaplain of the North Miami Police Department. For the latest development in cutting-edge treatment check out his website: www.holisticaddictioninfo.com

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Continued from page 6

Never let anyone drive you home if they have relapsed. Drive yourself, or take a cab and take the keys.

New Year’s Eve This holiday can trigger many of your fondest drunk-o-logue stories. If so, give yourself permission to forget about it for this year. It is one day out of the year. Actually, it is a few hours, in the evening, of one day of the year. You do not have to be alone. Find some sober activities.

What to Do? • • • • •

Attend a 12 Step meeting.

Remember your Serenity Prayer.

Be on speed dial with your sponsor.

Attend a gathering, hosted by a 12 Step member.

Remember your 12 Step Slogans, for example: “Let Go and Let God.” Ask yourself, “How important is it?”

“Take it One Day at a Time.”

• H.A.L.T. - Never get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired.

Dr. Dunnells is an International Addictions and Co-Occurring Disorders Counselor (IC & RC). She has a sub-specialty in bereavement counseling and is pursuing a certification in anger management. Her mission is to use “all my knowledge to help people get out from under their addictions and start repairing the hearts they have broken, the relationships they have damaged, and the lives they have stalled.

Dr. Dunnells can be reached at: www.drsheilaherenow.net

A MOTHER’S AND DAUGHTER’S WORST NIGHTMARE

By Constance Curry and Kristina Wandzilak

Continued from page 24

started an international addiction intervention practice where I travel and work with families and addicts who are in crisis with addiction. I am an author of an acclaimed memoir that I wrote with my mom and the recipient of the Prism award for the document series- Addicted, on the Discovery network.

However, one of the greatest gifts of recovery is my relationship with my mom. By letting me go she enabled me to find my way to the bottom, where I could then, and only then, find the willingness to change my life. My mom loved me enough to let me go, and through her own recovery, illuminated the way out. She is the bravest woman I know and the hero of my story and countless others.

Mom: I am proud of my daughter today. She has been sober 21 years and works in the field of addiction. She has two lovely, healthy children and I hope they will follow a different path from their mother.

My daughter and I have written a book together called THE LOST YEARS, Surviving a Mother and Daughter’s worst nightmare. We tell our story to understand what happened to us and to help others suffering from family addiction. We want others to know they are not alone, there is help and hope.

I can’t say I am happy my daughter is an addict but I am happy that we have shared our experience with others. I like showing my children we can make mistakes in life, sometimes big mistakes, acknowledge them and be different. It isn’t the adversity that comes our way but how we handle it that defines us.

What makes Holistic Recovery Center different?

Treatment Programs: ` Addiction

` Adult Residential

Holistic Recovery Center’s focus is highly individualized. The client to therapist ratio is never more than 6 clients per therapist. Holistic Recovery Center offers more weekly one-on-one sessions than virtually anywhere else.

` Dual Diagnosis

Holistic Recovery Center is truly holistic.

The focus is on healing the mind,body and soul, not just the substance abuse, for a full and lasting recovery.

Out/Inpatient:

Some of the everyday holistic activities include: beach yoga, chiropractic, acupuncture, meditation and more.

Client centered facility with 35 beds to ensure the best level of care. Holistic Recovery Center also offers fully furnished apartments with the finest amenities a home could offer.

Holistic Recovery Center provides full spa treatments such as manicures, pedicures and haircuts.

Enjoy yourself while in treatment with weekend activities such as Go-Kart racing, sporting events, trips to local art museums, etc.

To Advertise, Call 561-910-1943

` Residential Relapse Recovery ` Substance Abuse • Alcohol • Cocaine • Methamphetamine

• Marijuana • Opiate

` Intensive Outpatient Program ` Outpatient

` Partial Hospitalization (Day Treatment)

` Residential Inpatient Treatment Give up the daily struggle that is caused by active addiction and begin a new chapter in your life, it can all start with a simple phone call!

1-877-673-9048

www.holisticrecoverycenters.com 7709 Davie Road Extension Hollywood, FL 33024 1-877-673-9048

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P.O. BOX 880175 BOCA RATON, FLORIDA 33488-0175 www.thesoberworld.com

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