Nov14 issue

INTERVIEW WITH DAVE PELZER THE LOSS OF A CHILD WHEN “WINNING” IS LOSING “THE PRESCRIPTION DRUG EPIDEMIC: THE TREATMENT PROFESSIONAL’S ROLE”

ADDICTION – THE BRAIN DISEASE ARE YOU A PEOPLE-PLEASER? THE REEL RECOVERY FILM FESTIVAL FROM DEFIANCE TO RELIANCE: MY JOURNEY INTO RECOVERY!

TAKING THE FIRST STEP: THE TRANSFORMATION BEGINS HERE AND NOW

THE POWER OF ENERGY HEALING FOR ADDICTIVE DISORDERS

PROGRAM SETTINGS AND TREATMENT OPTIONS FOR SUBSTANCE USING JUVENILE OFFENDERS

REMEMBERING THE LOST AND EMPOWERING THE LIVING

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A LETTER FROM THE PUBLISHER Dear Readers, I welcome you to The Sober World magazine. The Sober World is an informative magazine that’s designed to help parents and families who have loved ones struggling with addiction. We are a printed publication in South Florida, as well as an online e-magazine reaching people globally in their search for information about Drug and Alcohol Abuse.

We directly mail our printed magazine each month to whoever has been arrested for drugs or alcohol in Palm Beach County as well as distributing locally to the schools, colleges, drug court, coffee houses, meeting halls, doctor offices and more throughout Palm Beach and Broward County. We also directly mail to many rehabs throughout the state and country.

Our monthly magazine is available for free on our website at www.thesoberworld.com.

If you would like to receive an E-version monthly of the magazine, please send your e-mail address to patricia@thesoberworld.com Drug addiction has reached epidemic proportions throughout the country and is steadily increasing. It is being described as “the biggest man-made epidemic” in the United States. More people are dying from drug overdoses than from any other cause of injury death, including traffic accidents, falls or guns.

Many Petty thefts are drug related, as the addicts need for drugs causes them to take desperate measures in order to have the ability to buy their drugs. The availability of prescription narcotics is overwhelming; as parents our hands are tied.

Purdue Pharma, the company that manufactures Oxycontin generated $3.1 BILLION in revenue in 2010? Scary isn’t it?

Addiction is a disease but there is a terrible stigma attached to it. As family members affected by this disease, we are often too ashamed to speak to anyone about our loved ones addiction, feeling that we will be judged. We try to pass it off as a passing phase in their lives, and some people hide their head in the sand until it becomes very apparent such as through an arrest, getting thrown out of school or even worse an overdose, that we realize the true extent of their addiction.

I know that many of you who are reading this now are frantic that their loved one has been arrested. No parent ever wants to see his or her child arrested or put in jail, but this may be your opportunity to save your child or loved one’s life. They are more apt to listen to you now than they were before, when whatever you said may have fallen on deaf ears. This is the point where you know your loved one needs help, but you don’t know where to begin.

I have compiled this informative magazine to try to take that fear and anxiety away from you and let you know there are many options to choose from.

There are Psychologists and Psychiatrists that specialize in treating people with addictions. There are Education Consultants that will work with you to figure out what your loved ones needs are and come up with the best plan for them. There are Interventionists who will hold an intervention and try to convince your loved one that they need help. There are detox centers that provide medical supervision to help them through the withdrawal process, There are Transport Services that will scoop up your resistant loved one (under the age of 18 yrs. old) and bring them to the facility you have choTo Advertise, Call 561-910-1943

sen. There are long term Residential Programs (sometimes a year and longer) as well as short term programs (30-90 days), there are Therapeutic Boarding Schools, Wilderness programs, Extended Living and there are Sober Living Housing where they can work, go to meetings and be accountable for staying clean.

Many times a Criminal Attorney will try to work out a deal with the court to allow your child or loved one to seek treatment as an alternative to jail. I know how overwhelming this period can be for you and I urge every parent or relative of an addict to get some help for yourself. There are many groups that can help you. There is Al-Anon, Alateen (for teenagers), Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon and more. This is a disease that affects the whole family, not just the parents.

These groups allow you to share your thoughts and feelings. As anonymous groups, your anonymity is protected. Anything said within those walls are not shared with anyone outside the room. You share only your first name, not your last name. This is a wonderful way for you to be able to openly convey what has been happening in your life as well as hearing other people share their stories. You will find that the faces are different but the stories are all too similar. You will also be quite surprised to see how many families are affected by drug and alcohol addiction.

Addiction knows no race or religion; it affects the wealthy as well as the poor, the highly educated, old, young-IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. This magazine is dedicated to my son Steven who graduated with top honors from University of Central Florida. He graduated with a degree in Psychology, and was going for his Masters in Applied Behavioral Therapy.

He was a highly intelligent, sensitive young man who helped many people get their lives on the right course. He could have accomplished whatever he set his mind out to do. Unfortunately, after graduating from college he tried a drug that was offered to him not realizing how addictive it was and the power it would have over him.

My son was 7 months clean when he relapsed and died of a drug overdose. I hope this magazine helps you find the right treatment for your loved one. They have a disease and like all diseases, you try to find the best care suited for their needs. They need help.

Deaths from prescription drug overdose have been called the “silent epidemic” for years. There is approximately one American dying every 17 minutes from an accidental prescription drug overdose. Please don’t allow your loved one to become a statistic. I hope you have found this magazine helpful. You may also visit us on the web at www.thesoberworld.com.

We are on Face Book at www.facebook.com/pages/The-SoberWorld/445857548800036 or Steven Sober-World, Twitter at www.twitter. com/thesoberworld, and LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/pub/patriciarosen/51/210/955/.

I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.

Sincerely,

Patricia

Publisher Patricia@TheSoberWorld.com

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those facing alcohol or drug related charges in the court system.

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5

INTERVIEW WITH DAVE PELZER

By Patricia

Dave Pelzer is the author of several autobiographical and self-help books but he is best known for his 1995 memoir of child abuse, A Child Called “it”. It was the #1 New York Times Bestseller for over 6 years, as well as a #1 International bestseller. It is currently translated in nearly forty languages and has been read by millions throughout the world.

Dave Pelzer is the survivor of the third worst case of child-abuse in California’s history at the hands of an alcoholic and mentally unstable mother. He agreed to sit with me and give me an interview.

Patricia: I don’t know where to begin and all I can say is it is a miracle you are still here. There are so many questions I would like to ask but foremost, is there anything you would rather not talk about?

Dave: No, talking about it still helps me and if I can help one person from this interview then I will be happy.

Patricia: How did you come to name the book a child called “it” Dave: That’s what my mother called me. She never called me by my name. She called me “it” or “boy”.

Patricia: At what age do you remember the abuse starting?

Dave: It was around the time I turned 4.

Patricia: Why then, did something happen that triggered something or set her off?

Dave: I really don’t know. I know she was drinking then and having babies close together. I was the second to the oldest and we were 5 boys!

Patricia: What kind of things did your mother do?

Dave: Well, for one thing I wasn’t allowed to look at any of my brothers or anyone for that matter in the eyes. I had to walk with my head down, I was forced to sit in a room and breathe in ammonia and Clorox, if I didn’t finish my chores she would make me swallow ammonia, she burned my arm on a stove, forced me to eat my own vomit, I slept on an army cot in the basement and the list goes on.

Patricia: Didn’t your brothers try to do anything?

Dave: No, you have to understand we were all pretty young and they were afraid of her doing it to them so they pretended nothing was wrong Patricia: What about your father? Where was he when this was going on?

Dave: My father was a very passive man. He also was an alcoholic.

He was a fire fighter # 1522-A.He was always working. I loved my father. I would tell him what she was doing and he would say it would get better or that he would do something about it but he never did. He ended up leaving our home because my mother was always berating him.

Patricia: What was the most trying moment for you?

Dave: It was after my mother beat me for not doing the dishes, I went to my father and he told me I should get back in and finish the dishes. That was the loneliest moment of my life.

Patricia: What about your friends?

Dave: I didn’t have any friends. I wasn’t allowed to. I also didn’t feel good about myself to even try to make friends. I smelled, my clothes were dirty and I was always hungry. My mother didn’t take care of me like most mothers do.

Patricia: What about your teachers? Surely someone must have noticed something.

Dave: Yes, her name was Ms. Moss. She told the principal and my mother went to the school all indignant and raised a stink. She got herself dressed up, and she was on the PTA so back then the schools backed down. They didn’t want to start with the parents.

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They ended up removing Ms. Moss from the school.

Patricia: It seems so sad that all this could have stopped years before it actually did.

Dave: I know but back then there were no child abuse laws and people rarely got involved in other people’s business.

Patricia: Did she ever pick on your brothers or abuse them?

Dave: No, it was called Target child selection. This is where a parent singles out one child for abuse.

Patricia: So what finally happened? How were you eventually saved?

Dave: In 1973 my teachers stepped in again and thankfully I was removed from my home and placed in foster care. I still remember to thank those teachers each year except I can’t find the school nurse. I remember them like it was yesterday- Mr. Ziegler my 5th grade homeroom teacher, Mr. Hanson- my principle, Ms. Howell, the school librarian and the school nurse.

Patricia: How were your foster parents?

Dave: I really liked my foster family but I was in and out of like 8 of them. I used to stutter but they taught me how to stop. I really liked this one family.

Patricia: Did you ever use drugs or alcohol to help self-medicate or to forget what happened to you?

Dave: No, on the contrary. I worked twice as hard as the next person to accomplish whatever it was that I wanted to do. If I took algebra I would take every algebra class available. I am not afraid of making a mistake. I learn from them. I wanted to join the air force but failed the test. I took that test over and over until I finally passed. I served in the Gulf War. I am very focused Patricia: How did you move forward and don’t the scars of the abuse you suffered haunt you to this day?

Dave: yes, the scars are always there but everyone has some sort of scar. I don’t let it disenable me. I keep my humor, that’s what got me through the Gulf war. The thing is when I start to think about it, I recognize it and I work on it. When I see something I don’t like, I set limitations and work on it. I believe life is a blessing and we need to be resilient. I exercise and this helps me keep my mind clear.

Patricia: I understand you received personal recommendations from 4 presidents, was honored as 1 of the 10 outstanding young Americans and later was the only American to be honored as the outstanding young person in the world. That’s quite an accomplishment. Anything else I’m missing?

Dave: I also received the National Jefferson award which is considered the Pulitzer Prize for public service AND I got to meet Roger Moore while in Japan.

Patricia: wow that must have been exciting Dave: It was. I also met Ronald Reagan.

Patricia: You have come a long way from that boy named “it”. Do you have any children?

Dave: I do, a son. He is a parole office. I was the second person to hold him. I learned from him. We played ball together, we both are James Bond fans, and we both like the Giants. With him, I feel like I was given a second for my lost youth. Through him, I learned what it was like to be young.

Patricia: Have you ever received therapy and what have you learned about yourself?

Continued on page 32

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7

THE LOSS OF A CHILD

By Asa Don Brown, Ph.D., C.C.C., D.N.C.C.M., F.A.A.E.T.S. Dear Reader, As a clinician, I have written the following article to help those who have experienced the loss of a child. Whether you have lost a child from a miscarriage, an accident, an illness or an overdose; the pain remains unimaginable and the grief is unexplainable. Simply put, to lose a child is the most gut-wrenching experience any person should endure. While the causation of the child’s death may differ, a parent is a parent and a child is a child.

May this article prove a genuine source of inspiration.

Warm Regards, Dr. Asa Don Brown “To lose a child is to lose a piece of yourself.” ~Dr. Burton Grebin There is no greater grief, than when a parent losses a child. As a person, I had never truly experienced such a gut-wrenching heartache, until the day that my wife and I lost a child. As a therapist, some may think that I am trained to have “all the known answers,” but the truth is, there are no answers, quick fixes, or remedies to mend the heartbreak around the loss of a child.

The loss of a child is an inconceivable and it is an unimaginable experience. While my wife and I never had an opportunity to get to know our child by physical touch, perception, or smell; we had already bonded with our developing child.

MY DAUGHTER’S HEARTACHE The day that we were told that our child had passed on, was the most egregious experience of my life. On this very day, not only had I lost my child, but my precious and tendered hearted Delilah experienced the loss of a sibling. At the time, my daughter was a mere 5 years of age, but her cry and her mournful spirit penetrated the very nature of my being. At that moment, I recognized not only the impact that this loss had on myself, my loving wife, but the dire impact that it had on my precious daughter. For me, the loss was like an ocean of emotions consuming my person, but it was further deepened by witnessing the breach of my daughter’s innocence.

Furthermore, it was the tenderness of my daughter’s cry that pierced my heart and my soul. It was like I had experienced yet a second loss, a loss of my precious daughter’s innocence and my inability to protect her from harm that broke my spirit.

MY LOVE’S PAIN “Generally women are more expressive about their loss, and more likely to seek support from others. Men may be more actionoriented, tend to gather facts and problem solve, and therefore often do not choose to participate in support networks that consist of sharing feelings. This does not mean he is not grieving.

Often men bury themselves in work when they are grieving.” ~ American Pregnancy Association The day that the love of my life and I lost our child, was one of the most heartbreaking experiences within the context of our relationship. My wife, my love and my best-friend was devastated, and I felt helpless, without an ability to provide complete comfort. I knew that I was incapable of offering a word or providing an offering that would have removed the pain from her mind and her person. I felt broken, dismayed, and guilty that I was incapable of protecting my wife from an egregious experience. Moreover, my wife was conveying feelings of regret, blame, shame and guilt over the loss of our child. Despite all of my formal education in psychology, I felt at a loss and puzzled how to proceed. Notably, while I am formally trained, I have long ago realized that my humanhood remains a vital part of my person. Clinicians often are expected to remain

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professional in “all” circumstances and events, but the truth is, we are human too.

THE LOSS OF A CHILD FROM A FATHER’S PERSPECTIVE “When a woman miscarries, the experience of the father is often forgotten. But men grieve pregnancy loss too...” ~ Author Unknown The loss of my child broke my spirit. I do not feel that I have ever weeped so deeply or so intensely. While my wife and I never had an opportunity to celebrate the birth of our child, our loss was just as profound and genuine as the loss of a birthed child.

As a father and a husband, I felt incapable of protecting both my daughter and the love of my life. I felt such an emptiness and hollowness that even to this day I am incapable of fully expressing the loss of my precious child.

“Men are often relegated to a supporting role during pregnancy loss. The focus usually falls on the mother--her physical and emotional needs, her experience, her recovery. But fathers are deeply affected by pregnancy loss.” As a clinician, I had no real idea or fathomable comprehension of the authentic pain that occurs when one loses a child. The loss of a child burrows deep into your soul. As a father, I personally felt my emotions and feelings had been dismissed by my friends, family, and my professional associates. I am not an attention seeker, but in my time of need, I felt abandoned and as though the urgency of my pain was unimportant. As a clinician, I had heard these words, but it was not until I had this experience, was I capable of completely understanding the pain associated with the loss of a child.

WELL MEANING WORDS AND UNTIMELY STATEMENTS “Losing a child is unspeakably painful, so finding the right words to say to those grieving can be difficult.” ~ Kira Brekke The day of our loss, brought with it many well intended words.

Many of the words brought warmth and comfort, while others fell sadly short. Have you ever experienced words of comfort and condolences? Did you feel that the individual offering the sympathetic expressions were authentic in his or her communication? Many well-meaning words often fall short of their target message. While the words may be sincere, the message of sincerity may have had a shortfall.

As humans, we have all encountered, or at least witnessed, someone receiving words of comfort. We ourselves may have been the individual responsible for offering the supportive communication. The words may have been met with acceptance or rejection, but either way, you felt compelled to share your heart. Speaking words of comfort is a balancing act teetering on empathetic and sympathetic. While empathetic words are an ability to understand and share the feelings of another; sympathetic words are frequently met with pity and sorrow for another.

Unfortunately, sincerity is not always the best approach to helping someone deal with personal loss. In some cases, a silent word, a warm embrace or the simple knowledge that you are present is the best approach to offering comfort. Even if our words of comfort and condolences were a sincere attempt to provide an expression of sympathy, we may have missed the target of being empathetic.

It is extremely important that our words are always balanced with sincerity and empathy.

My wife and I experienced a variety of communications. In some cases, the words were thoughtful and encouraging, while Continued on page 28

To Advertise, Call 561-910-1943

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WHEN “WINNING” IS LOSING

By Yolanda Adams, CAP and Jennifer Nelson, LCSW, CSAT When a client comes into treatment, usually they aren’t seeking help strictly from an internal motivation of wanting to change every aspect of their life. More often than not, they come in due to an external force that has caused them to “surrender” to a certain extent. When the external pressures become overwhelming, the goal is to find relief in the short-term: housing, food, medical detox, freedom from jail, etc. These solutions are never long lasting, if the motivation is not accompanied by a deeper reason to stay sober.

For years, counselors have been serenaded with a chorus of misguided statements, such as: “I can beat this” or “I just made a mistake” and of course the mantra “I won’t make that same mistake again.” All these statements point to a belief system that they can win or outsmart their addiction or consequences if they just make minor changes to their behavior, or attempt to change others perceptions of how they are doing. At this point, life has become a game to protect themselves from further disappointment or hurt.

The game of life never began with the addict “winning” When someone is in active addiction, their life becomes a game where they seek the thrill of the “hustle.” Figuring out what their next move is, how to get more drugs, who to buy from and how to make more money to support their habit. People become obstacles or barriers to getting the end prize and relationships become more about what can you give me or what can you do for me, rather than what can I do for you.

Many suffering with addictive disorders often feel they are the ones being used or “played” with in life. Some grew up in homes with detached relationships, absent parents, a lack of structure and positive role models. Some feel like they were neglected and grew up with belief systems of “I am not good enough, smart enough or pretty enough.” As they grow older, these distorted beliefs begin to translate into “you cannot trust others in the world around you” –laying a foundation for a myriad of personality, mood, and psychological dysfunctions. They begin to attract others with the same belief systems and begin to look at how they can survive in this cruel world and how to gain control and power over their lives and others so they can stop the pain. This internal dialogue looks something like “hurt them before they have a chance to hurt you” or “don’t trust anyone” These statements take a person from building human connections to becoming opponents in battle.

Winning becomes about never having to show vulnerability. The battle creates a false illusion that they are in control as the world is falling apart around them, again a reminder of their childhood hurt or disappointment that they will fight to avoid at all cost, even to the “loss” of their sobriety. The misperception stems from being vulnerable as a child and believing that this follows you into adulthood; and that the only way to avoid feeling pain is to never show vulnerability which is translated into having power in all situations or “winning” One of the most important treatment goals when attempting to help a person with this distorted “winning” is to take the battle away by not engaging. This is a lot easier said than done. In order to create change, you have to redefine an entire belief system. The way to do that is not be a player in the game. The counselor must be a mentor for how to reconstruct a life framework to show the client what “winning” truly looks like, and more than that, how it feels.

There are a lot of pitfalls that counselors fall into when dealing with a client that sets treatment up as a game. If our goal is to build rapport, point out flaws in thinking or living, create solutions and change belief systems we need to be aware that a lot of times their goals are the same when interacting with us. The game plan is to make the counselor feel (and yes believe) like they are the

10

“one” that understands. Once they have “gained rapport”, then the manipulation begins. They start to point out flaws--flaws in the current program, in their past programs, in other therapist, in themselves, in their peers, in their parents. Though they seem to be engaged in their treatment it is just a clever ruse. They are setting the stage to get what they want.

The counselor may feel that they are being held hostage…which… they are. The counselor is at the place of wanting to negotiate or compromise so that the client won’t walk away. The client knows this and oftentimes wins, based on the counselor’s fear of “losing” them. If you do not give them what they are asking for, they will turn on you, begin stating that you have not met their needs, you lied, you are not a good counselor, etc. Then the threats come of “I am leaving, I want someone who understands me.” This is where a counselor will engage in the battle. I have heard time and time again “isn’t it better to meet them halfway, than to have them leave?” My response would be, not if you are engaging in a win or lose battle. If they have set it up as a game, you will just be another player that they can conquer. If they have to leave to get it, they have to leave to get it. If you begin making deals, you are teaching them that life is a game. If you are thinking that “I can help them in a way that others haven’t” or you have what it takes, aren’t you playing the same game?

So what is the solution? Be human and vulnerable, set boundaries and show them that others are not objects but people who can help if they are willing to roll their sleeves and fight the true battle-which is how to believe in themselves. This awareness comes when the individual is allowed to look at their choices, make a decision, act upon this, whatever it may be without interjection from another player (counselor, sponsor, treatment center) which they can use at any given time to keep the game going.

Jennifer Nelson is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker that has worked in the field of addiction since 2007. Jennifer is a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist, EMDR trained, has extensive training using psychodrama and experiential techniques. She is the Clinical Director at Insight to Recovery.

Yolanda has an MS in Social Work and a BA in Journalism. She is trained in EMDR, addressing trauma-related issues, substance abuse and dual diagnosis. Yolanda is director of Utilization Management & Review at Insight to Recovery

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11

“THE PRESCRIPTION DRUG EPIDEMIC: THE TREATMENT PROFESSIONAL’S ROLE”

By Mel Pohl, MD, FASAM

Enough painkillers were prescribed in 2010 to medicate every American adult around-the-clock for a month, according to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC). Although most of these pills were prescribed for medical purposes, many ended up in the hands of people who misused or abused them.

The CDC, the Office of National Drug Control Policy, the Drug Enforcement Administration, the Food and Drug Administration, and Congress have identified that we are in the midst of an epidemic of prescription drug misuse, dependence, and overdose, meaning that a disproportionately large number of individuals within communities across the US are being affected at the same time.

Additional statistics from the CDC confirm that deaths from prescription painkillers have reached epidemic levels in the past decade. Consider that the number of overdose deaths from these doctor-approved medications is now greater than deaths from heroin and cocaine overdoses combined. More deaths are caused by prescription overdoses than by motor vehicle accidents. Over 16,000 overdose deaths occurred in 2012.

A big part of the problem is the nonmedical use of prescription painkillers: when prescription drugs are used recreationally for the “high” they create. In 2010, in fact, about twelve million Americans age twelve or older reported nonmedical use of prescription painkillers in the previous year. The problem also involves patients in pain who take the drugs and whose lives get worse. In fact, most people who die from overdoses had legitimate prescriptions and accidentally took too much or combined the painkillers with sedatives, resulting in respiratory arrest.

Improving the Prescription Process Improving the way prescription painkillers are authorized and prescribed to patients can reduce the number of people who misuse, abuse, or overdose on these drugs. It is estimated that over 100 million Americans suffer from chronic pain and many of these people become dependent and addicted to opioids, starting with prescriptions from well-meaning doctors.

As I lecture around the country on chronic pain and addiction, I am always asked these questions by professionals: • Why do doctors prescribe so much medication?

• Why don’t doctors warn their patients about the long-term risks of opioids, including tolerance and physical dependence?

• Why do doctors keep prescribing, even when patients are showing signs of decreased function and/or addiction?

• What can I do if I encounter a patient in such a situation?

Stepping in for a Patient’s Protection I regularly hear complaints about doctors prescribing medications to patients who are in substance abuse treatment programs, for example, “Mr. Jones was on twenty-four medications. What can we do about doctors who prescribe so many at once? I can’t call the doctor; I’m only a social worker/counselor/marriage and family therapist, and the doctor won’t listen to me.”

Treatment professionals are frustrated, feeling powerless to influence a pain management system that is based on prescribing habit-forming medications. And yet they have an important opportunity to collaborate with doctors on behalf of their patients.

It is unreasonable to believe that all doctors are unapproachable or uninterested in hearing from a treatment professional. Send a signed release from your patient ahead of time, authorizing you to contact the doctor, perhaps with a note asking if you might arrange a time to call. Many will be grateful to know that you are working with their patient. Offer yourself as a resource to the doctor, and ask about any concerns with the patient’s medication use; often he or she will acknowledge concerns about how to address them.

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Anticipate that most prescribers want to do the right thing, but some find that giving in to a patient’s request for pain-relieving medication—and then hoping for the best—is easier than denying it and risking a conflict-ridden conversation. Then, if the patient expresses concerns about reactions to the drug, these physicians will simply change the dosage or prescribe a different medication without much consideration of other approaches.

Addressing Challenges If a doctor will not discuss a case with you or won’t call you back, what then? Determine if there is a way to reach him or her in any other way. Consider scheduling an appointment to visit the doctor’s office or clinic and get acquainted with the office management or other practitioners who could help facilitate a meeting. Or perhaps send a letter of explanation to someone who might be able to get it directly to the doctor.

In addition, talk with patients who are in these situations to determine their goals. If they want help stepping down from medications, suggest ways they can explain this to their doctors.

In this way, you’ll be teaching patients how to advocate for themselves. You can even offer to rehearse these conversations, with you playing the role of the physician.

Addiction counselors and therapists are in the perfect position to help doctors in these matters. They are already experienced in motivating patients who are ambivalent or fearful about change or advocating for their own health. These same skills can be used to motivate doctors to be mindful of how they prescribe opioid medications. Counselors may find that many doctors will be pleased to know that their patient is working with a treatment professional and will be willing to collaborate on the best overall care plan for that individual.

Continued on page 24

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TAKING THE FIRST STEP: THE TRANSFORMATION BEGINS HERE AND NOW

By Larry Smith, CAS III

Step 1: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.”

This is where addiction took me…

For many years my life was unconsciously unmanageable as I displayed the classic forms of denial: I rationalized, minimized and projected the cause of all my problems onto other people until…

One day, after a four-day binge of cocaine and alcohol I came face to face with myself in the mirror. As I stared into my eyes I started screaming obscenities and calling myself every vulgar word that came to mind. My screams turned into tears and I saw myself exactly as I was: a sniveling, pathetic crack-head who was totally addicted to booze and cocaine. I had turned my life’s extraordinary blessings into a deep-seated hatred for myself and for God. No matter what promises I had made to others and myself, I could not stop drinking or using cocaine. As the tears subsided I wondered how I could end my life and make it look like an accident. Little did I know I had not yet hit my bottom.

Sickness and death are the physical expressions of the fear of awakening. By experiencing the 12 steps, we receive the gift of a spiritual awakening. This gift releases us from the fear, chaos and drama associated with our previous existence. With this gift we are reborn into a new life in which we finally experience reality. Miracles, awakenings, and reality come to us – we do not go to them. They are blessings we receive by simply aligning our wills with God’s will.

Admitting powerlessness instills the acceptance of our situation. As we unearth the willingness to surrender, we open the door to change.

Seeking courage and surrender once appeared to be contradicting concepts, but in recovery, they go hand in hand. Our healing begins with a divine awareness that we are not alone on this worldly journey.

Transforming from a state of unconscious unmanageability to conscious unmanageability brings a suffering addict to the proverbial fork in the road. We have finally awakened from our self-induced stupor of ignorance to the acknowledgement that something is terribly wrong with the way we are living. Our life is still unmanageable but now we are aware of it.

For most people suffering from addiction this is the first time they have objectively looked at themselves. The pain and disgust they see has finally overridden denial and blind arrogance. Admitting unmanageability and surrendering to powerlessness over our lives is truly the first step to transformation. The first of many decisions in recovery starts right here, right now. Sadly for some, admitting without surrendering is a far as they ever get. They are stuck in the state of conscious incompetence. Some may visualize a new life, but without taking any action, visualization is just another form of hallucination. Surrendering is a spiritual lesson that must be learned in recovery.

Step 1 suggests we are powerless over something: alcohol, drugs, sex, overeating, gambling or shopping. While we had the power to choose the object or objects of our powerlessness, we have become powerless over life itself. The problem does not lie with the drugs, alcohol or food – it lies within us. We are guilty of merely existing in a far too human world as opposed to living as the divinely spiritual beings that we were created to be. We may suffer from guilt when we acknowledge our past indiscretions, but we can readily forgive ourselves of human mistakes. Simply asking for forgiveness initiates the healing process of guilt. Shame, however, is far more toxic than guilt because it makes us believe something is inherently wrong with us and that we are not worthy of forgiveness.

Most alcoholics and addicts believe they never measured up to the expectations that families, religions and society wrongly placed upon them. To numb the pain of feeling inadequate, they sought and found

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refuge in booze and drugs. People with codependency find refuge in overindulging in different types of self-sabotaging behaviors. They numb their personal pain by directing their attention to the person or people in their lives that, in their minds, are less functional them themselves. Codependents focus on the past that, in turn, destroys the present. They use the past to project the future while ignoring their own need for happiness.

Others may focus on work or strongly held, closed-minded beliefs.

These obsessions can result in the same character defects as addiction. Codependency and addiction go hand in hand. Renowned psychiatrist Doctor Pursch M.D. has many times reminded me, “If you scratch an alcoholic, underneath you will find a codependent”.

Unmanageability results from certain defects of character that addiction and obsessive thinking create and demand. Defects common in nearly all addicted people include dishonesty, selfcenteredness, selfishness, guilt, shame, denial, procrastination and a lack of awareness of reality. Many of these defects of character are our brain’s defense mechanisms that protect us from the truth about ourselves. Recovery starts when we stop separating our thoughts from reality.

Our twisted perception that we are unique must be smashed, along with the beliefs that our addiction to drugs, obsessions and the negative thoughts can be eliminated without help. The first word in the first step – “we” – was placed there intentionally. The initial draft of the 12 steps started with the word “admitted”. But the alcoholics working with Bill W. writing the steps wanted it clearly understood that no one “trudges the road to happy destiny” alone.

In the beginning, the seemingly impossible task of grasping reality appears overwhelming because we have allowed our perception to become so extremely distorted. Chemicals have hijacked our brain and our thoughts. These deceptive and self-destructive thoughts are so pervasive and ingrained that they slowly became our reality. This familiar, false reality then creates a sense of comfort, at least, until that moment of clarity, that profound instant that we know we are going to die unless we change.

Step 1 in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions states, “We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first step toward liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrocks upon which happy and purposeful lives can be built.”

The 12 steps act as the road map to living life in a world that appears to have no direction and make no sense. But we eventually discover that the world need not make sense once we recover from the hopeless mind-state that we experienced as the result of addiction and codependency. The goal of the 12 steps is to deliver a spiritual awakening, a new life that is a miracle based on truth. Step 1 is the beginning of the transformation from a broken belief system to a life filled with meaning and purpose.

We find purpose by redefining our values. But these value shifts take place gradually in recovery and they tend to differ between men and women. While both men and women, in recovery, find more purpose through spirituality, men who had placed their focus on power, money and pleasure, now find purpose in family and personal peace.

Women who tended to place their focus on family, career and fitting in now find purpose in personal growth and authentic self-esteem.

While these are general observations, the point is that people in recovery, just as people who experience near-death events, will look to find meaning and purpose through repairing their belief systems.

Recovery is not a small heading correction, there is a deadly storm ahead that requires completely reinventing how to experience life from the moment we wake up until we place our head on the pillow each evening. While this seems like an Continued on page 30

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15

ADDICTION – THE BRAIN DISEASE

By Terence T. Gorski

Addiction is a brain disease. The use of alcohol and other drugs causes three abnormal addictive brain responses. These three addictive brain responses make it easy for addicted people to keep using alcohol or other drugs while making it difficult for them to stop and stay stopped.

The Addictive Brain Response When addicted people use alcohol or other drugs they experience an Addictive Brain Response that: • Floods the brain with pleasure chemicals that make them feel an intense sense of pleasure called euphoria.

• Deprives the brain of warning chemicals, which takes away feelings of stress, anxiety, and fear.

• When they stop using alcohol and other drugs, the brain does not just go back to normal. There is a rebound in brain chemistry that causes the levels of pleasure chemicals in the brain to go up and down in a chaotic and unpredictable way.

Brain Chemistry Fluctuations First, the brain stops producing the pleasure chemicals that are flooding the brain. This causes the level of pleasure chemicals to drop rapidly. They often drop so fast that they go below the normal level before the brain turns production back on. When the pleasure chemicals drop too low the addict feels a sense of agitated depression.

When the brain registers that the level of pleasure chemical is too low, the brain turns the production of the pleasure chemicals back on. This causes the level of warning chemicals to rapidly increase.

The pleasure chemicals often rise above normal levels before the brain slows down production. This creates a feeling of euphoria.

When the pleasure chemicals drop, the brain produces high levels of warning chemicals that create fear and anxiety. When the brain registers the high level of warning chemicals, it slows down the production of the warning chemicals and increases the production of the pleasure chemicals. The changing brain chemistry pattern causes the person to fluctuate between periods of euphoria and then suddenly crash in periods of agitated depression which then cycles back to euphoria. With each cycle the brain begins stabilizing and returning to normal, but it can take several days of abstinence.

This period is when the brain chemistry is unstable and fluctuating.

The brain swings from not having enough pleasure chemicals to feel normal, to having a flood of pleasure chemicals that make them euphoric. At the same time, the brain swings from having so many warning chemicals that we feel paranoid and hyper vigilant; to having too few warning chemicals that make us feel an unrealistic sense of courage and confidence.

This process keeps reversing itself. The pleasure chemicals spike back up creating a sudden sense of well being and the warning chemicals drop back down taking away stress, anxiety, and fear.

Levels of brain chemicals keep shifting back and forth from too high to too low until the brain eventually gets back into a normal balance.

These fluctuations in brain chemistry make people feel agitated and depressed. It makes it hard to think clearly and causes difficulties solving usually simple problems. Emotionally, people shift from being over reactive to feeling numb. This causes trouble-controlling behavior and may cause people to do things that they normally would not do. They experience memory problems and have trouble sleeping restfully. As addicted people use more alcohol and other drugs over a longer period, their symptoms keep getting worse and lasting longer.

The feeling of euphoria caused by alcohol or other drug use makes it hard for addicted people to believe that alcohol or other drugs are damaging the brain. The symptoms of progressive brain dysfunction become clear when addicted people try to stop using

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alcohol or other drugs. They experience craving, irritability, difficulty thinking clearly, difficulty sleeping, and agitated depression when they stop using.

There is often a progression from use, to abuse, to addiction. Here is how it works: • Non-Problem Use: Addicted people often start using alcohol or other drugs in a casual and infrequent way that does not cause problems.

• Frequent & Heavy Use: The euphoric response feels so good that people at risk of getting addicted start using more often.

They start to need to use more alcohol or other drugs to get the euphoric feeling they want. This is called tolerance. They are using alcohol and other drugs for the euphoric effect and stop paying attention to how much they are using.

• Abuse (Use That Causes Problems): As the quantity and frequency of alcohol and drug use increases, people slowly start to have problems. They gradually move into a pattern of abuse. Remember, abuse is using alcohol and other drugs in a way that causes problems. Typically, these problems begin to affect family members, friends, and their work.

• Addiction: They continue to use frequently and heavily until the alcohol or other drugs cause permanent changes in brain chemistry. Once the addiction is activated, there is no turning back. The addiction takes on a life of its own and will continue to progress through three predictable stages: Early, Middle, and Chronic, as long as the person keeps using alcohol and other drugs.

The early stage of addiction is marked by a growing dependency on alcohol and other drugs. Early stage addicts are still able to feel good and function well. There are no serious problems so they see no need to cut back or stop. Their growing tolerance is forcing them to use more to get the same effect. Their high tolerance let’s them use more without becoming intoxicated or having other noticeable problems. People in the early stage of addiction are often viewed by others as heavy social drinkers or recreational drug users who can handle alcohol and other drugs better than most people.

The middle stages of addiction are marked by a progressive loss of control. Sometimes when they start using, everything goes well. At other times they use more than they intended to use to get Continued on page 32

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ARE YOU A PEOPLE-PLEASER?

By Darlene Lancer, LMFT

People-pleasers feel guilty saying no and often resentful when they say yes. We’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.

Our strategy might create other problems. We may put in extra time at work and try to please the boss but get passed over for a promotion or discover we’re doing work we’re not enjoying at all.

We may be very accommodating to family and friends and resent that we’re always the one called upon for help, extra work, or to take care of someone else’s problems.

Our love life might suffer, too. We give and give to our partner, but feel unappreciated or unimportant and that our needs and desires aren’t considered. We may begin to feel bored, joyless, or mildly depressed. We may miss earlier times when we were happier or more independent. The anger, resentment, hurt, and conflict we always tried to avoid continues to grow. Being alone might appear to be a welcome escape from these challenges, but then we’d end up sacrificing our connection to others, which is what we truly want.

Sometimes, it seems like we have to choose between sacrificing ourselves or sacrificing a relationship.

It’s Easier to Just Go Along We often feel trapped, but don’t know another way to be.

Accommodating others is so ingrained in us that stopping is not only difficult, it’s terrifying. If we look around, we might notice other people who are well-liked and don’t people-please. We may even know someone who is kind or admired and is able to say no to requests and invitations. What’s more, they don’t seem to agonize about it with guilt.

How they do that is baffling. We might even envy someone quite popular who doesn’t give a hoot about what others think. If we bother to reflect on all this, we may wonder how we got into such a mess and question our fundamental belief that pleasing is the road to acceptance.

Although there are other people who choose to be cooperative and kind, we don’t feel as if we have a choice. It can be as hard to say no to someone who needs us as it is to someone who abuses us. In either case, we fear it will negatively affect our relationship, and the guilt and fear of rejection or disappointing someone is overwhelming.

We may have loved ones or friends who would become indignant and even retaliate if we were to say no. Each time, it gets easier to agree when we rather not, or to go along and not object. We can turn into a human pretzel trying to win the love or approval of someone we care for – especially in a romantic relationship.

Starting in Childhood The problem is that for many of us, our pleasing is more than kindness. It’s our personality style. Some children decide that accommodating their parents’ wishes is the safest way to survive in a world of powerful adults and the best way to win their parents acceptance and love. When parental discipline is unfair or unpredictable, children learn to be careful and cooperative to avoid it. Many of us are more sensitive and have a low tolerance for conflict or separation from parents due to genetic makeup, early interactions with parents, or a combination of various factors.

People-Pleasers Pay a Price Unfortunately, becoming a people-pleaser sets us on a path of becoming alienated from our innate, true self. The underlying belief is that who we are isn’t lovable. Instead, we idealize being loved as a means to self-worth and happiness to the point that we crave it.

Our need to be accepted, understood, needed, and loved causes us to be compliant and self-effacing. We conclude, “If you love me, then I’m lovable.” “You” comes to mean just about everyone, including people incapable of love!

Preserving our relationships is our uppermost mandate. We strive to be lovable and charitable and reject character traits that we decide won’t serve that goal. We can end up squelching entire chunks of our personality that are incompatible, like showing anger,

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winning competitions, exercising power, getting attention, setting boundaries, or disagreeing with others. Even when not asked, we willingly give up separate interests that would mean time away from a loved one. The slightest look of disappointment (which we may inaccurately infer) is enough to deter us from doing something on our own.

Assertiveness feels harsh, setting limits feels rude, and requesting that our needs be met sounds demanding. Some of us don’t believe we have any rights at all. We feel guilty expressing any needs, even if were aware of them. We consider it selfish to act in our own selfinterest. We may even have been called selfish by a selfish parent or spouse. Our guilt and fear of abandonment may be so strong that we stay in an abusive relationship rather than leave.

It’s not surprising that we’re often attracted to someone who is the opposite of us – whose power, independence, and certitude we admire. Over time, we can start to think that unlike us, they’re selfish.

In fact, we probably wouldn’t be attracted to someone of the opposite sex who is as kind and pleasing as we are. We would consider them weak, because deep down we dislike ourselves for being so compliant. Moreover, getting our needs met doesn’t rank high on our list. We’d rather be submissive – but eventually pay a price for it.

We’re not aware that each time we hide who we are to please someone else; we give up a little self-respect. In the process, our true self (what we really feel, think, need, and want) retreats a bit more. We become accustomed to sacrificing our needs and wants for so long that we may not know what they are. Decades of conveniently accommodating “just this time” whittles away at our connection to our true self, and our lives and relationships begin to feel empty of joy and passion.

We can change!

It’s possible to change and find our voice, our power, and our passion. It requires getting reacquainted with that Self we’ve hidden, discovering our feelings and needs, and risking asserting and acting on them. It’s a process of raising our sense of self-worth and self-esteem and healing the shame we may not even know that we carry, but it’s a worthy adventure of self-reclamation. Learn more about the steps you can take in my books and ebooks on my website, www.whatiscodependency.com.

Darlene Lancer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and expert on relationships and codependency. She’s the author of two books: Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You and Codependency for Dummies. Her eBooks include: 10 Steps to Self-Esteem, How to Speak Your Mind - Become Assertive and Set Limits and Codependency Recovery Daily Reflections. ©Darlene Lancer 2014

All of our patients are unique and this can come through in the treatment options that are specifically suitable for them.

We offer the following types of therapy • Detox • Aftercare • Meditation • Art Therapy • Psychosocial • Family Counseling • Anger Management • Relapse Prevention • Education Seminars • Personal Spirituality • Big Book Step Study

• Nutritional Education • Individual Counseling • Holistic Life Coaching • Relaxation and Music • Recovery Maintenance • Emotional Behavioral Therapy • Stress Reduction Workshops • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy • Developing Support Systems • Substance Abuse Group Counseling • State of the Art Bio-Feedback Therapy

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PROGRAM SETTINGS AND TREATMENT OPTIONS FOR SUBSTANCE USING JUVENILE OFFENDERS

By Fred Dyer, Ph.D., CADC

Prior to the past two decades the only treatment options available for the publicly supported juvenile population were long-term residential programs (e.g., therapeutic communities) and outpatient counseling. Those individuals and families with financial means typically sought help through private hospitalization or individual practitioners. Treatment services within juvenile institutions were all but nonexistent. In the late 1960s, when the young adult heroin and methamphetamine epidemic began and lower-level drug use (e.g., marijuana) became widespread among youth, many adolescents were referred to community-based treatment under coercion of the courts as a result of having been charged with status offenses (e.g., runaway, truancy, incorrigibility). This practice fell out of favor, leading to the deinstitutionalization-of-status-offenders movement of the mid-1970s; what had been in all practicality an intervention/court diversion option for youth with SUDs was essentially lost. Placing status offenders in confinement was not a desirable practice; its loss as an option resulted afterward in many young persons with emerging SUDs developing higher severity of SUDs and criminal behavior before receiving treatment. Not until the 1990s did juvenile justice systems develop widespread diversion programs such as juvenile drug court.

Traditional Approaches Both scientific and empirical evidence have consistently shown that merely adopting or slightly modifying adult treatment philosophies and approaches for juveniles usually produces poor results. The medical disease approach, which has shown some effectiveness with segments of the general adolescent population, has not had measurable success. This may be attributable in part to the cultural, environmental, and circumstantial factors that are often present in working with this population. Similarly, 12-step facilitation and otherwise evidence-based supported practice in “free-world� settings has not demonstrated effectiveness in juvenile justice populations; yet, it has been used as a mandated program in some states for juveniles who screen positive for SUDs. A more practical solution might be for juvenile programs to avoid blanket requirements of participation in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA) and other self-help meetings and instead to encourage those with the highest levels of severity and risk to be exposed to the 12-steps as a framework to help them manage their sobriety after discharge.

Another common approach that has not been at all successful with juveniles is drug and alcohol education. This dissonance is an example of how leaving juveniles (i.e., the so-called consumers) out of the program design process often results in a waste of precious resources. Policy makers and practitioners are well advised to include individuals in recovery in the shaping of effective programs for juveniles. This might help bring balance to the reliance on the use of some evidence-based practices that may have demonstrated effectiveness in research studies but not necessarily with juveniles in naturalistic settings.

Institution-based Programs Substance abuse treatment for juveniles is generally delivered in three settings: institutional; community-based residential; and nonresidential. Institutional settings mostly provide physically secure confinement for the short term (e.g., pretrial detention centers) or long term (e.g., secure treatment centers) for juveniles who are dangerous to others or themselves. Since the mid-1900s many youth have been transferred to adult court and sentenced to prison for serious juvenile offenses, felonies against persons, and non-person offenses. This segment of juveniles has the highest level of need for treatment; yet, only 37 percent of juvenile correctional facilities provide SUD treatment. A national review of institution-based therapeutic programs found that there were 252 such programs in state prisons and jails but only six were reported in facilities for

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juveniles. Most other juvenile institutions offered only basic drug and alcohol education programs, although 42 percent offer voluntary self-help programs (e.g., AA, NA), and 5 percent offer detoxification.

Cognitive behavioral therapies, although not inventoried nationally, are increasingly used in juvenile correctional facilities in most states.

These include manual-driven variations of cognitive behavioral therapy, such as aggression replacement training and moral reconation therapy. Such programs have not only been well received by both staff and juveniles but have demonstrated effectiveness equal to that of therapeutic communities.

Community-based programs For moderate to serious juvenile offenders with low risk of violence, substance abuse treatment is increasingly being provided in community-based residential settings that range from state operated secure facilities, to staff secure or open residential treatment centers. These settings range in capacity from six to over 100 residents. They are primarily treatment focused as compared to institutional programs that focus on security and behavioral compliance. In addition to therapeutic communities, therapeutic boarding schools are considered evidence-based residential options. Although a shift has occurred toward shorter durations of residential treatment (driven primarily by cost containment) this may be counterproductive, because time and treatment remains the most significant predictors of positive outcomes. Also, the National Institute on Drug Abuse has identified 90 days as a benchmark for minimal effective duration; empirical wisdom consistently supports stays of nine to 18 months.

There is a heightened recognition of the need for, and benefits of, working with families, community-based programs for juveniles including evidence-based treatments such as functional family therapy, multidimensional family therapy, and multisystemic therapy, brief motivational interventions, cognitive behavioral therapy, and contingency management for youth substance use disorders.

It has become increasingly clear that simply locking a kid up is not the answer and that locking him or her up with no services to address his or her issues of substance use and their corresponding problems is not the answer; nor is locking up non-violent/offending youth the answer. The answer is, whenever possible, communitybased treatment.

References provided upon request.

Fred Dyer, PhD., CADC, is an internationally recognized speaker, trainer, author and consultant who services juvenile justice/detention/ residential programs, child welfare/foster care agencies, child and adolescent residential facilities, mental health facilities and adolescent substance abuse prevention programs in the areas of implementation and utilization of evidence-based, gender-responsive, culturally competent, and developmentally and age appropriate practices. He can be reached at www.dyerconsulting.org.

February 8-11, 2015

Naples Grande Beach, Naples, FL

The Conference for Addiction Executives and Leaders The aXis conference focused on the most current policy issues affecting our field. The opportunity to engage with the thought leaders in our business was invaluable.

-President/CEO, Treatment Facility

aXis was a great experience. It offered the ability to network with industry leaders in a casual environment. I loved the working sessions. Hearing what my peers are doing, sharing the challenges and opportunities was stimulating. I will be back!

-Director of Strategic Development

aXis offers executive-level leadership and strategic guidance by incorporating skill-building and direct intervention into challenges organizations are currently facing. This is accomplished with peer interaction, mentoring, and insights from industry experts. For its first year in 2014, more than 400 addiction executives and leaders met at aXis for this intensive 3-day “executive boot camp.” aXis features a series of general sessions that provide an overview of the challenges, strategies, and goals of the conference followed by in-depth working academies focusing on three major tracks: Executive and Administrative, Clinical Management, and Marketing to Intake which encompasses Information Technology, Marketing/Sales and Community/Public Relations, Intake, Eligibility Works, and Call Centers.

You and your peers will leave this intensive learning experience with new perspectives on the changing healthcare environment, leadership, business operations, and your role in shaping corporate and industry direction in the addiction field.

For more information, visit www.axissummit.com. Registration begins Nov. 1, 2014. aXis examines how to design and implement forward-looking strategies that:  Develop and sustain competitive advantage by 

 

 

applying state-of-the-art management practices to the delivery of care Adopt and implement innovations to achieve organizational excellence and improve clinical/financial outcomes and operational efficiencies Build and sustain competitive advantage through outcomes-informed treatment and recovery services Proactively address the challenges, risks and opportunities presented by a changing competitive environment Contribute to your company’s growth at a more strategic level Capitalize on market opportunities Event Partner

To Advertise, Call 561-910-1943

aXis brings together 40 addiction leaders to serve as small group Facilitators in intimate roundtable discussions to maximize your team’s learning experience— all in a beautiful environment.

aXis is a C4 Recovery Solutions, Inc., event. The mission of C4, a non-profit organization, is to improve the accessibility of addiction treatment, and to promote long-term recovery solutions. C4 uses 4 Cs - Collaboration, Convening, Conferencing, and Consultation to achieve its goals. Learn more at www.C4RecoverySolutions.org.

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WAYSIDE HOUSE EXPANDS IOP Wayside House, an addiction recovery program for women, by women in Delray Beach, has expanded Intensive Outpatient Services to include daytime hours.

The expanded hours for Intensive Outpatient were added to make it more convenient for women who are juggling jobs or family matters, but are serious about recovery.

Wayside House has provided services for 40 years with both residential and outpatient services. If an assessment qualifies a woman for the IOP program, she may now opt for either morning or evening sessions to attend the eightweek program.

Hours now are Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday 6-9 p.m. or Monday, Thursday, and Friday 9 a.m. - noon.

Come to orientation on any Tuesday at 9:45 a.m. or call for an appointment for assessment at 561.278.0055. Most insurance is accepted for the IOP program and staff can help determine if your insurance does cover it at the time of your assessment. For more information, email info@ waysidehouse.net

“THE PRESCRIPTION DRUG EPIDEMIC: THE TREATMENT PROFESSIONAL’S ROLE”

By Mel Pohl, MD, FASAM

Continued from page 12

Alternative Approaches Are there drug-free alternatives to pain recovery? Yes, and discussing these with your patients will be very helpful as they consider discontinuing opioid medications.

Treatment professionals’ responsibilities include advising patients on how to assess whether these medications are helping or making the patient’s life worse. This is the appropriate time to also present alternatives to opioids. If a patient’s function is diminished, despite some minimal pain relief, the better course of treatment may be to wean down and eventually discontinue the medications under medical supervision and find other ways to manage the pain. There are a multitude of holistic mind-body-spirit techniques that can be extremely effective.

A counselor can help support a doctor’s interest in the safest care for a patient by promoting these drug-free treatment techniques that may include cognitive behavioral therapies, motivational interviewing, mindfulness practice, yoga, gentle stretching and exercise programs.

If medication-free treatment is determined to be the best course of care for a patient, he or she will need your support and encouragement through the drug withdrawal process; while the prescriber is likely to appreciate the support you will be providing to optimize the patient’s outcome.

Mel Pohl, MD, FASAM is board certified in Family Practice, certified

by American Board of Addiction Medicine and Fellow of the American Society of Addiction Medicine. He is the Medical Director

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of Las Vegas Recovery Center. He is on the planning committee for ASAM’s “Common Threads, Pain and Addiction” Course and cochair of ASAM’s Pain and Addiction Workgroup. He is a nationally known speaker and co-authored Pain Recovery: How to Find Balance and Reduce Suffering from Chronic Pain; Pain Recovery for Families: How to Find Balance When Someone Else’s Chronic Pain Becomes Your Problem Too and A Day without Pain. His new book from Da Capo Books, The Pain Antidote -Stop Suffering from Chronic Pain, Avoid Addiction to Painkillers, and Reclaim Your Life will be out next spring.

To Untitled-4 Advertise, Call 561-910-1943 1

25

10/7/14 3:28 PM

BRING A FRIEND AND JOIN US Webster defines “Stigma” as: a set of negative and often unfair beliefs that a society or group of people have about something.

Persons in recovery from addiction experience the unjust impact of stigma. South Florida is ripe with debate over “…those people living in our single family neighborhoods”. It’s easy to climb up on a high horse and decry how unfair and counterproductive society is when making presumptions about any group of neighbors. Be honest; doesn’t it even feel good to express righteous indignation from time to time? A cathartic exercise in futility; but oddly refreshing. However; when we finish our tirades and get focused on the fact that the problem of stigma remains, it becomes clear that we must take thoughtful action to change those perceptions one single mind at a time. How can we, each The REEL Recovery Film Festival is an ideal opportunity to do just that. Invite a neighbor, friend or acquaintance to join you for entertaining education that will provide you both with greater clarity. This is the second consecutive year the event will be hosted at the Movies of Delray located at 7421 West Atlantic Avenue, Delray Beach. Florida. The co-hosts have added an additional component this year. FARR organized six life skill presentations focused on topics of particular interest to persons in recovery. All are welcome to attend. Each forty-five (45) minute workshop is sponsored by a FARR Partner in Excellence and presented by the affiliated organization. To learn all the details, please visit www.farronline.org and select the REEL Recovery Film Festival under events in the lower left section of our landing page. The film and workshop schedule is listed below.

one of us, contribute to that change in order that our broader community might be restored to a more sane and effective belief system? The majority of Floridians readily accept that addiction is a powerfully destructive force that respects no boundaries. So how can you, an individual, take specific actions to help erase common misconceptions held by those who want those people out of their neighborhoods? Acknowledge their fears and educate them. Show them evidence that addiction is their problem too; affecting them in multiple ways. Demonstrate that recovery from addiction is truly possible and is happening right here in your community. Illustrate how recovery positively impacts that community. Stigma thrives on ignorance and fear. Shine the bright light of truth and it will gradually disappear back into the darkness from which it came. but it was more like a bunch of flashing yellow lights -- like, I was headed in this dangerous direction with my life and I needed to watch out. The film helped me realize that. I checked into rehab soon after.

PH: So you think these films might get people to reevaluate their habits?

LB: Absolutely. That’s why we’ve got slides, treatment info and brochures. The festival could turn out to be somebody’s unplanned self-intervention! I have no doubt that some drug addict will wander into one of these screenings and hang out with 100 sober people who are doing well and think, “Wow, these people are glowing.”

Because back when I was using, I didn’t even know those people existed; I didn’t know anybody who was sober. But if I had wandered into this festival, I might have thought, “Hey, look at all these people!

They look like me. They’re creative and smart... and they’re sober.

In an interview conducted before the 2012 New York Reel Recovery Who knew it was possible?”

Film Festival hosted by Phoenix House, festival creator Leonard Bushnell addressed a few questions that seem particularly relevant FARR is honored to co-host this event with Floridians for Recovery, a 501(c) (3) non-profit dedicated to supporting to the 2014 REEL Recovery Film Festival co-hosted by Floridians the recovery community. The REEL Recovery Film Festival for Recovery (FFR) and the Florida Association of Recovery Residences (FARR) in Delray Beach, FL at the Movies of Delray on is an excellent opportunity for all to become better educated regarding both addiction and recovery. Presented by Writers in West Atlantic Avenue, November 7th & 8th.

Treatment (W.I.T), the REEL Recovery Film Festival is a multiPH: Do you think this festival has a capacity to change hearts and day celebration of film, the arts, writing and creativity. Showcasing minds, to remove the stigma surrounding addiction and treatment? filmmakers who make honest films about addiction, alcoholism, LB: Yes, I would hope so. That’s always the sub-goal here: reducing behavioral disorders, treatment and recovery, organizers have slated stigma. People in recovery bring other folks to these films, people an eclectic lineup of contemporary and classic films, documentaries who are just interested in film take a look at the schedule and it’s and shorts from American and international, first-time filmmakers also attractive to folks who are still in the active stages of addiction. and industry veterans. Writers in Treatment (W.I.T) is a 501(c) (3) Look at me: before I got sober in the mid-1990s I went to see that nonprofit organization grounded in the Arts and Recovery fields.

Meg Ryan film, When a Man Loves a Woman, with my girlfriend.

W.I.T.’s primary purpose is to save lives through promoting and Afterward she turned to me and said, “Well that’s you; you’re an providing treatment as the best first step solution for addiction, alcoholic.” It wasn’t like a red light went on in my head or anything, alcoholism and other self-destructive behaviors.

Time Noon 1:00PM 1:30PM 2:50PM 3:10PM 3:45PM 5:10PM 6:20PM 8:05PM 9:35PM Time 10:00AM 11:45AM 1:00PM 1:20PM 2:00PM 3:15PM 4:00PM 4:25PM 6:05PM 7:55PM 9:40PM

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FRIDAY NOVEMBER 7, 2014 Movies and Workshops Length Description 45 Presented by: Autumn Raab, Certified Holistic Health Coach Workshop: Tools for Living Clean Caleb's Gift 14 Film: About a vet and his estranged son 45 Presented by Gaynelle Gosselin, Certified Alexander Technique Trainer Workshop: Taming the Tension Tiger Maybe Me 13 Film: PTSD addicts die young How to Touch a Hot Stove 23 Film: addresses stigma 45 Presented by Louisa McQueeney - a navigator with Florida CHAIN Workshop: Navigating Healthcare Enrollment Easy Silence 28 Film: set in the south; a baby daddy KIA and family impact Grace 92 Film: Alcoholism with South Beach scenes No Kidding, Me Too 75 Film: with Joe Pantoliano addressing mental health stigma American Addict 1 89 SATURDAY NOVEMBER 8, 2014 Movies and Workshops Length Description Do You Think I'm Pretty?

102 Film: Award winning 45 Presented by: Brittney Ringersen of YPR (Young People in Recovery) Workshop: YPR-The Four Pillars Sweetness 15 Film: two lovers torn by alcoholism Blackout 15 Film: Musician's story 45 Presented by: Eric Dresdale, CEO of The Next Step Card Workshop: Money Management in Recovery The Holding Cell 34 Film: Set in Sarasota You are Not Alone 12 Film: "Kids in the Spotlight" 45 Michael Clinch of Life of Purpose Center (FAU) Workshop: Recovery U: Collegiate Recovery The Wisdom to Know the Difference 114 Film: Multiple awards at San Antonio Film Festival A Royal Hangover 101 Film: Featuring Russell Brand Thanks for Sharing 113 Film: Featuring Gwyneth Paltrow and Tim Robbins

Kelly V. Landers P.A. CriminAl Law

(561) 655-4495 (855) FIND-KELLY

DUI DRUG OFFENSES

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WWW.KELLYLANDERS.COM

To Advertise, Call 561-910-1943

27

THE LOSS OF A CHILD

By Asa Don Brown, Ph.D., C.C.C., D.N.C.C.M., F.A.A.E.T.S. Continued from page 8

a few words were unfavorable. Either way, my wife and I were encouraged by the willingness of others to connect with us during our time of heartache.

GRIEF “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.”

~ C. S. Lewis

Loss has no friend, no allies, and no benefit to the human spirit.

The loss of a child exploits the emotions of each individual it encounters. “Everyone suffers loss in different ways depending upon their beliefs, culture, family history, and relationship with the person who died. It doesn’t mean that others care less if they mourn differently than you do. Grief can also vary greatly depending upon how the child died. While some losses are less visible, such as miscarriage, other experiences of loss are more traumatic, such as an accident, illness, murder or death during war.”

The loss of a child is a heart wrenching experience. If you have encountered such a loss, you will relate to the fact that no words bring complete comfort to the pain that lies dormant within the interior of your person. The loss of a child is liken to a scar, while the wound has already occurred, the reminder remains with you throughout the entirety of your life.

Unfortunately, in some families the loss of a child will not be the only loss experienced. For some parents, the indescribable pain is too much for the couple to endure, thus leading to ultimate demise of the relationship.

As an individual, you are entitled to your time of grief, process of grief, and right to grieve. You should not be forced to call an end to your grief. The grieving process should have no timelines or guidelines. It is seldom that two individuals grieve identically.

The process of grief and loss is as unique as your personal DNA (deoxyribonucleic acid); no two individuals will have the same experiences or relationship to grief. Most importantly, it is of critical importance that you be allowed to grieve and process the loss of your child.

NORMAL GRIEF REACTIONS “Unfortunately, there is no expiration date on grief.” ~ Elizabeth Czukas The process of grieving any loss is dependent upon your relationship to the person. However, the age of the individual whose life was cut short will often affect your perspective on the loss. The reactions to grief will vary as does the process of grief and loss. The following grief and loss reactions are some of the most common, but not an absolute measure or determination of one’s reactions to grief and loss.

1. Do not be dismayed if you cannot concentrate.

2. You may feel sudden and uncontrollable emotions.

3. It is very common for those who have experienced loss to feel as they are “going crazy”.

4. Do not feel bad if you are experiencing elevated feelings of anxiousness or stress.

5. As a parent, you may feel extreme remorse and guilt over outliving your child.

6. You may, and most certainly will, experience times of lethargy (fatigue, a lack of energy and personal motivation).

7. For many parents, you may feel misunderstood, or that your grieving process lacks empathy.

8. Parents often have a strong desire to escape.

9. You may feel as though you are an alien, living isolated from

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your known world.

10. For many parents, the rejection or questioning of one’s faith and spiritual belief system may occur.

11. Parents often feel bitterness towards the medical and scientific communities.

12. It is very common to have dreams that your loss was simply a dream.

While the above is a list of some of the normal experiences around grief and loss, it is not an absolute or an exhaustive list of the related experiences and expressions of normal grief and loss.

CHERISHING AND KEEPING THE POSITIVE MEMORIES ALIVE “When those you love die, the best you can do is honor their spirit for as long as you live. You make a commitment that you’re going to take whatever lesson that person or animal was trying to teach you, and you make it true in your own life... it’s a positive way to keep their spirit alive in the world, by keeping it alive in yourself.” ~ Patrick Swayze, The Time of My Life Whatever stage you have lost a child; whether you have lost a child during a pregnancy, youth or into adulthood; the loss remains the same. The loss is an intolerable experience that words, nor deeds, are capable of eliminating.

As parents and family members, we must keep the positive memories alive. Do not avoid talking about your loved one; rather take joy in the positive memories associated with the person who you have lost.

ANCHORING ONE ANOTHER “All you need is one safe anchor to keep you grounded when the rest of your life spins out of control.” ~ Katie Kacvinsky Whether you are the parent, a sibling, an extended family member, or friend; it is important to offer and be supported through your time of grief. Grief can decay the soul; therefore it is essential that you do not avoid reaching out for support or offering your support for another.

“As the shock of the loss fades, there is a tendency on the part of the griever to feel more pain and sadness. Well-meaning friends may avoid discussing the subject due to their own discomfort with grief or their fear of making the person feel bad. As a result, people who are grieving often feel more isolated or lonely in their grief.

People who are grieving are likely to fluctuate between wanting some time to themselves and wanting closeness with others. They may want someone to talk to about their feelings. Below are some ways that you can help a friend experiencing loss.

• • • • • • • • • • • • •

Be a good (and active) listener Ask about their feelings Just sit with them Share your feelings Ask about their loss Remember the loss Make telephone calls Acknowledge the pain Let them feel sad Be available when you can Do not minimize grief Talk about your own losses” Send friendly and supportive texts and emails Continued on page 30

WHAT IS A LEVEL 4 TRANSITIONAL CARE HOUSE? Sunset House is currently classified as a level 4 transitional care house, according to the Department of Children and Families criteria regarding such programs. This includes providing 24 hour paid staff coverage seven days per week, requires counseling staff to never have a caseload of more than 15 participating clients. Sunset House maintains this licensure by conducting three group therapy sessions per week as well as one individual counseling session per week with qualified staff. Sunset House provides all of the above mentioned services for $300.00 per week. This also includes a bi-monthly psychiatric session with Dr. William Romanos for medication management. Sunset House continues to be a leader in affordable long term care and has been providing exemplary treatment in the Palm Beach County community for over 18 years.

As a Level 4 facility Sunset House is appropriate for persons who have completed other levels of residential treatment, particularly levels 2 and 3. This includes clients who have demonstrated problems in applying recovery skills, a lack of personal responsibility, or a lack of connection to the world of work, education, or family life. Although clinical services are provided, the main emphasis is on services that are low-intensity and typically emphasize a supportive environment. This would include services that would focus on recovery skills, preventing relapse, improving emotional functioning, promoting personal responsibility and reintegrating the individual into the world of work, education, and family life.

In conjunction with DCF, Sunset House also maintains The American Society of Addiction Medicine or ASAM criteria. This professional society aims to promote the appropriate role of a facility or physician in the care of patients with a substance use disorder. ASAM was created in 1988 and is an approved and accepted model by The American Medical Association and looks to monitor placement criteria so that patients are not placed in a level of care that does not meet the needs of their specific diagnosis, in essence protecting the patients with the sole ethical aim to do no harm.

To Advertise, Call 561-910-1943

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THE LOSS OF A CHILD

By Asa Don Brown, Ph.D., C.C.C., D.N.C.C.M., F.A.A.E.T.S. Continued from page 28

• Do not avoid discussing the positive stories • Allow yourself to be an anchor and anchored by others • Most importantly, be available and approachable As an individual, I can attest to the strength of an anchor. An anchor is not only a support, but it is an individual who provides stability and confidence in an otherwise volatile and unpredictable environment. My anchor was and is, my wife. I too have always tried proving a positive and supportive anchor for my wife, my love and my best-friend. An anchor is not perfect, rather is striving for a state of being free, or as free as possible from the problems of this life. An anchor is not only supportive during the calm times, but rather the most difficult ones. Anchors learn to support, to uplift and to help guide down the paths of health, wellness, and happiness. In my personal and professional opinion, happiness is neither giddiness nor silliness; rather true happiness is a peace that passes all understanding. Therefore, an anchor is someone who helps to see beyond the problems and transitions of this life. My anchor has helped me to help her. An anchor should be someone who is personally open and willing to communicate.

During times of loss, communication is the key to one’s recovery.

Without healthy and clear communication, the tides will rise and the storms will overcome. Let me be clear, anchors are not perfect, but rather, are helpful for guiding, supporting, and offering positive encouragement. Most importantly, anchors must remember, not only are they support for others, but they too must create supports and fortifications within their own lives. My wife and I continue to learn that we are not only our best advocates and allies, but it is through our personal advocacy, we have learned to be advocates and supports for others.

THE HEALING PROCESS “Respect your needs and limitations as you work through your grief and begin to heal.” ~ American Pregnancy Association • • • • • • • • • • • •

Allow yourself to heal.

Do not punish yourself for surviving.

Live your life as you may have expected your loved one to live his or her own life.

“Reach out to those closest to you. Ask for understanding, comfort and support.

Seek counseling to help both yourself and your partner. You don’t have to face this alone.

Allow yourself plenty of time to grieve and the opportunity to remember.”

Avoid making any hasty or sudden changes, such as selling your home or quitting your job.

Consider taking time for yourself and making time for your partner.

“Being respectful and sensitive of each other’s needs and feelings.

Sharing your thoughts and emotions by keeping communication lines open.

Accepting differences and acknowledging each other’s coping styles.”

Do not overwhelm yourself by taking on new tasks, assignments, or projects.

Always remember, that you are not alone. There are others who are trained to offer support and guidance through the process of your grief. “Healing doesn’t mean forgetting or making the memories insignificant. Healing means refocusing.” Healing is an opportunity to cherish in the life and relationship. Moreover, healing is a combination of the good with the bad. Allow yourself to heal and to be well.

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References provided upon request Dr. Asa Don Brown is an author, professor, clinician, advocate, and an inspirational and motivational speaker. He has achieved the merits of a PhD in Psychology with a Specialization in Clinical Psychology; a Master’s of Science; and a Bachelor’s of Science.

He currently serves as an Advisory Board Member at the Brain Technology & Neuroscience Research Centre, BTNRC; has served as the Bylaws and Ethics Director for the Washington Counseling Association; as well as having served as the Director of Promotions for The Society for the Arts in Dementia Care. Of the many accolades and recognitions, Dr. Brown has been named a Global Presence Ambassador, an arm of Parenting 2.0; a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress; a Canadian Certified Counsellor of the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association; and a Diplomate of the National Center for Crisis Management.He has a bimonthly column with the Canadian Counselling & Psychotherapy Association and has published two books in recent years: Waiting to Live, 2010 and The Effects of Childhood Trauma on Adult Perception and Worldview, 2008. Visit his website at www.asadonbrown.com

By Courtesy of the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association and Dr. Asa Don Brown. For more information about the Canadian Counseling and Psychotherapy Association visit: www.ccpa-accp.ca

TAKING THE FIRST STEP: THE TRANSFORMATION BEGINS HERE AND NOW

By Larry Smith, CAS III

Continued from page 14

overwhelmingly large task in truth, the seemingly small choices we make in our daily routines determines rather we plow through the storm or we avoid the storm entirely.

We must allow recovery to flow through us and share what we learn when we learn it. As we find fragments of peace on the path to transformation, we must capture that peace and make a home for it in our hearts and souls.

This peace comes through internalizing God’s omnipotence and omnipresence, and by completely surrendering our will to God’s will. We should constantly remind ourselves that God’s will is for us to be happy, joyous and free in this world so we can claim eternal happiness in the next. We have free will during our brief time on earth, but in eternity, God’s will is all there is.

Larry Smith is a certified addiction counselor, lecturer, public speaker and author. He has published a goal setting and journaling book for people in recovery, Captain Larry Smith’s Daily Life Plan Journal. When Larry is not counseling, he flies 747s for a major international commercial airline. He is a retired Air Force Fighter Pilot and has accumulated over 20,000 hours of flying time. Larry is an Airline Pilots Association Rep and volunteers with his airline’s Employee Assistance Program. In that capacity, he works with the FAA and medical doctors to assist pilots with addiction problems through a rigorous re-certification process. Larry is also certified in EEG Neurofeedback. His presentations ‘Reclaiming Your Hijacked Brain’ and ‘Learning to Be Happy’ have been presented at state and national seminars.

ToUntitled-2 Advertise, Call 561-910-1943 1

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7/10/14 12:52 PM

INTERVIEW WITH DAVE PELZER Continued from page 6

Dave: Yes, there were 2.One I liked and the other I didn’t. I have learned that your experiences- good, bad or ugly are what make you. No person is without conflict, but how you deal with those conflicts is what determines who you are.

bad for my mother either .She also died. I have learned to forgive. I have even gone to Firefighting school to become a fireman. I now wear the same badge as my father from the same fire department # 1522-A.

Patricia: What is your advice for children living with someone abusing drugs or alcohol, or living with someone who is abusing them?

Dave: I want to be known as the guy with the resiliency, not the guy that was abused. It was Nietzsche who said” that which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. I believe this article is a good thing because if it helps to help the next child who is experiencing living with an alcoholic/drug addict parent then I have accomplished my goal. I will continue telling my story over and over because sadly enough there are thousands of “it’s” in this country.

Dave: You have to give yourself permission to be strong and get the help you need. That is no way for anyone to live, and hopefully with help, the family will get well too.

Patricia: Is there anything you would like to share with my readers?

Dave: Yes, before I do anything, I shower, shave, do my hair and get on my knees sand pray the Lord’s Prayer toward the light- I say “god give me strength, use me as a vessel and please don’t let me screw up and if I do don’t let anyone notice.

Patricia: Sounds a little like the serenity prayer –lol Dave: a little modified –lol Patricia: Do you ever see your father or talk to him?

Dave: I did. I learned to forgive him years ago. My dad was homeless.

The one thing I really wanted to do for him was buy him a house.

Unfortunately, my father died in 1980 of cancer so I never was able to do that. He died a broken man. He was very disheveled. I didn’t wish

Patricia: What message are you trying to spread?

Patricia: I understand you have another book out. Please tell us what that book is about.

Dave: The name of it is “Too Close to Me”. It provides an honest and courageous look at the difficulties inherent in marriage, parenthood, work, and life from the perspective of someone who survived horrific physical and emotional terrors as a child—and who seeks to meet the responsibilities and complications of adult life with love, strength, and an open heart.

Patricia: Sounds like another bestseller! Thank you so much for allowing me to interview you. It was really a pleasure speaking with you.

Dave: Likewise.

ADDICTION – THE BRAIN DISEASE

By Terence T. Gorski

Continued from page 16

the euphoric effect they want. Sometimes they use in moderation without getting into trouble or doing anything that they are ashamed or embarrassed about later. At other times, however, they lose control, use more than they intended to use, and keep using for longer periods than they planned. Sometimes they miss important events because they lose track of time. Their judgment is impaired so they do things while drinking and drugging that they never intended to do. As a result, they start having problems and feeling guilty and ashamed. This starts to happen more often, but there are still times when they can use without losing control and getting into trouble.

As the alcohol and drug-related problems become more severe, addicted people start to get scared, but are still having some good times. They become conflicted. A part of them thinks they might have a problem and should cut back or stop. Another part of them remembers how good it feels to use and how many times they have used in the past without getting into trouble.

They start having difficulty thinking clearly and avoid talking about their alcohol and other drug use or related problems whenever possible. If someone asks them about it or points out the problems they are having they get uncomfortable, change the subject, or tell outright lies. This is the beginning of serious problems with denial.

At this stage addicted people begin avoiding sober and responsible people who tell them the truth. They start surrounding themselves with people who use alcohol and other drugs frequently and heavily.

When they do have problems they deny them or rationalize them away. They start making solemn promises to themselves and others to stop, cut back, and to clean up their act. “I’ll never get that drunk or stoned again,” they promise themselves. They never define exactly how much is “that much.” Therefore, when it happens again, they can rationalize the problem away. Then they forget about it, and forget that they forgot. This creates the illusion that the problem never happened. In reality, however, the problems are happening and they are getting worse.

Finally, addiction moves into the Late (Chronic) Stages that are

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marked by progressive physical, psychological, and social deterioration. Late stage addicts start having serious alcohol and other drug-related health problems that keep getting worse.

Psychologically, they are constantly feeling cravings, drug-induced euphoria, intoxication, anger, fear, guilt, shame, and pain. They don’t want to think or talk about their addiction so they push other people away and start isolating themselves. If their friends or family gets concerned, they brush them off, tell them some convenient lies, and give them the clear message to mind their own business.

They try to stop but can’t stay stopped. This destroys their self-confidence and self-worth. They start feeling ashamed of themselves and go underground. They try to hide what is happening, but by this time they are having serious physical, psychological, and social problems that are starting to catch up with them. They are having serious problems on the job or at school. The cost of maintaining their addiction is causing serious financial problems. They may also be having legal problems such as being caught drinking or drugging on the job, getting arrested for driving under the influence, or possessing and using illegal drugs.

Prescription drug addicts use more than prescribed and start using more than one doctor to get the same prescription or they order additional medication on the Internet.

The problems keep getting worse until one of four things happens: (1) They die as a result of alcohol or other drug-related illness, violence, or accidents; (2) They commit suicide to end the pain, (3) They get put in jail or committed to a mental institution; or (4) They get into recovery from addiction.

References provided upon request.

Terence T. Gorski is the Founder and President, The CENAPS Corporation. He is an internationally recognized expert on substance abuse, mental health, violence, & crime. He is best known for his contributions to relapse prevention, managing chemically dependent offenders and developing community-based teams for managing the problems of alcohol, drugs, violence, and crime. He is a prolific author and has published numerous books and articles.

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FROM DEFIANCE TO RELIANCE: MY JOURNEY INTO RECOVERY!

By Tom Bello

What Was It Like?

My earliest recollection of my childhood memories were those of fear, loneliness, emptiness and an ever present sense of impending doom. I lived with the fear that something bad was going to happen to me or someone that I loved. As an eight year old boy I remember being filled with fear and loneliness. Sadly, I spent most of my childhood (and adult life) living this way.

At the age of twelve I discovered alcohol. That was the beginning of the end of any type of normal life for me for the next four decades.

To this day, I can recall exactly how awful that first hangover felt. I was shaking, I was nauseous, I had a headache and guess what...

I could not wait to do it again!

The more I drank the thirstier I became; I later learned later this was known as the phenomenon of “craving.”

As my drinking continued I began to experience “blackouts”. I would get so drunk that I could not remember some/most of the events from the night before. This was a sure sign that my disease was indeed progressing. My troubles began escalating resulting in trips to the ER and being hospitalized.

And then my life dramatically changed directions. At 21, I stopped drinking, had a religious conversion, found a beautiful girl to marry and studied for the ministry. I obtained a Degree in Ministerial Studies, became an ordained Minister and pastored several churches. Then we were blessed with three beautiful children; Amber, Tony and Brittany! I just knew that my troubles were over.

What Happened!

Fast forward to age 33; I stayed dry (abstained from drinking alcohol) for a period of about 12 years. Although I did not have a drink in years; surely being older and wiser I thought I could handle having an occasional drink.

I was no longer pastoring a church because I was restless, irritable and discontented. (This is a description of the disease of alcoholism right out of the Big Book of Alcoholic Anonymous).

After 12 years of being “dry” (not sober, just dry) there came a day that I had a drink. I had another drink the next day and my drinking continued virtually every day for the next 12 years!

September 14, 2003- The Day That Changed My Life Forever I stopped at a neighborhood pub, drank heavily and then headed to my home less than a mile from the bar. A few minutes later I was in a four car accident, which I caused.

Filled with fear and realizing what I had done I regrettably fled the scene of the accident. I was arrested a short time later and my blood alcohol level registered at a whopping .299; nearly four times the legal limit of 08.

When my son Tony and daughter Brittany heard that I had been in an accident they rushed to the hospital to see me. What they saw was their father handcuffed to a hospital bed with a police officer seated at the foot of the bed. I would give anything if I could erase that picture frozen in their memories but that is something that I can never do.

I was booked in the county jail. My wife had forewarned me that at some point my drinking would put her and our children in jeopardy and now that prophesy had come to fruition. She did not utter one word on the drive home, she did not need to. A short time later she filed for a divorce.

What Is It Like Now? Filled with shame and humiliation the very next day I went to my first 12 Step Meeting. I got a sponsor and began to work the 12 steps. For the first time I learned that alcoholism/addiction is a

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treatable disease. It is not a will power or sin issue. It is not a character issue but it is a disease. I learned there was a solution, a way out of my miserable life.

Here’s how my first 90 days in recovery looked: My wife moved forward on the divorce, my Mother passed away, I was fired from my job and the DA filed felony charges relating to the DUI accident.

Things were getting worse!

While the external circumstances of my life were seemingly spiraling out of control an amazing, remarkable event happened.

In the midst of all the losses and all the tears and all the regrets I began to gradually feel good on the inside. Impossible!

I was told that a 12 step program is about an ‘inside job’ living life from the inside out not the outside in. I learned that connecting to my Higher Power whom I call God was the vital necessary ingredient for feeling good. The step work process showed me exactly how my character defects had been blocking me from the peace I so desperately sought.

It was in a 12 step room when the scales fell from my eyes and I began to see clearly. I finally discovered my real problem, that guy in the mirror.

In my first ninety days of sobriety and for the very first time in my life, the obsession to drink alcohol was lifted from me. Suddenly, amazingly, miraculously I was not thinking about drinking alcohol.

I searched my entire life to find ways to fill that hole in my soul. I tried alcohol, people, money, career success, therapy, religion but nothing could fill the hole inside of me. Nothing worked until I embraced the spiritual solution offered in a 12 step program. Incidentally, I just picked up my 11 year medallion last month but I do not take credit for my recovery. I am grateful to the One who has all power.

Ernest Hemingway said it best for me “life breaks all of us; some of us heal in the broken places’.

A 12 step program saved my life and my recovery has proven to be an ongoing process and not an event. My life continues to get better every day and I truly believe the most satisfactory years of my existence lie ahead.

Today I work in a treatment center where I have the opportunity to help those who suffer as I did. I share a solution with them that really works. I feel both blessed and thankful for this second chance at life.

Tom Bello is in Community Relations for Transformations Treatment Center in Delray Beach, Florida (tbello@transformationstreatment.com) and can be heard on Transformations Radio Saturday mornings at 10:00 am on WFTL 850 AM.

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THE POWER OF ENERGY HEALING FOR ADDICTIVE DISORDERS

By Douglas Schooler, PhD and Inneta Kantor, M.A.

Right now as you read these words you are most likely experiencing an illusion so strong, so powerful, that I might not be able to convince you it is not true. What is it? It’s the false idea that we live in a world of solid matter. The chair you may be sitting on appears solid; the floor you walk on appears hard. But we actually live in a world of vibrating energy and some of that energy vibrates at frequencies that make things appear solid. But as biologist Bruce Lipton points out in his interesting book The Honeymoon Effect, everything we see, everything we touch, everything we are is pure energy. To students of yoga, tai chi, chi gong, or other Eastern arts this is just old news. But to most of us the truths discovered by quantum physics have revolutionized the way we understand our world and the universe.

Energy healing targets the interface between the Universal energy and the personal energy. The energy practitioner guides the Universal energy so it has maximum beneficial effect on the personal energy and the atoms of the body.”

Working with life force energy or the human energy field, variously known as chi, ki, prana, is as old as the ancient mystic masters and as new as the field of epigenetics, as old as Tai Chi and as new as the discovery of the quantum field.

What are the possible benefits of energy healing?

For millennia humans have sensed the significance of energy in healing, but perhaps because energy is largely invisible, Western healing arts have emphasized what can be seen and touched chemicals and surgery.

Over the past century discoveries in quantum physics have renewed attention to energy, since all is energy. Working with energy (variously known as energy medicine, energy healing, and energy balancing) are beginning to impact conventional medical and mental health treatment. What does energy work have to offer in the treatment of addiction? To answer that I consulted Inneta Kantor, a practitioner of Energy Healing beyond Reiki: What attracted you to energy healing?

“Growing up in Russia, where energy work is part of the culture, I discovered that I had a special talent for sensing energy. As a classically trained musician I used this skill in teaching my piano and vocal students with remarkable benefits as well as healing family and friends. The next step was to get formal training in Reiki.

What are the different types of energy healing?

There are numerous approaches to energy healing, some of which are listed in The Honeymoon Effect. Some approaches rely on the stimulation of energy points on the body using needles (acupuncture) or tapping (Thought Field Therapy, Emotional Freedom Techniques, Body Talk). Using the hands either lightly touching or hovering over the body, Healing Touch, Therapeutic Touch, and Reiki have documented success in healing and many nurses use these techniques daily with amazing results. Other approaches focus on the energy vortices (chakras). Still, others manipulate the human aura, the field of energy extending beyond the body. Various forms of ‘meditation’ are emphasized by some approaches. Different techniques have one common goal: to get the energy of the cells, molecules, and atoms of the body flowing smoothly and powerfully.”

How is energy healing different from psychotherapy?

“Mental health treatment today consists mostly of “psychotherapy” which primarily uses language to affect thoughts, feelings, and behavior. The other major form of mental health treatment is behavioral manipulation using rewards and penalties to affect behavior, thoughts, and feelings.

Energy work relies on the fact that all thought, emotion and behavior is ultimately regulated by energy. Picture the atoms in your body vibrating and spinning like tiny tornadoes while at the same time you are surrounded by and permeated by a sea of energy as vast as the Universe. This Universal energy interacts with your personal energy to produce everything that happens to you- your health, your emotions, your thoughts and your behavior.

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What are the ADVANTAGES of energy healing?

• • • • • • •

Energy balancing is primarily non-verbal, it is beyond language.

Subconscious beliefs are modified automatically without effort The client doesn’t need to do anything to benefit The client doesn’t have to “believe” in the treatment for it to work The deepest parts of mind and spirit are affected It is non-invasive and non-toxic It is very cost effective, requiring no equipment or medications

• Gets to the root of the issue(s) and contributes to the optimum functioning of every system of the body, including the cardiovascular, digestive system, nervous system, and even the visual system.

• Creates deep relaxation and aids the body to release stress and tension • It accelerates the body’s self-healing abilities • Aids better sleep • Facilitates the breaking of addictive behavior patterns • Helps ease physical discomfort • Removes energy blockages, adjusts the energy flow of the endocrine system bringing the body into balance and harmony • Assists the body in cleaning itself from toxins • Reduces some of the side effects of drugs and helps the body to recover from drug therapy after surgery and chemotherapy • Supports the immune system • Increases vitality and postpones the aging process • Raises the vibrational frequency of the body to stimulate the body’s self-healing ability • Helps spiritual growth and emotional clearing, and shift Is there research evidence to support energy healing?

“There are hundreds of scientific articles on the benefits of energy healing techniques. Simply search online.”

What are the benefits of energy healing in addictions?

“The addictive process involves every level of human functioningthe emotional, the mental, the behavioral, the physical, and the spiritual. Energy work impacts each of these levels rapidly and simultaneously, facilitating transformation at the deepest levels of mind, body, and spirit. A person caught up in an addictive process needs to change his world view, his belief system, and his behavior.

Psychotherapy and 12 Step programs have dominated addiction treatment up to now and they do have their place. But it is time to step out of the box. Every patient in addiction treatment should have access to a variety of energy balancing approaches.

Dr. Doug Schooler is a Licensed Psychologist and Certified Master Practitioner of Rapid Resolution Therapy. He maintains an independent practice of psychology, The Center for Rapid Resolution Therapy, in Boca Raton, providing treatment to all ages since 1985 (www.DouglasSchooler.com). Before coming to Florida he taught psychology at Eastern Michigan University. He graduated from Queens College in 1964 and received his PhD in psychology from the University of Rhode Island in 1976.

Inneta Kantor is the founder of Energy Healing beyond Reiki which is based on her training in many energy balancing modalities including Reiki. She was born in Moscow, Russia and trained in classical piano and voice, performing as a soloist in Europe and the United States, arriving here in 1981. (www.douglasschooler.com/ energy _healing _beyond_reiki)

ADVE RTISING OPPORTUNITIES

The Sober World is a free national online e-magazine as well as a printed publication. We use an educational and informative approach as an outreach to parents, families, groups and others who have loved ones struggling with addiction.

FOR ADVERTISING OPPORTUNITIES IN OUR MAGAZINE OR ON OUR WEBSITE, PLEASE CONTACT PATRICIA AT 561-910-1943.

We invite you to visit our website at www.thesoberworld.com You will find an abundance of helpful information from resources and services to important links, announcements, gifts, books and articles from contributors throughout the country.

For our e-magazine, send your request to patricia@thesoberworld.com.

If you would like to submit an article for publication, please contact patricia@thesoberworld.com for further information.

Please visit us on Face Book at The Sober World or Steven Sober-World Visit online Face Book at www.facebook.com/pages/The-Sober-World/445857548800036 or Steven Sober-World Twitter at www.twitter.com/thesoberworld LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/pub/patricia-rosen/51/210/955/

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REMEMBERING THE LOST AND EMPOWERING THE LIVING For National Recovery Month, Transforming Youth Recovery hosted The Josh Montoya Beach Memorial to honor the memory of lives lost to addiction. On September 27th, Southern California community members gathered to raise awareness for this disease and to publically commemorate the loss of loved ones.

As participants arrived to the beach they were given a brief tutorial on flower design and were invited to draw a flower on the sand to represent their loved one. Renowned artist, Andres Amador (www. andresamadorarts.com) was commissioned to help those who gathered create a giant, living memorial that covered the entire beach.

We created a flower to honor the memory of Steven Rosen, Patricia Rosen’s son. Patricia is the Publisher of The Sober World magazine. Here is Steven’s flower:

Josh, last year on February 15th to a drug overdose. Josh had experienced several years of continued sobriety before he relapsed. Josh was 29 years old.

Transforming Youth Recovery looks specifically at the community, educational and peer networks that influence youth development and achievement, and is both studying and conceiving novel approaches that have the potential to dramatically expand family and schoolbased prevention, intervention and recovery support services.

The collegiate grant program began in 2012, and by the end of 2015 Transforming Youth Recovery will have awarded 100 seed grants to colleges across the U.S. to start or enhance existing student recovery programs on their campuses.

As part of these efforts, the web-based Capacitype mapping platform was developed to help expand recovery support and service for students struggling with addiction. The Capacitype mapping system is a free, interactive service that allows anyone to locate colleges that offer recovery programs in addition to a myriad of recovery supports in their area, including youth-friendly sober housing, recovery support meetings, treatment services and other educational recovery services required to help students to thrive in the fullness of the collegiate experience.

In less than two years, Transforming Youth Recovery has nearly tripled the number of collegiate recovery efforts across the country.

By the end of 2015, Transforming Youth Recovery will have awarded 100 grants to colleges nationwide to fulfill their mission to educate the public about addiction and recovery and to erase the social stigma that blocks students and their families from seeking help.

Within the hour the entire beach was covered with flowers.

As the inner circle released 240 Monarch butterflies into the air people shouted out the name of the people they wanted to remember. The air was filled with the names of loved ones as the butterflies filled the sky.

We said the Serenity Prayer as the sun set. It was a beautiful time of remembering.

According to the Center for Disease Control, every day 113 people die from a drug overdose in the U.S. Deaths from drug overdose are now the leading cause of injury death, exceeding that of motor vehicle accidents.

Drug addiction and overdose affects hundreds of thousands of families. Stacie Mathewson, Founder of Transforming Youth Recovery, (www.transformingyouthrecovery.org) lost her son

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• Partial Hospitalization Programs, Intensive Outpatient Programs for both substance abuse and co-occurring disorders, and Out Patient Programs • Clinical services are conducted exclusively by master's level and PhD. clinicians specializing in substance abuse treatment, trauma, and co-occurring disorders • Banyan Treatment Center now offers the newest form of urgent addiction care; PHP stabilization designed to allow clients to bridge the gap from detox to intensive outpatient services without unnecessary extended treatment episodes • 24 hour admissions help line: 844-4Banyan (844-422-6926)

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P.O. BOX 880175 BOCA RATON, FLORIDA 33488-0175 www.thesoberworld.com

The contents of this book may not be reproduced either in whole or in part without consent of publisher. Every effort has been made to include accurate data, however the publisher cannot be held liable for material content or errors. This publication offers Therapeutic Services, Drug & Alcohol Rehabilitative services, and other related support systems. You should not rely on the information as a substitute for, nor does it replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any concerns or questions about your health, you should always consult with a physician or other health-care professional. Do not disregard, avoid or delay obtaining medical or health related advice from your health care professional because of something you may have read in this publication. The Sober World LLC and its publisher do not recommend nor endorse any advertisers in this magazine and accepts no responsibility for services advertised herein. Content published herein is submitted by advertisers with the sole purpose to aid and educate families that are faced with drug/alcohol and other addiction issues and to help families make informed decisions about preserving quality of life.

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