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a n i r r e v e r e n t v i e w at t h e r h s c h e l s e a f l o w e r s h o w i n s p i r e d b y t h e w o r l d wa r o n e n e w s pa p e r w h i c h t o o k a h u m o r o u s l o o k at l i f e o n t h e f r o n t l i n e w e a r e i n d e b t e d t o a l l w h o c o n t r i b u t e d t o t h e o r i g i n a l pa p e r s . o p i n i o n s e x p r e s s e d i n t h i s p u b l i c at i o n a r e n o t f i t f o r p u b l i c c o n s u m p t i o n a n d d o n o t n e c e s s a r i ly r e f l e c t t h e v i e w o r o p i n i o n s o f t h e r h s , t h e s o l d i e r s ’ c h a r i t y , t h e b r i t i s h a r m y o r a n yo n e e l s e a s s o c i at e d i n a n y way w i t h t h i s p u b l i c at i o n
a l l t h e l at e s t f r o m t h e c h e l s e a f l o w e r s h o w i n c l u d i n g ; wa r c o r r e s p o n d e n t k at e a d i e o n a u n i q u e m o m e n t f o r b r i t i s h f o o t b a l l i n g h i s t o ry , d a n j a rv i s m p l o o k s a h e a d , c o n t r i b u t i o n s f r o m t h e o r i g i n a l w i p e r s t i m e s , a s t o ry f r o m t o d ay ’ s n o m a n ’ s l a n d
It’s been announced today that The Soldiers’ Charity and Garden Designer Charlotte Rowe have won a medal to rival any modern Major General. A gold medal at Chelsea is a just reward for time spent digging trenches, building mounds and surviving inclement weather. Other gardens offered healthy competition but No Man’s Land kept a stiff upper lip and made it on parade in good order.
YESTERDAY IN NO MAN’S LAND As the team wandered deeper into the unknown, thoughts turned to the treasure ahead. What would they find? Would the hours of blood, sweat and toil in the soil result in the discovery of the elusive gold at the end of the trail? Buried in amongst the undergrowth, beyond the mound and at the bottom of the deepest tunnels they delved, striving with every inch of their being. Exhausted, weary and communicating in nothing but grunts, the fateful day arrived... As the chest (or in this case the envelope) creaked open, some say that a dog howled in a far off land and dropped dead, others that they felt the ground shift underneath them. But for the intrepid travellers, all they saw was the gleam of gold, our gold. Proudly it is displayed, resplendent in the afternoon sun; Triumph!
K AT E A D I E W R I T E S
FLOWER OF T H E DAY
How shall we help soldiers returning from war? In World War One, the answer came from a surprising source. Hundreds of young women working in the munitions factories decided they should do their bit for the injured men coming back from the trenches. While middleclass women were raising enormous sums of money by arranging concerts, fairs, bring-and-buy sales, as well as knitting literally millions of garments – the factory girls headed for the football pitch. Before the war, there had been sporadic attempts to start women’s soccer. Most of them had met with outraged comment from both onlookers and the press: ‘The members of the British Ladies’ Football Club have played their first match in public. We hope it will be their last’ opined the Jarrow Express. Convention held that women were always wore skirts to the ground, their long hair held in place with dozens of pins. But this was wartime – and convention was being challenged. Across the country, teams were formed by ‘munitionettes’ who worked twelve-hour shifts in dangerous conditions ramming TNT into huge shells and making bullets and bombs. Women in engineering and the shipyards joined in. They convinced the FA to allow them to play on official pitches and set about charging admission – all of the money to go to help soldiers. Many had members of their family at the front; many were already seeing the consequences of fighting coming home. The matches drew huge crowds – perhaps attracted by the extraordinary innovation – of shorts, with stripey proper football shirts - and mob caps. They aimed to play well and the local press reported them fairly, though it’s not often you read that, as at a game in aid of the Durham Light Infantry, ‘Mrs Shafto, attended by the Mayor, kicked off.’
Trollius Alabster Also known as the ‘Globeflower,’ the Trollius Alabaster grows best at the edge of boggy soils and at pond margins. It has been grown in ornamental gardens since the 16th century, which would explain why it has ‘grown’ a little tired.
just in! British Intelligence officials today confirmed rumours that they were the source behind the since-discredited reports of the Chelsea Flower Show being behind the annexation of Crimea. How security chiefs initially came to this conclusion is still mired in controversy, with differing reports suggesting confusion over a mother-in-laws upcoming birthday being the most likely cause. Intelligence Officers are refusing to confirm or deny that disciplinary action will be taken against either the official involved or the mother-in-law.
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watch list
Rupert Cary World War One Memoir
Da n J arv is M B E M P C ommemorating World War one
Extracts from the memoirs of Major General RTO Cary, Grandfather of our garden designer, Charlotte Rowe
sho u ld ma k e u s loo k to the f u t u re Cox’s & Co
as well as remembering the past I’ve always believed we can learn a lot from history, and there have been few events that transformed our country more than the First World War. Wipers Times investigations have learnt that the aphid has been added to the ‘watch list’ of terror organisations following a particularly warm spring. Our correspondents across the UK have reports of cells popping up, and isolated incidents of infestation, particularly in rosy communities. This announcement, which follows several previous announcements of the slug and greenfly joining the ol’ enemy the wasp, is indicating a shift in emphasis in Whitehall. Sources say that Government officials have become obsessed with defeating these creatures rather than focusing on the day to day issue of running the country, a claim that Downing Street has denied. ‘We are committed to delivering on our manifesto’ they claim ‘but how can we miss this opportunity to defeat a common enemy.’ The Wipers Times refuses to be drawn on its opinion to the furore and suggestions that singling out and blaming a single group is a lazy and populist gesture, have not originated from these pages. A movement has sprung up arguing that by adding them to the watch list we are reducing chances of dialogue in the future and that a better tactic would be to try and win over ‘hearts and minds’, a programme described by a leading think tank as absolute bollocks.
CUPID’S CORNER B y “ C Y N T H I A” from Issue No.3 Volume No.1 Monday 22nd May 1916
AS THE Editor has been so troubled with correspondence from lovelorn members of the Division, and feels that he is not qualified to deal with this section of his readers, he has deputed me to deal with them, and I shall be pleased to give advice in all little difficulties relating to “affaires de cœur.”
A N SW E R S TO C O R R E S P O N D E N T S
Troubled. – Your letter is rather obscure. Am I to understand that you have actually proposed, or that you are merely waiting an opportunity. As you appear to be in a position to marry, I think it is your clear duty to do so at once. Remember no girl of spirit likes to be played with.
Red tab.
– Thanks for the enclosed photo. You appear to be a very nice-looking boy. I am sorry to dissappoint you, but if the young lady whom you call Tina has already refused the attentions of two generals, then do you not think it would be better to dismiss her from your thoughts. It may hurt now, but will soon be over.
Clara. – Yes, I think the major treated you very badly indeed. But do not worry, forget him, and anyway he is only a major.
Ginger.
– I am surprised that you should address such a letter to a lady ! You ought to write and beg her forgiveness at once. But please let me know what she answers. CYNTHIA T H E “ L OV E E X P E RT ”.
It changed Britain forever. It touched every family, fundamentally altered our country’s place in the world, and left a mark on every community. Of the 16,000 towns and villages across Britain in 1914, only 40 would reach 1918 without having lost someone in the conflict. More than 9 million soldiers lost their lives, including 900,000 British and Commonwealth servicemen. And it was the first truly total war, impacting on people here at home as well as on the frontline. As we reflect on events a century ago, this year’s commemorations provide us with a unique opportunity to pay tribute to the service and sacrifice of those who laid down their lives, and to reflect on the wider social change that the war brought about. We have a solemn duty to remember those who served 100 years ago, as well as those who fought and died in other conflicts since 1918, and the men and women who continue to serve us today. As a former Major in The Parachute Regiment, I’ll also be thinking of my colleagues who have fallen in more recent conflicts this year as I will the men of the Barnsley Pals battalions who set out from my constituency to defend our country a century ago. But as well as events on the frontline, this year’s events also give us an opportunity to reflect on the wider changes that World War One brought about on the home front.
As far as the officers were concerned the usual plan was to take a taxi from Victoria and make a beeline for Cox’s and Co where one cashed a cheque; then one went straight to the barbers for the complete works – shampoo shave and general clean-up before descending on London for one hell of a party! On my first leave home this did not go quite to plan. I arrived late and took the first taxi I could on the rota at Victoria and got to the bank very late. I was greeted by a young man who said that he was very sorry but the bank was closed. I explained that I had just arrived from France with no money at all. But he was adamant. This was most unlike Cox’s usual procedure as they normally went out of their way to help officers on leave. I got nowhere however. So the situation was that I had a taxi running its engine, waiting for me outside the bank and I had not got enough money to pay the fare let alone have funds for painting the town a bit pink! I racked my brains to think of where I could cash a cheque and was just beginning to feel defeated when a figure came running out of the bank. I recognised him as the manager. He looked up and down Pall Mall, spotted me next to the still chugging taxi and approached. He apologised profusely for the incident, saying that it should never happened and said that he had brought some money for me and that I should return to the bank the next morning to make out a cheque to cover it. ‘Good Lord, are you trusting me to that extent?’ I said, ‘Of course’, he said. He asked me how much I needed and I said that I thought a fiver would do ’Well I have brought you ten’, he said, ‘You just come along tomorrow and square it up, he said and disappeared into the bank.
coming through today ’ s no man ’ s land : dawa lama bohote
How the conflict empowered women – who took on roles and responsibilities that until then had always been exclusively reserved for men. How it changed who could have a say in our society, with women and working men finally being granted the vote in 1918. How it sparked great advances in technology and led to profound changes to family life. So we should not only remember what’s gone before, but also think about the way we live our lives today. And what comes next. That would be the most fitting tribute we could possibly pay.
Thiepval Wood The tired air groans as the heavies swing over, the riverhollows boom; The shell-foundations leap from the swamps, and with wildfire and fume The shoulder of the chalkdown convulses Then the jabbering echoes stampede in the slatting wood, Ember-black the gibbet trees like bones or thorns protrude From the poisonous smoke – past all impulses. To them these silvery dews can never again be dear, Nor the blue javelin-flame of the thunderous noons strike fear. by Edmund Blunden
Life in the Army is disciplined, regimented and structured, with your family and your comrades surrounding you. Values like selflessness and courage are important. When you leave the Army – for whatever the reason – you often give up your job, your home, your ties to an area, your children’s schools and a way of life. Support during this transition can make a big difference to both the soldier and their family. I was injured in an incident while serving in Afghanistan that resulted in me completely losing my hearing. I was medically discharged and began the transition back into civilian life. Having been made deaf, this was made all the more difficult. The Soldiers’ Charity provided me with a number of grants that paid for a computing course and driving lessons, which game me new skills and independence. I have since moved back to Nepal to be with my family but with the training and subsequent qualifications I gained, I now hope to pursue a career in computing. Because of this assistance I am optimistic about the future. I want to say thank you to The Soldiers’ Charity, it has given me the chance to live my life unassisted and I am very grateful for its support.
There is plenty still to enjoy this week in The Wipers Times and at Chelsea. If you don’t have a ticket we of course cannot condone nipping over the fence under cover of darkness. the serious part While it’s all fun at The Chelsea Flower Show and it’s a great British trait to make light of serious situations, ‘No Man’s Land’ was a terrifying place for soldiers during World War One.
Today’s reality is that any soldier, veteran or family member can find themselves in a kind of ‘No Man’s Land.’ The Soldiers’ Charity exists to support them in those times of greatest need.
The understanding that today, soldiers can feel lost when they leave the Army is very powerful, especially if they leave as the result of injury or redundancy. We are seeing an increasing demand for help
with training and employment during the transition period between leaving the Army and finding a new direction in life. This is where we, as a charity, are stepping in to provide assistance
p l e a s e h e l p u s s u p p o rt t h e m e n a n d wo m e n w h o h av e s e rv e d u s – v i s i t w w w . s o l d i e r s c h a r i t y . o rg to s i g n u p to r e c e i v e yo u r da i ly w i p e r s t i m e s , r e l e a s e d e v e ry m o r n i n g d u r i n g t h e r h s c h e l s e a f low e r s h ow , r e g i st e r at w w w . s o l d i e r s c h a r i t y . o rg / w i p e r s ABF The Soldiers’ Charity is a charity registered in England and Wales (1146420) and in Scotland (SC039189). Registered as a company limited by guarantee in England and Wales (07974609) Registered Office: Mountbarrow House, 6-20 Elizabeth Street, London SW1W 9RB. Tel: 020 7901 8900. Email: fundraising@soldierscharity.org
t he no m a n ’ s la n d ga r de n at t he r hs c he ls e a fl ow e r s how 201 4 i s su p p o rt e d by