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a n i r r e v e r e n t v i e w at t h e r h s c h e l s e a f l o w e r s h o w i n s p i r e d b y t h e w o r l d wa r o n e n e w s pa p e r w h i c h t o o k a h u m o r o u s l o o k at l i f e o n t h e f r o n t l i n e w e a r e i n d e b t e d t o a l l w h o c o n t r i b u t e d t o t h e o r i g i n a l pa p e r s . o p i n i o n s e x p r e s s e d i n t h i s p u b l i c at i o n a r e n o t f i t f o r p u b l i c c o n s u m p t i o n a n d d o n o t n e c e s s a r i ly r e f l e c t t h e v i e w o r o p i n i o n s o f t h e r h s , t h e s o l d i e r s ’ c h a r i t y , t h e b r i t i s h a r m y o r a n yo n e e l s e a s s o c i at e d i n a n y way w i t h t h i s p u b l i c at i o n
a l l t h e l at e s t f r o m t h e c h e l s e a f l o w e r s h o w i n c l u d i n g ; wa r c o r r e s p o n d e n t k at e a d i e o n a u n i q u e m o m e n t f o r b r i t i s h f o o t b a l l i n g h i s t o ry , d a n j a rv i s m p l o o k s a h e a d , c o n t r i b u t i o n s f r o m t h e o r i g i n a l w i p e r s t i m e s , a s t o ry f r o m t o d ay ’ s n o m a n ’ s l a n d
It’s been announced today that The Soldiers’ Charity and Garden Designer Charlotte Rowe have won a medal to rival any modern Major General. A gold medal at Chelsea is a just reward for time spent digging trenches, building mounds and surviving inclement weather. Other gardens offered healthy competition but No Man’s Land kept a stiff upper lip and made it on parade in good order.
YESTERDAY IN NO MAN’S LAND As the team wandered deeper into the unknown, thoughts turned to the treasure ahead. What would they find? Would the hours of blood, sweat and toil in the soil result in the discovery of the elusive gold at the end of the trail? Buried in amongst the undergrowth, beyond the mound and at the bottom of the deepest tunnels they delved, striving with every inch of their being. Exhausted, weary and communicating in nothing but grunts, the fateful day arrived... As the chest (or in this case the envelope) creaked open, some say that a dog howled in a far off land and dropped dead, others that they felt the ground shift underneath them. But for the intrepid travellers, all they saw was the gleam of gold, our gold. Proudly it is displayed, resplendent in the afternoon sun; Triumph!
K AT E A D I E W R I T E S
FLOWER OF T H E DAY
How shall we help soldiers returning from war? In World War One, the answer came from a surprising source. Hundreds of young women working in the munitions factories decided they should do their bit for the injured men coming back from the trenches. While middleclass women were raising enormous sums of money by arranging concerts, fairs, bring-and-buy sales, as well as knitting literally millions of garments – the factory girls headed for the football pitch. Before the war, there had been sporadic attempts to start women’s soccer. Most of them had met with outraged comment from both onlookers and the press: ‘The members of the British Ladies’ Football Club have played their first match in public. We hope it will be their last’ opined the Jarrow Express. Convention held that women were always wore skirts to the ground, their long hair held in place with dozens of pins. But this was wartime – and convention was being challenged. Across the country, teams were formed by ‘munitionettes’ who worked twelve-hour shifts in dangerous conditions ramming TNT into huge shells and making bullets and bombs. Women in engineering and the shipyards joined in. They convinced the FA to allow them to play on official pitches and set about charging admission – all of the money to go to help soldiers. Many had members of their family at the front; many were already seeing the consequences of fighting coming home. The matches drew huge crowds – perhaps attracted by the extraordinary innovation – of shorts, with stripey proper football shirts - and mob caps. They aimed to play well and the local press reported them fairly, though it’s not often you read that, as at a game in aid of the Durham Light Infantry, ‘Mrs Shafto, attended by the Mayor, kicked off.’
Trollius Alabster Also known as the ‘Globeflower,’ the Trollius Alabaster grows best at the edge of boggy soils and at pond margins. It has been grown in ornamental gardens since the 16th century, which would explain why it has ‘grown’ a little tired.
just in! British Intelligence officials today confirmed rumours that they were the source behind the since-discredited reports of the Chelsea Flower Show being behind the annexation of Crimea. How security chiefs initially came to this conclusion is still mired in controversy, with differing reports suggesting confusion over a mother-in-laws upcoming birthday being the most likely cause. Intelligence Officers are refusing to confirm or deny that disciplinary action will be taken against either the official involved or the mother-in-law.
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