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.big YOUTH CRIME 08 MANOREXIA 14 FESTIVALS 18 PROFILE: KATY PERRY 21 WATSON: IT'S A NEW ERA 22 CLOUD COMPUTING 26 WE FOUGHT TO KEEP MY NAN OUT OF CARE 29 VOLUNTEERING IN TANZANIA 31 INTERVIEW: REUBAN AGBOOLA 34 STATE OF THE BEAUTIFUL GAME 36 TENERIFE SUMMER SUN 39 TOP 5 TIPS: BOOST YOUR SEX LIFE 42




now maybe if I had a stronger punishment in the first place it would have stop me reoffending.” Jack continues to say: “Most of the crimes I was committing were because I was bored. I was never clever at school so I didn’t go much; looking back now if I had something to do with my time I reckon my behaviour wouldn’t have been so reckless.” Jack believes, along with many, that the Government are not enforcing strong enough punishments on youths encouraging them to re-offend. Kenneth Clarke proposes that “young offenders could have their juvenile criminal record scrapped once they reach 18 so they are not stopped from pursuing options such as higher education.” Home secretary Theresa May says that society has to stop tolerating anti social behaviour as a bit of nuisance and make it stop. May has been the driving force in moving beyond the ASBO. Explaining her reasoning the MP said: “For 13 years, politicians told us that the government had the answer; that the ASBO was the silver bullet that would cure all society’s ills. It wasn’t. Life is more complex than that.” May suggests, putting power into the hands of our citizens and trust into the professionals to try and solve this matter. She outlines the importance of society coming together and working together to tackle youth crime. Yet aware that other social issues’ impact on youth crime she adds: “It’s about dealing with the worklessness and reforming welfare. There are 1.4 million young people under 25 who are not working or in full time education. They want to make something of their lives, and the government have to help them do so.” Gary Simmonette a 41 year old Manchester police officer says: “There is only so much that we as police officers can do. If we catch youth’s offending we take them in and follow the right procedures but it is down to the courts and the government as to what punishments they get. If parents were stricter at home with their children they wouldn’t be gallivanting out and about annoying the innocent public and wasting police time.” Gary from Manchester, adds: “I agree that youths need harsher punishments and more activities to keep them entertained. Schools need to be stricter and so do the parents. There needs to be more opportunities for youths after they have been punished to stop them

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his year has seen a soar in youth offending according to new statistics. Figures show Britain and Wales have more young people in custody than any other European country equal only to Turkey. These worrying stats show more than 2,000 youngsters have been banged up so far this year alone and the latest figures reveal more than 7,000 ASBOs were issued to under 18s in 2009. This month the government announced the ASBO would be abolished in favour of new behaviour orders. The new Criminal Behaviour Order can be attached to a criminal conviction whilst the Crime Prevention Injunction will target antisocial behaviour before it becomes a bigger problem. Individuals given the new orders could face punishments that include the confiscation of personal items such as iPods or other electrical items. The reforms will also put pressure upon police to take low-level offences more seriously. Criticism of ASBOs since their introduction in 1999 centred around the fact that breaches of the order could only result in jail time, often seen as disproportionate to the crime rendering many ASBOs meaningless or unenforceable. Under the new proposals the police will be given a number of remedies to combat anti-social behaviour ranging from the confiscation of property to offenders repairing the damage they caused or washing away graffiti. Jack O’Connell, 19 from South London is a serial youth offender. He believes the new measures do not go far enough to deter youth crime. He says: “When I was 14 I was put on tag for the first time for fighting and criminal damage. I thought it was a weak punishment as I hardly ever obeyed my curfew and I still continued to break the law.” “I got in with the wrong crowd from my estate and everyone always egged me on to do crazy things which I did. I don’t think the punishment was fit for the crimes. Getting put on tag didn’t teach me anything as I only got put on it again when I was 16 for joy riding. It didn’t really seem like a punishment to me it just meant I had to be in a little bit earlier than my mates but we still did managed to get in to trouble before I had to be in. Looking back

words - emma stuart/design - scott newman

Statistics show that youth crime is at an all-time high. As the Government announce new plans to tackle anti social behaviour HYPE asks whether new measures go far enough to break the cycle of re-offending.

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re-offending again.” James Benn was 17 when he was put on tag and he is now 26 and a reformed person. James says: “Being put on tag worked for me as I was constantly embarrassed that I had to be in at a certain time. I was put on tag for 3 months but it was only valid on a Friday and Saturday night. When all my mates were going out and having a laugh I had to go and sit in with my mum.” James a carpet fitter from Croydon continued: “It defiantly made me think about what I did and made me not want to end up in the same position again. I was humiliated and kept my tag constantly hidden. I just couldn’t wait to get myself out of it and vowed never to do it again. I got into a fight with another kid when I was younger and was hanging out on the streets. I agree with Theresa May when she says that teacher’s need to be stricter and there needs to be more activities for kids to do. This will enable them to get off the streets and do things that will keep them out of trouble.” Youth worker Christine Clarke, 52 says: “Youth

offending is very common in Britain and in my personal experience it stems from these youngsters being bored and going through bad childhood experiences. Most of the kids I’ve worked with who have been in trouble with the police are falling behind at school and have not had a very good upbringing, either coming from broken homes or suffered abuse.” Christine from Reading says: “The route of the problem is the environment that children are brought up in today. They’re surrounded by violence whether it comes from watching the television, to playing video games to social networking sites. I think that sport needs to be brought back in to children’s lives they need hobbies other then standing on street corners looking for trouble.” Christine continued: Crime amongst young people stems for other reasons to, a child could be getting bullied or is under pressure from school, has money problems or there is too much of a wide availability of drugs and alcohol for them. They could face poor housing have no stability or even have learning difficulties. In my experience a lot of youth crime also starts out with peer pressure from other kids. If the Government spend more time with these young offenders they will realise that not all of them

are criminals they just need a little steering in the right direction.” To those working at a grass roots level it is clear that the recent measures lack gravitas and fail to address the real issues relating to youth crime, failing to stop the cycle of re-offending. The Conservatives have crowed how their new plans will introduce effective measures to tackle anti-social behavior and low-level crime, including forms of restorative justice such as Neighborhood Justice Panels. They have also said that they will introduce a ‘rehabilitation revolution’ that will pay independent providers to reduce reoffending, paid for by the savings this new approach will generate within the criminal justice system but this month’s new orders only go some way to fulfilling this promise. Christine added: “If Britain can stop youths re-offending by introducing these rehabilitation programs there’s a good chance that this will stomp out the offending altogether. If kids can see that if they do wrong they will get a real punishment they will be encouraged to do something more with their time.” For Marie Stuart, 54, having a criminal son has brought its own issues. Her son Terry has had his collar felt more than once by the law and she feels stronger punishments are the only

There are 1.4 million young people not working or in the in full time education. The Government have to help men do something with their lives.


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All young people have incredible potential with the right support place deterrent to persistent youth offenders. The Essex mum said: “My son Terry has recently been put on electronic tag for punching a bouncer outside a club, but there was nothing I could have done better as a mother. I taught him right from wrong but he is 19 now and at some point they need to start taking responsibility for their own actions. “I think alcohol is a big part in youth crime. Everyone reacts to alcohol in different ways but when you’re younger boys like Terry binge drink with their mates and can’t handle the effects properly. Alcohol seems to make kids over react to the smallest things. I see it all the time; kids underage drinking and getting themselves into trouble. They need more of a structure to their lives and to stop wanting to grow up so fast but this is no excuse for Terry or other youth offender’s actions.” Marie continued: “I think that stronger punishments need to be given so that youths learn from their mistakes. No matter how old you are when you break the law, you know that you are doing wrong and therefore should be punished. From a young age most are taught right from wrong and the

consequences of doing wrong. No one should think that they are above the law. However for very young offenders I think there should be strict punishments that are not as harsh as prison, to prevent them being influenced by a wrong crowd – after all everyone is entitled to make a few mistakes.” Our best bet at tackling youth offenders could be to look to countries who don’t suffer from this problem as much as the UK. Singapore boasts one of the lowest youth crime rates in the world and this is down to scare tactics. Singapore has much harsher punishments which make youth’s not want to break the law through fear. Re-offending is also low compared to other countries as once a youth has been through a punishment they will not want to go through it again. According to the professionals and the general public stronger punishments are the way forward. There is also an underlying call for more focus on youth engagement and recreational activities to get youngsters involved to keep them off the streets and out of trouble. Youth worker Christine added: “ We need more incentives for unemployed youngsters and we need more discipline in the classrooms. We need parents to become stricter and most importantly we need to come together as a society and stick together. Only when this is achieved will we see lower levels in youth

crime.” ‘Youth crime at its highest’ it all comes down to the same factors. This is a problem that starts from basic childhood upbringing within homes and ventures on into schools. Roles have reversed so that the child has more control over the parents. Children no longer fear adults therefore boundaries are broken.“ Jennifer Izeko one of the newest members of the Youth Justice Board says: ‘All young people have incredible potential and with the right support in place, those in the criminal justice system can go on to become active and productive citizens. YOT is a new government initiative which aims to identify suitable programmes to address the needs of the young person with the intention of preventing further offending. Standing for the Young Offending Teams, the initiative consists of representatives from the police, probation service, social services, health, education, drugs and alcohol misuse and housing officers assigning a key worker to a young offender to assess their behaviour and aims to identify the specific problems that make the young person offend as well as measuring the risk they pose to others. If more services like this are made easily available to young offenders then maybe we might have a chance at cracking down on this problem.


N I A T I R B N E K O BR

Geographic Region North East Yorkshire North West Midlands London Wales South West South East

Sentence Number 22,958 32,020 42,351 30,447 28,187 15,157 23,274 38,323

Actual Population of Area (2004) 2.6m 5.0m 6.8m 5.3m 7.4m 3.0m 5.0m 8.1m

Ratio of Sentences to Population 1:113 1:156 1:161 1:174 1:177 1:198 1:215 1:211

Source: http://www.civitas.org.uk/crime/factsheet-YouthOffending.pdf

Percentage of Sentences Per Population 0.88% 0.64% 0.62% 0.57% 0.56% 0.50% 0.47% 0.47%

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s t a t s e m i r c h t u uk yo

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NOREXIA A M THE HOWS AND WHYS BEHIND THE SCALES...


around like sheep. But inside, he was realising that the joy of being popular is short-lived when your body is beginning to fail. After months of not eating his weight had dropped from 9 stone to 6 and a half. It was only then that Jack’s mum finally realised what was happening to her blue-eyed boy. “I was sitting in my room playing with the empty sweet wrappers I had found at school to convince my family I was eating. My mum came in and without saying a word I knew she no longer believed my lies. I broke down and confessed about the secrecy and pain.” With the support of his family he managed to open up to a counsellor. “She laughed at me. I had never felt so ashamed to be who I was. She told me that I was obviously craving attention and to simply just eat. But by this point I was struggling so much with the disorder that I would spend multiple hours a day looking in the mirror and tugging at pieces of skin, finding any bit of me I could to scrutinize. To ‘just eat’ was the only race that I couldn’t seem to win.” So the cycle of lies started again when jack told his parents that talking to the councillor had helped, but he continued to avoid any interaction with food that he could. “There were multiple times over the years that my mum asked me if I was still having problems as I sat there in my oversized jumpers with food stains down them that I had purposely put there. I would always tell her the same thing; if there was didn’t she think I would tell her. I’d put food off my plate into my pocket when no

one was looking and I’d put the crumbs from the toaster on a plate to look like I’d eaten. I got to the point where I wasn’t able to lose any more weight however hard I tried and I succumbed to the reality that this was what was going to kill me. If I’m honest I couldn’t wait.” But in March 2010, Jack was at work in his home town of Essex and finally found a reason to make his life better. In the place he felt most vulnerable, he never expected to be able to talk to a girl, yet alone find the love of his life. “She walked in and all the lads couldn’t stop staring at her; she was stunning. I made sure I was the one to serve her and her friends their dinner and gave them as many freebies as I could get away with. After two hours of drooling over this girl flicking her hair and pouting her lips; she handed me their payment, and written on the bottom of the bill was her phone number.” After a few dates and a first kiss, Jack realised it would soon be time to tell Lauren about his hidden truth. Finally, plucking up the courage after two months of dating, he told her everything and her reaction was the best

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onday afternoons at the gym are full of men working off the weekend’s curries, beer and crisps but for a minority of men, even the thought of a meal is daunting let alone a whole weekend of binge eating and drinking. Male anorexia is taking away lives and making the thought of calories create shivers throughout sufferer’s bodies. Horrific stories about girls or women with anorexia nervosa are featured daily in many different magazines, online and are told from person to person. However, the issue of male anorexia is hidden under a blanket of secrecy across the world. According to many of the leading support organisations including Beat, the charity aiming to combat eating disorders, 15% of anorexia nervosa sufferers are male. The number of sufferers is rising at an extremely fast pace so maybe it’s time to find out why. Working with food is a nightmare for any person with an eating disorder as it means battling a devil every time food service begins. Jack Ward, a 20 year old Restaurant Supervisor; felt embarrassed and ashamed of his attitude towards food every time he started a shift. “I’m happy to serve the customers and I enjoy my job, but I dreaded the shifts where there are left over puddings or the chef has to offer me the meal he’s just made to the staff because the presentation is awful. I tried to hide from my staff just so I didn’t have to eat a spoonful. This only made me loathe myself even more.” Starting to suffer from the disorder at 13 years old, Jack realised that he was going to have a harder time dealing with puberty than most kids. Top of his class, never received a detention, a genius in the making; Jack’s world began to crash around him because of the older kids. “I was teased when I was little for being fat by some top years, but I realise now it was the puppy fat that most boys have. I took it to heart and thought that the only way for everyone to like me was to just stop eating,” he said. Not only did this hinder his growth but it affected him emotionally to the point of depression; “I would never let myself cry, because I was a boy and that would end in more grief at school, but I just wanted the world to swallow me up.” Jack was a great runner and he found that losing weight helped him to beat his previous records in the 100m sprint. He soon became the popular athlete that he had been dreaming of and felt as though he was being rewarded for the choices he was making. Every boy in school wanted to be him, with the girls following him

WORDS: AMY BENNETT / DESIGN: DANIEL POOLE

Male anorexia is grasping the lives of more men every year with no sign of ceasing. The thought of eating a meal making some men shiver with fear seems ridiculous; yet it is more real than it has ever been.

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he could have received. She supported him and encouraged him to get help and to make his life better. Nine months on Lauren has helped Jack to start the recovery process, sat with him through every counselling session and been the rock he needed to find. With her support Jack managed to eat his first three course meal and is enjoying life more than he ever has. “I needed someone to drag me out of the hole that was only getting deeper, and who knew that a gorgeous girl would be that person.” Arnold Anderson, a leading academic expert in male anorexia, reveals that this is a very common story. According to research there are four main triggers for the disorder, the most common being to avoid be teased for being fat. So with tackling bullying in schools, the issue of anorexia in young boys could almost be eliminated. The others include to help improve a relationship and to improve athletic ability. At 29, unlike Jack, Brian Fox is still struggling to battle the disorder that doctors have warned could eventually end his life. At the difficult age of 14, Brian had his first crush at school. Following her round like a puppy he wanted more than anything for her to feel the same but instead she teased him. Calling him ‘fat’ and making it obvious she wasn’t interested was to turn Brian’s life upside down. He had never been much of a fan of eating breakfast but he decided just to cut out the idea all together. This developed quickly into cutting

out lunch and only picking at his dinner. With this dangerous regime he began to rapidly lose weight, loosing multiple pounds every week. It was only when he turned eighteen that things hit rock bottom. “It had been around ten days since I had eaten, and I was told that I could not join the Marine Corps and I was held back in high school due to poor performance. I drank three pints of Schnapps and took 100 valium pills. I then took it one step further and slit both of my wrists. After I was in the hospital, they told me that if I didn’t start eating I would die.” To most people it would seem like the solution would be to change your lifestyle and fight, but for Brian that wasn’t what he wanted and so he carried on the way he had for the previous 4 years. Today, an IT technician with

perfect figures, the disorder is dominating more lives than ever before. This is bound to only have a negative result as people battle to be the skinniest or most desirable. ‘Manorexia’ rates have risen by around 70% in the past few years, and although it is hard to be sure of the exact number of sufferers in the UK; it is certain that the illness is taking hold of more and more lives. Because of the attitudes in today’s society, many sufferers of this disorder are embarrassed to seek help in case they are assumed to be homosexual or pathetic. Not all men are pure muscle and an automatic ladies magnet but this is how males are expected to be in a perfect world. With the general attitude of the public being that eating disorders are a ‘girl’s problem’, this drives male suffers away from the clinics. This doesn’t need to be the case and as the attitudes in society change the disorder may become a wider known issue. Watching someone decrease in weight and increase in self-loathing isn’t a situation that any one wants to find themselves in but if you can help someone to regain their life, do so. Arnold Anderson gives advice on how to cope if you think that someone you know has the mental illness. “It doesn’t work to be food police or get angry at the person who has an eating disorder. Know the signs and symptoms, and then tell them you’ll get off their back if they keep an appointment at a qualified clinic with experience in eating disorders.” In the end, the only person who can truly help a male anorexia sufferer is himself, but the pain and suffering of Jack and Brian shows that this mental illness can manipulate and destroy lives regardless of whether they have positive support.

I sat there in oversized jumpers with food stains down them that I had purposefully put there. a good salary, he is still a victim to the illness and cannot find a reason to end his suffering. Having a young son and a loving girlfriend is not even enough to drag him from his despair. “My biggest fear is that I am going to pass this disease onto my young son. If I could tell him one thing before I finally succumb to this disease it would be just to love himself first. Once he can do that, he will be impervious to the wicked arrows shot at him by his peers. I was never that lucky.” “In a fast paced society, the first look is often the only look,” Anderson says, which puts pressure on people to be attractive more than ever. With celebrities dominating the media market with their stylish attire and air-brush



A Day In The Life Of A Festival Worker We all look forward to the summer, there Is so much to look forward to, the barbeques, holidays and most of all the festivals.


drinking occurs. ‘In a nutshell, it’s a 4 day, 24 hour festival for everyone, from new born babies to pensioners, there is something for everybody.’ Everyone tends to go ‘festival shopping’ over summer for funky wellies, straw hats and denim shorts but what do the workers have to wear? Jamie explains: ‘Most of the time we dress funky and as quirky as possible but for events such as VIP parties, we dress in more formal attire. I worked at Simon Cowell’s birthday party and we were told to just dress in black.’ So not only do the workers get to meet performers back stage, they can join in the after parties and even watch the performers throughout the day. Jamie has watched countless acts at all the festivals and even managed to snag a spot on stage with Plan B. She admits: ‘I nearly fainted when Plan B put his arm around me.’ Maybe this summer, we need to apply for jobs at festivals, it seems the workers get the best perks and they’re £50 up at the end of it all.

WORDS: grace ricciardi/ DESIGN: marcus faint

She has also found incredible friendships along the way. She says: ‘The catering company is like one big happy family.’ Each year at V Festival she spends most of her time with T4 presenter’s Jameela and Rick Edwards. Jamie and fellow work mate, Francesca Hale, 21, even got the chance to present part of the show, which was broadcast on channel 4. She has met several performers over the years from Pixie Lott to Dizzee Rascal. Jamie recalls that meeting N-Dubz was a surreal situation. She says: ‘Frazer and Dappy were back stage; Tulisa introduced Fran and me. They wrapped their arms over us, thinking they were God’s gift to women. They’re very sweet guys though, despite their reputations.’ When asked which her favourite festival was, she said: ‘Glastonbury, without a doubt. The festival is in a league of its own. It’s nearly the same size as my hometown; it’s like living in a different world. It’s immense. There are like different worlds within the festival, like a fairyland, a Chinese themed town and the stone circle, which is where most of the

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ou can always find one that matches your taste, whether it’s V Fest, Glastonbury or Love Box. But behind the wellies, beer tents and phenomenal performances, there are the workers. We talk to Jamie-Lee Tokley, 21, from Hertfordshire, a devoted festival worker to find out if the work is all glitz and glamour or just porta-loos and diva tantrums. She has worked at The Isle Of Wight Festival, Reading, Glasto and V Fest to name a few and says she ‘has loved every minute of it.’ The money isn’t great but the experience is worth so much more than any wage packet. She earns around £50 a festival. She says: ‘It depends on how long you’ve worked at festivals but when you take into consideration all your free food, drink and meeting all the performers and generally having the time of your life, it is so worth it.’ She landed the job through catering company, Moving Feasts, starting as a pot wash. She went on to work higher up in the catering department and now acts as the organiser of her catering division.

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fezzy map REWIND SCOTLAND 29th-31st July Scone Palace, Perth

T IN THE PARK 7th-10th July Kinross-shire

CREAMFIELDS 27th-28th August Halton

STOCKTON WEEKENDER 5th-7th August Stockton-on-Tees LEEDS FESTIVAL 26th-28th August Leeds

OXEGEN 7th-10th July Punchestown, Co. Kildare READING FESTIVAL 26th-28th August Reading

V Festival 19th-21st August Weston Park, Shifnal

BESTIVAL 8th-11th September Newport

T4 on the Beach 10th July Weston-Super-Mare

V Festival 19th-21st August Hylands Park, Chelmsford

GLASTONBURY 22nd-26th June Glastonbury

HARD ROCK CALLING 24th-26th June Hyde Park, London

ISLE OF WIGHT FESTIVAL 9th-12th June Isle of Wight


katyperry

Her California Dreams tour is less a pop concert, more a megawatt jukebox extravaganza. Picture Alice in Wonderland after an explosion in Charlie’s Chocolate Factory, with more costume changes than Mr Benn, and you get a sense of the stage theatrics on offer from our cover star Katy Perry.

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ue to bring her visually kitch, laChapelle-esque, delight to the south coast later this month, we caught up with the 26-year-old to talk glitz, glamour and Gypsy weddings. H: Has life always been so glamorous and cool? KP: “I had two cars repossessed, and I was writing bad cheques, but I gave myself a timeline. I thought, Okay, if I don’t make it by 25, I’m just going to get married and pop out some babies and do some crafts.” H: In the eyes of teenage girls (and boys!) you’re the ultimate pop diva yet reports show you to be a regular girl. How do you see yourself? KP: “It’s important to be relatable and normal. And I think what helps with that, for me, is that I had the rug pulled out from underneath my feet so many times. It was like, ‘Listen up, bitch, you’re not going to get served this on a silver platter—you’ve got to work for it!’ I don’t feel like I can act like an entitled bitch yet! I still have so much to prove.”

DESIGN: MARCUS WORDS: rachel lamb/ FAINT DESIGN: marcus faint

H: Your look changes like the wind, particularly on stage during your latest tour, but how would you describe the Katy Perry look today? KP: “Bettie Page meets Wonder Woman meets Doris Day meets Judy Jetson meets Natalie Wood meets Daphne Guinness meets Chloë Sevigny kind of look.” H: Fans can’t wait to see you on stage in Bournemouth but now you’ve gotten hitched will this be the last tour in favour of babies and domesticated bliss? KP: “I think some people will die on the stage, and I’m not so sure I want to do that. Like, I want to have kids! I’m totally fine with saying that. I think some people are scared because they’re worried it’s going to ruin their career, but I want to live a full life.”

“I love The Only Way is Essex. I don’t H: So when you’re not entertaining thousands of crazed teenage dreamers, what entertains you. I love British TV. I love The Only Way is Essex. I understand what they’re saying KP: don’t understand what they’re saying but it is genius. I think they’re speaking English….awight. My Big fat but it is genius.” Gypsy Wedding……I love that. I’m going to get one of

those f***ing dresses made and wear it on stage – watch out!

I don’t watch CNN anymore……….I’m obsessed with you guys.”

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Then there’s this other show – Morgana. That’s genius too.

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Watson

It’s a new era

A new era has come upon Sherlock and Watson, but what will this new incarnation entail?

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he literary world was sent into frenzy last month when the ConanDoyle estate, along with Orion publishing, announced that a new Sherlock Holmes novel was to be released. The honour has been bestowed upon esteemed screenwriter and crimethriller author Anthony Horowitz. He has been writing stories and TV series’ in this field for many years. He’s picked up several awards for his self-penned TV series Foyle’s War. He’s also written a weighty tome in the form of the Alex Ryder series. Soon set to release the ninth and final book in the series, it’s a sort of James Bond for kids. This series reboot isn’t shocking, given the incredibly successful year that 2010 was for the world famous sleuth. He scored half a billion dollars at the box office with Guy Ritchie and Robert Downey Jr’s take on the classic. The BBC had one of their biggest hits of the year with the Holmes mini-series. It seems only natural for Orion to strike while the iron is hot.


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WORDS: ALI KIRKBY / DESIGN: SCOTT NEWMAN

If people want to read a Holmes story, why not read an original?

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Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

For purists of the original stories this will hardly seem at all news worthy. Since ConanDoyle’s death in 1915, a long line of authors have taken a stab at making their mark on the great detective’s mythology, with varying degrees of success. This is however, the first time the Conan-Doyle estate has openly sanctioned an official new novel. In previous efforts, different authors have put an entirely new spin on Holmes’ character, changing the genre, period settings and so forth. But Horowitz has done his best to allay fears of transforming the character of Holmes. He said; “My Holmes is going to be exactly the Holmes of the novels without any new information on my part, I don’t want to take any liberties with this great iconic figure.” The main difference to the original stories will be the crime itself. He said; “What I think is different in my book is the nature of the crime, the world in which he gets involved. “I do have a certain reservation about reinventions of old famous books which sometimes have a smack of desperation about them. “Some work better than others and Holmes struck

me as being right for this sort of reinvention.” Horowitz, according to experts & fans has the intelligence and integrity to keep the original spirit unchanged, a fact which could soften the inevitable cries of purist hatred when the book is published.

Horowitz has proven himself time and again as a great writer of detective stories They Conan-Doyle estate did also commission a series of novels about Holmes’ early years. These were written by friend and colleague of Horowitz, Andy Lane. He seems confident that Horowitz will be able to deliver the goods with this new series. He said “My feelings on Anthony Horowitz writing a new Sherlock Holmes novel are a queasy mixture of happiness that such a talented writer is going to have a crack at it, and professional jealousy that he got the gig and I didn’t. I’m positive he’ll be able to do the series justice -- he can handle characterisation, action and description with equal deftness (the swine) and I’m sure that’s why the Estate chose him.”

Holmes isn’t the only iconic crime-fighter to be receiving a 21st century rebirth. A new James Bond novel has also been commissioned by the Ian Fleming-Estate. In the era that brought Jason Bourne to the forefront of secret agent heroism, Bond needed to be resurrected so as not to look like an ageing PC Plod type. So now the story has been brought to a contemporary setting with modern gadgetry and political motivations. Thus crafting an approach that will horrify the fans as much as it will excite. There hasn’t exactly been a critical backlash against the project, however, there hasn’t been an eruption of excitement either. The Observer’s book editor William Skidelsky has already voiced his hesitance of the idea of a new novel being published. He said “It devalues the original work because it sends out the signal that any current, talented author can write the same works that the dead author wrote. When in fact literature is such an individual, personal thing, and unique thing that it’s really not like that.” Writer Ian Dickerson says; “Horowitz has proven himself time and again as a great writer of detective stories and you’ve only got to look at his creation of Foyle’s War to know that he can write in period very well. I’m sure he will do Holmes and Watson justice.”


Left:The Original writer, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Right: New writer of the Shgerlock Holmes

originals? Avid fan Jamie Donnelly thinks; “Horowitz can do darkness and horror which is a good start for a Sherlock Holmes novel, but I don’t know if he will be able to carry off the same attention to detail that Doyle wove into his stories. But then that might be a good thing, a fresh look at Sherlock Holmes would probably be better than Horowitz trying to exactly the same as Doyle and it ending up like a failed ghost writing experiment. “He could even be really brave and set it in the modern era, like the BBC series. Whatever he does it probably won’t be as good as Doyle’s stuff, but I will still read it anyway. good thing, a fresh look at Sherlock Holmes would probably be better than Horowitz trying to do exactly the same as Doyle and it ending up like a failed ghost writing experiment. He could even be really brave and set it in the modern era, like the BBC series. Whatever he does it probably won’t be as good as Doyle’s stuff, but I will still read it anyway. Is that to your standards? Emotion isn’t my strong point good thing,

a fresh look at Sherlock Holmes would probably be better than Horowitz trying to do exactly the same as Doyle and it ending up like a failed ghost writing experiment. He could even be really brave and set it in the modern era, like the BBC series. Whatever he does it probably won’t be as good as Doyle’s stuff, but I will still read it anyway. Is that to your standards? Emotion isn’t my stro” Uber fan Pete Johnson of Alabama USA thinks, “Talented writer but you can’t recreate Holmes!” While it may not be as eloquent as the arguments for, perhaps that is all that needs to be said. There is very little argument that the Holmes novels are anything short of a masterpiece. Continuing without Doyle is a risky proposition. But you know the old saying, ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained.’ The gravy train of artistic reinvention is showing no signs of stopping or slowing down. So will we sit and curse on our blogs and internet comment sections? Or will we take the wins as and when they come? We just have to wait until September to find out which this will be. Exciting times are ahead for the Holmes franchise.

contributors

very well. I’m sure he will do Holmes and Watson justice.” He went on to say, “I am biased when it comes to continuing an author’s work. It very much depends on the author who’s doing the writing; if they can match the style of writing and story-telling then there’s no reason why it won’t enhance the legacy. But you have to pick your writers carefully. One only has to look at the wildly varying quality of James Bond continuations to see that. Generally a good story and a good story-teller will always be popular. Match that with some great characters--like Holmes and Watson-and you’re in for a treat.” The fan consensus on this potentially new series is, as always highly divided. If you were to look upon any blog, social network thread or message board you would be bombarded with arguments for and against this contemporary update of such an iconic character. Some see it as a fantastic opportunity for newbie’s to get excited about the subject again. Others see it as sacrilege. Their argument is; If people want to read a Holmes story, why not just read one of the

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9

FLOATING ON CLOUD C

urly haired teenagers wearing tasteless jumpers and oversized flares used to cram around gargantuan television screens to gawk in amazement of the gaming spectacle known as Pong. Essentially, Pong consisted of two crudely replicated lines moving up and down a screen to hit a ball back and forth. This was 20 years ago. Entertainment and technology have come on a long way. Gone are the days of balancing an aerial on your TV to get a decent picture, we now live in the super of age of 3D and Blu-Ray pomposity. Behind every technical marvel is a more serious picture. One of business and big bucks. Fat cats piling their fortunes into creating the latest noise making, touch feeling and pound making gadgets. The dominant tour de force in today’s world is computers. Computers have changed mankind indefinitely and have altered the way we go about our daily lives. Fortunes are made over night and legends are created i.e. Mark Zuckerberg, the creator of Facebook, whose story was just depicted

in the Hollywood Hit The Social Network. Facebook brings us to the most important functions of the computer, the Internet. The internet has blown up into the stratosphere and created a new world for people to explore. It has also given any chance the opportunity to make their internet fortune and has become an essential tool for any successful business. Progression has seen computers and the internet become our main tool and weapon, much like the caveman’s spear. The main aim in the computer industry is to predict the next big step forward in its development and to create the next big online craze or application. Currently, the next big advancement is thought to be Cloud Computing. But what is Cloud Computing? You may actually already be nestling on the cloud without even knowing it. Cloud Computing has revolutionised the way computers are used, particularly in the business sector. In an IT nutshell cloud computing has seen the removal of computer hardware and a stronger focus on software.


WORDS: THOMAS WHITEHEAD / DESIGN: DANIEL POOLE

of a hard drive. Many a person have spent countless lost Sundays compiling a collection of music spanning from Marvin Gaye to the Bee Gee’s only to have lost it to that all too familiar, computer breakdown. This results in the air turning a dark blue followed by a cracked pc screen. With cloud computing the files you have don’t exist on your hard drive and are actually the responsibility of the site you bought them from i.e. I Tunes or Spotify. This eases the stress of possibly loosing your favourite B*Witched albums. Large companies can also benefit greatly from cloud computing particularly ones that have offices spread round the world. They can hit difficulty because their different offices use different programs. For example, to access something simple like email a company may have 40 different applications to do this, spread throughout its various offices. Cloud Computing puts an end to such complications and this is known as Centralisation. As well as time and effort, centralisation also saves money. Reduced electricity costs of running huge computer servers and also the space saved can reduce the office space a business needs to acquire. Saving time and effort, the Cloud surely seems like an irresistible way to fulfil your IT needs. But Cloud Computing has also had many critics and as with any IT adventure it is not all plain sailing. One of the main issues arising is that of privacy. The problem stems from the power of control which the company controlling the cloud system has. This is met with scepticism as a high level of trust is needed. Furthermore is the issue of security which has no doubt held up the progress of cloud computing. The private and public sector have both been nervy of the external management of security based services. Great time and man hours have been poured into “cloud security”. Cloud security’s sole aim is to protect data, applications and the associated infrastructure of cloud computing.

contributors

This means a company no longer needs to have an on-site collection of power house computers running their IT needs. Instead they use online applications and an outside data centre holds the massive computer hardware for them. Grant Tanner works for Star Internet who are one of the companies hosting large data centres for a host of businesses and he explains what cloud computing can do for the business world. Grant says: “Star provides on-demand IT and communication services for UK businesses by utilising Cloud Computing. They promise improvement on service levels, business agility, financial predictability and a reduction in your costs”. Star Internet has seen themselves steadily grow in the industry since their 1995 inception. They are currently taking care of 3,500 UK businesses and 500,000 end users. Star internet has a technology roadmap which provides ondemand cloud computing for any UK business which needs immediate access to the very latest enterprise-grade technologies. Whilst the IT industry is fully aware of the scope and capability of cloud computing some people may still not wholly understand it or perhaps even heard of it. There are however examples of cloud computing right before your very eyes, iTunes, flickr, Hotmail and Facebook are all examples of cloud computing in full effect. Some of the major cloud providers are Microsoft, Google and Amazon with other companies like Fujitsu and IBM also involved. So applications that use cloud computing are not solely for the IT experts. The cloud can facilitate basic requirements like file sharing and e-mail access. One of the most appealing aspects of the cloud is the lack

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Star Internet is one of the companies who are taking data issues extremely serious and Grant assures the business world, “The security of our customer’s data is central to everything we do”. If the issues of security and privacy are laid to rest then it is also important to take warning from other fallen projects and inventions of the technology industry. Over played marketing can often see investors putting money into schemes which are running before they can even muster a slow walk. One of the best examples of hype and marketing within the IT sector was seen with the 2000 dot com bubble. Huge investments were made into dot com businesses by companies and massive market promises of future business profits encouraged stock prices to grow. This bubble eventually burst in early 2000 due to the lack of actual profit being made and we saw the collapse of many of these dot com businesses. During this bubble the NASDAQ-Composite lost 80% of its value. This is a stark warning to the cloud computing industry towards the danger of investing into an ultimately unprofitable venture. Having taken into account all the negative elements of the cloud the sheer possibilities drag back at the indecision strings. Macnamara is a small but well established London IT firm and are another company involved in the cloud computing industry, they have a balanced view on cloud computing. Jack Jones, an employee of Macnamara voices his views. “Like most things, it has its pros and it has its cons. Depending on what you need it for and whether the pros outweigh the cons in your opinion or vice versa, could mean that it’s a brilliant thing. Some companies will like the idea of having off site server hosting and not having the environmental strain, space, man power as it’s less for them to worry about”. The cynics will voice their opinions and the dot com bubble crash provides warning signs but it seems with cloud computing that the positives do actually outweigh the negatives. The amount of commitment from within the IT sector can only fair well for the future of cloud technology but every footstep forward is taken with intrepidation as previous failings in other IT adventures offer glaring warnings to future plans.


We fought to

keep

my Nan out of care

University student Charlotte Olver tells the amazing story of how her family fought to keep her Nan out of a care home.

because she wasn’t properly checked over” explains Charlotte. “It wasn’t an obvious break, and it wasn’t until she had an x-ray two days later, in agony, that we the seriousness of her fall was realised.” Doris was then rushed into surgery to have a hip replacement. “Nan didn’t know what was going on,” Charlotte continues, “when I spoke to her after the operation, she had no idea it had been for.” Doris recovered well but was in hospital for a further three months. Yet when she was ready to go home, Doris was told she wasn’t allowed for her own safety. “They told us she’d have to live in a care home now, but we knew Nan could cope just fine” Charlotte explains. “If anything, she was even more mobile after her hip replacement! Nan was really scared at the idea of being in a home, so we took our case to the courts system.” The Olver family won their case and Doris is currently living with her daughter, 59-yearold Marilyn in Newton Abbott, and is set to return to her own home in the next few months.

Doris required regular visits from a carer to help her with menial tasks such as loading the washing machine know that she has a family who love her “When I left she had a big, appreciative smile on her face but was in much need of a rest. To be honest, I think she was still a little shaken from the fall, although she’d never show it, she’s such a proud woman.” But that night, Doris awoke with a sudden and desperate urge to use the toilet. After pressing her buzzer numerous times, it seems a nurse didn’t come to her assistance and so Doris attempted to get out of bed herself. “She tripped and fell over her IV drip and broke her hip, but we didn’t know that at first

WORDS: KELLY WoOLFORD / DESIGN: MARCUS FAINT

Doris travelled to Teignmouth hospital, where her doctor gave her the all-clear. She was told he wanted to keep her in overnight, to monitor her fluid levels, so she was put on an IV drip and settled for the night. “I visited her during the day and she was her usual chirpy self ” Charlotte says. “I think we exhasted her. I suppose we were trying to make a fuss over her because we wanted her to

contributors

D

oris Jones lived in the quiet seaside town of Teignmouth in Devon. She had lived on her own for seven years after her husband died of cancer in 2002. Even at the tender age of 77 she was more than capable, and continued to live alone un-aided, until she suffered a stroke in 2008. “It was scary when she had a stroke, as you can imagine,” explains 20-year-old Charlotte, “I was worried my Nan would want it to be her time. But she recovered well and we were delighted with the news that she could go back home.” Doris required regular visits from a carer to help her with menial tasks such as loading the washing machine and cooking, but things pretty much went back to the way they were before. Until one day, when Doris tripped over a corner of her rug. “Her carer, Jane, arrived as normal at ten o’clock to find Nan nursing a bruised leg,” Charlotte continues, “Jane said she would have to go to hospital for a routine check up due to health and safety laws. We all agreed that would be for the best, I think I was still a little worried for my Nan after her stroke two years before.”

Charlotte Olver

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“We’re all really happy that Nan was able to stay at home, we are always here to look after her” Charlotte tells. “She is so much happier there, and is well and truly back to her usual chirpy self.” Dr Holly Boulton from the Department of Clinical Health Psychology in St. Mary’s Hospital, London, says: “The emotional strain of caring for a parent is tremendous, the carer can feel very isolated. It can strain their marriage and relationships with friends or other family members. Seeking counsel from a support group is advised, as they offer knowledge and stress relief, as well as a social

meet which will help ease feelings of isolation. There are hundreds of support groups available for carers in the UK, most of which have websites with advice and discussions, so even if going to a meeting seems too daunting, there is support for them. “Adult children are confronted with emotions from the past, which are compounded by issues in the present” she continues. “It is important that the child take care of their own physical well-being, as often, this is sacrificed to ensure the parent’s needs are met.” This is certainly the case for 53-year-old Mary Chamberlain from St. Albans, who cared for her father with dementia and explains how she got to the point where she just couldn’t

I know my father will live

the rest of his days as a happy man.

cope. Doris is lucky that her daughter can spare her time and has the patience to look after her, as this just wasn’t possible for Mary and her 87-year-old father Arthur Johnson. “At first I thought I could handle it,” Mary begins, “even when my father’s condition deteriorated and a nurse told me he’d need round-the-clock care. He moved in with me in February last year, and a nurse would come to our house and look after him during the day – she was a blessing – and then I would care for him when I got home from work. “My husband passed away a few years ago, so I was pretty much on my own. At first it was nice to have the company, but soon it got too much to handle.” Mary explains how she couldn’t sleep at night, and how she became frightened that her father would injure himself when he was supposed to be under her supervision. “He would refuse to take his medication, so everyday was a battle to get him to take his pills” Mary explains. “It is really frustrating caring for someone with dementia, and takes a lot of patience. Only when you have an experience like mine do you realise just how incredible nursing staff are.” Arthur continued living with his daughter for four months, during which time she became exhausted. Mary began to lose concentration at work, and was prescribed anti-depressants by her GP. “Some days were harder than others” she continues. “When my dad was still of fairly sound mind, I had to sit him down and talk to him about his deteriorating hand-eye co-

ordination. It wasn’t safe for him to drive anymore – I was scared he would hurt himself or someone else for that matter. “He agreed that he shouldn’t get behind the wheel of a car again, but I took his keys as a precaution. I couldn’t be sure if he’d remember our conversation a few days down the line. I was right to do so because he managed to find a spare set of car keys from somewhere and drove to the grocery store the next day. He nearly crashed.” Although it would seem as though Arthur’s actions deliberately went against Mary’s request, it was the dementia that caused such bad judgment. “You have to take a step back from the situation,” Mary reasons, “because his bad judgment and lack of reasoning is down to the dementia, not him. But that day scared the life out of me, I felt like I’d failed him and wasn’t fit to look after him.” Mary sought advice from a local dementia caregiver’s support group, which proved very helpful. “Suddenly I didn’t feel so alone. I was talking to other people in similar situations to me, and was getting tips and advice on how to cope. Just being there and talking about these things was a huge stress reliever, and things started to look up for a while.” Mary was advised that engaging in activities with her father would help his condition, and would decrease her stress levels. She began taking him to the park in his wheelchair and to coffee mornings arranged by the support group. At these meetings, it gave the dementia sufferers a chance to meet each other and interact, and there would always be some kind of activity to keep spirits high. But in June this year, Arthur’s condition worsened, and Mary took counsel in the support group, who told her that putting her father into a care home might be the best solution. “At first I felt sick at the idea” Mary confides. “I couldn’t put him into a care home, I felt like that would be betraying him. He looked after me when I was little, I couldn’t abandon him when it was my turn.” However, Arthur’s condition had spiraled out of control and in July last year he moved into Verulam House Nursing and Residential Home. “I visit my dad twice a week,” Mary tells, “and although I still feel guilty for him being there, I know it’s the best place for him to be. The nursing staff are really friendly, and it’s a beautiful house, I know my father will live the rest of his days as a happy man.”


The volunteer Effort

the Childreach International charity. It was with this charity in mind, which gave her the determination to climb the mountain within four days. In order for Rachel to reach the top, it was essential to acclimatise to the surroundings, which meant walking up a certain height and then back down again to adjust to the altitude. The first few days took a while to adjust, and Rachel found herself suffering from severe altitude sickness, “Our heart rate would get checked every night, which made everyone

One day, she visited a hospital to see how the patients were treated, which is an experience she never wants to see again

extremely nervous. If it was too high, it was likely you wouldn’t make it through the night”. The nights were the hardest, as temperatures would reach –20c, “I would be wearing eight layers going to bed, with two sleeping bags, two hat and two gloves”. However, even that didn’t stop her from feeling as though her toes were about to drop off, she just prayed she wouldn’t need the toilet during the night. The final day was Rachel’s idea of hell. They began the walk at 12pm, and she was sick the entire way. Although, when she reached the top of the mountain the relief and anguish finally kicked in, with floods of tears, “The feeling once I reached the top was incredible, all my hard work and determination had paid off. The only problem was getting back down the mountain”. Once Rachel got down from the mountain, there was no rest for the wicked as she was about to encounter life as a volunteer. When Rachel arrived in Tanzania, she was taken to an underprivileged school, whereby she would teach and play with the children. She was also introduced to hard labour, as she had to paint and build schools. In order to create the cement, Rachel would have to go on long trecks to fetch water from the fountain, which was a mile away. Although she was enjoying her time as a volunteer, she could not help but notice the terrible teaching, “the teachers didn’t seem as though they cared, one teacher had his phone out listening to Akon, whilst I teached the class”. Rachel would teach the children basic Maths and English skills, as well

contributors

T

he idea of the perfect summer holiday, would for some be strolling on hot sandy beaches admiring the sea. Not for Rachel, 21, her idea of a perfect getaway is climbing Mount kilimanjaro and doing volunteer work in Tanzania. To climb Mount Kilimanjaro you have to have months of training, and a good mind set, to prepare you for the high altitude and desolate surroundings. This is why having a purpose in mind can often strive people to reach the top. Rachel Boyle, climbed Mount Kilimanjaro for

WORDS: EMMA SMITH / DESIGN: SCOTT NEWMAN

Everyone wants the perfect job or career, but sometimes it’s the unexpected jobs that touch your heart

p31


as games such as, “heads, shoulders, knees and toes”. However, the children seemed to associate her as having a lot of money, one boy even said, “white girl, money please”, which was disheartening given the hard work she was contributing. It seemed as though the teachers had taught the children that English people were rich. They would often flirt and wink at her, one man even said, “I would marry you to get into England”. Implying, that would be the necessary route to take to escape Tanzania. One day, she visited a hospital to see how the patients were treated, which is an experience she never wants to see again, “The hospitals were very over crowded, so much so that one woman had to give birth on the floor”. The conditions seemed acceptable, but it was easy to understand how people caught infections and illnesses. The overall experience taught Rachel that determination and perseverance can get you places in life, given the fact she raised £2,300 for the Childreach International charity. Her next step will be to travel to India, and work with underprivileged children in the slums.


map of exotic and unusual places to volunteer Volunteers for Peace in Northern Ireland: Environmental, Peace and Children’s Projects

Organizing Leisure Activities for Handicapped People in France

Turtle Conservation Program in Greece

Help in the organization and running of the Festambiente festival North-East of Italy

WORDS: EMMA SMITH / DESIGN: SCOTT NEWMAN / GRAPHIC: MARCUS FAINT

Live With a Family in Istanbul and Teach Them English

Care Work with Children in China

Nursing and Midwifery in Bolivia

Equine Therapy in Argentina with Projects Abroad

Sri Lanka Wildlife Conservation Society http://tinyurl.com/6xz3o2n Equine Therapy in Argentina with Projects Abroad http://tinyurl.com/5w3qnxj Nursing and Midwifery in Bolivia with Projects Abroad http://tinyurl.com/65o6na2 Coaching Sports in Brazil http://tinyurl.com/6847gmd Physical Therapy in Cambodia

Sri Lanka Wildlife Conversation Society Teach IT in South Africa Orphanage Volunteer Programs in India: New Delhi, Kolkata, Bangalore

http://tinyurl.com/67q5pmh Care Work with Children in China http://tinyurl.com/62czpwd HIV/AIDS Work in Nepal http://tinyurl.com/69jdnkz Teach IT in South Africa http://tinyurl.com/6a6hh4g Orphanage Volunteer Programs in India http://tinyurl.com/6g9p9hq Turtle Conservation Program in Greece http://tinyurl.com/5vn2h9l

HIV/AIDS Work in Nepal

Physical Therapy in Cambodia

Volunteers for Peace in Northern Ireland http://www.vfp.org/ Live With a Family in Istanbul and Teach Them English http://tinyurl.com/69dtbkk Help organise and run of the Festambiente Festival North-East of Italy http://www.cadip.org/ Organizing Leisure Activities for Handicapped People in France http://www.cadip.org/

contributors

Coaching Sports in Brazil

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W

sporting view

hen you meet someone like Reuben Agboola, you do not only meet a former professional footballer - you meet a man. But who, really, is this man? Many people may have seen him playing football on a Saturday afternoon in the late 80’s and early 90’s, but what is he truly like? I sit alone in a quiet corner of the pub, pondering these very questions,- as a guy at the opposite end of the room asks his wife if she wants one more for the road. Other than that I am kept company solely by my own thoughts. My nerves are on edge, as I keep replaying a question that was asked of me earlier in the afternoon - “what on earth are you going to say?” I know that, in this tranquil room, and in just a few moments time, one of my own defensive idols as a child is about to walk through the door, and still that question haunts my thoughts - what on earth are you going to say? Then it happens - the man himself walks in, strides straight over to my table and with a big smile and friendly eyes shakes my hand, and humbly introduces himself. As if Reuben Agboola really needs to introduce himself! He played over 250 firstclass games in his career, is a cult hero at both Southampton and Sunderland, and while at the former helped his side to the runners-up spot in the 1983-84 Division 1 - Saints’ highest ever final league position. He also featured nine times for Nigeria,

including seven appearances in the 1992 African Cup of Nations, where his country finished 3rd. But his native country almost remained Agboola-less permanently following some trouble getting into the country before his first cap. “I didn’t even have a Visa, because things were rushed so much,” recalls the 47-year-old. “We were at the check-in queue at Heathrow, and they wouldn’t even give me a boarding card because I didn’t have a visa. “I was with a friend from the Nigerian FA he was about 7ft, and dripping in Armani! “He basically asked for the names of the staff at the check-in, because he wouldn’t take the rap if one of the president’s Super Eagles players wasn’t allowed into the country. We managed to get our boarding cards in the end!” However, this wasn’t quite the end of the fun and games for the soon-to-be International footballer. Having made it out of England, Agboola was met with another obstacle in Nigeria. “At the Nigerian airport they were all looking through my English passport to try and find my visa!” The rest, as they say, is history, and Agboola made it to the squad in good time - almost. “I didn’t realise until later the rest of the guys had been waiting for my arrival so we could go and play a practice match.” That “practice” match was against the local Lagos team at the national stadium, just two days before a competitive first team international. “We were told we wouldn’t be

needing shin pads. I got a massive gash down the front of my leg when one of their players came in with a tackle from the top. “Their captain got sent off, and we lost 1-0. I remember thinking, wow, I can’t wait for Saturday! “As it turns out though, the locals were better than the team we ended up playing that weekend - we won that one 5-0!” Agboola, who did some coaching throughout his later career, retired from professional football following a brief spell with Swansea in 1992, though he did later turn out for Woking. He became landlord of the “Sporting View” bar at the Southampton Sports Center, before relocating to Majorca, running a bar for a year. He later returned to the south coast, where he currently works for a car company in Southampton. “I evaluate whatever turns up, and get to rip it to bits. The log books are the worst part we can’t sell the cars without them! “Everything is computerized these days, which is meant to be idiot-proof, but it is really not - my boss manages to get it wrong all the time. “It’s OK though, because it means I can get away with blaming him for just about anything!” When he is not at work, Reuben is a keen golfer - as evidenced by the clubs present behind his desk in his office. “I never go too far without my clubs, just in case I need to make a quick getaway!” he laughs.


contributors

p35

DESIGN: MARCUS FAINT


THE

S

It's a cold Sunday morning, the wind ripples the shirts of 22 fired up footballers, the referee’s whistle blows. What happens when the ‘the beautiful game,’ becomes a survival ground??

S

unday league football is very rarely publicised and when it is, the stories are brief. When a tackle becomes assault, should we take a closer look? Charlie Knight, 21, was a victim of the leagues brutal nature when after just 20 minutes he saw his professional ambitions crushed. He described the moment: “I toe poked the ball to my teammate and this lad stamped on my standing right ankle, breaking the bone, he pushed off on it causing the lower and middle part of my leg to break under the pressure, I went straight into shock.” With ringing in his ears and blurred vision Charlie’s new football boot had to be cut off along with his socks. His teammates confronted the opposing player who was known as ‘The Destroyer.’ Charlie continued: “I was obviously crying and gutted, I knew I was out for a long time. He

didn’t even get a booking. My manager told me the same guy had injured my teammates cruciate ligament.” “I was swearing at him over and over, I was shouting at him that I was going to kill him, I even got my boot and threw it at him.”Charlie had been spotted by Conference Premier League side Salisbury and had been called up to the squad. He said: “I was told before the game that the first team manager of Salisbury wanted me to play for them and I was only 16, which would of made me the youngest in Salisbury’s history to play for them, that was hard to take.” As he was rushed to hospital

Beau t i f u l G a m e

TATE OF A


The referee didn’t take any action, not even a free kick was awarded,. percent.” Mike underwent surgery to reconstruct and stabalise his Anterior Cruciate Ligament. He said: “They took muscle from my thigh to strengthen the ligament, then pins were inserted to keep it stable.” Currently managing his team, Mike is 9 months away from playing football again. Getting through the hardest physical part of his recovery, it’s becoming more psychological. He said: “Mentally, I will take a few more years to fully recover. When I go in for a tackle I will be scared of what might happen, it will completely change the way I play. I’ve obviously been in a lot of physical pain but it’s mental as well. I get so frustrated having to watch and hear about people playing, but there’s nothing I can do.” Whilst the views of players vary, referees at this level seem to maintain a similar opinion. Referee John Thompson said: “Look, were not playing at a professional level, I don’t make

decisions that will ruin the game; it gets us refs a lot of abuse. You get more abuse for sending someone off, so it’s best to just let it go.” However studies in France revealed that players cause 90 percent of physical and verbal abuse. A ruling was also passed in 2006 that made attacking a referee the equivalent to attacking a police officer. The same rules have not been made in the UK. There is violence in amateur football all over the world. Due to the professional game overshadowing grass roots football, solutions made at the highest level don’t take effect in all standards of the game. In the Premiership, there have been many cases of players being sent off for a late, high-footed tackle. This is considered standard in Sunday League football. This raises the question of why the same rules do not apply at every level. There have already been 48 red cards and 748 yellow cards (an average of 26 yellow cards per team) in the first half of the Premiership season. In amateur football the figures are very different. Each team averages 11 yellow cards and 1 red in the Sunday District League in a season. These statistics raise the question of discipline in the league and show part of the reason why the game is so aggressive at this standard. The hard-hitting challenges affect players in different ways. Whether it’s a long lay off, or a bruise the next day. It becomes hard for players to turn up and play every week. The majority recover and go back to playing football. It isn’t the same though for all players with age playing a huge part. With experience in the game it is still hard for players to adapt the changes in the game. John Turnbull, 38, said: “I’ve been playing on Sundays for over 20 years, but my experience doesn’t count for a lot now. I’ve had three serious injuries and my body just can’t take it anymore.” “I’ve had concussion several times, a broken ankle and the last injury was torn ankle ligaments and cartilage, the same one I broke” After surgery repaired the damage, John had a 7 seven month wait before he was

WORDS: JACK WHITLOCK / DESIGN: SCOTT NEWMAN

pre-season friendly. He said: “The guy came in at knee height, my leg was on the ball, I felt my leg bend and my knee just popped, I thought it was broken.” “The referee didn’t take any action, not even a free kick was awarded, and he adjudged it to be 50/50.” Ligament damage can take four times longer than bone to recover. Sports injury specialist Dr. James Calder commented: “With bone, its solid and is set when it heals, ligaments have to be reformed and take a lot more time to regain their strength.” “Another part of ligament damage is the long term affect, often they never fully heal. Normally patients are given a percentage and it’s rarely 100

contributors

and taken for an X-Ray, Charlie wasn’t the only one who was devastated. He said: My dad couldn’t deal with it and left, that made it even harder to deal with.”Two operations and five screws later Charlie’s dad told him how it was all paid for. His older brother was preparing to go to University but his parents had to use money they had saved up to pay for Charlie’s operations. He said: “Technically it was his money as it was the rent money he was paying my parents, that wasn’t nice to hear!” To this day, Charlie wonders what could have been and struggles with a lot of injuries because of what happened. His drive for football has been damaged along with his motivation and confidence. He commented: “When I see Wade Elliot of Burnley for example, being a success from non league, I always wonder if that could have been me.” With a rapid decline in many areas of Sunday League football, there are very few solutions being created. The ‘Respect the Ref,’ campaign was launched in 2008 when statistics revealed, that on average, 7,000 referee’s quit football every year. Debate is still being raised about whether or not it is working. Not only referees are quitting the game. In the last four years 2,728 Sunday teams have dropped out of the league. Darren Parker of the Hampshire FA commented: “Often teams can’t get a team together every week, this makes it impossible for them to carry on in the league.” Reasons behind the lack of players aren’t clear but injuries are considered to be one of them. After providing 100 players with a questionnaire, it was found that 34 of them had been injured by a bad challenge. Adding to this, the average time spent recovering was 3 to 4 months, half of the Sunday League football season. Mike Sadler, 21, has been recovering for over a year. He said: “I won’t be back playing until August, by then it would have been just over 2 years since the injury.” Mike had his cruciate knee ligament ruptured and bent from a tackle in a

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With experience in the game it is still hard for players to adapt the changes in the game. fit to play again. But when the time came, his ankle couldn’t cope. He said: “I did everything right in my recovery but you can’t prepare for football. The pain was too much; it felt weak, stiff and swelled up when I tried playing.” After several attempts to recover, John finally retired. He said: “It was frustrating because the drive was still there, but it was out of my control. I would of played until I was 50 if I could. I’ve had a lot of injuries but it was by far the worse. At my age it makes it even harder to recover.” “I want to be involved in football but it’s hard watching from the sidelines, you can’t get involved and change the game.” With many older players in the league, their experience can help them deal with common problems. When a teenager stops playing boys football at the age of 16 they only have two options. They make the step up to men’s football for either a Saturday or Sunday team. The standard of Saturday football is high. For less serious, or less talented players, Sunday football is the only option. The brutal nature of the league can cause players to quit the game at a young age.

The transition can be difficult as Logan Fielder, 16, explains: “The first time I played I came on as a sub, it was quite scary, being the youngest and not the biggest didn’t help.” “Within a few minutes I had my legs swept from underneath me but play went on. I didn’t enjoy one minute of it, it was horrible and I haven’t played since.” The facts and figures do not bring enough attention to what is happening in Sunday League football. If this were not the case, more solutions would be created to solve many of the problems. There are previous stories of assault and even murder at games. The main focus is understandably on professional football, where violent situations do not often occur. When they do they are immediately dealt with in a serious and effective way. For example, banning those involved as well as fines. Should this apply at all levels? Sunday League football isn’t focused on. There is enough evidence to grab the attention of associations who can make a difference. However with a lack of discipline, teams and referees dropping out, with few solutions provided. It’s hard to see the state of the game improving.


WORDS: STEPHANIE GHATTA / DESIGN: SUNIDA WEBB

enerife

contributors

A country full of entertainment and summer sun, the perfect location for holiday makers?

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R

enowned for its pale, working class visitors and teenage binge-drinkers, Tenerife hardly holds a reputable place in the nicest-places-toholiday chart. But has this Canary Island’s bad reputation been blown out of proportion? This volcanic island is over-run with British tourists and retired couples with burnt leathery skin. In season the resorts are swamped with British families and adolescents running riot. As a child I was a quarter of one of those young British families enjoying their holiday in the sun. I remember the volcanic sand being as dark as ash, the sea being a fresh turquoise blue and the tiled floors around the pool hot enough to fry an egg on. We went on dolphin trips and visited the markets in search of the finest (fake) Chanel handbags. Town centres were built up but surrounding areas were nothing more than barren, rubbish-filled, wastelands. On my most recent visit to the island,

however, much has changed. The same tourist booths selling jet ski rides, day trips to Mount Teide and trips to other Canary Islands still stand proud, as do the hundreds of restaurants and “Irish” pubs that the British flock to like wilder beasts to a watering-hole, yet it seems a lot of money has been ploughed into the surroundings in recent years. Now flower beds and artistically placed stones circle planted palm trees, whilst areas of waste land have now been shingled and decorated with shrubbery. I also noticed the amount of Mediterranean-looking builds has quadrupled in Torviscas; more holiday apartments for future timeshare buyers to enjoy their family holidays or retirement in. It is a sad reality for the once very Spanish Canary Island but a necessary development to keep Tenerife attracting the tourists and their Euros. The grimmest part to Tenerife is now the party streets of Veronicas strip where teenage lager louts ogle at perfectly tanned pins and

the young, free and single drink themselves into a stupor. Although Playa Las Americas resembles an Essex high street after last orders, walk a hundred yards away and you’ll find a chilled out beach front; scattered with cocktail bars, restaurants and small bistro’s which bring a classic Mediterranean antidote to the chav-tastic party zones. Puerto Colon is another favourite, perfect for couples and families looking for an evening feast and some entertainment. It is a fairly small port and bay, only a short stroll from Playa Fanabe, which consists of restaurants and sheesha bars. Owners compete for custom from care-free sun seekers as they meander along the bay front – if nothing tickles your fancy in Puerto Colon, Playa Fanabe is less than a 3 minute walk and is also worth looking around as many restaurants and shops also stand there just off the beach. Tenerife is sometimes dismissed for its appallingly long list of cheap entertainment

Surrounding areas were eye sores with barren land, floating rubbish and dains pipes


TIPS Watch Out For When buying trips around the island, be sure to question whether they are official. The best way to insure you won’t be robbed blind by these phony tourist boards is to use the ones run from your hotel complex.

Santa Cruz Carnival have to book in advance for this restaurant especially in peak season but the food is well worth it. If this place doesn’t tickle your fancy you could try eating in an old Monastery. Near Puerto de la Cruz this once sacred restaurant is more of a small village than a modest restaurant. It became an eatery in the1980’s and specialises in Spanish dishes including roast suckling pig and Canarian potatoes. If you are seeking a more scenic side of the island there is the soaring Mount Teide to visit. The 3,718 meters high mountain is a National Park home to unspoiled volcanic rock formations as well as endangered species of wildflowers. This gigantic mountain can be seen from nearly anywhere on the island and is responsible for the dark sand which consequently came from volcanic rock. The drive up to the mountain boasts gorgeous views of the entire Island and once you’ve reached the top magnificent scenery alike to American canyon landscape can be enjoyed. So next time your booking your summer holiday, don’t palm off the idea of a week in Tenerife. After all it is affordable, hot and it does have countless shows, towns, clubs, water parks and beaches to keep you fully occupied throughout your relaxing stay. Love it or hate it, this Canary Island definitely has something that thousands of British holidaymakers are looking for all year round.

Enjoy the colours, bands, dancing and cabalgatas – or parades to you and I that continue along the streets of Santa Cruz long into the night. This carnival is the biggest on the island and fun for all. An election of the 3rd age Queen will be one of many acts to entertain and involve the crowds.

Be Careful...

Not many people can resist the cheap technical equipment when on holiday. Snapping away at the children having fun in the sun is a must, but be very careful when thinking of purchasing cameras. If it seems too good to be true it probably is. Stand your ground with the sales assistants as they may try to sell you something you don’t want for triple the money – you’re only an easy target if you let them talk you round.

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contributors

but I think I may have found a night fit for a king; one of the islands finest shows, The Medieval Night in San Miguel. Think of a castle, knights in shining armour, good food and great service. Fantastic, mindless fun for the kids, both young and old. You get given a coloured bib (yes, like the ones from P.E lessons at school) and that is the colour knight you must support – the louder you cheer the more your knight fights. With a robust crowd an electric atmosphere and original performance is guaranteed. So what else is there other than silver knights, sun, sand, sea and shopping to keep holidaymakers occupied during the day? A visit to the island’s newest, most spectacular water park, Siam Park has to be on tourist’s lists of things to do. Dare yourself to plummet down The Tower of Power slide, coax your friends onto The Dragon and jump into Wave Palace, an artificial beach where waves up to 3 metres high come crashing down upon you. The kiddie’s area is full of water madness and the lazy river is the biggest in Europe. If you still are not convinced that this would be an enjoyable holiday - maybe the lack of culture and history leaves you somewhat uninspired? There are plenty of small places that offer more traditional Canary Island food. The La Hierbita is a lovely canarian restaurant situated in Santa Cruz’s old quarter. You

February 15th to March 13th


S P I T OP ING

TTO BOSOESXT LIFE R U YO

y weekl , y l i a g it d for a little n i t t e g m u are always roo interesting o y r e Wheth hly there is ings a little ’s top tips: th e nt or mo on making Here’s Hyp e ts. advic n the shee e betwe

GET FRESH Suck an after-dinner mint and wait until there’s almost nothing left. Then go down on your partner. The sensation will be unlike anything they’ve experienced before.


3 2 DRINK COFFEE

4

Research has indicated that a couple of cups of coffee could well boost the female libido. Even if that’s not 100% guaranteed, the caffeine will improve your concentration - very important if you’re getting hot and steamy in the bedroom.

MAKE ‘EM LAUGH Forget six-packs, pulsating pecs and developed delts, there’s nothing the ladies love more than a man who can make them laugh. In polls, most women admit that they find a man with a sense of humour more attractive than a hunk. It obviously wasn’t a successful formula for Bernard Manning but a good titter is the quickest way to get to a lady’s giggle-button.

ABSTAIN

Couples who avoid sex before marriage end up having happier, more stable relationships and a better time in bed, according to psychologists. Researchers quizzed 2000 married couples under the age of 30 about their relationships. Compared with those having sex early, couples who waited until they were married rated the stability of their relationships 22% higher. They also had 15% improved sexual quality.

FEED THE MOOD

contributors

DESIGN: DANIEL POOLE

Not only can eating an unhealthy diet make you fat, it can also send your sex drive crashing. One of the easiest and healthiest ways to spice things up is by eating foods that boost libido and improve your stamina. Better still, the foods that get things sizzling are also naturally low-fat, so by following a diet packed with them you could shed up to a stone in excess flab.

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.fas



ALEXANDER

Wang


rail in a shop, I wanted to have a whole collection that portrayed meaning and my lifestyle” He then launched his full womenswear collection and recently has launched his first ever mens wear collection in his reknown ‘T’ line. Alex gains inspiration for his designs from people that are close to him and that he knows personally. “ There has never really been a certain piece by a designer that has inspired me, its more there careers that inspire me. Tom Ford with Gucci and obviously Marc Jacobs with Louis Vuitton have been my main inspiration.” Alexander Wang seems to be a major part of every celebrities life, but that’s not what really excites him. “I get really excited when I just see a stranger in the street wearing something I’ve designed.” These comments make Alex appear to be a very down to earth young man that cares more about his work than he does about fame.

WORDS: KATY SMITH / DESIGN: MARCUS FAINT

St Martins. This was very exciting for me as I had never been to London before and knowing that it was a city that paid a major contribution to fashion I was very excited” Alex said. After leaving London, Alex started at Parsons in New York and also managed to gain an internship with Marc Jacobs, something that unbeknown to him at the time, would change his life. “I went to Parsons for two years and realized it was more beneficial for me to be doing my internship at Marc Jacobs than it was sat in a classroom.” This is what inspired the 25 year old designer to start off his career. “I decided to create a knit wear collection as I saw there was a niche in the market and also knitwear is easy to make as there is no tailoring involved.” Taking his designs to a trade show , he was then signed up by 80 different stores including Barney’s to show off his collection. “I realized that I didn’t just want to have a few jumper dresses hanging on a

contributors

H

ot, young designer Alexander Wang is what everyone is talking about at the moment. The most unlikely celebrity you would come across due to his age and his quiet and modest personality. From cashmere cardies to scooping a major industry award, this star of the New York fashion scene has come a very long way in five years. Katie Smith talks to the designer they all want to know. Alexander Wang’s 2011 spring/summer collection has definatley shown that Alexander Wang is growing out of his ‘prince of darkness phase.’ Everything at the show is cream’s and white and is refreshing look on the usual unique style of Wang. The models included the gorgeous British girls Agyness Deyn and Lily Donaldson and Pier 94 was packed to the rafters with the likes of Anna Wintour, M.I.A and Maggie Gyllenhaal. The show was one of the most sort after this season. “I started an art foundation at course during the summer for three months at

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shopping with

Snowdon Lisa

Britain’s Next Top Model host Lisa Snowdon is the epitome of the girl next door. She has worn some of the most coveted designer gowns, and yet she still remains grounded on her views on fashion.

W

hile used to being draped in couture, 38-year-old Lisa doesn’t seem to have the designer snobbery that many celebrities do. Instead she is a style advocate for high street fashion. Commenting about the British high street shops, Lisa believes: “There’s lots of food for thought. You can get some great ideas and inspiration.” Sat wearing a black French Connection dress, Lisa seems to be on the style pulse. Sporting lace tights and ankle boots, and finishing her look with black nails, she oozes celebrity glamour. Her dress is an array of winter trends. Short, sexy and sharp, it features zips and batwing arms. Lisa manages to put together a variety of fashion forward ideas. Autumn and winter fashion for Lisa is something she manages to pull off with ease, and she can show how everyone can look as good, and in high street. As Lisa points to her shoes she

comments: “I’m loving ankle boots, leather and Zara jackets. There are lots of graphics going on.” The top model and presenter also thinks that every wardrobe should have certain items, and to not underestimate them. “Basics like jeans and t-shirts are essential,” according to Lisa. Then you add on trendy items to make the outfit new and modern. She looks down at her endless legs: “Oh, and lace too. It’s going to be such a fun season.” Her lace tights are printed with a flowery motif which is a quirky alternative to boring black legs. She also goes on to discuss the bigger and more daring trends for the autumn/winter season. “I love the big shoulder; it’s really funky and cool. It gives more definition.” The 80’s revival featured in fashion is something many are wary of, but Lisa claims the power shoulder is actually “not too scary to wear”. Her batwing dress is a beautiful example of channelling the 80’s vibe, without

being too garish. Catching Lisa’s eye also is Next: “I really like the tweed that Next is showing.” Next is featuring some great work-wear, and it hasn’t gone unnoticed. It proves, as Lisa says, “That tailoring goes a long way.” Lisa talks a lot about her love for the British high street: “It’s so glamorous it makes me want to go out.” One of her favourite looks for the winter party season is the Dynasty inspired collection, which many high street shops are featuring. This includes a one-shouldered metallic number from River Island, and a beautiful leopard print dress from Monsoon: “The dress from Monsoon, I really love that, I have to buy that.” Lisa is determined to get her hands on those high street goodies, so you better race to your nearest shops and channel her model style in something high street, but still fabulous.


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WORDS: LARISSA HURST / DESIGN: MARCUS FAINT


Spring clean THE WARDROBE DESERVES A REGULAR OVERHAUL. FRESHEN IT UP WITH A COLLECTION OF GLEAMING GARBS.


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STYLING & PHOTOGRAPHY: KIMBERLEY LANGSTONE / MODEL: SOPHIE HABBOO / DESIGN: DANIEL POOLE


Top, ÂŁ20, and under lace vest, ÂŁ9.99, both by Zara.


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Dress, ÂŁ49.99, by Yumi.

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Dress, ÂŁ49.99, by Yumi.

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contributors

Dress, ÂŁ78, by All Saints

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STREET STYLE By Laura Green

Name: Heidi Wakington Age: 22 Occupation: Make-up artist Fashion Influence: Gwen Stefani, Marilyn Monroe Favourite shop: All charity shops Best fashion buy ever: ‘’The necklace I’m wearing. I have another one too, which i’ve painted red.’’ £4 from New Look

Name: Kat Sykes Age: 20 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: Vintage bits and bobs Favourite shop: Beyond Retro Best fashion buy ever: A vintage gold necklace, £10 from a charity shop.

Name: Dean Burch Age: 22 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: Gok Wan, Gareth Pugh, Alexander McQueen Favourite shop: H&M Best fashion buy ever: ‘’The glasses I’m wearing.’’ £2ish, from a street market in Hong Kong Name: Laurie Smith Age: 19 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: Peaches Geldof, La Roux Favourite shop: Topshop Best fashion buy ever: ‘’The bag I’m wearing, although it was quite expensive, I use it all the time.’’ £85 from River Island Name: James Cannom Age: 21 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: The band ‘Metronomy’ Favourite shop: H&M Best fashion buy ever: ‘The bag that I have with me’, £2 from a charity shop.

DESIGN: MARCUS FAINT

Name: Tash Binns Age: 20 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: Anything vintage Favourite shop: H&M Best fashion buy ever: ‘’The high waisted black shorts I’m wearing, they go with everything!’’ £8 from Primark

Name: Karen Newstead Age: 19 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: Dita Von Teese meets rock chic! Favourite shop: H&M Best fashion buy ever: ‘’A floral dress i’ve just bought, it’s actually perfect.’’ £32 from Topshop.

Name: Zoe Whitfield Age: 20 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: Tennessee Thomas Favourite shop: Any charity shops Best fashion buy ever: Leather Jacket, £5 from Primark

contributors

Name: Lucy Bakes Age: 18 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: Mary-Kate Olsen Favourite shop: Urban Outfitters Best fashion buy ever: Leather sheepskin jacket, £12 from a charity shop

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.ent SAVE BRITISH CINEMA 60 TOP 10 BRITISH FILMS 63 MOVIE REVIEWS 64 NO STRINGS ATTACHED: FILM BUFF DEBATE 68 GAME REVIEWS 70 SIMPLY THE BEST BOOKS 73 A WEEK WITHOUT... 74 CONTRIBUTORS 76



Save our

!

cinema With so many iconic films in our history why is the industry dying so fast?


The UK now boasts more digital cinemas than any other country

WORDS: ED BAILEY / DESIGN: SUNIDA WEBB

to secure financing through other means. His debut project was self financed, before being picked up by the HJ Entertainment production company who added the needed professional polish. That isn’t to say that he hasn’t seen problems occur in the industry. “A lot of my friends have lost jobs on film sets because funding has fell through at the last minute and it’s only going to get worse”. Simpson continued by commenting: “David Cameron is saying we should be thinking about making only big budget films that celebrates England’s locations to elevate tourism, but ploughing millions of pounds into a film doesn’t necessarily get you the next Harry Potter. With that mentality we’d be driving away our most celebrated film directors such as Mike Leigh and Shane Meadows.” It’s not only funding organisations that look to be tightening their belts though, private financers will be less likely to part with their cash to help fund a project. As Tina McFarling explains: “If you look across the board I think it doesn’t matter if you’re making a micro budget [film] or if you’re a more established independent producer, it’s not easy to raise the funding on any film. What will happen is that it will be more essential to have what they call key elements that will bring money to the market and that could be the director or it could be elements of the cast.” She continues to explain that those films with a known director, or a hot actor attached to them are more likely to raise money. “Those films were raising money and were being presold so there is money in the market. They’re still tightening the budgets, but there’s still money in the market.” Those projects without a big name, or without interest from outside parties like Ben Simpson’s project, could find it more of a struggle to secure financing. “Where it gets much more difficult is for projects that take risks on unknown talent, and that might be lower budget films and micro

contributors

A sk any film buff to name their favourite directors and chances are a few of them are from our very own patch of soil. Britain has a rich history of film; in fact the first moving pictures to be committed to celluloid were made in Hyde Park in 1889 by a British inventor. Since then we’ve given the world the comedic genius of Charlie Chaplin, the master of suspense Alfred Hitchcock, Ridley Scott’s visual flair - the list goes on. Even Stanley Kubrick, enamoured with the country, took up residency for the last four decades of his life becoming an honorary Brit. It’s a tradition that carries on to this day with directors such as Shane Meadows and Danny Boyle; but what of the future? Recent statistics released by the UK Film Council seem to suggest that both the number of films produced, and the amount spent on them, is beginning to decline. In 2009 69 domestic UK features had been produced with a combined spend of £177.2 million, but that had fallen last year to 55 features produced for £130.3 million. With the recent recession it should come as no surprise that the UK film industry has taken such a hit, but with the government recently announcing spending cuts can it afford to take another blow? The UK Film Council, founded in 2000, was affected even before the recently announced spending cuts. In July last year it was announced that it was to be abolished, with the chairman Tim Bevan branding it “a bad decision”. Over

the last decade the UK Film Council has contributed greatly to UK cinema, not only by helping to fund films such as Bend It Like Beckham and The Last King Of Scotland, but also by ploughing money into projects such as the Digital Screen Network. It’s thanks to this initiative that the UK now boasts more digital cinemas than any other European country. Culture Secretary Ed Vaizey announced that the BFI will be taking over the funding role from the UK Film Council; however they have their own cuts to contend with. The government have reduced their budget by 15%. With the added pressure of taking over the UK Film Councils funding responsibilities it remains to be seen how they will handle this. Some of the proposed budget cuts won’t come into full effect for another four years. Tina McFarling of the UK Film Council is staying positive about the upcoming cuts. “At this point it is a little difficult to see the full picture. However given that the government has pledged that there will continue to be money for film developers and film production, and the tax credit will continue, we have to be quite confident about there being sufficient support for film makers.” But with the UK Film Council’s statistical yearbook stating that “domestic UK films had a tougher time, finding it harder to raise money and lowering their budgets as a result”, will independent film makers struggle to secure financing for their features? The UK Film Council believes that this isn’t a problem isolated to just the UK. As McFarling explains, “Over the last 10 years the average budgets of films has come down. It happened earlier in the 90s and that’s when the financing market was very difficult for different reasons.” She goes on to explain: “There has been a tightening in the budgets of films being made all round, not just British films This is pretty universal.” Ben Simpson, the director of independent project Patrol Men has been lucky enough

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budget films, and there the financing will be much more difficult because it’s so risky. It’s so risky and in this climate companies can’t afford to take that many risks,” warns McFarling. “That, in a way, is why public funding is important because you can take the risks and you can take the time, which is really important, to develop up and coming film makers and you have a better chance of developing more successful films.” It’s not all bad news for those film makers working with a small budget though, as McFarling elaborates. “Films can be made less expensively and can be distributed less expensively and hopefully when distributed, if they can be self distributed, the filmmakers will actually get the money back to reinvest in their next film. There are a lot of our projects that are in development where the filmmakers themselves fully intended to release them and see if they can make profit on the films that way.” There are other options available for film makers to seek alternative sources of finance, most notably of all the internet. “The internet has changed everything, there is not yet a fully emerging model for financing films and making revenues out of them on the internet by downloading but that is only around the corner,” Tina Mcfarling speculated, “film companies are beginning to test out on that and not the transition but the opportunities for other revenues will probably be with us in the next couple of years.” This is something that Ben Simpson fully intends on taking advantage of. “I know a lot of people in America are using the website Kickstarter. It’s a great way to get funding without the hassle of the ‘bigwigs’ breathing down your neck. Now anybody can become an executive producer or invest money into a film from just $1. “The only downside is that for now you have to be based in America. When it does come to England though, I’ll be using it for a short film.” The independent film makers in the UK may be struggling at the moment, but it seems that foreign productions have started flocking here in greater numbers. In 2008 the UK spend for inward investment films, which

Anybodybecome canan

is those backed by foreign financers, was £301.5 million. That has risen in the last two years to more than double that at £780.1 million. Warner Bros are also choosing to secure a strong foothold in the UK also with the recent announcement that it had purchased Leavesden Studios and plans on spending £100 million redeveloping the site. Of course, this is very good in terms of employment for crew members, with the new Leavesden project creating 300 jobs. What it is detrimental to is the identity of British films. The independent film makers still need a voice, and with American movie studios making more noise on these shores it could detract from home grown cinema. If nothing else, at least it means there is money in the UK film market, whether or not it makes its way into independent features is another matter entirely. While the domestic UK film industry might not be in the rudest of health at the moment, it does look like there may be some relief on the way. The lottery funding available for film, currently at £27 million a year, is set to increase to £43 million by 2014. As long as the funding is handled well, this could prove a massive boost for independent film makers struggling to commit their visions to celluloid. In conjunction with this, the film tax relief which was launched in 2007 is now lining the pockets of the right people. As Tina McFarling explains, “that’s working much more effectively and delivers the benefit directly to the film maker whereas previously what used to happen is that a lot of the benefit of tax credit disappeared to financiers.” Whether or not this will be enough, only time will tell. With such a fantastic heritage, it would be devastating if things were to worsen for the domestic UK film industry. It has provided inspiration to film makers around the world, and the current crop of British talent is more than capable of continuing this proud tradition. Let’s just hope that they will be given the support and financial backing needed to ensure Britain is recognised as the best place for new and innovative features.

executive producer or invest money into a film

from just $1


British Fi

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1

Get Carter (1

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3 4 5 6

Dr No (1963)

Arguably M ichael Caine’s greatest film possibly the and best on this the story of list, Carter a hitman w te lls ho returns ho exact bloody me to revenge on the gangsters murdered h is brother. C who aine is at th his game and e top of is still the ep itome of cool imitated but . Often never match ed.

7

Monty Pytho n’s Life of Brian (1979) Arguably M ichael Caine’s gr p

ossibly the eatest film and best on this the story of list, Carter a hitman w te lls ho returns ho exact bloody me to revenge on the gangsters murdered h is brother. C who aine is at th his game and e top of is still the ep itome of cool imitated but . Often never match ed.

Trainspottin

g (1996)

Arguably M ichael Caine’s greatest film possibly the and best on this the story of list, Carter a hitman w te lls ho returns ho exact bloody me to revenge on th murdered h e gangsters is brother. C who aine is at th his game and e top of is still the ep itome of cool imitated but . Often never match ed.

Get Carter (1

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Arguably M ichael Caine ’s greatest fi possibly the lm and best on this the story of list, Carter tells a hitman w ho returns ho exact bloody me to revenge on the gangster murdered hi s who s brother. Cai ne is at the to game and is p of his still the epit ome of cool imitated but . Often never match ed.

Shaun of The

Dead (2004)

The first part of the ‘The B lood and Ice trilogy’ was Cream the brainchi ld of curren comedy favo t Briturites Simon Wright. The P zom-rom-com egg and Edgar could have be all out disast en an er, but thanks to some hila believable an rious, d distinctly British char this little be ac auty is now a favourite of ters years. recent

8

9 10

Withnail & I

(1987)

Students’ favo urite and a ca reer high po its two stars. int for This is no co medy of sw and shine. It eetness has remaine d nicely as favourite, an a cult d it it. Written an s legacy is all the better d directed by for the dark hum Bruce Robin our goes for son, the throat an perfectly to d plays its firmly Bri tish target au dience.

Billy Elliot (2

WORDS: ALI KIRKBY / DESIGN: SCOTT NEWMAN

2

Arguably M ichael Caine ’s greatest fi possibly the lm and best on this the story of list, Carter tells a hitman w ho returns ho exact bloody me to revenge on the gangster murdered hi s who s brother. Cai ne is at the to game and is p of his still the epit ome of cool imitated but . Often never match ed.

000)

Who could fo rget this littl e blinder? Se a backdrop of t against violence and depression du the 1984 min er’s strikes, th ring is is the stor little ballet da y of the ncer who cou ld. Director St Daldry pulle ephe d a stunning debut perform n from Jamie B ance ell and Julie Walters was Oscar nom given an for her scen e stealing su performance pporting .

Lock Stock a nd Two Smoking Ba rrels (1998) Guy Ritch

ie’s first and un doubtedly be The multiple st movie. plot strands and 70’s thro remain a hig wback hlight of Bri tish cinema. are too man There y amazing m oments and choose a favo lines to urite. When this first hit Ritchie was la cinemas belled a Briti sh Tarantino. time it was a At the compliment.

The Full Mon

ty (1997)

When it was first released in have argued that it was th 1997 you could e shock fact made this su or that ch a hit. Her e we are nea years later an rly 15 d it remains as funny and it was then. Th sweet as e downtrodd en strippers fact be more may in relevant in th ese hard tim they were up es than on its release.

contributors

10 Best

Of all time

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MOVIE REVIEWS

HYPE REVIEWS THE LATEST FILMS SO THAT YOU DON’T GET CAUGHT SPENDING MONEY ON ANOTHER ‘FANTASTIC FOUR’ FLOP.


A

paul

s we wait, ever patiently for the third and final part of their apocalypse and ice cream trilogy, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost have brought us a new scifi comedy in the form of Paul. When the trailer first hit, there were many naysayers due to the fact that Paul looked far too animated and unrealistic. Well those naysayers will now be silenced. The effects team have done a stellar job of blending the E.T. There is real weight to the animation and there are times within the film where you forget you’re watching a C.G character. It plays like a game of spot the reference, with classic sci-fi and comic nods and winks coming in every few minutes. The pair have been clever enough not to throw it in your face and risk alienating non sci-fi aficionados. The film is not without its faults. Until they meet Paul, Pegg and Frosts duo are the equivalent of the even couple. Credit to them for not covering the same ground as they did in Shaun and Fuzz, but there isn’t a great deal of humour to be found in two best friends getting along. So the first twenty minutes of the film is annoyingly bland. Even the presence of Glee’s Jane Lynch and Anchorman’s David Koechner fail to bring any substantial laughs. Thanks, then, for Seth Rogen. He well and truly steals the show. He may only be playing

his usual loveable, foul mouthed schlub, but adding the alien gimmick makes it feel refreshingly new. Kristen Wiig is a standout as a one-eyed creationist who’s kidnapped by the trio. Her ‘in God we trust’ attitude vs. Paul’s knowledge of the universe secrets make for a great comedic battle ground. Jason Bateman, Bill Hader and Joe Lo Truglio all have a great time as the government agents in Paul’s pursuit. They aren’t exactly original characters, but as these three have proved time and time again, they are the kings of scene stealing. It wouldn’t be right to review this movie without including one of its crown jewels. Yes, the queen of sci-fi Sigourney Weaver is also aboard as the shadowy leader of the unknown government agency. The movie lets you know up front exactly what its intentions are. Just like Shaun was an homage to the Romero style zombie classics this is a love letter to early Spielberg. Unfortunately, the boys love letter does give a sense that they spent several months going through their DVD collections and cramming all their favourite moments into one film. It wouldn’t be fair to call it lazy, they’ve just pulled a Tarantino and it is less ambitious than we have come to expect from their pairings.

contributors

It plays like a game spot the reference with classic sci-fi and comic nods and winks.

WORDS: ALI KIRKBY / DESIGN: DANIEL POOLE

RELEASE: FEB 2011 DIRECTOR: greg mottola STARRING: nick frost / simon pegg / seth rogen SCREENPLAY: nick frost / simon pegg

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RELEASE: march 2011 DIRECTOR: jaume collet-serra STARRING: liam neeson / diane kruger / january jones SCREENPLAY: oliver butcher / stephen cornwell

A

fter the surprising success of last years Taken, Liam Neeson has become something of a left field action star. There he proved, that despite his ascending years he can still kick arse with the best of them. Stallone, watch your back, there’s a new hero in town. Despite some media outlets stating that this is effectively Taken 2, there are actually very few similarities between the movies, except for the fact that Neeson is hard as nails in both. For the massive amount of fun that Taken was, there wasn’t a great deal of plot, and what there was of it was only there to move Neeson from place to place so he could bring the pain. Unknown however, is a thought out, if not provoking thriller. Neeson is Dr Martin Harris, a scientist who has travelled to Berlin with his wife for a conference. During his visit he gets into a taxi driven by the brilliant and beautiful Diane Kruger. You may remember her from her brilliant performance as Bridget

unknown

in Quentin Tarantino’s Inglorious Basterds. They are caught in an expertly shot car accident leaving Harris in a coma for four days. When he wakes, he explains to the Doctors who he is and convinces them to let him leave. He travels back to the hotel only to find his wife have no idea who he is and another man has taken his identity. You see, during the crash he lost his wallet and all identification. Don’t you just hate it when that happens? So off we go on a mission for Harris to prove who he is. Along the way he is dragged into a very sinister web of violence, corruption and terrorism. It does take quite some time for the action to really set in motion, and things do get rather drab when all you’re watching is Neeson exclaiming that he is DR! Martin Harris for 20 minutes. Seriously, you’ll have more fun trying to count how many times he says this during that portion of the film than you will watching the film itself. Once the action gets moving though it is pretty good fun. But that is all it is, fun. Director

Jaume Serra and the screen writers aren’t trying to carve out anything new here. It’s basically a mash up of Bourne, Bond and any other political thriller/actioner you’ve ever seen. And you’ll see the twist coming from a mile away. If you watch the trailer and think about it enough, you could figure it out from there. It’s great to see Neeson dishing out the pain again, but a lazy script and lack of originality leave this as a ‘wait for the DVD’ watch.

They are caught

in an expertly

shot car accident

leaving Harris in a

coma for four days.


T

west is west

en years have passed since the smash comedy East is East graced the silver screen. Now is the time for the second part of the Khan family’s hilarious tale. It would have been easy to say that the film has only been commissioned to reap the benefits of the originals cult classic status. Thankfully, West feels like an organic progression of the story, offering a welcome addition to the highly dysfunctional family’s story. The original cast have returned, set five years after the original, the family has somewhat disbanded. The chip shop is still in full swing with Mrs Khan #2 and Auntie Annie. The tearaway, promiscuous Tariq now runs his own business, using the mysterious (and fairly fictitious) tales of his homeland to woo local girls who come to his shop. Runt of the litter Sajid is in secondary school and facing merciless torment from the local bullies. When he starts skipping school and shoplifting, not to mention completely abandoning his Pakistani heritage, father George decides to take Sajid to the Punjab in order to finally sort him out. Upon arrival they go and stay with Mrs Khan #1 and the family George abandoned 35 years earlier. His other son

Sajid,

Maneer is also living in Pakistan trying in vain to find a wife. As a sequel, the film ticks all the right boxes. It expands on the mythology of the first, introduces new characters and develops the old ones. Unfortunately, one of the best characters from East, Tariq’s role is reduced to a mere one scene cameo. The plot doesn’t suffer particularly for this, it was just a shame to see so little of him. Sajid, whilst having some of the best one liners in East has really come into his own in this movie. He displays fantastic comedic timing and hits all the emotional punches with great skill. But for all the comedy elements and father/son dynamic, the films greatest element is the issue of abandonment. How can this man, who walked away from his family 35 years earlier just show up one afternoon and expect to be welcomed with open arms? And just what kind of effect does his double life take on his two wives? This is an issue that is handled beautifully, culminating in a heartfelt and devastatingly emotional scene between the two Mrs Khan’s. Beautifully scripted and very funny in all the right places, perhaps not as much so as the original, but a valiant effort indeed.

whilst having

some of the

best

one liners in

East has really come into his own.

contributors

RELEASE: FEB 2011 DIRECTOR: andy deemmony STARRING: aqib khan / om puri / linda bassett SCREENPLAY: ayub khan-din

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DEBATE

no Strings attached RELEASE: FEB 2011 DIRECTOR: ivan reitman STARRING: ashton kutcher / natalie portman / kevin kline SCREENPLAY: elizabeth meriwether

T

Clearly Reitman is aiming for the lower age

hank the lord that we have finally been delivered a rom-com that doesn’t give you the best of the film in a three minute trailer. There was a great deal of worry going into this movie that we would once again have three minutes of hilarity, intertwined with 97 minutes of droll, cliché ridden antics. But director Ivan Reitman of Ghostbusters fame has delivered a charming, enjoyable, if highly predictable February treat. Coming straight from the success of Black Swan and the vast amount of accolades it has brought with it, Natalie Portman is shaking things up as Emma, a trainee doctor who has no time

bracket to boost ticket sales.

or interest in committing to a relationship. Starring alongside her is a surprisingly charming Ashton Kutcher. That was worry number two, given that the majority of Kutcher’s other work left you wanting to bury your foot squarely between his teeth. He’s on suave and hilarious form here. He and Portman have chemistry to spare as the ‘sex-friends’. As Adam, he has dropped the smarm and upped the charm, putting in a solid performance even if he is slightly overshadowed by Portman. Clearly Reitman is aiming for the lower age bracket to boost ticket sales. For a film of this subject matter, there is a distinct lack of bad language and sex scenes. There is actually only one proper scene and a montage, all of which are very tame. This leaves the feeling that this could have been a much more ambitious

project that has been skimmed over for a tamer audience. Perhaps Reitman is accountable for this. It’s possible that in the hands of his son Jason, a distinguished director in his own right, having made the brilliant Thank you for Smoking and Juno, would have been more suitable to this kind or project. In his hands it could have been an edgier and thought provoking piece of cinema. For all of its faults and predictability, Strings does deliver a solidly enjoyable February romp, no pun intended. The wonderful supporting cast hit all the right notes and Portman and Kutcher prove both believable and likeable, and for once you do find yourself rooting for them to get together. A cut above the usual rom-com fare, but it does leave you feeling like it could have been much better.


Kutcher

clawed in the laughs

too intense.

dimensional film. ‘No Strings Attached’ is a light-hearted attempt at an insight in to the ‘sex-buddy’ generation of the 21st century. The weak and predictable plot was made bearable by its light comedy but the laughs but these are but a soft and vague flicker in my memory, overshadowed by irritation and boredom. It begins with childhood friends Adam (Kutcher) and Emma (Portman) being reunited then continuously bumping into each other, exchanging minimal words, until they swap numbers. Time passes and Adam has a dad related drama, instigating a drinking binge. Paralytic, he calls Emma and she rescues him from the clutches of alcohol. Upon waking up naked, their hunt for his trousers turns in to ‘accidental’ sex. By this point, my face was already contorting in frustration. Drunken phone calls

from near strangers would, in my world, be answered with the big red reject call button! The female lead of current rom-coms is a tiresome and anti-love trying to portray independence. Armed with these cold personality traits, Emma suggests a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship with strictly no snuggling. Cue scenes of passionate sex and Kutcher nudity! Adam now loves Emma, even making her a period mixtape (yes, it’s exactly how it sounds) and she secretly loves him too but that would show weakness. Surprise, she starts pushing him away but all of a sudden drops the heartless act and wants to be with him, but is it too late? The couple end up living happily ever after, but this was obvious from the beginning right?

contributors

“ A

s a female, I’m defying the boundaries of stereotype by openly admitting I’m not a fan of romantic comedies. Granted, it’s a generalisation to say that the whole genre is bad but I usually end up with a severe feeling of plot déjà vu. I’m not one to turn down a freebie though, so when given the opportunity to preview the new release ‘No Strings Attached’, I went in fully prepared for my film palette to have changed. Sadly my hopes were quashed and my open mind was ready to close its doors to rom-coms once again. With leading characters played by the Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman, I hoped this film may have seen a beautiful amalgamation of a comedy genius and talented actress. Unfortunately the chemistry was nil. Kutcher clawed in the laughs while Portman’s uptight stance proved too intense for this one-

WORDS: ALI KIRKBY & HELEN ARCHARD / DESIGN: DANIEL POOLE

while uptight Portman’s stance proved

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Crysis 2 The award winning Crysis returns with the second instalment in a planned trilogy. Release in 2007, the first game in the series sold in excess of one million copies, and picked up awards for Best Shooter from GameSpot and Game of the Year from PC Gamer. Whilst it was a PC exclusive, this time

around Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 owners can get in on the shooting action as well. The story takes place in 2023, three years after the events of the original, in a futuristic New York which has been evacuated due to an alien infestation. The developers Crytek are keeping most of the plot details under wraps.

However, what is known is that you will play as a Green Beret named “Alcatraz” who is in possession of Crynet Systems Nanosuit, and they aren’t happy about it. The game will be released in March, but for those eager to give it a go now a multiplayer demo is available for download now.


Dragon age 2 One of the most exciting features is the ability to import the choices you made throughout the first game, which will then be reflected in Dragon Age II. PC, Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 gamers will be able to purchase the game in early March.

WORDS: ED BAILEY / DESIGN: SCOTT NEWMAN

You take control of Hawke, a survivor of the Blight from the original, as you play a decade through his life writing history as you play. The sequel sees the same non-linear narrative as the first make a return, allowing you to wander off the beaten track and complete side quests to your heart’s content.

contributors

The first Dragon Age was one of the hit RPGs of 2009, spawning an expansion pack and scores of Game of the Year accolades from the gaming press. Hardly surprising considering the folks behind it at BioWare developed Baldur’s Gate and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.

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STHEIMPLY EST

B

HYPEgivesyouthelowdown onthenewreleasesthebook worldhastoofferthisyear.

HYPE’s Best Book for those who love a good mystery

HYPE’s Best Book for Romantics Pieces of my Heart - Sinead Moriarty (out now) Ava is trying to juggle a life that has too many pieces whilst struggling to keep her own identity. Realising her daughter needs her Ava discovers there is no such thing as feeling ‘empty’ – not if she is to hold onto the most precious pieces of her heart. AUTHOR ALERT: Dublin born Moriarty began writing as a journalist, living in Paris and London. Her debut novel The Baby Trail has been translated into over twenty languages. Pieces of my Heart is her sixth novel.

HYPE’s Best Book for Blokes Mistaken –Neil Jordan (out now) Kevin Thunder grew up with a double - a boy so uncannily like him that they were mistaken for each other at every turn.

HYPE’S Best Book for the Truth The Whistleblower – Kathryn Bolkovac (out 18th February) At great risk to herself, Kathy unravelled the ugly truth about officers involved in human trafficking and forced prostitution – this is her story.

HYPE’s Best Book for the Mind

Do no harm - Carol Topolski (out now) With razor-sharp writing and chilling revelations, Do No Harm is about a doctor who deliberately goes out of her way to maim her patients. AUTHOR ALERT: Carol Topolski was nominated for the 2008 Orange Turner Prize for her debut novel Monster Love. Graduating from the University of East Anglia with a Creative Writing MA, Topolski spent many years working as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist before turning to writing full time.

HYPE’s Best Book for fans of Jodi Picoult Saving Max – Antoinette Van Heugte (out in March) In a baffling netherworld of doubt and fear, barred from contacting her son, Danielle clings to the thought of Max’s innocence. Is her baby boy really a killer?

HYPE’s Best Book for Shopaholics The Secret Shopper Affair – Kate Harrison (out 3rd March) Best mates Sandie, Emily and Grazia have been through so much together: widowhood, divorce and redundancy for starters. They thought they’d be friends forever, but they reckoned without the dividing effects of men and money... AUTHOR ALERT: Harrison’s third book follows the well-known bestsellers: ‘The Secret Shopper’s Revenge’ and ‘The Secret Shopper Unwrapped’. Her website www.kate-harrison. com not only provides information on all of her novels but has advice for wannabe writers and a link to her regularly updated blog.

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contributors

A new body is unearthed on the day Lola’s hometown gather to remember her best friend Chloe, who died in a suicide pact on Valentine’s Day. Lola finds herself alone in her knowledge of the dark story that links these deaths.

WORDS: HANNAH BLAKE / DESIGN: SCOTT NEWMAN

Cold Light – Jenn Ashworth (out 12th May)


~A

week without... te

chocola A chocoholic consumes 15 (60g) bars of chocolate per week and craves it approx six times a week. The British are a nation of chocoholics so this week I’m going into chocolate rehab. When I was little chocolate was a treat. A tiny square was snapped off everyday at 3.30pm when I finished school. It was the best part of my day biting into the solid cocoa block. The flavour, the taste, the texture. (my face expression resembled something similar to Charlie’s from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). Now, when it hits that time in-between lunch and dinner and I’m peckish, the first thing I think of is chocolate. Also, working nights involves taking bars of chocolate to prevent me from falling asleep and to keep my energy levels up til the early hours. Since I started university I’ve always found the tendency to stress myself out beyond belief about a worthless article or hand in date. Currently in my third and final year the increasing rapid chocolate consumption could relate to its stress-relieving

characteristics, but I’m most certainly not the type to eat 15 bars a week just to overcome an essay… There are substances in chocolate that trigger the brain to release mood-enhancing chemicals leaving a sense of a euphoria, pleasure and relaxation. Other scientists have discovered that chocolate contains substances that are similar to the effects of marijuana, leaving the consumer feeling ‘high’ - well I’ll remember that next time we crack open the tin of Roses at Christmas! A way of realising you’re an addict (according to scientists) is you feel guilty from eating too much chocolate, or even products containing chocolate. Weight gain isn’t associated with addiction, and not associated with me either. ‘Where do you put it’? ‘Do you ever stop eating’? This is the problem, I can satisfy my taste buds with Galaxy bars till my hearts content and my trusty metabolism will deal with it. But this week I have been well and truly put to the test finding alternatives and naturally sweet produce to eat when my colossal cocoa cravings begin.


2

day

An invitation to Starbucks didn’t seem a problem until I scanned over my personal blackboard menu in my head only to discover that everything I usually purchase is chocolate based; mocha, creamy hot chocolate e.t.c. So a caramel macchiato it was and the unnecessary chocolate Tiffin remained in the cabinet. First hurdle, complete.

day

7

3

Most certainly not impressed with my housemate buying a gigantic bar of fruit and nut and chomping on it next to me. The worst thing, he never eats chocolate but enjoyed every minute! Oh the pain of the 4 o’clock craving!

4

6

I thought this day would be a write off, counting down the hours, minutes, and seconds until I could dive into my box of goodies. But even though spending all day cooped up in my room writing, having a chocolate outbreak didn’t even cross my mind. Was my sweet tooth yanked out by the dark fairy or am I actually getting used to this no chocolate diet?

day

day

I took this 4 o’clock craving to a whole new level today. Three cups of tea and a whole packet of ginger nuts biscuits…sugar overload 1 – chocolate 0!

day

WORDS: STEPHANIE STEVENS WADE / DESIGN: DANIEL POOLE

1

day

I defeated the vending machine! To begin with it was like a scene out of Requiem For a Dream, the machine definitely jumped out and wiggled at me, maybe it growled but it wanted me to raid it and rip open the king size packet of Malteasers. Then the engineer arrived. The perfect day to take the machine apart and lay out the tray full of goodies on the floor in front of me…

5

The food cart man on the train to London was on the dark side, trying to ruin my challenge. Before I knew it I had a packet of Jaffa Cakes in my hand until reality hit me…well my friend did. Oh the disgusted look on her face, the joy on mine. Flapjack it was.

day

Another day of writing, another day without the need for my chocolate fix. However there isn’t a doubt in my mind that I won’t enjoy a packet of Minstrels at 12pm!

I’m not going to end with ‘what I’ve learnt’ and ‘what I will change in the future’ jargon. However, I have felt a lot healthier this week. I have felt more alert and less tired and drained, probably due to the fact I have eaten proper food when I snack and actually finished bags of fruit instead of alowing them to grow mould while hidden away in my cupboard.

The brainy men in white coats are still trying to rattle their hefty brains in order to find out the real effect chocolate has on people. What physical or psychological effects does the consumption of this sweet and tasty substance have on us? Until they find the answer, I’ll revert back to chocolate being a treat.

contributors

CONCLUSION

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SCOTT NEWMAN

ALI KIRKBY

JACK WHITLOCK

ED BAILEY

STEPHANIE STEVENS WADE

AMY BENNETT

R

DANIEL POOLE

HELEN ARCHARD

NT

MARCUS FAINT

CO

IB

S R O T U

EDITOR

FEATURE WRITER

FEATURE WRITER

FEATURE WRITER

FEATURE WRITER

ART DIRECTOR

FEATURE WRITER

FEATURE WRITER

MORE CONTRIBUTORS

HANNAH LAWRENCE

EMMA STUART & KELLY WOOLFORD

FEATURE WRITER

EDITOR

FEATURE WRITER

Sunida Webb THOMAS WHITEHEAD EMMA SMITH GRACE RICCARDI HANNAH BLAKE STEPHANIE GHATTA KATY SMITH LARISSA HIRST KIMBERLEY LANGSTONE SOPHIE HABBOO




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