Each issue, The Parenting Coach, Rosie, tackles your parenting questions. There is no subject we won't cover and privacy is guaranteed. Send your questions to eleanor@somethingnewmag.co.uk
Q
Our three-year-old son always wants me to do everything for him. If my partner tries to give him a bath or get him dressed, he cries and has a massive tantrum. Parental preference is hard for both parties. The favoured parent can feel over-whelmed by always being in demand and resentful towards the less favoured parent who seems to have much more freedom. Additionally, the less favoured parent can feel excluded and helpless. One of the most effective ways to manage this situation is to use humour. Children love silly fun and this can be a brilliant way to lighten the atmosphere. For example, when your son makes a fuss because your partner is going to give him a bath, your partner can say, “Let’s get you in the bath…” Then proceed to put the child fully clothed into the empty bath. Your son will love telling your partner that that’s not what we do when we have a bath. Your partner should then reply, “I need to learn, you can help me”. If you use humour and avoid taking it personally the situation will be easier to manage. It is also important to stick to what you and your partner have agreed, even if your son makes a fuss. It can seem easier in the short term for you to just give in and take over, but in the long term this can make things harder for everyone. You can also set up a rota so that your son gets used to each of you doing things with him. This can be as simple as taking alternate turns to do the bedtime routine. 14 somethingNew THE PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR DORSET FAMILIES
