somethingNew THE PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR DORSET FAMILIES
Spring 2019
My Baby Couldn’t Breathe Baby Roo’s rare condition meant extreme surgery at 4 weeks old
Peace at Last?
How to get a good night’s sleep for the whole family
WIN! ORGANIX GOODIES WORTH £100 REAL LIFE
SHOPPING
Potty Mouth
We talk potty training techniques and tips.
ADVICE
RECIPES
COMPETITIONS
59 Garland Road, Poole, BH15 2LD 01202 668439
Garland Road
thehub@littlebeansdaycare.com
breakfast & after school clubs
www.littlebeansdaycare.com Ofsted registered: EY481492
contents 06 BEAUTIFUL YOU
Fashion for your blooming bump
08 FROM THE MIDWIFE We hear from a local midwife about all the ways to give birth.
14 POTTY TALK
Ideas and tips for getting started with toilet training.
PERCHANCE 22 SLEEP TO DREAM Is sleep a thing of the past for you?
26 JUST BREATHE
Reuben’s fight for breath was an eight week battle...
33 WHAT ’S COOKING? Cook up a storm with our recipe from Dorset’s Hari Hari kitchen
34 DORSET FAMILY DINING
Read our restaurant review on The Stable in Poole.
36 WET WET WET
Bed-wetting advice, support and help from a pro.
The gorgeous Ophelia is our cover model. Photograph by Alma’s Home Studio, Blandford www.almashomestudio.uk
41 BABY BOOK CLUB Join our new baby book club!
42 CHEEKY FACES Let’s see those cheesy grins!
44 WHO GIVES A SH... Contributor Louisa talks about how her family are living a greener life
47 WIN WITH ORGANIX We’ve teamed up with Organix to find Dorset’s funniest baby feeding photo!
52 FOREVER ANGEL
One mum’s words on losing her son at birth
53 DORSET DAYS OUT Dorsetmums gives us ideas on fun family days out when it’s cold outside!
54 KIDS CORNER
Grab a quick cuppa while the kids are quiet!
Hello!
Guess who’s back?! After a sabbatical from the magazine, we are delighted to be relaunching with a new look and feel, plus a new editor! In this issue we have some super helpful articles on baby and infant sleep (I’m writing this after a night of bed-hopping between my two sleepthieves), potty training and bed-wetting plus columns from our new contributors.
There’s also lots to join in with; from sending in pictures for the Cheeky Faces page, to sharing your story, we want Something New to reflect this community and the people that are raising kids within it.
Take a minute to enter our competition to win an Organix hamper, or make the most of a hot cuppa while the kids colour in the picture at the back and last of all, let us know what you think!
Lots of love,
Eleanor & Sebrina
Eleanor Spry & Sebrina Drew, co-conspirators at Something New
4
somethingNew THE PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR DORSET FAMILIES
somethingNew THE PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR DORSET FAMILIES
Let us shout about your business... Great rates, large distribution area, awesome readers
next issue out april 2019 email sebrina@somethingnewmag.co.uk for rate information
Work, Play, Relax
Dressing your changing shape is easy when there’s so much choice in maternity fashion. Here’s our favourite fashion fixes that will take you to work, weekend and rest.
MID WASH MATERNITY DUNGAREES Price: £45.00 Jojo Maman Bebe
MILKSCARF Price: £29.99 MamaMoosh
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RED MATERNITY WRAP JUMPER Price: £32.00 Jojo Maman Bebe
BRETON STRIPE 4-IN-1 MATERNITY CARDIGAN Price: £39.00 Jojo Maman Bebe
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Editor’s pi
MIRAGE WRAP DRESS/LABOUR WRAP Price: £49.99 MamaMoosh
YELLOW FLORAL T-SHIRT Price: £8.99 New Look
MAKING AN
XIT E L
PLAN
et me introduce myself; my name is Rosie, and I am a midwife working at Poole hospital, currently as part of the elective Caesarean section team.
I wish I could remember the exact moment I realised my calling to midwifery but what I do remember is that, from about the age of fifteen, I intuitively just knew that I wanted to be a midwife. I carefully selected my A-level options with consideration of the required qualifications for acceptance on to the midwifery Diploma course and haven’t looked back since. Sure, I’ve had some wobbles along the way, but I love my job and my ‘second family’ at Poole, where I have been employed for the last eleven and a half years.
I am always proud to answer 'I am a midwife' I consider myself to be very privileged in my job; it is, without doubt, a gratifying profession; one which brings much job satisfaction. To become involved so 8
intimately in the lives of women and their families; supporting them through what is a very vulnerable and life-changing moment in their life journeys is an honour. When I am asked what I do for a job, I am always proud to answer ‘I am a midwife’ (or ‘madwife’ as we sometimes joke in the profession - it takes a particular type of person to make it as a midwife).
The Highs There have been so many high points along the way that I would be hard pushed to choose just one! However, one that springs to mind was during my case loading experience as a student midwife. After supporting a friend and mummy-to-be through her entire gruelling 23-hour labour, I finally had the incredible experience of welcoming my godson into the world (he is now a strapping 13-year-old lad!). Another particular highlight came during my final shift as a student before qualifying. I delivered the second baby of a woman whose first baby had been my first birth as a student midwife; thus ending my training with a feeling of having come full circle.
way to go mums From my experience and observations, I would like to start by saying that pregnant women sometimes can become very focused on birth. They spend a vast amount of time
during their pregnancies worrying about the cup applied to the baby’s head, or forceps, birth, often hearing accounts of birth stories which are two metal instruments that look with varying degrees of horror from welllike tongs or large spoons that are applied meaning friends and family. As much as to either side of the baby’s head. In both people want to share their stories, we should instances the mother continues to bear allow a mum-to-be to enjoy her pregnancy, down while the obstetrician simultaneously the incredible applies gentle traction on the experience baby’s head to enable birth. any way that baby of growing a new person, There are many reasons that makes his way into an instrumental birth may be without filling the world is natural, used, such as maternal fatigue her with courageous & beautiful or concerns about your baby’s dread about a well-being during the final situation that stage of labour. The RCOG (Royal College is unavoidable. of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists) estimates that 1 in 8 births in the UK is an The most important thing is that baby instrumental delivery. arrives safely into the world and that both mum and baby are healthy as they start their new life together. As a midwife, I see Caesarean Section so much guilt, shame and upset over what This is where the baby is born via an is termed ‘natural birth’. New mums who abdominal ‘Pfannenstiel’ incision, which is a feel that they have ‘failed as a woman’ if they curved transverse incision made just above have not ‘done it right’, as if a C-section or the bikini line. This can be subcategorised intervention is somehow lesser. Well, let me into ‘elective’ (planned) and ‘emergency’ tell you mamas, any way that baby makes (unplanned) Caesarean section. Caesarean his way into the world is natural, courageous sections are further categorised dependent and beautiful. on the level of urgency, ranging from a Category 1 Caesarean section (which generally requires a general anaesthetic) And so, let me see how I can offer you some where either the mother or baby’s life help by briefly outlining the birth options is deemed to be at imminent risk, to a available to pregnant women. Category 4 (elective) Caesarean section, which will be carried out at a time which Vaginal birth suits both the mother and Caesarean section This is where the baby is born via the birth team (and in most instances is carried canal. This can be subcategorised into out with the mother awake under spinal ‘spontaneous’ (occurring without assistance) anaesthetic). and ‘instrumental’ (requiring assistance). Spontaneous vaginal births can occur in a There are a number of reasons that an birthing pool as opposed to on dry land if elective Caesarean section may be deemed this in an option deemed suitable for you. the most appropriate option for birth. Instruments that are used to assist birth can be either ventouse, which is a suction These include, but are not limited to;
Delivery time
• • • •
Placenta praevia (where the placenta covers the cervix, blocking the path for the baby to be delivered vaginally) Tocophobia (fear of childbirth) Known breech presentation (although mother may opt to attempt a vaginal breech birth in this case) Previous Caesarean section (although the mother may choose in this case to attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after Caesarean section).
Emergency Caesarean sections may be indicated for many reasons. This can be prior to labour starting, for example, in the case of a placental abruption (where the placenta peels away from the wall of your uterus) or cord prolapse (where a loop of umbilical cord drops down through your cervix into the vagina ahead of the baby); these can
also happen during labour. Sometimes emergency Caesarean section may become necessary during the labour process if, for example, there are concerns regarding the wellbeing of the mother or baby, labour fails to progress, or baby is in the wrong position. Dependent on the degree of urgency, stage of labour, and pain relief you already have on board, emergency Caesarean sections may be undertaken with either epidural, spinal or general anaesthetic for pain relief. The RCOG estimates that 25% of births in the UK are by Caesarean section, comprising 10% elective Caesarean section and 15% emergency Caesarean section. Childbirth is such a vast topic, that it would be impossible to cover everything in one issue. So in the next issue we will be looking at your choices on where to give birth.
Anna&Henry
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Life in Colour By Sian, mum of two
W
hen I was pregnant with my daughter I remember looking at baby clothes and being outraged - all the girls clothes were boring! Why do boys get all the cool anchor and skull prints? Years later I had my son and learnt the real truth: boys clothes are REALLY boring. Do you want black, blue or grey? Oh, you want something else?! No no, don’t be silly. Boys don’t wear yellow/purple/red/multicoloured stripes or spots! What’s going on? Are clothes manufacturers worried that too much variety will threaten not-even-developed-yet masculinity? Are parents worried that little willies will shrivel and fall off if old ladies accidentally coo over their adorable little ‘girl’? Of course there is more variety available through clothing lines such as Frugi, Little Bird etc, but at twice the cost (maybe to cover lawsuits over those little lost willies?). My son is boisterous, loud, cheerful, bright and busy. He is not subdued, dark and fading into the background - why don’t his clothes reflect that? So I’m fighting back where I can. Colourful cloth nappies, rainbow toys, buying the brightest clothes in the shop and complaining loudly about the limited range. I’ve even made dungarees for him and his mates and the added bonus is he’s easy to spot! Viva la colour revolution!
5 easy swaps
to be more green 1. Meat for Veg
Reducing or cutting out meat from your diet is the single most effective way to reduce your footprint. By replacing a couple of meat dishes a week with a veggie alternative, you will have a very positive impact on the environment, your wallet and your health!
2. Grey Water
Sounds gross, but it isn’t. ‘Grey’ water is water you have used in your house already, like for washing up, in the bath or in a condenser dryer. You can then use that to water the garden, rather than using your outside tap.
3. Clothes
The clothing industry is the second biggest contributor to pollution in the world. ‘Fast fashion’ means that while clothes are affordable, they’re also less eco-friendly. What can you do? Find brands that are sustainable, buy secondhand and repurpose old clothes. They make fab dust cloths, bunting or chair covers!
4. Walk This Way
This one is kinda obvious, but we’re going to say it anyway - walk when you can.
5. Life in Plastic?
It’s far from fantastic. Plastic waste is a very real problem; little that we buy comes without it. You can be more conscientious with your purchases, look for items that are wrap free. We’re committed to supporting a greener Dorset - head to our blog to see how you can join us in making a difference.
Weechat I
t’s fair to say that most parents dread the potty training stage; the endless asking ‘do you need a wee?’, the mad dash for the potty as warm fluid trickles out, the constant mopping and washing pants. Sigh, it’s a parental rite-of-passage. But how do you teach small people that just standing in the kitchen yelling ‘weewee mummmeeeeee’ isn’t how grown-ups use the loo? The funny thing is, there is no right or wrong way; everyone does it differently, and everyone gets there in the end. Every child is unique, every household varies and no two parents, parent the same! The key to potty training is lots of positivity and familiarity. Many parents found success by introducing potty training early. It might sound bonkers to buy a potty for a 6-month-old, but there’s real sound logic to it. So what does this look like in practice? From the moment that your child is on
the move, buy a potty. An actual-factual, real-life clean potty. Put it in with their toys. Show them that a potty is a great thing! Try to incorporate the potty into your everyday play and routines. Stuff like ‘aww, dolly sits on the potty’, ‘wee-wee on the potty’. The idea is to get your baby completely used to the potty in the months leading to toddlerhood and the all-important P-day (potty training day!). If a child has an object reference to a potty, they already feel comfortable around it, and that can be half the battle won!
Sharing is Caring When you go to the toilet, let your children see you go. Many very relatable memes show parents trying to have those few moments of alone time in the loo, but alas, it might need to be a distant dream for a while. It’s well documented that children mimic adult behaviour, so by giving them the highlights of your toilet habits, you’re being a great role model. Who could have imagined you’d find yourself parroting ‘mummy’s having a weewee on the toilet’ or ‘daddy’s flushing the
loo’? Do it as much as you can; kids need to hear a word 100 times on average for it to stick.
setbacks after a period of dryness; try not to worry, it will pass!
Wee steps for your wee one Gold Star
There will be signs when your child is ready Reward children every step of the way, with to potty train; things like telling you when positive gestures, smiles, voices, clapping, they have a wet nappy, taking off their dancing and stickers. Keep a special separate nappy, having a dry nappy for a long time, sticker box in the bathroom and near the hiding to wee or poo. When you’re ready, it potty and keep them only for this use. Every can be easier to let them be naked from the time your child sits waist down or just in pants on the potty, even if and check every 15-20 It is well documented they don’t go to the minutes to see if they need that children mimic toilet, you still need to go. From there, you’ll find what works for you. to shower them with adult behaviour praise and a reward. Stickers work well for This process will enable this since you’ll be handing out a fair few. your child to take ownership of going to the toilet, have self-realisation of their actions, and the pride in themselves when they Always Positive receive praise from their favourite people Try to keep everything to do with the potty you! training positive. There will be mishaps and accidents. Just clean it up with an ‘oh well’ We want to hear your potty training stories, tips and move on. Attaching shame to accidents and advice. We’ll share these on our blog and can cause anxiety, which can hinder the send a goody bag to our favourite! process. It’s also really normal to have
Learn how to massage your baby in a welcoming & supportive class. Run by Katherine, a certified instructor with the world leading International Association of Infant Massage (IAIM)
Some benefits of massage for your baby: t t
t t t
Relieves wind, colic, constipation & teething discomfort Stimulates circulation, digestion, nervous & lymphatic systems Enhances bond with you & your baby Develops body awareness & coordination Increases recognition of facial & emotional expressions which support development of social skills
Courses are available in group environment, host your own group or one to one classes. To find out more information and to book your place contact Katherine:
07802 545554
babymassagebykatherine@hotmail.com www.littledreamersbabymassage.co.uk Or find us on Facebook Little Dreamers Baby Massage by Katherine
Hello, my name is Katherine! I live in Poole with my partner, Sam and our beautiful little boy Harrison.
Benefits of baby massage for your baby
I am a Certified Infant Massage Instructor with the world leading International Association of Infant Massage. My career has been centred around working with children; I have been a childminder for over nine years. I am passionate about the early years and the knowledge of how ‘our early experiences’ can lay the foundations for all that follows. Baby massage can positively start this communication of nurture, understanding and bonding as it secures longterm attachments, healthy development and wellness for our children as they grow.
• Helps your baby feel securely attached • Helps your baby feel more loved, valued & respected • Reduces crying & emotional distress • Increases levels of relaxation promoting longer sleep • Development of body awareness & co-ordination • Relief from wind, colic, constipation & teething discomfort • Stimulates circulation, digestion, nervous & lymphatic systems • Increases recognition of facial & emotional expressions which support development of social skills
Benefits of baby massage for you • Feel closer to your baby • Gain deeper understanding of your baby’s behaviour, crying & body language • Provides an enjoyable opportunity to spend one-to-one time with your baby • Share the relaxing effects of giving your baby a massage • Increased confidence in your ability to care for & nurture your baby • Learning a life-long parenting skill
“Absolutely love taking my little boy to baby massage with Katherine! She is a fab instructor and very patient when my baby decides to have a cry! He always sleeps so well after his massage and is much more relaxed” To find out more info contact Katherine: www.littledreamersbabymassage.co.uk babymassagebykatherine@hotmail.com Search ‘Little Dreamers Baby Massage’ on Facebook & Instagram
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somethingNew L oves
THE PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR DORSET FAMILIES
Going green isn’t just about recycling more and creating less waste - it’s about being more conscientious of all of the products we use in daily life. Each issue we’re going to share our favourite ideas for living a more eco-friendly lifestyle.
Bamboo Bamboo is a brilliant alternative to plastic, paper and fabric. It’s strong, durable and has a low environmental impact. These awesome bowls from BambooBamboo (www. bamboobamboo.co) show just how practical, yet pretty, your eco-friendly dinnerwear can be. Bamboo takes a little care to prolong its lifespan; our top tips are to lightly oil with a food safe mineral oil, wash in warm water immediately after use and allow to fully dry before putting away. They’re so lovely to look at, we don’t mind them hanging out on the drying rack!
Bamboo suction bowls from £14.99 bamboobamboo.co Bamboo as a fabric is naturally anti-bacterial, super soft and absorbent. We love these hooded towels from Green Bear (www.green-bear.co.uk), which has its head office in Poole.
Bamboo hooded towel £11.85 green-bear.co.uk
We’ve also tried the bamboo socks and can honestly say, they are INCREDIBLY soft and cosy. Head to Green Bear’s website for more info, and to see a host of environmentally friendly products.
80 Fernside Road Poole BH15 2JL Tel: 01202 259412
Fernside Road
littlebeansdcare@gmail.com
breakfast & after school clubs
www.littlebeansdaycare.com Ofsted registered: EY481492
sleep dream perchance to
I
t’s not surprising that ‘baby sleep’ ranks among the top internet searches by parents. Nothing really prepares you for the long nights of broken sleep, and the exhaustion that comes with it. Sleep seems to be alien to some babies and children. From bedtime battles to fruitless nap times to constant night wakings, getting kids to sleep as much as the guidelines suggest can cause stress, tears and resentment. There’s so much advice online, we thought we would summarise our own tips based on our own experience...
What they say Sleep when the baby’s sleeping
What we say
What they say
The most ANNOYING saying to any parent has to be ‘sleep when the baby is sleeping’. Uh, sure Janice but who’s going to put a wash on, clear up breakfast, watch the older kids or catch up on admin? The theory is there but practically speaking, you still have a normal life to live in daylight hours and the only time you can get stuff done is when the baby is asleep. So how do you balance everything? Designate tasks to specific days and alternate between having a rest and jobs OR, and this is my favourite ‘luxury’, hire a cleaning company. Even once a fortnight gives you a break from spinning all those plates.
Drink plenty of water.
What we say But water doesn’t have the magical go-go powers of caffeine. Whilst we can’t refute the health benefits of drinking water, let’s not pretend I haven’t been keeping Costa in profit for the last two years.
What they say Get some help from friends and family.
What we say Er, yeah, do that. Seriously, if someone you
trust offers to watch the baby for an hour or two, say yes. So many new parents feel like they need to do it all themselves, or feel guilty for not being with their child 24/7 they soldier on, even if help is offered. Don’t. There’s no prize for doing it alone. Not everyone has this option though, hats off to you!
What they say Get an early night.
What we say Early nights are the way to go. There is no shame in going to bed at 7pm. It can feel like you have no ‘adult’ life for a while, but when your night is busier than Grand Central Station, you need all the hours of kip you can get. And it does get easier...we promise.
What they say Exercise can boost endorphins which can help with tiredness.
What we say Are you kidding me? I could barely put my pants on in the morning some days, there was no way I was going to Jane Fonda it up in the living room. Go easy on yourself, if you fancy a walk around the block, the fresh air might help you stay awake and the gentle motion of the pram might help the baby nap. If you don’t, no worries - get Netflix on and relax while you can!
What they say Sleep training can help set a routine.
What we say Now, sleep training is a ‘hot’ subject, and we’re not here to be judgy Janets so we’re not going to say if it’s right for you or not. We will say it’s not advised that you sleep train a baby under two months, since they’re waking with a need, like hunger, separation anxiety, cold or discomfort. Let’s talk...
Expert help Even with top tips to surviving on little sleep, no one can function long-term without getting at least six hours a night. We grabbed a cuppa with Poole-based sleep consultant Shelly Terry and asked her to share some of her insight into getting a sound nights’ sleep.
1 2
Babies need to learn to fall asleep without any external props. Props come in MANY forms, from feeding to dummies, to patting, rocking, music, cuddles and many more. If your baby is reliant on one or more to fall asleep then they will need it each and every time they wake in the night (which we all do at least several times a night briefly!) Be consistent. Whatever is happening at one sleep situation needs to be happening at all sleep situations.
3
Early bedtime. When a person is overtired, it becomes more difficult to settle down and fall asleep. Try to pick a bedtime somewhere between 6 and 8pm based on last nap of the day and your babies age. Routine. A bedtime routine is something you can start at a very early age and is an excellent cue to the body and mind that it is time to settle down and get ready for sleep.
Every child is different, but if your baby is healthy, you can expect 12 hours of solid night time sleep between the ages of 3 and 6 months. If your child is 6 months of age or older and still not sleeping through the night, there are some simple steps you can take to quickly improve the length of your child’s sleep. Here are the five biggest tips to getting your baby to sleep well.
4 5
Keep baby awake whilst feeding. If you are feeding your infant in the night try not to let him/her fall asleep at the breast or bottle. Keep feedings low key and quiet. Implementing any kind of change can be hard work so if you would like some support on your journey to great sleep then there is help available. For more information please go to www.getknowsleep.com, or email Shelly directly on shelly@getknowsleep.com to discuss how I can help you achieve real results, really fast!
S
ally Weber-Spokes joined Yarrells School and Nursery in September of last year. Speaking of the school recently, she said, ‘The warmth that radiates from Yarrells is palpable; every single member of the school community is committed to nurturing and developing children’s confidence and resilience from the earliest age.’ ‘The beauty of the school is multi-faceted. Not only are we a family of committed teachers and support staff looking to grow all our children in the best possible way, but we inhabit a spacious and tranquil woodland site in which children can play and explore together; we offer our tiniest two year-olds a gorgeous start in school life through our Greenwood Nursery woodland setting: it is such a light, airy and wonderfully warm place to begin one’s school journey. The children benefit from fabulous early years’ expertise, where the holistic curriculum focuses on developing the whole child and progressing
as an individual. Our little people bounce through the day with joy, enjoying creative and stimulating activities, both in the classroom and in our wild wood outdoor learning areas. What’s more, they also benefit from specialist teaching in sport, swimming, music, French, drama and dance within their daily curriculum, all from such a young age. This means we are able to give them the very best opportunities and start in life.’ Sally Weber-Spokes bubbled with enthusiasm and pride in the school she leads and extends a warm welcome to any parent considering independent prep education to come and visit to see the beauty of Yarrells for themselves. Please take the opportunity to join our Parent and Toddler groups: Music Box (Mondays at 14:30, free), Happy Feet (Tuesdays at 10:00, £5 per session) and Mini-Monets (Thursdays at 10:00, £5 per session).
Breathe just
When editor Eleanor had her son Reuben nothing could have prepared her for the weeks of living in hospital that would follow. Read about Roo’s rare condition and the journey they all went on...
R
euben’s birth was a little unorthodox (you can read all about his surprise entry to the World on our blog), so the following hours were hazy. We slept a bit, went to my baby shower, and finally went to bed, planning to name him. That’s when I let my worries take hold - you see Reuben had been asleep all day long, without feeding. I first thought it was part of the trauma of birth, but I noticed that his breathing was odd; he was blowing air out through his mouth. I called my sister as she’d seen us all day too, and she agreed that it was strange enough to warrant a call to the maternity ward. I called and they said to bring him in. I got us ready in a flash and drove to the hospital thinking I’d be home in an hour. I didn’t realise it’d be weeks before I’d sleep in my bed again. Arriving at the post-natal ward I was in relatively high spirits, despite having been awake nearly 36 hours. They saw his breathing was unusual and thought that perhaps his nose was blocked. They tried to pass a tube up his tiny nose to clear it,
except it wouldn’t go. He was beside himself at this point - and as you can imagine, so was I. It was then that a nurse hurried in clutching a report - his oxygen levels were very low and his Co2 was very high. He was placed into a plastic cot and we were wheeled along a corridor. It was only as we passed through the doorway I saw the name of the ward we were entering. Neonatal Intensive Care. We were put in a side room as we were an infection risk because Roo had been born at home. There was a lot of coming and going and I was trying to call my husband to update him, but he’d fallen asleep at home. Luckily for us, my sister managed to wake him and took over looking after our 2-year old daughter so he could join me in the hospital. The following days are a complete blur of memories. I remember sitting in a room with Reuben in a plastic box, covered in wires and tubes. I was trying to breastfeed and he took some milk, which was a relief. We saw so many consultants from different departments in those days; each presenting what they thought the problem was. It took a few visits, but when
the ENT (ear, nose, throat) consultant came to see us, things really started to move forward. It was established that the airway was somehow compromised, however, Poole didn’t have the facilities to manage such a small person so we’d need to be transferred to Southampton. The news was a blow. I was already living a crazy life split between home and hospital (post baby days you REALLY want to shower and bath in your own home!), but at least in Poole friends and family could pop by and my daughter was close. But we had to go. The transfer was a long day of waiting; the ambulance to take us was diverted many times, which was absolutely right but Roo wasn’t allowed to feed until after the journey. Seven hours after our planned leaving time, we were loaded into the back and off we went. Arriving at Princess Anne Maternity Hospital in the dead of night was a surreal experience. We were led to one of the six nurseries and parked up in a bay. Going from a private room to a nursery with 12 other babies was a lot to take in - it was such a different environment there were so many alarms and beeps, it made me aware of just how lucky we were, despite the
situation we were in. After checking us in, I was told to try to get some sleep before ENT came to see us. I was sent to a closed ward in a wing of the hospital which would have been incredibly creepy if I hadn’t been so sleep deprived! Ninety minutes later I was brought back to the nursery where they prepared Roo for a CAT scan. Days passed with lots of waiting and chasing. Those were long old days. My sister (my hero) visited a lot, sometimes bringing my daughter. My poor husband had a job interview in amongst all of this because even though your life is upside down, the rest of the world is still turning. Reuben was jaundice, so he had days of phototherapy, which was a real low as I couldn’t hold him much. He had frequent blood tests too, so his tiny feet were covered in pinpricks. But that place will always make you count your blessings - the baby opposite us was born at 24 weeks and had been in for weeks, with weeks more ahead. The staff, the parents, the babies are all so strong, so awe-inspiring; in a way we were privileged to see this world. We were referred to Ronald McDonald House, which is like a hotel for the families of children in the hospital. We were given a bedroom to use which was such a huge help.
They have a massive kitchen on each floor, a living room, a playroom and quiet spaces. It meant my husband and daughter could visit at the weekend and I had somewhere to sleep, work and wash. Reuben’s diagnosis took a while, as two conditions presented in the same way. The details are hazy for me now (I should have kept a diary!), but it was established that he had the less severe condition. Phew. Pyriform Aperture Stenosis. The bony plate behind his nose was overgrown, so he didn’t have enough air passing through. He was compensating by mouth breathing, but it was so difficult that he was exhausted by it. It was decided that we’d be able to manage his condition without intervention as he would grow out of it. As I was desperate to go home, I pushed for discharge, despite a midwife’s concern that he was still jaundice. We arrived back on my birthday, just 12 days after I left. The following day we were sent back to Poole for more phototherapy because his jaundice was so bad, which made me feel awful for not listening to the midwife. He was also moved to bottle feeding, as his weight had plummeted below his birth weight. We were let go the next day, and we
started to live life as a family of four. It didn’t last long. We were back in the hospital a few days later because Roo’s breathing was very hard going. This time we went into the main hospital, into the High Dependency Unit. Here I slept on a chair for a few nights, until we were transferred back to Southampton again. The main hospital in Southampton is just so different from Poole. It was such an overwhelming experience it takes a while to adjust. Roo was on a ward with six other children of varying ages. At night parents slept on put-up beds beside their children, but the curtains have to stay open, so it’s like a giant sleepover with random other people. At four weeks old Reuben was booked for surgery to insert stents to widen his nostrils. There is nothing that can prepare you for taking your baby to an operating theatre. It’s terrifying. He was in theatre for three long hours. Rushing to collect him from recovery my heart was pounding; until I held my baby I couldn’t calm myself. We were wheeled back to the ward and shown how
to look after the two plastic tubes that were in Reuben’s nostrils. The following days had some of the best highs and the worst lows. Initially, he was breathing so easily, it was incredible to see, but very quickly things got worse. The tubes became blocked with snot, and at one point entirely blocked his airway. I have NEVER felt despair like it; the night staff weren’t able to get hold of ENT, my baby was suffering, and I could do nothing. The tubes were cleared, but it was an ongoing problem which lasted days. Reuben, however, had different plans. He was a busy baby; he pulled out three oral-gastric tubes, one cannula and, three days after surgery, he pulled out a stent. The nostril was much wider, so it was decided that we could go home, so long as we kept his nose free from snot (oh, how my life revolved around snot for months!). We were home for ten days. I posted a picture on Facebook celebrating our first full week at home. Silly me. His breathing took a turn for the worse; this time he had apnoeas. After a paramedic friend saw a video of his breathing he called me and asked if he could come over. He looked Roo over and gently told me that we needed to
go back to the hospital. For the third time, we went to Poole where they inserted a breathing tube to help while we awaited a space in Southampton again. This time we’d be looking at more invasive surgery to solve the problem. We were transferred again, this time to the surgical ward. He was booked for exploratory surgery, where they’d take a look
we were privileged to see this world and only decide what to do then and there. It meant sending him off without knowing what they were doing to him. Off he went again, and an hour into the operation we got a call to say they were opening his face up (I’m not going to put too much detail because it’s a bit gory) and they were going to remove the bone that was in the way. This time the surgery worked. We went home for the last time in April, about ten weeks after first arriving at NICU. Aside from dealing with more snot than I ever thought possible, Reuben has thrived. He’s a funny, energetic little boy. He has a will of iron and tantrums most days, but I’m thankful for that warrior nature because there’s no doubt that he needed it to survive. I am thankful to everyone who saw us through our worst times. The friends who sent love, care packages and visited, the doctors and nurses who work fourteen-hour shifts but always greet you with a smile, the surgeon who was so reassuring. My sister who had my back every step of the way. To those parents who have lived the hospital life, you’re incredible. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
In this together Karina is a regular columnist for Something New, sharing her experience of IVF, raising twins, motherhood, working and everything in between. Here’s her first installment...
I
’m Karina, wife and full-time working mummy to five year old twins, Lincoln and Morgan. As I’m sure any working family would agree, balancing family and working life is not for the faint hearted. For a start, you can kiss goodbye to sleep, because no matter how much effort you have put into perfecting a solid sleep routine, you can always rely on something getting in the way of the recommended 7-8 hours. Teething babies, poorly children, endless toilet trips (I really must work on those pelvic floor exercises!), chores eating into the night... the list goes on!! And catching up on sleep during the day simply isn’t an option...well not if you value your job anyway! And as if the lack of sleep isn’t enough to get used to, time-keeping has a whole new meaning to it.
Fitting 24 hours’ worth of jobs into a 24 hour period is a thing of the past. Life with kids really does teach you that there are not enough hours in the day. But beyond the challenges are rewards bigger than any. I have been lucky to be surrounded by amazing people offering support and direction along every step of the way. So I would like to give a little back and share some tips and advice that I have been fortunate enough to receive. So starting with what has to be my favourite tip: #1: Always make some time for yourself. Don’t just say you are going to do it, DO IT! For me, I dedicate every Monday evening (well nearly every Monday….we will come to that later) to myself. My weekly pamper evening. This is the time I take to ‘relax and revive’. Whether it’s touching up the greys (and boy are they coming through faster than ever!), giving myself a mini facial or refreshing last weeks chipped nails, I always take this time to be by myself. Candles, relaxing music and maybe the odd glass (ahem…bottle) of wine. And by the end of it, I’m ready to take on any week! Karina will be sharing her IVF experience in the next issue.
Cook
with Hari Hari Sri Lanken Spices Like most of you, I’ve bought the plain hummus, the coriander one, the red pepper one, the garlic one...but I’m yet to come across a curry flavoured one. Enter Hari Hari Sri Lankan curry spices.
At Hari Hari we’re really excited to be able to bring more exotic tastes to the table. Introducing textures and flavours from a young age gives kids a great variety of food, and paves the way for fuss free mealtimes. Here’s our recipe for a tasty family favourite! Preparation Time: 5 - 10 minutes Makes: 500g Eating time: Seconds!
INGREDIENTS
400g tin of chickpeas (drained) 8 - 10 tbs olive oil 1 tbs tahini 1/2 tsp tumeric powder 1/2 tsp roasted curry powder Handful of chopped parsley 2-3 large crushed garlic cloves 1 tps lemon juice 3-5 tbs water (depending on your desired consistency) Salt to taste
LET’S GET MAKING!
Add all the ingredients in to a food processor and blend. I like my hummus a little coarser so I only blend it until all the ingredients are mixed in, but if you prefer a smoother consistency blend for longer. Pour out of the blender and store in a glass jar or dish and loosely cover to prevent it drying out - and that’s it!
WHY NOT TRY?
Instead of parsley, you could add a couple of handfuls of fresh coriander leaves or basil leaves. If you haven’t got roasted curry powder, you could also try cumin powder or coriander powder for a taste variation. Add a pinch of chilli powder if you like your hummus with a bit of a kick.
Foodie with Kids
F
amily life is busy right? You blink and the weeks just go by. Meal planning, prep, nutrition and cooking is a huge part your week and can be timeconsuming - especially when you’re trying to ensure a balanced diet for everyone. Between work, school, clubs, shopping, housework, homework and all the extra jobs, most days feel like a mammoth test of your organisation skills! It can feel like quality family time is squashed into the minutes between bath and bed. That’s why we take the little luxuries seriously; they mean that for a time, you get just to relax and enjoy being together. Things like going for a meal gives you the chance to experience someone else’s cooking, avoid the washing up and best of all, have a conversation. But you also want it to be worth the money, because, let’s face it, eating out isn’t exactly cheap anymore. In each issue, we will be reviewing a local restaurant; giving our thoughts on the food, value for money, how suitable for families it is and accessibility. Our first trip was to the The Stable, in Poole. The first impression is that this is an excellent place for casual dining; you order at the bar, which makes the process quicker if you’re managing kids. There is seating both downstairs and upstairs - personally, we love the upstairs area as you get some stunning views over the quay, plus you can see the food being prepared in the big, open kitchen - great for showing the kids how things are made! The downside is that there’s no lift, so it’s a pain with prams. You can help yourself to salad and water by the side of the kitchen. Each meal is cooked from scratch, with a huge choice of vegetables
and meats. Great for a healthy treat for the children ensuring they are still getting their five a day! All dietary requirements are catered for, and all allergens are clearly labelled, so you know exactly what you are eating. The children’s menu is good value and has options just to get a main or a combination meal deal with dessert and drink. There are also kids’ packs to keep your little ones entertained, high chairs and very relaxed environment so if your tribe aren’t being as angelic as you hoped, don’t worry. If you haven’t tried The Stable, then we highly recommend a visit! If you want your restaurant to be reviewed please email Sebrina@somethingnewmag.co.uk
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and quote.
HOW TO TACKLE
M
bed-wetting
y name is Lucy Rubick, I am a registered children’s nurse and a public health nurse. I am currently the enuresis (bedwetting) nurse for South Wiltshire and help to support school-aged children and their families with enuresis.
mindful that this is beyond the control of a child and reprimanding them won’t change what’s happening, but there are things you can do to help get control of the issue.
Enuresis is more common than most people would think and in many cases, families manage in secret because they don’t realise Bedwetting affects half a million children just how many others are in the same and teenagers in the UK, and it usually situation. We hope to offer not only advice, affects more boys than girls. Within the but also assurance that this is a totally enuresis clinic, children are generally treated normal problem, and there are lots of things from 5 years of age you can do. Bedwetting upwards. Bedwetting be stressful for both Bedwetting affects half can can affect a child’s selfthe child affected and a million children and their parents/carers, so esteem and negatively teenagers in the UK impact their social life, try to take things one however bedwetting can day be addressed, and there at a time. is lots of support available for children and their families. This article should hopefully Bedwetting occurs when the body is unable provide families with tips, support and to wake when the bladder is full at night guidance on how to manage enuresis and time. The body can produce too much urine where to get help if this is needed. at night, suffer with an irritable “twitchy” bladder and sometimes, constipation, which The term “bedwetting” is used to describe can result in a wet night. The majority of the symptoms of involuntary wetting during children will become dry at night as they sleep. Children and young adults that are toilet train, around three to four years old. affected will wet but won’t be aware of an However, some children do need a little accident, and wetting can happen multiple more help to get there. times in a single night. It’s important to be
Bedwetting can be easily treated but has to involve both the child and the parents/ carer. If the child is not motivated, it may prove tricky to treat, so it is always best to start using self-help tools once the child is of school-age to aim for dryer nights. If a child does not seem motivated or seems to lack emotional understanding, do not worry, there will come a time when they are best to be treated. Please remember that every child is different and they are growing and developing at different stages in their life. If you are concerned that your child suffers from enuresis, firstly, contact a professional for further support, but there are a few things you are able to try at home. 1) Make sure your child drinks plenty of fluids. Imagine your child’s bladder as a balloon; the more your child drinks, the more it will stretch and strengthen, and therefore will be able to hold more at night.
Some people may refer to this as bladder training. You may notice that your child is going to the toilet more in the day, but in time this should improve as the bladder grows bigger and stronger. If you choose to try this, it’s a good idea to let your child’s school know so they can support them at school with access to the toilet. 2) Avoid fizzy and caffeinated drinks. Try and stick to clear fluids as fizzy and caffeinated drinks cause us to produce more urine and this can lead to wetter nights. 3) Eat plenty of fibre, fruit and veg in your diet to ease constipation. 4) Try and get your child to do two wees before bed. Aim for them to do one wee on the toilet and once finished, stand up, stretch arms in the air and then try again. This helps to empty the bladder before bed completely.
5) Restrict evening fluids. Make sure that your child’s last drink is at tea time; This should be at least two hours before bed if possible. 6) DO NOT LIFT! “Lifting” is when we lift our child and take them to the toilet in their sleep. This is teaching the body the opposite of what we would like it to do. The body needs to be awake and aware of a full bladder, not using the toilet when half asleep and unaware that the bladder is emptying. 7) Things to avoid: There have been links made between blackcurrant and some bubble baths to bladder irritation and bedwetting, so try to cut these out. 8) Positive reinforcement is key! As mentioned previously, bedwetting is not the child’s fault, so it’s crucial not to attribute blame for accidents. We have seen much better results from rewarding things a child can control. A reward chart can be made with your child for things such as good drinking or weeing before bed.
Understandably, many parents can feel very frustrated by bedwetting. It can seem like an endless cycle of wet sheets, soaking pull-ups and upset, but there’s a lot of help available if you’re affected. Following the above tips can help, but if you’ve tried things at home with no change, then you should speak to your GP to discuss other treatment options. Please be aware that substantial evidence shows that further treatment options such as medication and the use of bed wetting alarms should be used with guidance and support from a professional as the results will be more promising and effective. Here are some useful sites which can also be accessed for further advice and support. www.eric.org.uk www.nhs.uk/conditions/bedwetting www.bladderandbowel.org
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Call: 07920 715365
yo ent appointm ng ti o u q n whe ing New th e m o “S e” Magazin
Find me on Facebook: @vickygalehair CUT // COLOUR // WOMEN // MEN // KIDS // WEDDING // OCCASION // BLOWDRY BR
I DA L W E A R
UNIQUE DESIGNER GOWNS SUIT HIRE BRIDAL & GROOM ACCESSORIES 01202 986040 bridal@minsterdesigns.com www.minsterdesigns.com MILLSTREAM CLOSE . WIMBORNE . DORSET . BH21 1DW
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icky has been hairdressing for over 18 years, working with high profile salons such as Aveda and Kevin Murphy. Vicky’s skill and talent are evident; her clients are always delighted with their new look. She’s committed to developing her knowledge, progressing her training, as well as investing in top-notch equipment. As well as being an outstanding hairstylist, Vicky is a busy mum of two. She understands how full life can be and ‘me time’ is the five minutes you have to brush your teeth! So her solution is simple - you can have the full ‘salon experience’ when you visit her at Mane Street, Bournemouth or, if it’s more convenient, you can arrange a home visit. While she’s there, she can sort the whole family, and that’s definitely a bonus!
When it comes to cutting and styling children’s hair, Vicky has the expertise to make it a less daunting experience. Some children find having their haircut scary and stressful, but by sitting in their own surroundings, it can be a fun, memorable event. As Vicky gets to know a child, she develops a cutting technique that suits them, and their needs; “Everyone is different - some kids love being pampered and fussed, where others hate sitting still for a long time. I make sure I listen to what they’re telling me so we can all enjoy it!” Attention to detail is everything when it comes to styling, and that’s where Vicky’s passion and knowledge shines through. She knows how to bring out the best in her client’s hair, how to create a look that fills them with confidence and a little bit of glamour. “At the end of the day, my job is to make people feel and look beautiful. The best job ever, who wouldn’t want that?! The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” Mobile 07920 715365 Facebook: Vicky Gale Hairdressing Mane Street Hair Salon Bournemouth www.manestreet.co.uk 01202 554079
Baby Book Club W
e love reading and want to share our favourite books with you, and in turn, invite you to share yours with us. In each issue we will write about one book that has made us laugh, made us cry or made us think - yes, kids books can do that too! I’m taking first go; and I’ve chosen ‘Keep Love in Your Heart, Little One’ by A B. I found this in my local library and to my shame, judged it by the cover. I prefer books that raise a laugh, and this one looked a bit, well, serious. But since it was delivered by an eager toddler, I started to read. I fell in love with it. The words rang so true, and I really wanted the kids to hear the message. As soon as I got home I ordered a copy. It’s my go-to book when the children have tested my patience because it is filled with beautiful sentiment - you can’t help but feel love. You can request to borrow a copy from the library, find it on Amazon or join us in our brand new ‘Book Club’ which meets monthly. We will enjoy our book club book, plus others.
The Baby Book Club will launch in February, and will meet once a month in venues all over Dorset. Keep up to date with dates and locations on our Facebook page. You can also hear us reading our favourite books on our YouTube channel if you fancy having a listen. Lastly, we’d love to hear which books you love to read with your children. Email or message us and we’ll include it!
Cheeky Faces! Send in your cheeky grins, each issue there’s a gift for one bambino! Send your photos to pics@somethingnewmag.co.uk
Albert is so happy to see you!
All Hail princess Tallulah
presenting the beautiful lily
Milo had the best Christmas!
Elsie is looking fierce
Lucy’s grin is as nutty as she is!
so fresh & so clean, beau
Not quite the spa day Joseph had
Layla and Baby Jessie are the perfect pair
finley goes down to the woods today
planned..
Peek-A-Boo Reece!
Riley looks great in
Elo die lov es mak ing a del icio us san d wic h!
That’s a proper cheeky grin, theo!
his new hat
Luna looks like butter wouldn’t melt..
shit
WHO GIVES A
A
ABOUT LOUISA
round about a year ago I was happily and mindlessly browsing my Instagram feed, checking in on other peoples lives when I started to notice an increase in the number of posts featuring vegan food. I was curious. So I started researching, reading articles, watching documentaries. The idea of meat as part of the food chain had never really bothered me, but all of the sudden I was hit by the fact that the meat and dairy industry is one of the biggest factors in climate change. Around about the same time ‘that’ Blue Planet episode aired highlighting the huge problem people have created with plastic. I was sad and angry and so were my family. Trying to explain to a four-year-old that an animal is dying because of the rubbish we throw away was not my favourite conversation of the year!
I’ve been a student, I travelled, I worked for trendy companies on big advertising campaigns both locally and in London, I got married, I ran my own business and baked a shed load of cakes, but these days I’m a mum of three trying to make the world a better place one day at a time!
As a family, we decided to start making changes. We started with small steps, but as the year rolled by we found that one thing naturally led to another, and another. We were on a mission! As a busy mum with three small kids we had to find changes that worked for us, some have been easier than
others, but day by day we’re getting there. And this morning my daughter told me that she needed to tell all her friends how to save the planet so that they would all have a planet left to play on #proudmum. So, I’m here to share some of our journey in the hope that we can inspire you to make some changes too - don’t we all want a planet left for our kids to play on?
at an average cost of 16p per nappy, I would have been spending £2400 on something that gets thrown away! So I started looking at the options, and there are many! I also uncovered the fact that wipes are not biodegradable, here was yet another item that could, I hoped, be easily replaced.
After a bit of digging, I ordered some BambinoMio All in One Nappies and a set of Cheeky Wipes. The wipes are fabulous easy to use and clean and we now use them all around the house for all sorts of wiping One of the first changes we made was up! You get one box for fresh ones, nicely nappies and wipes. A baby will use around scented with tea tree oil (anti-bac) and 5,000 nappies over their nappy-wearing lemon oil (for cleaning), life. That produces a and another box to pop mountain of waste A baby will use around the dirties into. They equivalent to 130 black 5,000 nappies over their also send you waterproof bin-bags full. The travel bags so no excuses idea of that amount nappy-wearing life. when you’re out! of nappies that can’t biodegrade was just The nappies took a bit more trial and error, horrific. I’d already had one child complete the BambinoMios are lovely, great designs this journey and I had two more in nappies and a lovely moisture-wicking fabric but we - that would have been 15,000 nappies. And struggled with the velcro fastening - great for mums, but clever little hands can also get them off !! We then tried some other nappies with poppers, much more successful from a removal perspective, but these ones didn’t have the moisture wicking fabric and pretty quickly we started seeing sore bottoms! Our final attempt was Littles & Bloomz, one of the cheaper online makes but we’ve found them fabulous. Moisture-wicking, gorgeous designs, great absorbent bamboo liners and child resistant poppers! We couldn’t ask for more and at approx £60 for enough to last 3 days a huge cost saving on the alternative.
Baby steps
So, we have a nappy bin in our downstairs toilet, solid matter gets flushed and then the
nappies get washed every couple of days on a 60° cycle. To make sure as much of the poo as possible goes down the toilet we have a little hose fitted onto the side of the toilet to just hose any sticky bits away! It’s not recommended to use a tumble dryer but we do for convenience and then every few months we do a strip wash - 3 washes in a row and leave them to dry naturally. There were approx 5000 babies born last year in Poole hospital alone. If all of those babies were in reusable nappies, that would be a massive total of 25 million nappies NOT in landfill - and that’s just Poole. Think what a difference we could make if, as parents, we all took this one simple step. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about my family’s journey to look after ourselves and our planet, next time I’ll be talking about how we went about changing our diet and the benefits of this for both ourselves and the planet. If you have any questions feel free to write in and I’ll do my best to answer them.
Louisa
Win! When it comes to weaning, Organix have got you covered! Their deliciously tasty no junk organic finger foods are ideal for babies learning to feed themselves – they’re foods to fuel their wonder. Because all the foods come with the Organix No Junk Promise (they are made with the best organic ingredients and contain nothing unnecessary)mums and dads can rest assured that these are finger foods they can trust and their little one will enjoy. We love the Organix finger food range, not only is it ideal as first finger food for babies from 6 months learning to feed themselves because of the easy chunky shapes for little ones to grab hold of, it’s also good for bigger kids too! It’s no wonder Organix are the most loved finger foods, from the melty puffs to the light and fruity rice cakes for little (and big!) learners.
We’re looking for Dorset’s funniest weaning pictures! If you have a child of weaning age, you’ll know just how hilarious eating can be - from new flavours to covering themselves in mush; kids know how to enjoy their food! Send in your best snap of mealtimes with your little one, and we’ll pick five lucky readers who will each receive an Organix finger food hamper, worth £20! Photos will be shared on our Facebook and Instagram page, and the winners will have their photos printed in the next issue. Food is fun! Send your photos to eleanor@somethingnewmag.co.uk
www.organix.com
One entry per family. Competition closes March 31st. Photos must be free from copyright. No cash alternative. Winners will be notified via Facebook/Instagram. Full Ts & Cs see www.somethingnewmag.co.uk
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y name is Ali, founder of my Kids Yoga business ‘Yogarama with Ali Om’. I am a passionate, qualified Toddler and Kids Yoga Teacher. There is nothing quite like it when I’ve been told that a child has gone home after yoga with me and shown their family what they have learned.
There are physical benefits to be gained too such as flexibility, strength, coordination and body awareness. And for you, doing yoga with your little one can be sociable, calming, bonding and fun. You don’t need to be able to stand on your head to do this yoga!
‘Don't educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy so they know the value of things, not the price.
Yoga is a gentle way to discover their little bodies and explore what they can do with it. It also teaches how to be calm and relaxed from an early age so that they can naturally use these tools in the future.
I offer many services such as clubs, group and private sessions, kids yoga parties and I can do this in pretty much any location. So, whether you’re looking for intimacy and privacy in the comfort of your own home or an opportunity to learn as a group with other parents and little ones, the choice is yours. Every session includes Storytime, Breathing Techniques, Song Time, Sensory Time and Relaxation. “Ali has a naturally calm and welcoming approach. Would highly recommend.” Sam L
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!TRIGGER WARNING! The following page deals with sensitive content concerning infant loss. While hard to read, we feel this is an important space for parents to talk about their children.
Eternal Angel I was 23 years old when I gave birth to my perfect 7lb 4oz baby boy Merson John George Cane... heartbreaking to say that he was stillborn. He was due on 3/11/98, and he was born sleeping on 1/11/98. Merson was my second child, I already had a daughter called Gemma who was very nearly three. As soon as he was born I wanted to hold him and kiss him and cuddle him, I longed to hear him cry or feel his hand clasp my finger. I wanted it to be a mistake, and for him to take a breath, the silence was deafening. I spent a few precious hours holding him, caressing him, breathing him in and memorising everything about him. I had photos taken, handprints and a lock of his dark brown hair taken for me to keep. I felt like my world was ending. This wasn’t how things were meant to happen. This should be one of the best and happiest days of my life, not the most painful and heartbreaking and totally unbearable days. I could not stop the tears. I can remember the midwife taking Merson away and having to say goodbye forever...it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do...let go of my much wanted and much loved precious baby boy, the same day he was born..his life snatched away from him before it even began. I could not make sense of it at all. I remember hearing the other babies crying which cut through my heart like a knife and leaving the hospital was horrendous. I can remember seeing another couple walk out with their baby in a car seat, carrying balloons while I was carrying nothing; my arms were empty, and my heart was broken.
I was lucky I had my daughter who gave me the strength to get out of bed in the mornings. The midwife came to visit me a few days later, and that hit me like a tonne of bricks, she should be there to see my baby and weigh him. I couldn’t stop the tears. My milk had come in too, which was a harsh reminder of what I should be doing feeding my baby. My baby who had died. I felt angry at myself and my body that it had let me down and failed my son. I felt like the world should stop and realise what had happened to me and notice the pain I was in, but it didn’t. It carried on as normal. People found it difficult to talk to me about Merson it was as if they thought that if they didn’t mention him, I would forget about it, either that or they couldn’t cope with my emotions. The truth is I wanted to talk about him. I needed to talk about him. He did exist, and I needed to voice this. It was very painful to talk about at the time, and it is still very painful to talk about now, but the only way I can deal with it and live with the pain is to talk about it. I have been fortunate enough to have two more children, Charlie and Emily, however, Merson was my second child, and I will always talk about him, he will never be forgotten. He did exist. Last year, I had a tattoo done with ‘Merson’ and his date of birth with a picture of the angel that is on his headstone. I’m proud to tell people about him, as I am my other children. I’m a mum of four, and one of my babies is my eternal angel.
Family Fun on Grey Days By Fiona from Dorsetmums
H
ello readers, it’s Fiona from Dorsetmums here with some ideas of family friendly things to do whilst waiting for Spring to come. On a bright and crisp day most kids will love nothing more than wrapping up for a beach or forest walk and we’re certainly spoilt for places to go. Dorset has some fantastic country parks which have trails to explore, play areas and somewhere nice to grab a cuppa. Our go to places are Moors Valley, Avon Heath, Durlston and Upton Country Park but there’s also some beautiful nature reserves in Arne, Weymouth and Bournemouth which are worth visiting for the walks and wildlife.
Drizzle Days
The weather this time of year can be so incredibly unpredictable and we are very fortunate to have so many soft plays and play cafes on our doorstep. Some are smaller and perfect for young children
and others like Lemur Landings have so much to play on that you’ll struggle to get them out! We love to visit museums and a favourite with our children is the Tank Museum. Other great places to visit include the Shire Hall Historic Courthouse, The Keep Military Museum and Poole Museum. Nearly every town has a museum brimming with history and activities for the children.
Farmer Palmer’s Farm Park
Stour Valley Nature Reserve
So many adventures
Other attractions which are perfect for this time of year include the Oceanarium, Sealife Adventure Park, RockReef, Farmer Palmers, Adventure Wonderland, Monkey World and Snowtrax. More ideas include visiting a pottery painting café, garden centre, swimming pool, leisure centre, bowling alley, cinema or indoor golf course. Of course, if you’d rather stay at home with the heating on then how about making a den in the
Lemur Landings
living room? Or you could even create your own treasure hunt, get crafting or bake a yummy cake. For more information on places to go with the family and February half term events, please visit Dorsetmums online: www.dorsetmums.co.uk
Colour me in!
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OPEN MORNING FRIDAY 8 MARCH 2019 9:30 - 11:30
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Yarrells School & Nursery Independent Day School for Boys & Girls aged 2 - 13
Parent & Toddler Groups
Music Box
Happy Feet
Mini Monets
• Age 18 months to 3 years • Monday 14:30 - 15:15
• Age 18 months to 3 years • Tuesdays 10:00 - 10.30 • £5 per session
• Age 2 to 4 3 years • Thursday 10:00 - 10:30 • £5 per session
Parent & Toddler Music Group - FREE
Parent & Toddler Dance Group
Fun, Arts & Crafts Creativity Sessions
Call 01202 622 229 or email admissions@yarrells.co.uk At Yarrells Preparatory School & Nursery - Term Time Only
A warm & enriching school that achieves outstanding results
