Running Ahead Of Insecurity

Springfield High track star Cyan Kelso-Reynolds finds herself while discovering her love for athletics.

By Kindra Roy

The sandpit was lined with athletes in blue and white uniforms looking on expectantly. The distracting noise of the district track meet went quiet, blocked out by focus. A girl stepped up to the line, her eyes intent on the orange cone placed in the sand. At the signal, her legs lent explosive steps, propelling her toward the pit. With a leap into the air, she tucked her legs, shooting for the cone that marked an opportunity to compete at the next level. She landed in the sand and her team erupted in celebration. Cyan Kelso-Reynolds was headed to state.

As just a sophomore, Kelso-Reynolds sealed 4th in state in the 100 and 200 meter races, along with placing 5th in state in the long jump. She ended her second season of track and field with a 12.48 in the 100 and a 17’1” personal record for the long jump.

Confidence, it appears, is a big part of Kelso-Reynolds. It is evident in the way she walks, speaks, and competes. But it has not always been that way. For years, Kelso-Reynolds struggled to grasp a strong image of herself, rooted in a negative force during developing years that led to an absence of trust in herself and others.

Kelso-Reynolds lacked a meaningful relationship with her biological father. When her step-dad entered her life, her trust rose, and she grasped onto the figure that might show her he valued her. She moved in with the new father figure during her second-grade year, but shortly after, her hopes of what the move could bring began to dissipate.

She felt unhappy in the new living situation. “He was verbally and emotionally abusive,” she shared. “When we lived with him I was very insecure and not a very happy person.”

Kelso-Reynolds felt she was back to square one, let down again.

Leaving the negative environment, Kelso-Reynolds, her mother, and her younger sister returned to Springfield to live near family. The next year would be her first year in high school, and her mom encouraged her to join track. At first, Kelso-Reynolds was very unsure, but with low expectations, she eventually gave in.

“Immediately, I found out that I like [track],” she expressed.

It was early on her freshman year when she qualified to compete at an invitational meet.

“I was really surprised,” Kelso-Reynolds said. “That was the time I realized I was potentially good at this sport.”

Soon enough, she was running times that were competitive with the fastest female athletes on the team. She was starting to see herself as a runner. Kelso-Reynolds fell in love with the sport. She shared, “when they say ‘set’ and I’m on the blocks, I just zone out. I don’t hear anything, everything is quiet. And I just hear that gun go off and I’m gone.”

Kelso-Reynolds track and field abilities have quickly blossomed into stand-out performances, and she has grown on and off the track. “It feels great finding something that you’re good at. It’s that satisfaction when you put your heart into something, and you excel at that,” she shared.

Kelso-Reynolds’ experience has transformed other aspects of her life: her sense of self and her sense of others.

“Honestly, doing track and meeting all those good friends boosted my confidence so much. I’m the most confident I’ve ever been in my whole life,” she explained.

Kelso-Reynolds describes her teammates as not only a source of her self-confidence, but all of the joy she finds in the sport.

“If track was just a one-man sport, I would not be as happy doing it. It would just be me running from point A to point B,” she said. “Even if they don’t have an event they are doing at that meet, they are there cheering me on. They are there to support me even when I can’t support myself.”

With an encouraging community now surrounding her, Kelso-Reynolds believes in herself and the possibilities to come more than she ever imagined.

This rebuilt confidence and trust has translated into new passions and goals. Now, Kelso-Reynolds uses her courage to voice her opinions on equality. “It’s important to me that everyone be treated equally. It doesn’t matter who you are, how you are, or how you act,” she explained.

Kelso-Reynolds believes one of the biggest problems that needs to be addressed is the fear of differences. She shared that some problems include thinking “people of color are inferior to other people [and] thinking women aren’t as powerful as men.”

“We are all human beings. We are equal.That’s it,” she said.

Kelso-Reynolds shares that if people are willing to address the root of racism, sexism, homophobia and the like, as opposed to fighting hatred with hatred, healing can occur. “Many times, it’s in their mindset, it’s what they’ve been taught and all they believe in, and if you’re not taught another way, you can’t really believe in something else,” she explained.

“If someone is hating, there is often something going on in their life to cause that. If they have hate in their heart, there is a reason that is there,” Kelso- Reynolds said. “So stick up for people when you see racism, sexism, homophobia, or any time you see someone hating on somebody, but you shouldn’t hate back,” she continued. “You should try to teach them love.”

Kelso-Reynolds’ journey discovering her passion opened doors to new opportunities for herself and others. Using her newfound confidence and support from track, she seeks to inspire people to believe that things can change, and remind them that change will come through teaching, forgiveness, and fighting with love instead of hate.