Addition Magazine by sophie.anderson98

Addition magazine

Self

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Success

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Social 1

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Surroundings

Editor’s Letter

I am so pleased...

...with how Addition’s first issue has come together. It has been a pleasure to collaborate with other creatives and to hear the amazing stories of those of whom I interviewed. Addition was just an idea thought up in my head, so I was overjoyed with happiness when I heard back from people saying that they would love to get involved with the project.

lives so you can be more prepared when you face similar situations in your own. Perhaps you have a friend, family member, colleague or someone close to you that is going through something that you have never experienced yourself before; not only will Addition help you help yourself, but it will allow you to help others as you can better understand their situations.

This magazine is all about women helping to make each other feel empowered and understood, so I feel incredibly grateful for all those women who have contributed by investing their time and energy into helping me make this issue possible. They have all been so honest about their personal experiences and emotions so I cannot thank them enough for being open and trusting me to share their stories.

I believe that we can all learn something from one another. Ever since I entered into my twenties I have become fascinated with myself and my mind. Throughout university I have discovered so much about my personality, and yet understandably I still feel I have so much more to uncover about who I am as a person and what I am capable of. My desire to improve myself is still relatively new, and I am always reading books, listening to podcasts and talking with others to find new ways for me to continue to develop. If I wanted other women to be open about their experiences in the pages of Addition, then I needed to be completely open about mine too. Although I know it is an uncomfortable feeling to address your emotions head on, when I was writing about my own experiences I tried to be as brutally honest with myself as possible and I encourage you to do the same; real transformation requires honesty, love and compassion.

Some of the experiences that they talk about I have faced similar things in my own personal life. Although it is horrible to know that someone may be struggling with a similar challenge to what you are going through, in another way it is comforting to know that someone else understands your situation. Especially now with social media culture of presenting as if we have this “picture perfect” life, it is even more important that women share their reality and open up conversations surrounding the challenges that we may be facing. Some of the struggles that the women of this issue share I have never been through in my life...so far, and I think that is an important point to remember as you flick through the pages of Addition. Just because a story doesn’t directly relate to your life now, it doesn’t mean that it won’t in the future. We are constantly navigating through life and facing new obstacles that test us in ways we haven’t been tested before. These women are sharing the lessons they have learnt throughout their

This Issue Features... Editor-in-Chief

Our Founder and Editor-in-Chief, SOPHIE ANDERSON (@sophieemilyanderson) contributes heavily to this first ever issue of Addition magazine. Her vision with Addition is to shed light on female experiences and stories, and she felt it was only right that she share her own alongside the featured women of this issue. You can find her contemplation of her own perception of herself as part of our article on how “Three Women Took Control of Their Own Body Image” (page 8).

Contributing Writers

Travelling Solo: An Amazing Journey of Self-Discovery

In “Fighting or Flighting in The 21st Century” (page 22) ROISIN WEAVER (@roshweaver) offers three self care tips that you can implement into your life to help you keep calm in a fast-paced and stressful world. Currently on her year abroad, ALICE CARRUTHERS (@_alicecx) talks about how travelling solo has aided her own journey of self-discovery (page 94). Alongside her beautiful photography series (page 86), CHLOE DARNILL (@chloedarnill_photos) gives us an in-depth insight into the meaning behind her project. Darnill’s creative photography also features (page 66).

words by ALICE CARRUTHERS photography by JANA GILES

doubt if a year abroad hadn’t been a compulsory part of my degree, that I would have ever done it. I’m now so glad that I’m doing one, as the lessons it has taught me have built my character like no other experience could have. My name is Alice, I’m an undergraduate Modern Foreign Languages student at Newcastle University currently on my year abroad. Beginning this year was an incredibly daunting experience as it was the first time in my life that I would be apart from my family and friends for a such a long stretch of time. On top of that I was also aware that I was going to have to tackle it all alone, as oppose to when I was in Newcastle where atleast I had the safety of knowing my parents were only a short car ride away. Although my time abroad has been one of the toughest challenges that I have ever faced, it has helped me develop my self and discover a whole new strength within me that I don’t think I was aware of before. From my solo travel experience I have gained so much confidence and I hope this article inspires you to want to explore new places and discover new cultures.

Here are the three most important skills that I developed during my year abroad, when I left behind our little island, as well as every comfort zone I ever knew before!

A New Level of Independence

When I started my first year at university, I had never known independence like it. But believe me, you’ve not experienced solo life until you live abroad. University seems like a breeze in comparison – familiar healthcare and transport systems, rent agreements written in English and following a procedure you understand. Whenever I was confused about something, I would just ask my mum to explain it to me. However, when you’re left in a completely different country, where your parents don’t speak the language, let alone have a clue about how anything works, you’ve got to work it out all by yourself. From getting the right train ticket and avoiding fines, to visiting the doctors and paying your bill on time, to setting up (and closing) a bank account - all in a foreign language - you’ve got no choice but to suck it up and do it all by yourself. I now know I’m independent enough to do this anywhere, and university problems (like how to wash your clothes properly or know whether your food is cooked through) seem like a far cry away.

Photographers

The cover image for our first issue was shot by LILY BARBER (@lilybarberphoto) whose photography can also be found alongside “3 Reasons to Let Yourself Feel Your Emotions” (page 16). For “The Significance of Sisterhood” (page 72) ALEXANDRA BLACKBURN (@alexandra_elizabeth_blackburn) photographs two best friends, and as part of “Creative Liberation” Blackburn captures influencer Tamsyn Morgans (page 44). Photography by JOANNA WALKER (@j0anna_xo) sits beautifully alongside our article on rethinking our negative inner dialogue (page 30). Imagery by JANA GILES (@jana_giles) takes us on a trip round the world (page 94) and OLIVER LALL (@oliverxci) perfectly captures dancer Megan Rudling (page 56).

Collaborators

Drawings by JOSEPH BRENNAN (@joes_architecture) feature alongside our body image article (page 8) and JOEL BENJAMIN (@_joelbenjamin_) illustrates our Editor-in-Chief in a line drawing on the previous page.

Contents Self

Success

Three Women Speak on How They Took Control of Their Own Body Image Page 6

Rethinking Our Negative Inner Dialogue Page 28

Reasons to Let Yourself Feel Your Emotions Page 14

Stop Stressing Over Falling Behind in Your 20’s and Read This Page 34

Fighting or Flighting in the 21st Century Page 20

Creative Liberation with Tamsyn Morgans Page 40

Social

Surroundings

The Way She Wears It: How We Are Styling This Season’s Biggest Print Trend Page 54

More Than Skin Deep: The Importance of Acne Positivity Page 76

The Significance of Sisterhood: An Interview Between Two Best Friends Page 60

Travelling Solo: An Amazing Journey of Self-Discovery Page 84

Girl Power: What Does It Mean To You? Page 70

Moving for the Mind: How Does Dancing Make You Feel? Page 90

Discover more @Additionmag

"Knowing others is intelligence. Knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power" - Loazi

Self

Three Women Speak on How They Took Control of Their Own Body Image words by SOPHIE ANDERSON illustrations by JOSEPH BRENNAN

s long as I can remember I have been concerned with my weight and appearance, specifically worried about my body being too big. I think it began when I started competitive swimming at age 8. Whilst swimming made me feel amazing - from the feel-good exercise endorphins, to the sense of achievement when I got a personal best time in a race – I can’t help but wonder the negative effects it may have had on my body image. Being poolside four times a week surrounded by other children who are all wearing nothing but a swimsuit made me aware of the many different body types from a young age. I naturally began to compare my body to my peers and I found what I believed to be a pattern. At this age, I didn’t know about muscle, fat, cardiovascular fitness and everything - I just saw skinnier children who swam faster than me and larger children who swam slower than me.

Around this time, I had also just started high school. When attending the 12th birthday party of a new friend named Vicky, I remember I turned down the birthday cake and instead I asked if she had any carrot sticks. Looking back now I can laugh…I can’t believe I refused an opportunity to eat cake! During high school no thanks to puberty, I began gaining weight and I felt as if I was losing control. I needed a way to keep track so I began weighing myself on my parent’s bathroom scale. I would then enter my age, gender, height and weight into an online BMI calculator to see where I was on the chart. Then I would reduce my weight number to see at what figure I would be calculated as “underweight”. Whatever weight that was would be my goal. Although I still struggle to like the appearance of my body, my current mind set is so different from that of my younger self. Now I don’t view exercise as a punishment for my body but instead I see it as something that I am doing for my own enjoyment. I’m less concerned about my weight but instead I’m more interested in the amazing things that my body can do. In 2018, I ran my first half marathon, something that had been on my bucket list forever but I had never found the confidence or self-belief to start the training. Seeing yourself progress and realising new capabilities of your body is an incredibly empowering and motivating experience. During my marathon training I was excited when I felt I could run faster and for longer without tiring.

I was already skinny for my height, but at age 8 I began dieting because I wanted to be skinnier, I wanted to win my swim races. When I was 10 years old I remember feeling like the change in my meals and my intense training had paid off after I achieved a regional time for 100 metres breaststroke. A year later I would be dropped from the team as I wasn’t swimming fast enough for my age group. When I was 11 I joined a different swim team called Saracens. As a family run club the coaches were a lot more easy-going nevertheless I continued to put pressure on myself to be the fastest I could be, which in my mind also meant being the skinniest I could be. It was at this age that my concern over my weight became slightly obsessive but I still to this day insist that I never had an eating disorder. I was religiously watching America’s Next Top Model and aspired to look like the contestants - my eyes would be glued to the screen whenever they would show what they were, or more rightfully said, what they weren’t eating.

I took control of my own body image when I realised the amazing things my body can do when I act on feelings of positivity and acceptance as oppose to those of selfhatred. For this article, I speak to three inspiring women who tell me about their life experiences and discuss the journey they have been through in order to take control of their own body image.

Alyx is a 22-year-old Fine Art undergraduate. She has been victim to sexual assaulted twice, once by an ex-boyfriend when she was aged 15 and then by a co-worker when she was aged 20. For her current project as part of her degree she is curating an exhibition which displays the clothing of women who have been sexually assaulted. The exhibit is to tell the message that clothing, no matter how revealing, is never a signifier of consent. Do you feel pressure for your body to look a certain way?

Is there a certain time when you think your body image is most positive?

Yes definitely, I’ve always had some form of eating disorder and since I can remember I’ve always struggled with weight. Social media doesn’t help and the media and celebrities, but I’ve always put pressure on myself to look a certain way regardless of what anyone thinks. I know I’m skinny, I’m a size 6 now but I still suffer with thinking I’m too big.

It’s when I’m not thinking about it and I’m just living my life normally getting on with things. If I start exercising I get obsessive over it, so for me it’s better when I don’t put pressure on myself to workout. I’m quite luckily in the sense that I’ve got a good metabolism so I can eat whatever I want mostly, but I need to keep myself in the mind-set that eating shouldn’t be followed by feelings of guilt. It’s better when you can go out for a meal, or a cake, or a drink and not think “Omg I wish I hadn’t had that”.

If so, where do you think this pressure comes from?

What is your current relationship with your body image?

I think it’s myself in all honesty. I’ve had this pressure to look a certain way ever since I can remember, and this was before Instagram or anything. I did used to look in magazines and like the way the models looked, but I think the pressure ultimately comes from within myself. And that’s the same with anything I do, I think I’m just a very tough person on myself. Saying this, I can recognise the power that social media does have on people’s perception of themselves. Luckily, we were kind of the last generation to go through our teens and not have to deal with the online pressures of Instagram but even still we’re being influenced by it now. Even though you can scroll through and think “there’s a filter on that and maybe that’s been photoshopped” you can’t help but compare yourself to what you’re seeing.

I like it right now. I’ve always had an issue with my boobs because I think they’re too big for my body. Right now though I think I’m a bit chubby – I know I’m crazy! But I’m aware that I only think that because that’s the way I’m perceiving it. As well, I’ve been eating a lot of crap recently, like going out for meals and stuff and I can feel it in my tummy, it hurts sometimes afterwards…but I know in a few days time I’ll probably be fine. At the moment, I’m telling myself “you need to stop eating” but I recognise that this inner voice is really unhealthy. I know that I’m being hard on myself – it’s like I have an “evil Alyx” who is against food, telling me “You know you’re fat, you know you shouldn’t eat that” but at the same time I know that I am skinny.

Was there a time when your body image was most negative?

What is your current body image project?

Last summer. I had been a size 4, my smallest ever size, when I realised that I needed to gain weight to be healthy. I started eating a more balanced diet and began putting on weight. Because I had been so little before, then when I did put on weight I thought I was massive. It really put me on a downward spiral – I thought I was fat and it made me feel horrible. I would wear baggy clothes to hide my body even though I was still really small! This also came at a time that I was going out drinking a lot. I’d ended an abusive relationship earlier that year, and the year earlier I had been sexually assaulted by a co-worker. I was using alcohol socially trying to convince myself everything was fine and just trying to forget what had happened. What I’ve learnt looking back is that you can’t compare your current self to your past self, your body is constantly changing.

My project is all about bringing justice to victims of sexual assault and proving that no matter what they were wearing at that time, they were in no way “asking for it” through their clothing. I’ve been asking people to send me their clothes as well as their stories in the hope that it will start a conversation because I think there is still so much stigma around the topic. A lot of the girls that I have spoken to have said that it has affected the way they view their bodies. There is still this stigma that people think the victims do it to themselves which I find unbelievable – I could wear a thong if I wanted to and it still doesn’t mean I’m asking for it. For the project, I have submitted a pair of jeans, a bra and a t-shirt from both my experiences. After the second assault, I told my mum a day after it happened and

she took me to the police station. I remember I had a tight top on and I said to my mum “Mum they’re going to judge me for wearing a tight top”, I was convinced if I wore it that they would victim blame me. For a time after the second assault I just didn’t want to do anything – I wore baggy clothes and just stayed in my dressing gown. It affected every part of me, I didn’t feel normal, I felt dirty. The night of my second assault I was wearing jeans and a baggy shirt. I want the exhibition to empower girls and make the point that the clothes you wear shouldn’t be sexualised or seen as an invitation.

What advice do you have for other women whose body image has been distorted after they experienced sexual assault? Don’t blame yourself. Try not to hold anger in because I think that makes you ill in yourself. Everyone deals with things differently. You’ve just got to try take care of yourself and find healthy ways to make you feel better. Know that you’ve done nothing wrong at all, and I think that is the main thing but it’s also one of the most difficult things. Everything heals with time. Like I wouldn’t be able to tell my story a month after it happened, but now I can say everything quite easily. It still makes me feel sick but I don’t feel consumed by the emotions that I had previously felt. It’s horrible but just know that the storm will eventually pass.

Emily is a 24-year-old fashion, portrait and creative product photographer based in Norwich. As a teenager Emily was diagnosed with M.E/CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) which she says hammered her ability to live a normal life. To break up her days of having to stay at home, Emily began creating a series of self-portraits, something which she says helped her to improve her own perception of her appearance. Do you feel pressure for your body to look a certain way? If so, where do you think this pressure comes from?

Did taking the self-portraits have a positive effect on your body image? It resulted in a heightened self-awareness of my body for sure, and sometimes I felt like I was treading along a line between achieving compositionally pleasing shapes with my body and self-scrutiny. It was important that I made a distinction that myself and an image created using myself were not one and the same.

I do from brands and societal expectations, but do I submit to that pressure? Absolutely not. Originally, it was just my body I felt pressure about in the last decade or so of advertising, during my teens. But with the flux of influencers and lifestyle bloggers, it’s hard not to feel pressure for our entire lives to look a certain way too! I’ve yet to read about an era where women weren’t in a position of feeling pressured about their bodies.

Have you learnt to love your insecurities? If so, how?

Tell me what was the reason you started taking self-portraits in your teens?

I have accepted there are some things I can change and most things that I cannot (or will not). They are all aspects of me which are part and parcel of my personal truth, and my life experiences. Would I love to be able to wear boob tubes which won’t slide down to my waist, or jeans which can find where my hips are located and stay above them? Yeah, that would be nice, but fashion is much more accommodating to different shapes and sizes these days, it’s of no consequence to me anymore. I don’t know what it feels like to have a body different to this one, I wish I had more physical strength and stamina, but it does what it needs to do.

In 2006 I was diagnosed with M.E/CFS and that hampered my ability to live a ‘normal’ lifestyle for several years. I would break the endless cycle of being bed-bound, in my PJs all day, by getting dressed and brushing my hair, and I’d take my camera on a little tripod. I’d photograph myself just generally smiling. It was my mood-booster! I’d go home exhausted and sleep the rest of the day, but it felt good to photograph. 2019, and I’m still shooting self-portraits in between my collaborations and commissions. I believe that it’s a really important part of my practice as a Photographer.

What advice would you give to a person whose body image is being negatively affected by their M.E.?

How did taking the self-portraits make you feel?

Your body deserves kindness, and so does your mental wellbeing. Be gentle with yourself. Living with a chronic illness is like negotiating with your body every single day from the inside, so go easy on yourself. Do things which make you feel like you on your best days, and nobody else.

Self-Portraiture helped me to express my feelings, and to convey different personas. I am a storyteller and I hope that shows throughout all of my work. Self-Portraiture helped me to feel liberated, gave me an outlet, and to work at improving my skills as a photographer.

Jasrun is a 22-year-old undergraduate studying Fashion Communication and Promotion. Her main interest is in the beauty industry and her current project is creating an awareness campaign for brand Burt’s Bees. In this interview Jasrun talks about the more recent idolisation of “thick” and curvy women and the shame that this movement seems to put on more petite sized girls, and how this has negatively affected her body image. Do you feel pressure for your body to look a certain way?

Was there a time when your body image was most negative?

Yes, I do, however I don’t feel that I have given in to that pressure! I think there is a large amount of pressure on social media platforms (mainly Instagram and Twitter in my case) to be ‘thick’ and curvy because that is what both males and females praise online. I believe that all body types should be celebrated and until recent years being curvy or a bigger size was not considered ’desirable’, an example of this would be the lack of plus sized models, a lack of models bigger than a size 8 in the media and even in older movies such as Mean Girls insults about having a big ass were used e.g. ‘fatass’.

When I was a child I was told by relatives that I was underweight, they would ask my family if they fed me (as a joke) and why this may simply be a cultural issue, I was extremely self-conscious of my body growing up. I hated that my hip bones stuck out. I hated that my collar bones stuck out. I hated that my legs were so skinny that skinny jeans would look like straight jeans on me. I hated clothes not fitting me because fashion makes up a huge part of your identity and that was stripped from me. Eventually I made friends with other underweight people which was the beginning of my journey to relief and self-love towards my body.

Thankfully this negative viewpoint has changed and now curvy women are applauded online, but with this change I have seen skinny women being shamed for not having an ‘ass’ or curvy features. One prime example which offended me was Megan Trainor’s song ‘All About That Bass’ which aims to help women feel positively about their bodies regardless of how they look or how much they weigh. But it also uses the lyrics ‘bringing booty back, go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that’ and ‘boys like a little more booty to hold at night’, which makes me feel uncomfortable as I am skinny! This is just one example, but I feel a huge pressure to be curvy with a big ass to be considered ‘desirable’- not that I care about being aesthetically desirable to males. I don’t think your beauty should be measured by society’s standards of beauty or a man’s approval of a woman’s body.

What would you say to someone who skinny-shames other people? I always spin the dagger around when people comment on me being small or skinny or underweight and ask them if they would call a larger person big or heavy or fat or overweight to their face. For some reason, to some people, being skinny is not a negative thing so it’s okay to comment on their weight- which hurt’s sometimes! But the reality is weight it weight and all body types should be treated equally.

Have you learnt to love your insecurities? If so, how? Definitely. I learnt that everyone is born with different bone structures. Someone who is a size 12 has bones which are set further apart that someone who is a size 6 and whilst you can change your weight, you can’t change the predetermined structure of your body! I also learnt that everyone has different metabolisms and health problems which affects weight, so we should all embrace what we have and respect others too. As sad as it is, my body confidence was built up through compliments- despite my belief in not living by compliments. It took a couple (or more) honest positive compliments about my body to like it and realise that some people would love to have it, just like how I used to want others body shapes. Even now I still see girls with bigger boobs and butts online, but I remember that I need to love what I’ve been blessed with and think about the skinny girls online who are just as beautiful and working it! Also, your body should only be part of your identity.•

If so, where do you think this pressure comes from? Initially, I believe the pressure begins with music. It’s a medium which influences masses, whether it’s the lyrics of music videos- women are described by their body types often across many music genres. This then trickles down to social media where people feel empowered by lyrics and begin to post more body images, which usually gain positive feedback- which is amazing! It’s not so amazing when suddenly your body shape isn’t a trend and you begin to feel uncomfortable because your body isn’t shaped like those girls online gaining thousands of likes, retweets and compliments. I think you have to have thick skin in today’s social media heavy society, I admire other skinny girls who embrace their body and (seemingly) don’t care about whether they fit into the current curvy body trend. That has encouraged me to embrace my own body as it is and to work with what I got to be my level of healthy. But it is also easy for girls to give in and change their body through gym to match the ‘thick’ trend or to resort to surgery, which I have witnessed.

Tips for Body Positivity • Take time away from social media and get out of habit of having a comparison mindset • Throw out those “too small” jeans that you have been hoarding in your wardrobe • Learn to accept the compliments that people give you and start to believe them • Appreciate all the things your body can do • Buy clothes that you feel great wearing

Reasons To Let Yourself Feel Your Emotions words by SOPHIE ANDERSON photography by LILY BARBER

rom the time that we are children we are often under the impression that our negative emotions are an inconvenience not only to ourselves but also to those around us. We are told things like “Don’t cry” and “There’s nothing to be sad about” – phrases which have taught us to avoid unpleasant emotions at all costs. For many of us the primary impulse is to look for distractions to help escape our feelings or perhaps to completely suppress them all together. However, from my personal experience, I have found it more beneficial when I allow myself to be “in my feelings” as oppose to ignoring them. Here are some reasons why I think it is important that you allow yourself to process and experience your true feelings no matter how challenging and uncomfortable they may seem.

When you numb sadness you also numb happiness and joy

When I was 19 I went through a phase where I wouldn’t allow myself to feel any extreme emotions. It came about because I had the realisation that if I could experience happiness to such a heightened level of euphoria then I was just as capable of feeling sadness to the same excess. I’ve come so far in learning how best to deal with my emotions, so looking back now it is sad to think how pessimistic I was at that time in my life. Especially at times of sheer joy and positivity, I didn’t want to allow myself to feel comfortable in these feelings as I knew they wouldn’t last forever, so I would check in with myself and try bringing my emotions back to centre. The reality is that you cannot selectively numb emotions and I honestly don’t think that anyone should want to. Part of the amazing thing about being human is that we are able to have a range of emotions; experiencing sadness and hurt is part of what makes it so incredible to feel joy and happiness. Our feelings are constantly rising and falling naturally as we navigate our way through life. As difficult it can be to experience uncomfortable and negative emotions they are necessary and helpful parts of human experience that allow us to grow as individuals.

"Rather than fearing the emotions that we feel, we should engage with them to help us experience and proccess what we are feelings. Our emotions are often telling us something important that we should pay attention to" 16

Our emotions give signals of what is important to us

Trying to fight our feelings can often only lead to more suffering. We may try to escape what we are feeling using alcohol, drugs, binging or restricting food or other forms of negative harmful behaviour. Although these may provide us with a short-lived sense of relief, this response does not help us address the underlying problem and can make us feel even worse in the long term. Rather than fearing the emotions that we feel, we should engage with them to help us experience and process what we are feelings. Our emotions are often telling us something important that we should pay attention to. For example, when I found out that my friend Daniella got accepted onto a year internship working at the MTV head offices in London I was filled with excitement for her, but also couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help feeling somewhat jealous. After addressing this emotion inside myself I realised I felt this way because I am also passionate about pursuing a career in London. I processed what I was feeling and decided to switch my comparison mind-set into one that was instead orientated around my own personal goals. I switched up feelings of jealousy to those of motivation and channelled this energy into my creative work as I hope to pursue a future creative career in London.

Processing and experiencing our emotions makes us stronger

When we allow ourselves to feel our emotions we address them and begin to understand why we are feeling this way and thus we can think about what we can do to potentially feel better about them. The more challenging situations we face the easier it becomes to cope with our emotions. An integral part of being able to handle our feelings is the practice of self-compassion, which means we need to treat and communicate with ourselves the way we would to a loved one. I have taken a lot of inspiration from the saying, “You wouldn’t speak to your friends the way you speak to yourself”, something which has taught me to respond to myself with more understanding and encouragement as oppose to self criticism. Instead of beating yourself up for feeling sad, anxious or scared, instead allow yourself to feel these things whilst also saying kind phrases to yourself to help you put things back into perspective. Processing your feelings will allow you to access your inner wisdom and help you develop a faster bounce back ability in the future. Experiencing your emotions, allowing yourself to be vulnerable and admitting that you may need extra support from the people you trust is a sign of strength, not a weakness. Ultimately the way to move past a painful experience is to let yourself feel. I do this by keeping a journal; writing down all my happy moments, sad moments, what I’ve been up to and the lessons I have recently learnt. Some people might choose to express their feelings through artwork, talking to a friend or seeking help from a therapist – everyone has different healthy ways to process emotions. If you take away one thing from this article I hope it is the realisation that allowing yourself to feel your emotions will in many ways set you free.•

Our Emotion Tracklist Songs to allow yourself to be â&#x20AC;&#x153;in your feelingsâ&#x20AC;? to...

feeling Melancholy listen to

idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish

feeling Love listen to

Somebody Special by Nina Nesbitt

feeling Self-love

feeling Happy

feeling Calm

listen to

Classic by MKTO

listen to

Bright by Kehlani

listen to

Two Ghosts by Harry Styles

feeling Accomplished

feeling Heartache

listen to

My My My! by Troye Sivan

listen to

Consequences by Camila Cabello

Fighting or Flighting in the 21st Century words by ROISIN WEAVER modelling by GIGI BENFORD photography by LILY BARBER makeup by LAUREN ENGLISH styling by SOPHIE ANDERSON

ith the 21st century comes breakthroughs in medicine, advances in technology and the internet which offers a surplus of information at our fingertips and allows the world to be connected in a way it’s never been before. So why are more of us than ever struggling with our mental health, and more importantly what can we do about it? The advancements made in our modern world have been immense, with the progress accelerating exponentially. This of course comes with benefits: we can speak virtually face-to-face with our loved one who lives half way across the world, we can listen to thousands of songs instantly wherever we are, we can watch funny cat videos when we are sad. But with the rate at which the world around us is changing, our biological evolution can’t keep up. Our fight or flight response is now rarely preparing us to physically fight a predator or run to save our lives. Instead it’s giving us a racing heart before our big presentation, or churning our stomachs as we enter an exam or driving us into a state of panic for no immediate or obvious reason. The daily stresses we face have changed, and with that our responses need to as well.

So here are 3 self-care tips to help you keep calm in a stressful world.

Detox From Social Media

One of the biggest stressors facing young women today is social media. Whether it’s seeing photoshopped celebrities, not getting as many likes on your selfie or seeing that people made plans without you, the social media world seems almost engineered to bring out insecurities. We may be more connected, being able to see what your best friend ate for lunch or what your favourite celebrity wore to the Grammys, but a constant stream of content is overwhelming for your brain and can leave you feeling more alone than before. So take a break. Delete the app. Go outside. Meet up with a friend face-to-face. Live in the moment: look up from your phone and take in the world around you, without the itching thought of getting that perfect Instagram.

"Just like how a computer slows down when there are too many tabs open, your mind is the same. Close the tabs, shut off your mind and take some time for yourself"

Make Time for Self-care

Often it can feel like 24 hours in a day is no where near enough time to do everything you â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;needâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; to - there always seems to be something on your never-ending mental checklist that you should be doing. But when it comes to needs, your needs should always be above anything. If there are deadlines at your work/school/ university that are important, of course you should try and complete them but a balance is vital. Just like how a computer slows down when there are too many tabs open, your mind is the same. Close the tabs, shut off your mind from your checklist and take some time for yourself. Run a bath, watch your favourite film, meditate, do yoga, read a book - do something you love and, importantly, do it without guilt. There will be time to do everything you need to so make sure you take time for your mind.

Feed Your Mind and Body

A healthy body equals a healthy mind so try to take note of what kind of fuel you’re feeding your body and the effects this can have on your mental health. Recent studies have already began to establish the role the gut and it’s community of micro-organisms can have on the brain via the gut-brain axis; as it turns out, the gut isn’t just a food-churning machine, but instead plays a vital role in numerous processes within the body including emotional regulation. With this in mind, keep your gut happy with high-fibre foods such as fruit, vegetables, wholegrains and beans; make sure you eat enough protein, stay hydrated and try to reduce foods high in sugar and trans fats. Regular exercise, whether that just means some light exercise and yoga, is also essential to improving both physical and mental health. The rush of endorphins released after exercise has been found to help improve mild depression, protect against anxiety, increase self-esteem and reduce stress. So fill up your gut with nutritious food and treat your heart to daily exercise, and your mind will thank you too.•

End-of-Day Winddown • Create a to-do-list for tomorrow • Set an out-of-office email response • Switch off all technology, including phone • Tidy your workspace • Go for a walk, run or swim • Shower • Practice meditation or mindfulness • Take some time for yourself

"There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed" - Ray Goforth

Success

Rethinking Our Negative Inner Dialogue words by SOPHIE ANDERSON photography by JOANNA WALKER modelling by AMY CANNING

way you to talk to yourself”. The same consideration and care we show to those around us, we need to show to ourselves.

s human beings, we are constantly experiencing an internal dialogue whether it be consciously or subconsciously. It has been theorised that we have an average of 70,000 thoughts per day, although some argue with this specific number. The thoughts we have can be both positive and negative. Positive emotions are undoubtedly good for our minds. It is the negative ones that can be polarising. These negative thoughts can be beneficial, for example when we find ourselves in alarming situations, fears and negative emotions instinctually trigger the “fight or flight” response.

Once we begin to conceptualise and understand our thoughts, we can start to acknowledge if they are of benefit to our mind, body and soul, and we can shift the negative voices and the stories inside our heads into positive ones. I invite you to start thinking on purpose as oppose to allowing your mind to be led by negative and self-deprecating emotions. Tell yourself you are strong, tell yourself you are capable - change your life by changing the way in which you perceive it. Challenge your thoughts, minimize the influence negative voices have over you by questioning if they are really true. Rather than inducing feelings of fear and inadequacy, allow positive, uplifting, encouraging and motivating thoughts to overshadow the bad.

However, as Owen Fitzpatrick stated in his talk at TEDxTallaght in 2016, “a consistently unhappy inner dialogue takes us from thinking negatively to believing negatively”. Believing negatively debilitates us, as we convince ourselves that the misleading propaganda inside our minds is the truth. Everyone’ s experience of this is different as we all have our own personal battles that we are facing; perhaps we compare ourselves with others, we don’t feel smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough…we feel like we’re failing, we feel sad, guilty, fearful, we put too much pressure on ourselves and eventually crumble. American Actress, Alison Janney once remarked “I hear myself and I go, ‘I can’t believe you’re talking to my friend Alison like that!’ It’s really terrible the things we say to ourselves”. Another quote from an unknown author reads “you wouldn’t ever talk to your friends the

Following this article we have provided a list of common phrases that we often allow ourselves to believe and an explanation of how we may feel when we think them. In response to those negative phrases, we have provided a list of alternative ways for you to approach these emotions. Those suggested come from a place of love understanding and optimism as oppose to a place of self-depreciation and doubt.

Rather than thinking this...

Instead think about this...

“Will I ever find happiness?”

“I know my potential is unlimited and that I can create exactly the life I want, but I am so grateful for everything I already have”

“I can only be happy as soon as I have…”

“What can I be thankful for right now? What is already bringing joy into my life?”

Rather than thinking this... “My body will never look as good as theirs” “I hate my appearance”

Instead think about this... “I can transform my flaws by loving them and recognising that no body is perfect”

Rather than thinking this...

Instead think about this... “I love and forgive myself for any past mistakes I have made”

“I wish I hadn’t have done that” “That was such a stupid mistake I made and a waste of time”

Rather than thinking this... ->

Rather than thinking this... “They are so much better at that than I am” “I must be perfect at everything”

“I can’t change the past but I can learn from the decisions I have previously made, accept the outcome and move on to much bigger and better things”

Instead think about this...

“I’ll never be able to achieve that” “I will make myself look stupid if I fail”

“I am so lucky to have a fully functioning body that allows me independence, freedom and expression”

“I can’t do that right now, but I have faith in myself to figure out the steps to success in order to help me achieve my goal” “I give myself permission to be greater than my fears and to open my mind to the endless opportunities surrounding me”

Instead think about this...

“Other people have their own strengths and I have my own. I should start to focus on how I can collaborate with other people to help them develop new skills and them to help me develop my own” “I have many qualities, traits and talents that make me unique and I have so much confidence in myself to try new things”•

Stop Stressing Over Falling Behind in Your 20s and Read This words by SOPHIE ANDERSON

oung people are increasingly feeling a pressure to succeed by the time we’re 30. We’re anxious about everything from our future career prospects to relationships to experiencing the wonders of the world, and we are all wanting to live what we believe to be our “best life”. We’ve seen how young adulthood is portrayed to be idyllic in movies. We’ve been told so many times “your 20s will be the best time of your life” but, for many of us, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Sometimes it can feel like you’re the only one that doesn’t have everything figured out. Social media, and in particular Instagram, is full of people sharing the best bits of their seemingly perfect lives and we feel like we’re being left behind.

job, a car, a place of my own and a stable relationship” only point out how massively times have changed. Back then money had almost triple the buying power, real estate was more affordable and online dating platforms like Tinder didn’t give people opportunity to date as casually as some young people do today. As a twenty-something myself, I certainly feel the pressure to be successful in all aspects of my life. But realistically the idea that we need to have it all in our twenties is ridiculous – who put this idea in our head that life ends after 30? It’s so important that we push ourselves, take wrong turns, make mistakes and kiss a few frogs during this time of our lives. These experiences will make us stronger characters and will help us create our own definition of what success means.

You see young people getting rich from YouTube and Instagram and it seems as if it’s so easy, like their success happened overnight. With all these new platforms, more young people are stepping into entrepreneurship, driving nice cars, going on the best holidays and putting an image out there which makes you feel less than. We also feel pressure from our parents, who hold us to standards which were normal in their day, but are pretty much impossible to achieve today. Unhelpful comparisons like “When I was your age I had a well-paid

For this article, I interviewed 3 subjects each with a different story in response to the pressures we feel being in our twenties. I hope that their interesting experiences and inspiring words gives you peace of mind and allows you to let go of the pressures that you may be feeling.

Anxiety No.1 "I should have definitely finished school by now and know my future career aspirations" Andi Sapey (55) Associate Lecturer at NUA and Freelance Photographer What career path were you on in your twenties/what jobs did you have? I had so many - after school I moved to London and worked everywhere from a supermarket, to packing boxes and sweeping floors in a warehouse as well as dashing around the city as a bike courier. I later returned to Norwich because I couldn’t afford to live in London. After I moved home I had a range of jobs – I worked making cups of tea and occasionally filling holes and fitting panels in a body repair garage, then I was on a 6-month contract working at the front of Norwich doll office helping find jobs for other people and later I became a bus driver! I also briefly worked in an abattoir which was a strange time in my life especially as I was, and still am, vegetarian. As well I worked quite successfully for 2 years as a self-employed gardener – I loved the experience and had some nice clients but the job became a lot harder in the winter weather. I used to feel embarrassed talking about working in the supermarket and driving the buses, but through these roles I met so many people and had experiences that have shaped me to become the person I am today. Most of the jobs though I disliked, I was doing it for the money and knew I didn’t want to do them for the rest of my life and I knew that my abilities were worth more.

he’s worked 40 years to get a watch. It was as if this was the future I should aspire towards but I knew I didn’t want to go in that direction with my life. Having has the experience travelling and meeting all sorts of different people, when I returned I realised I needed to find something that I could make a career out of. I attended night school pursuing graphics, but my interest in photography was always there. At the age of 27 I now had the qualifications I needed to enter art school, and so I applied and was successful in joining Yarmouth Art Uni. After graduating I went on a 2-and-a-half-year trip travelling around Nepal, India, Thailand, Indonesia, Cambodia, Vietnam, Burma and Australia. During the trip, I filled 408 rolls of film (digital photography was only starting so it wasn’t affordable to me) and on return my photography was featured in a number of platforms such as Time Out, Nepal Airways and Thai Airways. For my first job after university I facilitated creative image making workshops to people with learning disabilities and those with asperges and schizophrenia. They were amazing people, it inspired me how they communicated in a different way to how society tells us to communicate. After that, I worked for a design agency as a junior - making teas and coffees until they recognised that I could work a camera! I was made in-house photographer and picture researcher a role which I held for 6 years. However, in 2005 I turned 40 and decided that I wanted to work for myself. I took the redundancy money, bought a digital camera, rang up all the contacts I had made from the agency and started to become freelance. In 2008, I became associate lecturer helping students across photography, publishing, graphic communication, effects and fashion communication at NUA. Present day, I enjoy working with students as well as doing photography freelance and branching out into creative direction and film.

How did you come to the eventual realisation of the true career path you wanted to follow? When I left school in 1981 I came out with 1 O-Level (GCSE) in Art. It wasn’t until later in life that I would be diagnosed with dyslexia. With this kind of result, I was doomed to go into factory life but I knew something would happen for me with creativity. When living in London and in Norfolk I was massively immersed in the punk scene, constantly surrounded by inspiring people who were all creative artists and makers who didn’t really fit into the system. They were all kind of dreamers in a way. This was one of the factors that helped me realise my true career path as even when punk culture died out, I always maintained the punk mentality that I could break boundaries and make something for myself out of life.

How did all your other roles prepare you for this chosen career?

In 1990 I decided I wanted to go travelling and so made the big step to leave my job working as a bus driver. I remember I handed I my notice at Eastern County Bus Station and the other drivers said “Are you crazy? Look at Bert over there, he’s just retired after 40 years and has been gifted a gold watch for his service”. I thought when I’m retired I don’t want a gold watch. You know

Without having done any of my other jobs I wouldn’t be who am I today. I developed myself so much; I gained self-confidence, took on various responsibilities and strengthened my communication skills. I also built my self-belief by putting myself in situations where even though I had no idea what I was doing I just had to get on with it - and with every mistake I made I learnt

to get on with it - and with every mistake I made I learnt a different lesson. This is the same with how dyslexia challenge my learning; I have now found that the best way for me to learn is by doing something repeatedly until I know how to do it. Going to night school was another part of my life that prepared me for my career. It was something I did for myself, something I was proud of. It taught me to experiment, explore myself further and discover an inner self-confidence.

way I see the world and the ways I see it differently to others. Even though I was diagnosed with dyslexia, I don’t see it as a disability instead I see it as a fortune. As a mature student, I knew if I had gone to university straight out of school I wouldn’t have been aware of my dyslexia and I wouldn’t have had the extra life experience I gained from working so I don’t think I would have gone down the path that I did.

What advice do you have for people unsure of what career they want to do?

How do you think going back to education after years of working gave you an advantage and improved your studies?

If you have a desire to do something, you should always try to pursue it and not give up. Being in the creative industry a big part of it is about communication with others and hard work. Get involved with the things that you want to do, be open and don’t say no to new opportunities. Don’t forget to have the balance between career and social because breaks help you perform better and bring you new creative ideas. For me, I have so many different interests like music, culture and travel – all are so important to me and continue to influence my work today.

When I was in secondary school I didn’t enjoy it and I didn’t excel myself. I wasn’t bad and I didn’t get into trouble, but I could have applied myself more to learning. Returning to education as a mature student strengthened my learning experience because it meant that I could bring all my knowledge I had gained from previous jobs. I was also returning to education this time knowing that I had dyslexia. At first the diagnosis was a big blow, but then it helped me understand the

below left - Andi during his 20’s photographed sporting his punk fashion style. below right - Present day Andi photographing English alternative rock band Kill It Kid.

Anxiety No.2 "I need to have achieved my biggest success story before I turn 30" Gracie Laine (27) Entrepreneur, CEO and founder of ethical clothing brand AK Threads What is the ethos behind AK Threads? The AK threads ethos is to align artisanal practices with modern design to create functional clothing with a point of difference. I believe in holistic comfort and confidence for both ends of the supply chain, for both the makers and for the women wearing the pieces. Many ethical brands can be really expensive so I wanted to develop a brand that had ethics and sustainability at its heart yet still being accessible especially for the younger generation. We’ve formed a word “considered living” which means we’re all about functionality without sacrificing appearance and quality. I wanted to create clothes that are classic but can be versatile depending on who is wearing them.

I really wanted to see a change in the industry so I knew I had to act. When I returned from India in July 2016, I still had many doubts but that didn’t stop me from launching the brand’s very first collection three months later in November. Afterwards I still felt unsure as I hadn’t made many sales and this weakened my confidence but I still believed in the brand. And then I applied for an internship in Kenya at a manufacturer called Soko which is known for operating sustainably and ethically. Whilst working there for 3 months my confidence was knocked again because I realised there was so much I still didn’t know about the manufacturing and production side of fashion. But interning there was an incredible experience and taught me a lot of what I needed to know. I think the many knock backs made me more determined. I also realised that you have to fake it till you make it – it’s cliché, but I don’t think anyone is ever really confident and knows what they’re doing all the time, however as long as you can make other people see your confidence in an idea then you can achieve anything.

What made you realise that you wanted to create the brand? I studied Fashion Design at Lincoln University and after I graduated in 2012 I struggled because I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I have an innate passion for design, but I knew that I didn’t want to work for a big fashion brand where their values and morals weren’t aligned with my own. Ethical fashion has always been the catalyst for me – I’m motivated to promote the importance of sustainability in fashion.

Was your business proposal met with any resistance? Up until this year I didn’t really have a defined business proposal. In 2018 I attended a branding course and the mentors were tough – they really drilled down on me and the brand. “What is the business? What does it mean?” they also asked me to define the brand DNA in 3 words – they made me question everything. It was like I knew what it was in my head but it hard to put it into words. That forced me to think about what the brand is and what it stands for.

After researching online, I found an ethical manufacturer in India and so I went over there for a year to work at the factory. I this role I was working with other brands helping them create their designs and from that I thought “Well I could do this for myself”. I had always wanted to create my own business but didn’t have the confidence. I told my friend in India my idea and they said “Just do it! Why don’t you? Stop talking about it and just do it!” After that I realised being in India gave me the perfect opportunity to follow my creative aspirations. I began researching, making designs and sampling with the manufacturers. I dove in head first, not knowing how things would plan when I returned to the UK in terms of forming a brand. My focus has always been on the product and the people and then the brand came afterwards.

What lessons have you learnt since launching and operating the brand? So many. Last year when I changed my manufactures, I had to learn to be more assertive in that I needed to make my sure my needs and expectations were clear to the production team. I learnt that I had to be firm with my production time frame whilst at the same time understanding the limitations of the artisans. Most of the time it is just me dealing with issues so I have shifted my focus to find solutions rather than dwelling on problems. I’ve also delved deeper into the branding side of things, specifically I have realised the advantages of understanding your customer. This allows me to keep the customer at the heart by considering what they want to see and buy from the brand.

What experiences have you been through throughout your 20’s to feel confident to set up your own clothing brand? At first it was naivety in the sense that I knew I wanted to create something and I didn’t necessarily have the confidence but I have always had the drive and passion to promote the message of sustainability in fashion.

Are you looking forward to the brand progressing further and do you see an exciting future for the brand?

Can you offer advice for any budding entrepreneurs who are wanting to start their own fashion brand?

I would love to grow the business and to employ a team. When I started the brand, I felt like a bit of a control freak, I wanted everything to be just how I imagined so I would do everything myself. But gaining Marta, my first intern, has shown me what a team is capable of and how involving other people can build the brand as everyone brings their own unique ideas. I realise now that I don’t want to do everything because I know my strengths are and I know my weaknesses. Having a team of people brings together so many different skill sets so I have no doubt that will help the brand grow. As well working alongside Marta keeps me full of energy, I feel inspired again after our meetings! For the future, I hope to increase brand awareness and purchases so that I can keep continuing to create more collections, more ranges and collaborate with more artisans.

Just do it! There will never be a right time and you’ve got to develop and evolve as you figure things out along the way anyway. As long as you’ve got a strong sense of what you want to do as well as the drive and motivation, then there’s no way that you can fail. Be prepared for adversity – If I had known when I started the brand what it was going to be like and all the troubles I was going to face then I probably never would have begun. The production of the last collection went really wrong – some of the garments were incorrectly made and the time scales were very delayed – I asked myself if it was even worth carrying on. It’s important to remember that things grow with time and to get better at things you just have to try even if you aren’t 100% confident at first. Everything evolves, just have the confidence to start and don’t let fear stop you.

below top - Gracie discussing fabric samples. below bottom - Gracie posing with the local Artisans in India.

Anxiety No.3 "I feel like I need to have my whole life figured out by 30" Ruby Mogford (31) Senior Designer at Bethan Gray Design What pressures did you feel in your 20’s?

What is it actually like being 30, is it better than you imagined?

The pressures I felt in my early 20’s were very different to the ones that manifested themselves in my late twenties. I graduated in 2009, right in the middle of the recession, so the big pressure at that time was to get my foot in the door in the design industry. At the time, that meant working for “expenses-only” internships in London. I’m very lucky in that both my parents live a commutable distance from London so I was able to work for free. Six months after graduating I was offered my first full-time paid job. After that I had an absolute ball in my twenties, I was pretty much care-free right up until I hit my very late twenties, which I when I started being aware that I hadn’t ticked any of the imaginary boxes that represented being a “successful human adult”.

Definitely better than I imagined! In my head I still think I’m 24, but in the blink of an eye I’ve racked up 10 years experience in my industry, and with that have gained a confidence and self-belief that I lacked in my twenties. That’s not to say that I don’t still have wobbles of self doubt, but I’ve also learnt to recognise those traits in myself, and I feel better equipped to shake them off and crack on.

What advice would you give to someone who is anxious to have their whole life mapped out by the time they reach 30? I’d say that we’re going to be living until we’re in our 80’s or longer if we’re lucky. Why should we have hit all the targets in the first quarter? So if you feel that you’re not where you think you should be yet, remember that you’ve got plenty of time to figure it out. Equally, if there’s something in your life that you’re not happy with, don’t be afraid to change things for yourself. Just don’t compare yourself to others around you, to quote a phrase I recently heard - comparison is a thief of joy.

Where do these pressures come from? Mostly from me I think, I was comparing myself a lot to friends or friends of friends who were ticking those boxes. You do meet the odd person, normally someone who doesn’t know you very well, who asks when you’re going to settle down, gives advise about getting your foot on the ladder, or offers the age-old “don’t wait too long have kids”. When those golden nuggets are gifted to a single 28 year old, with no savings, no bank of Mum and Dad and astronomical monthly rental payments, if feels a little bit useless.

What are your ambitions for the future? I’ve just started a new job so my most immediate ambition is to make a success of my new role! In the slightly more distance future I’d love to start a family with my partner, and until then I hope to make the most of my holiday hours and travel to see a bit more of the world.•

Were you worried about turning 30 and if so, why? I’m ashamed to say that I had a big freak out about turning 30. At 29, I was single and didn’t want to be, frustrated in the job that I was in, and by then I had a few friends who had started getting married, starting families and getting mortgages. Those were things that I had always assumed would be in my future so when I was 24/25 that all still seemed very far away and wasn’t something I dwelled on. The year before I turned 30, that changed and I was very hard on myself, I felt like I hadn’t achieved anything that “an adult” was supposed to have done at that age, and I felt like I was failing. My poor Mum had to deal with many teary phonecalls that year.

Creative Liberation

photography by ALEXANDRA BLACKBURN words & creative direction by SOPHIE ANDERSON styling TAMSYN MORGANS assisted by BETHANY Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;BOYLE

Tamsyn Morgans wears many hats as the mother to her two children, a home-maker, a mentor, the owner of the blog “The Villa on Mount Pleasant” and as of 2016 she became a full-time freelance photographer, stylist and content creator. For this feature, Tamsyn kindly let us photograph her in her beautiful home and shared with us her inspiring stories and experiences in a candid interview about her life. When did you embrace creativity as your main career path? Well I’ve always been a creative person - in 1993 I did my foundation course at Maidstone Art School, before attending Winchester School or Art to study textiles. It was a course that explored textiles in a very fine art way. It was a great opportunity but I wasn’t mature enough at that age to continue there – I just wanted to party, and although Winchester boasts a lot of pretty architecture, it doesn’t have much of a party scene, or at least it didn’t when I was there. So after 6 months I dropped out, moved back home to Tunbridge Wells and got a job in Sainsbury’s. In 1997 I moved with my then boyfriend to Manchester where I stayed for 3 years. It was here that I began modelling for a commercial model agency. I had the best time working on cool shoots - sometimes cheesy stuff, sometimes fashion, other times sportswear and I was earning good money! Then in 2000 I met

my husband and moved to Norwich where I began working at Sandra Reynolds model agency as a booker. In 2016, during the time me and my husband decided to divorce, and whilst I was renovating my new home, I made the decision to quit my office job and go freelance. I was 41 at the time and I remember thinking to myself “If I’m going to do this I need to do it now so that I can build up a name for myself in the industry”. I knew that I wasn’t suited to sitting in an office, being given rules and creating for someone else - so going freelance was an amazing feeling. As I was building a name for myself I tried to work and learn as much as I could. I did assisting work to build up the money so I could eventually work fully freelance. Today I work as a photographer, stylist and content creator as well as assisting other photographers too.

Can you talk to us about the story of your house renovation? In 2016, myself and my husband decided to get a divorce and so we needed to move out of the marital home. It was a challenging and stressful period because we both stayed living in the home with our 2 children whilst juggling trying to sell the house whilst at the same time looking for new places of our own. Ideally, I wanted to stay in the same area however I struggled to find a house within my budget - everything I looked at was either way out of my price range or too tiny to live in. I was looking on Rightmove about 50 times a day when this property came up. It was on the opposite side of the city and from the pictures it looked a bit of a mess but I thought I’d give it a view. When I visited, it was disgusting; it was smelly, it was dirty and the owners had stuff everywhere in all the rooms. I tried to envision it without all the stuff – as I walked around I looked at the ceiling to give me a gauge how big the space really was. The room sizes seemed generous and I noticed the Victorian features of the house even though they were being hidden behind all the piled-up stuff. It was in a state but I knew it could be beautiful. By the second time I viewed the house I knew I wanted it to be mine. And a lot of my friends and family worried about me taking on the house project at a time when I was already going through a lot anyway, but I knew it was going to be great. I told them not to worry and that I would get the house featured in a magazine…today it’s been photographed for about 10 interior magazines. Coming to this house was a massive turning point for me in my life and it’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

"Coming to this house was a massive turning point in my life and it's one of the best things that have ever happened to me" 45

To what extent do you feel an emotional connection with the house, to me it feels like you repaired the house as you were repairing yourself? I was a bit worried that it might be weird living in a new home and I thought it might feel creepy sleeping in the house at night, but I never experienced that. I’ve always felt so at home and comfortable here. It feels a part of me as a person and perhaps that is because I no other choice than to embrace the house. I do think houses are very personal and spiritual. I’m so happy living here and it makes me even happier that both my children who are now 13 and 10 love it here too.

Even before the house was finished it seemed like you had already created happy memories here as your friends and family helped you with DIY work. How did their support with the renovation project make you feel? I felt so lucky and grateful to have my friends as well as both my parents who travelled from Sussex to come help me. It was even more helpful that my dad is brilliant with DIY and carpentry - we built the kitchen ourselves out of reclaimed palettes, installed the doors on the cupboards and fixed the sink in, which actually came from a friend’s garden. I felt over the moon that people gave up their time and came to help me clean and scrub and pull out the carpets - which were revolting! I have an amazing network of family and friends, I’m beyond grateful for their love and support.

As an instinctively creative person, how do you differentiate between commercial projects and personal ones? I’m lucky that I tend to choose projects that I can get really excited about. Sure, sometimes there is a deadline and I get in a bit of a tiz when the work is mounting up, but generally I love doing my job. As my career progresses I’m able to use my house more for work, which for me being able to work comfortably and create content in my own home is the absolute dream. The companies that approach me are generally ones that suit my aesthetic which I would describe as magical still life with a vintage twist, so the commissioned work I do is well suited to my own creative interested. Creativity is something which relaxes me but in terms of personal creative projects I sometimes struggle to find time for that. I would love to have a day where I just create for fun, but when you’re running a small business I’ve got so much other stuff to sort and deadline to meet. As well, I think a large part of my job is online and social media never stops. Although I love it, I could be working all weekend on my blog or my Instagram because it’s never ending, so perhaps I do need to have a better work to life balance.

"I've always felt so at home and comfortable here. It feels a part of me as a person and perhaps that is because I had no other choice than to embrace the house"

What creative projects are you hoping to do in the future? Now I’m exploring photography more. I’m a self-taught photographer so it’s all a learning curve for me. For the last 3 years, I’ve been working as an assistant to a photographer which has been an absolutely amazing experience. It’s all a learning curve for me but this year I’d like to photograph more people. I’m really inspired by the work of Cindy Sherman, a photographer who was big in the 70’s and 80’s known for her cinematic style portraits. One day I would love to put together a book and sell prints of my work too.

What advice do you have for someone trying to get into the creative industry?

Creative Project Ideas

I think if you’ve got a dream then you need to be prepared to have to claw your way there and be willing to do whatever you can to reach your goals. In the beginning, be ready to take on jobs that aren’t necessarily the end game because these roles will massively help you gain experience and build up valuable contacts. From my personal experience, assisting photographers has taught me so much about how to take photographs and how to do it well. Matt Keal, the photographer who I assist, has been in the industry for over 25 years and he is amazing at teaching me his process, and that’s why I still do it because I learn something new from him every day. To be successful always be efficient, always be nice and always keep learning.•

• Start a photo album • Learn to play a musical instrument • Write a journal to document your life • Put together an inspiration moodboard • Paint a series of portraits in different styles • Make a playlist of all your most loved songs • Rather than throwing away old belongings instead challenge yourself to upcycle them • Create a scrapbook of all your favourite photos, occasions and memorabilia

"Always make sure you are working and surrounding yourself with people who help make you a better version of you, and kindly avoid those who don't" - Don Roff

Social

The way she wears it

This season designers are championing everything from leopard to snake and even zebra print. The great thing about animal print is that, though it is attention grabbing, what with all the spots and stripes, it’s actually a neutral, meaning you can wear it with everything. Here is how we’re styling it. styling by SOPHIE ANDERSON modelling by CONNIE MALIM makeup by ELEANOR HARNDEN photography by CHLOE DARNILL

coat VINTAGE jacket NASTY GAL trousers ASOS shoes TOPSHOP headband ACCESSORIZE

shirt ASOS coat TOPSHOP belt GLAMOROUS skirt RIVER ISLAND earrings ACCESSORIZE

The Significance of Sisterhood: An Interview Between Two Best Friends photography by ALEXANDRA BLACKBURN styling & creative direction by SOPHIE ANDERSON modelling by GEORGIE EVE & KIMBERLEY PHILLIPS

How did you both first meet, were you friends right away?

What do you look for in a friend? KIM: In a friendship, I think it’s important to always be there for each other and to help the other out when we’re they’re experiencing a bad day or needing support in some way.

KIM: We knew of each other from our partners as the boys are good friends but we didn’t get to meet till around October 2017 on a shoot. We both hit it off straight away and have been friends ever since.

GEORGIE: For me, it’s important to find friends who truly care about me. I’d want someone who is going to be there for me no matter what, when I’m sick, down or in need of help. I’d obviously want someone who doesn’t judge me and someone who I feel comfortable to be completely myself in front of. I’d describe it as a relationship of mutual affection.

GEORGIE: We knew each other through our boyfriends, but had a shoot together where we became friends, I just fell in love with her!

How do you both support each other? KIM: One thing that I have learnt is that Georgie doesn’t realise just how strong she is or the amount to which she is capable of. I always feel proud when she posts pictures of her artwork and paintings, she’s unreal at what she does. I try to motivate and support her by telling her that she can take it far and be successful with it. And she always believes in me when I don’t believe in myself which I appreciate very much.

Most Likely to... Watch romantic films?

GEORGIE: I have learnt so much from Kim. She is older and wiser than me and I think that’s why I look up to her so much. Kim is also partly deaf so through our friendship I have learnt about how people cope with being deaf, and how hard it can be in social situations. Recently I have started to take a course to learn sign language as well and I can’t wait to master it!

KIM SAYS

GEORGIE SAYS

“Probably both - who doesn’t love a good romantic film?”

“I reckon both of us would watch a cheesy rom-com or something”

Most Likely to... Have a pet dog

Most Likely to... Live somewhere abroad

KIM SAYS

GEORGIE SAYS

KIM SAYS

GEORGIE SAYS

“Both. Georgie already has a pet dog. I really want one but got to wait till me and my partner have our own house!”

“I already have a dog but I know how much Kim wants a Frenchie! So eventually we both will”

“If I had a choice I would just like to live in Seychelles. I know Georgie also likes somewhere warmer”

“Defiantly Kim! I reckon I will move to Norwich and stay there forever because I honestly just love it here so much”

Most Likely to... Randomly break into song and dance

Most Likely to... Start laughing at the wrong moment

KIM SAYS

GEORGIE SAYS

KIM SAYS

GEORGIE SAYS

“I can definitely say it’s Georgie!!! Then she will make me do it with her!”

“I think both - that’s happened on a few of our nights out together”

“Definitely both of us. We have bad thing where we both will laugh together over a moment where you shouldn’t laugh!”

“I would say me - I can be quite embarrassing and can’t help myself even at the best of times”

How do you guys feel when you’re both hanging out together? KIM: When we hang out with one another, it’s so chilled and always such a laugh. It’s never a bother to meet up with each other; it’s not like I think “Ah I have to hang out with Georgie today”, it’s just like spending time with someone you really enjoy being around. GEORGIE: When I’m with Kim it is so effortless. I feel totally myself and completely comfortable around her. She puts me at ease as she’s so calm and friendly - I need someone in my life like that as I’m quite over the top sometimes and I’m a bit of a worrier. Everyone says what a beautiful human Kim is. Hanging out with her is the coolest thing and conversation is never strained.

What do you do to keep your friendship alive, especially as life get so busy? KIM: We both don’t get to see each other as much as we would like because of my job. But in terms of how we keep our friendship alive…it really isn’t a chore - it’s so natural, we talk every day and always keep in touch. Whenever we’re both free we arrange to meet or have a night out.

Most Likely to... Take pictures of everything

GEORGIE: We don’t get to hang out as much as we would both like but life is crazy so we understand. We message a lot when we need someone to talk to or with advice, or even to just have a laugh!

What are some of your favourite memories together? KIM: Doing photoshoots together. My first memory of her was she was so scared and felt like she couldn’t model - I remember telling her that she could do it and showed her what she could do. She’s pro at it now GEORGIE: When Kim turned up to shoot with me for the first time, I remember how insanely pretty I thought she was (and tanned as she just came back from a holiday). She was a lot more confident with her modelling than me and she gave me so may tips and made me feel at ease. She’s a pro at what she does.•

KIM SAYS

GEORGIE SAYS

“That’s something I’d do. I am always taking random pictures of everything! I like to make memories so when we are older - we have things to look back on”

“A tough one to call, but I would probably say both of us for this one as we’re both equally as creative and both have an eye for things”

Girl

Power The word feminism is heard all the time, but how is it really defined? We wanted to find out what feminism truly means to our readers...

What does feminism mean to you?

Doing whatever I set my mind to, pursuing my career and achieving personal goals; regardless of the expectations placed upon my gender. That drive, to me, is feminism.

Marta (21)

Are there any particular women who inspire you? what is their impact on you? There are a few women that have made an impact on me in different areas of my life. Career-wise, the loveliest girl boss and founder of a sustainable clothing label AK THREADS, Gracie Sutton. Her determination, commitment to conscious lifestyle and kindness towards others. She’s kept on inspiring me ever since I started gaining work experience with her brand. On a personal level I’d say my mum and my closest friends.

How do you empower women around you? I treat them the same way I’d want to be treated, not as a selfish act, but as an act of love towards them. I make sure to be there whenever they need me, regardless if it means a heart-to-heart over coffee or a 1:1 InDesign support session. One more thing, I give them flowers, cause you cannot rely on men’s common sense.

Zara (20)

What does feminism mean to you? For me feminism started out being just about girl power and celebrating womanhood, but now I see it more than that a movement that’s necessary that encompasses both genders and those within LGBTQ community: it’s all about equality.

Are there any particular women who inspire you? what is their impact on you? I’m inspired by hardworking women, in particular I will always be in awe of my mother. She has worked hard to get to where she is while raising three children, gone through an abusive relationship and working within the male dominated building industry. Rihanna I have always idolised, she is comfortable in her own skin and represents every women within her business ventures.

How do you empower women around you? I try to push them to try new things and I think I do this by giving love and support. But being comfortable and confident with yourself makes empowering others easy as empowered women empower women. In general I just want women to reach their full potential and if that means going out of my way to help someone I will.

What does feminism mean to you? To me it’s about empowering one another no matter our gender. My background is Russian, so I was brought up with the mind-set that men are the bread winners. In this culture women can be belittled and I used to see that all the time. Now I feel that I’m a strong independent female and I can do whatever I want.

Liza (21)

Are there any particular women who inspire you? what is their impact on you? I work with a lady called Emma who runs events; she is dedicated to her work but she knows the balance between work and family life. Victoria from InTheFrow, she is 30 and has taken time to focus on her career and I totally respect that because I think that you have to do you first before you can commit to a family. And my sister inspires me to be a better person, she is kind and loving, and is always supportive of me.

How do you empower women around you? I try to help the women around me by giving advice and sharing experiences. I try to always be there for my friends and even those who I don’t speak to often, I want them to know that they can rely on me too.

Eleanor (20)

What does feminism mean to you? I heard of modern feminism in my early teens and immediately started identifying myself as a feminist even though I had no idea how to be a feminist or what the issues were until years later. Now I’m an intersectional feminist and I’m still learning everyday by listening to the women around me and by doing so I’m growing and becoming a better person.

Are there any particular women who inspire you? what is their impact on you? Gina Martin, an activist, reminded me I don’t have to be a politician to make change, that anyone can if you just persevere and keep striving for what’s right. I love that she’ll always been 100% herself and I think through her personality and personal style she’s shown that you shouldn’t have do dress drab to be taken seriously.

How do you empower women around you? Friends and strangers alike will hear “I love your earrings”, “your eyeliner’s amazing” and “you’re so kind”, it’s such a little thing but I know how it makes me feel when other people tell me those things and everyone deserves to hear good things about themselves.

What does feminism mean to you? The first time I heard about feminism was through Lady Gaga - in an interview she was described as a feminist and spoke about her experiences of being a female in the music industry. It is very important to me that men and women are equal, especially in regards to the field that I want to go into which is graphic design. Where only 1 in 5 designers are female in the industry.

Tasha (20)

Are there any particular women who inspire you? what is their impact on you? The women who inspire me most are those in the industry, such as Emily Benton and Rachel Joy Price. Who were both once students at Norwich University of the Arts. Seeing women thriving in such a competitive, male dominated industry only makes me want to work harder and aim higher. What seems like an obvious choice, my Mum inspires me to be a better woman

How do you empower women around you? Be kind, even when people aren’t kind to you. There’s so much competition and trying to make yourself seem better than everyone else. It’s all about lifting each other up, not bringing one another down.

Nina (21)

What does feminism mean to you? To me, feminism is ensuring equality amongst all gender. I first heard it through word-of-mouth, but the feminist movement itself has been increasing popular through social media. I think that it’s something that women has been craving since the beginning of time, since our roles as women was always belittled.

Are there any particular women who inspire you? what is their impact on you? For me, the women that has inspired me has always been from my family. My mother has always been my biggest inspiration as she is driven, kind and empathetic towards others. Apart from family members, I think that I’m also inspired by strong female characters who are portrayed as someone who is confident in herself.

How do you empower women around you? I would always support and encourage my female peers around me. I will help them believe that they can achieve anything they set their mind to, and not to worry about gender roles and barriers. They should be confident in themselves, and the work they make. They should also be confident that they are women.

What does feminism mean to you? I understand that “feminism” is a way to gain equal rights between men and women, specifically focused on work environments and pay. However, it has further depths of general treatment and perception of women.

Vaineta (21)

Are there any particular women who inspire you? what is their impact on you? I believe that all the women in my life inspire me, and it would definitely be for different reasons. The obstacles they face and overcome on a daily basis or at some point in their life, their talents/hobbies, their personality traits. Whether it’s a story or a way of life, surrounding myself with such people hopefully makes me an inspiration to someone else one day.

How do you empower women around you? I know the impact of someone’s smile or a simple compliment. I always ensure to boost other girls up. Such a small gesture can make another girls day and girls are the best people to support each other due to our unbelievable instincts to empathize and nurture. Sometimes it’s not about knowing the right thing to say to make someone feel better but just being there.•

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Surroundings

More Than Skin Deep: The Importance of Acne Positivity words by SOPHIE ANDERSON photography by CHLOE DARNILL modelling by CHLOE DARNILL, ELEANOR HARNDEN, HOLLY CYPRIEN, JOSIE POINTER & LORNA KELLY

cne is often thought of as a trivial problem, but it is evident that having acne can have a massive impact on people’s lives and their self esteem. Our society enforces it’s emphasis on appearance along with it’s unrealistic standards of beauty for both men and women. In recent years there has been increased acceptance of different lifestyles and appearances which are outside of society’s norms, for example there has been more representation of plus-sized bodies in the media. However there is still little conversation around the topic of acne.

For this story we talk with photographer Chloe Darnill who tells us about her most recent project titled “My Beautiful Skin”. The photo series, which features 5 models including Darnill herself, aims to break the taboo that still surrounds having acne. Can you tell us what your “My Beautiful Skin” project is about?

And what was the inspiration behind this project?

My Beautiful Skin is a small portrait series exploring acceptance and finding beauty within our physical flaws rather than self-deprecation. The project also expresses the normality of experiencing having acne, it’s something that so many people deal with, yet it remains surrounded by embarrassment and taboo. Each shoot for this project involved just myself and the model, I wanted the girls to feel relaxed and understood. We each sat bare faced, knowing exactly what the other was dealing with; it was amazing to hear each subject’s experience and watch them grow more confident in front of the camera. Making the photo series almost became a way of having a small support system of girls all going through the same thing; strangely, acne can be a very lonely thing. Despite it being a bit different from my usual style, this project is still my favourite and most emotional work I have ever made.

Honestly, a few things pushed me to make this project. Over the last few years, I have dealt with my skin being the most problematic is has ever been; I cannot count how many times I have been in tears over it. Without sounding over dramatic, the sadness from having bad skin can be debilitating. In a lot of cases, especially mine, acne doesn’t just look bad, its painful! Recently, I found myself in a place where I felt like I was ready to move on from feeling so down about my appearance – I’m tired and over it. Alongside this, I’m always retouching the photos I take; I began feeling conscious and guilty for covering up human flaws and inflicting that negativity onto other people, be it those looking at my work or the models in it. Retouching is and probably always will be a part of my practice, I enjoy the process and find it fascinating to create an image of what is impossible in real life. However, I felt that if

I could open up and offer photos that reflect reality and celebrate our insecurities, I would have room to carry on retouching in a healthy way – for myself and others. From here, I naturally fell into self-portraiture, the topic was so personal that it only felt right to start with myself. After creating my own portrait, I furthered my research and studied artists such as Sophie-Harris Taylor and her project Epidermis. Taylor’s words ‘the skins of women less often seen’ rang so true, it was my lightbulb moment of realising that while body positivity is becoming more popular, there is hardly anything to be said for skin positivity. Even though I related to Epidermis, I didn’t like the way the models were in strange poses and some looked a little sad in their facial expressions. Thinking back to skin positivity, I wanted to see women/girls who looked content and happy in their own skin, and so came my own series.

pressure is off, there’s no embarrassment and images become more experimental and freer. In terms of being in front of the camera rather than behind it, I enjoy the break and change in process. Surprisingly, I really like not wearing makeup; the less makeup on my face, the more I feel like myself. I was comfortable showing my skin however, I expected to find it difficult to find a pose and lighting that would flatter my spotty face rather than make it look worse. However, once I had my lighting sorted, I realised that all I had to do was relax and be within myself – I concentrated on how I was feeling rather than how I looked. When I came up with the idea for My Beautiful Skin, I knew that I need to focus on myself before going forward. You can’t really help others before you’ve helped yourself… Doing so made me so much more aware and sensitive of how the other women were feeling on set and people were more open to getting involved in the project knowing that I had taken part too.

What do you hope the audience learn from seeing your project imagery?

What do you think the media could do to help audiences embrace their skin imperfections rather than hating them?

The most important thing I hope the audience takes from this project is how perfect skin/appearance does not make you beautiful, being human does. Beauty is not always something to see, it is something to feel. Each and every one of the women in my pictures are so unbelievably beautiful because they opened up, they were vulnerable, confident, emotion and real. This question is actually quite hard to answer because I hope that there are so many things to learn from these images and the amazing girls who let me take their photo. I really hope anyone who sees my work can realise that it is possible (and important) to love yourself and feel confident despite physical flaws. It’s a round the world journey, but you can get there! Finally, Acne. Is. Normal. Acne is so unbelievably common, it’s shocking that we don’t talk about it more often or see more of it in the media. If you’re struggling with acne and feel totally isolated, I promise that you are not the only one.

Wow, there are so many things! People could be more real online… Instagram is a highlight reel of life’s good parts, but maybe we could share some of the more vulnerable and difficult things too? Since this project, I realised the importance of this even on a small scale. I’m no Taylor Swift with 115 million Instagram followers, but my little sister’s friends follow me and other people who struggle with acne follow me; I want to leave a positive impact on those people, to show them reality as well as my retouched fashion work. Just last week I shared a new self-portrait I’d made (separate to My Beautiful Skin), the shot was retouched but I shared a makeup free, in the heat of a nasty breakout selfie along-side it. I hope my sister’s 15-year-old friends will see how even the most believable of images are most likely retouched and we must be okay with the before and after versions of ourselves. I’m okay with my retouched face and I’m okay with my pimples and scars!

You feature in the series alongside the other barefaced models. How did it feel being in front of the camera for a change and being completely make-up free?

Personally, I’m not a fan of the ‘influencer culture’, but I think I would be if more influencers used their platforms for good rather than for promoting unrealistic and impossible standards as well as quick-fix products. Until more people start sharing their flaws online, we have a responsibility to ourselves to manage who and what we follow online. Sorry, but you’re going to have

I actually love self-portraiture! Not really in vain way, but because it’s such a different experience from shooting a model. Maybe it’s like self-care for photographers? No one to think about other than yourself, all the

to unfollow all those toxic accounts! Unfortunately, I think expecting acne scars and a huge, juicy pimple on the newest Maybelline add is massively unrealistic. However, brands and publications could definitely do more; It’d be great to see some skin campaigns as well as body positivity campaigns, magazines could feature more unretouched or makeup free editorials.

How have you personally learnt to feel comfortable in your own skin? Time and patience have helped me a lot. Some days I’ll wake up and just loath my skin, I’m full of resentment and sadness over it but other days I genuinely don’t think about it. I had to learn to ride out these ups and downs because they’re inevitably going to happen. Accepting that not every day is going to be a good skin/ confidence day helps me to deal with them when they arrive. Like I said earlier, following healthy Instagram accounts really helped to shift my thought patterns! I follow accounts about photography, yoga, embroidery, dogs and my favourite people rather than aspirational accounts. I try not to follow people because I wish I had their skin or I wish I had their lifestyle, it only makes you reflect negatively on yourself! Naturally, I’m a bit of a skin care junkie. Other things I really enjoy are learning about health and more natural/holistic skin care and remedies. However, at one point I was so consumed by it that it ruled my life and made me completely miserable. Not only that, last year was a pretty tough year for me, there was a lot unhappiness going on. Over time, things in my personal life got so much better and I also eased up on my diet and skin care. It wasn’t until recently that I noticed that not only has my skin improved, I am feeling so much more confident and comfortable in myself. Don’t get me wrong, I still have really low self-esteem days and days were my acne is literally raging, but on the whole I’m doing way better! Turns out, feeling comfortable in your own skin, isn’t actually all about your skin. Becoming more relaxed, finding things that made me happy and surrounding myself with positive people meant that I was spending less time stressing about my skin and more time enjoying life. For me, a stressed-out mind makes for stressed out skin. I probably feel most comfortable and accepting of my appearance when I simply embrace the way it is, take care of it how I can and focus on enjoying myself!•

Positive Online Influences Chloe also shared a few people on Instagram who she loves to follow. She says they are all advocates for positivity and self-love and help smash those stupid beauty standards. • Jameela Jamil @jameelajamilofficial • Chessie King @chessiekingg • Melanie Murphy @melaniiemurphy • Sarah Stevenson @sarahs_day

Travelling Solo: An Amazing Journey of Self-Discovery words by ALICE CARRUTHERS photography by JANA GILES

Here are the three most important skills that I developed during my year abroad, when I left behind our little island, as well as every comfort zone I ever knew before!

A New Level of Independence

"Although it's really uncomfortable at first, you gradually get into the swing of things, and before you know it, you are thriving - and not just surviving!"

Adjusting To New Environments

Permanently being in a new country is always going to be tricky and it will teach you a lot about adaptability. You’re immediately thrown out of your comfort zone, and everything is new: food, culture, weather, people, attitudes and language to name just a few. All of which you have to deal with day in, day out, 24/7. I found myself craving British TV shows, just so I could lose myself in some normality. You have to adapt straight away, and there’s nowhere to hide - especially when you have to start a new job on top of it all. When you move abroad, life as you know it is changed in an instant. Being able to go along with this and adapt to it is such a valuable skill that I’ve learnt, and I know it’ll be useful in years to come. Although it’s uncomfortable at first, you gradually get into the swing of things, and before you know it, you’re thriving - and not just surviving!

Finding My Inner Strength

Above it all, the most valuable lessons I’ve learnt since living abroad are about myself. Being completely on your own, on a different land mass to your loved ones (or sometimes in a different hemisphere) has a knack for teaching you about the things you find difficult. I know now how sensitive I am, especially when living abroad. As much fun as it can be, it’s also really, really difficult and the smallest of things can make me disproportionately sad. And on the flip side, something like mastering the bus system for the first time can keep me elated for days. I know now how much I love my home, family and culture, and I’ll always miss it desperately if I’m away. I’m also so much braver than I thought. Although a lot of tears have been shed in past months, I’ve stuck it out and never given up. If you’d have told me a year ago that I could have the confidence to live thousands of miles away from home, and actually enjoy it, I’d have thought you crazy. But as my comfort zone has grown, living abroad gradually gets easier and easier with time, and I know I’m built to withstand it. Travelling has given me an endless amount of beautiful opportunities. I’ve seen and done so many things that I never imagined I’d get the chance to do, such as dune buggying through the desert at sunset, or getting drunk with my friends and skipping round my favourite capital city on a random Friday after work. I’ve also now seen the Queen film twice, neither time in English, and miss blaring the songs with my flatmates and hearing them try to pronounce the lyrics. I can’t wait to come back to university in Newcastle and share all of my travel stories, and I’m excited to see how much my friends have grown from their experiences too. When I’m done with studying, I’d love to visit Japan and Northeast Asia, and my ultimate goal is to find a job in my favourite city of all time, Berlin. None of this scares me like it would have a year ago and I’ve learnt so many invaluable lessons and skills that I’ll carry with me for years to come. Now that I’ve lived abroad, I feel like I can conquer anything!•

Moving for the Mind: How Does Dancing Make You Feel? photography by OLIVER LALL modelling by MEGAN RUDLING words by SOPHIE ANDERSON

efore I started university I really only thought that people chose to exercise for vanity purposes. I hadn’t realised all the other benefits of exercise until I was talking to my first year flatmate, a regular gym-goer, and she told me all the other reasons that she loved exercising. Not only did it give structure to her day, but she found working out to be a great release of unwanted stress and energy. As well as this she also got all those great endorphins that made her feel accomplished and more motivated to take on the day ahead of her. I think that viewing exercise as something which more benefits the mind as oppose to something we do in order to change the appearance of our bodies is such a healthy mindset to have. It gives exercise a positive connotation as oppose to it being something that we punish our bodies with. Many people think that a gym membership is compulsory when you want to exercise, but in reality there is no right or wrong. Anything that gets your heart rate going, allows you to move your body and makes you get a bit of a sweat on will get the job done perfectly!

With the incredible popularity of fitness classes such as Zumba, people are realising that being fit doesn’t mean slaving away for hours in a gym. Dance is one way to keep in shape and reep all the rewards of exercising in a fun and enjoyable way. For this article we talk with Megan Rudling who began dancing when she was just two years old. When did you start dance and why?

How does dancing make you feel?

I started dancing when I was around 2 years old, so in 2002. I cannot remember much from when I started but my mother said that throughout most of my class I would insist on being carried on my dance teachers hip for cuddles.

It makes me feel confident. I’m most comfortable when I’m dancing and I couldn’t imagine my life without it, if I’m sad I dance, if I’m happy I dance. I danced at the Open Youth Trust for 6 years and one of the most emotional dances I did was “The T-shirt video” to the song “Until it happens to you”. Each student was given a plain t-shirt and we had to write something that may hold us back or worry us. This fuelled our performances and most of us cried while performing.

I began because my mother loved dancing and she wanted me to love it too. I’ve always danced and I’m grateful for my mum giving me that because I’ve had so many amazing opportunities. My first dance school was Lisa’s Stars Dance Academy. I was with them for many years doing ballet and street, I still talk to my teachers now and they support everything I do.

Can you explain a little about the pointe performance you did last year at the Norwich Theatre Royal?

What style/styles of dance do you do?

This had been the biggest stage that I’ve ever performed on throughout my dancing years. I had my usual weekly classes and dedicated several months of them for this performance. This was my last ballet performance before moving away for university which meant this performance was quite important to me because I had no idea when I would do ballet again.

Currently I’m doing lyrical for University but I’ve done multiple styles such as ballet, tap, street and jazz. Ballet was my first and then I just kept expanding from there as I got older. Adding new styles was always exciting, it just adds to my experience and knowledge of dance.

"I'm most comfortable when I'm dancing and I couldn't imagine my life without it. If I'm sad I dance,If I'm happy I dance"

How did your performance at the Norwich Theatre Royal make you feel? It’s difficult to explain. Waiting in the wings is the most nervous I’ve felt for a ballet performance, before going out on stage I reminded myself that I am ready and I do know the dance, I’ve practiced plenty. Once I stepped on stage, I was ready to dance the best I could, and I do feel that that show was one of my best. I was so proud of myself and I still am. My mum, nanny and sister came to watch me perform and they were so excited. After the performance, I got flowers from my nanny, a tradition of hers and they were so proud. We couldn’t really believe that I performed on that stage.

Accessible Dance Videos Dancing is a great feel good activity as it releases endorphins into your body. However classes are not always the most affordable, as well, at Addition we understand that our readers lead busy lives, and you can’t always invest hours a day into working out. That’s why we have made a list of our favourite dance videos on YouTube so you can bust a move wherever and whenever you like!

How would you say dancing positively benefits your wellness and mental health? Dancing allows me to have a break, although it’s hard work and tiring it’s something I enjoy and find fun. If I’ve had a bad day dance can make me feel better by distracting me. It’s also said that while studying it’s helpful to have an artistic activity and with help with your progression in your work.

• POPSUGAR Fitness - 30 minute Cardio Latin Dance Workout • Fit Body by Ashley - Beyoncé Dance Workout: Coachella Inspired • BeFit - 10 Minute Dance Abs Workout • OneHowto - Zumba Dance Workout • Rachella Nisson - 40 minute Dance Cardio Total Body Workout Routine

For professional dancers there is a lot of pressure on dancers to start young. What advice would you have to anyone who wanting to pursue dance later in life? Dance schools do tend to offer more youth classes than adult but there are classes out there. You should definitely go for it, it’s great for fitness and a great way to socialize.•

"Part of the amazing thing about being human is that we are able to have a range of emotions; experiencing sadness and hurt is part of what makes it so incredible to feel joy and happiness" SOPHIE ANDERSON

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