the thing i think about most is that there’s an infinite number of possible things to think or say or do so how do you know if that’s what you are supposed to say [are they subconscious things just below the surface, do all the possible things to think already exist somewhere just not in the space of our consciousness, or are they potential energies]
know which to do and when you do finally produce said thing, what makes you choose that specific thing? like honestly it just seems like there’s so much fucking clutter over everything, i’m constantly decluttering everything, yet when i’m faced with a clean room, a clear schedule and a calm mind, i feel like it’s so wrong. ever since i can remember being conscious it has been natural to worry about something, or feel ill over something.
Releasing
100
Trying
75
50
25
0
April
May
June
July
I don’t want to be seen as messy or stirring up negative energy I just want to be light and airy …………. positive light gentle and pure it’s funny because i feel like my intentions are just that, so innocent and caring yet I feel like I have this energy inside that’s just dark and ugly. but honestly that’s everyone and i can’t be perfect but I just need to work on releasing the negative energy, in private or through creative ways, and then emit rays of light
Some chapter titles from a book I am reading that I can’t stop thinking about: • Overlooked Trap #1: Pretending
• You Already Don't Exist
• THE CLOSED LOOP OF SELF REFERENCING PERCEPTION • Manipulating Ourselves versus Changing Ourselves
I think some people are susceptible to being stuck in the same fucking loop for what feels like for fucking ever. I think that could be true if one doesn’t choose to be self-aware or is
not cognizant of their habits, patterns, and styles of thinking. I try a lot of different things every day and I feel caught in that loop however that must not be true because even being aware of some aspect, or trying something, etc. must move you even a baby step forward. ?
poison
100
pure light
Beauty
Pain
May
June
75
50
25
0
April
July