E M B R AC E YO U R S E L F
EMBRACE MAGAZINE
94
MIND
Deconstructing Mental Barriers The value of mental empowerment that comes from intentional unlearning of societal expectations, social structures, and beliefs BY KATIE McCULLOUGH
A
dear family friend of mine, who has been an out gay man since his early 20’s, was raised in a strict Southern Baptist community. Since he was a child, there has been a deep disconnect between his upbringing and his sexual identity. His family and friends all drank the proverbial Kool-Aid of a toxic church culture, erasing any and all potential for a safe queer space. His parents actively reinforced the exclusionary beliefs of their church at home, denouncing all probability that their son could be born gay. Unfortunately, this is a tale as old as time for Christians choosing to ignore the love and inclusivity of Jesus.
Now in his 30’s, my friend is out and living with his boyfriend and their little pup. What is seemingly a victory in living his truth, the homophobia of his formative years simmer beneath the surface, occasionally emerging as guilt, depression, shame, and even self-proclaimed homophobia. He is finally living the life he was born to live, but simultaneously refusing to put in the work of deconstructing the painful fabric of his childhood. The question remains: is the deconstruction really necessary or even worth it? Undoubtedly, yes. In a world where, according to the Suicide Prevention Resource Center, the suicide rate for the queer community is up to three times higher than that of the straight community, it is apparent that conversations still need to be had about deconstructing false ideologies we were raised with. After all, no one is born homophobic. Personally, I have been on that journey for the better part of a decade and am continuing to acknowledge my deeply rooted false ideologies that contradict my queer identity, thus greatly impacting my mental health. In the same way diet and exercise to improve our physical health after avoiding it for years can be strenuous, exhausting, and sometimes painful, acknowledging and actively deconstructing your mental barriers can be equally as taxing, if not more so. It is definitely not a journey to be taken lightly. However, in a world where trans rights are still in question, in a world where 30 states still support conversion therapy (Trevor Project), in a world where there is still so much division and ignorance, this intentional effort is wholly necessary to preserve our mental health as individuals and as a community. The fight for an all-inclusive space, both in our communities and in our own minds, begins with a healthy dose of empathy, perspective, and grace.
KATIE McCULLOUGH Katie McCullough, graduate of Flagler College, is currently teaching English Language Arts in Saint Augustine, Fla., specializing in gifted and exceptional education. Prior to attending graduate school, Katie plans to pursue her passion for writing while finding time to travel the world.
ILLUSTRATION BY JOSH CLARK
HEALTH
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MIND B O DY SOUL
