Copyright © 2011 by BJ Gallagher Published by Simple Truths, LLC 1952 McDowell Road, Suite 300 Naperville, Illinois 60563 800-900-3427 All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by any means—except for brief quotations in printed reviews—without the prior written permission of the publisher. Simple Truths is a registered trademark. Design: Simple Truths designer Lynn Harker Photos: ThinkStock and ShutterStock Printed and bound in the United States of America ISBN 978-1-60810-142-9 01 WOZ 11
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Dedication
with the gifts my d lle fi e ar t ar he y m My life and s of e—gifts of time, gift friends have given m encouragement and of s ft gi , ng ri ca d listening an er. This book is ht ug la d an ve lo of s support, gift nds— all my wonderful frie to ft gi u yo kan th y m . and deep appreciation with love, gratitude,
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A True Friend ‌
Accepts you, just as you are. A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are. A non y mous
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Unlimited love No judgment or criticism Constancy over time Open arms, open mind No strings, limits, or prerequisites Doing what’s right Intent to listen and learn Time and attention generously given Inter-dependence Open heart, open home Needing one another Affirming others’ goodness Loyalty in good times and bad 8
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No Strings Attached No strings attached, , no terms and conditions vations … no hesitation or reser that’s how you love me. I am, You embrace me just as u. and I do the same for yo Mutual trust and respect, acceptance, unconditional love and other’s wellbeing … commitment to each that’s what we have. In other words, true friends. we’re
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A True Friend ‌
Believes
in your potential. A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. a non y mous
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people I’ve learned that ou said; will forget what y what you did; people will forget er forget but people will nev em feel. how you made th Maya Angelou
The glory of friends hip is not in the outstr etched hand, nor the kindl y smile, nor the joy of compa nionship; it is in the sp iritual inspiration that com es to one when he discov ers that someone else believe s in him and is willing to trus t him with his friendship! Ralph Waldo Emerso n
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It’s so easy for women to slip into self-doubt and feeling inadequate. After all, we shoulder a lot of responsibilities – being supportive of our mates, nurturing our children, staying in touch with extended family, holding down jobs while holding down the fort at home. No wonder we sometimes feel anxious, exhausted, insecure, second guessing ourselves. We need to know we’re not alone.
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We need to hear that other women share our experiences. “Atta girl” never sounded so sweet as when coming from the lips of another woman. She understands, she’s been there, done that. She gets it – she gets me. We take turns encouraging, supporting, cheering one another on. We learn to do it for ourselves, too. Just reach right over your shoulder, girl, and pat yourself on the back.
You’re terrific, and you and I both know it.
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Cheering Me On “You can do it,” one friend says. “Yes, it’s a stretch, but go for it anyway,” another urges. “You’re so talented— I’ve always admired you,” still another joins in. My friends are cheerleaders— a chorus of possibility.
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Their words of encouragement compete in my mind with the sirens of self-doubt who sing songs of defeat and despair. Who do I listen to? The cheerleaders.
Louder please, girls, I’m feeling a little shaky today.
n a c You
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A True Friend …
Comforts you when you’re sad.
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When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
Henri Nouwen
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That Which is Shareable is Bearable I’ve learned that if I can share my troubles, I can bear them. It’s true. It makes me feel better to have you around when I’m down. Your presence reassures me; your listening soothes me; your hug consoles me. It’s nice to have company – even if it’s in the pits. I don’t need cheery platitudes of positive thinking or booming bravado urging me to “buck up.” No … What I really need right now is just the comfort of your company…
and maybe a little chocolate. 18
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True friends provide COMFORT ‌ Caring companionship Open arms Much love Food that nourishes and soothes On-going support Really good listening Trust and confidence
ou in ride with y to t n a w le p someone is t Lots of peo n a w u o ut what y en the limo, b ith you wh w s u b e th ke who will ta aks down. re b o m li e th
ey Oprah Winfr
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A True Friend ‌
Delights in your successes. Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose. Ten nessee W illi a ms
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A Tr ue Fr iend K nows t he Va lu e of L AUGH T ER … L oving life, with its ups an d downs A ppreciating what’s right w ith the world Understanding our own qu irks and eccentricit ies Going for the gusto (and th e guffaw!) Having fun wherever and whenever we can Taking life seriously, but ta king ourselves ligh tly Eager to embrace life’s lun acies Ready to grin at every oppo rtunity
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d n e i r f r e h t a e w An all my friend
to be rd time, a h It’s easy a g havin when I’m ng so well. oi g hand, n i not d p l e h ta hold ou s d n e i r Some f e tea m e offer of advic t i b a h t i w own inside uperior. s t d i b p e e l e t it and d teensy l riends a t s u j l ther f fee a e w l u o se f But tho ar like clouds . pe improve disap n my fortunes he w
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But you’re here in foul weather and fair. You delight when I’m o n top of th flying h e world, igh, reve ling in suc cess. Your big sm ile says, “’Atta g irl! Way to go!” You know that my ac hievement doesn’t diminish y ours and there’s plenty of su ccess to go ar ound. 23
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CELEBRATE! “Good news!” you announce happily when I answer the phone.
“I got the promotion!”
We squeal excitedly like a couple of schoolgirls.
“Where shall we go to celebrate?” I ask.
“Pizza and beer or steak and champagne? You choose. I’m buying!”
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I’m as happy as if it was I who got promoted.
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For joy multiplies when it’s shared. And next time perhaps it will be me with the good news.
“Woo hoo! I landed the book deal!”
I’ll fire off in an e-mail to you.
A zillion happy faces will come back in your cyber reply.
“Celebrate?” you write. “This time, I’m buying.” “You bet,”
I’ll type back.
“How about Friday?” That’s the whole reason to have good news, isn’t it? So we can celebrate with a true friend.
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Weho pet ha ty o ue nj o y e d r e a di ngt hi sf r e eo nl i nepr e v i e w. Y o uc a npur c ha s et he c o mpl e t eb o o ka ta nyt i me b yv i s i t i ngusa t : www. s i mpl e t r ut hs . c o m