The Pitch: February 14, 2013

F EBRUA RY 14–2 0, 2 013 | F R EE | VOL . 3 2 NO. 3 3 | PI T CH.COM

FEBRUARY 14–20, 2013 | VOL. 32 NO. 33 E D I T O R I A L

Editor Scott Wilson Managing Editor Justin Kendall Music Editor David Hudnall Staff Writers Charles Ferruzza, Ben Palosaari Editorial Operations Manager Deborah Hirsch Calendar Editor Berry Anderson Food Blogger, Web Editor Jonathan Bender Proofreader Brent Shepherd Contributing Writers Tracy Abeln, Theresa Bembnister, April Fleming, Leslie Kinsman, Chris Milbourn, Dan Savage, Lucas Wetzel Editorial Intern Katie Miller

A R T

Art Director Ashford Stamper Contributing Photographers Angela C. Bond, Chris Mullins, Lauren Phillips, Sabrina Staires, Brooke Vandever Design Intern Chloe George

P R O D U C T I O N

Production Manager Christina Riddle Multimedia Designer Vu Radley

A D V E R T I S I N G

Sales Manager Erin Carey Senior Classified Multimedia Specialist Steven Suarez Multimedia Specialists Michelle Acevedo, Collin Click, Page Olson Director of Marketing & Operations Jason Dockery Digital Marketing Manager Keli Sweetland

C I R C U L A T I O N

Circulation Director Mike Ryan

HEARTBREAKERS

B U S I N E S S

Accounts Receivable Jodi Waldsmith Publisher Joel Hornbostel

All crushed out on these

S O U T H C O M M

12 Kansas Citians.

Chief Executive Officer Chris Ferrell Chief Financial Officer Patrick Min Chief Marketing Officer Susan Torregrossa Chief Technology Officer Matt Locke Business Manager Eric Norwood Director of Digital Sales & Marketing David Walker Controller Todd Patton Creative Director Heather Pierce Director of Content/Online Development Patrick Rains

N A T I O N A L

A D V E R T I S I N G

VMG Advertising 888-278-9866, vmgadvertising.com Senior Vice President of Sales Susan Belair Senior Vice President of Sales Operations Joe Larkin

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OUT OF THE BOX William Inge haunts a onetime drag bar on Troost.

D I S T R I B U T I O N

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COFFEE DATE Boulevard has a new

C O P Y R I G H T

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PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRIS MULLINS & SABRINA STAIRES

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THE PITCH

FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

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here once was a man from Labette, whose Sharpie was so big he could … write more with it? That’s the kindest way to explain one Kansas driver’s application to put BGPEN15 on his vanity license plate.

The state said no. And it says no a lot, judging by the list of rejected vanity-plate applications that are visible at the freedom-of-information clearinghouse governmentattic.org. For $46, Kansans can use up to seven characters to express themselves in, the state says, “any available combination as long as the message does not contain a profane, vulgar, lewd, or indecent

meaning, symbol, or connotation.” Naturally, some citizens view that guideline as a challenge. How, they wonder, can I fool the Man into letting me show fellow drivers my BALLZ? Among the hundreds of recorded attempts to defy statute, taste and common sense (most often using forms of the words ass, bitch and pimp, give or take the occasional BXLICKR), these are our favorites. We like them so much, in fact, that we wanted to see how they’d look on the road.

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THE PITCH

FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

pitch.com

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»— Karina Parreño —h

Age: 30 Job: Co-owner, Milk & Honey Relationship status: Recently started

dating somebody.

What’s your go-to drink? Moscow Mule What’s your guiltiest musical pleasure?

Disney music

What’s the last thing that made you cry?

Slicing white onions for kale soup. Gets me every time.

What’s on your nightstand? A pile of unfi nished books.

What’s the coolest thing in your home? A blowtorch. I like to use fi re in my baking.

What’s the lamest pickup line you’ve ever heard? Guys don’t feed me too many

lines.

What’s the best way for someone to hit on you? Speak to me in Spanish.

What’s your foolproof date restaurant?

Le Fou Frog

At what bar or restaurant would you like to have an open tab? Westport Café What’s your workout? Running. I also

started doing this jump core class. It kind of makes me want to pass out, but I feel great afterward!

What’s your pettiest relationship dealbreaker? Bad table manners Have you ever been the other woman? No. What are you most vain about? Wrinkles.

I want Botox, but my mom will disown me if I get it.

What physical feature are you a sucker for? Kind eyes and dimples Who’s on your crush list? Gilles Marini

and Channing Tatum

continued on page 6

CHRIS MULLINS

When it comes to cookies, we lack restraint.

Tempt us with some European cookie sandwiches (with buttercream in the middle!), and we will tell you anything. And if Karina Parreño — the drop-dead-gorgeous co-owner of local pastry company Milk & Honey — is dangling those French macarons, we will happily follow her and her delicious desserts through the gates of hell.

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Heartbreakers continued from page 5

Last fall, Alex Espy worked as the prop designer for a production of Shrek the Musical at the Coterie Theatre (where he also serves as a teaching artist). This week, he wraps up another kid-friendly stint, narrating and acting in a Kansas City Symphony production of Peter and the Wolf at the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts. Espy, who has written, directed, and designed sets for a number of other plays around town, also happens to be very handsome and unattached.

Job: Theater artist Age: 35 Relationship status: Single What’s your go-to drink? Lately, whiskey on the rocks.

What’s your guiltiest musical pleasure? I was going to

say Beyoncé. But she’s not so bad. She can sing. There are a lot of cheesy pop songs I hear on the radio that I like after I hear them enough times.

What’s the last thing that made you cry? Earlier today, when I was rehearsing with the KC Symphony for the first time. I didn’t cry, exactly, but my eyes welled up a bit when I heard them start playing.

What’s on your nightstand? A mug, for water What’s the coolest thing in your home? I have a couple of pachinko machines — these 1960s vintage, upright pinball machines from Japan. I also make a lot of my furniture. The headboard above my bed is an old bedspring with light bulbs in it.

What’s the lamest pickup line you’ve ever heard?

Someone recently approached me and told me that he thought he knew what my astrological sign was.

He was wrong. He didn’t even get it by the third try.

Astrological stuff doesn’t interest me at all. I shut down if I pick up on that.

What’s the best way for someone to hit on you? Just casual conversation. It turns me off if someone is too forceful.

What’s your foolproof date restaurant? It depends on the individual. But I do love La Bodega.

At what bar or restaurant would you like to have an open tab? I really like Fred P. Ott’s, because it’s close to where I live.

What’s your workout? Right now I’m getting exercise just working on Peter and the Wolf. I play eight different characters in the show, so it’s basically this great 30-minute leg workout.

What’s your pettiest relationship deal-breaker? I don’t know how petty this is, but I get turned off when somebody is too interested too soon. I like to move slowly into things.

Have you ever been the other man? No. What are you most vain about? I started going gray when I was 12, and I did not like it back then. But I have to say that now I really do like my salt-and-pepper hair.

What physical feature are you a sucker for? I love a man in glasses. I always look twice at a tall, thin man in glasses. If we want to get more crass, I am an ass man.

Who’s on your crush list? Anderson Cooper

CHRIS MULLINS

»— Alex Espy —h

»— Rupal Gor —h Rupal Gor knows where the action is, especially if the action you’re looking for involves giant trucks crushing cars, dirt-bike riders soaring through an arena, or princesses on ice skates. Gor promotes really big shows — Monster Jam, Nuclear Cowboyz, Arenacross and, yes, Disney on Ice — which means that she’s got a major ticket hookup. But if you’re ever this sunny KU grad’s plus-one, we dare you to keep your eyes on whatever spectacle is unfolding on the arena floor.

Job: I am the local promoter for Feld Entertainment. I do all of the marketing, the media buys, all the ticketing. Basically, promote shows from start to fi nish.

Age: 30 Relationship status: Single What’s your go-to drink? A glass of sauvignon blanc. If I’m being specific, it’d be Kim Crawford sauvignon blanc.

What’s your guiltiest musical pleasure?

S A B R I N A S TA I R E S

Britney Spears. I got one of her albums, I think it’s the Circus album, and I know all of the songs by heart. I don’t know why.

It’s upbeat.

What’s the last thing that made you cry? I just turned 30. My friends threw me a party at Classic Cup. They decorated the whole place, had my favorite wine, had a drink made after me. Just all of the stuff that they put into that made me tear up because it showed me how wonderful they are.

What’s on your nightstand? Water, Capri Blue Anthropologie candles and my iPhone 5, which is my alarm.

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What’s the coolest thing in your home?

A piece of artwork my friend made for me for my birthday. It’s got all of my favorite colors and matches my living-room color scheme.

What’s the lamest pickup line you’ve ever heard? Someone actually said to me, “You must be a parking ticket because you’ve got fine written all over you.”

What’s the best way for someone to hit on you? Someone who is a little more subtle and not trying to be out there hitting on you. And maybe someone who can make me laugh right away.

What’s your foolproof date restaurant?

The Westside Local. It has a great atmosphere, no matter what time of day.

At what bar or restaurant would you like to have an open tab? Harry’s Bar & Tables What’s your workout? When I’m not busy

running around at my events, I do mostly elliptical. And I’ve been trying to mix yoga in with a busy schedule. It helps with all of the stress.

What’s your pettiest relationship dealbreaker? Bad grammar and spelling Have you ever been the other woman?

No. My friends say I’m picky, as I don’t date much. But when I do, they’re decent guys and pretty transparent.

What are you most vain about? Having nice teeth.

What physical feature are you a sucker for? A good smile Who’s on your crush list? Joseph GordonLevitt is my huge celebrity crush.

»— Jonetta Stewart —h

e ic

mo t

v

Last year, the three Scott Fitness gyms south of the river were suddenly renamed theGymKC. How come? Because Jonetta Stewart — the astonishingly fit, wildly hot personal trainer and co-owner of the gyms — bought out her business partner. In marketing theGymKC, though, Stewart has neglected to exploit a major selling point: That she is usually at one of her gyms, and, if you happen to be there at the same time, you can look at her. Just try not to stare. There’s an art to it.

nsas cit Ka ycle s y er rc o

Age: 43 Job: Owner, theGymKC Relationship status: It’s complicated.

What’s your go-to drink? It depends on what time it is. Day: water;

night: Clear 10 and soda, tall, with a lime.

What’s your guiltiest musical pleasure? The crashing waves of

Cafe Racer

the ocean

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What’s the last thing that made you cry? The PSA for “Fight Club” (a local anti-bullying youth club) that takes place at theGymKC: Uptown.

What’s on your nightstand? My bobble and my student pilot instruction manual.

What’s the coolest thing in your home? My 8-by-6 custom-framed mirror. It doubled the square footage of my house. It’s huge!

What’s the lamest pickup line you’ve ever heard? I don’t think I ever get “picked up on.” My ex-husband’s pickup line was, “Want to go tan together?” Yes, cheesy … but effective.

What’s the best way for someone to hit on you? Being an old-school gentleman — opening doors, respect.

What’s your foolproof date restaurant? Café Trio’s deck, La Bodega, Jack Stack At what bar or restaurant would you like to have an open tab? All of them!

What’s your workout? Project Poolside! Exclusively taught at theGymKC. It’s everything you should do on your own that you don’t. It’s basically a personal-training session for a group of people.

What’s your pettiest relationship deal-breaker? Carrying around

a gallon jug of water in the gym.

Have you ever been the other woman? Not that I’m aware of. I

don’t play that game.

What are you most vain about? Aging. Even though I’m proud to say that I got carded at Drunken Fish.

What physical feature are you a sucker for? His smile and eyes.

Who’s on your crush list? “GSP” [UFC fighter Georges St-Pierre] and Ryan Reynolds

A CANDY-COATED COMPETITION TO NAME

KANSAS CITY’S SWEETHEART

And, you are the judge!

FEB 21

2013

music. That’s ironic that Christian music would be a guilty pleasure, right?

6-8PM

@

What’s the last thing that made you cry?

I’m not sure if I cried, but watching the closing performance of The Presidents, a show I directed at the Living Room.

What’s on your nightstand? Bible, lamp, pack of gum, cup of water What’s the coolest thing in your home? I’ve got a drum box that I’m pretty fond of. Also, my laptop. I like to write a lot.

What’s the lamest pickup line you’ve ever heard? “Are you OK to drive home?”

What’s the best way for someone to hit on you? Dance. If you dance with me, I’m good.

What’s your foolproof date restaurant?

Anna’s Oven. The macaroni and cheese is the bomb. And it’s cute, and the lighting isn’t too dim. And it’s close to my house.

S A B R I N A S TA I R E S

At what bar or restaurant would you like to have an open tab? Uptown Arts Bar What’s your workout? Mostly weightlifting.

What’s your pettiest relationship dealbreaker? I hate it when people tell me, “Oh,

»— Tosin Morohunfola —h Pitch theater critic Deborah Hirsch recently noticed actor Tosin Morohunfola’s “focused and physical portrayal” of Pigeon, a character in the Unicorn’s just-closed run of Blacktop Sky. Emphasis on “physical”: Morohunfola has a Hollywood body, mischievous moviestar eyes and — damn him — talent. He appeared in an off-Broadway production of

Lucky Duck in New York last spring, and his star has been shining brighter on stages around town ever since.

Age: 24 Occupation: Actor Relationship status: Single What is your go-to drink? Whiskey sour What’s your guiltiest musical pleasure? DC

Talk and some other contemporary Christian

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you’re such a white black man” or that I’m “articulate.” Also, when people say “totes” instead of “totally.”

Have you ever been the other man? Yes. What are you most vain about? Probably my physique — upper body, specifically.

What physical feature are you a sucker for? My feeling is basically that legs tell you

everything you need to know.

Who’s on your crush list? The girl in this movie I just watched, Premium Rush. Ah, Dania Ramirez. Gorgeous. continued on page 8 pitch.com F E B R U A R Y 1 4 - 2 0 , 2 0 1 3 pitch.com M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X

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Heartbreakers

forward, knows what she wants, and can make good substantive conversation very attractive.

The right sense of humor is also key.

What’s your foolproof date restaurant? For a first date, I like to try a new place, maybe find a hole in the wall and have a little adventure.

Maybe we’ll get food poisoning together. We can tell the grandkids.

continued from page 7

»— David Becker —h

Age: 30 Occupation: Bass trombonist, Kansas City

Symphony

Relationship status: Single What’s your go-to drink? A perfect Manhat-

tan made with rye, garnished with a lemon peel and hopefully on one big rock.

What’s your guiltiest musical pleasure?

Pretending to weep inconsolably as I karaoke

At what bar or restaurant would you like to have an open tab? Can you pay off my tab at

Tannin?

What’s your workout? I’ve been doing yoga for the past several months and really enjoying it. I’m also looking forward to getting back on my bike soon.

S A B R I N A S TA I R E S

Attention, women who claim to have a thing for musicians: Don’t forget the men of the Kansas City Symphony! We’re talking all of the talent, confidence and passion of your punk-band ex, without all that talk about maybe someday making a 7-inch. (Bonus: an enviable ease with eveningwear.) Our case in point is handsome brass man David Becker. By day, he helps the symphony hold down its bass clef. By night, he … well, same thing, but dressed formally and in front of big Kauff man Center audiences. One word, ladies: embouchure.

What’s your pettiest relationship dealbreaker? I prefer a dainty ankle?

Have you ever been the other man? I don’t

Foreigner’s “I Want to Know What Love Is.” I’m a professional musician, so that’s pretty guilty, folks.

What’s the last thing that made you cry?

Foreigner?

What’s on your nightstand? The collected poems of Zbigniew Herbert (always) and a collection of J.D. Salinger short stories (currently).

The Salinger is actually making pretty depressing bedside reading, so it may have to go.

What’s the coolest thing in your home? I have

an antique icebox filled with the high-gravity beers I’m aging.

What’s the lamest pickup line you’ve ever heard? It went something like this: “How much

does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Hi, I’m David.” Very apropos in our ecologically troubled times, no?

What’s the best way for someone to hit on you? I find a woman who is confident, straight-

»— Sara Davidson —h

What’s the lamest pickup line you’ve ever heard (or used)? I don’t use pickup lines. “If

I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”

Kansas City’s big thinkers, doers and entrepreneurs have a dream girl in Sara Davidson. The bubbly go-getter moved to Kansas City from Council Bluffs, Iowa, to do digital marketing for then-startup Zaarly. And she has stuck around as a passionate evangelist for all things tech in KC. And we’re glad that the blond bombshell did. If you’re on the tech beat, you know who she is. And we’re sure you’re better for it.

What’s your guiltiest musical pleasure?

Justin Bieber and Jason Derulo

What’s the last thing that made you cry?

On Saturday night, I grabbed what I thought was eyedrops from out of my purse and ac-

8 THE PITCH 4 THE PITCH

What’s the best way for someone to hit on you? They have to be so smooth that I don’t

feel like I’m actually getting hit on.

What’s your foolproof date restaurant?

Nara

At what bar or restaurant would you like to have an open tab? JJ’s What’s your workout? Two to three classes

a week at Woodside, plus cardio two to three times a week … and yoga when I can.

S A B R I N A S TA I R E S

Job: Co-founder of Revvv.It (digitalmarketing company) and co-host of Entrepreneur KC Radio on KMBZ 1660 Age: 27 Relationship status: In a relationship What’s your go-to drink? Extra-dirty gin martini with blue-cheese-stuffed olives

need that kind of drama in my life.

What are you most vain about? Probably being included in a Valentine’s crush piece in The Pitch.

What physical feature are you a sucker for? I love beautiful eyes and that little dimple at the corner of the mouth that some women have when they smile.

Who’s on your crush list? Esperanza Spalding. She’s gorgeous, unbelievably talented, and seems like a very articulate and kind person.

cidentally put nail strengthener in my eye. I literally thought I was going to go blind.

What’s on your nightstand? The Icarus Deception by Seth Godin, The Fire Starter Sessions by Danielle LaPorte, a Moleskine

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What’s your pettiest relationship dealbreaker? Lack of ambition Have you ever been the other woman? Never ever — that I know of!

notebook for journaling and writing down ideas, and an empty bottle of wine.

What’s the coolest thing in your home? A Cuban sword. Guys love this when I have parties, for some reason.

What are you most vain about? Hair or teeth What physical feature are you a sucker for?

Smile

Who’s on your crush list? Channing Tatum!

Ryan Reynolds and Justin Timberlake

»— Casey Hannan —h He had us at his Twitter handle (poetryduh), but Casey Hannan is more than just another Internet wit. He has published his fiction in several journals, and he has a book — titled Mother Ghost — due out in April. We went to him for proof that nobody answers a bunch of superficial questions better than a writer. He did not disappoint.

Age: 27 Occupation: Writer Relationship status: Partnered What’s your go-to drink? Water, but with

bourbon in it.

What’s your guiltiest musical pleasure? I

CHRIS MULLINS

don’t ever feel guilty enjoying music. I’m only a little embarrassed to enjoy cover versions of songs from Broadway musicals.

What’s the last thing that made you cry? This section from Tennessee Williams’ memoirs where a young Williams is nearing the end of a trans-Atlantic voyage. He’s in the ship’s bar with a captain and a dance instructor. The captain looks at Williams and says to the dance instructor, “You know his future, don’t you?”

Williams understood it years later, when he first started falling in love with men.

What’s on your nightstand? I don’t have a nightstand. I have a bedside chair that I fell on and broke the last time I had a seizure three years ago. There’s a combination flashlightradio and books on the chair, always.

What’s the coolest thing in your home? One of my friends works in a science and nature store in New York. The coolest thing she’s sent

Kombucha-slugging art freaks, meet your new crush: Maria Calderon. Ordinary people who just like nice yoga bodies: May we also introduce you to Maria Calderon. She is a prolific artist and a drawing instructor at UMKC, and she teaches yoga on the lawn of the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art. Also, as you can see, she makes her own bodysuits.

We’re into all of it.

Job: Interdisciplinary artist, yoga in-

structor, art lecturer at UMKC Age: 28 Relationship status: Unconventional What’s your go-to drink? Morning: spirulina, chlorella and marine phytoplankton with lemon; afternoon: Shang Tea Tangerine Blossom and Silver Needle King; evening: Port Fonda mezcal anything.

What’s your guiltiest musical pleasure?

Recently, I’ve acquired an unexpected taste for Rod Stewart — specifically, “You Wear It Well,” “Young Turks” and “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?”

What’s the last thing that made you cry?

A thread about dirty candy hearts on Facebook. I couldn’t breathe. I contemplated my mortality while laughing for an unhealthy length of time.

What’s on your nightstand? Yoga Sutras of Patanjali by Palo Santo, R.O. H20 and nonsexual-related essential oils.

What’s the lamest pickup line you’ve ever heard? I got a late-night text once that said,

“Come over and do something gross.” It eventually worked (alcohol).

What’s the best way for someone to hit on you? Direct and intense flattery At what bar or restaurant would you like to have an open tab? I want to say Justus Drugstore, but it’s so far away, and I don’t have a car.

How about Port Fonda? They have great food and drinks and also a bartender I could swear I’ve seen naked on the Internet.

Have you ever been the other man? Not for long. I ruined it with a poem.

What’s your pettiest relationship dealbreaker? Picky fucking eaters What are you most vain about? The whole

damn picture

What physical feature are you a sucker for?

The parts exposed in hot weather.

Who’s on your crush list? At the top of the list right now is this guy who walks by my house every day on his way to work. I’ve never heard him speak, but I once heard him sing, which is why the crush has endured for two years. continued on page 10

What’s the coolest thing in your home? I hoard weavings and vintage fabric. I have turned my apartment into a permanent, grown-up, fortlike treehouse situation. I’m eternally 5 years old.

What’s the lamest pickup line you’ve ever heard (or used)? Pick up a rag at a bar, lean to person of interest and ask politely, while raising rag toward his or her face: “Excuse me, but does this rag smell like ether?”

What’s the best way for someone to hit on you? Refer back to previous question.

What’s your foolproof date restaurant?

My kitchen because I’m kind of awesome at making the foods.

At what bar or restaurant would you like to have an open tab? Fervere, Füd, Port Fonda What’s your workout? Yoga, meditation,

active visualization and trance-dance enthusiast

What’s your pettiest relationship dealbreaker? Jealousy, ownership of thought,

lack of creativity and lack of present nature.

Have you ever been the other man or woman? Who said I’m schizophrenic?

What are you most vain about? Thinking

this song is about me.

What physical feature are you a sucker for? A rising serpent kundalini spine and a bitchin’ yoga bod.

Who’s on your crush list? Damo Suzuki, Rahsaan Roland Kirk, Sun Ra, Moondog, Captain Beefheart and Ariel Pink

S A B R I N A S TA I R E S

»— Maria Calderon —h

me so far is a taxidermy bat I have hung up in a shadow box.

What’s your foolproof date restaurant? Taj Palace. We love Indian food, and we love to sit in a booth for far too long, drinking chai and dissecting the performances of great actresses.

What’s your workout? I have an old recumbent exercise bike I’ve been holding onto for a friend. I ride that bike every other day and read or crochet while doing it.

pitch.com F E B R U A R Y 1 4 - 2 0 , 2 0 1 3 pitch.com M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X

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continued from page 9

»— Elvis Achelpohl —h If there’s one space we have a crush on in this town, it’s Dolphin, that beacon of art and modernity in the West Bottoms. Which brings us to Elvis Achelpohl, of BNIM Architects, whose CV lists, among other impressive credits, some design work for Dolphin.

As he puts it on his website, those projects have included “art placement, a 25-foot-long leather boardroom table, and several dirty proposals for the West Bottoms.” Well, if there’s one thing we like in a designer, an architect or a date, it’s a good dirty proposal (near a long leather table).

Age: 27 Occupation: Architectural designer Relationship status: Single What’s your go-to drink? Iced Americanos.

Pimm’s when I’m special.

What’s your guiltiest musical pleasure? Boost-

ing CDs

What’s the last thing that made you cry? I was watching some trains go by or something.

What’s on your nightstand? Tiny dice What’s the coolest thing in your home?

Chickens out back and a rad Sistine Chapel mural in the stairwell

What’s the lamest pickup line you’ve ever heard? “I think I know your mom.”

What’s the best way for someone to hit on you? With food.

What’s your foolproof date restaurant? Tacos and cookies at Bonito Michoacan

At what bar or restaurant would you like to have an open tab? I want a snack-bar tab at YJ’s.

What’s your workout? Free cable at the YMCA What’s your pettiest relationship dealbreaker? Loving horses.

Have you ever been the other man? No? What are you most vain about? Spacing What physical feature are you a sucker for?

Duchenne smiles

CHRIS MULLINS

Heartbreakers

Who’s on your crush list? Robyn, Jeanne Gang, Bryan Ferry, the Devil (the band, not the actual devil), Blondie, Blondie Brunetti, Jane Jacobs circa 1961, Marion Mahony circa 1895, David Bowie circa forever, Solange, Sade, Ruby Sue, Zoka Zola, Gabrielle Costello, Little

»— Emily Cox —h The food at Port Fonda is top-notch, sure, but the artsy-glamorous staff is no small part of the Westport hot spot’s appeal. Safely consider it a lucky day if Emily Cox, an adorable UMKC student studying psychology (with minors in Spanish and holistic medicine), is the server taking your pork-and-ricottameatball order.

Age: 20 Job: Server at Port Fonda Relationship status: Have a boyfriend.

What’s your go-to drink? Horsefeather What’s your guiltiest musical pleasure? Beyoncé,

maybe? Does Blackstreet count?

CHRIS MULLINS

What’s the last thing that made you cry? The movie Ted. There’s this part where you think the teddy bear is going to get ripped apart. He doesn’t. But it’s sad when you think he’s going to. Sorry, I just ruined the movie if you haven’t seen it yet.

We’re sneaking Jim Sturgill just under the single-guy wire, as he’s about to explain. But since when has a crush heeded availability? Besides, he doesn’t mind if we’re into him for his mind.

Funny guys are used to that, and Sturgill, part of the improv troupe Babel Fish (which roasts the 1990s love-on-ice classic The Cutting Edge at Screenland Crossroads February 22), is as quickwitted a dude as we’ve found in this town.

Age: 31 Occupation: Project manager Relationship status: Engaged What’s your go-to drink? Whiskey. A good

bartender will make a drink that will change your life, but finding one of those is like finding a best friend. Ordering the straight booze takes the risk out of a 22-year-old jackass screwing up your night.

What’s your guiltiest musical pleasure?

Coheed and Cambria: soaring prog-rock melodies and sci-fi narratives about saving the universe from a supreme magic wizard — what’s not to love?

10 6 TTHHEE PPIITTCCHH

What’s on your nightstand? A mineral-salt lamp, a Charles Bukowski book, an alarm clock, body butter What’s the coolest thing in your home? My cat, Jun What’s the lamest pickup line you’ve ever heard? I had a guy once ask if it hurt when I fell from heaven.

Very tacky.

What’s the best way for someone to hit on you? Flatter me.

What’s your foolproof date restaurant? Port Fonda At what bar or restaurant would you like to have an open tab? Manifesto What’s your workout? Bikram yoga What’s your pettiest relationship deal-breaker? I

hate when dudes wear open-toed shoes, like sandals or flip-flops.

Have you ever been the other woman? Not that I’m aware of.

What are you most vain about? My butt What physical feature are you a sucker for? A strong jaw line. Broad shoulders.

Who’s on your crush list? David Beckham

What’s the last thing that made you cry? An episode of the podcast Roderick on the Line.

What’s on your nightstand? My Kindle, an iPhone dock and a lamp What’s the coolest thing in your home? Probably my Saddleback briefcase. It’s heavy-duty leather and makes me look much more serious than I actually am.

What’s the lamest pickup line you’ve ever used? “I need your help. I’m from the future.” I

used that in Minneapolis, so it was kind of true.

What’s the best way for someone to hit on you?

Be smart. Be funny.

What’s your foolproof date restaurant?

Julian. If your date doesn’t like the hush puppies, you don’t want anything to do with her anyway.

At what bar or restaurant would you like to have an open tab? Bier Station What’s your workout? Started lifting weights

seriously again. Lots of compound movements: squats, cleans, other terrible, terrible things.

What’s your pettiest relationship dealbreaker? Not liking Aaron Sorkin TV shows.

Have you ever been the other man? I think a

girl broke up with her boyfriend to start seeing

FE Y 1 4X-,2 200, 02 X 0 1 3 pitch.com pitch.com M OB NRTUHAXRX–X

S A B R I N A S TA I R E S

»— Jim Sturgill —h

Freshie scones, Front/Space, dolphins, Anne Lindberg, Jaimie Warren, the interstate system, Margo May, whenever Hearts of Darkness plays, Peggy Noland’s store, Chloë Sevigny, Lara Flynn Boyle, Patti Smith a long time ago, and some Steven Holl buildings.

me and then started seeing him again without breaking it off with me. So I think in that situation we were both the other guy?

What are you most vain about? Probably my hair. Kayla Bachman at Speak in the Crossroads keeps me from looking like a hippie. Mostly.

Who’s on your crush list? I’m writing this about 10 minutes before I propose to my soonto-be fiancée. She’s smart, funny and incredibly well-read. Also, she’s super-hot. So I got that going for me. (She said yes.)

What physical feature are you a sucker for?

Smiles: quality and teeth.

E-mail feedback@pitch.com

GET YOUR FIX.

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FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

THE PITCH

11

JUST TROT IT.

5K

FREE RUN/WALK 2ND ANNUAL INDEPENDENCE PARK TROT Sat., May 4, 2013 • 8 a.m. • Waterfall Park 18001 Bass Pro Drive, Independence, MO

Packet Pick-up

May 3rd: 3 p.m. - 7 p.m.

Bass Pro Shop Independence

Kids’ Dash

Free Kids’ Run following completion of 5K Run/Walk.

T-shirt Purchase

T-Shirts are available for purchase online at www. independenceparktrot.com

Children 10 and under can May 4th : 7 a.m. - 7:40 a.m. participate.

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Broadway

I-3

5

ARTISTIC DIRECTOR WILLIAM WHITENER

Union Station

Pershing

Bolender Center

500 W. Pershing Road Kansas City, MO

Experience choreographic creativity by Kansas City Ballet Dancers and guest artists intimately showcasing 8 new dance works.

Dancers: Molly Wagner & Ryan Nye Photographer: Kenny Johnson

AT THE BOLENDER CENTER SAT FEB 23 | 2:00 & 7:00 P.M.

FRI MAR 1 | 6:00 P.M.

FOR TICKETS: Call 816-931-2232 or order online at www.kcballet.org TICKETS REQUIRED: $10 adults | $5 under 21 years old 12

THE PITCH

FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

pitch.com

WEEK OF FEBRUARY 14–20 | BY BERRY ANDERSON

19

PAG E

AY TUESD

2.19 n the Love o ide t s We S

STAGE Fame on the rocks: Shipwrecked!

21

PAG E

ART Making arrangements at Sherry Leedy.

ONE HAND, ONE HEART

22 PAG E

Tony is in the white gang. Maria is the sister of Puerto Rican gang leader Bernardo. The two NYC groups don’t mesh, but Tony and Maria do. Relive the classic love story — with Leonard Bernstein’s music and Stephen Sondheim’s lyrics — when the Lied Center (1600 Stewart Drive, Lawrence) presents West Side Story at 7:30 p.m. Tickets cost $42 or $46 for adults, $22 or $24 for students. Buy them at lied.ku.edu or by calling 785-864-2787.

FAT C I T Y Brew to brew with Boulevard’s Coffee Ale.

T H U R S D AY | 2 . 1 4 | THE ANTI-VALENTINE’S DAY BAR ROUNDUP

The National Retail Federation says the average person celebrating Valentine’s Day in 2012 spent about $130. We suggest an alternative plan: Chop that sum three ways (leaving room for tips) and take your redwine smile to these nightlife events.

The Quaff (1010 Broadway, 816-471-1918).

Late nights here have a tendency to get messy — in the best possible way. Mac Property Management officiates 60-second games of “Don’t Blow the Queens” and “Junk in the Trunk” from 8 to 10 p.m. After that, toast to crazy love from 10 to last call with $2.50 you-call-its.

Sol Cantina (408 East 31st Street, 816-931-8080). Beginning at 7 p.m., get $10 buckets of Bud Light and Bud Select, $12 Corona and Pacifico buckets, $4 bombs and $5 Kiss This cocktails made with Clear 10 Vodka. Also, burgers are $4.99.

VooDoo Lounge (Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Drive, 816-889-7320). Mix 93.3 hosts the 2013 Bitter Ball, a huge, cover-free dance party with DJ Bobby Keys. The 21-and-older party starts at 8 p.m.

F R I D AY | 2 . 15 | THE NIGHT AFTER

During the last 13 years of Love Hangover — an intimate evening of local duos performing love songs — there have been 33 shows in five cities and more than 300 performers, including members of Guided By Voices, the Magnetic Fields and Clem Snide. Über indie?

Yes. Über romantic? Possibly. “Each act will perform 30-minute sets — happy, sad, funny, dirty, original, cover, who knows?” says organizer Scott Easterday, who has hosted the show the last five years. Troy Meiss performs Bob Dylan’s “Love Minus Zero/ No Limit,” from Dylan’s continued on page 14

T H U R S D AY | 2 . 1 4 |

ONE MORE TIME

T

he first celebrity to appear on Sesame Street? The comedic mastermind behind Mama’s Family? A cast member on All My Children? The answer to these trivia questions is Carol Burnett.

Ask her about these experiences at Laughter & Reflection With Carol Burnett, a live event at which she fields audience members’ questions, in the Muriel Kauffman Theatre at the Kauffman Center (1601 Broadway).

Tickets for the 7:30 p.m. show cost $84–$135. See kauffmancenter.org or call 816-994-7222. pitch.com

FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

THE PITCH

13

FRIDAY

2 .1 5

You only need

roun boveg BDU: a y x and se

d

ONE REASON to quit.

FREE

SMOKING CESSATION CLASSES STARTING MARCH 19, 2013 CALL 816-325-7185 TO REGISTER

continued from page 13 1965 release Bringing It All Back Home. “The tune has probably been my favorite love ditty for years, mostly because of the first line, My love she speaks like silence. Just the power of that first line makes me melt,” Meiss says of his duet with Jessie J. Brown. Other performers include Claire Adams and Katy Guillen, Katie Gilchrist and David George and, stepping outside of the duo formula, Americana trio Blackbird Revue. Tickets cost $6 for this all-ages dinner show beginning at 6 p.m. at RecordBar (1020 Westport Road). Buy them at the door or at therecordbar.com.

LOVE IS THE DRUG

Burlesque Downtown Underground calls itself “Kansas City’s classiest burlesque company.” See why at this year’s Valentine’s Day–themed performance Love Drugged, which features Mariel a la Mode, a St. Louis– based circus performer and aerialist (whose bio name-drops Willie Nelson and 90210), and the troupe’s newest members, Lolita Bonita and Lilly Darlin’. Can BDU live up to your most elegant blue-balled expectations? Find out at Retro (1518 McGee, 816-421-4201) at 10 p.m.

Cover costs $10 at the door (cash only). For more information, see kcburlesque.com and click “BDU.”

S AT U R D AY | 2 . 16 | HOOK ’EM, HAWKS

Tonight’s ESPN College GameDay telecast broadcasts live from Allen Fieldhouse (1651 Naismith Drive, Lawrence) for the fifth time since the show’s 2005 debut. That’s the most of any college basketball program. The Kansas Jayhawks host Texas for the soldout 8 p.m. game. Find tickets on StubHub.

GANG GREEN

The Dead Girl Derby — not to be confused with the Kansas City Roller Warriors, the Kansas City Banked Beauties or the Cowtown Butchers — is climbing the legitimacy E R O M ladder. The league opens its fourth season tonight in new digs: T A INE ONL .COM Hale Arena (1701 AmeriH PITC can Royal Court, in the West Bottoms). At Love Hurts, to Hale With It, the Shotgun Sheilas battle the Lovely Lethals, and the Deadly Sirens take on the Royal Pains. Doors open to the public at 4:45. Tickets cost $15 for adults and $7 for kids between the ages of 6 and 12. Buy them at Ticketmaster or at the door.

EVENTS

S AT U R D AY | 2 . 16 |

A SWEET WHITE FOR MY LADY’S PLEASURE

THE ULTIMATE INTERACTIVE MUSIC EXPERIENCE.

ONLY AT UNION STATION TICKETS START AT $8*. BUY TICKETS AT

UNIONSTATION.ORG FOLLOW US ON *member

14

THE PITCH

FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

pitch.com

price

L

ast year’s Vignoles (pronounced vee-knoll ) grapes have been harvested and are ready for release at Platte City’s Jowler Creek Vineyard & Winery (16905 Jowler Creek Road, 816-858-5528).

“The hot, dry summer resulted in highly concentrated flavor in this year’s grapes,” says Colleen Gerke, Jowler Creek co-owner. Those flavors — peach, strawberry, apricot, pineapple and honey — produce a vino that pairs well with ice in a plastic cup, kung pao chicken or pulled pork sliders. Try it today and tomorrow at the 2013 Vignoles Release party, where Colleen and her husband, Jason, pour samples and sell bottles for $14.99 (with discounts on half and whole cases). The winery is open from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. No reservations are required. See jowlercreek.com for more info.

S U N D AY | 2 . 17 |

Presented by:

ALL OF THE BACON AND EGGS YOU HAVE

N

ick Offerman has become a TV icon. His character Ron Swanson — the deadpan, meatloving libertarian on NBC’s Parks and Recreation — may be equaled in sheer laughs only by Michael Richards’ Kramer on Seinfeld. Offerman is also a carpenter on the side (featured in Popular Woodworking). The point? He’s a good ol’ Midwestern Renaissance man.

Just look at that mustache. See him at 8 p.m. at the Midland (1228 Main, 816-283-9921). Tickets cost $27.50. Buy them at midlandkc.com.

S U N D AY | 2 . 17 | DIRTY SKETCHERS

Branches of Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School, the live-model drawing classes, are in more than 100 cities in 16 countries. The KC chapter (556 Lowell, Kansas City, Kansas) is in its fifth year, bringing together a cross-section of artists, looky-loos and anyone interested in an alternative social scene. Held on the first and third Sundays of every month, Dr. Sketchy’s has sexy models, DJs and lots of booze. Have you ever drawn a scantily clad circus performer hanging from ropes attached to the ceiling? Probably not. Try it tonight from 6 to 10. Cover is $10. For more information, see drsketchy.com/branch/kansascity.

Saturday, February 16th

Kansas City Convention Center — Grand Ballroom Cocktails & appetizers in the Pulse Party Lounge | Dancing to Lynne Jordan and the Shivers

To Give a Gift or Purchase Tickets visit www.kcheartandstrokeball.org

W E D N E S D AY | 2 . 2 0 | PIN-TEREST

The best examples of photographs made by pinhole cameras, which have small apertures and lengthy exposure times, are those that produce an unlimited depth of field.

Made from generally rudimentary parts, pinhole cameras were used by Ruth ThorneThomsen, who has donated 74 of her prints to the permanent collection at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art (4525 Oak, 816-751-1278). The free exhibit Invented Worlds: Photographs by Ruth ThorneThomsen opens today. The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art is located at 4525 Oak. For more information, see nelson-atkins.org.

M O N D AY | 2 . 18 |

L

“Head with ladders, Illinois,” by Ruth Thorne-Thomsen C O U R T E S Y O F T H E N E L S O N - AT K I N S

BLOCK PARTY

We know you’ve been dying to go to Legoland Discovery Center (2475 Grand, 816-471-4386) since it opened last spring, but the strict “adults must be accompanied by children to enter” rule has kept you away.

Fortunately, Legoland hasn’t forgotten you.

On the third Monday of each month, the Crown Center playhouse hosts a two-hour, no-kids-allowed session. From 7 to 9 tonight, pay tribute to the Oscars — create film-related models, play movie trivia, and take all kinds of crazy Instagram photos of yourself playing with blocks in formalwear. (Organizers encourage attendees to dress up.) Tickets cost $19 at the door or $15 online. Buy them at legolanddiscoverycenter.com/kansascity.

PULSE Party: Heart & Stroke Ball After Party

The Broadway Hit!

2 Shows! 2 and 7:30 p.m. Sat., Feb. 16 www.jccc.edu/TheSeries | 913-469-4445 E-mail submissions to Filter editor Berry Anderson at calendar@pitch.com. Search our complete listings guide online at pitch.com.

Performing Arts Series Johnson County Community College | NO ONLINE FEES | FREE PARKING pitch.com

FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

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FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

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S TA G E onetime drag bar on Troost.

BY

CHARLES FERRUZZA

Text the word OPERA to win a pair of passes to see VERDI’S RIGOLETTO on Saturday, February 16th at 11:55am!

B R O O K E VA N D E V E R

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OUT OF THE BOX

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THE PITCH THURSDAY 2/14 2.305 x 5.291 ALL.RIG-P.0214.PITCH B R O O K E VA N D E V E R

hat today’s Kauffman Center for the Clockwise from left: Justin Speer, Ray Performing Arts is for the Kansas City Ettinger, Brad Shaw and Tom Lancaster Symphony and the Lyric Opera, the Jewel Box play various roles in Hopeless Evening.

Lounge was for the female impersonators of Staged by New York City director Travis the 1950s and ’60s. The original Jewel Box, Chamberlain and visual artist Joseph Keehn at 3223 Troost, was a showplace, the big time II, An Otherwise Hopeless Evening of Very Gay not only for local femme mimics such as Mr. and Extremely Grim Short Plays includes two Tommy Temple and Mr. Butch Ellis but also for Inge pieces that have never before been pronational acts like Ray (Rae) Bourbon. duced. And it marks the first time in 18 years Bourbon died in 1971 (in a Texas prison, convicted in a murder-for-hire plot), around that DeVille has played a man onstage.

The production, which has been extended the same time that the first Jewel Box was on life support. The place closed in 1973, after 25 through Sunday, February 24, drew national attention before the first ticket was sold. years of flashy floor shows.

New Yorker theater critic Hilton Als ended “I knew the days were numbered for the old his review of the Broadway revival of Inge’s Jewel Box,” Temple once said, “when I’d walk Picnic (The New Yorker, January 21, 2013) with out of the club and there were more queens a shout-out to Chamberlain and Keehn’s projworking the streets as hookers than there were ect: “I’d give anything to see it.” inside, on the stage.” (It moved to Main Street The four short plays in this 90-minute but closed in 1984.)

The flashing marquee is long gone, but show are less grim than they are funny — morbidly, blackly so. Kansas-born Inge, who the brick building on Troost, with its rippled, would have been 100 years old this May, was glass-brick façade, still stands, now split into an unhappy, alcoholic homosexual who three apartments. One of those living spaces, killed himself in 1973. The a long, narrow space where play’s themes include murthe original bar used to stand An Otherwise der, suicide, self-loathing, (and where a customer was Hopeless Evening of secrets and religion. In the stabbed to death in the Very Gay and Extremely 35-seat venue that Cham1960s), still boasts the club’s Grim Short Plays berlain and Keehn have terrazzo floors. But not much Through February 24. installed for this producelse remains to remind visiSee brownpapertickets.com for times and tickets. tion (also featuring Keehn’s tors of its flamboyant past. artwork), patrons are seated “The place definitely has in old church pews set up a strange vibe at night, but around the apartment’s perimeter. it’s a good vibe,” says actor De De DeVille, best “I like to call it a charming evening of deknown for his female roles at Late Night Theatre. He stops short of calling the old Jewel Box spair,” Chamberlain says.

DeVille and four other local actors (includhaunted (though the Late Night space on Grand ing veteran performer Brad Shaw, who sewed was, he says), but at least one spirit is temcostumes for the Jewel Box queens in the porarily displacing a couple of the building’s residents. Bradley Hoffman and his girlfriend, 1970s) take on a variety of parts: a depressed, mother-dominated mortician here, an outraBrittany Lewis, were persuaded to move out of geously nosy landlady there. Even the late their living quarters at 3227 Troost for a month Rae Bourbon shows up, channeled by actor to make way for the ghost of William Inge.

WIN TICKETS TO SEE VERDI’S RIGOLETTO LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE

Tom Lancaster, who performs one of the late drag queen’s comedy numbers prior to intermission. (A 1950s-style drag show, featuring DeVille, Molten Decadence, Melinda Ryder, and Jewel Box veteran Sandy Kay, follows the February 17 performance.)

“Neither Travis nor I knew much about the Jewel Box history before we decided we wanted to produce these plays,” Keehn says.

“We were turned on to the place by Stuart Hinds of the Gay and Lesbian Archive of MidAmerica. But it’s the perfect setting for our production. When William Inge was a young teacher living in Columbia, Missouri, he would drive up to Kansas City on weekends, and we feel pretty confident that he would have had a drink or two at the Jewel Box.” Keehn, who says he has been working on this project for two years, is thrilled with audience response so far. “We’ve been selling out for almost every show,” he says. “Of course, we only have 35 seats.”

E-mail charles.ferruzza@pitch.com pitch.com 4 - 2 0X, , 2200103X TTHHEE PPI ITTCCHH 17 pitch.comF E BMROUNATRHY X1 X–X 1

RM

Each week, Pitch Street Team cruises around to the hottest clubs, bars and concerts. You name it, we will be there. While we are out, we hand out tons of cool stuff. So look for the Street Team... We will be looking for you!

Val-O-Ween @ Foundation

Val-O-Wwith Feb. 17 Brunch een The Breakfast Club @ Foundation

408 Armour Rd. NKC, MO. 64116 816.421.9700 www.Screenland.com/Armour

See more on the “promotions” link at p The BoDeans @ Knuckleheads

Perect Wedding Guide @ OPCC

Upcoming Events 2.15 - Jayrock 8 @ Uptown 2.15 - Pulse Party @ Kansas City Convention Center 2.16 - Grand Opening @ Black & Gold Tavern 2.21 - The Pitch’s Sugar Rush @ The Guild

See more on the “promotions” link at p 18

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FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

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Cupid Series: FEB 14: WHEN HARRY MET SALLY AND CASABLANCA ............................

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Spinning Tree and Charles Fugate dive into Shipwrecked.

S

ANGELA C. BOND

hipwrecked! An Entertainment might sound contradictory, even with that exclamation point. But note this play’s subtitle: The Amazing Adventures of Louis de Rougemont (as Told by Himself). What it promises, this captivating show — now being staged by Spinning Tree Theatre — delivers.

Louis de Rougemont, an ordinary person turned late-19th-century celebrity, was really Henri Louis Grin. He was born in Switzerland, in 1847, and began his adult life conventionally enough, working as a footman (to actress Fanny Kemble) and then as a valet in London. He eventually made his way to western Australia as the new governor’s butler (a job that lasted just a few months). Still a young man, he went to sea in search of pearls.

And that’s when things got interesting.

The former servant showed up in England in the late 1890s as Louis de Rougemont and fed tales of 30 years shipwrecked to The Linebarger (left, as Bruno) and Fugate Wide World Magazine, which it published — on one of their adventures. and that Pulitzer Prize–winning playwright deep, on either side of the staging area), Fugate Donald Margulies has woven into this joyful diversion. The fact that de Rougemont’s ac- envelops the theater with his energy, pullcounts turned out to have been largely in- ing us into the whirl of his larger-than-life vented didn’t keep them from being devoured de Rougemont, just as he and his shipmates are dragged into the eye and the winds by a hungry public. And it doesn’t prevent us.

“Truth is stranger than fiction, but de of a typhoon, landing him and Bruno in Rougemont is stranger than both,” said The an unknown land confronted by natives.

Afraid that they’re cannibals (“What wine Wide World Magazine in June 1899, aiming goes well with me?” he fears), he instead to profit from the former Grin’s wild claims.

Margulies has masterfully incorporated the is viewed “like a god — their words,” he public’s fascination into 90 minutes of es- quickly appends. This is, after all, his point capism, while peering into the origin of de of view.

In addition to sharp performances by these Rougemont’s tall stories.

Spi n n i ng T ree Theat re’s a n i mated actors, who help us visualize what we can’t see — a giant octopus rising out of the sea, for production,directed by Michael Grayman, pulls us in from its opening announcements instance — the simple set and props complement the narrative. Fugate about “lozenges,” just as employs a dolly to depict the “real” de Rougemont Shipwrecked! a near drowning as he’s surely seduced readers and An Entertainment pulled back and forth by audiences. Charles Fugate Through February 17 at the tide (Linebarger’s Bruno takes full possession of de Paul Mesner Puppet Studio, grabs him with his teeth to Rougemont’s spirit, first as 1006 East Linwood, save him), and Fugate sits a boy and then as the man, 816-569-5277, spinningtreetheatre.com astride a sea turtle (crafted as he and his skilled co-stars

by Mike Horner and Gabby Jennie Greenberry and Bob Baculi) to demonstrate how Linebarger (both in multihe would ride on its back. Hats — lots of hats ple roles) enact the fanciful tales — and their — help depict a variety of characters (costume aftermath — and command our attention. and props designer Gary Campbell). And we We effortlessly absorb Margulies’ dulhear the radio-style sound effects live (sound cet dialogue (and the actors’ delivery of it), designer Alex Davila). which, like music, carries us along in the While de Rougemont’s celebrity was shortway that de Rougemont was transported, as lived, his notoriety was longer-lasting. By a sickly child, by the adventure stories his mother read to him. Not wanting to remain 1899, he was billed for a South African hall as “the greatest liar on earth.” But Margulies is as housebound, as de Rougemont tells it, he sets off as a teenager to see the world. He fascinated here by de Rougemont’s downfall as he is by the man’s powerful storytelling. ends up on a pearling expedition — sound familiar? — with a snarly sea captain (Green- We leave the theater amused but also pondering just what, for de Rougemont/Grin, berry) and a dog, Bruno (Linebarger, wearing was real. dog ears).

Performed in the small space of the Paul Mesner Puppet Studio (rows are just two E-mail deborah.hirsch@pitch.com

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GOING DUTCH

Two viewers compare notes on

BY

Vera Mercer’s Baroque-like photos.

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rtist Vera Mercer splits her time between Paris and Omaha, Nebraska, where — along with her husband, Mark — she runs the restaurants V. Mertz, La Buvette and the Boilerroom. She says the Parisian markets and local farmers and hunters she has met in Nebraska provide her with a bounty of items for her large-scale photographic still lifes, 14 of which are on display at Sherry Leedy Contemporary Art. With their dramatic lighting and painstakingly assembled arrangements of china, cutlery, fruit, fowl and game, Mercer’s photographs recall Dutch Baroque still-life paintings. Shifts in religious views and the growth of the middle class in 1600s Northern Europe opened the market for secular artwork, and painters met that demand with still-life oils showing off their skills in reproducing intricate details, textures and light effects.

The Pitch invited Denise Giannino, a doctoral candidate studying Dutch Baroque art history at the University of Kansas, to look at Mercer’s art with us and offer some expert insights.

The Pitch: Do you see any subject matter or themes in Mercer’s images that you would also find in Dutch Baroque still-life paintings?

Giannino: There are a couple different kinds of early modern still lifes. There are ones that have to do with the elements — for example, grouping objects together because they have to do with the sea, like fish still lifes; they all have to do with water. Or fowl still lifes, which have to do with air. There’s an elemental category driving the content of the image. And then there are still lifes that are sometimes called banquet pieces, with foodstuffs gathered together because

you would actually eat them in combination the items themselves, but I would also suspect that she is manipulating filters a little bit. during a meal.

You mentioned the candles as a light source.

What I see in these is a combination of both In terms of shadows and light, is there anything of those ideas. In many of them, she has them that was important to still lifes historically? laid out on a table that you could sit down One of the hallmarks of Baroque art in genand eat at, but to my eye they are not always eral is dramatic lighting. The dramatic lightpresented in any sort of discernible category or logical combination. I don’t really know ing you tend to see in still lifes is usually the product of a very dark background. Because what flowers are doing with fish. And you really wouldn’t eat strawberries with fish. I of the dark background, you have a sense of a very shallow space or an ambiguous space can’t really think of a kind of meal where you all together, with the items placed close to would combine fish and strawberries.

The foods don’t look like they are prepared the foreground and a spotlight effect usually falling from top left to bottom right. and ready to consume, either.

She definitely seems to be playing with No. What’s also interesting is that, even space and perspective, though she has the candles, which Dutch Baroque artists they seem to function as Vera Mercer: really weren’t. They might both an internal light source Still Life Photographs have been playing with perand maybe as a vanitas or Through February 23 at spective, but they weren’t memento mori symbol.

Sherry Leedy Contemporary really playing with space Can you explain vanitas?

Art, 2004 Baltimore, and perspective the way that Vanitas is a visual motif 816-221-2626, sherryleedy.com she’s doing here. or element reminding the These are photographs, viewer of the transience of and part of photography is life, of their own mortality being able to focus on certain parts of the picand the futility of believing in any sort of ture plane. But what about painters? Would sense of permanence.

When you have the overt vanitas theme everything be in sharp detail?

There’s definitely an emphasis on precision or motif in Dutch still lifes, there’s definitely because it’s a way for the artist to show off how some sort of element of decay. There’s an item they can use oil painting to depict something. that’s rotting or a bug that’s eating something.

You could spend hours looking at one of these That connection between time and transforand discovering new things. mation is much more evident to the viewer That quality of an image is another similarthan I can see with these. ity to Dutch still lifes because everything is I really like them. They are beautiful. so precisely rendered. It makes you want to They are gorgeous.

They are really beautiful in the same way spend a lot of time looking at it.

Baroque still lifes are really beautiful. I like the rich, saturated colors, which seem to be part of E-mail feedback@pitch.com

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FAT C I T Y

COFFEE DATE

Boulevard has a new beer valentine

BY

this season: the Roasterie.

JON AT H A N BENDER

If you had ideas about using Coffee Ale to perk up, you’re more likely to end up flat on your back. Boulevard’s Elizabeth Belden estimates that you would need to drink 9 pints of Coffee Ale to get the same caffeine as one cup of coffee. Each 750 ml bottle is roughly equivalent to 1.5 ounces of drip coffee.

CHRIS MULLINS

CHRIS MULLINS

=

oulevard Brewing’s Elizabeth Belden tips back a glass of reddish liquid inside the company’s Front Street bottling plant. “It’s a little bit more creamy than I expected,” she says.

“I get berry notes on the end,” says Paul Massard, the green-coffee buyer for the Roasterie. “This is a nice color. It doesn’t scream coffee.”

Early on this January morning, Belden and Massard are tasting the latest batch of Coffee Ale, the Boulevard and Roasterie alliance that hits shelves and taps in early March. It replaces another collaboration, Chocolate Ale, in the seasonal-release schedule for the Smokestack Series. After two years of making a chocolate brew with Christopher Elbow — which led to a wash of criticism over shortages the first year, due to unexpected demand, and a refund the second year, over an unwanted flavor in bottles — Boulevard decided to attempt something different in 2013.

“The Coffee Ale is being released when Chocolate Ale would be released,” says Jeremy Ragonese, Boulevard’s marketing director.

“We wanted to offer folks something interesting with another local partner.”

Early on, Belden and Massard agreed that this beer wouldn’t be a stout or a porter. In those varieties, the malt drives the flavor of the beer, and the results can sometimes taste burnt.

“When the coffee is overextracted, you get an astringent taste,” Massard says. “And that’s all you get.”

“That was the challenge,” Belden adds.

“How do you impart coffee into the beer without overpowering it?”

Massard identified six single-origin coffee beans, and Boulevard picked three potential base beers: a hoppy wheat, an amber and a lager. The experiments took on a certain Goldilocks quality.

“The Sumatra [coffee] was like hot peppers — we made a chili pepper beer,” Massard says.

While the Indonesian coffee was too spicy,

22

THE PITCH

CHRIS MULLINS

B

Belden (left, in above photo) and Massard smell the morning Coffee Ale. a Kenyan varietal fared no better when combined with Boulevard’s Tank 7.

“They are two really nice worlds that didn’t work together,” Belden says.

Eventually, they discovered that the softness and citrus notes of an Ethiopian Sidamo produced a smooth coffee brew — and required close to 1,000 pounds of freshly ground coffee, which was steeped in the fermenter.

“It was like dry hopping but with coffee,” Belden says. “We made a gigantic toddy but with beer instead of water.”

Despite all of that coffee, though, the ale has only a muted caffeine profile, with the 750 ml bottle containing the caffeine equivalent of 1.5 ounces of drip coffee. The brew delivers a different kind of morning buzz: 9 percent alcohol by volume.

The clank and whirr of the bottling line a dozen feet away is the only sound for a few seconds as the two enjoy what they’ve spent the past six months trying to perfect. As Massard sips from his glass, he’s asked if he has any

FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

pitch.com

recommendations for pairings. “Breakfast,” he answers. “I want to have it for breakfast.”

BARE STEARNS Ophelia’s chef Bobby Stearns is one of the Guys.

H

is hair isn’t as spiky, and his catchphrases don’t yet fly out of the kitchen as fast as the Ophelia’s popular short-rib dish does, but executive chef Bobby Stearns could be the next Guy Fieri.

“I don’t think you need to wear a chef coat for people to know you throw down,” Stearns says. “I like that about Guy Fieri. So when he retires, I’ll take his show.”

Stearns, 27, is kidding — mostly. But until he picks out the car for his version of Diners, DriveIns and Dives, he’s trying to turn Independence into Flavortown.

He arrived at Ophelia’s in June 2012, after graduating from Johnson County Community College and working as the sous chef at Taste with Jonathan Dallen, a friend. Among his pitch.com

changes has been the addition of short plates, including that hit short-rib dish: short ribs braised in plum wine and served with sweetpotato hash, crispy onions, blue cheese and a bacon glaze. It’s part of his effort to attract diners to Independence Square from his native Johnson County.

“I want people to know that I’m back there in the kitchen, cooking for them,” Stearns says.

“I think if we use a few ingredients and cook them perfectly, then people will keep coming back. This is fine dining that doesn’t take itself too seriously.”

The Pitch sat down with Stearns after a recent lunch service to find out what he thinks is off-the-hook.

The Pitch: What are your c ulinar y inspirations?

Stearns: I just have to be in the right mindset. I’m vegged out at my house, watching Food Network on the couch. I watch a lot of Triple D [Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives]. Stuff flies in my head. I can’t sleep. I just lie there thinking about different dishes. I like to take simple, classical dishes and just twist them up.

What’s your favorite ingredient?

Pork. I’d rather have a juicy pork chop than a steak. It has more flavor and it doesn’t dry out as fast. The Venetian, at Jasper’s, is a great pork-steak sandwich. I also like a really good burger. We’ve got a really good burger. It’s a brisket burger on a pretzel bun with caramelized onions and cheddar cheese.

What’s your best recent food find?

I went to Avenues the other night. Their bread pudding is really good.

What are you experimenting with?

Last month, it was lobster — tempura-battered lobster tails, and crab-stuffed lobster.

I can play around with our small plates. I’m hoping to show people Ophelia’s doesn’t have to just be an anniversary, birthday or specialoccasion place.

What’s your favorite local ingredient?

We get lots of local cheeses from Gilbert Whitney & Co. I pick five cheeses for our chef’s board. We’ve got a chipotle cheddar on a blackened-chicken sandwich that’s really popular.

M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X

THE PITCH

1

KITCHEN OPEN TIL 12:30AM! tine’s VaayleSnpecial D

2 in-houseS cut STEAK &

a bottle of

WINE

Stearns enjoys life on the Square.

There’s also a farmers market right across the street every Wednesday and Saturday morning. Different produce becomes the specials.

What’s one food you love?

Italian food. I like antipasti platters with Italian meats, cheese, roasted red peppers and olives. I love pizza. Villa Capri makes a really good Neapolitan-style pizza. I used to go in for lunch there when I worked at Taste. The cosmopolitan pizza is the house pizza, with a thin crust and anchovies. I also love Anthony’s for the veal steak, topped with lemon and butter sauce, and the garlic with calamari. That’s one of my favorite Italian restaurants.

Who’s got the best barbecue in town, and what are you ordering?

I’d say Gates. Oklahoma Joe’s is really good, but I want the big huge sandwich from Gate’s with double meat. I’ll go with pork and ham, and the beans are really good. I live right next door to the Stack. I’ll get the Goob [burnt end sandwich]. It’s their version of Smokestack’s Poor Russ.

What’s always in your kitchen?

I hate to say it but not much. If you looked in my fridge, you’d probably say, “I guess we’re calling for carryout.” I love anything anybody wants to cook for me. Anytime I can relax and have food brought to me, that’s the best.

Besides your own place, where do you like to eat out?

Mi Ranchito. I get the cream-cheese-andchicken enchiladas. Ken and Cindy McClain are getting ready to open up a new Mexican restaurant, El Pico. The test kitchen is open. I’m hoping to get in there and create some dishes.

Bo Lings has got the consistency and service — it’s probably the best Chinese food in the city. I always get the same thing: the chicken and shrimp Hunan style. It’s got bell peppers and a spicy brown sauce. And then I just dip everything in hot mustard.

What’s one book that every chef should read?

No Reservations, by Anthony Bourdain.

Some chefs think that right out of culinary school, the keys to the restaurant are going to be handed to them. But when you’re new in the kitchen, they tell you to go peel those potatoes and work your way up from there. I remember when I was in culinary school, there were a lot of middle-aged people used to a regular 9-to-5.

And they realized that this is really hard work and stressful and they didn’t want to do it.

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25

MUSIC

EVERYWHERE A SIGN L

uke Rocha, the local artist and music producer, recently passed us a vintagelooking CD called Karen Zinc and the Silver Recovery Presents the World Today. The cover is a composite of old photographs, yellowed and faded, of clean-cut children playing acoustic instruments. The album itself contains spoken testimonials of faith layered over harpsichords, kazoos and funky horn breaks.

The sounds are primitive, spiritual and deeply strange, like a Sunday-school class all stoned on the Holy Spirit.

Where could those kids have learned to make such loopy, futuristic music? Who is, or was, MORE Karen Zinc? A closer look at the cover revealed a tiny logo of a smiling T A INE cat near the bottom that ONL .COM H PITC says, “Magic Cat Records, a subsidiar y of Sy mbol Heavy.” But it still wasn’t clear: Was this a reissue of some private-press gospel record from the 1970s? or new material from Rocha? or both? or … what?

“There’s a whole story behind it,” the soft-spoken Rocha says.

With Symbol Heavy projects, it seems that there always is.

Rocha founded Symbol Heavy, a record label and artist collective, about a decade ago, with fellow producer Boyd Pro. The idea was to release music and showcase the talents of friends such as rapper Brother of Moses and DJ Beatbroker, whose collaborative The Forward Look 12-inch was the label’s first release. Symbol Heavy also put out instrumental albums by Rocha (under the name Topp Boom) and Pro, as well as Dragon Tears, a synth-driven bedroom-recording project by Rocha’s younger brother, Patrick.

In addition to these certifiably flesh-andblood musicians, Symbol Heavy’s roster contains a wide range of mysterious musical personas, many of whom happen to have sprung from Rocha’s mind. Each Symbol Heavy release is enhanced by artwork, zines and music videos, which open up new avenues for these thematic impulses. A tempting comparison for Rocha’s approach is the work of Portuguese author Fernando Pessoa, who created different names, styles and elaborate biographies for each of his literary personas.

But Rocha says his projects are less extensions of his own musical ego than a means of breathing new life into marginalized genres like disco or gospel. (A recent Topp Boom mix, for example, is built around recordings and promos for 1980s sex hotlines.)

“It’s never been about Luke Rocha, which is why I create these different aliases,” Rocha says. “They’re all art projects to me. I’m still trying to discover older shit, trying to resurrect some of these artists before they die out.”

Patrick Rocha compares his brother’s meticulously researched projects with the extensive notes that Stanley Kubrick amassed

M US I C

26

THE PITCH

in preparation for each of his films. “Luke has copious amounts of material to inspire the music and music to inspire the material,” he says. “We get inspired by just looking through his catalog.”

Like fellow Kansas City producer and InnateSounds founder Miles Bonny, the Symbol Heavy crew takes a workmanlike approach to making music, steadily releasing new projects, sampling from a wide variety of sources and collaborating with fellow artists. Pro, whose woozy tape loops, VHS transfers and electro-funk recordings are a Symbol Heavy staple, says it’s the variety and willingness to experiment that hold the collective together.

“All of our influences and aesthetics are different, but they all fit together well,” says Pro, who now lives in Seattle, where he maintains the label’s website. “When I get demos or drafts from Luke or Pat or anybody else, I’m pretty pumped to find out what might be on there. It could be anything, but whatever it is, it’s going to be pretty bonkers.”

Which brings us back to Karen Zinc and the Silver Recovery. When we caught up with Rocha again, he allowed that Zinc is a fictional character, and the Silver Recovery is the name of her imaginary backing band. The record — a free-form sound collage of old gos-

FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

pitch.com

A trip down local label Symbol

BY

Heavy’s reality-bending rabbit hole

LUCAS WETZEL

Reflection that has been building a buzz online among fans of psych, experimental and electronic music.

The project was the brainchild of Rocha and Michael Hutcherson, a Kansas City native and itinerant musician. Taking a cheesyfunky 1969 United Artists release called The Electric Indian as a conceptual jumping-off point, the duo set out to make an album that would reflect their appreciation of Native American culture and early electronic music — an experiment that Rocha envisioned as an “electric powwow.”

Using the foundational elements provided

by Rocha, Hutcherson pieced together the album over the course of 2011, completing the bulk of it in Berlin while on a break from touring with 4AD recording artist Twin Shadow.

Along the way, he recruited a half-dozen musicians to take part, including Patrick Rocha, Sam Cohen (Apollo Sunshine) and George Lewis Jr. (Twin Shadow). The finished product is a kaleidoscopic tapestry of heady samples, fuzz guitar, Moog synths and polyrhythmic breaks — a stoner’s holy grail that has been getting some blogosphere love.

To accompany the album, Rocha made a series of collages, placing Native American imagery into colorful, surrealist backgrounds.

In one, a field of Tomahawk missiles is adorned with peace-pipe feathers. Another depicts a solemn American Indian chief with a blacked-out face wearing a drum machine around his neck.

By combining pictures of tribes with images of weaponry, popular culture and outdated means of musical production, Rocha turns what might have been mere kitsch into an ambiguous commentary on American history. It’s the type of progressive artistry that recently Reflections of the way life used to be earned him a 2012 Charlotte Street Visual Artist (in the 1980s).

Award, and Rocha credits the studio space and pel recordings, youth religion summits, and recognition provided by the Charlotte Street Foundation with helping him advance not just French children’s albums — is a Rocha joint from top to bottom. (It’s not yet available on his visual art but also his musical pursuits in the Symbol Heavy website, Symbol Heavy. and Rocha says he’s not sure “Luke’s getting the Char“I’m trying to resurrect when he’ll release it, though lotte Street award helped some of these artists probably sometime in the open up people’s eyes to next couple of months.) He what we were doing and got before they die out.” also revealed the cover of them to check out all this another unreleased album, stuff we have on the site for this one by a group called Magic Wanda and free,” Patrick Rocha says. “It made us want to the Crystal Balls. Rocha described them as a take Symbol Heavy to the next level.” sleazy disco group with a feminist, spokenFor now, Rocha says, that includes making word element, and he spoke of them as if they more videos and preparing a vinyl release of inhabited the corporeal world. Presumably Electric Indian with a full-size booklet of the Wanda and her pals are just another of Sym- artwork. He hopes that the project catches bol Heavy’s elaborately researched, carefully on with audiences worldwide, of course, but cultivated musical collages. But in a way, you he has no interest in abandoning Symbol always kind of wonder.

Heavy’s obscurity-celebrating, reality-bending mystique. There will always be hidden tracks, bonus materials and limited-edition releases — all delivered with a subtle wink. p to this point, Symbol Heavy has lacked “I want it to stay underground forever,” the kind of flagship artist that could carry the label to audiences outside the Rocha says. “That’s the truth.” underground. But that could change with Electric Indian, a late-2012 release by Your E-mail feedback@pitch.com

U

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M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X

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FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

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27

MUSIC

RADAR

M U S I C F O R E CAST

BY

Other shows worth seeing this week.

D AV ID HUDN A L L

T H U R S D AY, F E B R U A R Y 1 4 Broncho, Up the Academy, the Sluts: Jackpot Music Hall, 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-832-1085.

Mike McClure, the Damn Quails: 10 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456.

Carrie Rodriguez: 8 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456.

Twenty One Pilots, New Politics: 7:30 p.m. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483.

Jimmie Walker: 7:30 & 9 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club, 1867 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-400-7500.

Shake, Rattle & Roll With Bobby Watson and His All-Star Big Band

Kansas City’s adopted jazz father, Bobby Watson, has assembled about 20 of the finest jazz musicians in the region — David Basse, Rod Fleeman, Dan Thomas, Steve Malloy, Horace Washington and Roger Wilder, to name a few — for two evenings of standards and Watson originals. Wear a tie: This shit is special.

Friday, February 15, and Saturday, February 16, at the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts (1601 Broadway, 816-994-7222)

F R I D AY, F E B R U A R Y 15

Kishi Bashi (left) and Arrington de Dionyso

Kishi Bashi

Are you a fan of Andrew Bird’s violins and loops but find some of his songs a little too clinical? Do you dig Animal Collective’s dreamy electronics but wish the group would inch just a smidgen closer toward pop’s center? K Ishibashi (stage name: Kishi Bashi) might be your huckleberry. Ishibashi is a multi-instrumentalist who has played with Of Montreal, Sondre Lerche and Regina Spektor.

Kishi Bashi’s 2012 album, 151a, is a lush bit of orchestral folk pop that measures up to the work of those former collaborators.

Sunday, February 17, at RecordBar (1020 Westport Road, 816-753-5207)

legitimately be) just a friendly country dude.

He slips Van Morrison, Stevie Wonder and Nirvana into his set lists. He occasionally indulges an itch to jam out. And his ruralpandering songs — I’m thinking specifically of “Chicken Fried” — turn out to be kind of charming despite themselves. Given the alternatives, we should all be rooting for this guy.

Friday, February 15, at Sprint Center (1407 Grand, 816-949-7000)

Rev Gusto, with Not a Planet, David Hasselhoff on Acid and Cherokee Rock Rifle

Arrington de Dionyso’s noisy free jazz — a stew of bass-clarinet blurts, throat singing, polyrhythmic drumming and feral world music — has earned him acclaim among the types of music fans who subscribe to defiantly nonmainstream magazines like the U.K.’s The Wire.

So it stands to reason that during his stop here in town, he’ll be performing alongside some of Kansas City’s avant-garde elite: Snuff Jazzcentric musicians Mark Southerland, Ashley Miller and Shawn Hansen. Expo ’70 opens.

Monday, February 18, at RecordBar (1020 Westport Road, 816-753-5207)

Keep an eye on Rev Gusto. The local five-piece looks young but already has a reasonably firm grip on how to write a freewheeling jangler. I caught the group a few weeks back, when it opened for Free Energy, and was charmed by its ramshackle ’60s garage pop. Not a Planet also played that show; the trio cranked out some lively alt rock with blues and folk undertones. This show, which also offers fried-out funk metal from David Hasselhoff on Acid and howling hard rock from Cherokee Rock Rifle, is another MidCoast Takeover event, benefiting local bands making the trek to South By Southwest in a few weeks.

Saturday, February 16, at the Brick (1727 McGee, 816-421-1634)

Zac Brown Band

Tribute to Amy Winehouse

Arrington de Dionyso

Zac Brown is probably the most likable figure at the moment in modern country music, at least from where we freedom-hating, citydwelling liberals sit. Rather than work the combative-redneck angle, a la Toby Keith, Brown projects the image of (and appears to

The band assembled for this evening of odes to the troubled ’00s soul diva includes members of local acts the Grisly Hand, the Good Foot, the New Riddim and the Elders; its first Winehouse tribute was on a Sunday night back in December, at the Hooligan Holiday Party at the

F O R E C A S T

28

Beaumont Club. For those who had to work the following Monday and missed it, this Saturdaynight performance should allow enough buffer before the start of the workweek.

Saturday, February 16, at RecordBar (1020 Westport Road, 816-753-5207)

Ha Ha Tonka

A Ha Ha Tonka performance in Kansas City isn’t the rarest thing in the world — half of the members have migrated here from their native Springfield, Missouri — but this special Valentine’s Day gig at Kanza Hall feels noteworthy. If nothing else, it’s a chance to explore the newish Overland Park venue, which is part of the One Block South development, a nightlife cluster for South Kansas Citians. “Upscale country roadhouse” is the general vibe inside Kanza, which should be a welcome setting for Ha Ha Tonka’s uptempo roots rock.

Thursday, February 14, at Kanza Hall (7300 West 119th Street, Overland Park, 913-451-0444)

Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears

Delta blues, Memphis soul, Detroit garage — listening to Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears is like taking a north-south road trip in midcentury Middle America. As revivalists, the Austin group falls somewhere between the Black Keys (fuzzy vocals, Howlin’ Wolf reverence) and Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings (Stax-y horns).

Thursday, February 14, at the Riot Room (4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179)

K E Y ............................................... Possible Beehives

........................................................... NPR Types

..............................Possible Marriage Proposals

................................... Rehab Is for Quitters, Bro

.................................................. Locally Sourced

.......................................Conservatory Students

........................................................ Soul Revival

.......................................... Really Fucking Weird

...............................................Not a Type of Food

..................................................................Classy

........................................................Melody-Free

........................................................Young Bucks

............................................ The Southern Thing

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Candlebox, Evalyn Awake, Little Rosco: 7:30 p.m.

The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179.

Delta Saints, Blackfoot Gypsies: 8 p.m. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483.

Kurt Elling: Gem Theater, 1615 E. 18th St., 816-842-1414.

Fatman Scoop: Mosaic Lounge, 1331 Walnut, 816-679-0076.

Royal Southern Brotherhood: 8:30 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456.

Jimmie Walker: 7:45 & 9:45 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club, 1867 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-400-7500.

S U N D AY, F E B R U A R Y 17 Gary Allan: 8 p.m. VooDoo Lounge, Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City, 816-472-7777.

Electric Six, the Dead Girls: 8 p.m. The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179.

Mod Sun & Cisco Adler, Tayyib Ali, Pat Brown & Bryan Lockwood: The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390.

Nick Offerman: The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900.

Jimmie Walker: 7 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club, 1867 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-400-7500.

M O N D AY, F E B R U A R Y 18

T U E S D AY, F E B R U A R Y 19 Inspired School of Astral Music, Scammers, Curtains: The Brick, 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634.

Mingo Fishtrap, Til Willis: The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483.

W E D N E S D AY, F E B R U A R Y 2 0 Wednesday 13, Calabreze, Cold Blue Rebels, Razorwire Halo, Night Creation: 6 p.m. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390.

FUTURECAST

........................................Probable Cowboy Hats

FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

S AT U R D AY, F E B R U A R Y 16

King Conquer: The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483.

..................................................Pick of the Week

THE PITCH

Galactic, Boombox: Liberty Hall, 644 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1972.

Phil Hamilton & Rich O’Toole: The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390.

Chris Knight: 9 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456.

Jimmie Walker: 7:45 & 9:45 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club, 1867 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-400-7500.

Waka Winter Classic: 9 p.m. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483.

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THURSDAY 21 Hospital Ships, Killer Bob: 10 p.m. Replay Lounge, Lawrence Toro Y Moi, Sinkane: The Granada, Lawrence FRIDAY 22 Talib Kweli: The Granada, Lawrence SATURDAY 23 Yo Gabba Gabba: 2 & 5 p.m. The Midland TUESDAY 26 Excision, Paper Diamond, Vaski: 8 p.m. The Midland WEDNESDAY 27 3 Doors Down, Daughtry, Ananda: 6 p.m. Uptown Theater

M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X

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NIGHTLIFE

WHERE THE BEST MUSICIANS IN THE WORLD PLAY

KNUCKLEHEADS F re e S h u tt le in S u rr o u n d in g A reth e a

Send submissions to Berry Anderson by e-mail (berry.anderson@pitch.com), fax (816-756-0502) or phone (816-218-6775).

Continuing items must be resubmitted monthly.

T H U R S D AY 1 4

FEBRUARY

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL

2/13: THE WHAMMY “ONE BAD ASS ROCKABILLY SHOW”

B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. John Paul’s Flying Circus with Bill Dye and Dave Hays, 7:30 p.m.

Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-753-1909.

Coyote Bill, Grenadina, the Rackatees, 9 p.m.

The Hideout: 6948 N. Oak Tfwy., 816-468-0550. Paul Greenlease, Night Train.

Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Grand Marquis.

Jazz: 1859 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-3280003. Billy Ebeling, 6 p.m.

The Levee: 16 W. 43rd St., 816-561-2821. The Lonnie Ray Blues Band, 8 p.m.

DJ The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-8415483. Team Bear Club’s Goomba Rave, 11 p.m.

Buzzard Beach: 4110 Pennsylvania, 816-753-4455. Trivia, Ladies’ Night with DJ HoodNasty.

The Gusto Lounge: 504 Westport Rd., 816-974-8786. Pop Shots with Clockwerk & DJ Archi.

Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676.

Sad Bastard Night with DJ Baby Grandma.

The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. Playe, 10:30 p.m.

featuring Slim Jim Phantom, Jonny Bowler, Tim Polecat, & The Rumblejetts 14: Carrie Rodriguez 15: Chris Knight

JAZZ The Blue Room: 1616 E. 18th St., 816-474-8463. Esquire Band, 7 p.m.

The Kill Devil Club: 61 E. 14th St., 816-877-8312. Miles Bonny, 7 p.m.

The Majestic Restaurant: 931 Broadway, 816-221-1888. Paul Shinn Trio, 6 p.m.

The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-221-5299. Dan Doran, 7 p.m.

2/16: ROYAL SOUTHERN BROTHERHOOD

BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS Bulldog: 1715 Main, 816-421-4799. Brodioke.

Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. Karaoke, 10 p.m.

RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Trivia Clash, 7 p.m.

EASY LISTENING Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. John Keck’s Angels and Devils with Garnet Griebel, $5.

Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. Hot Caution Thursdays, 10 p.m., free.

Jerry’s Bait Shop: 13412 Santa Fe Trail Dr., Lenexa, 913-8949676. Jason Kayne, 9 p.m.

Lenexa Longbranch Steakhouse: 8600 Marshall Dr., Overland Park, 913-894-5334. Briar, 7 p.m.

RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Molly Erwin, Camry Ivory and Amanda Hughey, 10 p.m.

The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. Songwriter’s Showcase with Megan Birdsall, 7:3 p.m.

21: North Mississippi Allstars 22: Mingo Fishtrap w/ Sarah & The Tall Boys 23: Samantha Fish & Damon Fowler 26: Dale Watson, Jason D. Williams, Sleepy LaBeef 27: Dirty River Boys 28: Tom Russell

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS

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ANTI VALENTINE’S PARTY SINGLE LADIES NIGHT PUNCHING BAG & DARTBOARD BRING PIX OF YOUR EX! JELLO SHOTS & DRINKS SPECIALS

MARCH 1: Atlantic Express 2: Bettye LaVette

FEBRUARY 15:

DEAD GIRL DERBY HOSTS DJ SAM BLAM & SPECIAL GUEST DJ CRAZY DRINK SPECIALS

FEBRUARY 16:

For more info & tickets: knuckleheadskc.com 2715 Rochester, KCMO

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FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

MIZZOU VS ARKANSAS WATCH PARTY T-SHIRT GIVEAWAY FOR BEST MIZZOU OUTFIT RAMBLING MINDS CADILLAC FLAMBE THE PITCH STREET TEAM KITCHEN OPEN: FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS

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Double T’s Roadhouse: 1421 Merriam Ln., Kansas City, Kan., 913-432-5555. RocknRick’s Boogie Leggin’ Blues Band, 7 p.m.

Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816-525-1871.

Blues, Country and Classic Rock Jam.

F R I D AY 15 ROCK/POP/INDIE Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. The Rocketboys, We Are Voices, Mike Mains and the Branches, Dinner and a Suit.

Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-753-1909.

Lucid Existence, Population Not, Damned by the Pope, No Safe Haven, Another Texas Murder Scene, 9 p.m.

Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8321085. Har-Di-Har, Tiger Waves, Something and the Whatevers, Electric Needle.

RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Schwervon, the Lucky, Heavy Figs, 10 p.m.

Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676.

Dry Bonnet 7-inch release with Pale Hearts, 10 p.m.

Uptown Theater: 3700 Broadway, 816-753-8665. Jayrock 8 with Quiet Corral and Cowboy Indian Bear, 7 p.m.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Shannon and the Rhythm Kings, 9 p.m.

The Hideout: 6948 N. Oak Tfwy., 816-468-0550. Levee Town.

Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Brody Buster Band.

Jazz: 1859 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-3280003. Brian Ruskin Quartet, 7 p.m.

Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Smokin Joe Kubek & B’nois King, 7 & 10 p.m.

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Bar West: 7174 Renner Rd., Shawnee, 913-248-9378. The Outlaw Junkies.

Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. St. Dallas & the Sinners, the King Devilles, A.J. Gaither, $5.

Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816-525-1871.

County Road 5.

DJ The Gusto Lounge: 504 Westport Rd., 816-974-8786. The Frenzy with Brent Tactic.

Hotel: 1300 Grand, 816-226-3232. DJ Mike Scott.

MiniBar: 3810 Broadway, 816-326-8281. Soulnice.

The Quaff: 1010 Broadway, 816-471-1918. DJ E. Z Strike: 1370 Grand, 816-471-2316. DJ Nuveau, 9 p.m.

HIP-HOP The Riot Room: 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. Info Gates, Godemis, Barbaric Merits DJ set, Louiz Rip, 8 p.m.

JAZZ The Blue Room: 1616 E. 18th St., 816-4748463. Charles Williams with Ron Guitierrez and Eddie Charles.

E R O M The Kill Devil Club: 61 E. 14th St., 816-877-8312. Clint Ashlock, Damon Parker, 8 p.m.

S The Majestic Restaurant: 931 ING LIST E AT Broadway, 816-221-1888. Patrick GilIN ONL bert, 5 p.m.; Mike Pagan Trio, 7 p.m.

M PITCH.CO The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816221-5299. Lonnie McFadden, 4:30 p.m.

CLUB

WORLD Blvd. Nights: 2805 Southwest Blvd., 816-931-6900. Good Fridays: International Party Experience, 10 p.m.

Irish Museum and Cultural Center: 30 W. Pershing Rd., Ste 700, 816-474-3848. Irish Winterfest with Tullamore.

COVERS The Dubliner: 170 E. 14th St., 816-268-4700. The Transients.

Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1387.

Sellout.

Jerry’s Bait Shop: 13412 Santa Fe Trail Dr., Lenexa, 913-8949676. Thin Ice. Lenexa Longbranch Steakhouse: 8600 Marshall Dr., Overland Park, 913-894-5334. The Boomerz, 8 p.m.

The Levee: 16 W. 43rd St., 816-561-2821. The Black Jackets.

VooDoo Lounge: Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City, 816-472-7777. Revelation, Women of Rock, Rattle and Hum.

BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS ComedyCity at Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-842-2744. Major League Improv, 7:30 p.m.

Helen’s Just Another Dive: 2002 Armour Rd., North Kansas City, 816-471-4567. Trivia Riot with Roland, 7:30 p.m., $5.

The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. Freaky Friday variety show with Dr. Dumpe, Reverend Al, John Hicks, Shaun Rivera, J.D. Roberts, 7 p.m., $10.

EASY LISTENING The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. David George & A Crooked Mile, Jack Klatt, Cold Steel.

RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Love Hangover, 6 p.m.

The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. Tara Elisha and friends.

S AT U R D AY 16 ROCK/POP/INDIE Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. Blaze Malaise, the Givens, 10 p.m.

Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. Country Mice, Berwanger, Brent Windler, 8 p.m.

The Granada: 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390.

Magfuckingnificent, Found a Job. Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8321085. Alien Jones, Downside Up, Evil Twin.

Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-7497676. Karma Vision, Agent X-12, Scammers, 10 p.m.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Mama Ray’s Jazz -Meets-Blues Jam, 2-5:30 p.m.; Levee Town, 9 p.m.

The Hideout: 6948 N. Oak Tfwy., 816-468-0550. The SuperMatics.

Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Big 3 with John Paul Drum.

Jazz: 1859 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-328-0003.

Billy Ebeling and the Late for Dinner Band.

The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-221-5299. Cold Sweat, 9 p.m.

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UPCOMING SHOWS: 2/15 2/16

2/22 VooDoo Presents: Revelation: A Tribute to Journey 2/23 Saturday Night Vibrations 1-800-745-3000

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FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

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31

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-753-1909.

The Courage Family, Tater Famine, the Calamity Cubes, Filthy Still, Carrie Nation and the Speakeasy, 8 p.m.

DJ

GIVE THE GIFT OF 5 PARTIES

The Gusto Lounge: 504 Westport Rd., 816-974-8786. #Cake with DJ G-Train & Approach.

Hotel: 1300 Grand, 816-226-3232. DJ Eric Coomes.

The Quaff: 1010 Broadway, 816-471-1918. DJ Chris.

JAZZ The Kill Devil Club: 61 E. 14th St., 816-877-8312. Mark Lowrey & the Lil’ Big Band, 9 p.m.

The Majestic Restaurant: 931 Broadway, 816-221-1888. Joe DiFio, 5 p.m.; Mike Pagan Trio, 7 p.m.

The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-221-5299. Tim Whitmer & KC Express, 4:30 p.m.

PASSPORTS

TO ALL PITCH EVENTS ARE

NOW AVAILABLE! • H IT E VE RY •

COMEDY ComedyCity at Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-842-2744. Major League Improv, 7:30 p.m.; ComedyCity After Dark, 10 p.m.

Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. Dirty Dorothy, 10 p.m.

Westport Coffee House: 4010 Pennsylvania, 816-756-3222. The Kick Comedy Theatre: the Kick-Off Improv Comedy Show, 8 p.m.

COVERS Double T’s Roadhouse: 1421 Merriam Ln., Kansas City, Kan., 913-432-5555. Skooter Trash, 9 p.m.

The Dubliner: 170 E. 14th St., 816-268-4700. Retroactive.

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Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-842-1919. Charity Bingo, 5 p.m.; Loreal’s Calendar Girls Contest, 7 p.m.; Maryoke, 9 p.m.

The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. Art of the Tease with the Vibe Tribe KC, 8 p.m.

Wallaby’s Grill and Pub: 9562 Lackman, Lenexa, 913-541-9255.

Karaoke, 9 p.m.

EASY LISTENING Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. Jake Wesley Rogers, the Collective, Brent Lee, 6 p.m.

Johnny’s Tavern: 8262 Mission, Prairie Village, 913-901-0322.

Jason Kayne, 10 p.m.

RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Drunkard’s Dream, 7 p.m.

S U N D AY 17 BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Lee McBee and the Confessors, 6 p.m.

Jazz: 1859 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-328-0003.

Jay EuDaly, 3-7 p.m.

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676.

The Calamity Cubes, Tater Famine.

BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-8415483. Smackdown trivia and karaoke, 9 p.m.

Frank James Saloon: 10919 N.W. Hwy. 45, Parkville, 816-5050800. Karaoke, 6-10 p.m.

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The Hideout: 6948 N. Oak Tfwy., 816-468-0550. Open blues jam.

Irish Museum and Cultural Center: 30 W. Pershing Rd., Ste 700, 816-474-3848. An Seisiun, a traditional Irish jam session.

Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Open Jam with Levee Town, 2-7 p.m., free.

The Majestic Restaurant: 931 Broadway, 816-221-1888. Mark Lowrey jazz jam, 5 p.m.

M O N D AY 18 ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Barnyard Beer: 925 Iowa, Lawrence, 785-393-9696. Mudstomp Mondays.

The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Rural Grit Happy Hour, 6 p.m.

Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Alexis Barclay.

DJ Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-753-1909.

Dark Mondays with DJ Desmodus, 10:30 p.m.

HIP-HOP Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. Stitch, Huey P. Nuisance, Dan Matic, Dose, High Rise Robots, DJ Cosmic Mafia, 8 p.m.

Gusto Lounge: 504 Westport Rd., 816-974-8786. Dre Day with DJ Mahf, Brent Tactic and Steddy P.

BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Karaoke, 10:30 p.m.

Bulldog: 1715 Main, 816-421-4799. Trivia, service industry night.

Green Room Burgers & Beer: 4010 Pennsylvania, Ste. D, 816216-7682. Geeks Who Drink Pub Quiz.

RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Music Trivia, 7 p.m.

Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676.

Sam Club Karaoke with Scary Manilow, 10 p.m.

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-753-1909.

Songwriter’s Scene Open Mic with Jon Theobald, 7 p.m.

The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. Jonny Green and Jake Stanton jam session, 8 p.m.; James Inman’s comedy, 10 p.m.

T U E S D AY 19 ROCK/POP/INDIE Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816-525-1871.

Jim Kilroy’s Metal Wars.

RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. West Water Outlaws, Katy Guillen, 10 p.m.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Hudspeth and Shinetop, 7-10 p.m.

The Hideout: 6948 N. Oak Tfwy., 816-468-0550. Jacque Garoutte.

Slow Ride Roadhouse: 1350 N. Third St., Lawrence, 785-7492727. Lonnie Ray Blues Band.

BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. Team Trivia, 7 p.m.

Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-842-1919. Trivia, 7 p.m.

Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8321085. Karaoke.

MiniBar: 3810 Broadway, 816-326-8281. Robert Moore’s Name That Tune, 7 p.m.

EASY LISTENING The All-Star Rock Bar: 7210 N.E. 43rd St., 816-452-2660.

Scott Ford Songwriter Showcase, 7 p.m.

The Riot Room: 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. Perelandra, Casey and Cora, the Lesser Bear, 7 p.m.

W E D N E S D AY 2 0 ROCK/POP/INDIE The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483.

Scruffy and the Janitors, Stiff Middle Fingers, Black on Black.

Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-753-1909.

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Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676.

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BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Shinetop Jr. Jazz: 1859 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-328-0003.

Andy Dewitt, 6-9 p.m.

Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Gospel Lounge with Carl Butler, 7:30 p.m.

The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-221-5299. The Brian Ruskin Quartet, 7 p.m.

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Outlaw Jim & the Whiskey Benders, 8 p.m.

DJ Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. DJ Robert Moore, 9 p.m.

The Gusto Lounge: 504 Westport Rd., 816-974-8786. The Beatdown with Leo Night Us.

BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS 403 Club: 403 N. Fifth St., 913-499-8392. Pinball tournament.

Johnny’s Tavern: 10384 S. Ridgeview, Olathe, 913-378-0744.

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The Quaff: 1010 Broadway, 816-471-1918. Karaoke, 9 p.m.

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Kansas City’s

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a 14-year-old son. I’ve raised him on my own basically since birth, with help from some good friends and nearby family. Overall he’s a good kid. Our relationship isn’t perfect, but no major issues. Over the past year, however, I’ve become increasingly convinced that he’s gay. I’ve found gay porn on his laptop (yes, I snoop; I pay the bill and I’m his dad); he has shown zero interest in girls; and he has always been a tad effeminate, though I know that’s probably an unfair stereotype. I support full equality for same-sex couples.

And if my son is gay, while I won’t pretend it’d be no big deal and not require a bit of mental adjustment, I’d love him and support him fully.

My son has a friend (let’s call him “Gomer”) who comes over often. Sometimes they’re here when I’m not, and often they’re alone with the door closed. If Gomer were a girl, these things wouldn’t be allowed. I’ve had the (straight) sex talk with my son, and he knows that I don’t want him to be sexually active yet. But a friendship with a guy isn’t sexual … unless it is. I have no problem with them hanging out. But if my son were gay, I would have a different, stricter set of rules regarding male friends. But how do I broach the subject?

He’s a sensitive kid, and I worry that he’d lie or resent me. And if he’s not gay, I worry I could seriously damage our relationship and hurt his pride by suggesting he is.

Dad Under Duress Dear DUD: “In an ideal world, Dad Under Du-

ress would take a slow and roundabout way to encourage his son to come out to him,” says John Schwartz, a correspondent for The New York Times, a father of three and the author of Oddly Normal: One Family’s Struggle to Help Their Teenage Son Come to Terms With His Sexuality. “Instead of a direct confrontation — are you gay or what? — DUD could make gay issues a part of the day’s general conversation. Discuss issues like same-sex marriage and stories in the newspaper that bring up LGBT themes.

In that middle ground between pushing and ignoring, his son might decide that his dad is safe to come out to.”

Queer kids should be allowed to reveal their sexuality on their own timetable, Schwartz emphasizes, but there are times when a parent has to force the issue. For instance, if a not-yet-out gay kid is in crisis, or if a parent stumbles over evidence that a not-yet-out gay kid is doing something risky, a parent can and should go the “are you gay or what?” route. In your case, you already know your son is gay — “Browsers don’t lie,” Schwartz says — and the fact that your son might be having sex in his room, thereby breaking dad’s house rules, may rise to the level of “are you gay or what?”

“If he’d tell a hetero boy to keep his door open, a gay boy should get the same message,” says Schwartz. “He should keep in mind, though, that if his son is already having sex with his buddy, telling him he can’t do it at home is likely to send them off to places — to school, to

34

THE PITCH

FEBRUARY 14-20, 2013

pitch.com

BY

D A N S AVA G E

a car — where getting caught could have bigger consequences than getting grounded.”

If your gut tells you that your son isn’t ready and that he would be traumatized if you forced him to come out, you might wanna let him think he’s pulling one over on his clueless straight dad. But John Schwartz’s gay son, Joseph, thinks it’s time for a gay sex talk.

“Gay kids need sex education more than straight ones,” Joseph tells his dad. While your son might have had sex education in school, even the best sex-ed classes focus on malefemale. So gay kids turn to the Internet — or to porn — for information and, as Joseph points out, “half of it could be physically dangerous, and the rest is poorly explained.”

“If he’s lucky,” Schwartz says, “DUD lives near an LGBT center with a youth program, which will help his son find a community and also get a healthy dose of sex ed and risk reduction. If not, he could be in for an uncomfortable conversation or two. But the underlying message you’ll be sending is that you care, and that you’re the dad.”

Dear Dan: What are the effects of perpetuating

the myth that gay men should all be tanned and chiseled Adonises? Because that is all one sees.

Not All Adonises Dear NAA: In the last 24 hours of casual media consumption, I’ve seen my fair share of tanned and chiseled Adonises. I’ve also seen pictures and/or video of Bayard Rustin, Barney Frank, Harvey Fierstein, Harvey Milk, Daniel Hernandez Jr., Ian McKellen, Evan Wolfson, Jinkx Monsoon, Jared Polis, Bruce Vilanch, Alan Turing, George Kalogridis, and more.

Images of perfect male bodies can fuel body-image issues in both gay and straight men. Gay men in particular are at higher risk of anorexia, bulimia and “bigorexia” (aka muscle dysmorphia, or “gay dude who lives at the gym”). So those images of tanned and chiseled Adonises can do harm. But if all one sees are images of tanned and chiseled Adonises, then that’s all one is looking for.

Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.

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Simple, Uncontested + Filing Fee. Don Davis. 816-531-1330

Personal Injury & Employment Law

Brady & Associates Law Office. 913-696-0925 Licensed In Missouri, Kansas and Colorado.

WWW.MBRADYLAW.COM

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We purchase cars, trucks, and farm equipment!

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Must have valid ID (913) 238-0374

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lifestylesofkc.com

Cupid's Toga Party this weekend.

House Parties Every Friday & Saturday Night.

Hot Tub, Dance Pole, Live DJ, Pool Table

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913-742-0022

CASH FOR CARS

Wrecked, Damaged or Broken.

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SPEEDING DWI CRIMINAL SOLICITATION Call Tim Tompkins Today KCTrafficlawyer.com 913-707-4357 816-729-2606

HOTEL ROOMS A-1 Motel 816-765-6300 Capital Inn 816-765-4331

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$150 Deposit, All Utilities Paid, Laundry Facilities.

Holiday Apts, 115 W. Harlem Rd, KCMO 816-221-1721

DWI, SOLICITATION, INTERNET BASED CRIMES

816-221-5900

www.The-Law.com

Law office of David M. Lurie

6101 E. 87th St./Hillcrest Rd. HBO,Phone,Banq. Hall

$37.06 Day/ $149 Week/ $499 Month + Tax

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$$ Paying Top Dollar $$ For Junk Cars & Trucks Missouri: 816-241-7548 Kansas: 913-321-1000

DUI/DWI, KS, MO

P.I.--Work Comp.--Bankruptcy Reasonable rates!

Susan Bratcher www.bratcherlaw.biz

816-453-2240

ERICA'S PSYCHIC STUDIO

$10

Reunites Love- Depression-Finances Success 100% Guaranteed Results !

816-965-7125

Readings

$99 DIVORCE $99

Simple, Uncontested + Filing Fee. Don Davis. 816-531-1330

$$$ CASH $$$

We purchase cars, trucks, and farm equipment!

No titles needed!

Must have valid ID (913) 238-0374

Attorney since 1976: 913-345-4100, KS/MO. Injuries, workers comp, criminal, divorce, DUI, traffic, and more. Low fees, Call Greg Bangs.

ADOPT: Art Music Laughter, Nurturing Educated Secure Family awaits 1st precious baby. Expenses paid Karen 1.800.557.9529 kasa70@yahoo.com

* DWI * * CRIMINAL * * TRAFFIC * Practice emphasizing DWI defense.

Experienced, knowledgeable attorney will take the time to listen and inform.

Free initial phone consultation.

THE LAW OFFICE OF DENISE KIRBY 816-221-3691