2018
Wedding Planner Everything a bride-to-be needs to plan her perfect day
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Wedding Planner January 2018
PRE-WEDDING PLANNING AND EVENTS Perfect day planning calendar Preparation budget list Engagement parties Fit the dress workouts Dance lessons Bachelor and bachelorette parties Rehearsal dinner tips Rehearsal dinner guest list
4 8 10 13 14 16 18 20
BOOKING YOUR KEY VENDORS Hiring a wedding planner Ceremony location Reception venues Photography tips and checklist Wedding music
21 22 24 26 29
BEAUTIFUL AND MEMORABLE Selecting your dress Headpieces and veils Bridal attire work sheet Hair styling Makeup tips Tuxedos tips Groom’s attire work sheet The groom’s calendar Wedding day packing list
30 34 36 38 39 40 41 42 43
MAKE IT YOURS Choosing invitations Floral trends Floral work sheet Ceremony touches and traditions Writing your own vows Romantic rituals Interfaith weddings How to include your pets Second weddings Reception creativity Eco-friendly choices Designing a wedding cake Wedding cake work sheet Dessert alternatives Wedding food trends Catering choices Toasts and speeches
44 45 47 48 50 51 52 53 54 56 59 61 64 65 66 68 70
HONEYMOON PLANS Honeymoon tips Honeymoon planning work sheet
71 73
LISTS AND FORMS Wedding registry Unconventional gift registries Making it official Guest list Gifts and thank-you notes 2018 planning calendar
74 75 76 77 80 82
ON THE COVER Casablanca wedding gown photo provided by Shirley’s Fashion Boutique
STAFF CONTRIBUTORS: Cathleen Cole Robin Good Melissa Haskin Cheryl Rose Rebecca Scott Haley Strahan SALES: Athena Fliegel DESIGN & PRODUCTION: Sasha Kincaid For more information or to get a copy of the 2018 Wedding Planner contact Athena Fliegel at 541.776.4385 or email afliegel@mailtribune.com
M U L T I M E D I A Mail Tribune
•
Ashland Tidings
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The Nickel
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A Perfect Day
The moment you have dreamed of has arrived: the man you adore has popped the question and you said YES! Now you can begin planning the wedding you’ve always wanted. Celebrate your love and commitment to your partner with a beautiful wedding. Of course, there is plenty of work that must go into planning a wedding. But don’t fret! It’s your wedding, which means you and your groom choose how large or small it is. Don’t feel pressured to have a huge, over-the-top wedding if it’s not in your budget, or if you just aren’t a fan of that type of event. Smaller, more intimate weddings can be just as lovely; it’s all in the planning. First of all, take a moment to imagine your wedding ceremony. Brainstorm about how you’d like your reception to be. Think about the things you want to include to make your big day truly special to you and a unique memory for your guests. Once you have mentally envisioned an ideal wedding and reception, the next step is to take action! Here is a timeline checklist to help you take care of business in the months, weeks and days leading up to the occasion.
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9-12 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING OO Set the date. If you plan to be married in a church, temple, mosque or in a religious service at home, clear the day and time with your clergy.
OO Reserve your reception site. OO Choose your attendants. Who will be the maid of honor, best man, attendants?
OO Announce your engagement. Place your engagement announcement in the Mail Tribune and Ashland Daily Tidings.
OO Decide on attire. Select your wedding gown, shoes and accessories, as well as bridesmaids’ dresses, tuxes, flower girl dresses.
OO Set the budget and style for the wedding, reception and weddingrelated parties. Decide who pays for what.
OO Determine the theme or mood. This is established with the food, table settings, flowers and entertainment.
OO Enlist help. Consider hiring a bridal consultant. If your budget won’t stretch that far, ask relatives and close friends to assist you in specific tasks, such as selecting a dress, interviewing caterers, locating a reception site.
OO Interview vendors. Meet with vendors, such as caterers, musicians, florists, photographers, videographers and bakers. Get cost estimates from each. OO Have an engagement party.
OO Compose your guest list. Let outof-town guests know your wedding is in the works so they can make travel plans.
6 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING OO Choose your caterer. Remember to get a written contract. OO Choose your musician(s).
OO Select your wedding invitations. Don’t forget to purchase personal stationEry for the thank-you notes.
OO Book your photographer or videographer.
OO Research a wedding insurance policy to protect deposits.
OO Decide your color scheme. OO Select a baker and order the cake. OO Choose your florist. OO Shop for wedding rings. OO Decide on your honeymoon destination. OO Send save-the-date cards.
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4 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING OO Register for gifts at one or more bridal registries. OO Help both mothers to coordinate and shop for their wedding-day attire. OO Select music for your ceremony and reception. OO Choose readings for your wedding and write your wedding vows. OO Plan and reserve a location for the rehearsal. OO Arrange hotel accommodations for out-of-town wedding party members. Reserve a block of rooms for other out-of-town guests, and let them know the rooms are available. OO Reserve your wedding-day transportation and any other wedding-day rental needs. OO Make appointments for gown fittings. OO Check the requirements for a marriage license. OO Make sure contracts and arrangements are complete with all of your service providers.
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3 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING
2 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING
OO Carefully prepare directions, including drawn maps if necessary, to help guide guests to the wedding reception and to hotels. Consider assembling an information package for guests traveling a long distance.
OO Mail your wedding invitations and announcements.
OO Begin addressing invitations and announcements. Invitations should be mailed 6-8 weeks before the wedding.
OO Finalize the music that will be played during your wedding ceremony. Meet with musicians to orchestrate precisely what you want and when. Don’t be shy to voice your preferences, down to the volume, favorite songs you’d like to hear, or even songs you don’t want played.
OO Give the caterer or food vendors an estimate on the number of guests expected at the wedding. OO Make sure all reservations are in place for honeymoon travel. OO Check with bridesmaids to make sure they have their gowns and are getting them adjusted. OO Shop for gifts for your bridesmaids. Offer to help your fiancé select gifts for his attendants. OO Select your “going away” outfit and special items for your trousseau. OO Make a date with your photographer for any formal portraits you desire. OO Make an appointment to have your hair done just before your portrait session and again on your wedding day. Consider including your bridesmaids in a “day of beauty” before your wedding with manicures, hair styling, massages and makeup sessions.
OO Have bridal portraits taken. OO Send bridal portrait and wedding announcement to newspapers.
OO Plan your rehearsal dinner and a brunch for out-of-town guests to enjoy on the day following your wedding. OO Plan a luncheon for bridesmaids. OO Make appointments: hairdresser, makeup artist and manicurist. OO Finalize honeymoon plans. If you are traveling overseas, check that your passports are current and that you have any necessary visas. OO Gather necessary birth or baptismal certificates you may need for your marriage license. OO Get your marriage license. OO Have final fitting of your gown. OO Make sure attendants have their attire finalized. OO Check that your menu selections and service plans are locked in place with the caterer.
OO Purchase a special book to keep track of wedding gifts as they arrive. OO Write thank-you notes on a daily basis! OO Draw up a seating plan and make place cards if you’re having a formal dinner reception. OO Check with your florist to confirm dates and times of flower deliveries. OO Review your wedding-day transportation plans and make sure drivers are clear about addresses, times and the number of passengers. OO Plan to change name or address on documents including driver’s license, Social Security forms and financial accounts. Fill out change-of-address forms at the post office. OO Meet with your photographer. Specify the formal shots you want taken of the bridal party, as well as specific candid shots you’d like taken during the reception.
3 WEEKS BEFORE THE WEDDING
ONE DAY BEFORE THE WEDDING
OO Keep writing thank-you notes for gifts!
OO Relax: take time to enjoy a massage, manicure and pedicure.
OO Pick up wedding rings.
OO Attend rehearsal ceremony and dinner.
OO Begin packing for your honeymoon. OO Touch base with all your vendors, and prepare a check to give them as agreed.
OO Go to bed early.
OO Ask a friend or family member to arrange for wedding gifts to be delivered to your home or another safe spot after your reception. OO Wrap gifts for bridal attendants and have them ready for the rehearsal dinner. OO Reconfirm honeymoon travel and hotel plans. OO Inform your caterer of the final number of guests. Confirm that outof-town guests are set with hotel accommodations, transportation and wedding-day directions.
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Preparation Budget List Budget
Actual
Budget
ATTIRE
STATIONERY
Gown & Alteration
Save-the-date
Headpiece & Veil
Invitations
Lingerie
Programs
Bridal Accessories
Place Cards
Hair & Makeup
Thank-Yous
Groom’s Tuxedo
Postage
Groom’s Accessories
Miscellaneous
Miscellaneous RECEPTION Venue CEREMONY
Catering
Venue Fee
Beverages
Officiant Fee
Cake
Marriage License
Rentals Services
RINGS Bride
TRANSPORTATION
Groom
Bride & Groom Wedding Party
ENTERTAINMENT
Out-of-Town Guests
Ceremony Music Reception DJ or Band
GIFTS/FAVORS
Equipment Rental
Guest Favors Wedding Party Gifts
FLOWERS & DECOR
Other Gifts
Flowers for Ceremony Reception Decorations
AFTER HOURS
Lighting
Wedding Night
Miscellaneous
Honeymoon
PHOTO/VIDEO
EXTRAS
Photography Video TOTAL
TOTAL GRAND TOTAL
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Actual
The Perfect Wedding Timeline Wedding timelines can be confusing when you’ve never done one. Even if you’ve attended a lot of wedding days, you probably haven’t paid much attention to how long each individual aspect lasted. The best way to keep your wedding day moving and on schedule is to work it out ahead of time. Below is a worksheet you can use to estimate and schedule each event of your big day.
TIME
EVENT
Sample Timeline 9:30 a.m. Makeup and hair 10:00 a.m. Getting-ready photos start 10:00 a.m. Setup starts and vendors arrive 10:30 a.m. Couple’s portraits 11:15 a.m. Family picture time 11:30 a.m. Guests start arriving 1:30 p.m. Time on the invitations 2:00 p.m. Wedding ceremony begins 2:30 p.m. Ceremony ends 2:40 p.m. Social hour / family photos 3:30 p.m. Lunch service begins 4:00 p.m. Toasts 4:30 p.m. First dance 6:00 p.m. Cutting the cake 7:15 p.m. Couple departs 7:30 p.m. Guests depart 7:30 p.m. Breakdown begins 8:30pm All vendors out
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Celebrating the Engagement Within a few months of the proposal, many couples celebrate the exciting news with an engagement party. Engagement parties are a great way to introduce the two families to each other in a cheerful, stress-free environment. Different groups of friends and relatives can also mingle and meet. Traditionally, the bride’s parents host the first celebration, but many couples are now tossing tradition aside. Today, an engagement party can be held by the groom’s parents, both sets of
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parents or the engaged couple. Friends of the couple may also volunteer to host the party. Traditional etiquette states you are not supposed to invite anyone to the engagement party who is not attending the wedding. However, more couples now live further away from their families and friends, and the formality of engagement parties has changed, along with people’s expectations of them. Nowadays, engagement parties often include people who are not invited to the wedding, such as
neighbors or co-workers. But there is a caveat: If you or your parents are hosting the engagement party, the old rules still apply. To avoid an awkward situation later, work on your wedding guest list now. Then pare down the engagement party list to your wedding party, immediate family and close friends. Engagement parties don’t need to match your wedding theme, colors or style, especially if you are undecided that soon. However, having a wedding website complete before the engagement party will help guests save the date, find the gift registry and plan ahead for travel or accommodations. An engagement party can happen almost anywhere. The number of guests will affect the cost. The venue will set the tone of the party. If you want a more elegant vibe, consider a country club, wine bar or private room at a restaurant. You could also choose a place which has special meaning for you and your fiancĂŠ, such as the restaurant where you had your first date. For a more formal party, you could also consider hiring a DJ or local band to play. You can also keep it casual and have a small house party or backyard barbecue. Whatever you decide, the food, invitations and decor should match the tone of the party. Party guests often want to know what to wear. Is it formal or casual? You could even include a quick sentence about this on your invitations. â–
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Don’t Stress the Dress Brides fit fitness into their wedding plans
The wedding day is the time when all attention is on the bride bejeweled and bedecked in a glorious gown. She wants to look her very best. How can she achieve her goal? By adding fitness training to her long wedding to-do list. TRY ON DRESSES FOR MOTIVATION Sometimes all it takes to get motivated to start a fitness program is trying on a few wedding dresses. Do you look a bit lumpy under that tight-fitting bodice? Do you want to go sleeveless but not until your arms are toned up? Pick the dress you love and then get to work! STICK TO YOUR FITNESS PLAN oo If sticking to a healthy diet and a fitness program is hard for you, consider getting in shape with a buddy or hire a personal trainer. Sometimes being accountable to another person helps. oo Ditch the junk food in your fridge and pantry and restock with healthy foods and snacks. It’s harder to be tempted by sugary and fatty foods when they are not within easy reach. oo Keep a cooler filled with healthy choices in your car when you’re traveling for work or pleasure to keep on track with your nutrition goals. BRIDAL TRAIN Many personal trainers recommend starting a fitness plan at least six months in advance of the wedding date. If the bride has more than 20 pounds to lose, she’ll need more time. oo Good, basic exercises include lunges, squats and kettle-bell swings. oo For the arms, try triceps kickbacks where you lean over holding threepound to five-pound weights at the chest and extend the arms back toward the rear. This exercise works the back of the arms.
oo For the midsection, reverse crunches work well. Lie flat on the floor with your palms facing down. Lift your legs up in the air with knees bent until your butt comes off the floor. EAT FRESH ALL DAY oo Forget three square meals a day, most trainers advise. Eat five to six small meals a day from the time you first wake up and then every two to three hours. The meals should include lean proteins such as turkey, chicken and fish. A little bit of lean beef is acceptable, too. oo Roughage is important, so salads are a good choice. Fresh fruits and vegetables can fill you up and satisfy a sweet tooth. And you still need some carbohydrates, which are essential for muscle recovery, according to health and fitness experts. oo Hydration is important, so up the water intake. Sodas are offlimits, even diet sodas because of the unhealthy ingredients and bloating factor. Limit caffeine, a diuretic, to two cups of coffee or tea a day. Also avoid overly processed foods, fast foods and fried foods. oo It’s also critical for stressed-out brides to get plenty of rest since sleep is the body’s recovery process. ■
oo With the shoulders, keep the weight light. Form and technique are everything to keep safe. Movements must be slow and precise to avoid injury.
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Dance WITH
CONFIDENCE Don’t settle for middle-school swaying Whether you are looking for a dance routine to go viral on YouTube or you simply don’t want to look like a fool with two left feet, dance lessons for brides and grooms should be on the wedding planning agenda.
START EARLY Most studios recommend beginning dance practice three to six months before the wedding, depending on whether you hope to master a classic box step or a choreographed routine. Starting sooner allows for less stress and more time to get comfortable with new skills, so that you can feel relaxed when dancing rather than counting steps.
SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP Even if one-half of the couple has experience, dance lessons together are fun. Dance studios offer private lessons for wedding couples. Depending on what the goals are, most couples can learn respectable skills within three to five lessons. If one partner is reluctant, remember that all eyes will be watching and that most songs last three to four minutes. Oh, and it will all be captured on video forever! A good dance instructor will listen to ideas regarding your “first dance” vision and go through options to achieve it.
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SPECIAL SONG SELECTION Learning steps and practicing can begin before a final “first dance” song is selected, but the music will influence the dance style. Pick something meaningful and representative to you as a couple, preferably with a steady beat.
PRACTICE! Make time to dance together between lessons and leading up to the wedding. Take advantage of group classes or dance nights out, but at least try to get in two practice sessions a week. Dancing, like marriage, is a team effort. ■
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Final Fling Hot trends in bachelor and bachelorette parties
Sunshine and relaxation
Getaways
Not everyone is a night owl, and some future brides and grooms opt for bachelor and bachelorette parties that take place during the sunlight hours. Spa days are a very popular choice for many brides, and offer the chance to take a break from the hectic wedding planning and spend downtime with friends. Grooms might choose a day of golf, beer-tasting or bike touring. Daytime bachelor and bachelorette parties offer lots of time for the bride and groom to enjoy experiences with their wedding party or friends.
The ultimate bachelor or bachelorette party is a multiday vacation to an exciting locale. Gambling in Las Vegas, skiing in Aspen, lying on a tropical beach in the Caribbean— anything goes! Of course, you should be mindful of budget when planning a dream getaway and considerate of what guests are willing to spend. But if everyone is on board, what better way to rest and recharge before the upcoming wedding than a bonding trip with your best friends?
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When planning 
a bachelor and
bachelorette party, there is only one thing on the agenda: lots of fun! From a night on the town to a weekend getaway, bachelor and bachelorette parties have long been a traditional component of wedding festivities. Meant to serve as a last goodbye to single life, the bachelor and bachelorette parties should be tailored to the tastes of the honoree. No longer just a night of heavy drinking and wild strip clubs (unless that’s your thing), bachelor and bachelorette parties can be anything you want them to be.
Better together Some couples choose to forego their separate bachelor and bachelorette parties in favor of a joint bash, celebrating with each other and all of their wedding party and friends. This could be a laid-back barbecue, an overnight stay at a nearby destination, or even a cruise or vacation. Couples who choose a combined bachelorand-bachelorette party may have a lot of shared friends, or just prefer spending the time together rather than on separate experiences.
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Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner is held on the evening before the wedding – right after the ceremony run-through. Usually, the groom’s parents are the hosts. However, sometimes the bride and groom host this event because both sets of parents are sharing the cost of the wedding.
WHO DO WE INVITE TO THE REHEARSAL DINNER? Every member of the wedding party (bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, and their spouses or dates); flower girls and ring bearers (and their parents); the parents of the bride and groom, grandparents, siblings and their spouses or dates; the pastor, officiant or special clergy; close family friends; and visiting out-of-town guests and relatives.
WHEN DO THE INVITATIONS GO OUT? Four weeks before the wedding, you should send out the rehearsal dinner invitations.
WHAT ABOUT MY OTHER FRIENDS? Have those who are not invited to the rehearsal dinner meet up with the group for a rehearsal party in the restaurant’s bar for a drink and some toasts to the couple. This is a nice way to include more people. Another idea is to send an evite to everyone saying the bride and groom will be at a certain bar, restaurant, hotel or house from 8-10 p.m. – come by for a rehearsal toast.
WHERE DO WE HAVE THE REHEARSAL DINNER? Keep it less formal than tomorrow’s wedding. Make it personal, perhaps a favorite restaurant (with a private room for your party) or maybe something casual, like an ale house (have a beer tasting). Other options could include a catered backyard party of pizza and beer, clambake or food trucks.
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DON’T FORGET THE TOASTS!
GIVE OUT YOUR PRESENTS
The groom’s father goes first (if he’s the host). He welcomes the guests. Next is the best man. Then the floor is open to any and all who wish to toast the couple. Make sure you toast each other (bride and groom) and thank everyone for coming and add a special thank you to the hosts.
This is the perfect time to give presents to your bridesmaids and groomsmen. As you give the gifts, make note of a special or funny moment these people have brought to your life. If the gift is something that you want your bridesmaids to wear at the wedding, make sure they know. Thank and have gifts for any other special people (grandparents, special family friends) and let them know how much their support and love have meant to you both. ■
MEMORY LANE Some couples also enjoy including a photo/video montage of their romance. The rehearsal dinner is a great time to share those special moments with your most intimate friends and family.
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WEDDING
PLANNERS
As the bride, you want to take special care and linger over your hair and makeup on your wedding day, but instead you are decorating the reception hall dressed in sweats and a ponytail. Not what you always pictured? What you need is a wedding planner. Wedding planners are experts in the details and schedules involved in weddings. These coordinators can help plan the vision from the beginning, get you started or take responsibility for a smooth event on the big day. They have contacts with other service providers, and they should be familiar with costs and current trends. WHEN TO HIRE A PLANNER Timewise: Optimally, a wedding planner should be the first service to book when brides actively begin planning a wedding, even if that is a year or more in advance. However, planners can work with short turnaround, too. Some brides may want to book the planner early, but do much of the legwork themselves and only have the planner actively involved in the last few weeks before the wedding. Mental health-wise: Planning a wedding is stressful and emotional, with dozens of decisions to make. Brides with full-time careers may want to hire out some of that stress. Also, indecisive brides who aren’t sure how to bring their ideas to fruition may want assistance. Wedding planners are enthusiastic supporters, sympathetic listeners and a neutral person when clashes of opinion occur with relatives or bridal party members. HOW TO PICK A PLANNER oo There is no official qualification to become a wedding planner. oo Reputation is key. Other than personal references, planners can hold memberships in organizations that require a credible reputation to join, such as the Better Business Bureau or Angie’s List. oo Experience is the most valuable credential for an event planner. oo Planners must be extremely organized, coping with many stressful situations with a calm exterior. oo Ultimately, it’s about rapport and trust. If you’ve checked the background and reputation of your candidate, the most important question to answer is whether you can work cohesively and intimately with this individual on one of the most memorable events of your life.
WHAT TASKS A PLANNER TACKLES Approaches and prices vary by wedding expert. Planners may charge a percentage of the total wedding budget, by the hour or offer packages for different services. One of the most popular coordination packages is for the professional to take charge the last four to eight weeks before the wedding, allowing the bride to focus on pre-wedding festivities. Here are some of the services most planners offer: oo Provide ongoing consultation for all things wedding oo Develop a customized budget plan oo Provide a schedule and month-to-month planning checklist oo Assist with vendor selection, providing a list of suitable and reputable vendors as needed oo Accompany bride to vendor meetings and review contracts oo Coordinate all vendors in advance and on the day of the wedding oo Assist with selecting the design/style of the wedding and/or reception oo Be a resource on wedding etiquette and traditions oo Direct attendants, rehearsals, processionals, recessionals and receiving lines oo Coordinate wedding day decorating, vendor deliveries and services, ceremony and reception oo Ensure all post-event tasks are taken care of after the couple leaves – gifts secured, rentals returned, gratuities paid ■
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All About That Space WEDDING CEREMONIES WITH OR WITHOUT WALLS He’s popped the question and the ring is on your finger. Now what? One of the first decisions a newly engaged person needs to make is deciding where to hold the ceremony. No longer exclusive to houses of worship and courtrooms, modern weddings happen in many different places in many different ways. Formal or casual, indoor or outdoor, nearby or a trip away, a wedding can be anything you want it to be. Here are some tips to help you decide what venue is right for your own fairytale wedding.
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Photos on both pages by Rebel Louise Photography
RELIGIOUS OR SECULAR? Many couples still opt to get married in the traditional setting of a church or another religious house. However, more and more, brides and grooms are choosing nontraditional locations. Wineries, restaurants, warehouses, beaches, forests – anything is fair game. Before you make the decision to marry in a church or outside of one, consider your own beliefs, as well as the ideals and traditions of your families. A church has the benefit of being set up for weddings, with seating provided, officiant at the ready, and appropriate facilities for guests. However, the music and rituals of the ceremony may be restricted based on the church’s guidelines. Alternatively, a nonreligious venue will be more flexible and allow you to have any kind of wedding you choose, but may require more work to make it guest-friendly, and you will have to obtain an officiant to perform the ceremony. A WEDDING IN PARADISE Does the idea of getting married on vacation appeal to you? You aren’t alone. Destination weddings are more popular than ever. Whether a tropical beach or lush winery is your idea of romance, most resorts and venues offer wedding services at a set price. In the case of a remote locale, a wedding planner on-site is an absolute must, as you will need someone familiar with the venue and businesses who contract with it. Make a plan to visit your wedding location at least once in advance of the wedding, to make plans and troubleshoot problems before the big day. ■
DON’T BREAK THE BUDGET
If you are flexible about dates and venues, there are many ways to save when planning for your wedding. Ask about rates on less popular days, like Sunday instead of Saturday. Morning events are also typically less expensive than prime-time evening events. If you are tying the knot in a popular location, you can reach out to other couples getting married the same day and suggest sharing floral arrangements and other décor. In the case of an all-inclusive venue, be sure to price items that are provided against the cost of bringing them in yourself or from another vendor.
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View venue to a
Picking the perfect place for the reception
All wedding checklists put selecting a reception location right at the top because reserving venues can be competitive, particularly for Saturdays in the spring and fall. In fact, couples may want to select the venue before setting the date for the wedding in order to be flexible in securing the desired location. Do your research and site visits early in the wedding planning process, so that you can make a timely decision. Depending on the venue, some may be taking reservations a year or more in advance.
Photo by Rebel Louise Photography
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WHAT TO CONSIDER WHEN BOOKING A RECEPTION VENUE: oo Guest list size can determine location options, so have your headcount ready before shopping for a facility. Typically, there are fewer venues that can accommodate large receptions. oo Being flexible about the date will open more options. June and September are the most popular wedding months. oo Visit venues that fit within your budget plans. oo Settle on a style or vibe before shopping. Are you casual or formal? Indoors or outdoors? Rustic, urban or elegant? oo If the ceremony is held elsewhere, a reception location relatively nearby can be helpful for guests. Some out-of-town guests may not have cars, so a central location can be a good choice. oo Do you want all-inclusive services or are you willing to work with multiple providers? For noninclusive options, are you prepared to be responsible for more coordination and details? oo If considering an outdoor option, is there a backup alternative if weather is a problem? Rain can be a spoiler, but so can heat and insects, so consider the time of day and season. oo What services/equipment do you need from the venue? For example, if you want to have a band, they will need a stage or other place to set up and sufficient power for audio equipment.
PREPARE A CHECKLIST AND ASK, ASK, ASK When you’ve narrowed your selections, don’t hesitate to ask lots of questions. For example, will there be more than one wedding in the venue on your day? Are there any décor, construction or landscape changes anticipated before your date? When can you get in to decorate and is that time included in the price or extra? Create a checklist and review before signing the contract. READ the contract FEES: Be sure you are aware of all fees. Most locations have deposit requirements. Many have additional charges for extra tables, linens, dance floor, AV equipment and tents. Some may have food and beverage minimums or service fees for staffing or clean up. These extra fees can bust a budget, so it’s important to know what you will need and what it will cost when pricing different facilities. RESTRICTIONS: Each venue will have its own rules about which caterers or vendors can be used, noise, décor changes allowed, parking, alcohol and much more. Ask directly what restrictions exist and compare against a checklist of your plans. CANCELLATION: Many venues have nonrefundable policies for cancellation, so be sure you know the commitment before signing. ■
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Capturing the Moments PHOTOGRAPHY TIPS
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CHOOSE A PHOTOGRAPHER oo Book a professional photographer early. oo Check references, portfolios and prices. oo Expect to spend 10-15 percent of your total wedding budget on photography. oo Find a photographer who meshes best with your personalities and vision for the wedding. oo Discuss your photography goals, whether you want a record of the day, traditional poses or artistic concepts.
IMPROVE THE ODDS OF GOOD PICS oo Provide the photographer with a wedding schedule, shot list and even a helper who can identify the members of the family and others to be in photos. oo On the shot list, prioritize what is most important to you.
Photography Checklist BRIDE
GROOM
oo Keep a clean space in the get-ready areas for photography. oo Have all the wedding details assembled and ready for photography: shoes, the dress, special jewelry, garter, gifts to your wedding party, mementos, the invitation. oo Build as much as two hours of time into the wedding schedule for portraits and group shots. If doing photography before the ceremony, brides will need to be on-site or ready approximately three hours before the ceremony.
Bride, close-up and full-length Bride with mother Bride with father Bride with parents Bride with brothers and sisters Bride with groom’s parents Bride with grandparents and other relatives
Groom, close-up and full-length Groom with mother Groom with father Groom with parents Groom with brothers and sisters Groom with bride’s parents Groom with grandparents and relatives
oo Lighting is crucial for great photography. Most photographers prefer natural light when at all possible. When booking venues, consider the natural light available for the ceremony and rooms designated for getting ready. oo Time of day matters for the best natural light, a consideration for working photography into the wedding schedule. Noon day brightness can cause harsh shadows, so a shaded area is best. The ideal hour for photography is the hour or so before sunset. oo The most stunning wedding pictures often have gorgeous natural backdrops. Continued on page 28
Front of church Guests arriving Attendants coming down the aisle Bride’s mother coming down the aisle Groom’s mother coming down the aisle Father giving away the bride Wedding party at the altar Exchange of vows The kiss Lighting the unity candle Bride and groom recessing Bride and groom leaving the church RECEPTION
BRIDE & GROOM Bride and groom Hands and rings WEDDING PARTY
LIGHTING AND LOCATION
CANDIDS
Bride with bridesmaids Bride with maid of honor Groom with groomsmen Groom with best man Entire wedding party Flower girl and ring bearer Bride and groom with flower girl and ring bearer
Bride and groom arriving at the reception Wedding cake and buffet tables Bride and groom’s first dance Bride dancing with her father Groom dancing with his mother Both sets of parents dancing Cutting the cake Bride and groom’s toast Best man’s toast Tossing the garter Tossing the bouquet The “getaway” car
BEFORE THE CEREMONY Bride arriving at church Bride getting ready Mother assisting bride Bride and attendants Bride and father Groom getting ready Groom with best man
Photos at left by Rebel Louise Photography
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PRE-CEREMONY PHOTOS
FIRST LOOK & WEDDING PORTRAITS
Another way to improve your prospects of great wedding photos is to take the majority of the photos before the ceremony. Though some brides want to save the “wow” moment for the aisle, there are numerous reasons why preceremony pictures work best.
oo A “first look” session is when the bride and groom meet for a few minutes before the ceremony for some alone time (with the photographer). Photographers love this opportunity for candid, emotional moments. For the couple, it provides a measure of privacy to share this special occasion and connect before the ceremony.
oo The bride will look her best when she is fresh and hair and makeup are also fresh. oo The relatives and bridal party will be contained and easily rounded up for the photos. oo Everyone will be free to go directly to the reception and begin celebrating.
oo First look can be a short session, but if the schedule allows, this is also a window for getting the wedding portraits posed and directed by the photographer. Allow up to an hour. Alternatively, wedding portraits of the couple can be taken after the ceremony when the pressure is off, but the session will need to be abbreviated if guests are waiting at the reception. Allow 20-30 minutes. ■
ALLOW TIME TO CAPTURE MOMENTS FOREVER 45 minutes 30 minutes 1 hour 30 minutes 30 minutes
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Getting ready, details photos Bride and groom dressed, final touches First look and bride and groom portraits Wedding Party photos Family portraits
Vibe and Variety Make It Memorable Entertainment options set the mood
Music has power. It can get us on our feet, send us off to sleep or instantly make us happy or sentimental. As a bride and groom consider their wedding “personality,” music can be definitive in setting the desired tone. A live band, a DJ or a symphonic combo are all options to consider using or even layering and combining, hiring more than one music provider for different portions of the wedding and reception. An ultimate music package might be a string quartet for dinner, a live band for the reception and a DJ for the transitions and lighting. In all cases, couples should personally preview the music professionals’ performance and ask for references. Considerations for which is the right option include budget, venue space, ambiance goals and availability.
Special music moments throughout your wedding day The Getting-Ready Play List – Have romantic, upbeat tunes as you get ready for your wedding.
The Reception – This is the music played as the guests head in to the reception.
The Pre-Ceremony – This is the music played at the ceremony location as the guests arrive.
The Couples’ Arrival – Played as the bride, groom and wedding party enter the reception.
The Pre-Processional – This is the music played right before the wedding party enters, alerting the guests that the wedding is about to begin.
The First Dance – This is the song you have chosen for your first dance as husband and wife.
The Processional – This is the music played as the wedding party processes down the aisle. The Bride’s Entrance – The bride walks down the aisle. The Ceremony – Any music you use during the ceremony. The Recessional – This is the joyous music played as the new couple returns down the aisle after the ceremony.
Father-Daughter Dance – This is your dance with your dad – often a heart-tugging emotional song that expresses your relationship with your father. Mother-Son Dance – This is a special selection for the groom and his mom. Last Dance – This is the music that sends you and your guests off in to the night. ■
The Interlude/Champagne Hour – This is the music played at the reception location as guests arrive.
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Dress Dreams DECIDING ON THE
OF YOUR
You’ve found the perfect groom, now it’s time to find the perfect gown. And just like in romance, you might have to try out a few losers before you get to the right one. The ideal wedding dress will complement you, set the tone for your wedding, and make you feel more beautiful than ever before. But starting the hunt for “the” gown can sometimes feel overwhelming. Here are some tips to set you on the right course to fall in love all over again, this time with the dress of your dreams.
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CONSIDER THE EVENT Before you begin looking at wedding gowns, think about the location of your event. A spacious church might be ideal for an elaborate ball gown, but the same dress would be too cumbersome for a beach ceremony. Similarly, a simple cocktail dress would be appropriate for an outdoor wedding, but would seem underwhelming in a grand ballroom. Also consider the time of day you plan to marry. A very beaded, dramatic gown would be more appropriate for an evening wedding, while a simple, demure lace dress would be a lovely choice for a daytime event. SET A BUDGET Before you begin shopping, decide how much of your overall wedding funds you wish to allocate to the dress. Wedding dresses can range greatly in price, from a modest sum to well into six figures. Research the typical price points of gowns in the bridal salons you are considering to determine which shops are most likely to carry a wide array in your budget. And don’t be shy. Tell your consultant your budget at the outset of your appointment so that she knows which brands are more likely to be suitable.
SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL STYLES FOR 2018 A sampling of the latest trends in gowns The search for your dream dress can be one of the most exciting parts of the wedding experience. After all, what little girl hasn’t dreamed of the beautiful gown she would one day wear? But it can also be overwhelming, amid the constantly changing fashions in bridal gown design. We’ve put together a list of all the season’s latest trends, hot off the runway and perfect for a trip down the aisle. From intricate sleeves to sumptuous skirts, this year’s gowns are all about the details. But don’t be fooled, those little touches make a big impact, and these gowns are sure to wow.
Lace Sleeves Allure Bridal
START EARLY If there’s one overarching rule in wedding planning, it’s this: Everything takes longer than you think it will. Ordering a wedding dress is no exception. Many bridal boutiques do not keep wedding gowns in every size on hand. Instead, they stock a range of gowns in one or two sample sizes for trying. After you choose your favorite, the consultant will advise you about which size and specifications to order. Wedding gown manufacturers often take up to six months to ship gowns to customers, particularly if you order any custom sizing or details. KEEP AN OPEN MIND It’s fun to look through magazines and websites to see what gowns catch your eye, and it’s good to have an idea about the practical details of what type of dress would be best for the occasion. However, try to go into salons with an experimental mindset. Let the consultants pull a few dresses that are outside your comfort zone and try them. People are often surprised to find that gowns they don’t notice on the rack look very different when they put them on. You might be shocked by the dress that ultimately makes you swoon.
Sheer Neckline
Jim Hjelm
Two-piece
Amsale Bridal
Blush and nude Lazaro
GO WITH YOUR GUT Some brides try on a single dress and know it’s the one. Some visit multiple salons over many months. When you’ve found the dress that makes your heart sing, don’t be afraid to pull the trigger. Some brides feel pressure to continue to search long after they’ve found the gown that feels best. If you find yourself coming back to one particular dress, even if it was the first one you tried on, go ahead and make the commitment. After all, that’s what a wedding is all about! ■
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Long-Sleeve Sheaths
Off the Shoulder Anne Barge
Justin Alexander
Dramatic Back Allure Bridal
Plunging Neckline
Capes
Pronovias
Casablanca
Cocktail Length
Casablanca
Modest Cuts
Maggie Sottero
GOWN SILHOUETTES
Empire
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Princess
Mermaid
Ball Gown
Sheath/Column
Basque Waist
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Crowning Glory Selecting a headpiece or veil After you’ve found the perfect gown, it’s time to think about accessorizing your bridal look, beginning with the most important accessory of all – the veil!
Whether long and regal or short and flirty, the veil is one of the most timehonored wedding traditions. Worn by brides beginning in ancient times, the veil was initially thought to protect the wearer from evil spirits. Few brides of today don a veil with that goal in mind, but most love the symbolism and history it evokes. And nothing says “bride” like a head-covering of gossamer tulle or delicate lace. If you haven’t given much thought to veils before, fear not. We have a quick primer to get you up to speed on what you need to know about bridal veil style.
VEIL LENGTHS oo Bird Cage – about 4-9 inches long, the bird cage veil can fall anywhere from just beneath the eyes to below the chin. Recalling a mid-twentieth century style, bird cage veils are often made from an open netting and paired with a formfitting or short dress.
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oo Elbow length – about 32 inches long, the elbow-length veil is extremely versatile. Whether plain tulle or edged in beading or lace, the elbow length veil complements a variety of gown silhouettes and styles. oo Fingertip length – about 40 inches long, the fingertip veil is similarly versatile to the elbow-length, but falls further to your fingertips. This length is ideal for brides who want to showcase the backs of their gowns without the bottom of the veil competing for attention. oo Chapel length – about 90 inches long, the chapel length veil falls to the floor behind the bride, fanning out to lie over the train. Traditional and graceful, the chapel length train complements most long gowns, and can add the illusion of a train for a dress without one. oo Cathedral length – about 110 inches or longer, the cathedral length veil extends beyond the train of
most wedding dresses. Formal and dramatic, the chapel length veil is ideal for very traditional dresses, cathedral weddings or any bride who wants to make a grand entrance.
ADD A HEADPIECE Many brides choose a separate headpiece to accentuate the veil and to wear at the reception when the veil is removed. Traditional styles include: oo Tiaras, which are worn directly in front of the veil. oo Ornate comb or clip, which can be clipped underneath the veil. oo Flowers, which can be positioned at the base of the veil. oo To choose a headpiece, consider the other jewelry you will wear, as well as any beading or stones on the gown. Ideally, the headpiece will pick up accents of the same metal and stone colors to create a seamless look.
HOW TO SHOP FOR A VEIL oo Start early. As with wedding gowns, ordering a custom veil may take a few months. oo Decide on your hairstyle first. The position of the veil as well as the headpiece may depend on the style you plan to wear. Ask your hairstylist for suggestions. oo Consider your venue. A cathedral veil would be a disaster on a windy day or sandy beach, but utterly divine in a formal church wedding. oo Set a budget. Though a veil can be as simple as a small piece of tulle on a comb, prices can range quite a bit. Be clear from the outset how much you want to spend. oo Try different styles. A bridal consultant will have good ideas about what veils complement certain dresses. Don’t be afraid to try on several lengths and designs, even if they initially seem outside your comfort zone. â–
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Bride & Bridesmaid Attire Bridal Shop
Consultant
Address
Refund Policy
Phone
GOWN
VEIL/HEADPIECE
Designer/Manufacturer
Designer/Manufacturer
Style
Style
Color
Color
Fabric
Length
Date ordered
Date ordered
Fitting Date
Pickup Date
Pickup Date
Total Cost
Total Cost
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Deposit Shoes Necklace Earrings Slip Hosiery Bra/Bustier Garter
FLOWER GIRL Name Style Dress Size
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Date of fitting
Cost
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BRIDESMAIDS Name
Name
Style
Style
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Stunning Looks for Hair Styles There is the occasional good-hair day, and then there is the most important hair day of your life: your wedding day.
When it is time to choose a hairstyle for your special day, you want to think about the overall theme of your wedding. Is it elegant, rustic, modern or vintage? And how will your hairstyle fit into your overall wedding vision? Most importantly, you want your hair to look good from the moment you walk down the aisle to the last notes of your final dance that evening. Your personal style, likes/dislikes and what complements your gown are all important factors in choosing the right hairstyle for your wedding day. In 2018, the natural bridal look is on trend. Soft curls and romantic braids are popular choices for a lovely and graceful look.
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Braids — Elegant, feminine and timeless, braids have many variations and work for all hair types.
a nice complement to your dress. It is a sleek and sophisticated hairstyle which results in an effortlessly gorgeous look.
Curls — Soft and effortless, curls flow from the top to bottom like a soothing waterfall.
Topknot — Chic and simple on any day, but also wedding-worthy. To make this iconic look work for your wedding day, make sure your knot is sleek rather than messy.
Updos — A simple updo complements an elaborate dress, and can be styled in a bun, twist or chignon. This tried-andtrue style is always a winner. Up/down —Hair half up and half down is a popular choice. It can be simple, or accessorized with pins or other bling. Good for straight or curly hair, and attractive for different face shapes. Ponytail — The ponytail may seem simple, but as wedding gowns become more elaborate, a traditional ponytail is
Side styles — this could be a ponytail, and may or may not include a part. This is also a perfect canvas if you are going with curls or waves in your hair. Lace hair pieces — Pins, barrettes, headbands or other pieces with a touch of lace are always classic and beautiful. Loose — No accessories required. A simple and natural look. ■
Say “I do” to 2018’s Bridal Makeup Trends Bold lips, sparkles and multicolored eyeshadow When it comes to a wedding, makeup can be a big decision. Do you go with what you’re comfortable with or what’s new and trendy? If you rarely try something new, now is not the time to start. While all-out makeup may look stunning and trendy, how you feel often radiates from within. If you aren’t comfortable with lots of makeup, it will show. The good news? This year nudes and natural makeup are as trendy as other, more glam options. If you do want to try a different look, practice ahead of time, take lots of selfies and make sure you like a look before you say “I do.” This year’s bridal makeup trends include: Nude and natural: Think simple applications of mascara; nude, shimmery shadows; and peach lips. Also popular: matching muted makeup with one or two statement accents from the list below. Shimmers and sparkles: Think gold or silver eyeshadow, shimmery cheek bones and sparkle everything. This year’s sparkles take two themes: metallic or big chunky sparkles, almost like sequins. And while you may be tempted to keep these trends to the eyes, a little shimmer and sparkle on the cheeks is popular as well. Golden glow: From blush to shadows, this warm hue has taken over the bridal makeup world in 2018. Want to tap into the trend? Add a dusting of gold blush along your cheekbone.
Rainbows: The rainbow/ unicorn theme is showing up in bridal trends for 2018. For makeup, this trend is mostly limited to the eyes: think multicolored eyeshadow, like ombré, but with primary colors. (Want to tap into this trend but not go totally crazy? Add a little pop of color or colors, like a thin layer of a pink eyeshadow fading into a thin layer of an orange eyeshadow.) Bold lips: Particularly in ruby red or darker, blackberry-ish reds. Think sexy, bright lips coupled with an otherwise natural, minimal look, so the lips become the main statement of the face. Cat eye: Was it ever out of style? If it’s your go-to style on a normal day, no need to switch it up for the wedding day. This classic is always in, at least in our eyes.
Borderless lips: Lip liner is out, making one less cosmetic to worry about for your big day.
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Suit Up! Sophisticated style for your groom
With so much focus on the bride and bridesmaid’s gowns, the men in the wedding party might feel overlooked. But dapper tuxes and well-tailored suits can do just as much to elevate the overall aesthetic of a wedding as the women’s apparel. And let’s face it: Anyone who’s seen photos of their dad in a powder-blue tuxedo and cummerbund knows it can just as easily go very, very wrong. Luckily, grooms have more options today than ever before to put their unique personality on sartorial display, while still remaining classically tasteful and quintessentially stylish. Here are a few tips to help you choose the wedding attire that’s right for him.
TUX OR SUIT? Most formal: Tuxedo The most luxe evening affairs call for nothing less than a full tuxedo. Always black, and typically paired with a cummerbund or vest, the classic tux cuts a dashing figure that never goes out of style. The bowtie is the most traditional accoutrement, but recently some men have taken to accenting them with a long solid satin tie. Don’t forget the black patent leather shoes! Less formal: Dark Suit A dark suit is the most versatile wedding attire, as it is appropriate for both daytime and all but the most formal evening weddings. Typically black, navy or gray, suit selections come in many different styles and cuts. Dress it up with a solid tie, or mix in a little bit of preppy fun by choosing a brightly patterned bow tie and pocket square. Least formal: Light or Seersucker Suit Light suits are perfect for daytime and warm weather weddings, especially those held outside. Though these types of suits are more relaxed, they don’t have to sacrifice in the style department. Choose a brightly colored tie or even go with an open collar for a cool and casual vibe.
GET THE FIT
Nothing ruins the look of a nice suit like an ill fit. Follow these rules to make sure your suit looks tailor-made for your groom. oo Shoulder pads should not extend past your shoulders. oo Suit jacket should button comfortably without gaping. oo Bottom of the jacket should be even with knuckles with arms at sides. oo Jacket sleeves should hit right where wrist meets hand. oo A sliver of shirt cuff should be visible under the jacket sleeve. oo There should be 1 inch of break in the pants hem. ■ Photo by Rebel Louise Photography
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Groom & Groomsmen Attire Shop
Consultant
Address
Refund Policy
Phone
GROOM
BRIDE'S FATHER
Name
Deposit
Name
Deposit
Neck
Sleeve
Neck
Sleeve
Waist
Length
Waist
Length
Shoe
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Shoe
Cost
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Date of Fitting
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Name
Deposit
Shoe
Cost
Neck
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Length
RING BEARER
GROOMSMEN Name
Deposit
Name
Deposit
Neck
Sleeve
Neck
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Length
Waist
Length
Shoe
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Name
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Neck
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Length
Waist
Length
Shoe
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Pickup Wedding Planner | 41
The Groom’s Calendar 10-12 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING
3 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING
oo Pick out the engagement ring (if you haven’t already done so.)
oo Send size cards to any out-of-town members of the wedding party.
oo Announce your engagement.
oo Complete the guest list.
oo Discuss wedding plans and budget with fiancée and all parents.
oo Choose and order wedding rings.
oo Select your best man, groomsmen, ushers (one usher per 40 guests).
oo Plan rehearsal dinner with parents.
oo Help plan the engagement party. oo Discuss ceremony and reception sites with your fiancée.
8-9 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING oo Meet with officiant (minister, priest, rabbi, etc.) to discuss the ceremony.
oo Choose and order groomsmen gifts. oo Choose gifts for your bride and wedding party. oo Update passports for honeymoons abroad.
oo Make sure all men have been measured for tuxedos. 1 MONTH BEFORE THE WEDDING oo Get your marriage license. oo Make appointments for personal grooming.
oo Start compiling your guest list. oo Begin making your honeymoon travel plans.
WEEKS BEFORE THE WEDDING oo 2 WEEKS2BEFORE oo Attend bachelor party.
6 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING oo Visit gift registry with fiancée. oo Arrange for transportation for the wedding party to ceremony and reception. oo Complete your honeymoon plans. oo Pick your tuxedos and accessories. Have a list of attendants including best man, groomsmen, junior groomsmen, ring bearer, fathers, grandfathers, ushers (one per 40 guests), and a list of any other attendants.
oo Adjust insurance policies, bank accounts, utilities, etc. oo THE WEEK OFWEEK OF THE WEDDING THE oo Pick up your tuxedo and try it on in the store to ensure a proper fit. Arrange for someone to return your tuxedo if you are leaving on a honeymoon. oo Pack for the honeymoon. oo Get cash for gratuities and officiant’s fee. oo Take a deep breath… you’re almost there. oo Enjoy your rehearsal and dinner. oo THE BIG DAY: oo Double-check all details: wedding rings, transportation, marriage license. oo Get to the ceremony on time. oo Relax and enjoy your wedding!
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g
Wedding Day Packing List The big day is finally here! You don’t want to be stuck away from home without a necessary item. Take this checklist with you to be sure you have everything you need on hand for a calm, stress-free event.
For the Bride
For the Groom
0 Loungewear for pre-wedding makeup and hair appointments 0 Gown 0 Veil/headpiece 0 Jewelry 0 Shoes 0 Undergarments 0 Makeup 0 Toothbrush and toothpaste 0 Deodorant and perfume 0 Garter 0 Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue 0 Handbag with necessities, such as lipstick, powder, tissue and mints 0 Departure outfit, if changing 0 Wedding band(s) 0 List of contact information for the officiant, florist, photographer, band leader and caterer 0 Gift for the groom
0 Suit or tuxedo 0 Tie 0 Shoes and socks 0 Cufflinks, watch or other jewelry 0 Departure outfit, if changing 0 Wedding band(s) 0 Car keys, if you will be driving from the ceremony or reception 0 Envelopes of tips for vendors 0 Gift for the bride 0 Marriage License
B
Emergency Kit
A little preparation goes a long way, but when it comes to a wedding, it’s better to have a lot of preparation. Here’s a list of must-have items to ensure that whatever mishaps come your way, you’ll be ready for them. 0 Safety pins 0 Needle and thread 0 Scissors 0 Spot stain remover 0 Dryer sheets (for static cling) 0 Wet wipes (work great on most wedding gown fabrics) 0 Fashion tape 0 Super glue 0 Portable steamer 0 Tweezers 0 Q-tips 0 Aspirin 0 Band-Aids 0 Dental floss 0 Sunblock (for an outdoor wedding)
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Choosing Invitations The wedding invitations you select will be the first impression your guests have of your big day. These personalized notes should reflect the tone of the wedding, as well as provide vital information about the ceremony and reception. It’s also important to include any special requests or requirements for those planning to attend the event. Before ordering the invitations, it is important to already know your wedding colors or theme, and have an idea of what type of event you plan to host. It’s also wise to stop by the post office to weigh a sample invitation before placing a final order. This will help you to better estimate postage costs. Once you are ready to order the invitations, be sure you check the invitation for accuracy. Ask more than one person to look over it with you to make sure there are no errors. ■
OPTION ONE Invitation Shop Contact Address Phone Price Date Ordered Arrival Date Style Ink Color Paper Color Quantity Price
OPTION TWO Invitation Shop Contact Address Phone Price Date Ordered Arrival Date Style Ink Color Paper Color Quantity Price 44 | Wedding Planner
Blooms PICKING BEAUTIFUL
Choosing your flowers is one of the most exciting parts of the wedding. They add beauty, color and style in the form of bouquets, arches or table arrangements. Flowers are an important part of wedding planning, and you should dedicate about 10 percent of your budget to flowers. However, it is not as simple as walking into a flower shop and picking your favorite flowers in your wedding colors. When you work with a florist, follow these steps so you are able to get the flowers you want to fulfill your vision. 1. Do your homework —Decide what you like and what it’s called before meeting with your florist. This eliminates a lot of guesswork. 2. Remember your venue — Your wedding location will greatly influence your flower choices. For example, if you are getting married in a park or vineyard, you will need minimal flower arrangements. Trust your florist to know what sizes will work best in a church, outdoors or on the table as a centerpiece. 3. Talk to other couples — Friends who have already gone through the process are valuable sources of information. Ask for recommendations and set up appointments with multiple florists to view a portfolio of their work. Start six to eight months before the wedding, because good florists book up quickly. 4. Show and tell — Images speak louder than words. Bring your inspiration boards, a color swatch from your dress or photos of the venue. This gives your florist an idea of the look you want to achieve. They may not be able to duplicate something exactly, but they will create one-of-a-kind arrangements for your wedding. Be open to changes or substitutions, especially when it comes to flower choices. 5. One flower, many colors — Some flowers, like roses, come in a variety of colors. If you are specifically thinking of pink roses, communicate this to your florist. 6. Size matters — If you are petite, don’t let your flowers overwhelm you. Also, do not choose fragrant flowers, or you may sneeze your way down the aisle. ■
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F
Express your theme in flowers
lower trends are constantly changing. For 2018, brides are moving away from vintage and rustic, and toward a more sophisticated style with a rich color palette.
without breaking the bank. This is an up and coming trend that incorporates glam into your wedding. For example, style your bridal bouquet with long and luxurious ribbons made of colorful velvet or silk.
Seasonal blooms
Burgundy theme color
More brides are choosing seasonal flowers for their bouquets. When you are deciding on a wedding date, consider what flowers are in bloom during that time. Using what is in season also creates a wild and organic look, and usually is easier on the budget.
Luxe touches If you like luxury, but have a modest budget, adding luxe touches to your bouquet is an easy way to show your style
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In 2018, deep burgundies are on trend. This is inspired by a spike in vineyard weddings. Wine is the new wedding color, and you have many options if you desire to incorporate these delicate and deep shades into your overall theme.
Floral arches If you want to showcase flowers in ways other than your bridal bouquet, consider a floral arch. Ceremony arches have been a favorite
Floral Artistry for years, but now brides are using them as an opportunity to incorporate bold, beautiful and colorful flowers. You can let your creative mind go wild as you create a unique backdrop for your outdoor wedding. Adorn the arch with a bounty of lovely blooms and foliage. Make a memorable, one-of-a-kind piece which will wow your guests.
Blooming cakes Flowers on a cake is classic, but this season, brides are choosing flamboyant flowers which come in all shapes and sizes to put on their wedding cake. Cascading florals are beautiful and timeless, and look great on everything from rustic naked cakes to a simple cake with buttercream frosting.
Greens, vines and succulents
When talking about flowers, greenery is often overlooked. But not this year! Greenery is making a comeback. Vivid shades of green complement natural outdoor settings, and personify the joy of spring and summer. Whether you use it in boutonnieres, table arrangements or bouquets, greenery adds a touch of freshness.
Hairpieces Floral bridal accessories are a hot trend in 2018. These elegant headpieces will feature a handful of carefully selected flowers and greenery, and are a sophisticated accessory. â–
The Floral Plan Florist Address
Consultant
Phone
Refund Policy
CEREMONY Altar
Aisle or pew
Main entrance
Description
Description
Description
Deliver to
Delivery time
Price quote
Date ordered
Deposit
Payment due
WEDDING PARTY Bride's bouquet
Flower girl
Corsages
Description
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Description
Bridesmaids
Boutonnières
Other
Description
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RECEPTION Entry
Cake table
Table centerpieces
Description
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Payment due Wedding Planner | 47
the
Little Things
Small touches and sweet traditions customize a wedding ceremony
The wedding ceremony is the culmination of all your planning, and the reason for the party afterward. It’s the focal point of the event and the beginning of your new life as a married couple. Because the ceremony is so important, it makes sense to put some thought into how to make it as meaningful and unique as possible. In the past, most couples have followed the traditional route and chosen music and readings that were suggested by their officiants. Today, brides and grooms are more passionate about tailoring each aspect of the wedding to their personal taste. Walk down the aisle to the first song you danced to, or have a friend sing
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the piece that was performed at your parents’ wedding. Hire live musicians or feel free to play recorded popular music. Anything that is meaningful to you will be the perfect choice. Similarly, don’t feel constrained by the traditional readings. If there is a poem or passage from a book that speaks to you, ask the officiant if you can opt to have that read during a key moment in the ceremony. Though personalized services are on the rise, not all religions or houses of worship will allow modifications to the ceremony rites or secular music. Be sure to clear all your desired touches with the officiant before committing to a location. ■
ORDER OF EVENTS The typical wedding ceremony follows this order: Seating of family Groom and groomsmen take their places Brides’ attendants procession Bridal procession Opening remarks Charge to couple Exchange of vows Exchange of rings Unity ceremony Closing remarks Kiss Presentation of the couple Recessional
GUEST PARTICIPATION This ritual is a sweet way to tie in all the families, friends and well-wishers of the couple as they embark on their new marriage. When guests enter the ceremony, ask them to take a stone from a jar and hold it in their hands as the wedding is performed, mentally pouring their hopes and prayers for the couple into the token. Once the ceremony is over, the guests put the rocks back into the jar, and you will have a visible keepsake to remind you how many people are rooting for your marriage to succeed. Another option is to have your ring bearer give the rings to a seated guest, and ask attendees to pass the rings down the row during the ceremony, whispering a few words of blessing before passing it on.
Photo by Rebel Louise Photography
CONNECT TO YOUR ROOTS Some couples want to honor the parents, grandparents and other family members who came before them on this journey to matrimony. Including a keepsake like lace from your mother’s dress in your bouquet, or wearing your father’s cufflinks is a great way to feel their presence as you make your vows. You can also evoke the memory of family by using the same flowers in your ceremony location or choosing the same piece of music. Another popular idea is to display photos of previous family weddings as part of your décor.
TELL YOUR STORY A wedding is the culmination of a love story, so don’t be shy about telling yours. Incorporate touches of personality into the ceremony, such as having a personalized aisle runner detailing key dates in your relationship. You can also use your wedding program to add a personal note or tell a story to your guests. Even the décor and flowers can contain elements of design that make the wedding more personal. For instance, wine connoisseurs might use empty bottles of their favorite wine as containers, or travel-lovers might include the names of past destinations or even airplane ticket stubs. Remember, this wedding is for you and your spouse, so be sure to include only things that make you happy. photos courtesy of Le Mera Gardens
Photo by Rebel Louise Photography
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Say Your Heart WHAT’S
IN
How to write personalized vows
Writing your own vows is a unique and meaningful way to personalize your wedding day. You have the opportunity to share your love story, give people a peek into your relationship and tell the person you love what is truly in your heart. However, it could also be a daunting task. Not only is writing and reciting your own vows extremely intimate, you will be doing so in front of friends and family. If you are struggling to find the right words, here are a few tips that will get you started. MAKE A LIST Write down all the things you love about your fiancé, what you are looking forward to in the future, and promises you wish to make to him. Put the list aside and revisit it in a couple of days. Highlight your favorite parts and use that as a starting place for your vows. WRITE SEVERAL DRAFTS Not even professional writers get it right the first time. Write a draft and walk away. Return, reread and make changes. Do this one or two more times as needed, but stop after a third time. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Simply write from the heart. DON’T PROCRASTINATE Ideally, you want your vows written three to four weeks before the wedding. You will have plenty of last minute details to handle, and you don’t want to stress over your vows. Additionally, you can practice reciting them at home if you are nervous speaking in front of people. SAY “I LOVE YOU” Those three little words mean so much, and sometimes they are accidentally left out of vows. It is always nice to say “I love you,” especially in your wedding vows. USE BOOKS, MOVIES AND SONGS FOR INSPIRATION If you have a favorite line from a movie or poem, use that as a starting place. Children’s books are also good inspiration, because they communicate complex emotions in simple sentences. USE A TEMPLATE If you hit a roadblock, use a set of standard vows for inspiration. Modify them with your own feelings and experiences. You can even peruse wedding vows from other faiths or parts of the world. ■
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NOTES
Romantic Rituals New ways to channel your love into the wedding ceremony The ceremony is the most important part of your wedding day, so don’t settle for a one-size-fits-all approach. More and more couples are adding unique rituals into their ceremonies that incorporate their lives and personalities into the nuptials. While the unity candle and sand-mixing ceremony are the most common rites carried out to symbolize the union of two people, many couples are thinking outside the box to come up with new ways to make the wedding ceremony meaningful to them.
TIE THE KNOT One growing trend in wedding ceremonies is to incorporate a knot-tying ritual. The bride and groom each begin with a piece of rope, and together work to fashion them into a fisherman’s knot, which is known to be the strongest knot. In fact, the rope will break before the knot gives way, making it a meaningful metaphor for the budding union it represents. The knot can then be framed and displayed in your home as a reminder of the wedding day. The fisherman’s knot requires a little know-how to execute, so be sure to practice before the big day.
PLANT A TREE
BUILD A BOX
WASH FEET
For couples seeking a tangible way to incorporate their pasts into their future together, planting a sapling is a great way to do that. Both bride and groom bring soil from their childhood homes and mix it together in a container. They then plant a tree. Another twist on this ritual is to ask guests to bring a sample from their homes, and mix all the soil together to represent the community that stands behind the marriage and vows to help it grow like the tree.
Most couples are filled with love and fondness for one another on their wedding day, but everyone knows there will be some moments that try the new marriage. In anticipation of this, some people build a “first fight box” at their ceremony. Bride and groom write love notes to one another on the day of their wedding and place them in a wooden box, along with a bottle of wine. At the wedding, the couple nails the box shut, to be opened on the first day that challenges the new marriage, as a reminder of the love they felt at the moment of their union.
Especially popular in Christian ceremonies, the ritual of washing feet has become a recent trend in weddings. Based on the biblical passage of Jesus kneeling to wash his followers’ feet, the foot-washing ceremony is a tender way to symbolize the promise to serve one another. If you want to incorporate this ritual into your ceremony, be sure to have a chair, basin and pitcher of water on hand, and wear shoes that are easy to slip off and on. ■
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Interfaith Weddings
Marrying traditions and religious faiths Interfaith and cross-cultural marriages are on the rise by 25 to 40 percent in the last generation, depending on which research study you consult. If the bride and groom come from different faith traditions, it is important to sit down early and talk candidly about the role religion will play in the wedding ceremony, and what will be important for the two families. If you decide you would like to incorporate both faiths, there are several considerations for planning a ceremony.
each religious tradition, two ceremonies can be an option. The ceremonies can be held on different days or the same day. One may be short and sweet, and one can have all the trimmings—or go all-out for both. Obviously, two ceremonies will mean double the planning and a bigger budget, but may be the best solution for couples (and families) who feel deeply about the ceremony rites of their separate religions.
Selecting a ceremony location
Wedding ceremonies in most faith traditions have unique elements that make them special, from what the bride and groom wear to how the families are included. Working with your officiant, create a wedding program that includes explanations of the specific religious customs performed and a translation if a foreign language is used. This way, family and friends can understand, appreciate and participate in unfamiliar traditions. Be sure to offer to include both sides of the family in rituals.
Some faiths or officiants may have rules about whether a mixed-religion marriage will be sanctioned, and whether involving elements of a different religion in the ceremony will be allowed. Some religions require premarital counseling or classes. If you are considering a religious house of worship for the ceremony, plan a meeting with the officiant to see whether it is a good fit. Alternatively, choose a neutral site for the ceremony, such as a hotel ballroom, country club, park or other venue.
Choosing an officiant Choose an officiant (or two) who makes both of you feel comfortable and who believes in your union. Couples can opt for a civil ceremony officiated by a justice of the peace.
Holding two ceremonies If the bridal couple or their families want to fully embrace
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Blending traditions in one ceremony
Honoring both cultures at the reception If a couple determines that the important aspects of their separate wedding traditions are cultural rather than religious, a neutral ceremony can be followed by a reception that honors both family histories. Culture can be represented in attire, food, dĂŠcor, favors, music and dance. The bride may wear a sari while dancing the hora, or a mariachi band may play while the couple jumps the broom. â–
THE BEST DOG and
THE MUTT OF HONOR Will your bridal party include your fur-babies?
For couples whose pets are important parts of their lives, there’s no reason not to include the furry family members in their weddings. Here are some ideas and tips to make a pet-filled wedding ceremony the cat’s meow. oo Include your pet (or pets) in some of the engagement photos. Let your friends and family know from the start that your fur baby will be part of the festivities. oo Let other members of the potential bridal party know that you plan to have your pet in the wedding. Some people might have allergy issues. oo Designate a handler for your pet when you aren’t handling him or her. oo Check with the wedding venue to make sure your pet will be allowed in the building during the service. Once that is approved, figure out the role you want your pet to play. Best dog, bride’s mutt, ring bearer, flower feline – they’re all good choices. Plan what they will wear for the big day, but don’t make the outfits too hot, constricting or distracting. Do several dress rehearsals to make sure your pets are happy and willing to perform the duties bestowed upon them. If your pets won’t cooperate with your plans, don’t force them. oo Book grooming appointments as soon as possible. oo Find a photographer who likes animals and won’t mind working with your pet to get perfect shots.
oo Take your pets home or to a quiet, safe place rather than taking them to your reception. The wedding ceremony will probably be calm and orchestrated, but the reception might get a bit too wild for your dogs, cats or other animal pets. Lots of strangers, possibly drinking lots of adult beverages, loud music and an abundance of food can be overwhelming to your fur babies. oo If you don’t want your pets to actually attend the wedding, they can still be a big part of the event by including photos of them on invitations and save-the-date notices. You can also include them in slide shows or videos at the reception. oo You want to be married atop your trusty steeds? Well, that’s definitely an outdoor venue! Remember that even the gentlest horses will spook if something startles them. If you’re still up for the challenge, perform several dress rehearsals to make sure your horses won’t shy from the decorations or the fancy outfits you might wear. Keep the guests at a safe distance in case something does happen. If you don’t want to take the chance of being dumped in your wedding dress or tuxedo, it might be best to stay on the ground and have a handler hold your horses nearby during the ceremony. ■
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At the Altar Again Planning your second wedding If you are blessed to find love a second time, then you should celebrate! You may be confident that you know the ins and outs of wedding planning, but there are different scenarios you will encounter with a second wedding.
PAYING YOUR OWN WAY Most couples getting married again cover the cost of the wedding themselves. However, you may have relatives who want to chip in for some of the cost, which is fine to accept.
YOURS, MINE AND OURS If either or both of you have children, they should be the first to hear your engagement news. Depending on their ages, you can involve your children in the planning, from music selection to creating centerpieces. Younger children can serve as flower girls or ring bearers. Older children can read a special passage or message during the ceremony, or be a member of the bridal party. Other popular trends which involve the entire family are lighting a unity candle, or the step-parent sharing vows with the new stepchildren about being a family. (While you are announcing the good news, you should also tell your ex-spouse, whether it is by phone, email or in a letter.)
REGISTER DIFFERENTLY You and your fiancé may have all the home items you want, which negates the need to register for fine china, crystal or silver. Or, you may be looking to fill a few gaps with items you still need. Either way, it is acceptable for remarrying couples to register for gifts. You could also consider alternative registries for wine, books or something you both enjoy, or have the money go toward a local nonprofit.
BRIDAL GOWNS IN ALL COLORS Wear whatever dress you want! The style of the dress should reflect the tone of the wedding. You could have a long gown or a short, flirty cocktail dress. And yes, wearing white is acceptable. VEIL OR NO VEIL? Unlike the wedding dress, a veil still symbolizes purity, so it is generally only appropriate for firsttime brides to don a veil for the wedding. But there are many other headpiece options to let your personal style shine through. If you do want a veil, avoid blusher veils (the type that covers your face) — and look for a fancy tiara or weave flowers into your hair.
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A SECOND BRIDAL SHOWER Similar to registering for gifts, you may not need all the items which are typically given as presents to first-time brides. But there aren’t any rules that say you can’t have a party or get-together with your closest female family and friends. ■
PRACTICAL MATTERS oo To obtain your marriage license, you will need your divorce decree. If you are widowed, then you must provide your previous spouse’s death certificate. oo If there is money or property involved, especially if there are things you wish to pass onto your children, it may be beneficial to set up a prenuptial agreement with an attorney.
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Reception Creativity Small details add up to big style
When it comes to planning your wedding reception, the sky is the limit. From small and homespun to large and lavish, your reception party is the ultimate expression of you as a couple. With careful planning and an eye to the unexpected, you can create a wedding reception that will delight your guests and ensure fond memories for a lifetime. Here are 15 ideas sure to make your wedding reception is unforgettable. 1. Give guests a warm welcome Show guests just how much they mean to you by writing a brief, personal note welcoming them to your reception. Place the note on top of their place setting at the table and they will instantly feel at home. 2. Make a big entrance Think of a fun way to join the reception when the DJ or bandleader announces
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you for the first time as husband and wife, such as a theme song or choreographed dance routine with your wedding party. When your guests see how much fun you are having on the dance floor, it won’t be long before they join you to get the party started. 3. Say “Cheese!” Everyone loves a photo booth, especially one including silly props and costumes. Consider upgrading to a video booth, where guests can record personal messages for you. Another option is to provide Polaroid cameras for the guests to snap photos and leave them in a designated location for you to enjoy later. 4. Think outside of the cake box Love doughnuts? Cupcakes? Chocolate chip cookies? There’s no reason that you have to stick to the traditional wedding cake. Alternate dessert tables are all
the rage as couples seek to make their reception more personalized to their own taste buds. 5. Modernize the guest book Guest books are nice, but not very useful after the wedding is over. Why not choose something with staying power, like an art print or serving plate that can be displayed and enjoyed for years to come? Or have your guests sign a map, placing their name near their hometowns, for a visual reminder of how far people have come to support you. 6. Hire a food truck Food trucks are a fun, trendy way to inject flavor into your reception at a relatively lower cost than hiring a traditional caterer and waiters. 7. Play games Encourage guests to mingle by creating
games for them to play during cocktail hour. You might have a scavenger hunt list asking guests to find someone who fits a particular description, or give guests a puzzle piece and encourage them to find the person with its mate. 8. Designer drink Choose a cocktail that you and your fiancÊ enjoy, give it a special name, and serve it as a signature drink during cocktail hour. 9. Remember the children If you expect to have children at your reception, it’s a thoughtful and smart idea to organize some entertainment for them. Coloring books, crayons, candy and special child-friendly menu items are good ideas to keep your youngest guests happy and occupied. Continued on page 58
Photo by Rebel Louise Photography
Photo by Rebel Louise Photography
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10. Memorable music Even if you opt for a DJ for most of the reception, nothing makes an impact like live musicians. Consider hiring a jazz trio or single guitar player to serenade guests during cocktail hour.
14. Leave in style Forget the birdseed. Make a splash on your dash to the getaway car as guests shower you in confetti, release butterflies, hold sparklers or ring bells.
11. Fanciful favors Consider giving guests favors that will come in handy during your event, like flip-flops to replace high heels when the dancing starts, fans to cool off guests on a summer day, or matchboxes to light sparklers for the bride and groom’s exit.
15. Have a hashtag Post visible signs in various gathering areas highlighting your wedding hashtag so that you can enjoy all the posts your guests make on social media in the days to come. ■
12. Bathroom basics You’ve gone to great lengths to make sure that every detail of the reception is perfect, so don’t forget the facilities. Set out a basket of perfume, lotion, breath mints and other niceties for guests to help themselves to when they take a break from the dance floor. 13. Midnight snack After a long night of dancing, your guests will be famished as the party comes to a close. Serve a delicious midnight snack, such as milk and cookies, for them to munch on as they prepare to see you off.
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A Natural Approach to Nuptials Alternatives for hosting an eco-friendly wedding There are many ways to go green, from recycling to limiting carbon footprint and power usage. Here are some easy alternatives for couples who wish to incorporate environmental responsibility into their wedding choices.
INVITATIONS AND OTHER PAPER PRODUCTS Go as paperless as possible. Create a website for the wedding with all the details, including directions to the ceremony and reception, hotel options and more. Use the website and email to send “save the date” announcements or other updates. If you decide to send paper invitations, there are many alternatives made with recycled paper or sustainable materials. Some vendors also use vegetable-based inks. BOUQUETS AND CENTERPIECES With cut flowers, think local, organic and in-season. Southern Oregon has several growers who forego pesticides and are supported by local florists. Choose flowers that naturally grow at the time of year of your wedding for the best options. If a local grower doesn’t have what you want, ask your florist for VeriFlora-Certified Sustainably Grown choices. For centerpieces or arrangements, consider potted plants or topiaries that can be kept, planted or given as gifts. Examples include orchids, succulents, herbs and dwarf evergreens. DRESSING VINTAGE For the bridal dress, makeover a relative’s dress or find one at vintage retailer. If you want a new dress, seek out sustainable fabrics, such as organic cotton, silk or hemp. There are designers and retailers who cater to brides looking for ecoalternatives, such as Celia Grace and H&M’s Conscious Collection.
RECEPTION Discuss the selections for organic foods and drinks when interviewing caterers. Have the caterer provide or rent real glasses and dishware and use cloth napkins to avoid disposable plastic and paper products. Order kegs and casks as opposed to individual bottles of beer or wine. Provide recycling, composting and waste bins. Investigate having leftover food packaged and picked up or delivered to a nonprofit that serves meals to those in need. FAVORS AND GIFTS If you want to send guests home with a token or gift, consider edible or useful options. For example, seed packets of your favorite wildflowers, a tree sapling, organic jam in glass jars, natural soaps or sustainable lavender sachets. SMART SEND-OFFS For an urban wedding, birdseed is a fun alternative to rice, but because some of the seeds may be invasive plants not native to the area, there are better choices. Instead, throw wildflower seeds or petals, ring hand bells or blow homemade bubbles from recyclable containers. ■
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Photo by Rebel Louise Photography
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Gorgeous Delicious OUTSIDE,
INSIDE
Choosing the cake for your style
Your wedding is a memorable day filled with love, joy, happiness and, of course, cake! Whether you choose chocolate, vanilla, hazelnut or red velvet, you want your cake to look as good as it tastes. People often overlook cakes as potential statement pieces, but a cake can reflect your style and personality in the same way as flowers. There are exciting and unique cake trends for 2018. Which style is best for your wedding?
Drip cakes — A good choice for the indecisive bride. Sweeten your cake with a flavor for the inside and the outside, and have a delicious drizzle over the top of your tiers. Drip cakes are beautiful when adorned with fresh fruits and berries. The natural drip design is also striking to look at, and your guests will be amazed by the delicate process. Marble cakes — Elegant and modern, these cakes are truly breathtaking! The swirled marble pattern gives your wedding cake a sleek effect which looks like stone, and the end result is absolutely stunning. Interior design trends have impacted many parts of wedding planning, and now has made an entrance into the world of cake.
Hand-painted cakes — A unique cake which infuses handmade elements into your wedding. Take inspiration from your favorite painting, and use your cake as a canvas. 3-D textured cakes — The ultimate creative and modern confection. These cakes are works of art. A special cake topper will also complement the unique textured design of your cake. Nearly naked cakes — Naked cakes are not a new trend, but this version meets in the middle between a fully-iced cake and a bare one. Continued on page 62
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Geometric cakes — Geometry is a beloved design theme for weddings, so it is not surprising it has found its way to cake. Clean, geometrical lines contrast well with the round tiers of a wedding cake. Color-blocked cakes — These designs are bold. If you love to make a statement, this is a good cake option for you. A simple combination of colors is usually brought together with a few lines of black, and looks reminiscent of pop art. ■
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Wedding Cake Planner WEDDING CAKE OPTION ONE
WEDDING CAKE OPTION TWO
Bakery
Bakery
Contact
Contact
Address
Address
Phone
Phone
Number of Servings
Number of servings
Description
Description
Cancellation policy
Cancellation policy
Total cost
Total cost
Deposit
Deposit
Notes
Notes
GROOM'S CAKE Bakery Contact Address Phone Number of Servings Description Cancellation policy Total cost Deposit Notes
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Let Them Eat… a Scrumptious Alternative? Creative desserts customize a reception
Photo by Rebel Louise Photography It may be hard to believe, but not everyone likes cake. But cake is usually the edible showpiece of a wedding. If cake isn’t your thing, don’t despair. There are alternative weddings desserts which are as delicious, fun and spectacular as cake. Cupcakes — Many couples have already been trading wedding cake for cupcakes. You can offer guests several different flavors, and place the cupcakes on a decorative display tower. Also, with the increase in gourmet cupcake shops, you could easily find someone to make fun and creative flavors. Doughnuts — Mmmm...doughnuts. These little round circles of love bring back memories of lazy Sunday mornings with the family. At your wedding, they can be decorated and displayed in a variety of ways. Doughnut tower, anyone? Macarons — These delightful cookies are making their stamp on the wedding scene. The flavor combinations are nearly endless. You could even have champagne-flavored macarons to accompany your toast. These fancy, handheld desserts will have your guests wondering why they ever wanted cake. Pie — It’s not just for picnics or holiday dessert tables anymore. Not many people could say no to a buttery, flaky crust and delicious filling. The flavor of the pie could reflect the time of year of your wedding, such as a pumpkin pie for fall or a cherry pie for a summer wedding.
Cookies — They will always please a crowd. You could have a cookie buffet or create a cookie tower. Cookies and milk also make a good late-night snack for guests at the reception. Ice Cream Sandwiches — You can never go wrong by adding ice cream into the mix. However, because there is ice cream involved, you will not be able to display the sandwiches before serving. They will have to be served directly to guests, although you probably won’t hear many complaints about that. Ice cream sandwiches are a special, nontraditional treat making their way into the wedding world. Cheesecake — While still a cake, cheesecakes are a completely different taste sensation. Decadent, delicate and silky, cheesecakes are always a good option, though they may be more spendy than traditional cake. Cake pops — These have been on the wedding scene for a few years, but it’s always worthwhile to revisit a classic. Cake pops are tasty and make for a good presentation. Guests can serve themselves and choose their favorite flavor. If you like to bake, enlist your friends or bridesmaids for a day of cake pop baking and decorating. It will be even more special knowing you put time, effort and love into each one. ■
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Haute cuisine or comfort foods? Wedding food trends for 2018
Ever stayed at a wedding until the last song and then ended up at Denny’s because, after hours of dancing and drinking, everyone needs a late night snack? Not in 2018! Whether it’s snacks or a fullservice dinner, food offers couples an opportunity to show off their personal style and share what’s important to them. Not only can food make a wedding distinctive, it can be a memorable aspect of a wedding, and that’s certainly the case for 2018 weddings. This year, DIY and comfort are all the rage, as are desserts, brunch and even late night snacks (finally!). While things are returning to upscale and classy, they’re not losing their homey roots: Think herb and porcini mac and cheese, doughnut bites with chocolate dipping sauce and bitesized lasagnas. Start by asking yourself “What do I like to eat?” When you answer that question, you’ll know what to serve at your wedding.
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Here are more details on the food trends of 2018: Comfort food in small sizes — Comfort food is popular this year, but upscale and miniaturized. Brides and grooms are serving up mini-waffles and fried chicken, fancy mac and cheese, and even wood-fired pizzas. A good way to tap into this trend? Sit down with your significant other, discuss what your favorite foods were as children, and then talk about if any would be appropriate for your wedding. A caterer can help you finetune your ideas. Build-your-own — DIY is still huge and allows guests to build meals and snacks around their own tastes. You can do a build-your-own burger bar, a build-yourown taco bar or even a build-your-own mimosa bar, set with all sorts of juice, from pomegranate to blood orange.
Brunch — Everyone loves brunch (OK, not everyone, but a lot of people). This year, brides and grooms are bringing the breakfast party to the wedding. Think mimosas, crepes, eggs Benedict, bloody marys. Cake, but — Yes, cake is still in, but brides are adding all sorts of desserts to the menu: doughnuts, macarons, pies, pastries and more. There’s no reason cake needs to be the only dessert at a wedding. Ice cream truck, anyone? Late night snacks — Finally! After dancing and drinking, a little late-night snack is a great idea. Milk and cookies, sliders, mini tacos and more are making late-night appearances and we think they’re much needed. After hours of dancing and drinking, late-night snacks are a necessity. ■
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101
Noshing CONSIDERATIONS FOR HIRING A CATERER
Some venues come with a caterer, meaning if you want the venue, you have to go with their food choices and chefs. Others let you bring in your own choice of caterer, which allows you to customize the menu, but also puts the decision on you to find the right business to hire. Food is an important component to a wedding. Keeping guests fed can ensure they have a good time celebrating with you during the reception. Here are a few tips for picking and hiring an off-site caterer: oo Decide what is most important to you and communicate that to the caterer. Do you really want to serve breakfast or want the theme to be farm-to-table? Whatever you’re hoping for, clearly communicate to your caterer. oo Look for caterers that match your own style. Do you like rustic fare? A caterer that specializes in this will likely do it best. oo Look for detail-oriented, organized caterers with good track records. How someone acts in pre-wedding meetings will likely reflect how things come together on the big day. Look for a caterer that puts the effort into getting to know you and keeping track of the things you like.
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oo Discuss details. Make sure the caterer will be compatible with your venue. Talk about what power outlets will be available, possible setups, space, who will bring what, and if any cooking appliances will not be allowed. oo If you want to serve alcohol at the reception, first check with your venue about the rules and requirements. Then check with the caterer to see if that is a service they are licensed to offer. If so, discuss what types of drinks (cocktails, wine, specific brands) they can provide or if they will serve beverages you purchase elsewhere. ■
QUESTIONS TO ASK A POTENTIAL CATERER • Is the date is available? • Has the caterer worked with your venue before? • What are the menu options? • Does the company have a specialty? • What is the maximum and minimum number of people the caterer can serve? • Will they set tables, put out tablecloths and clean the dishes? • What if something changes last minute? • Are they able to accommodate special diets? If so, what do they need from you and when do they need it by? • Does the company provide cakes as well? If so, is it OK to bring your own cake instead? • What happens to leftovers/unused food? • Are there any fees or charges not included in the price estimate? • What options do you have for servers: will they provide table service, walk around with trays, replenish food as it runs low? Will they take drink orders? Do staff wear a uniform? • Will you be able to serve alcohol, and if so, what do you serve? • Are drinks and desserts charged at a set price for the evening (per bottle/ cake) or per person/serving? • Is gratuity included in the bill or will you be expected to leave separate tips? • Does the caterer have any suggestions for your particular wedding?
THE
Menu OPTION #1
OPTION #2
Caterer
Caterer
Contact
Contact
Address
Address
Phone
Phone
Cancellation terms
Cancellation terms
Deposit
Due
Deposit
Due
Total cost
Due
Total cost
Due
Notes
Notes
FOOD Formal
Buffet
Hors d'oeuvres
Number of Guests
Cake & punch
Cost per Serving
Colors (table cloths, napkins, etc) Cancellation terms Menu Choices Equipment Provided Cake Cutting Serice
Yes
No
Bar Service
Yes
No
License, health permits and insurance
Yes
No
Gratuity included
Yes
No
Set-up Time Hours of Service
Departure Time
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Toasts and Speeches Wedding toasts and speeches tell a love story, with a dash of humor and sentimentality, all in under five minutes. It’s the moment to reflect on the wedding couple, their journey to this day and the future that awaits.
BASIC OUTLINE OF A WEDDING SPEECH Goal: Under five minutes, start to finish oo Introduce yourself to the crowd, your role in the wedding and/or relationship to the couple. oo Open with an appropriate joke or anecdote. oo Add some compliments and appreciation – of the couple, the venue, the families, the ceremony. oo Share some sweet or humorous memories of the bridal couple. oo Offer a nugget of wisdom or advice, leading to well-wishes for their future. oo Thank the couple and acknowledge the families and others who worked and participated in the wedding.
CAUTION FLAGS The bride and groom may designate a special friend or relative for this honor, or it may be part of the best man’s or maid of honor’s roles. Parents of the couple may want to contribute a few words, as may the bride or groom. Whoever is speaking, it is an important role that will have the full attention of the guests. There are only two rules for success: prepare and practice! PREPARE AND DO NOT PROCRASTINATE This is no time to wing-it. Start a month or so in advance to assemble your thoughts about special memories, qualities you love about the bride and groom individually and as a couple. You may want to ask others to contribute memories or anecdotes to incorporate. You may want to research and consider poems, quotes or song lyrics to include. If more than one person is speaking, compare notes to avoid duplicating each other. PRACTICE Write down your remarks or make a bullet-list on a notecard. Practice in front of your spouse, friends or co-workers – any willing audience you can find. Record your practice and review for improvements. Are you shuffling your feet, staring down or talking too quietly? Time your practice to make sure you are keeping it short and sweet. ■
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✖✖ Don’t drink too much before your speech! ✖✖ Bring your notes or put them on your phone so you won’t leave them at home. ✖✖ Everyone loves humor and a fun joke can lighten up any crowd, but remember someone’s grandmother is probably attending and choose your jokes with care. Relatedly, people will be expecting some funny stories about the wedding couple, but don’t let any secrets out or humiliate either person with a story not intended for prime time. ✖✖ Make sure everyone can hear and that any audio equipment is working. ✖✖ Be who you are. You were chosen for a reason. Don’t try to force a style that isn’t natural to who you are, whether that is a comedy routine or a deeply serious introspection.
Romantic DESTINATIONS Tips for planning your honeymoon
You've got the dress. You've got the cake. You've got the caterer and the band and everything in between. Now there's just one detail left to arrange: the honeymoon. While this is an exciting decision to make, it can also be a difficult one. After all, this is a vacation that will mark the beginning of your life as husband and wife, and will be remembered forever. What makes a honeymoon vacation right for a couple is determined by budget, time, personality and creativity. The options are limitless from Paris to Hawaii and everywhere in between. Your travel dates are an important influence on the price. For example, summer cruises can cost double what winter cruises do. If you’re interested in traveling internationally, the currency exchange can help or hurt your budget plans. In countries where the dollar is strong, it’s hard to beat the value of all-
inclusive package. Here are some tips to keep in mind as you explore options for a romantic honeymoon destination. ADVANCE PLANNING oo Start planning early. oo Make sure you know what you both want in a honeymoon. Rest and relaxation? Adventure? All-inclusive? International? A road trip? The islands? A cruise? Make sure you consider what you both like to do and agree on the location and activities you’ll both enjoy. oo Set a budget andstay within that budget. oo Know how many days you have for both travel and honeymoon. oo Once you decide on a location, do your research. Get air prices, hotel options at various price points,
rental car costs, food estimates and incidentals. oo Set an itinerary. Keep it interesting, but also loose enough to allow for extra sleep and relaxation. oo Consult a professional travel agent or travel planner. oo Consider your departure day. Do you really want a morning flight the day after your wedding? oo Consider your return day. Returning a day or two before you have to go back to work may be beneficial. oo Consider trip insurance just in case there is bad weather, delays or flight cancellations. oo Book some of your activities, such as restaurant meals or tours, in advance for less stress. Continued on page 72
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PACKING CONSIDERATIONS oo Plan what outfits you’ll need based on activities and location. Choose clothing that can layer, as well as mix and match.
WHILE TRAVELING oo Be on time to the airport. Be earlier than that. It’s good to have an early flight so you can have a Plan B if Plan A goes off schedule.
oo Get a waist or neck wallet for valuables.
oo Buy souvenirs that mean something to both of you: a painting, ceramics, mementos that will forever remind you of your wonderful honeymoon.
oo Have a tote or backpack for daytrips and extra items you’ll want to carry home. oo Make sure you have a medical kit for every possible mishap: allergies, irregularity, cuts or bruises, bug bites, headaches and any prescription medications. oo Bring batteries and chargers for your phones, laptops and cameras. oo Bring converters (electricity) for those countries with different outlets. oo Bring a light jacket, wrap or hoodie in case of cooler weather. If traveling internationally, women may need a shawl or scarf in countries that require women to have their heads covered to enter certain landmarks.
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oo Always use the safe in your hotel room. ON THE HOMEFRONT oo Arrange for pet care in advance. oo Have a designated friend or relative that can clean up any leftover wedding details, such as returning rental items. oo Have someone retrieve your mail and check on your house or apartment. ■
Honeymoon PLANNING
WEDDING NIGHT Address Phone Date reservations made Confirmation
HONEYMOON Leaving Returning Travel agency Contact person Phone Airline Flight number Transportation Notes
AFTER THE HONEYMOON Send your wedding announcement to the Mail Tribune & Ashland Daily Tidings
Hotel
Destination
WORKSHEET
Select shots. Review photo proofs and video. Choose photos for your wedding album and order prints for yourself, family and friends. Write thank-you notes. Hand-write each note, personalizing it by mentioning the gift and how you will use it. Thank-you notes should be sent within a month of the wedding. Take your gown to a professional cleaner to have it dry-cleaned and preserved. This should be done within one to six months after your wedding. Return borrowed items. Deposit wedding-gift checks, bonds and stock certificates. Pay wedding and reception invoices.
Don't forget to change your name on: Automobile registration
Legal contracts
Bank accounts
Mortgages
Credit cards
Passport
Doctor and dental records
Property titles or leases
Driver’s license
Social Security card
401(k)/retirement plans
U.S. Postal Service
Health, dental, life and auto insurance
Voter’s registration
IRS documents
Memberships
Utility bills Wills
Investment accounts
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Registry Rundown With a wedding around the corner, parties and showers planned, one thing is certain: You’ll be getting lots of gifts. Help guide your guests in the right direction by creating a registry of your most-desired items. Feeling confused by the endless lists often suggested for a bridal registry? We’ve assembled a few do’s and don’ts to help simplify the process of shopping for your new life as a married couple.
DO CREATE A REGISTRY A wedding is a once in a lifetime event, and many of your loved ones will want to honor the moment with a lovely and lasting gift. By registering for your specific needs, you will help direct your guests to choices that are right for you and can last a lifetime. REGISTER AT MULTIPLE LOCATIONS Most couples register at about three stores, often a local gift shop, a large retailer and an online option. This allows your grandmother’s friends to shop at their favorite small business, while college friends can easily send gifts from across the country. CONSIDER YOUR LIFESTYLE If you don’t see yourself hosting formal gatherings, there’s no need to register for 12 sets of fine china. On the other hand, you may want to focus on pricy, traditional items like these, as it's unlikely you will have another chance to get them all at once. PICK DIVERSE PRICE POINTS It’s a good idea to register for items across the cost scale. Inexpensive kitchen or bathroom items are great gifts for casual showers. And don’t be afraid to add some big ticket items. Some groups may wish to go in together for a larger gift, and some guests may want to give a truly special present to commemorate your marriage. LET PEOPLE KNOW The etiquette for sharing your gift registry can be a bit tricky. While its considered inappropriate to include any registry information on the wedding invitation, you can direct guests to a wedding website that features the links to your choices. It’s also polite for hostesses to include registry lists in shower invitations.
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DON'T WAIT It’s perfectly acceptable to start your registry as soon as you announce your engagement. Some people may wish to send a congratulatory gift right away or at any of the pre-celebrations leading up to the big day. OVERDO IT While it can be tempting to set up several registries, this can cause confusion as your guests attempt to take stock of what has already been purchased. Lots of duplications leaves you with the chore of multiple returns and exchanges after the wedding. UNDERESTIMATE YOUR NEEDS Think you need eight plates? Register for 12. Similarly, request more towels, sheets, glasses and silverware than you think you will use. It’s always good to have extras of these everyday items, especially in the event that your pattern or style becomes discontinued in the future. DO IT ALONE While some grooms may not be excited about the prospect of poring over fine china and silverware choices, remind him that many of these items will be in your home forever. The wedding registry should be a joint venture, reflecting both your tastes. FORGET THE THANK-YOU NOTES Hand-written letters may be a rare form of communication these days, but when it comes to saying “thank you,” they are the only way to go. Thank you notes let your guests know that you received their carefully selected gift, and that you appreciate their kind gesture. Aim to have all notes out within three months of the wedding.
Unconventional Gift Registries Couples ask for fewer blenders and more Belize Opening presents is fun, but how many toasters does one couple need? Though you may want to have a traditional gift registry for linens and kitchenware, there are appealing alternatives for family and friends to fund travel, homes and charitable causes rather than a packaged gift. HONEYMOON FUNDING With these services, guests can choose to pay for a portion of the expenses, such as airline miles, hotels or dining. They can also give add-on extras, such as a Champagne brunch or a massage for two. Depending on the destination, donors can choose to fund sightseeing excursions, gondola rides, hot air balloon trips, horseback outings or deep-sea fishing trips, as examples. HOME FUNDING Some couples may have an eye to the future and home ownership. Family and friends can contribute to their down payment goal or “buy” portions of their house (such as a “window,” at a suggested amount of $75). NONTRADITIONAL GIFTS Couples may be stocked for kitchenware, but would like some camping gear or bicycles, a sofa or wine. One advantage of these services is that givers can pool funds to contribute toward higherpriced gifts. CHARITABLE DONATIONS In lieu of gifts, some couples choose to direct guests to fund nonprofits. Some popular examples at the I Do Foundation (part of Just Give) are Doctors Without Borders, the American Cancer Society, Habitat for Humanity and Save the Children. Couples can also choose nonprofits closer to home, such as animal shelters and schools. ■
CAUTION All wedding gifts are exactly that – gifts. Guests should have the option to choose a gift that they feel good about, whether that is a coffee maker or the carbon offset for the honeymoon. Consider a blend of registries that suits your needs, but also has traditional and nontraditional options for people who wish to give you a memorable present. Recognize that some guests may prefer an object over an experience and vice versa. Even in selecting charities, you should choose a several so there is an option that may vibe with their values also.
CHANGES IN ATTITUDE Alternative registries are on the rise. One reason is more Americans are getting married later. The average age of first marriage is 27 for women and 29 for men. Many brides- and grooms-to-be are living on their own or together and already own bedding, kitchen items and other typical wedding gifts. Another reason is a more casual modern lifestyle no longer puts the same premium on formal collections, such as large china and silverware sets, that previous generations did. Many modern couples prize experiences over items. Engaged couples may also feel cash-strapped and would prefer to pool wedding gifts into a big present, such as an appliance or furniture.
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MARRIAGE LICENSE In Oregon, each county is responsible for issuing marriage licenses, however the following rules hold true statewide. Marriage licenses are overseen at the county clerk’s office. Check the webpage of the county clerk’s office in your county to verify hours of operation, local fees and regulations. A marriage ceremony in Oregon requires an officiant (a judge or an ordained representative of a religious organization) and two witnesses above the age of 18. The license must be filed back with the same county from which it was purchased within five days of the marriage. Your license becomes a record of marriage once it has been returned and signed by the local official. oo You DON’T have to be an Oregon resident to obtain a marriage license. oo You DO have to be at least 17 years old, and 17-year-olds must have proof of parental consent. oo You DON’T need a blood test. oo You CAN’T get married until three days after the license is issued. oo You CAN use the license anywhere in Oregon within 60 days to get married. oo You BOTH must appear in person to sign the license. oo You will NEED TO BRING proof of age, valid ID and the license fee (cash or debit/credit cards only). Exceptions and qualifiers: oo Exceptions may be made in accordance with the Americans with Disabilities Act for applicants who cannot appear in the office. oo The three-day waiting period can be waived if the wedding is in within that time, but there is an additional fee. Both parties must be present to request the waiver. oo Parents will need to be present or sign a consent form for 17-year-olds. oo If one or both of the parties has been married before, a license can be issued one day after the final date of the divorce.
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Making Official THINGS
NAME CHANGE If you are changing your name after marriage, start by requesting a new Social Security card, which you’ll need to update your driver’s license and passport. Notifying the Social Security Administration will also update the Internal Revenue Service of your new name. You’ll need to file form SS-5 with your local Social Security office, which may have to be done in person. You’ll need a certified copy of your marriage certificate from the appropriate county agency. Once you have a new Social Security card, you will need a new driver’s license. Check what you are required to bring before visiting the DMV. You may be able to update your vehicle registration and title as part of the process. ADDRESS CHANGE If one or both of you is moving after the wedding, notify all the relevant entities, from employers to the post office, of how to find you. Use the opportunity to update your new name as well, if applicable. Be sure to add the spouse’s name to the mortgage or lease if moving into one person’s existing home. STATUS CHANGE Marriage is a life event that can necessitate at review of all your official paperwork, including legal documents, wills, insurance, emergency contacts and beneficiaries. Most health insurance providers allow 30 days following the ceremony to add a spouse to the insurance plan. If you miss this window, you may have to wait until open enrollment. ■
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