Spark volume 72, issue no.2 by The Spark

friday 23rd october 2015

NEWS

#CutTheCosts

spark volume 72, issue no.2

LIFESTYLE

Join RUSU and fight the Grant Cut!

SPORT

ENTERTAINMENT

Excited for Halloween?

Castle Crashers

Ari Carrington teaches us some brilliant Halloween make up for this October!

Read all about the magical world of dark wizards, and mystical gems

Risky Business

Is the Premier League at risk of losing its 4th Champions League spot?

University of Reading rises to its highest ever world ranking HANNAH CROFTS 3rd Year English Literature

Last year, the University of Reading was placed at 202 in the table, making this a huge rise and the first time that it has been ranked in the top 200 since 2010. In the QS World University Rankings, Universities are rated on aspects such as their academic reputation, global outlook and research strength. Reading is one of the UK's leading researchintensive universities. Its research and how much it has been referenced and credited have in part boosted its overall ranking. The departments where Reading has been recognised in several surveys for its research include Agriculture, Food Science, Meteorology, and Classics, with academics and students alike actively involved. Reading’s ranking also means it is in the top 1% of institutions worldwide, which is a phenomenal achievement. Commenting on Reading’s rise, Vice-Chancellor Sir David Bell, said: "While league tables don't tell the full story, this assessment of our international reputation places us firmly at the top table of major global universities.

“We can look forward with confidence to the future, as we open our state-of-the-art new campus in Malaysia and approach the celebration of our 90th anniversary as a university next year". In addition to the overall ranking, the highest-ranking faculty was Arts and Humanities, which was ranked joint 128th in the world with the Hebrew University of Jerusalem.

The University of Reading is now at its highest ever position in the QS World University Rankings, having increased to 156th in the

The Arts and Humanities faculty covers courses such as Classics, History, History of Art and Philosophy. All of these departments are dedicated to high quality research, with the Departments of Philosophy and History of Art’s research being of international standard. Reading’s rise in the table shows just how much the university is growing as a leading higher education institution and how much it is investing into itself, its research and its students.

Winter scene in Reading Credit to Beatrice Ridge

Why the 350 lashes for Karl Andree? JAMES BRYER 3rd Year Politics and International Relations

Karl Andree, a 74-year-old British cancer survivor, has been sentenced in Saudi Arabia to 350 lashes for possession of wine. Over 75,000 signatures have been

put forward to campaign for his release. This story, however, goes somewhat deeper than extreme conservatism. Born and raised within an American compound outside the capital, my childhood memories are dominated by flashes of the Desert Kingdom. Images of an oil-wealthy society which

remains faithful to the pillars of Islam are conjured up in one’s mind, but the reality is quite different. To assess this headline you really have to understand why these laws are in place and the reasons for such stern sentencing. ...continued on page 5

NEWS|EDITORIAL

Embrace your inner weirdo Editors this Halloween Picks

EDITOR.SPARK@READING.AC.UK

NATHALIE SIAH The Editor

Joining the Gym? If you want to look like a Greek God, read all about Luke Hewitt’s guide for all athletes in choosing the gyms for you in Reading

One World Not Enough? Try Two! Stephen Morris tries out his story on the big screen which sounds initially promising but feels underdeveloped.

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Solow for Champion Put on a fancy hat and take your places, find out about the British Champion Day races. Rory Ford gives the race a spirited report from start to finish.

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Edible Eyeballs Need something spooky on your lips? Here’s some tricks for those treats you can’t just get enough of, easy to make and delightful to eat

Halloween, known as All Hallows Eve, is a single night where it is believed that the barriers are the weakest between the land of the living and that of the dead. It is rumoured that creatures, monsters and spirits alike roam freely amongst children walking door to door looking for something sweet to eat. No hairy creature or man will be pulled apart from one another just by looks, and will be joined together just simply by being at the same place at the same time. When orange is the new black, I believe that you must grab the chance to escape the drudgery of books that is student life, and make a leap into the weird and the wonderful. By finding your inner passions, this holiday encourages you to look as weird as possible without any judgment because on no matter what level, there is no consistency in a crowd of a vampire, zombie and a fairy princess. Being normal is vastly

overrated anyway. Somebody that seizes life in the most absurd of ways is Tim Burton. He is one of those people that continuously creep you out but then make you fall in love. The dividing line between the two can be so blurry. Besides the fact that his hair looks like a spider web salad, he has created beautifully

strange masterpieces for decades. What may be bizarre at first, pushes boundaries and makes us believe that skeletons can be truly charming. Still, he is the prime example that no matter how odd you are, you should embrace it and show it off—because if you don’t know yourself, then who will?

So this Halloween, try to find that small piece of you that doesn’t seem to quite fit and celebrate it! The one size fit all model is never a true picture of the differences between individuals. Whether it may be an alarming sense of style, a beauty mark or deformity, 31 October will give you the chance to be whatever it is you want to be.

31 Student Horrors: Nightmare on Whiteknights

23. Walk of shame 24. Mum sent you a friend request 25. Tagged photos of you 26. Tutor meeting 27. No new messages 28. ‘You get the next round’ 29. Slow internet 30. Blocked toilet 31. White shirt plus snakebite

JESS O’DONNELL AND JEN DANIEL Deputy Editors

It’s the season for being terrified, so we have compiled 31 one-line horror stories to make you really uncomfortable. Consider yourself very lucky if you have never had these words uttered to you or experienced these delights that Reading University has to offer. We wish you the best of luck with your Autumn term and hope that you do not endure any of these horror stories in the months to come.

1. Card declined 2. Group work 3. 70% of assessment 4. 6am start 5. Stubbed toe 6. 9am lecture

7. Commitment 8. 3am fire alarm 9. Low fat 10. Park Eat dinner queue 11. Roast me 12. Freshers Flu 13. ‘We only have Pepsi’ 14. Big Name on Campus

15. Deadline Day 16. Carb-free 17. Out of ink 18. £5 minimum 19. ‘We don’t do student discount’ 20. Low battery 21. Park Bar last orders 22. Hangover

Yes, Halloween can be much scarier than these 31 crises, but we thought these were a little more realistic and relatable for students than being brutally chain-sawed to death by a zombie, for example. These are the kinds of nightmares that could pounce on you at any time here on campus, so beware!

Reading Malaysia The first students are welcomed to the University of Reading Malaysia

Should be doing more It seems that the government “should be doing more” for graduates – discover the statistics

Politics Is the Trident renewal inevitable? Yasmin Wild .discusses her views

Wine Discover why Karl Andree was sentenced to prison and 350 lashes purely for possession of wine

NEWS

CONTENTS

23|10|15 NEWS Is modern university life increasingly becoming the cause of a higher demand for wellbeing services?

Lifestyle Now this term has started people are joining the gym and trying to get on top of their fitness, Luke Hewitt gives great advice on which gyms are best.

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ENTERTAINMENT An exclusive interview with Sam and Joe from Mallory Knox.

Amanda Callaghan and Oli Ratcliffe cutting the ribbon commencing its opening Photo by Nathalie Siah

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Sport Ever felt small in the gym? MASS President Danny Ward can give you all the advice you need

WITH SPECIAL THANKS TO... Designer- Kit Lane

The Job Shop has left the building! NATHALIE SIAH The Editor

What was once a familiar sight within the Students Union has now moved into the Carrington Building on campus, sharing the building with the Careers Department above, on the first floor. The grand opening was celebrated with cupcakes and sweets followed by a ribbon cutting ceremony on the 29th September. This event was

attended by RUSU President, Oli Ratcliffe and Amanda Callaghan, Dean for Teaching and Learning. Callaghan, looked pleased at the event saying, “This is a fantastic opportunity for students to get help in getting a part-time job. Any kind of experience that the students can gain will help their CVs, and help with transferable skills, and hopefully help them get a job at the end of the day which is very important.” Ratcliffe confirmed that despite the move from the Students Union, RUSU will continue to

ensure that students are aware of the JobShop’s presence and significance for students. He himself, worked in a van selling burgers for two and a half years in the center of campus and understands what a central role it plays. The Job Shop has moved mainly for the larger space for employers to come on campus to take over the space, facilitated access to the Student Services team. Students can come in to get advice to look for part-time work,

visit the Job Shop website and have a talk through the opportunities that are available. In addition, students are able to bring in their CVs to ensure that they are selling themselves as much as possible. With this expertise, showcasing their abilities and experience will put their best foot forward in the application process. They are open 10 am – 4 pm Monday to Friday and welcome all students interested in finding part time work.

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Students in Solidarity DIOGO VENTURA & NINA HAGER International Part Time & Welfare Officer

Dear students, Proposed changes to immigration law will make the UK an increasingly difficult place to study for international students. The government wants to make it harder for international students to progress through their studies; they also want to make it more difficult for international students to be with their families whilst they study, as well as increasing the amount of savings international students require before they can even get a Visa. These unfair attacks on

international students and their freedom to work and study in the UK must stop! That’s why I, alongside RUSU, am supporting the NUS’ national walk-out next month. This isn’t just the concern of international students - it could indirectly affect home students too by making it harder for your friends from overseas to stay in the UK to study. We want both international and home students to come together in a sign of solidarity for international students. We want the government to get the message loud and clear that Reading students will not tolerate their continued attacks on international students and to urge them to think

again about draconian changes to immigration law. The UK should, as an example, take countries such as Germany and play its part in supporting and welcoming a much higher number of migrants, including international students. But we cannot change the government’s mind on this issue without your support. Join us on Tuesday 17th November at 11am in support of international students everywhere. We look forward to seeing you there.

from producers to presenters, some of our alumni work at the BBC. Donors give students the opportunity to collectively develop and share their voice through software purchases and equipment upgrades. This will help more voices to be heard and

keep student content relevant, timely and clear. To read more about the many ways donors support student activities, or to participate in student fundraising, visit http://alumni.reading.ac.uk/ givingtoreading.

Best wishes,

Officer Update Donor generosity enhances the quality of student media

Diogo Ventura and Nina Hager

NINA HAGER Welfare Officer

After a summer in Reading spent training, planning and going to many university committees, we are so glad students are finally back. So, we thought we’d update you on some of the things that we’ve been up to. Firstly, as you might have noticed, RUSU has been asking you to help represent the student voice. We are looking for academic reps for each course and faculty, as well as an LGBT+ Part Time Officer and a Postgraduate Part Time Officer. Voting week was the 16th October- 22nd October, so go to rusu.co.uk/ representation to find out who you elected! One of our big plans this year is joining the National #CutTheCosts NUS campaign. You may have already seen this dotted around campus but we are opposing the changes in the Budget that will be detrimental to students across the country. From capping Postgraduate loans at 30 years old to changing the much-needed students grants to loans, leaving the poorest students in over £53,000 worth of debt, we must take a stand for students. This is why we are

planning on joining the national demonstration in London on the 4th of November, which we urge you to come along to. If you need any more information about this then please contact me. This summer has also seen the onset of the new ‘Welfare Representative’ role that all sports teams must have as a compulsory position. As far as we know, we are the only Union to have this, which we see as a big step forward. They’ll be receiving training surrounding consent, drug and alcohol abuse and diversity, and will act as a person that anyone in a sports team can go to if they need someone to talk to. Lastly, we would love to thank the JCRs, Angels and those clubs and societies at the Freshers’ Fayres. Together, you all did a fabulous job to make the new arrivals feel welcomed, and showed how getting involved in RUSU is a great way to spend your time at the University of Reading.

GIVING TO READING

Donors have a significant impact across the university, from bursaries and hardship funds, through research and equipment, to extra-curricular activities that allow students to grow and develop their skills. We are so grateful to all our donors. We hope you are, too. Here is just one of the many student activities that donors make possible: Donors are helping give students a clear voice and train the next generation of budding journalists Student media informs students, sparks debates and raises awareness of issues and events on campus and in the community via print (The Spark Newspaper), radio (Junction 11) and broadcasting (RU:ON TV). It also provides training and experience for the next generation of budding journalists. In fact,

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...continued from front page

It lacks understanding to merely dismiss it as ‘backwards’ or ‘barbaric’ without getting a larger perspective on how Saudi society is run. The Royal Family have total control and power over the people, and to ensure the entrenchment of their power, an extreme form of Islam has been codified and institutionalised in the civil structure, thus leading to the severity of punishment. During the era of Saudization, where Westerners would be given the opportunity to bring their specific set of skills into the booming economy, the law was stratified between the two cultures to make life more comforting for the new arrivals. Walled up villages where women had the freedom to speak their mind and wear whatever they liked were propped up outside cities and away from the local populace. Brewing your own alcohol and engaging in boozed-up fancy dress parties were commonplace amongst expatriates, and the Saudi authorities were well aware of the fact. One of the biggest consumers of alcoholic beverages were actually the Royal Family themselves, and it was well known that there were special number plates on their cars so their drink driving would go unpunished. So why the sudden arrest of a wealthy, well-connected Briton after all these years of turning a blind eye? Well, the Middle East is changing, and the Arab Spring

has been the domino effect that all Monarchical Oligarchies fear like the plague. To ensure that the power remains in the hands of the Royals, these concessions have been lifted to not only show the rest of society that the King is fair and just, but also to impose their power on anyone who dares to usurp them. I understand that one must respect the laws of the land and ‘do as the Romans’, but when the Romans are drink driving through town, the line becomes a bit greyer. So in essence, the law lacks consistency by a long stretch and is heavily politicised. The verdict is of course unfair and extreme given the leniency for most Westerners in recent Saudi history. Although I am not arguing that stratified law is a good thing, it is actually an example of how deeply corrupt Saudi really is. To expand, there has been greater leniency in the past to attract the labour supply and promote harmony between Saudi society and its expat communities. So rather than seeing this as a form of religious extremism, see this for what it is: a reaction to the Arab Spring in its wider context. This argument isn’t about justice - too many glass houses have been shattered for that already. This is about power, and the only way we’ll get Karl Andree back is by throwing some weight around and asserting diplomatic dominance in the relationship - something I’m not sure Mr Cameron wants to do.

|NEWS

The University of Reading Malaysia welcomes its first undergraduates

University of Reading Malaysia

HARRIET LYNDS News Editor

Based on the EduCity complex, Johor Bahru, Iskander, the University of Reading Malaysia (UoRM) has officially been opened. The campus is an integrated, self-contained site centered around ‘The Heartspace’ – a plaza filled with tropical plants, designed on the natural space of our beautiful Whiteknights campus. The first undergraduates to study in the new 27,000m2 building have the opportunity for a Foundation in Business or Science, with undergraduate programmes also available in Business and Finance, Quantity Surveying, Real Estate or Psychology. Due to launch next year are additional Undergraduate programmes, including Pharmacy, Law and a whole range of other postgraduate programmes, including the Henley Business School MBA. The £25 million purpose-built

institution combines flexible teaching, research, learning facilities and social spaces – including exclusive laboratories, a fantastic Learning and Resource Centre, and four new lecture theatres. Halls, catering and outstanding sports facilities are also on offer, making UoRM one of the most advanced university sites in Southeast Asia. The opening of this stunning institution has benefits for UK students as well. While UoRM undergraduates are guaranteed the chance to study in the UK, UK students now have the option to continue their studies in one of the most vibrant and dynamic countries in Asia. UoR student Emma Hall says: “I think the opening of a campus in Malaysia is an incredible opportunity for everyone involved as it provides the chance for an even more diverse education.” University of Reading ViceChancellor Sir David Bell said: “This is a milestone in terms of our global presence. Our work in Malaysia is a natural extension of the close ties that we have enjoyed there over many years, as well as

a vivid example of our ambitions to have impact around the world. “Our world-class strengths in research and teaching will make a lasting impact in this dynamic and exciting region, equipping the next generation to rise to the challenges of an increasingly globalised economy." The first Open Day in August attracted 2,000 visitors, therefore student numbers are expected to quickly rise over the coming year, the eventual capacity being 3,000 students. Professor Tony Downes, Provost at University of Reading Malaysia, said: "UoRM staff have been working round the clock to prepare for the students' arrival and I am extremely proud of what we have achieved together. As the campus is brand new, students are arriving at the same time as staff are moving in to their new home, which has created a great deal of buzz and excitement. Seeing students arrive on campus and our staff begin teaching has made all the hard work worthwhile.  "I welcome everyone to our new campus and wish everyone success in their work and studies."

NEWS|GENERAL NEWS

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RUSU Against the Grant Cut

RUSU president believes that students are not taken seriously enough RACHEL WYATT 1st Year Art and Psychology

The journey to university is a difficult one; deciding where and what to study, cramming to get the grades, and stressing out about organising finances. And now, students in our position next year will be unable to claim a maintenance grant due to the government cutting it completely from 2016’s budget. RUSU president Oliver Ratcliffe passionately believes that this cut: “will present university as a financial burden” and “will deter students [from higher education] by adding to an already ludicrous amount of debt”. Having up to an extra £3,387 of debt per year on the shoulders of lower income students could reduce their motivation and ability to attend university, which is a major concern, as it could introduce a further divide between the classes. A Psychology first year at Reading felt ‘misled’ when she discovered that maintenance grants are to be dropped in her second year, despite having already applied to university. She said: “My parents wanted me to get an apprenticeship because they were put off by the debt, and that was before we found out about the grant being cut.” She advised: “don’t let it put you off as you’ll probably never

On the students' side Photograph by Oli Ratcliffe

pay it back anyway”. This is yet another issue, since student loans are scrapped after thirty years. Nevertheless, the Conservatives expect to save approximately £3.5 billion a year from this cut. However, with over 900,000 UK students receiving maintenance grants every year, it is no surprise that its complete severance from the budget has resulted in a swarm of protests, with demonstrations seen in many areas, including Manchester,

London, and all over the internet. The National Union of Students (NUS) has responded to this cut by creating the hashtag #CutTheCosts, which advises: “Ask your MP to #CutTheCosts, not our maintenance grants,” with the hope that sufficient opposition will lead to a reinstatement of the grants. RUSU is backing the #CutTheCosts campaign by joining the National Free Education Demonstration this November, hosted by the

NCAFC. Ratcliffe says: “The demonstration is a rallying point for resistance to the government’s plans to marketise education”. As advised by NUS’ #CutTheCosts, RUSU will also be presenting an argument to our local MP, Rob Wilson. Ratcliffe continues: “Our local MPs have backed this decision without knowing the repercussions of it. Time and time again they make decisions on our behalf with no consultation and they become increasingly out of touch with

what students here at Reading are going through. “Local MPs need to listen to students. Too often, we are cast aside and not taken seriously enough.” Several websites, including theguardian.com, are suggesting other ways in which we, the students, can fight the cut, including using social media and petitions to get our voices heard; collecting testimonies; organising demonstrations (we are students after all); and working with our Student Unions.

at physics, psychotherapy and spirituality. In the coming year, Café Theologique will turn its attention to current hot topics: the ethics of drone strikes, assisted dying, and the refugee crisis. Faith isn't required to attend, just an open, questioning mind. It doesn't look like God is going to disappear anytime soon from our news... The next Café Theologique will be on Monday 2nd November

at 7.30pm at Zero Degrees Bar, St Mary’s Butts. David Wilkinson of Durham University, who has doctorates in Astrophysics and Theology, will ask: "How does God answer prayer in a scientific universe?"

Introducing Café Theologique MARK LAYNESMITH Anglican Chaplain

The University of Reading has many departments, but a strange absence is a department of Theology. When the university was founded in 1926, it was decided not to include Theology. Many viewed religion as in the past; God was dead (or at least

on his deathbed) and not worth arguing about. Recent international political events have shown that God still seems to be a live issue. So, is there a space for Theology at Reading? Yes: Café Theologique meets twice a term to examine questions about God, religion, and spirituality. Events are run by the Chaplaincy in town above Zero Degrees bar. The idea is simple:

put a theologian on a bar-stool, give him/her a microphone, an audience, and 30 minutes to justify their ideas. The audience (perhaps sipping a refreshing mango beer brewed on the premises) gets to question, challenge and share their own ideas. Past speakers have looked at brain impairment and the soul; bioethics and 'playing God'; and mindfulness meditation. This term's speakers will look

www.facebook.com/Reading. Cafe.Theologique

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Trident Renewal: sea monster or silent saviour? YASMIN WILD

3rd Year History of Art & English Lit.

Initiated amidst the riots of Thatcher’s government, there have been British submarines skulking amongst the waves of the world’s oceans, armed with nuclear missiles, since 1969. This nuclear deterrent’s existence is so that in the event of British destruction via nuclear strike, there is the retaliation of mutually assured destruction possible. Replacing the Polaris system in the early 1980s, Trident is made up of four submarines, each armed with 16 missiles, which are fitted with several warheads capable of firing upon 12 different locations. This last resort system is reported to have the destruction capability of 8

times that of the first nuclear bomb. The renewal of Trident is seen as politically inevitable. The Conservative government strongly supports the protective system of Trident implemented by their infamous Thatcher, making it a key aspect of the Tory manifesto. However, not all political parties agree with this policy. SNP opposes the idea of Britain playing glorified battleships, commenting that it is a waste of resources as it will not be used. Labour also is conflicted on the issue, for despite having supported the nuclear deterrent previously, newly elected leader Jeremy Corbyn doubts the necessity of the system, claiming if he were ever in power he would never push that big red button, thus rendering

Reading is graced with a SECOND Primark

the system redundant. The idea that the system is pointless is one of the many arguments in opposition to the submarine guard dog for Britain. However, the most prominent reason that it is unpopular is due to cost. The current government estimates it will cost £15-£20bn to renew the nuclear submarines. The state of the country’s economy is already fragile having not fully recovered from the deficit Labour dug the country into, therefore it is thought that such an extensive amount of money should be spent on other priorities. Psychology student Rebecca Samuel agrees with this view: “the government should be investing money into the NHS rather than wasting it on a system that will never be used.” Another key argument

against Trident’s renewal is that the system is in place for a threat that no longer exists. The nuclear deterrent was established during the Cold War period against the threat of the Soviet Union. However, although the system was put in place to defend against a threat that no longer exists, it does not diminish from its defensive abilities in a world where more and more serious threats are surfacing from the deep. These forms of extreme warfare are needed in the world of today. Technology now allows for many countries to begin developing their own nuclear weapons, and it is only a matter of time before they are common places. In 2013, North Korea announced their tests with nuclear weapons. They now own nuclear missiles and, despite not

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having the delivery system, their presence on the scale of warfare is undeniable. In June 2015, Putin announced brashly to the world of the increase of 40 extra missiles to the Russian nuclear arsenal. It is an increase in threats like these which makes the Trident program of paramount importance. The most compromising outcome will be in line with the Liberal Democrats’ view; to renew Trident but to downscale the system. Therefore, the necessary security is in place but it would be more cost effective. It is sad that we live in a world where these systems are necessary, but it doesn’t diminish the fact that they are necessary for national security.

Keeping the existing one open is the plan According to Reading Borough Council, BHS which previously stood in the heart of Reading’s town centre will be replaced with a new Primark; being the second within the well-known hub. The application was for planning permission of the building, advertisement permission for the extension to the second storey and new facades on Broad Street and Minster Street. Reading Borough Council Councillor Tony Page discussed the planning application on 14 October and welcomed the refurbishment on Broad Street stating “The old BHS building was a tired old building.” With a history which goes back to the sixties, Counsellor Isobel

Ballsdon agreed that it simply must go. However, some students have criticized the news looking for more diversity in its choice of stores. Wing Lam Kar, a student at the University of Reading was displeased stating, “What’s the point? We already have one.” It’s unclear whether this will really ‘spice’ up the market. The novel Primark would incorporate the ground flower level kiosk popular for a street bites named Rollover Hot Dogs losing a small business in favour of a large corporation. With both floors used by Primark, this store will the largest within the centre questioning the motives behind keeping the smaller one.

Rainbow over the Shops Photograph by Emma Campbell

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University closes Theatre, Arts, Education, and Deaf Studies Course TAEDS has been officially due to poor student numbers and satisfaction ratings HANNAH CROFTS 3rd Year English Literature

The University of Reading has announced the closure of its only inclusive course for deaf and hearing students. Theatre, Arts, Education and Deaf Studies, commonly known as TAEDS, had been threatened with closure for a while, but there were hopes that it could be saved. However, after intensive discussions, the University of Reading made the final decision to close TAEDS on October 15th. When the closure was proposed to students, both current and former students came together and set up a campaign to save the course, dubbed #saveTAEDS. They also created a petition that gained 1700 signatures in a week, and it was even signed by deaf actress, Sophie Stone, who recently appeared in a leading role on Doctor Who. The students were intent on highlighting the impact that closing TAEDS will have, a course set to celebrate its 30-year anniversary in 2016. There is nowhere else in the world where you can study theatre arts, education and deaf studies together; meaning TAEDS is not just an incredibly unique and important course, but also an internationally unique one. The #saveTAEDS campaign petitioned outside a University Senate meeting, programme who were filmingby the BBC’s See Hear joinedwere they where them and supporting the campaign. The University of Reading highlighted two reasons for closing TAEDS: low student intake and poor student satisfaction. TAEDS only has 31 students across the whole department and only 9 people in the first year. However, TAEDS students argue that there is more to a course then numbers. Third-year Amber-May Ellis says: “Even though there aren’t many of us, it should be about quality not quantity. Why is the University cutting TAEDS and not looking at how they can improve things instead?” Meanwhile, in the National Student Survey, only

20% agreed with the statement: ‘Overall, I am satisfied with the quality of the course’. While 0% agreed with the statement: ‘The course is well organised and is running smoothly’. These are shockingly low satisfaction ratings, and amount to the lowest student satisfaction ratings for a course at the whole of the University. However, the University of Reading’s Education Officer, Niall Hamilton, says: “It’s a disgrace the University would rather shut down a programme because it is under performing in student satisfaction rather than work with students to increase the satisfaction.” Students rushed to highlight how important TAEDS is and how much they have benefitted from the course, but said they wish the way the course is delivered and run is improved. George Fellows sums this up when he says: “at no point did anyone want TAEDS to close, all we wanted was positive change.”

While the NSS results may be poor, the course has a 95% employment rate after graduation, with many students going on to make meaningful impacts in the world. One company, Handprint Theatre, which was set up by 3 TAEDS graduates and takes accessible educational drama workshops into schools, said they are, ‘shocked and saddened with the news as Handprint would not exist without the course.’ The University of Reading says they are considering creating a new BA Education that will incorporate aspects of deaf studies and also focus on other special educational needs. However, this completely removes students’ opportunity to learn about deaf studies in a non-educational route. As TAEDS prepares students for careers in professions other than education, such as sign language interpreters, audiologists, and speech pathologists. By closing TAEDS, the university takes away students’ abilities to gain the tools

and knowledge that prepare them for entering deaf-related vocations such as these. Something which is even more impacting when you consider how there are already shortages in many deaf-related vocations, such as a current significant shortage of BSL interpreters in the UK. In the UK, there are only two other places you can study deaf studies at university level, however, neither offers a programme of study like TAEDS. This is not the first time deaf studies in higher education has come under threat, the University of Bristol’s Centre for Deaf Studies, a leader in the discipline, closed down in 2013. Student satisfaction ratings for TAEDS might be low but that is why surveys like the National Student Survey are so important. By showing what students are not satisfied with University departments can see where they need to improve, and by talking to students they can work with them to establish how improvements

could be implemented and positive, progressive, changes made. The University of Reading had the opportunity to take an important course, turn it around and make it better, ensuring that it not only survived but that it thrived, but instead they chose to close it. As James Rowe commented on the petition: "Niche University courses tend to attract students that eventually go on to change the world. They aren't sheep, choosing run of the mill, over subscribed, traditional courses. They're creative thinkers, dreamers, and boy does the world need those people!" Sophie Mendham, course representative and creator of the 1700 strong petition, hoped the University would be able to see how important TAEDS is, not just to students but also to the wider deaf community. Unfortunately, their voices went unheard and this year’s intake of TAEDS will be the last.

Courtesy of TAEDS Twitter

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Society Spotlight: RUMUN – Reading University Model United Nations Society RICHARD HYDES

3rd Year Politics and International Relations

Reading’s Model United Nations (MUN) Society is one of the most successful and formidable societies both within Reading’s student community and in the British MUN community. It has won multiple “Best Society” and “Rewards and Recognition” awards from RUSU, as well as 126 individual and 8 delegation awards across 36 national and international conference visits since our society’s founding in 2010, including trips to New York, Moscow, Munich, and Prague. So now you have an idea of

our credentials, you’re probably wondering: What exactly is MUN? MUN essentially does what it says on the tin – we Model the United Nations. Our society hosts weekly sessions where we simulate UN-style debates on topics regarding current affairs and international politics. For example, our first debate this year concerned tackling the current Syrian refugee crisis. Each member plays the role of a diplomat from a country of their choosing, and must discuss, debate and lobby other members to promote their own country’s position. The final product of each debate is a ‘resolution’ – a formal

document containing the opinions and proposed actions of the UN committee – and the contents of this document are a measure of the relative success of each participant. As niche as MUN may sound from such a description, the RUMUN society has proven to have a broad appeal across the university. It is not simply comprised of Politics and International Relations students, but students of languages, Law, Chemistry, Geography, Computer Science, and everything in between. So if you have even a passing interest in what is going on in the world around you, MUN could be the society for you.

Part of this appeal also stems from what MUN can do for you as an individual. Taking part in Model UN opens up a whole world of opportunities for both networking with other students and professionals from across the globe, and development of informal skills such as public speaking. Public speaking can be incredibly daunting, especially for members with English as a second language; yet within just weeks of attending, even our initially timid members are giving rousing speeches and improvising counter-arguments along with the best of us. If you are interested in joining MUN contact us at readingmun@

gmail.com or join us at www. facebook.com/groups/rumun. You can treat your first session as a taster to get a better idea of what we do, then after that there is a £15 membership fee for the year. This membership fee will give you access to massively subsidised conferences, including both our own ReadiMUN conference coming up from November 27th-29th, our international conference trip to Germany later in the academic year, and many other national conference trips throughout the year.

Winter is coming HANNAH CROFTS Weather Reporter

Berwick swans migrating to the UK traditionally marks the start of winter. This year, the swans have migrated early following the premature arrival of winter in parts of Russia and Eastern Europe. Because of this - the earliest recorded arrival in 50 years - it has added to speculation that we are set for a long and bitter winter.

In addition, over the night of October 13th, snow fell over parts of Germany, further suggesting that a cold and snowy winter could also be heading our way. At the moment though, temperatures are set to remain mild, with daytime highs of 18C and lows of 13C. Throughout the rest of October, there is going to be little rain. Instead, it will be mostly overcast or cloudy. As

the nights get darker, it will begin to feel more like winter, however, the winter chill won’t draw in properly until around mid-November. This means that, while I advise that you wrap up in plenty of knitwear, there is no need to go completely overboard as it’ll only be mild during the remainder of the month. As always, early mornings are going to be a struggle, with a chilly theme continuing throughout the rest of the term. Anyone who has a 9am lecture should ensure they keep themselves warm, especially if they have to trek to the Agriculture building. Sunrise will be getting later, so expect any early morning walks to lectures to be somewhat dark and dismal. There will be lots of interesting wildlife about though; the chances are you may see some squirrels scurrying about burying their nuts before they hibernate. Will it snow? As you’ve probably seen, the tabloids have been announcing that it is going to be a very cold and snowy winter. However, it is important to remember that

Winter scene in Reading Photograph by Beatrice Ridge

they do this every year without hesitation, and often no snow actually materializes. There is no way to predict if this year will be a white winter as you can’t predict the exact weather months ahead, but if there is any snow it won’t be until

well after October and probably not even until December at the earliest. To pass the time, these are some signs you can look out for that show winter is coming: arguments about putting the heating on, Christmas songs

playing pre-maturely on the radio, your Nan knitting you a scarf, and misty, foggy weather drawing in.

NEWS|GENERAL NEWS

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Is modern student life the cause of a higher demand for wellbeing services? The stigma of lazy, sluggish student days is fast diminishing

Courtesy of Reccs

ERIN PEACOCK

2nd Year English Literature with Creative Writing

The move to university can be extremely daunting and stressful for many students, but beyond common worries about homesickness, relationships and newfound independency, research has found vast increases in students who are seeking help for stress, anxiety and depression. Currently, there is an annual increase of 10% in the need for counselling for students in higher education, according to Universities UK’s Mental Wellbeing Working Group (MWBHE). This has brought

about the important question; are universities providing enough support for mental health services? At least 115,000 students around the UK seek help from their university’s wellbeing services, which on average is between 5-10% of the country’s student population. There has been a call for UK universities to accept their pastoral responsibilities and admit the extent of the problem they face. One campus has recently seen an annual rise of over 50% in demand for counselling – these are shocking figures that need to be acknowledged. Head of student wellbeing at

the University of Reading, Alicia Pena Bizama, states that students feel more pressure now than ever before. Problems can arise from loneliness, relationships, worries about debt, failing expectations and fears about a lack of job prospects. She suggests students have to deal with far more now than ever before and this is taking its toll, leaving many students vulnerable and in need of pastoral relief. Marina Della Giusta has been monitoring students’ wellbeing here at the university and believes: "The factors that really drive it are financial stress; university education has become more expensive. And job

prospects are more uncertain, so they're not sure whether it's going to pay off." She also suggests that universities nationwide are beginning to lose the common “sink or swim” attitude of the past, where if a student is struggling, they will be isolated and ignored until they may make the decision to leave higher education altogether. There is more help available now and therefore universities are not turning out students in their final year with impressive grades, but who are unhappy and will therefore suffer in their new places of work. With the constant pressure

to achieve high grades whilst maintaining an active social life, many students find themselves in need of help and advice. It is important to remember that there are places around campus you can go to seek support - most notably is Student Wellbeing in room 106 on the first floor of the Carrington Building. There are also free talks all year round ranging in subject, from managing academic pressure to understanding stress. The stereotype of student life simply involving lazing around all day is being increasingly knocked down and at the University of Reading there is always help available if you feel you may need it.

10 Fun Facts 1. There is a post box in Japan which is 10 metres under water. 2. In the Bahamas there is an island where wild pigs swim around in the sea.

6. A sheep, duck and rooster were the first passengers of a hot air balloon. 7. Apparently the Dalai Lama really loves Berkshire.

3. In Talkeetna, Alaska, a cat named Stubbs is the mayor.

8. In Japanese, karaoke means empty orchestra.

4. If you eat too many carrots you really do turn orange.

9. Aglets are the name of the plastic things on the end of shoe laces.

5. Anatidaephobia - the fear that somewhere a duck is watching you.

10. Chewing gum is illegal to chew and own in Singapore.

GENERAL NEWS

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Sunny or Not, Winter Will Come Weather/Winter warning with tips for beating the chill LEWIS ROACH 2nd Year English Literature

‘El Nino’ is an upwelling of water which is hotter than normal in the equatorial pacific, roughly between Peru and the north coast of Australia. Despite its distance from the UK, this phenomenon is known to effect climate patterns worldwide. The most common interpretation for the UK is a

colder and later winter, and we certainly started October with sunshine and green fields. But don’t freak out, as the effects of El Nino are not so certain. For example, the 2006/7 winter was an El Nino winter but only a relatively mild one. There is also news of animals, from bears to bugs, vigorously gathering more food than in previous years. They can perceive nature better than humans in many cases, and this could be a sign of the harsh cold days ahead. 2015 is set to be the warmest year overall since records began, so perhaps things will not be so bad. However, that might mean some of us aren’t thinking about what to do when winter does inevitably arrive. It is important to be prepared for these things, so here are a few interesting tips to help you keep warm and safe: 1. Have warm clothes ready, preventing last minute scrambling or spending a cold day in a white

shirt because you have nothing else (I saw that happen last year…). 2. It is okay to wear layers indoors. If you are cold, keep your coat on. In particular, don’t be afraid to keep your hat on inside, as your head is one of the places where most of your body heat is lost. 3. Physical activity gets blood pumping and warms you up. This does not mean full-on athletics, but when walking between

lectures, keep your pace up or walk and talk with friends. Don’t stand around freezing and don’t slow down trying to hug in the warmth. 4. Alcohol makes you feel warm because it draws heat from your core to your skin and out in to the air, which actually means you lose heat faster! Don’t be fooled, and be extra careful walking through the cold after a night out. 5. The drop in temperature increases your chance of illness as your body is not used to it, so at this time, have medicine ready - perhaps a Lemsip for colds and consider how you feel more carefully. It’s better to catch an illness early and cut it off than leave it and have work to catch up on when you get better. 6. Half a cup of rice in a sock microwaved for 2-3 minutes makes an excellent heating pad! Be safe everyone!

|NEWS

Graduates are being let down by our government, CIPD statistics show

The recent revelation reveals that the majority of graduates are in jobs deemed ‘non-graduate roles’ ZOE OSMAN

1st Year English Literature

It is an undisputed fact that young people feel ignored. There has always been a common feeling that those within the 18-24 age bracket are the ones left to fend for themselves, and it appears that the government is not doing enough to revoke this idea. It is unsurprising after George Osborne recently announced that within the Conservative budget, maintenance grants for students starting University in the next year would be scrapped. But even more recently, it has been revealed by the Chartered Institute of Personal Development (CIPD) that most University graduates are not employed in graduate jobs. This is concerning for several reasons, not least because graduates deserve support and guidance to achieve their ambitions post-university, but because it reinforces the idea that a degree is worth less than what it should be. In response to this, the Vice President of the National Union of Students (NUS) said: “The government should be doing more to create effective graduate employment schemes that fully utilise the country’s talent.” In other words, paying a substantial amount of money to be able to receive a university education should, in the end, hopefully result in a degreequalifying job. On the contrary, the NUS put forward the statistic that 58.8% of graduates are in

jobs that are described as “nongraduate roles.” With the number of graduates rising due to more and more young people attending university, the need for highlyskilled jobs has never been greater, and the CIPD predict that “negative consequences” are likely to follow, including employers necessitating degrees for non-graduate roles despite no change in the skill requirements. The cynicism towards degrees being worth actually very little in the real world would seem to ring increasingly true if graduates are being offered jobs without the requirement of one. The Department for Business, Innovation and Skills said: “We are providing the right mix of university places and apprenticeships to ensure people

have the opportunity to advance their careers and businesses to grow”, yet the CIPD contradicts this by showing that the number of graduates have now surpassed the number of highly-skilled jobs offered. It seems to therefore be the case that the talent of graduates is being ignored, instead of nurtured through appropriate job opportunities which the government should be taking care to provide. As a country, we are emerging from a recession, and still are facing the remnants of an economic downturn which we are in danger of falling back into if the government does not seek to provide advice, guidance, and, most importantly, enough skilled job opportunities for graduates.

Courtesy of JenSchottKnudsen

CAMPUS NEWS

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|NEWS

My Experience Volunteering with a Local Charity

VIMBAI MUTIMUTEMA 3rd Year Law

to provide vulnerable children in Zimbabwe with the opportunity to go to school. Working as an events and fundraising co-ordinator for the charity and seeing how I add to the success of the charity has pushed me to be creative in my role. Through carrying out such meaningful work, the satisfaction I feel with every target I meet as part of the team has made volunteering less about myself and building a CV and more about helping those in need.

At the beginning of my university journey, the thought of doing volunteering work did not sound attractive, and the idea of volunteering for the sake of my CV sounded like a burden. But much to my surprise, ever since I started volunteering for Creating Better Futures I would strongly recommend volunteering. These are the three things I learnt Volunteering is empowering throughout my volunteering The Creating Better Futures’ cojourney: founder is a University of Reading Be CV-oriented. alumni whose sponsorship to It is no secret that the competition study at the university inspired a to finding a job is harder than genuine passion to create similar ever before. As students, we are opportunities for other children. advised to do anything that will From the beginning the goal and give us the competitive advantage spirit behind the charity is very when job hunting, which clear and sincere. The product usually points us to considering we work towards as a team is not volunteering. Approaching something tangible. The product volunteering with this attitude is hope and smiles on children’s may be making students blind to faces. It is love and opportunity to other fun aspects of volunteering have a platform to build a future. that can lessen the pressure to do it purely to gain skills for a So whether it is volunteering to CV. Creating Better Futures, one put posters around the university, of RAG’s chosen charities, is a posting on social media, designing Reading-based charity, that works leaflets and charity merchandise or

Vimbai helping to organise a Charity Jazz Night and Emmanuel Nwamadi, from The Voice UK, was our special guest!

organising fundraising events, it is very easy to see the lasting impact of the various volunteering roles. So far, as a result, 135 children are going to school and receiving welfare support. That’s 135 futures we have rewritten with a message of hope! This leads to my final point.

overlook and consider smaller, local charities. It may be better to gain work experience with a renowned organisation but there is so much to learn and experience to be gained with a smaller organisation. During my time volunteering for Creating Better Futures, in addition to professional skills I may have gained at a large Dynamite does come in small organisation, I have gained insight packages! into how a small business is run It is easy to be drawn to larger – from what goes into developing and better-known organisations marketing and fundraising when thinking of volunteering. strategies to handling aspects of But be very careful not to

Students fight for lives on the line

human resources. As it is a small organisation, there is room for growth in most of the roles as the charity expands, and much guidance and advice to be given directly from the CEO! Creating Better Futures has lots of volunteering opportunities for university students. They provide both one-off and long term opportunities. If you are interested in volunteering for Creating Better Futures, please email your CV to volunteer@creatingbetterfutures. org.uk.

Looking towards helping those on death row in the US JOSIE O'BOYLE 3rd Year Law

The death penalty to many is a far thought from the usual bustle of seminars and lecturers, especially in England, where the death penalty has been outlawed since 1969. However, this past weekend a group of law students from the University of Reading took to London to attend 'death penalty training' hosted by Amicus ALJ, a charity which sends around 30 interns a year to America. These interns become vital resources aiding overworked lawyers who would otherwise be left grossly ill equipped to handle a capital case. The training consisted of lectures: key speeches from two former death row inmates and workshops; all designed to train these students

to travel to America and aid the defence of various capital cases. In fact, Amicus sends interns who have completed this training to one of the 31 states, mostly situated in the south, that still practice the death penalty. When listening to one of the former interns speak many of the students were astounded at the reported racism, ignorance and prejudice that is still very much alive when convicting a man or woman to death, many of whom are poor, a minority and often disabled. A former intern described it as the "event of her life." Another reported that the experience made her feel "whole" and despite it already helping her achieve a pupillage, she was undertaking another internship because she felt the work itself was so vital and empowering.

representatives, Ian Amicus will now be hosting to support the charity. For more student a series of events throughout information please contact the Stevens and Josie O’Boyle. the year including socials, a film screening and a death penalty debate. Similarly, the university will also be sending students to Amicus’s bi-yearly training sessions in London, for those who wish to learn more about the death penalty or wish to undertake an internship in the United States. If you are interested in Amicus, the death penalty or human rights please join the Facebook page Amicus ALJ at the University of Reading and learn all about the events and training opportunities the student representatives will be advertising on behalf of Amicus. Similarly, if you would like to get involved we are looking for student volunteers to assist with organising events back here at The team of third year law students representing Reading at Amicus Reading in order to raise finances training

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ITSU FOOD Jackie Tan writes all about her experience eating at itsu in Reading and speaks to the manager!

FEELING HOMESICK? Beatrice gives advice on settling in at university and making it as homely as possible

AUTUMN FASHION Laura Harcourt gives us the scoop on popular lip colours and shades this Autumn

THINKING OF DOING A YEAR ABROAD? Caitlin McClinchy gives us helpful advice on this big decision

LIFESTYLE Decorating your University Bedroom

HANNAH FRANKLIN

3rd Year English Literature

Freshers’ Week has come and gone and university is beginning to feel a little more like home, but sometimes your university bedroom can still seem a like alien space that is not quite your own. If you’re in your third or second year, you’ve probably moved

into new accommodation, so it’s time to decorate. Personalising your room is the best and easiest way to make it feel more homely and unique to you. Getting to have your own private space at university gives you the perfect opportunity to make it exactly how you want it to be. One of the simplest things you can do is fill up your space with a few familiar things from home.

If you don’t already have some with you, you can easily grab them on your next visit. Having knickknacks like books, posters, trinkets and other familiar objects from home can make your room feel much more welcoming and also fill up any empty space you might have. Along that line, bringing photographs to prop up on your shelves instantly makes your

room feel more like home and you can brighten up your space by picking out fancy new photo frames to show them off. If you want to get more inventive, try getting a stretch of string or ribbon and some mini pegs to hang across the wall or ceiling to attach your photos to. You can even send off for Polaroid style print outs of your photos to be made from companies like Photobox. Most

university rooms also come with a corkboard so you can make the most of that space by creating a photo wall, combining pictures from home with all the new pictures to come from university. Stringing up some fairy lights will also really brighten up your room and warm yellow lights are certain to create a cosy atmosphere. Try winding them around your bed head, mirrors

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|LIFESTYL

Feeling homesick? Get rid of it quick! BEATRICE NUGENT 1st Year English literature

Whether you are just starting out as a first year or going into your final year, homesickness hits us all at some stage. For me, homesickness started to kick in a couple of days ago, around about the same time the famous ‘Freshers Flu’ got a hold of me! So, if you are suffering or have suffered with homesickness, don’t fret; my top tips to tackling homesickness should get you on the path to feeling much, much better!

Tip 1: PIZZA IS BAE Okay, so I do realise that pizza may not be your go-to comfort food, but it certainly is mine! Nevertheless, whatever you love, whether it’s chocolate, curry, chips or even a cheeky Nando’s, if you feel homesick, treat yourself! Have something that you love and I guarantee it will make you feel instantly a bit better. But, of course, enjoy in moderation! Tip 2: TALK IT OUT Like I said before, I’m sure that the majority of people in your accommodation are missing things about home. Even if it’s

just that they miss looking at their pet goldfish every evening or the way their mum cooks the roast potatoes, talk about it! Everybody is in the same boat, and talking to each other about what you miss is not only a great way to deal with homesickness, but also a great way to bond with your peers. Tip 3: SET THE SCENE If you’re like me and are in halls, you’re a bit limited in terms of making things feel like home, but do what you can! Put up pictures, posters, certificates, letters everywhere and anywhere - it’s nice to be reminded of home and

Pardon My French

TJ HIEW 3rd Year Law

When it comes to languages, I feel lucky about two things: 1. I am effectively trilingual (i.e. I can think in Chinese, English or Malay), and 2. I am in a university that allows us to take a language module as part of our course, or as a non-credited module to spice up our university life. I only decided to take up a new language during my second year as I was not very familiar with the system and hence followed the crowd of taking Research

and Writing Skills despite huge encouragements from our Legal Skills lecturer during my fist year. The initial plan was to take Japanese, but there was a timetable clash. I turned to Italian; the same thing happened. In the end I was left with two choices: Russian and French. Russian was a very good option - getting to read and write in Cyrillic script sounded really cool. However, I was not sure whether I could pick it up quickly. As for French, other than being a highly popular European language, it has been widelyknown as a language associated with beauty, romance, and art.

And that was how I started my journey with French. Maintenant, vous savez que français et moi avons longue histoire (Now, you know that there’s a long story between French and me)! I started off from nil. But class after class, I started to not just learn and enjoy the language, but also understand certain things I had come across over the years. For example, if you read the Harry Potter series, you will realise that Fleur Delacour calls Harry “’Arry” because in French, “H” is silent. It has also given me a new perspective towards languages. I went through three public exams in school. I am proud to say that in every single one of them, I managed to get As in all three languages. You may think that with experience of learning three entirely different languages, starting another language should not be a problem for me. Well, oui et non. Yes, because I know how different grammar can be in different languages. No, because I am learning French as a foreign language, which meant that the process of learning is different from learning all the other three that I use in my everyday life. I know how difficult it can be when one learns English as a foreign language, but learning French made me realise that it is much tougher than I thought. I had seen a spectrum of attitudes towards languages: one side of the extreme being the highest form of envy by people who are completely monolingual

your loved ones with pictures. Tip 4: ROUTINE Another important thing is to get into a routine. I don’t know about you, but I tend to feel miserable and down when I have no plans and waste my day moping around. So, set your alarm well in time for lectures, head down to the gym, meet your lecture buddies for the pub quiz, cook a flat meal – whatever you do, being organised and keeping busy is the absolute key to feeling motivated, optimistic and less homesick. Tip 5: DO WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU

It is important to remember and respect that everybody is different. Homesickness affects students in different ways and measures, so follow your gut on what you think will help you. If Face-Timing your family and friends does the trick, then call them. If writing a diary works for you, do that. If you really want to go home for the weekend, then do it. University is a marvellous experience and journey, so don’t let homesickness take the toll and get in control!

towards those who can speak even just one extra language. During my first year, there was a time where I was talking to two flatmates of two different nationalities, and one of them was having slight difficulties with English, and so I switched languages from English and Chinese like a pendulum. The other flatmate looked surprised and asked me: “You can just switch languages like that?” This was something I never questioned myself because using two or sometimes three languages at a time has been such a norm to me. In the same time, I had met people that told me they learnt other languages such as Italian and German back in school and yet they consider themselves as monolingual. I could not understand why at first. But over time I realised that when a language is not part of your everyday environment, it is always more difficult to master. The middle path would be sitting on the fence as to whether to take a language that is entirely new. Whether you are mono- or multilingual, it does seem a bit scary as you have no idea if you will be able to cope with the pace. However, I would say that you should not have any fears as you are not alone. Most people that I met during my Level One French started from zero as well. With guidance from lecturers and some self-study, you will still be able to excel! The other side of the spectrum would be people who refuse to

learn a language just to make their life “easier” for them. You may laugh but these people seriously exist in the world. I knew someone who said that she’d rather “not know her mother tongue” and the reason was obviously to give others the impression that she grew up in the West and appears more Westernised. I believe, had she really been to and lived in the West, she will regret this statement. I had met people who decided to drop their mother tongue subject right before the final hurdle of school life after learning the language for seven years, just to “increase the chances of getting straight As”. I understand such a mentality as it is via academic results that I was accepted by the University of Reading. But think about it: is that really the purpose of education? Coming from a multilingual society and living in a monolingual one, I have come to realise just how many multilingual people take things for granted and do not appreciate the advantages of knowing, and even the ability to think, in more than one language when people who are entirely monolingual cannot stop feeling envious. Even I sometimes nearly fell into the trap. The comparison is just as cynical as a table of unfinished food and poor people starving in the streets. We can all expect that this is human nature: we are only able to appreciate what we lack.

LIFESTYLE| CULTURE or shelves. If you don’t have any already, there are lots of pretty and (more importantly for students) cheap fairy lights available online. Many are of them are batterypowered so you can put them pretty much anywhere in your room. Bringing extra cushions and pillows is also a great way to make a comfy nook on your bed or even in one of the corners of your room – this is especially helpful for students who have a lot of reading to get through. Particularly when you’re in halls, your bed will be like your sofa, so piling up on cushions and throws will allow you to make a mock sofa space, perfect for movie nights and catch-ups. If stretches of sensible magnolia coloured walls are getting you down then try sticking up some posters, hangings or a colourful tapestry. The RISC World Shop by the Global Café on London Street in town has a huge selection of tapestries, wall hangings, and wind chimes to brighten up empty wall space. You can also find picture-hanging strips that don’t leave marks on walls if you’re not allowed to use blue tack or pins. There are plenty of posters and

prints available cheaply online as well. Don’t stop at the walls either, roll out a big rug on your floor to cover up bland or scratchy carpets and add some colour. If you’ve got any space still left to fill then try adding a houseplant to your room. Plants are not only good for decoration but also good for your health; the air will be cleaner which should help you concentrate - this is definitely helpful when you get towards deadlines. The best varieties to try are leafy spider plants, aloe veras and Chinese evergreen plants. If you want to get really fancy, you could invest in a terrarium for some added modern style. You can even impress your parents with your ability to keep a houseplant alive for your entire time at university. So, keep your eyes peeled for bargain cushions and hangings, steal some blankets from home (especially helpful for when you’re tying to avoid mammoth heating bills) and have a nose in some charity shops in case there are any special gems in there. Make your room personal and it will become a much more beneficial and welcoming space for you.

Tapestry from RISC World Shop

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Surviving Freshers’ Flu

HANNAH FRANKLIN

3rd Year English Literature

You’re lying in bed with a banging headache, a throat that feels like you’ve been gargling glass, a boiling hot temperature yet you’re still shivering under a mountain of blankets. You can’t think of anything worse than the looming morning lecture you still need to drag yourself and your hacking cough out of bed for. Sounds a lot like the dreaded Freshers’ Flu. Though not technically flu, almost all first year students will contract some form of Freshers’ Flu during the first few weeks of term. It involves a combination of common coldlike symptoms: coughs, shivers, feverish feelings, sore throats and headaches; Freshers’ flu is most likely developed through the influx of new people, a new environment, stress and poor diet which is part and parcel when you start university. It could also have something to do with the one too many Jägerbombs last night (and the night before that…). Luckily, if you’ve succumbed to this delightful concoction of symptoms there are some simple tips you can follow to bring yourself back to full health. First and foremost, getting plenty of rest is key. Going out again with your friends, even though you’ve got a nine o’clock lecture waiting for you in the morning might not seem like a bad idea at the time, but when you’re downing coffee and struggling to prop your eyes

open you might well regret it. Lack of sleep will only make your symptoms worse so taking a few nights off, especially before a morning lecture, is definitely a good idea, and getting into a bit more of a regular routine will likely help your body get itself back into top form. Drinking plenty of water is also essential for beating away Freshers’ Flu; not only will it alleviate your headaches but it will also give you a helping hand in beating away other infections. Keeping a big bottle of water with you at all times is an easy way to remind yourself to keep drinking and even drinking a glass of water before you go to bed after a night out can also help reduce your headache in the morning. Try to avoid chugging back pints at a time though and instead aim for sipping a little and often throughout the day. On that hydration note, drinks such as hot water with lemon and/or honey can soothe sore and aching throats while also adding to your daily hydration needs. Green tea and hot milk and honey are also great ways to ease throat pain. If none of those drinks catch your fancy then a basic salt gargle can also work wonders – simply mix half a teaspoon of salt with some warm water and gargle once or twice a day. If your throat’s really giving you trouble, then lozenges like Strepsils can soothe, as well as Tyrozets which contain antibacterial and anaesthetic ingredients to fight infections and ease pain. Other medicines like cough syrups and cold and flu

congestions pills can also be very helpful. For blocked up sinuses, the steam from hot baths or (more likely in halls) showers can really help and you can also try leaning over a bowl of hot water to re-open stuffy sinuses. The old reliable paracetamol will also help to ease those pesky symptoms and general good hygiene is also vital. Another important factor that’s easy to forget in the whirlwind of starting university is eating lots of nourishing food. One too many late night McDonald’s trips alongside easy but unhelpful microwave meals will leave you feeling a little deflated. Pass off those frozen meals in favour of some heartier cooking full of protein, vitamins and ample fruits and vegetables. Try looking up some recipes for your home favourites and adding extra portions of healthy vegetables to your dinners to give your immune system a helping hand. Let this little step in the foray of ill-health be a reminder to sign up with the university medical practice if you haven’t yet, so that if you ever become more ill in the future you’re already prepared. As bad as Freshers’ Flu can feel when you’re in its grips (cue lecturers being drowned out by coughing students for the first week of term) it’ll pass soon enough. Considering that most new students will develop it in some form or another, it can be quite hard to avoid but following these tips and giving yourself some general TLC will soon get you on your way.

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Students Grab bargains at the Oracle's student lock in ZOE HOUGHTON 3rd Year English Language

Models entice shoppers to Hollister

On Tuesday 6th October, hundreds of students queued in the pouring rain to attend The Oracle’s bi-annual Student Sessions. The Oracle Shopping Centre opened its doors after hours and invited students to grab a haul of bargains from a variety of outlets. Students were offered exclusive discounts across a range of fashion and beauty, entertainment, and footwear stores, including: 20% off in H&M, Topshop, New Look, Harper & Lewis and Superdry; 10% off in Game and HMV; and 20% off in Office and Dune. The evening’s brilliant offers were not exclusive to The Oracle’s shops. With over 20 stores participating in the event, students were bound to work up an appetite; therefore restaurants were also offering large discounts: Ed’s Easy Diner

offered up to 20% off and handed out tasters of their milkshakes; Pizza Hut offered 40% off; and Mission Burrito offered 50% off, to name a few. For dessert, students could opt to buy a Double Dozen of Krispy Kremes for only £12, or they could buy 6 cookies from Millie’s Cookies and receive another 6 for free. As well as these offers, there were many freebies available for those who had already spent all of their student loan. From Electric Hair hairstyling to Lola Lo goodie bags, and Hotel Chocolat tasters to lucky dip entries with every Boots card sign-up, there was plenty to take advantage of. Using the hashtag #TheOracleStudentSessions, students could also enter various social media giveaways, including free perfume, meals, and a supermarket sweep. One lucky winner had 2 minutes to grab everything she possibly could in Topshop, whilst others

received a year’s supply of burgers from Handmade Burger Co. and a £50 Ed’s Easy Diner voucher. With a lot to see and do, it was difficult to know where to start. We decided to start with the topless male Hollister models who were lingering outside the store as a method of drawing in the customers and boy, did it work. We then worked our way through each of the discounted stores. Towards the end of the evening, we were impressed by a group using the recently added ‘come and play’ instrument wall downstairs in The Oracle to play a mash-up of Play That Funky Music and Uptown Funk in a flash-mob style performance. As a low-cost evening enjoyed by all, I would recommend attending the next Oracle Student Sessions in May 2016, for a night of freebies, discounts and special offers.

Funny Freshers from a Foreigner. MORGANE GLAIN 2nd Year English lit and Film

In the UK, fresher’s week is supposed to be the best week of your life. This is what most people tell you before you come to university. I had no idea what it was before I came to England, because I’m from France where there is no such thing as ‘fresher’s week’. Some departments have a fresher’s weekend, however I was still excited to see what it was. I was also a bit nervous because partying in England is far different from France. Now, after one year of studying in England, I have to say I prefer it here! In France the halls of residence aren’t as social as English ones. Usually you don’t go to a new city; all of my friends still live at home. Sometimes it can be difficult to explain to them how it works here and how you socialise

because they don’t experience the same things. Moreover, the main difference is that you don’t have requirements to be accepted in a French university, as long as you have your baccalaureate (A levels) and it is free. In my opinion it is good that it’s free, but at the same time, because you don’t pay for it, it doesn’t make you want to work as hard as you should, as a result students drop out easily. Weirdly, in French universities they don’t have socials. In my experience, it makes it harder for people to make friends. I think French universities are mainly places to study and learn, whereas English ones are a place to socialise, grow up, make some friends and learn. Since moving into Wantage Hall, I was shocked to find out the hard way about the tradition of running naked around the quad at midnight the day of arrival. The event has mainly boys participating but girls do as well,

tending to keep their underwear on. From my ground floor room, all I could see were boys running around naked, and one trooper trying to run around the quad with his crutches. Only a few hours later the first fire alarm went off, it was 4 in the morning and I thought I was dreaming and stayed in my bed for a good five minutes before realising it was an actual fire alarm. I left the South of France and its 30 degrees, so for me it was absolutely freezing even though it was only September; it was the start of a love story with the unpredictable English weather. Fresher’s is all about having an upset tummy due to copious amounts of alcohol and junk food, but it is even worse when you are French and catered. I’m used to having a three course meal at every meal. At the school’s canteen I used to have a starter, usually a salad, and then a main

meal with vegetables and meat or fish, after that you’d have your cheese with bread and then your dessert which would be yoghurt, fruit or a pudding. But here the lunch consists of a sandwich and dinner is just a main meal, there’s no salad or dessert, or if I want to I have to pay for it, and £60 a week doesn’t cover this for every meal. The worst part of it all is that there’s no cheese. During fresher’s you spend so much money, but imagine when it’s not your currency! Life would be easier if £1 was 1€, but it’s not. If I ever ask my parents for money they have to send me 130€ in order for me to get £100. If I got a pound for the number of times my card got declined during my first year I’d actually be rich. The worst is when you are at the counter and you try to figure out which coin is the 50p one, or which one is the 5p while there is a big queue forming behind you. I also had to open an

English bank account if I wanted to have a phone number, a gym membership or a job, so many things to sort, which can be a bit stressful to cope with when you first arrive, but by the end of October you know how things work. Apart from that, freshers’ week is so much fun. It is also the week, if you’re catered, where you try to look for friends to eat with in the dining hall. You get to meet people from your hall who might become your closest friends (because you spend all your time with them) and make memories. You’ll make some mistakes but you also try to adjust to a new life and newfound freedom. I had a really good time even if I didn’t meet all of my friends that week, because it’s only two weeks after all, and there are plenty of other opportunities to have a great time at university.

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Itsu: Fresh and Student-Friendly JACKIE TAN

2nd Year Business and Management

Since launching on August 28th, far-eastern inspired foodchain Itsu, founded by Julian Metcalfe, co-owner of Pret-AManger, has already outshone its closest competitors on the local high street for fast, fresh and filling food. With a menu that’s as vibrant as our childhood colouring books, you’ll no doubt find something you’ll want to try from Itsu’s fantastic range of dishes, from hot noodle soups to classic sushi boxes that are prepared fresh every day! To find out more, I sat down with Itsu Reading’s Manager Fernando for a few questions. So, Fernando, tell me a little bit about yourself. Well, I am Spanish and have been in this country for 12 years now. I started working straight away for Pret-A-Manger as team member and worked my way up to manager. After 11 years, I decided it was time for a change. Then, Itsu approached me and I have now opened up a few chains with the company. How long have you been involved in food? I have been working in food for 12 years as with Pret and this company but have always been in the hospitality industry. I love food and enjoy trying lots of different types of food. What do you like most about Itsu? I love the people I work with the team is really what makes Itsu a great place to work and why I have stayed as manager here. I have at the moment six or seven branches which all are different. I have worked alongside the team and prepared some sushi which helps me to understand their jobs better; I want to help them develop during their time at Itsu. Because of your Spanish background, what drew you to Itsu, a far-eastern inspired food chain? Well after 11 years with Pret-A-Manger, I wanted to do something more than sandwiches. I really love the core values of the company, maybe even more than the food itself! We serve fresh food and quality sushi for the prices of £6 or £7, but what I really like is that I can say “Yes”

when a customer asks me whether the fish really is fresh! What are your top three dishes from Itsu’s breakfast, lunch and dinner menu? For breakfast, I love the Eggs Benedict - it’s really the winning dish. For lunch, Chicken Teriyaki is a good one, and for dinner Crab Maki. I like a light dinner so that is perfect. Is there one best-selling dish here in Reading? For sure, it would have to be the Omega-3 box and Best of Itsu. Then for rice, we have the Chicken On-A-Bed; that is a really popular dish and we sell 80 to 90 a day. What is your perspective on Itsu’s ‘eat beautiful’ concept? I think the produce we have is fresh. The food is good quality,

we receive fish on a daily basis and we make sure we to carry out daily quality control checks to meet our company’s standards; on occasion we do have to reject salmon and rice sometimes as we expect everything to be top level. How long does it take to freshly prepare the food every day? Here, the team starts at around 6am and prepares till 11am, but we carry out a midday check to see what we have; we then repeat the process to prepare for the afternoon or early evening rush. Do you think Itsu has already been a success in Reading? Yes, I believe so. We are on a great corner location with a winning view from upstairs. We are performing much better than expected and breakfast has been popular considering it is brand

new to the company. To be honest, it has been quite welcoming compared to our recently opened Cambridge branch, so it makes me feel good knowing the people of Reading are liking Itsu. What makes Itsu ethically distinct from other far-eastern inspired restaurants and foodchains? At the moment, I have been interviewing for a new branch that is opening in Bicester Village and we do receive a lot of applications from people who have worked for other popular sushi chains. I think they come to us because we pay a very good hourly wage on top of generous bonus schemes through our weekly mystery shops. We treat the staff fairly and whether you’re looking for money or a job with progression, Itsu can do that

for you. Does the ‘Itsu Sale’ happen in Reading? Yes. Everyday, half an hour before closing (which is 8:30pm) all our boxes are 50% off and at the moment here we sell around 70 in the evening. We aim to meet our Oxford store’s levels where we sell over 200 boxes in our sale to students in that last half hour. Everyone can enjoy more of our food for half the price and because £7 for one box can be a lot for students, the sale should be perfect! Whatever we don’t sell, we try our best to donate it to a local charity or shelter. Rating (out of 5): Décor: 4.5 Staff: 4.5 Atmosphere: 5 Food and Drink: 4

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Homemade Halloween Treats LOUISE INGHAM 3rd Year Law

Halloween is brilliant, no matter what age you are. When you’re a kid you can dress up and go pester the neighbors for sweets, and when you’re older you can dress up and go pester the bar staff for drinks. Unfortunately shouting “trick or treat!” at them probably will not work. Whether you’re having a night in scaring yourself silly with horror movies or you’re planning pre drinks round yours, there are lots of homemade Halloween-style food and drink you can prepare. Jelly hand: Start by making the jelly and raspberry is best to give the hand a bloody look. Once it’s cooled, pour the jelly into a new rubber glove and leave enough room to be able to tie it up. Then put it in the freezer overnight. Once it’s frozen, carefully cut the rubber glove away from the jelly and you’re left with a severed hand made from jelly! Even if it starts

to break up this doesn’t matter, it just increases the gruesome effect. Marzipan eye balls and severed fingers: A simple but effective snack which is quick to make, and all you need is marzipan and food coloring. Roll the marzipan into balls and decorate with bloodshot eyes, and for the fingers just roll them into cylinder shapes and decorate with blood. Zombie Punch: If you’re in the mood for a creepy cocktail this is a delicious one to serve to all your guests. Mix 10 tbsp of brown sugar and 300ml of lemon juice and stir until the sugars dissolved. Then add 300ml of white rum, 300ml demerara rum, 300ml of pineapple juice, 300ml of lime juice and 300ml of passion fruit syrup. You can either leave it in a large jug for people to help themselves or if you’re feeling creative hollow out a pumpkin and use that as a homemade Halloween punch bowl.

Jelly Hand

5 Lipstick Trends to Try This Autumn

LAURA HARCOURT 3rd Year Geography

Autumn is officially here! The nights are drawing in and the weather is getting colder, but I can’t think of a better way to bring a little colour into the season than by adding a new shade of lipstick

to your make-up bag. For me, autumn signals the transition into experimenting with bolder, darker lip colours and this year is no exception. Autumn 2015 sees ‘90s inspired lip colours, with brick reds to vampy purple shades and from warm nudes to deep browns. So, it is officially time to say goodbye

to those pastel shades you’ve been loving this summer and check out these ideas to perfect your pout for autumn. Whenever I think of autumnal lip colours, my mind is immediately drawn to the ever popular ‘berry’ shade: a combination of both red and purple that looks great on pretty much everyone. A great lipstick to try for this look is Rimmel’s Lasting Finish Kate Moss Lipstick in No.30. However, in a season rampant with ‘90s influenced shades, the ‘berry’ lip has been intensified and darkened into a much more gothic look. This is an easy look to achieve by simply adding a darker lip liner beneath your pre-existing lipstick. A personal favourite is the Collection Lip Definer in Damson: worn underneath the Rimmel lipstick, this lip liner darkens up the look just enough to achieve the super sultry shade everyone is lusting after this season. Another popular colour this autumn is a little more

wearable for everyday occasions and definitely a ‘90s inspired favourite: mauve. Mauve shades are perfect for achieving an effortless, yet put together makeup look, and look perfect when paired with a neutral eye. Two lipsticks I recommend to try are MAC’s Twig and Revlon’s Super Lustrous Lipstick in Blushing Mauve. Both shades are very similar: Twig being slightly darker and having more of a brown undertone than Blushing Mauve, which has more of a pink undertone. That being said, both compliment any skin tone. A classic red lip doesn’t sound all that new and exciting, but after swapping it out for more pastel shades over the summer, the red lip is making its comeback this autumn. This season, swap out your coral-reds from the summer months and indulge in a brickred shade as seen on the catwalks of 3.1 Phillip Lim and Céline. Try L’Oréal Paris Color Riche Exclusive in Eva’s Red for colour that won’t budge during the day and looks great on everyone.

Channelling the ‘90s again, deeper, browner shades of lipstick have been making a statement this year. Seen on the likes of Kylie Jenner, Selena Gomez and Jennifer Lopez, what many would dismiss as a potential lip colour favourite has in fact, become one of the go-to shades this season. As ever, leading the way in makeup trends, MAC recently added several new lip colours to their Matte range: one in particular, Whirl, hits the nail on the head for me when it comes to achieving that deep brown shade. Other similar shades in the new range include Stone and Antique Velvet. Following this, swap out your peachy nudes from this summer for nude shades which have warmer undertones, such as those with hints of brown, burnt orange, burnt sienna or beige. One shade, popular with celebrities and makeup artists alike, is MAC’s Velvet Teddy: a gorgeous, warm natural shade which gives the perfect elegant nude lip for the autumn.

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Forget the pub, artsy Artigiano is the place to be NATHALIE SIAH 3rd Year Law

Fusing the best of both worlds just as a superhero does, Artigiano in Reading is a unique café by day (with competition level coffees) and bar by night boasting of its finest craft beers. On Wednesdays for weeks to come, jazz fills the air and provides a great atmosphere for friends and lovers to gather. This place is a fanciful getaway to a two-floor art festival of happiness, taking you from Reading to the moon. Visiting on 14th October, we were greeted to the sight of candle-lit tables and the sounds of smooth jazz. Trio Marc Weide (fiddle), Ade Holland (guitar) John Monney (double bass) played hits of Sinatra with strength and pizzazz. The trio has appeared at several events such as

the Reading Retail Awards 2013 and play marvellously, however the three did not have much stage presence. Speaking to the crowd was one of their weakness as we were unclear about the line-up they were to play for the night. A craft beer called Punk IPA by Beer Dog, is a must try for all Artigiano goers. Sourced from a Scottish maker known for its tropical fruit sensations, the burst of pineapple and lychee are a surprise to much of the more flatter tasting beers. The house white wine as well was a smooth choice, although did not come as a surprise in terms of taste. Artigiano, although does not fancy itself a place to eat, labels its food ‘nibbles’, to have something alongside your drink. However, think they are selling their food short. Having a taste of their cheese platter as well as sophisticated pizza boards, I was

blown away by the high quality of the food. The cheese board, was a selection of a cranberry Wesleydale, creamy brie, blue cheese and mature cheddar paired with grapes, green olives and onion chutney; a fair combination and complimentary to the house white wine. However what was especially striking were the pizza boards of which we ordered Proscuitto & Funghi and Chicken & Pesto. Proscuitto & Funghi was my personal favourite which consisted of an organic mushroom tapenade base; a flavourful surprise which complimented the red onion and goat cheese. The Chicken & Pesto however was also a safe choice, with bold red sweet peppers, black olives, grilled chicken on a pesto base.

Table of wine and jazz

Chicken & Pesto pizza board

Campus Crushes

Is your love life limited to the library? Are you raring for a Reading romance? If so get in touch with Campus Crushes! To submit your campus crush, email deputyeditor@sparknewspaper.co.uk .

Charming cheese platter Photos by Nathalie Siah

To the tall blonde girl in neon on the treadmill in the gym, You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all day.

Shout out to the curly haired guy in 3sixty last week who saved me from the mosh pit I think I would have been squashed to a pulp without you.

To the ginger guy wearing stripes in the bagel man queue, hi. .

I queued behind the cutest girl I’ve ever seen buying bananas in Campus Central, You are very a-pealing.

LIFESTYLE|

BEAUTY

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How To Keep Your Skin Glowing In The Winter JACKIE TAN

2nd Year Buisness and Management

Now the weather is changing, it’s only typical for your face to either break out due to excess oil or tighten because it’s lacking in hydration. So I’ve included some of the best beauty skincare products for this fall and winter as well as my top techniques that will keep your skin glowing. To start, you may think your skin is fine in the colder weather and will keep those pores at bay but in fact, it’ll do exactly the opposite. In cold temperatures, your skin has to work ten times harder to hydrate itself, therefore if you only consume your regular amount of liquids a day, it won’t be enough. No matter what season, your skin will produce excess oil to make up for the lack of water in your system, hence you must hydrate your skin. Drink at least 3 litres of water and no more than 5, this is essential for those who drink a lot of coffee because caffeine (although a stimulant for the brain) actually is

a dehydrator for the body. To keep your face clear of oil and promote healthy water levels in your face, use Nivea’s Gentle Cleansing Cream Wash, which contains exfoliating beads that help scrub the dirt out without being too abrasive. With the addition of ‘Hydra IQ’, the cleanser encourages retention of water in your face, reducing grease and maintaining natural moisture. If you haven’t figured out yet, toner is literally everyone’s skinsaver as after cleansing your face, the toner helps to close your pores and lock in moisture. For those with sensitive skin, use Simple’s Soothing Facial Toner which won’t give you that sting as it is 100% alcohol free! Or if you’re more into your oil-infused toners, I recommend Pixi’s Glow Mist that gives your skin a hydration boost and enhanced natural glow. To follow up, use a strong moisturiser like Garnier’s Moisture+Radiance that contains citrus extracts helping to provide your skin with that Vitamin C

boost and natural illuminance. Make sure before applying the moisturiser, you warm it up in between your fingertips as it promotes faster and easier absorption into the skin. One major skin must is a facial mask. For skin to feel new and refreshed for longer, use a mask once a month to restart your cleansing cycle, this helps rejuvenate skin by waking it up! The mask will extract all the dirt build up over the month and will leave you skin feeling softer and smoother. I recommend Sanctuary Spa’s 5-Minute-Thermal-Detox that contains charcoal which offers a strong purification and deep pore cleansing properties. With shorter days and what it seems like every day 4 hour night sleeps, make sure you keep your eyes looking as bright as ever with La Roche-Posay’s Pigmentclar dark circle skinevening corrector, which will help hide those dreaded 9am eye bags. For your precious hands, I suggest using The Body Shop’s

Available from Boots, M&S and The Body Shop

Almond Hand & Nail Cream as it doesn’t just smell fab, but leaves your hands feeling baby soft and smooth for up to 6 hours, even after washing. To finish off, why not chose a winter-inspired nail polish like frosted blue or deep maroon. So, don’t forget my top 5 tips

Halloween Makeup Tutorial: Pop Art Zombie

ARI CARRINGTON 1st Year English Lit

Are you looking for something to make you stand out at Halloween, but don't have the funds (or the skills) to pull together a fabulously ambitious costume?

Try some killer makeup; with the right face on, you could wear a tracksuit and still win a costume contest! Try this cute but creepy pop art zombie look for a serious show-stopper that also happens to fit your budget and skill (or lack of) requirements! You will need: turquoise face paint (or blue and green like we used), black eyeliner, black eyeshadow/face paint, hot pink face paint/lipstick/powder eyeshadow, black mascara, white eyeliner, white face paint (optional if you have the eyeliner, but recommended) and as many makeup brushes and sponges as you can get your hands on. Start with the base and slather your face, neck, décolletage and any other skin that's on show with either turquoise or blue face paint. The best way to

apply is with a makeup sponge or a foundation brush. If you're using blue, once it's dry, pat on some green, very patchily, and then cover everything again with another blue layer, to get that turquoise tint. Using lipstick (or pink face paint or eye shadow, think bright and highly pigmented) and a brush paint over your eyebrows, aiming for chunky and precise lines. Pat on product and build up rather than sweeping over, try and make it as bold and blocky as you can. Once you have a gorgeous pink pair, line all around them with black eyeliner. Use whatever kind you feel most comfortable with, be it gel, liquid or pencil. Take the same lipstick and a brush and paint half of your lips using a similar technique as for the brows. Use a white face paint to fill in the other half, extending out about an inch from your

mouth. Again, like the brows, line around the lips in black. On the white side, drag the liner halfway up your face, trying to keep vaguely inline with your cheekbones. Using this line as a guide, draw a jagged, cracklike shape, and fill in completely black. Finally, draw some vertical lines down the white face paint to create teeth. On the opposite side of your face to the teeth you've just drawn, you'll want to give yourself a black eye. Whilst black powder eye shadow seems like a good idea here, it's not, as the powder drop will ruin the base blue. So use face paint or eyeliner and draw a circle (or circle shape) around your eye and fill in heavily. Line the waterline with black too, to maximise the effect. For the other eye, line thickly all around with face paint, and smudge out a little as if creating a smoky

for beautiful, clear skin and ensure you get your beauty sleepsleep helps the body regenerate through processing all nutrients from the day, meaning if you eat well, you sleep well! Good luck pampering!

eye. Then you'll want to draw a line just above the crease with eyeliner. On this eye, you'll want to line the waterline in white to make it pop. Curl both sets of lashes and apply a heavy coat of black mascara. Whilst you've got the eyeliners out, take the black and draw an upside down heart on the tip of your nose. If your skills will allow, leave a strip down the middle like we have. Now you'll want to grab the green face paint again and use it as you would regular blusher. Just a subtle swipe to define cheekbones. Add in a couple of patches or cuts like we have to break up the look a little. For the patch, simply use the lipstick to draw a jagged shape and outline with liner. For the cut, draw a line with the lipstick and draw stitches over it in liner. To finish, take a black eyeliner pen or pencil (or black face paint and a dotting brush) and add in some small dots around black areas to accentuate. Pull down your hair and go and scare the world

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What to Wear for Halloween Six Simple Suggestions

more interesting by going as one of the most famous mice around. You can buy Minnie Mouse ears in most children’s shops or order them online if not. Pair your ears with a polka dot red dress and voila! Simple and cute.

Do a Karen from Mean Girls (“I’m a mouse, duh”)

Credit to George Fellows

HANNAH CROFTS 3rd Year English Lit

The scariest night of the year is upon us, so it’s time to dust off those cobwebs and get on your spookiest fancy dress outfit. If you’re having a ’mare because you don’t know what to wear, or perhaps you’ve left it too late, then don’t worry - I’ve got you covered. Here are six ideas to help you plan your 2015 Halloween costume, whether you’re a boy or a girl… Pirate

Perfect for: The Last Minute Larry (you know who you are) What you need: • White Shirt • Floral Patterned Trousers • Belt • Bandana • Accordion • Black eyeliner, or black face crayon • Fake blood (optional) How to: This is a really easy costume that needs no ‘how to’ explanation, it’s basically just things you already have in your wardrobe put together with some pirate-y accessories. Don’t have one of the items? Just switch it for something else you do have, for

instance a pair of ripped jeans instead of floral trousers. If you want to make this scary then cover yourself in a bit of fake blood, Jack Sparrow meets Carrie style-y. Use black eyeliner to draw on an eye patch, and don’t forget to accessorize with your accordion to give yourself a proper Pirate quirk. Minnie Mouse Perfect for: Those who just want to look cute What you need: • Mouse ears • Red polka dot dress How to: Do a Karen from Mean Girls (“I’m a mouse, duh”) but make it

Burglar Perfect for: Those who love fancy dress but aren’t so big on the scary What you need: • Black leggings • Black and white striped t-shirt • Black Beanie • White pillowcase • Permanent marker • Black gloves How to: Cut two holes in the beanie hat for your eyes, then wear it halfway over your face (so it doesn’t go past your eyes) like a mask. Then get the pillowcase and write ‘SWAG’ on it with the permanent marker; swing this over your shoulder. The striped t-shirt, leggings, and gloves will then give you the rest of the burglar look, but if you want to look extra sneaky go to town on your accessories. For example, you could fill your swag bag with some ‘stolen’ loot, or, to add a twist, pair up with a friend dressed as a police officer and spend the night handcuffed to each other. Naughty Nurse Perfect for: Those who wear pink on Wednesdays What you need: • A nurse costume How to: As quoted in Mean Girls, “In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.” So, if sexy Halloween is what you’re all about, then what’s better than a classic naughty nurse? Once again, this is a costume that needs no ‘how to’ - just go to a shop or order online and you’re good to go. Do your makeup as you usually would

for a night out but add plenty of red lipstick to give yourself some added allure. Zombie Perfect for: Those who want to show off their six-pack What you need: • Long-sleeved white top • Ripped jeans • Black eye liner • Fake blood How to: Rip up a white t-shirt so it’s all slashed and do the same to your jeans as well (unless you already have ripped jeans). Cover yourself in lashings of fake blood; have a bit dripping out of your mouth and use some to draw a bloody slash on your neck for an extra gory effect. Make sure there’s plenty on your t-shirt and on your torso too, so you can see it through the slashes of your ripped t-shirt. Use the black eyeliner to smudge on your face and to make yourself look a bit rough around the edges. Then, finally, depending on how short or long your hair is, do one of two things: either grab some hair gel and really mess up your hair, or get some hairspray and have a go at backcombing. Dead Bride Perfect for: The Cady Heron in all of us What you need: • Wedding dress • Fake blood • White face paint • Black wig How to: Paint your whole face white to give you that perfect shade of dead bride pale. Cover your eyelids in black eyeshadow, then grab your eyeliner and apply as you would normally but add plenty more, making around your eyes look as dark as possible. Apply the biggest false eyelashes you can find to top it off. Have some fake blood coming out from under one of your eyes like a tear, and then use the rest of the fake blood to splatter all over your costume, as well as plenty on your skin. Grab some hairspray and backcomb your hair to give the disheveled vibe needed, or, alternatively, wear a black wig.

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Gyms in Reading LUKE HEWITT

2nd Year Nutrition and Food Science

Whether you are a seasoned gym rat or a newbie wanting to get started, Reading has many fantastic options. From the obvious and conveniently located Sports Park on campus to the lesser known Loddon Valley Gym, this article aims to give you a heads up on gym life in Reading. Sports Park First on the gym tour is the Sports Park, located on campus by the Whiteknights Entrance. Membership of the Sports Park gives you access to the VO2 Fitness Studio as well as sports specific facilities ranging from badminton and football to dance and rugby. The VO2 Fitness Studio ground floor houses a resistance training area which is equipped with dumbbells ranging from 1 to 50kg, two bench press stations, one incline bench press station, two power racks, two lifting platforms, one squat rack, a number of benches, one smith machine, 24 resistance machines and a stretching area. The top floor of the VO2 Fitness Studio is dedicated to cardiovascular training; it comes equipped with 19 treadmills, five rowers, 31 elliptical trainers and 14 exercise bikes. A VO2 Peak student membership costs £160 for nine months, with no joining fee. VO2 Peak membership gives unlimited access VO2 Fitness Studio and classes (of which there are around 118 a week). Cancellation is not an option, however if you fall ill, membership can be frozen. Each membership includes a small induction and program design costs £10. Membership price: VO2 Peak student is £160 for nine months, giving unlimited gym and classes. Gym Opening Hours: Mon-Fri 7:00-22:00. Sat-Sun 9:00-21:00. Distance from University library: 0.5 miles, nine minute walk

Caversham Road next to Drew’s the Iron Mongers (whatever that may be), it is the lowest priced of our featured gyms at £139 for nine months. The gym itself is huge and its two floors come equipped with a vast array of cardiovascular and resistance machines (around 220 pieces of gym equipment). In addition to the staggering amount of machines in this gym there are around 99 classes a week. There is a notable lack of any bench press stations, leading people to bench in the squat racks. This means that you may be waiting more often than not to get access to a squat rack (of which there are only two). However, 24 hour opening times, the wide selection of equipment available and the competitive price mean that my complaint is pretty unreasonable. Membership price: £19.99 per month or student nine month membership for £139. Cancellation will give you back a percentage – cancelling immediately after joining will you get back £70. Opening Hours: 24/7 Distance from University library: 2.4 Miles (50 minute walk) or take the number 21 bus (28 minutes). Website: www.puregym.com/ gyms/reading Contact: 0845 217 0680 Email: info.reading@puregym. com

Loddon Valley Gym Loddon Valley gym is located next to ASDA in Lower Earley, enabling easy access to postworkout doughnuts (which I definitely did not eat…). Again, like Pure Gym, this gym only had two squat racks and no power racks, however it did have one bench press and one incline bench press station which was a definite improvement. The gym also comes equipped with dumbbells ranging from 2.5kg to 50 kg, kettle bells, 17 resistance training machines, TRX equipment, stretching area and a punch bag. Website:www.sport.reading. In addition to the resistance ac.uk/ training facilities the gym Contact: 0118 378 8799 Email: sport@reading.ac.uk contained 15 treadmills, four exercise bikes, two recumbent Pure Gym bikes, three rowers, seven The Second gym on our gym elliptical machines and five tour is Pure Gym. Located on spinning bikes as well as two

power plate machines. Loddon Valley leisure centre also has squash and badminton courts, flood lit 5-a-side football pitches, sauna/steam rooms and its major selling point – a six lane 25 metre swimming pool. Loddon Valley currently has a deal on in October meaning you can join for free (waiving the usual £40 joining fee). The membership costs £30.95 for students and is on a rolling three month basis, meaning you can easily cancel your membership after three months. Membership will get you unlimited gym, swim and classes (of which there are 71 per week). You will also get a free 45 minute personal training session and access to the three other 1Life facilities in the region - the next closest being Bulmershe Leisure Centre in Woodley. In addition to potential post-workout doughnuts from ASDA, there is an onsite café area which is open from 8am to 7pm. At the moment you can get a free

three day trial when you sign up for a free 1Life card online. Membership price: £30.95 rolling three month contract (No joining fee for October). Gym Opening Hours: Mon-Fri 6:30-22:30. Sat-Sun 8:00-19:30. Distance from University library: 1.5 Miles; the 21 bus takes 11 minutes or walk it in 28 minutes. Website: www.1life.co.uk Contact: 0118 9312066 Email: Loddon.Valley@1Life. co.uk Palmer Park Gym Palmer park gym is located east of the university in Palmer Park (surprisingly). This cute, affordable gym contains dumbbells ranging from 2–36kg, a number of benches, one squat rack, 17 resistance training machines and a range of kettle bells. In terms of cardiovascular exercise there are eight elliptical machines, three rowers, five exercise bikes, three recumbent bikes, eight treadmills, four stepper machines and 11 spinning bikes.

Other facilities include a 460m velodrome, football pitch, 5-a-side courts, athletics track, sports field and dance studio. The gym also provides 26 exercise classes a week and membership gives you access to three other RSL gyms – all of which contain swimming facilities. Palmer Park gym charges no joining fee and there is no contract. A bronze membership (giving you access to either gym or classes) costs students £15.50 per month. A gold student membership gives you access to everything minus racket sports and costs £25. Membership price: Bronze £15.50. Gold £25. Other options available. Gym Opening Hours: Mon-Thu 7:00-22:00. Fri 7:00-21:30. SatSun 9:00-18:00. Distance from University library: 1.1 miles - 20 minute walk. Website: www.readingleisure. co.uk/palmer-park/ Contact: 0118 937 5080 Email: aaron.boyle@reading. ac.uk

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Why Study Abroad? 5 Gains of a Great Year Abroad

CAITLIN MCCLINCHY 3rd Year German and Economics

University life is really what you make it and it there are a series of wonderful opportunities you can choose to take or decide against. Studying abroad is one of these and here are five of the countless benefits of living in a foreign country during your university years: 1. The people you meet: There is no doubt that once you study in a foreign country, you will live a very ‘international’ life. The common misconception may be that the majority of your friends will come from your country of study, but this is hardly ever the case. It’s an amazing feeling to spend an evening with a mix of people from Egypt, France, Finland and Syria – and, with so many differences in your cultures, you never run out of things to talk about. Your Facebook feed will suddenly be full of so many different languages that you begin to realise how small your life at home in Reading is! Of course, it is lovely to become close to local students, too, and they can provide invaluable knowledge about the area you’re living in, such as where to avoid on a Saturday night and where has the best kebabs following your Saturday night exploits. Making Austrian friends has personally meant I had fewer bouts of homesickness. You naturally become more connected to your place of study through your local friends.

You will soon realise that your future opportunities are greatly improved by studying or working abroad

2. Travelling: Wherever you choose to go, you’ll be around people who are itching to go and explore other areas and even countries with you. Trains are relatively cheap in mainland Europe, therefore weekends away staying in hostels don’t have to add up to that much

Riegersburg and Kunsthaus

– it’s a great opportunity to tick countries and experiences off your bucket list. 3. A new found confidence and love for life: Once you’ve lived abroad, suddenly your stresses and worries at home seem minimal. You have the confidence to try so many new things that you may not have felt able to do at your home university.

4. Experiencing a new culture: There’s nothing more satisfying than really breathing the culture of your new-found home and living (or at least trying to) like one of the locals. You’ll be eager to share stories and adventures with family and friends back at home. When you get back to the UK, you’ll be waiting at every red light crossing on empty roads

and never thank a bus driver again - these are common signs that you’ve picked up the local etiquette in Austria. 5. Looking into the future: You will soon realise that your future opportunities are greatly improved by studying or working abroad. Even if you haven’t learnt the language of your place of study, a potential employer will see that you have the

ability and motivation to tackle new challenges and recognise opportunities. Overall it is always a brilliant idea to stretch your comfort zones and try new things; a year abroad may be exactly what you need to gain a new and improved outlook on life.

MISS ADVISED & MR MAGNETIC

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Miss Advised Miss Advised, I’ve moved into halls for the first time this year and I’m completely terrified. I’m worried none of my housemates will like me and I’ll end up having no friends. I really want to have a good time at uni but I get worried about going out clubbing too. I’ve also been freaking out about the course, what if I fail because it’s too hard? Please help. A totally terrified fresher.

Miss Scardey-Cat, Slow down, take a breath and relax. Try not to worry so much about everything as its not going to change the outcome. I can assure you that you will find friends. Whether they are from your course, your housemates or from a society you will make a good group of friends. As long as you’re friendly and approach people there is no reason you wouldn’t. Your housemates will become your best friends as they are who you spend the most time with. There may be one or two who aren’t keen to be friends but it’s the same in every flat, and as long as you try to get along with everyone you will. Everyone’s in the same position and probably just as worried as you so everyone will make an effort no doubt. If worst comes to worst and you don’t like your housemates you can make friends on your course or join a society. There are so many opportunities to make friends at university you definitely will! Clubbing isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but give it a go. If you don’t like it you don’t have to go again, and if you do you’ll have a great time. There are plenty of other events going on at uni all the time that don’t all involve clubbing.

Drawn by Kate Bowen

Mr Magnetic Dear Mr Magnetic, I’m a second year and totally loved my first year of university. However, I definitely didn’t escape the fresher’s weight scare and ended up gaining quite a bit from alcohol and eating bad food (especially after a night out). Over the summer I’ve been working out and eating better, but I know once I go back to uni I will end up piling on the pounds again! Can you offer me any advice on how to eat a bit healthier while still having fun at uni?

In terms of your course it is first year so your grade doesn’t count. They do this for a reason as they know it may be hard and you will have a lot of other things going on such as adjusting to your new home. You will be eased in to it. And again, everyone is in the same position and you can always ask members of staff and people on your course for help! Miss Advised

A previously chubby fresher.

Dear soon to be fit and healthy second year, The uni lifestyle can definitely lead you to gain some weight, lots of nights out and kebabs can end up sneaking up on you. It’s hard to lose weight when you are going on lots of nights out but this shouldn’t stop you from having fun! Try and eat healthier during the day. Swap parts of your diet for healthier alternatives. Instead of having white bread with your sandwich have brown, and use margarine instead of butter. Try and work with simple foods such as pasta which we all know are cost effective but add veggies in with it or use turkey mince instead of beef. Turkey mince are a lot less fatty. Fresh veg can be expensive so buy lots of frozen. Keeping snacking to a minimum (easier said than done) can also make a huge difference. For nights out perhaps stay away from drinks like beer and cider that are really fatty and heavy, while drinking wine or spirits. Try and resist UniGrill’s charm after a night out. The uni’s gym has tons to offer at a good price, with different classes to go to. If you can find a buddy to go with you it will make the experience a lot more fun. You’ll motivate each other and have a giggle at the same time. Don’t forget, there are lots of societies centred on all sorts of sports too, so maybe you could join one of them and make tons of friends at the same time. = Mr Magnetic.

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It’s a wrap Read all about Mallory Knox’s final homecoming tour show at The Roundhouse

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Mallory Knox wrap it up at the Roundhouse! OLLIE WEEDEN Sports Editor

If there was any doubt as to who shall eventually inherit the title of UK Alt rock kings, it ended last night with a blistering two hour set at the Roundhouse signing off what has a been a hugely successful homecoming tour for the band from Cambridge. Speaking before the show, songwriter and guitarist Sam Douglas commented: ‘This was something I didn’t think was possible…this tour has been one big celebration of something we never thought we could achieve.’ But achieve they did, with a 5000 strong sold out crowd screaming back every lyric, it was hard not

to get caught up in the amazing atmosphere. Credit must, however, first go to the support bands. With three piece Scottish trio the Xcerts putting on a great set before introducing Florida based punk rock quartet Set it Off, who did a fine job of warming up an expectant crowd with front-man Cody Carson’s vocal talent and stunning stage presence electrifying the theatre. Only when the house fell silent as Set it Off pranced off stage did the agonizing wait for our headliners begin. All around conversations could be heard of people debating topics such as what the will band open with, how will they close the night, are they doing anything special upon headlining their biggest show to date? As it turned out, nobody had to wait long for

an answer as soon enough the lights dimmed, the curtain tore down and the band immediately launched into a rendition of their hit single ‘Shout at the Moon.’ This began a first half of the set predictably dominated by hits from the band’s hit 2014 album ‘Asymmtery’, with songs like ‘Getaway’, ‘Dying to Survive’ and ‘Heart & Desire’ all making the cut. However, as a band with only two full albums to date it would not be a Mallory Knox gig without a nod to their 2013 record ‘Signals’. Some of the most well received songs on the night included earlier efforts such as ‘Hello’, ‘Wake Up’ and (more towards the end) classic favourites like ‘Beggars’ and ‘Lighthouse’, the latter of which closed the night in unbelievable fashion.

Singer Michael ‘Mikey’ Chapman took it upon himself numerous times during the evening to address the audience and make it known how grateful the band are for having the support they do. ‘Thank you for putting where we are today’, beamed Chapman from centre stage, ‘we would be nothing without you guys’. It was then a quiet return after the band succumbed to the crowd’s demand for an encore. ‘She took him to the lake’, a song born out of two, was the number of choice. When the crowd, upon the band’s request, all pulled out their lighters, their mobile phones or simply ‘anything with a light’ as Chapman put it, and swayed gently to the rhythm it was worth taking a look around and seeing how even those sitting above were

doing exactly the same. It was that image, which made it a truly unforgettable experience. When the band went off and people traipsed out, The Spark was fortunate enough to have gained brief access to the after party. An event most often exclusively for the band with their friends and family. Despite having interviewed the band earlier in the day, it was still heartwarming to see how friendly everyone was with each other after what must have been an exhausting nationwide tour. For those of us who may not have heard much of Mallory Knox’s music, it is safe to say that they proved how it is not only their records, the sound of which justifies their sales, but their live performance too which is of five star quality.

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Interview with Sam and Joe from British Alt.Rock band Mallory Knox OLLIE WEEDEN Sports Editor

After we were treated to a night of culture and intrigue, this reporter sat down to talk to the co-director and star of the play Angela Hii and her lead, Harith Khan. Q: Hi guys! After a busy summer playing across the USA, how does it feel to be finally back home on the last date of the Homecoming tour? J: It feels to me like we’re back being Mallory Knox. To come back here, it feels like we’re that band we were before we went to America. The summer was difficult, we went back to playing some venues which only fit around 100 people so it’s nice to come back and feel confident that we’re going to be seeing full rooms every day, which is nice

Q: How do you feel the reception has been like back home? Do you think UK crowds differ from American ones in any way? S: For me, this was something which I didn’t think was possible. When I was 18, I quit music. We had normal jobs and felt like the moment had passed. So this tour for me has been one big celebration of something we never thought we could achieve. The Roundhouse, the Ritz in Manchester, Norwich UEA, these are all venues which we grew up going to watch bands play. But now we get to be the band on those stages. It’s overwhelming. The crowds at home have been better, in America people still have to work out who we are! Q: What was it like to be in the studio (when recording the Asymmetry album) alongside

producer Gil Norton?

J: Initially it was a bit intimidating, but we got over it really quickly because he was so good with us! We would quite often talk about his past work, he used to say ‘I’m only as good as my last record, which is going to be this one!’ What Gil gave to me was the confidence to do what we wanted as a band. He left no stone unturned. S: He was very quick at figuring out who to talk to about what. In terms of the song structure, he’d talk to me. Vocals, obviously he’d talk to Mikey. It made the process much easier, a discussion between 6 people could get messy. He just made me feel so at ease with everything Q: How, as a band, did you recover from having your studio burn down part way through the recording process?

J:It was a logistical nightmare, obviously we had to find another studio. Make sure everything left in the old studio wasn’t ash. I almost look back on that as a learning curve. I like the fact it wasn’t easy. We didn’t let it dampen our spirits at all, we just cracked on with it. And Gil was so level-headed in it all and in how we recovered from it Q: The album deals a lot with themes of love, loss, changing relationships and the frustration caused because of that. Was there a reason for this? S: I would put it down to, when you’ve been in a band for two years and you tour the world, your life completely changes. You grow apart from friends back home, you miss your family and relationships with girlfriends break up. When we wrote Signals, we were only 21/22. All we had to write about were the jobs we had. We hadn’t really experienced real life very much. When you go out on the road you deal with these breakups, being homesick, missing people you love and you can’t help but feel these things. So it’s much more natural this time round. Me and Mikey split the lyrics 50/50, we didn’t even talk about what the songs were about half the time they just ended up being on the same topic Q: Back in June 2011, ourzonemag.com reviewed the Pilot EP nothing that: ‘If a full albums worth of material was on offer you’d probably be looking at the UK’s next alternative rock kings’. With Asymmtery peaking at no.16 in the UK album charts to so much critical and commercial acclaim, do you feel now you have earned that title? S: We’re very, very heads on. Doesn’t get to us. We walked into the venue today like ‘Oh my God, how did our little band headline somewhere like this.’ We’re never going to label ourselves UK alternative kings no matter what happens. We are very, very thankful for where we are. We never thought in a million years we would be here J: It’s ridiculous that we’re at this level. It will never feel normal

to us. We will always be grateful Q: Would you have any advice for any up and coming bands out there? S: Well I can only say from what we did. I had a full time job and I had completely given up on music when I was 18/19. Then I got a call from Dave and Joe that they were starting a band and we literally did it just for the fun of it that was it. We did it to write songs and have fun. I like to think that we’ve stayed true to that, it’s never been a job. You just need to write music you would want to hear as a listener, and not let outside influences tell you different. Always stay true to writing songs you would want to hear, that’s all you can do, and hope you get a bit of luck along the way J: Luck was so key, we uploaded a song onto Myspace all those years ago and a mutual friend of our manager heard it. You can’t plan stuff like that. Enjoy the opportunities in front of you. S: Don’t look too far ahead, I remember when we went through a stage where we kicked ourselves because we thought we wanted to play bigger venues. But in the end you have to think that doesn’t matter, we were still headlining shows we never thought we could a couple of years before. So enjoy the moment, no matter what it is. Whether it’s 10 people in a pub in the middle of Southend or Bradford. Just take it for what it is. Just stay true to yourself and see what happens Q: Where do you see Mallory Knox going from here? Taking a well-earned break? S: No, it’s literally writing the very, very early stages of album no.3. The campaigning for Asymmetry is pretty much over as far as I’m aware. At least from now until Christmas we’ll just be chilling out but we will be writing songs as well. J: If the Foo Fighters want to come and play Wembley again I’m sure we’ll support them (laughs) We’re single and ready to mingle!

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Interview with Rock & Blues Duo The Graveltones WILLIAM COLE

2nd Year Politics and International Relations

Thanks for speaking to me, I thought you put on a great show, but more importantly did you enjoy yourselves? J: Yeah, we had a ball man…. hahahaha, no it sucked, I hate playing gigs, they drag me up here, and they push me on stage… M: Some people actually hate gigs though J: I know, they do, it’s really weird you know. People get nervous… nah we always have a ball. Tonight was fun. So to start at the very beginning, I know you met in 2011, why did you choose a heavy blues/rock band? J: Oh we didn’t, we just did it, we never chose, it just happened like that. I’d been writing some songs, I needed to play a gig. Mickey jumped in on drums, and next thing you know we’re a band. We’d had some songs, but we didn’t sound anything like we do now, and it evolved by playing lots of shows together. We didn’t really discuss it by sitting down, in a pre-meditated way… Hahaha was that what you were looking for? Or more like ‘I sat behind my computer and I googled what was popular at the time… and it said this blues music, so I sat down and taught myself the pentatonic scale!’ Skipping on a bit, tonight I

noticed your brilliant working relationship. When Jimmy had some technical difficulties, Mickey would keep the crowd going whilst you sorted that out. Is that the same as your relationship offstage? J: That’s what you call gremlins, we haven’t had them in a long time, not on this tour. They’re there to test you. But yeah, we Mickey spills a beer I mop it up and vice versa. It’s life, just mates you know? You’ve just got to get on with it. We spend a lot of time together, and play a lot of music together and we love it. M: It’s funny how it’s the only way we’ve really ever known each other. Hahaha I drove him (Jimmy) a bit mad earlier on with timings and stuff. I’m an 11th hour man, keeps people on their toes. Having been to a few blues gigs recently, and seeing the difference in the ages and numbers of people coming to these gigs, do you not feel that blues/rock and roll has declined as a popular music form to go and see?

things. Because of that, I’d say it’s pretty hard to state whether it’s in decline or not to be honest, maybe the older 12-bar style stuff is. Do you have a favourite artist at the moment? M: For me it will always be Nick Cave, he’s had a lot of influence over me personally.

towards the festivals in summer. We always try to look a year ahead. We’re still unsigned, very much independent and although we’ve got some very good people working around us, we want to do it the old-school way. We’re up here and playing to a handful of people, and in a lot of people’s eyes it’s not 500, its more like 100, you’ve just got to build and build, and have fun.

J: Too tough me to answer.

So what’s your ideal size of crowd?

J: I’d say that blues music is too big to define. Every genre of popular music has blues music in it, it has an essence of it within its composition. It doesn’t matter what it is, all the music of today comes from somewhere. Unless of course its straight up 12-bar dadun da-dun… I wouldn’t say that we play just blues because I’m influenced by loads of different

What’s next for both of you?

J: Well we started out playing in front of 2 people, but our biggest crowd was 15,000, supporting a band in Germany, which was crazy. They’re very different beasts, big shows, small shows, more intimate ones, it’s just a matter of how you look at them and attack them. Neither is worse or better, you just play and whoever’s there is cool!

your perfect post Uni go to with a playlist of steady rhythms, funky beats and an overall electro feel and that timeless indie sound. “Plant The Seed” stands out from album Cavalcade as it ups the electro feel and range with a “Years and Years” resonance that gets catchier with every listen. It has a lighter less menacing sound with a taste of pop rather than their usual dark indie but still manages to retain their individual style. Clever lyrics are heard throughout the album essentially “Plant the Seed” has a universal appeal with lyrics based on new

beginnings and revival “A new Horizon bathed in light”, “A resurrection what once was dead now alive”. Unlike some of their gloomy lyrics the four piece are set for bright things with promising reviews from live gigs playing venues such as Manchester Academy 3 and festivals Isle of Wight, Tramlines and Ramsbottom. The newest addition to my Spotify playlist, I’ll be keeping an eye out for these Manchester lads and their fresh lungs on their promising road to musical success.

J: More of what we’re doing now. Our 2nd album [Love Lies Dying] came out 3 months ago, so we’re still in that tour cycle. Next year’s going to be a lot more touring, we’re not stopping for a while, we’ve got Germany and Italy after the UK. We’ll start working on album number three, and working

And with that, where would you like to see yourself in 10 years? J: Ideal scenario in 10 years, I’d like to have a family, and to make a living off doing this. I’d like to hopefully grow, and like every artist get more acclaim for what you’re doing and maybe build a fan-base, and to have people appreciate what we do which I guess is what every artist wants. We’re not after fame and fortune, that’s more the dark side of this industry, I don’t know if a want that. But if you can support a family on waking up every morning and doing something you love, then that’s it for me. Mickey and Jimmy, thank you very much J: It’s been a pleasure.

Slow Readers Club set to sucSEED CATHERINE HOLLAND 3rd Year Human Nutrition

The Slow Readers Club nurtured in Manchester, a city with a strong indie backbone, set themselves aside from their contemporaries with their unique dark, broody, indie electro sound. Their album Cavalcade contains hits such as “I Saw a Ghost”, “Days Like This Will Break Your heart” and new single “Plant the Seed”. The album is

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Spooky Halloween Music CATHERINE HOLLAND 3rd Year Human Nutrition

Whether you're planning a party for Halloween or just looking to spend a cosy, applebobbing-filled night in, you need appropriate music to set the tone. Luckily, I have some suggestions to give you suitable chills for either eventuality. Every Night I Dress Up As You - Outfit Deliciously dark, but lively enough for background music in a sticky kitchen party. Say sticky kitchen really fast. You can find the old (good) one on Hypem. com. 16 Shades of Black and Blue Fujiya & Miyagi Not to be confused with the misinformed BDSM trend, this track knows exactly how to get your heart racing without tacky gimmicks or ignoring your safe-

word. Lullaby - The Cure The ultimate whispering seduction. Interpret the lyrics however you want; ultimately, this song is horror erotica.

Lotion - Greenskeepers A catchy homage to The Silence of the Lambs. It downloads the song, or else it gets the hose again. Our Latest Catalogue - Circus Contraption Perfect, campy circus horror. Can't recommend the entire album highly enough if you're throwing an ACTUAL Halloween party. I'm looking at you, mum. Die in a Fire – The Living Tombstone FNAF has become so huge that people are even making music about it. Definitely good party music - angry but upbeat enough to jump around to. Spooky Scary Skeletons (Remix)

- The Living Tombstone Do I honestly have to say anything?! If you don't know the original, the internet has many treasures. Go seek them out, my sweet summer child. Beware the /b/. Ghost - Mystery Skulls The video for this is mindblowing. Apparently, while I've been inside all summer counting my ramen packets, people have

A Rock and a Hard Place, Between Two Worlds

MILLIE FARQUHAR 1st Year English Literature

Between Two Worlds is the debut film from writer Stephen Morris and follows the story of the broken hearted writer Ryan, played by Chris Mason, as he tries to adapt to his new life in London away from his home town of Liverpool.

The plot focuses on his life as he gets dragged from party to party by his two friends Connor (Lucien Laviscount) and John (played by rapper turned actor Elliot Greave aka ‘Example’). In theory, this film sounded so promising that I initially was excited to see some new blood in both worlds of acting and writing but unfortunately leaves much to

be desired. This film is just under 100 minutes long and it falls into the trap of trying to do too much in such a small period of time. In total there are 12 characters, which is just too many, as they all suffer from severe underdevelopment from scenes that were rushed as the plot tries to progress. Apart from the initial introduction, which is even done in the trailer for the film, we learn nothing about the two friends Connor and John, other than the fact that one is an actor and the other works for a hedgefund. This underdevelopment means that it is almost impossible to bond with the characters emotionally. One of the many plot points of the film is that Ryan is struggling to move on after the death of his mother, but that is all that he says on the matter. We never find out when or how she dies which I personally found infuriating. There is nothing other than a couple of flash backs

been clubbing to this. If you haven't been fortunate enough to get a pint spilled on you with this blasting, fix that. Magic - Mystery Skulls A bit lighter than Ghost but packs the same punch. The chorus is only one word, it's basically "Happy" but about a foppish necromancer, so everybody wins really. the audience is given to support their relationship which leave viewers unsympathetic, and even unconvinced, by Ryan’s pain. On top of all this underdevelopment, there seems to be no chemistry between the actors themselves. I do not know if this is because of the actors or the writing or a culmination of both, but the pauses within and between lines seems nothing but awkward. Even the scenes with the antagonist, Ryan’s manager Freddie (Charlie Anson), did nothing but make me cringe. Scenes supposed to induce a sense of tension or fear were so clichéd that it came across as humorous. However, the one thing that perhaps annoyed me the most about this whole film was the rushed plot. Morris attempts to give each of the 6 principal characters a sub-plot. Which creates just too many plot holes to count. The main clutch of Ryan’s anger, sadness and frustration at being unable to write seems to revolve around his breakup with his girlfriend Lucy. And in fact the first time the audience encounters her she is with a new man. However, less that two days later, this man has vanished to

Blood Kiss - Pogo If you don't know this guy, you really should. He takes samples from films (mostly Disney) and mashes them into catchy earworms. This song is composed of samples from Swedish horror film Let the Right One In and therefore isn't as bouncy as the one he made from Up. This would probably be best for solo viewing. the winds to allow Lucy to sleep with Connor and no explanation is given as to why she decides to randomly sleep with him, or what has happened to her ‘boyfriend’. The one saving grace of the whole movie as the actress Hannah Britland, who gives such a convincing performance as the love interest Anna. She is just such a breath of fresh air in this whole film, which seems understandable as she is by far the most experienced actor in the cast with films like ‘Rush’ and television shows like Fresh Meat and Skins under her belt. This film showed such initial promise. However, like most first time film writers frequently make the mistake of doing, too much was tried in too little time. Fortunately, there were snippets of well written dialogue such as the end dialogue between Ryan and Anna, and there is a really touching scene on the London Underground after their first date where they play a game involving guessing the other passenger’s music tastes. So I know that Stephen Morris is worth keeping an eye on in the future and hopefully this will be a great learning experience for him.

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Review: Castle Crashers

A fantastic little game that brightens your day WING LAM KAR 3rd Year Law

Top 5 Scary Movies to Watch This Halloween REBECCA BAMPTON 3rd Year Maths and Statistics

5. The Mist Drayton and his young son head to the local grocery store to replenish supplies after a powerful storm damages their home. Soon afterwards, they, along with other citizens, are trapped inside by a strange mist. Danger emerges from outside as strange creatures are lurking, but this is not the only threat as a religious zealot calls for a sacrifice to pay for their sins. Based on a bestselling Stephen King novel. 4. Halloween (1978) On Halloween, six-year-old Myers returns from trick-ortreating to murder his 17-year-old sister. He is then institutionalised and placed under the care of Sam Loomis, a psychiatrist who sees only pure evil in Myers’ soul. Myers manages to escape the mental institution 15 years later during a visit from Dr Loomis. He returns his hometown on Halloween to prey on new victims.

3. The Orphanage Laura has reopened the orphanage that she once resided in as a facility for disabled children. Simon, her critically ill son, starts to communicate with his new invisible friend and disappears not long after the move. Griefstricken Laura starts to believe that she hears spirits that might be helping her find Simon. However, she starts to unearth terrible secrets about the old house. 2. The Conjuring Carolyn and Roger Perron have moved their family of five daughters into a secluded farmhouse where a supernatural presence starts to terrorise them. In desperation, they contact paranormal investigators Lorraine and Ed Warren, who arrive to help remove the dark presence. 1. Psycho Phoenix secretary Marion Crane is on the run after stealing $40,000 from her employer. Due to exhaustion and torrential rainstorms, she stops for the night at a run-down motel where she first encounters Norman Bates, a peculiar young man with a difficult relationship with his mother.

Castle Crashers is a 2D sidescrolling beat ‘em up game developed by The Behemoth. It was first released on Xbox 360 in 2008, and the PC version which I have been playing came in 2012. It was also republished on the newest system, Xbox One, September this year. It seems like a bit outdated to review a game released 7 years ago, but since I only got it from last year’s Steam summer sale and have been really enjoying it, I still think this game is worth talking about. Castle Crushers has a really simple plot – an evil mage has taken the crystal from your poor old king, and you must begin the quest from being a knight enjoying his booze in the dungeon to saving the world and four princesses on his way. There is no complex control, only light, heavy and magic attacks, all moves are the combination of these three commands, so it does not burn your brain out by remembering a long list of moves which you won’t be using half of throughout the game. There are three types of collectables – characters, weapons and animals. Different characters

use their own magic attacks, while weapons have various effects on your knight’s attributes and animals accompany you through the journey with their special abilities such as finding treasures or increase the experience gained. By collecting them all and levelling up, the characters will certainly soak up a lot of your time, also giving the game replay value. The Behemoth is famous for making difficult games, and Castle Crashers is no different. It may be really hard to go through the campaign mode on your own at a later part of the game. However do not worry, the essence of this game is in the co-op mode. You can either play with your friends, or join random groups around the world. In the co-op mode, you will be able to team up against the boss. The only down side is that you may be have to compete for the princess’ kiss after saving her. So prepare for another battle after the boss fight as you will need them to unlock the achievement (collect all four kisses in multiplayer mode)! The designs and the ideas are charming, the leader artist

Dan Paladin contributed a lot to complete this game as a whole. The cute, cartoon style balances out the oddity of the game and certainly makes you laugh throughout gameplay. You may find a deer poo-ing like a rocket, or riding on a llama and make it split to attack. You may even find yourself captured by aliens in the medieval ages and accidentally freeing a prisoner on their ship while he is reading the newspaper on the toilet, or you may will a sausage to kill a corn. Castle Crushers is the game you want when you feel like beating a boss or your friend in this cute and slightly bizzare world. There is no doubt considerable value out of £0.99 spent (when it is on sale) and a nice way to kill time. By the way, The Behemoth is releasing the “Barbarian Makeover” update for Castle Crushers on Steam on 14th October, hence current players can enjoy the brand new mini game too.

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Creative Corner Drawn by Harry Richardson, 2nd Year Archaeology

LOUISE INGHAM 3rd Year Law

Mrs Dracula Blood sucking parasite, that’s all he is All he will ever be. He spends all day sleeping While I tidy this preposterous house Perched on top of the mountain With that constant thunder and lightning. “How is this practical?” I ask, but of course he doesn’t listen.

And who does he think he is? Strutting around in his black and white suit, His hair slicked back within an inch of its life. Does he know it’s not 1897 anymore? Bloody big headed bastard. How he used to love me, Smothered me in adoration, jewellery, Though no silver, of course.

Put on a brave face, did as I was told. Sat by silently as he shagged the entire town. But enough is enough. If he can have more than one wife, Girlfriend, mistress, “friend”… So can I. There is a gorgeous new man in town, Come to think of it, I think his name is Van Helsing

Now, who are these dumb blondes prancing around? Acting like they own the place, Dazed eyes and blood stained necks. He doesn’t even hide it! Being one of three wives was hard enough, But I zipped my lips,

PUZZLE POINT Donor Mallory Sea monster Dracula MASS Solidarity Fight Oracle Study Abroad Flu Premier

Sunny French Pumpkins Surf Safari Halloween RUMUN Sushi Keith Richards Saudi

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WATTSUP? Do you put the ‘ha’ in laug-ha-ble? Prove it and try doing WattsUp on for size.

Reoccurring themes are the worst when they’re scary. What pops up most frequently in your nightmares? TJ Hiew, 3rd year Law: That I can't remember the definitions of the moral values for Moral Education for my Malaysian Certificate of Education exam. Ari C., 1st year English Lit: I don't have dreams or nightmares anymore, but when I was little I had a reoccurring nightmare about a little man in a coconut tree laughing at me. It was terrifying and I don't know why. Wing Lam Kar, 3rd year Law: A fat version of myself. Eleanor Alice R., 3rd year FTT: Open water. I am scared to death of the sea or any large stretch of water. Anything with drowning makes for a bad nightmare. Jenna P., 3rd year History: Sand. The thought of sand dripping terrifies me. Aaron W., 3rd year History: Falling down stairs.

Burger King has launched its Halloween Whopper where hungry customers can get their meat on a black bun. The scary surprise is turns your turd green. How would you feel about having one of these in a trip to the bathroom? TJ Hiew, 3rd year Law: I. Just. Had. My. Dinner. When. I. Saw. This. Question. Ari C., 1st year English Lit: I would 100% try this, just for the bants. Wing Lam Kar, 3rd year Law: You can imagine you're just eating too much veggies. That's healthy. Eleanor Alice R., 3rd year FTT: That would scare the shit out of me and my doctor. Jenna P., 3rd year History: I wouldn't eat it in the first place, and if I did I'd go straight to the doctor's and tell them I was dying. Aaron W., 3rd year History: That's truly horrifying.

video games now? Wing Lam Kar, 3rd year Law: Listen to the pig laughter and you will know. Eleanor Alice R., 3rd year FTT: Napoleon complex. I think they're pissed off about being really small. Jenna P., 3rd year History: The buildings they're trying to knock down were built where the birds used to live. They're just trying to get back what was theirs. Aaron W., 3rd year History: I'd be a bit miffed if all I did was hurl stuff around.

Everybody’s a little guilty of having irrational fears! When you were little, what is the dumbest thing that you’ve been scared of? Ari C., 1st year English Lit: I had a mirror opposite my bed when I was little, and seeing my reflection at night used to really creep me out. Wing Lam Kar, 3rd year Law: I would say drinking too much soup at dinner. Eleanor Alice R., 3rd year FTT: Watership Down. One film that I will never understand being a PG. Aaron W., 3rd year History: Angry Birds.

Lindsay Lohan celebrated October 3rd known as Mean Girls Day by meeting up with her co-stars. If you had a chance to put your inner ‘mean’ on with the girls, what would you do together? Ari C., 1st year English Lit: If I had a chance? Regina George is my spirit animal; I live it every day XD Wing Lam Kar, 3rd year Law: Compare our boyfriends' penis size of course. Eleanor Alice R., 3rd year FTT: Make a burn book about our course.

The Disney film Frozen has been out for two years now and has little girls making things icy everywhere they go. What is the most forgotten character that was popular to dress up as on Halloween? TJ Hiew, 3rd year Law: Mickey Mouse? Ari C., 1st year English Lit: Harry potter! I know it's still popular, but I remember a time when literally every kid was dressed like a wizard. Those were the days. Wing Lam Kar, 3rd year Law: Elsa in her queen dress? Seems like everyone chose the icy dress instead. Eleanor Alice R., 3rd year FTT: I haven't seen the scream dude in a while. Jenna P., 3rd year History: Witches. Just witches. Aaron W., 3rd year History: Probably a Pumpkin, they're pretty underrated. Excitingly, there is a Halloween costume for sale to look like Caitlin Jenner on the cover of Vanity Fair. What would be your main reason for dressing up like the star? TJ Hiew, 3rd year Law: No way, I already have my costume sorted, and AM NOT going to change my mind. Ari C., 1st year English Lit: There is no situation where this costume is ever okay. It is not okay to mock or parody trans people. Such a difficult thing to go through, only to have it trivialised by ridiculous costumes. It should be banned. Wing Lam Kar, 3rd year Law: To encourage men to dress in this way. Eleanor Alice R., 3rd year FTT: I would want to dress up in her style because she is fabulous. I wouldn't want to dress up as her though in case it looked like I was making fun. Jenna P., 3rd year History: For the bants. Aaron W., 3rd year History: Some sort of premature mid-life crisis.

Some people claim that they've seen ghosts in their homes. How do you feel about them floating around at the end of the month? TJ Hiew, 3rd year Law: Wait, I thought ghosts come out only during the 7th month of the Chinese Calendar? Oh, you are talking about Western ghosts, I see. Ari C., 1st year English Lit: They are definitely around. And as long as they're nice (or peeves level funny), they are welcome. Wing Lam Kar, 3rd year Law: They can be a light source and good neighbour if they look like the ones in Harry Potter. Eleanor Alice R., 3rd year FTT: If the ghosts were former students, they'd probably just want to steal your Netflix and your Wi-Fi password. I'm fine with that. Aaron W., 3rd year History: As long as they clean up after themselves I'm cool with that. How many pumpkin spiced lattes have you REALLY had this month?

TJ Hiew, 3rd year Law: Wait, what? OMG I better go get one like NOW! Ari C., 1st year English Lit: None :( Wing Lam Kar, 3rd year Law: None! I still had the Autumn Bliss! Eleanor Alice R., 3rd year FTT: At least 10. I'm reaching true white girl status. Jenna P., 3rd year History: I don't like pumpkin spiced lattes. I'm sorry. Aaron W., 3rd year History: I take tea I'm afraid.

Angry Birds, the film, has been confirmed with big stars including Peter Dinklage from Game of Thrones. The question that has been asked most often is, “Why are these birds so angry?” What are your thoughts? TJ Hiew, 3rd year Law: Who isn't if their things are constantly stolen by the same culprit? Ari C., 1st year English Lit: Please tell me this is a joke. We're making movies out of

HOROSCOPE

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horoscope

MYSTIC MICHAEL

Find out what the stars are saying about you this month...

Horoscopes Writer

Aries

LIBRA SEPTEMBER 24th- OCTOBER 23rd

ARIES MARCH 21st-APRIL 20th Funnily enough, Aries, you’ll find people usually don’t like talking about what matters the most to them. This month, however, you’ll find those around you to become more open and willing to share things with you, so return the good faith by sharing your own feelings. By letting those close to you know that you’re worthy of their trust, especially by placing your trust in them, you may make some new friends and strengthen ties with old ones.

libra

SCORPIO OCTOBER 24th-NOVEMBER 22nd

TAURUS APRIL 21st-MAY21st Taurus

Gemini

Nobody appreciates hard work and determination more than you, Taurus. With deadlines now on the horizon, you might start to feel the pressure building (bet you didn’t need me to tell you that.) But here’s some good news: your natural tenacity will not fail you in the coming weeks, and you’ll be glad you put in the work early on. Expect some breakthroughs (big or small) in your work very soon.

Scorpio

SAGITTARIUS NOVEMBER 23rd-DECEMBER 21st

The good news this month, Gemini, is that a modest financial boon will be coming your way soon. The bad news? It’s been there for a while now and you haven’t noticed it! As always with the stars, this could simply mean something as small as change down the back of the furniture, but who knows? Don’t forget to talk to those close to you, your forecast shows that they’ll be giving you some great advice this month.

Fun times are on the horizon, Sagittarius. The stars are telling me that you shall likely meet lots of new friends in the coming weeks. Being as adaptable as you are to new situations, you’re sure to attract a wide range of new best buds: perhaps you’ll form some life-long bonds, perhaps you’ll just meet some great people to drink with, but this is good news either way.

Sagittarius

CAPRICORN DECEMBER 22nd- JANUARY 20th I don’t know about you, Capricorn, but I just love it when the leaves start falling at the beginning of autumn. The stars say that Capricorn the coming weeks mark not only the beginning of autumn, but the beginning of a new long-term project for you. What this project will be is ultimately up to you of course, but whatever you do is sure to be exciting, since (as a Capricorn) you will surely have the natural drive to see through to the end.

Message your old friends every now and then, Cancer; they say that new friends are silver but old ones are gold. This month, you may find yourself reminiscing a little more than usual about the good old days. I suggest you take the initiative and talk about the good old days with good old friends. Just don’t forget to look ahead to the future, because exciting things are sure to be in store for you.

LEO JULY 24th-AUGUST 23rd leo

virgo

Found some money behind the furniture recently, Scorpio? Well, there’s more where that came from: the stars tell me that you’ll be particularly lucky in your endeavours this month. Whether it be work or play, you’re sure to have a spring in your step in the coming weeks. Your wilful disposition shall serve you well, I suggest you take advantage of your good fortune and try something new and exciting.

GEMINI MAY 22nd-JUNE 21st

CANCER JUNE 22nd-JULY 23rd Cancer

Enough worrying about work, Libra. It’s important to do well, of course, but you have to remember to let yourself relax and have fun every now and then. This month, the stars predict a deep personal development for you in the social sphere, so make the most of it. You are social by nature (even if you don’t know it), so this is some great news. Just remember to get all your work done before you let loose.

AQUARIUS JANUARY 21st -FEBUARY 19th

Concealed from your attention, Leo, there’s a great social opportunity that’s been sitting under your nose for some time, which the stars say will now finally come to reveal itself. Though you’re somewhat fixed in your ways, you know how to let loose every now and then, and now’s a good time to do just that. Don’t get too carried away, but remember that this month will be amonth for adventure!

Last thing you need when worrying about essay deadlines is to also have to worry about how much money you’re spending. Thankfully the stars say that this month, you will experience a personal development with Aquarius regard to your financial and money-managing skills. Of course, this is going to be great news for any student, Aquarius, especially if you happen to be doing a degree in accounting.

VIRGO AUGUST 24th- SEPTEMBER 23rd

PISCES FEBUARY 20th-MARCH 20th

Time to get to work, Virgo! The stars are telling me that this month, your practical skills will be put to the test. Whether this means you’ll be pulling a car down runway using only your teeth, or simply assembling some new flatpack furniture, only time will tell. Don’t you worry though, being as resourceful as you are, you’ll have nothing to worry about (just don’t forget to read the instructions!)

Potatoes, bacon, egg and sausages. If the stars are right, this ought to be a great celebratory meal to celebrate a great professional opportunity coming your way in the next few weeks. This is surely great news, Pisces, and it will surely put your communication skills to use. Perhaps it could mean an acceptance at a placement, or a new part-time job: time will surely tell. I wish you luck.

Pisces

Went to Ascot? Join Rory Ford as he shares his day at the races

American Football Check out our exclusive interview with the Captains from American Football

Wage cap Should a wage cap be introduced in Football? Nathaniel Littler investigates

Golden Generation Join Adam Starsmeare as he provides a postmortem of England's most recent World Cup failure

SPORT

Mass Daytrip to Ripped Gym, Harlow for a Group Training Session

MASS: The Muscle and Athletic Sports Society DANNY WARD

3rd Year Biological Sciences

Visited the gym on campus recently? Seen anyone wearing a MASS shirt and wondered what on earth it was on about? We are The Muscle and Athletics Sports Society, Reading’s complete fitness society! Although we have only been

around for a few years now, we are growing and fast. We focus on various types of sports exercise from general "keep-fit" all the way to fully competitive powerlifting, Olympic weightlifting, CrossFit®, strongman/woman, bodybuilding and physique competitions and more so we are kept very busy as a society! We have had many athletes who have already competed, some of which

at a national level all of whom performed exceptionally well. Our goal as a society is to try and encourage student fitness across campus as well as across the entirety of Reading for that matter, trying to motivate as many people as we can to look after their health and to actually enjoy exercising all while making good progress in the gym all while providing a strong, friendly community of students all

with similar interests. It’s far too easy to fall into the stereotypical student trap when you first arrive at university, where every meal consists of Super Noodles washed down with a refreshing snakebite with the only exercise consisting of walking to and from lectures; believe me, we’ve all been there at some point! Getting a proper diet down and a consistent gym

or exercise schedule is a great first step in looking after your health which is something I am sure we all are striving for, no matter how many times you may have said “I’ll start tomorrow”. Nutritional seminars, guest speakers, technique sessions and group workouts are just a small fraction of all the sessions we are running this year, perfect for anyone that want to kick their

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These Gals Can SARAH GRIFFITHS 3rd Year Geography

fitness up a notch, get into shape and are also a great way to meet like-minded friendly people. We are just a bunch of students just like anyone else all of whom just so happened to have got bitten by the gym bug. I personally just started to go to the gym simply to lose a little bit of weight, not a clue what I was doing but with time I slowly started to get more and more into it and lo and behold, I eventually started to enjoy going. I now strive for 6 days in the gym which to the uninitiated may seem ever so slightly excessive but for a regular gym goer it’s completely the norm. With each day I see a minute bit of progress which over time adds up and that is why I and

so many others keep coming back for more. Of course everyone has to start somewhere and we want to be the very first port of call for every student’s fitness journey. We also want to support those who have been in the gym for years and want to take their progress to the next level. It is our ambition to help as many people as we can in whatever way we can. Interested in what we do? Why not come along to one of our sessions to see what we are all about or check us out across all of our social media pages, search for “MASS Reading”. Join the student fitness revolution today!

Mass Reading at the MASS London Regional Powerlifting Credit to Dom Coe-O’Brien

Summer 2015 hosted the 7th FIFA Women’s world cup. With a record breaking 24 teams competing, it was the U.S that lifted the trophy following a spectacular final win against Japan and Canada scoring 112 goals, it was a momentous event for Women’s football. Our English lionesses made us proud coming in 3rd place and so our Reading University Women’s Football Team has seen a rise in numbers, ability and opportunity which we are hoping will make this year our best yet. 5th-11th October 2015 was Women’s football week and following the fresher’s week taster sessions the two university teams, both returners and freshers, have undertaken a variety of activities. The week started with a social on Saturday where a group of the girls had a hilarious foot-golf session which, unsurprisingly, ended up in union and so Sunday was a casual kick-about followed by a proper training session on Tuesday. On the Wednesday two teams went road tripping to Royal Holloway to compete in a 7-a-side tournament for Cancer Research UK and despite the rain had a fab day out completed with a team take-away. Both teams did us proud with one coming in third and the other smashing it and winning the tournament. Thursday was another busy day as one of our coaches, Georgia Graham from Reading FC community trust, took several of the girls to a local school to assist in a coaching session which was highly rewarding for both our team members and the school pupils. This was followed by another social as they really improve our teamwork and then a couple days rest ready for another Sunday training session. The whole week has been a great success and so we are making these activities a regular commitment. Our training session for both teams is every Tuesday 6-8pm rain or shine on the Astro and Sunday will eventually swap from training/fitness to Soccercise, a ball based fitness activity. We have two Coaches Jack Pottinger and Georgia Graham who ensure we keep improving, learn new

Credit to RUWFC

skills but all the while having fun so we play to the best of our ability in matches. Matches are played either home or away on a Wednesday afternoon and anyone is welcome to come along to a training session throughout the year. Social activities are a big part of RUWFC as alongside the football we all need a little fun. In a few weeks we are heading to the TV Studio of the Football League

Tonight show to watch live. Other events such as the foot-golf session, a casual park bar visit, fancy-dress to the union or a more gentle come dine with me evening will occur throughout the year. The RUWFC committee have got a lot planned as well as the larger scale events such as going on tour and varsity. The upcoming year will provide a lot of fun, laughs and some excellent wins along the way.

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Join the Surf Safari with RUSC! RUSC COMMITTEE

It is 9am on Reading University Surf Club’s latest surf safari, this time it is in the Algarve, Portugal. Suffering from a mild hangover, and some sand in my ear, I munch into Dream Sea Portugal’s breakfast buffet. A picture of Jesus Christ hangs on the wall of the breakfast marquee and judges all those hungover. It looks like everyone is also suffering in the same position as me – one guy wakes up with no trousers and a lifeguard’s whistle around his neck. He happens to be the Treasurer. The fresh, enticing scent of the sea cures me to my core – the waves are calling, but first is the warm up. The fit 6 foot Aussie instructor tells me I need to rotate my hips, but it is too early for that kind of motion. The girls, however, have no problem jumping to his instruction. After practising the ‘1, 2, 3’ technique with the instructors on the shore, we embrace the ocean. I wade in but suddenly an oncoming rush of water threatens, it is sink or surf, so I paddle. Three stokes in and the wave propels me forward. “1”, I push up my torso, “2” raise the right leg, “3” standing with both legs! Splash! I nose dive and bail into the water. I hear a muffled roar of cheers from under the water as the rest of Reading University Surf Club applaud my first successful ride of

a wave; I have earnt a free beer. Not for the surfing, but for the most spectacular wipe-out of the week so far. I’ll take it. Hours on the beach sunbathing, Frisbee-ing, and constructing a gigantic sand sofa end in a hiatus in a hammock. As the beer begins to kick in dinner is served, the sun goes down, and before you can say Mr Zoggs the night has begun. The beach becomes a playground for Flunky Ball, a drinking game of strategy, skill and the ability to precisely down beer. A perfect sport for the further dysfunction of dysfunctional adults. Reading University Surf Club are dedicated to enhancing the student experience by providing cheap weekend surf trips twice a term, as well as regular social events throughout the year with a massive week long international trip, previously visiting France, Spain, Portugal and Morocco. We provide trained instructors, who are currently students at the University, who have a passion for teaching and improving peoples’ surf skills—at all levels. The membership fee for the club is one of the cheapest sports clubs fee at the University of Reading. For only £15.15 you will be provided with fully organised packages where the only skill required is the ability to have fun. We are famous for our crazy fancy dress, friendliness and hilarious nights out and hope to have even more members join in the fun with us this year. Credit to RUSC

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Captain's Corner

GEORGE ROBERTS 2nd Year English Literature

Photo by Manon Jones

We have interviewed the Captains of the American Football Team to get a feel for what it’s like to play one of the most challenging sports on campus and their hopes for the upcoming season. Me: Hi guys, please introduce yourselves and your positions on the team. Ian Stevens: I’m Ian, I’m vice president for the team, I play quarter back, and I’m one of the defen-sive captains. Uba Emole: Hi, I’m Uba and I play defensive tackle, and am also one of the defensive captains. Will Holmes: Hi I’m Will, I play tight end, and I’m one of the offensive captains. Me: Thanks for coming guys, first question: how did you find fresher’s fortnight? I: Freshers was good. It was super busy, so many people. We had a lot of the team down to just create that atmosphere - running around, promoting, it was good. W: Our aim this year was to beat our record of over 200 sign ups, and we managed to get 306. U: And about 100 showed up for rookie day. I: The coaches said it was the biggest recruitment drive they'd seen ever - we need more kit to fit the rookies. W: (laughing) It’s a major logistics problem. Me: So you guys are all captains, how are you finding the responsibility and how are you dealing with it? U: I’m embracing the responsibility. Last year I felt like maybe at times the team itself wasn't at the forefront of

my mind. But now as a captain I realise that the rookies look up to me, and I’ve got to set an example on the pitch. W: It’s a big drive in training for us as well, everyone’s looking at us to set the precedent and how hard we’re working and stuff like that, so it drives us to work that little bit harder in every training session, to try and get the whole team following in my footsteps. I: It’s a big responsibility obviously, I’ve played two years now, I’m going into my third year so the first two years you follow the other captains - there’s always someone else doing it. And then you think hang on a minute - now it’s my responsibility to do that, you have to turn up to training early, you have to be there every time, you can’t go out the night before, because if you turn up hungover that looks bad on the team, and you get bawled out by the coaches. It is responsibility but it’s good. It helps you step up your game. Me: You've obviously got a lot of new rookies this year. How are they looking? U: We've got some good rookies - especially athletic ones. Everything else they can learn easily, like the playbook, and other little nuances in the game. I: Some of the veterans are worried, because these rookies are putting in effort. Every new sea-son we start fresh, nobody’s guaranteed to be starting, it doesn't matter if you're a veteran player. You work for your spot on the field. Me: You haven't started the season yet but you've got games coming soon, physically and

Photo by Nathalie Siah

Credit to RU:ON

mentally how are you preparing for the games? U: I’ve been training since July really. Since July I’ve just been gymming and eating right so I’m ready. W: I think for everyone it’s just getting as many reps on the field as possible. Install our new playbook as quickly as possible. The big thing that helps us with game preparation that’s different to other teams is that we pit our offence and defence against each other. We put ourselves into proper game situations against one another, and we’ll be going as hard as we will in the games. Me: Coming up you've got an away game against Kings College. Now you've got some new blood, are you optimistic about that game? U: Quietly optimistic. We beat them last year, and I’m not saying that because we won last time that the result will repeat itself,

but looking at our preparation, the rookies we've got in, we should be optimistic. I: They’re preparing hard, we’re preparing hard. We just have to work hard and go into the game believing we can win - and we can. We are ready for this season! Me: American football is a sport in this country that’s growing and growing. Do you think more and more people are going to be coming with more enthusiasm as the profile for the sport gets bigger? W: Definitely. Last Sunday there was a game at Wembley. Next year that will be driving people as it was on the BBC this year. People are going to be watching that and coming to university next year wanting to play. I: I knew nothing about it until I started playing, and that’s what’s great about it. To people in the UK American Football is a brand new sport, everyone starts from

scratch, and I think that’s quite motivating for people joining a new sport. U: There’s also this misconception that you have to be a certain size to play. People would say oh, I’m not as big as you, so I can’t play; but there are positions for practically every body size - if you're committed enough you can play American football. Me: Finally, who are your favourite NFL sides? I: I’m a Miami Dolphins fan, the only family link I have is to Miami. U: I lived in California, and you're usually supposed to support your home team but I don’t. My team are the Green Bay Packers. W: For me it’s the Oakland Raiders, they're quite a disappointing team to support. Thanks to the team for answering questions and best of luck for the season ahead.

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Arrogant England cannot afford to rely on another ‘golden generation’

ADAM STARSMEARES 3rd Year Ancient History & History

Well, it was a bit of a disappointment in the end. After all the build up, the hopeful ambition that England would be able to ride the crest of a wave of home support and secure a second Rugby World Cup triumph in 2015, they were instead undone by familiar frailties, suffering the indignity of becoming the first ever host nation to crash out at the pool stages of a World Cup. It was on this grandest of stages that the insular mindset of English rugby suffered the most damning indictment that it has ever endured. Inevitably, the inquest into why England have fallen so spectacularly short at their own World Cup has begun in earnest, and a list of scapegoats hastily drawn up (Head Coach Stuart Lancaster, Defence Coach Andy Farrell and ex-Rugby League convert Sam Burgess have been the early targets). But the problems with Rugby Union in this country run too deeply to be attributed to one particular individual or group of individuals. England’s lack of discipline has been a perennial issue for many years now, even for the all-conquering vintage of 2003 that inexplicably ceded penalty after penalty in an agonising second half against Australia in the World Cup final (albeit on the way to a gloriously dramatic victory). Personnel have changed in the twelve years since, but the problem remains. Never was this better illustrated in this year’s tournament than in the heartbreaking 28-25 defeat to Wales, where England, despite exhibiting an impressively expansive brand of rugby and outplaying their opponents for the majority of the match, failed to adapt to the whims of a particularly officious referee, conceding twelve penalties in total, and they were duly punished with the squandering of a 10-point lead in a calamitous last half an hour (thanks in no small part to

the pinpoint accuracy of Wales’ Dan Biggar). Simply put, England give away far more penalties than any other top tier nation, and until this problem is adequately addressed, they will have scant hope of seriously competing for World Cups unless another 2003esque golden generation emerges unlikely given that the next Jonny Wilkinson or Martin Johnson doesn’t seem to be on the horizon any time soon. But this then leads one on to the question of exactly how England would go about remedying such a long-term Achilles’ heel. This debate cannot be definitively settled until tangible results have been enjoyed, but there is one avenue, heresy though it may be to English rugby’s higher-ups, that is yet to be explored. That is the employment of foreign coaching, or more specifically the drafting of coaches from the southern hemisphere giants of Australia, New Zealand and South Africa. New Zealand is undoubtedly the premium example here, a country of just over 4.5 million people that has constantly been established amongst the world’s top two or three rugby nations since the inaugural World Cup in 1987. This remarkable aptitude for rugby in New Zealand exists not just in the players but also in the coaches, as shown by the remarkable jobs that Warren Gatland and Joe Schmidt have done in transforming the fortunes of Wales and Ireland respectively. England, as Lawrence Dallaglio rightly pointed out in the build-up to England’s dead rubber final pool match against Uruguay, having won just one Six Nations championship in the last twelve years. Such struggles to overwhelm even continental rivals are unacceptable when one considers that the RFU is the richest union in world rugby, and illustrates just how far away England are from being of World Cup-winning class. It is important that the intentions of this article are not misunderstood - the suggestion here is by no means that the implementation of southern hemisphere coaching represents the perfect solution to England’s ills, but rather that it is just about the only would-be resolution that

Credit to Flickr photographer -bixentro

is yet to be attempted. England are, quite frankly, in no position to be pedantic about the country of origin of those that it hires to assist in achieving its’ aim of a return to the upper echelons of world rugby - they are simply not good enough to be so. For all the criticism in the wake of England’s premature exit, Stuart Lancaster has not actually done an awful lot wrong in his time as England Head Coach, but one of his more bizarre decisions has surely been his insistence upon a Premiership-only policy when selecting England’s squad.

This somewhat misplaced confidence in the quality of England’s domestic league has deprived the national team of the talents of Steffon Armitage - a key player for European champions Toulon - and is yet more evidence of the unfounded sense of inherent superiority that still exists in English rugby circles. Should Lancaster remain as Head Coach, the merits of this policy must surely be reviewed. So, from England’s abrupt departure to Paloma Faith’s punishing rendition of ‘World in

Union’, there’s no doubting that this World Cup has been tough to endure. But it’s not all doom and gloom, as England boast a talented young squad that could go far in future - they just need the right coaching framework to work in, along with a desire to finally address age-old weaknesses.

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'Klopp to the Kop': What can the German bring to Anfield?

Credit to Flickr photographer Asia Joanna

OLLIE WEEDEN Sports Editor

'Klopp to the Kop' was the rallying cry issued by many a Liverpool fan upon Brendan Rodgers' 'crisis talks' with Liverpool owners after the club's disastrous end to last season. As it happened, Rodgers was spared the sack, with assistant manager Colin Pascoe and first team coach instead being shown the exit. This began a summer of change at the club, with ex-England U19 manager Sean O'Driscoll being appointed as Rodgers' assistant and former Liverpool midfielder Gary McAllister joining the coaching staff. Combined with the club's swiftly made moves in the transfer market, beating traditional rivals Manchester United to the signings of both Roberto Firmino and Nathaniel Clyne, the fans saw reason to believe that this season could herald a fresh start for the Merseyside outfit. However, this was not to be, as results came slow and familiar defensive problems, which plagued the team last season, once again began to emerge. Then came the inevitable, only an hour

after Liverpool's 1-1 draw with local rivals Everton the club had confirmed the departure of their manager. Much speculation was made as to a successor, but it seemed there was only one name on fan's lips. On the evening of October 8th, Klopp's appointment was confirmed, spreading some newfound optimism amongst the club's fanbase. Not long after, ex-Borussia Dortmund staff Zeljko Buvac and Peter Krawietz (Klopp's 'brain and eye' at Liverpool) were hired as part of the German's backroom team. So what can Klopp bring to the club? Many have commented that it would not be a surprise to see Klopp's signature gegenpressing tactic employed. Whilst many may argue over who is the best playmaker in the world, Klopp believes that nothing creates more chances than gegenpressing. “The best moment to win the ball is immediately after you lost it” Klopp has said. “The opponent is still looking for orientation where to pass the ball. He will have his eyes off the game to make his tackle or interception and he will have expended energy. Both make him vulnerable.” In itself, this may not sound like a revolutionary idea. However, the genius lies in how managers such as Klopp and

Guardiola (another pioneer of this tactic) were able to capatalise on this realisation. Most importantly, a team has to be compact. If there are spaces when a team is pressing, it will be relatively easy for the opposition to simply thread passes through the gaps. Arrigo Sacchi, the original architect of this tactic with his Milan side in the 1980s, referred to an ideal of 25m between the most advanced man and the back four. There is also a requirement for a certain degree of adaption and fluidity (for instance, the right winger moving inside when the ball is on the left). At Barcelona, Guardiola used to operate on a 'one and three principal.' That is, when the ball is lost, one man goes straight to it whilst three others look to cut out passing angles. However, a team must also understand when to stop pressing. No side can ever hunt the ball down relentlessly. Partly due to fatigue, and partly due to if the team fail to win back the ball immediately it is quite straightforward for the opposition to simply play a long ball forward behind the pressing defence (one of the reasons which make sweeper keepers so valuable). Gegenpressing would also require the wide players in a 4-2-3-1 formation to fall back

alongside the midfield whilst off the ball to form two traditional 'banks of four'. This will spell bad news for Adam Lallana, someone who has only finished 11 of the 24 games he has started for club and country this year and will most likely mean James Milner being confined to a wide right position despite his hopes that he would be played more centrally at Liverpool. For all its merits, it is a complex tactic which is markedly different from Brendan Rodgers' 'philosophy' so we may well be waiting several weeks before Klopp can affect any systematic tactical change. The beginnings though could arguably already be seen in Liverpool's 0-0 draw with Tottenham last weekend. With all the hype and media attention afforded to Klopp you may be forgiven for thinking that this was a poor start to the German's reign. This would, however, be a misguided opinion. Tottenham have not lost a game since the opening day of the season (via an own goal to Manchester United) whilst Liverpool had won only one of their last six Premier League games and are missing no fewer than eight first team players through injury. Rather predictably, Rodgers' tried and tested 3-4-1-2 formation had been scrapped in

favour of Klopp's more stable 4-2-3-1. This meant a first start of the season as a left back for Alberto Moreno while Mamadou Sakho and Martin Skrtel paired in defence. Something not seen since Liverpool's 6-1 thrashing by Stoke City upon the final day of last season. Another major change was deploying James Milner out wide on the right, a position he made his own at Manchester City. Crucially, the statistics came out in line with Klopp's tactics, when it was revealed that Liverpool had become the first team to outrun Mauricio Pochettino's side this season and covered more ground than during any of their previous fixtures this season. Klopp's first home game will be against Rubin Kazan, a side Liverpool will have to beat to remain competetive in their Europa League group. It will be interesting to see whether Klopp will field a full strength eleven (with Sturridge possibly being fit by then) or instead opt for a rotated side with one eye on his first league home game against Southampton only three days later. The foundations have been laid, but it will be results on the pitch that will ultimately judge Klopp, just as they did Rodgers.

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A tough start for Irish as the Exiles fall prey to the Tigers OLLIE WEEDEN Sports Editor

London Irish winger Topsy Ojo sin binned for a high tackle as ill discipline and too many unforced errors saw the Exiles suffer a 28-16 defeat against Leicester Tigers in the opening game of their Aviva Premiership campaign. Irish, to their credit, remained positive throughout, relentlessly attacking Leicester' back line. They were, however, not clinical enough as no fewer than 19 handling errors proved costly. Things hardly began well, with Irish conceding a penalty only 90 seconds into the match, coolly dispatched by Leicester fly half Tommy Bell, in what was to be his first of seven on the day. The Exiles then launched a fierce counter attack spearheaded by new signing Brendan McKibbin, ending with the Tigers being

penalised. This could not be taken advantage of though as Chris Oakes missed the proceeding penalty with a scuffed first shot on goal. Things then went from bad to worse as an intercepted pass saw Tigers centre Peter Betham cruise unopposed to the try line. It was then where the hosts were reduced to 14 men as pacey winger Topsy Ojo was shown a yellow card for a high tackle on Lachlan McGaffery. This, rather than damage the side's morale, seemed to galvanise the team as the Exiles ferociously attacked once more to win another penalty high up the pitch. Rather than take a simple shot at goal, skipper George Skivington kicked to the corner and forced the ball over the line in a rolling mall. A conversion by Noakes make it 13-10 to the Tigers, putting the home side within touching distance. Noakes and Bell then exchanged two more penalties

Flying Solow

Credit to Jess O'Donnell

RORY FORD 3rd Year Law

On Saturday 17th October Ascot Racecourse staged the finale of flat racing in Britain in the form of

QIPCO British Champions Day. With prize money of over four million the stars were certainly out to win their share. The day was also particularly special for students with Ascot offering students free entry, and included

and the sides went in at the break 19-13 up. The second half began in much the same style as the first, with Irish pressing for more but letting themselves down with many handling errors at crucial times, costing themselves points. The Tigers then seemed to smell blood and began to dominate upfront, with bulky substitute Optei Founa bullying his way over the line, only to see his effort chalked off due to his fumbling of the ball before it was grounded. The Exiles could only then hope to survive the onslaught, with Bell slotting two more penalties, the first with only four minutes remaining on the clock. Irish ran it close in the end, with Topsy Ojo again popping up to carve through Leicester's defence, but it was not to be, as the visitor's held out and Bell scored his final penalty to make it, in the end, a 28-16 win to Leicester.

was a designated student area, complimentary scarves and race cards. With Ascot being a short train journey away from Reading this was the perfect opportunity for many to go and enjoy a day at the races. Students who took the opportunity certainly could not have been disappointed as they were treated to some breath taking performances. Most notably from the flying grey Solow and the latest sprinting superstar Muhaarar. Both were very popular winners for viewers as both began as favourites for their respective races. However those having a flutter did have it all their own way with well fancied favourite Jack Hobbs being upset by Fascinating Rock. First up was Muhaarar who came into the six furlong race having already shown himself as one of the rising stars of the sprinting division. However few expected him to win so easily against such a high class field. His jockey Paul Hanagan always had him close to the leaders and just before the one furlong marker he allowed his mount to power to the front. Once there

Credit to Pinnacle

the race was never in doubt and Muhaarar went on the score by two lengths. Back in second was the previously unbeaten, second favourite, Twilight Son. A short while later it was the turn of the best one miler horses to do battle. Pre-race most of the reports surrounded three-yearold Gleneagles. These reports all speculated as to whether he would run or not. However after so much doubt throughout the days prior to the race he ran. This race now became one of the biggest match ups of the season. It pitted proven superstar Solow against the ‘new kid on the block’ Gleneagles. However it was the former who showed his true ability to win a race worth over one million pounds. Solow pounced over one furlong out and ran on gamely all the way to the finishing post to win. Outsider Belardo chased him home whilst Gleneagles was all the way back in sixth which was an extremely disappointing display for a horse who had promised so much. Fans had to wait till the penultimate race to see the biggest prize pool. With over one and a quarter million on offer,

it is fair to say this is one of the biggest races in the year. Going into the race Jack Hobbs was a heavy favourite and gamblers were still choosing him up until the start of the race. He eventually went off even money favourite. However Jack Hobbs was unable to overcome an unfavourable draw and eventually finished third. It was Dermot Weld trained Fascinating Rock who upset the favourite going on to win by a length and a quarter. Fascinating Rock’s jockey Pat Smullen held the four-year-old up towards the rear of the field and got a charmed passage as his sliced his way through to take the lead inside the final furlong. Overall, it was a great day’s racing and everyone seemed to go home happy despite the cold conditions. If Ascot give students the opportunity of free tickets once more next year I would certainly recommend you take them. It may just spark your interest with one of the Nation’s most historic sports.

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More money? No problem NATHANIEL LITTLER 1st Year Law

It is a common complaint from many people, both supporters of football and apathetic alike, that footballers in leagues such as the Premier League and La Liga are on huge salaries. This has led to calls from many for the FA to impose restrictions on a team’s total wage bill, in a scheme akin to that of American sports leagues such as the NHL and NFL. This allegedly keeps the competition fair, and means that teams cannot ‘buy’ their way to a trophy. However, it is not always the case, and restrictions on a team's expenditure on wages would actually be both a mistake and potentially damaging to the League, and by association, the leagues in the Premier League. There are a number of ways that the Premier League could go about restricting the wage bills of the teams in the league. First of all, they could follow in the steps of the American leagues mentioned earlier, and have a numerical limit on the amount that each team can spend on wages. For example, in the NHL (National Hockey League) the salary cap is set at $71.4 million for the coming year. This means that no team can go above this limit when signing or extending player contracts. The idea for this is that the league will be much more competitive, as the wealthier teams cannot outbid the smaller teams for players, which is a common occurrence in football in the UK. It would be highly unlikely that many players would sign a contract with a team such as Bournemouth when Manchester City are offering a contact with the typical inflated wages. If you think that players want to move to a bigger club for a better chance to win, you are mistaken nine times out of ten. Players are willing to move to Manchester City and sit on the bench as Manchester City are going to offer massive wages, whereas a smaller team simply cannot. However, I would argue that, firstly, this is not necessarily a bad thing. Owners throwing money at the best players in the world signifies the desire to win, which

is shared by the supporters of the team. It is not surprising that the supporters of a winning team are very unlikely to feel animosity towards the players, but a losing fan is the one who will make the original arguments that players get paid too much to kick a ball around a field on a Saturday afternoon. Fans are fickle, this is nothing new. Secondly, the type of salary cap shown above is simply not an option. Teams such as Bournemouth simply do not have the same financial backing as larger teams. Therefore, the salary cap advocates must look elsewhere for their ‘Golden Plan’ to make the league more competitive. On a side note, high wage bills do not translate into high league positions. Last season, Sunderland had the tenth highest wage bill, and had they not followed their three-step strategy of playing poor, sacking the manager, then magically playing well, would have been relegated last year. On the other side of the coin, Southampton ranked 15th in the league in the size of their wage bill, sold a lot of big players, and still managed 7th in the League, just missing out on European football. As a final note, reducing salaries of players would simply force them to look elsewhere to play football. It is as simple as that. If you think footballers are some altruistic saints who play football solely for the love of the game you are way off the mark. I am not saying money is their only aim, but it is a big one. These are athletes who have invariably come from nothing and have worked their way to where they are. I say they deserve to get paid. I say that we should be trying to make the league as attractive as possible to foreign players, so our teams can get better, and be more globally competitive. When you complain that players get paid too much, just be honest with yourself and question whether you would still complain if your team won trophies. You may surprise yourself.

Credit to Ian C

Credit to thethreesisters

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Premier League at risk of losing 4th champions league spot GEORGE ROBERTS 2nd Year English Literature

After another set of disappointing results for English teams in European competitions, the possibility of the ‘top four’ being reduced to the ‘top three’ is becoming more and more real. In England, we have grown used to our top teams striving for a ‘top four’ place in the Premier League, and with it, a place in the esteemed Champions League. Often the battle for a place in the top four is more exciting than the title race itself, as we saw last year when second, third, and fourth place went down to the wire after Chelsea won the title with three games remaining. However, in the rest of Europe, four is not the norm. Only the top three ranked countries in Europe are afforded four champions league places in their first divisions, the rest have three or less. England are currently in the top three along with Spain and Germany, however, due to the way UEFA ranks teams based on points, there is a real possibility that this year England could be overtaken by Italy - meaning in 2017, when the results from this year are first taken into account, we’ll be down to 3 Champions League places. Points are awarded to countries when their teams in European competition record wins and draws, and when they advance to the later stages of the competition. Last year, all of the English teams in the Champions league had been knocked out by the round of 16 - nobody made it

Credit to Mikamanko

to the quarter finals. We didn't do much better in the Europa League either, with our best performing team being Everton who also only made it to the round of 16. Italy, on the other hand, had a very successful season in Europe - with Juventus making it to the Champions League final, and both Napoli and Fiorentina making it to the Europa League semifinals. As a result, Italy outperformed us by 19 points and this season they lie only 3 points behind us - so any kind of repeat of last season would leave us with almost no chance of holding onto that precious fourth spot - and with all but Man Utd outside of the qualification places with two games played already, that is looking more and more

likely. So why does it matter if to Pinnacle weCredit lose a Champions League place? Everyone in the Premier League will be affected: at the top, world class players will turn down offers from English clubs in favour of teams in Germany, Spain, and Italy. The best players won’t want to play over here if there's a risk that they won’t be competing in the Champions League every year, and in England, the competition will be fiercer than its ever been before. For the teams in the middle, descent into insignificance is looking increasingly likely. Even the most optimistic of Liverpool, Tottenham, and Everton fans will struggle to argue how their team will have

a chance of Champions League qualification. And although they don't regularly aim for European places, surprise packages such as last year’s Southampton (7th place), or 2011’s Newcastle (5th place) will be a thing of the past, as an impossible task becomes 25% harder, don't be surprised if the league becomes a lot less exciting as we see Chelsea, Man City, Arsenal, and Man Utd slug it out at the top year after year, without anyone else having a look in. Many would argue that’s what already happens, and they're pretty much right, but the Premier League is special because it’s full of surprises - but one less Champions League place might just remove the element of surprise from our game.

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