Spark 20120203 - Vol. 59, Issue 2

2

Friday 3.2.12 Volume 59

Issue

Get involved with Olympic What’s themed Universities Week Inside?

Interview

8

Housing tips from the experts

Beauty

24

Make-up tips from a pro

Photographs from www.sparkonline.co.uk Zoe Crook

The role of universities within London’s upcoming 2012 Olympic Games is to be the focus of this year’s Universities Week.

For the third year running, the annual week, spanning from 30 April to 7 May, demonstrates the role of universities within society.

Having focused last year on student finance and big ideas for society, business and the future, with the Olympics only a few months away, it appears to be a key opportunity to raise awareness of universities’ sporting capabilities.

Universities are expected to hold events expressing their input to the games Being widely publicized last year, appearing in daily newspapers, and on television shows, such as Daybreak, BBC Radio 2 and BBC News, a large participation is predicted for this year.

Universities past, present and future preparations for the games will be examined, exploring both their training of athletes and providing facilities for students and local communities. Universities will also give accommodation for some of the participating athletes and teams in the games.

Coordinated by Universities UK and British Universities & Colleges Sport (BUCS), the BUCS outdoor athletics championships will be held within the Olympic Stadium, Stratford, London. Not only allowing students the opportunity to witness the stadium prior to the games, but to act as a test event, part of the London Prepares series.

Reading University Knight’s Athletics have planned on competing within the event, taking place on Saturday 5th May. Tickets for the event are available through Ticketmaster, found on the official Olympic website.

A ‘Be a Commentator’ competition will also be held throughout the week. NUS will provide the winning student with the opportu-

nity to commentate alongside John Inverdale at the Olympic Park.

Universities are expected to hold events expressing their input to the games, and sport in general.

With one hundred and ten universities participating last year, averaging holding three events each, similar numbers are expected this year.

Reading University Knight’s Athletics have planned on competing within the event With the weekly schedule already released, universities have plenty of time to plan events. Monday consists of the dispelling myths around fees, followed by Tuesday focusing on the impact of HE on local economy, Wednesday then draws attention to non-economic/ societal benefits. Penultimately, Thursday considers research of the future, with Friday finalising on a 24-hour Twitter (#UniWeek).

Last year, Professor Gordon Marshall, Vice Chancellor of

the University, stated: “We are extremely proud of the value that the University of Reading adds to our region’s culture and economy.

Not only do our staff and students generate world-leading research in areas such as climate science, nutrition, heart disease and sustainable buildings, but we also assist hundreds of businesses in the area to deliver solutions, and train over 3,000 new members of the workforce every year.”

Health

27

Paddington Bear: The patron of National Marmalade week

This a key opportunity to raise awareness of university’s sporting capabilities With organisers of the event seeking universities and students participation in establishing events throughout the week, why not ask a sporting team about getting involved? Alternatively you could contact the Student Union about either organising, or participating in an event.

Travel

32

Marvellous Margate?

2 News

Friday 3 Febuary 2012 Spark*

news.spark@reading.ac.uk

Holocaust Memorial Day held at Reading Chayya Syal

Reading University Jewish Society (RUJS) commemorated Holocaust Memorial Day on Friday 27 January. They held a talk that was hosted by guest speaker Marcia Perkins from the Imperial War Museum.

Holocaust Memorial Day (HMD) has always been held on 27 January, as it marks the day that Russia liberated the infamous concentration camp Auschwitz.

HMD has been commemorated in the UK since 2001. In 2005 the United Nations (UN) declared it an International Day for remembrance and contemporary action.

HMD was recognised by universities across the country, with vigils and even guest speeches by holocaust survivors.

The event is always held on 27 January, the day Russia liberated Auschwitz The day honours the millions of people who were murdered in the Holocaust and those who survived it, and offered the chance to learn the lessons of the past to create a safer, better future.

The Holocaust took place between 1933 and 1945 and saw the systematic murder of 11 million people

in Europe, 6 million of whom were Jewish. Other victims included German blacks, gypsies, gay men, lesbians, mentally and physically disabled people and anyone who opposed the Nazi regime.

Victims included German blacks, gypsies, gays, and the disabled Every year sees a different theme and this year’s was Speak Up and Speak Out. Marcia Perkins gave a frank and informative talk that invited members of the audience to participate.

She said “It is important to know of the dangers that persecution and prejudice lead to. Regardless of our identity, we must speak up and speak out.”

As well as remembering the atrocities of the Holocaust, she also spoke about other genocides that have taken place, or are ongoing in the world. These included genocides in Cambodia, Bosnia, Rwanda and Sudan.

Laura Landon, President of RUJS said: “We were pleased that a good number of people turned up to the event. Everyone got something out of it and learnt something new”.

She added: “We hope that this year’s theme has made people rea-

lise a lot about the consequences of our actions.”

The workshop went well Dr Daniela La Penna said “The workshop went well: more than 60 students attended and the level of participation was very high.

In the first hour we asked students to take a picture from 50 taken at Dachau, describe it, and guess whether it had taken by the SS or the Americans. This exercise provoked lots of questions and discussion.

Staff that attended gave some thoughtprovoking contributions to the discussion In the second half of the seminar, Aline gave her presentation on Dachau and the politics of memorialisation. There were a few members of staff (five from Italian, two from German, two from French) and also Prof Dan Healy from History attended and gave some thought-provoking contributions to the discussion.”

If you are interested in finding out more about HMD visit www. hmd.org.uk

Photographs used in the event from Daniela La Penna

Reading retains Fairtrade status Sarah Lienard

On 26 January, the University of Reading proudly renewed its Fairtrade Status for the third time in a row since 2008. Various departments on campus have come together, including the Chaplaincy, Reading University Students’ Union (RUSU) and the University’s procurement and catering departments, to allow the University to keep its status for the next two years.

Reading will be taking part in Fairtrade Fortnight, from 27 February - 11 March

Fairtrade having a positive effect Photograph from www.obanfairtrade.com

The Fairtrade Status recognises Reading’s commitment to promoting Fairtrade goods by making fairly traded products available to students, staff and members of the public, both in shops throughout campus, and through catering services for conferences and meetings. It also acknowledges the various campaigns and action that has been taken by the Univer-

sity to raise awareness of ethical trading issues and emphasise the importance of buying Fairtrade goods.

Rev. Mark Laynesmith is the University chaplain and chairman of the Fairtrade steering group.

He explained “The steering group consists of a range of University staff and external members, who are passionate about ensuring Fairtrade is not forgotten. The group has worked extremely hard to maintain awareness throughout the University campus.” He commended the success of past University events, such as fashion shows, debates and tasting sessions to raise awareness of Fairtrade products.

Reading will be taking part in the Fairtrade Fortnight, a national campaign that will run from 27 February until 11 March. As part of this, Reading University Fairtrade Society (RUFS), in collaboration with the Women’s Campaign, are organising a fashion show to promote the Fairtrade brand and raise awareness of the University’s Body Positive campaign. The fashion show will be held at 7pm on Friday 9 March at RUSU, and

will be open to students, staff and members of the local community.

Tickets will be sold on the door at £4 each (£3 NUS).

Ben Haines, RUSU’s VicePresident for Democracy and Campaigns, commented “we are delighted to hear the news about the renewal of the University’s Fairtrade status. This is testament to the hard work of the steering group.”

Reading will remain accredited for two years University Vice-Chancellor Sir David Bell said: “Well done to everyone involved in securing Fairtrade status for the University for a third consecutive time.

By taking a lead as an institution, we are helping to encourage our students, staff and suppliers to think how they as individuals and organisations can contribute to a fairer society. Making a difference in the real world is at the heart of everything we do here at the University.”

Spark* Friday 3 February 2012

news.spark@reading.ac.uk

News 3

Increase in thefts from the library found without any they have to sign in but this will not necessarily completely eradicate the problem but will help.

It is down to students not to leave valuables unattended

‘Thieves work here too’. Photograph from www.i.zdnt.com Kate Delaney

The library has been home to an increasing number of thefts recently.

Security and the library staff are working together to try and decrease the figure by raising student awareness about the crimes.

Posters have been distributed around the library outlining the dangers of leaving personal belongings and valuables unattended.

Security also patrol the building and remind students not to leave their laptops unguarded.

Although the library are trying to do everything they can to prevent situations of theft from occurring, they maintain that it is down to students not to leave valuables unattended when they go down to the cafe or toilet, the library is open to the public which means anyone can access the areas. The library staff are working hard to encourage non-student library users to sign in at reception. Posters around the library warn users that they can be checked for university identification and if they are

Library employee, Chris Ryder told Spark* “We even regularly have people come up to the desk to report a theft, only to tell us that they’ve left all their other belongings unattended while they do so. We’ve got signs up all over the place and part of my job is being one of the people who goes round dishing out leaflets that say ‘Thieves work here too’ and to stand guard on an unattended laptop until the owner returns”.

The library claims that without actually having a member of staff posted on each floor, which is impossible with the number of staff available, there is nothing else they can do, it’s difficult to distinguish who is stealing the laptop from who owns it.

Third year History of Art student, Bridie Hindle, had her laptop stolen from the library after putting the finishing touches on her coursework meaning she had to totally rewrite the essay.

Bridie was contacted by the Police on 31 January, Miss Hindle relayed the conversation to Spark*, she said the police had told her “the library hadn’t co-operated with their enquiries, they have had a large number of robberies from the library recently.

The current budget of £1.4million will be increased by 600,000 The Police went to the library to do an investigation but staff told them they did not like the bad press it was creating and refused to give them the CCTV. The police said they put up signs up which were taken down by the library which has led them to a brick wall in the investigation in to the theft of my laptop”. The Police have urged Miss Hindle to get involved as they attempt to co-operate with

RUSU in the future as they are more likely to listen to a student than the Police.

The Police went to do an investigation but staff told them they did not like the bad press Recently, there has been significant pressure on the University to increase the hours available in the library so funding has been awarded here instead of on further security. The Senior Management Board have agreed to an increase in funding for the library. The current annual budget stands at around £1.4 million and will be increased by roughly 600,000. With this money the library is making improvements to the fifth floor.

The refurbishment includes rewiring to allow for the installation of more plug sockets and data points. Longer hours at the weekend have been agreed as a result of pressure from RUSU and will come in to effect later this term to allow the library time to obtain sufficient staff.

Uni history department launches film season Calum Mcintyre Rogers

The Department of History is preparing to put on a series of historical movies.

This will start next month with what the department hopes to make a yearly occurrence. The department is teaming up with the Reading Film Theatre over a period of five weeks, screening films on February 1, 15, 29 and March 7 in the Palmer Building’s auditorium. You may be expecting screenings of Braveheart or Gladiator, but the organisers have something a little more thoughtful in mind.

What is the role of film in teaching society about the past?

In addition to the movies, each screening will be preluded with an introduction by academics, who will comment on the film’s historicity and context. The organisers hope to catalyse discussion of the role of film in teaching society about the past. The films are selected so as to question whether movies can ever be faithful to history whilst retaining audience appeal.

First on the agenda is the 1989 Oscar-winning Henry V; the other films include the 2006 production

From Henry V. Photograph from www.thecinnermarian.c of The Magic Flute and Milk (2008), a biopic about Harvey Milk, the first openly gay American to run for office.

The history department hopes to make this a yearly occurence For a full list check the department web page, reading.ac.uk/

history. Dr Emma Vickers, who is a leading organiser of the upcoming event, said “our aim is to open a dialogue between film, historians and the general public, exploring the relationship between film and how history has been depicted for public viewing.”

The entrance fee for the event will be £4.50 for students and members of the Reading Film Theatre, and £6 for members of the public.

From Milk. Photograph from www.blogsport.com

4 NEWS

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

news.spark@reading.ac.uk

How representative is Boris?

Zari’aat Masood

Educated at Eton College and Oxford University, where he was a member of the prestigious Bullingdon Club, it is no surprise that Johnson has little understanding of the life and work of the average member of the younger generation.

In a recent interview with The Sun, Johnson condemned the young in Britain, suggesting that they could learn a lot from their European counterparts, who have little difficulty in getting a stable job here in the UK. With the rising case of unemployment, and figures out last week suggesting around 1.04 million are youths aged between 16 and 24, now is an important time for the Mayor of London to be delivering a positive and encouraging message to the young.

Johnson suggests the youth of Britain could learn a lot from the youth of Europe The cuts under the current government have continuously affected the young and their future prospects, and the end of Education Maintenance Allowance and the Future Jobs Fund have caused massive long term worries about

the likelihood of less well off students staying in education, and concerns about long term employment. Johnson suggests that young people lack proper work ethics and drive, and that the “jobs are there and people need to have the energy to go out and get them.”

However, despite stating that there are more than 30,000 entry level jobs available in London, the fact remains the number of unemployed vastly outweighs the number of vacancies. Putting this simple mathematical fact down to the laziness and lack of drive of youngsters shows massive incompetence from the Mayor.

Currently polling at 49% against Ken Livingstone’s 51% in the election for Mayor of London, and with a clear lack of support from 18 to 44 year olds, now is the time when Johnson should be appeasing the young, not making enemies out of them.

After the student protests of last year, he is aware of the general dissatisfaction with numerous government policies, and he should be using his role as the Mayor of London to boost public support and awareness of the tough times ahead for future generations. Now is not the time to be particular with job opportunities and offers, but it is also important that politicians do not continue to fuel societies’ misconceptions on youth and their apparent aversion to a hard days work.

Photograph from www.sportsfeatures.com

Fire at Benyon Hall Bulmershe redevelopment plans Calum Mcintyre Rogers

The University is hoping to replace the old buildings on Bulmershe with homes, and to convert the student accomodation there to apartments. The Bulmershe playing fields will kept, however, for use by both the University and the rest of the public.

The University is also planning on constructing a sports pavillion, and a care home on the premises.

The University plans to produce a total of 287 units

has already repositioned to the new Minghella building on Whiteknights.

Plans will provide much needed housing for the area The University’s Vice Chancellor, Professor Tony Downes, commented “the University of Reading has developed plans for a high-quality residential development for the

soon-to-be redundant Bulmershe campus site, which will provide much needed housing for the area and improve the neighbouring playing fields for community and University use.

While it will be sad to leave Bulmershe after more than 20 years, we do so in the knowledge that we are investing in the best facilities to train future generations of teachers at London Road and providing the best student accommodation in the sector, conveniently located on our main campus.”

Photograph by Nura Hassan, Eliz Arken and Yosra Kayani Chayya Syal

Crews from Wokingham Road and Whitley Wood Fire Service were called out to Benyon Hall, Sherfield Drive at 10:20pm on 29 January to tackle a fire that had started in a ground floor kitchen.

Students were evacuated from the block as fire fighters cleared smoke from the area.

Two fire fighters wearing breathing apparatus extinguished the

blaze before using positive pressure ventilation equipment to clear smoke from the second and third floors.

Fire fighter David Grayson said: “We were there for just under two hours, but everyone was evacuated safely.”

He added that the cause of the fire is being investigated and not treated as suspicious.

All students were safe and no one was injured.

The redevelopment is part of the wider strategy to reposition accomodation and facilities closer to Whiteknights. and London Road The Bulmershe student accomodation is to be unused after this academic year, in preperation for the developments.

A total of 287 housing units are to be ready for habitation after construction is concluded, including 84 flats from the previous halls of residence and 188 two to five bedroom homes. film and theatre

This concept image was attached to the University’s press release

Spark* Friday 3 February 2012

news.spark@reading.ac.uk

News 5

A dramatic student chosen campaign Kate Delaney

The Student Voice meeting held on 24 January introduced two proposals for this terms Student Chosen Campaign were put forward to students.

The first was a campaign for ‘Passing the Plastic’ which requested that catering facilities affiliated with the University change their plastic cups to glasses in attempt to lower wastage and help the environment.

The campaign, proposed by third year student Ben Villard, highlighted the University’s statement to “manage its operations in ways that are environmentally sustainable, economically feasible and socially responsible” in an attempt to convince students to support the green proposal.

Students considered the cost of the glasses and the costs of theft and breakage Those who attended the Student Voice quizzed Mr Villard on the logistics of his campaign. They considered the cost of the glasses and the additional costs caused by theft and breakage and commented on how much water wastage is

caused by the use of glasses over plastic.

This proposal was followed by a ‘campaign for better provision of performance spaces on Campus’ from Luke Elliot and Jack Thompson. They asked for increased availability of performance spaces and a wider use of existing university resources such as the Van Emden Theatre, which is currently condemnded, and the Minghella Building.

It’s unbelievable that the only licensed performance spaces are bars or nightclubs Mr Elliot complained that these spaces are not being used to their full potential and increasing their availability would have a positive impact on many societies.

Their campaign statement claimed “For a university that prides itself on prestigious rankings it seems unbelievable that the only licensed performance spaces available on campus for student groups to perform in are either RUSU bars or nightclubs”.

A campaign must receive over 200 votes from students to be chosen as the term campaign so the attempt to convince students to

Reading University Drama Society. Photograph from RUDS facebook group support an increase in performance spaces just made it in the last few hours of the race.

After eight days of voting the ‘campaign for better provision of performance spaces on Campus’ has received 202 votes.

Third-year Classic Studies and English Literature student, Lizzie

Pollington said “At the moment performance based clubs have barely anywhere to practice and are put second to users who create profit for the university. We don’t think this is fair as we should be a priority. More performance spaces would be very beneficial to

my club the Tap and Modern Society and many others like it”.

The ‘Passing the Plastic’ campaign finished with 30 votes giving it 12.9% of the student vote. Therefore RUSU will be focusing their attention on increasing the availability of performance spaces for this term.

University minister Willetts visits Reading Calum Mcintyre Rogers

After joining forces with four other research institutions to tackle food security issues, David Willetts announced that PhD students would receive £67m from the Biotechnology and Biosciences Research Council with which to continue their research.

During his visit, Willetts was shown the University’s Hugh Sinclair Human Nutrition Group, which is part of the School of Food and Nutritional Sciences.

Willetts claimed that the funding would enhance student career prospects Reading is the leading institute of the coalition, joined by Southampton, Surrey and Lancaster, as well as Rothamstead Research, one of the world’s most senior agricultural research institutes.

Food security director at Reading, Richard Tiffin, said “At Reading we are unique in having individual research projects that cover the whole food chain.

Wiletts hoped that the funding would aid facing food security challenges “However, we recognise that a single institutional approach will not succeed in addressing all of the challenges that food security presents. The new DTP encourages the development of links with leading research groups beyond the university that complement our own strengths and can make a real difference to the food security agenda.”

The University has a vital role in agricultural studies in the UK, having a leading role in curating the National Fruit Collection.

Reading also posses the ‘Herbarium’, the world-class institution

which curates plant specimens from across the world.

David Willetts commented “This £67million investment in postgraduate training is excellent news for students, research organisations, industry and the UK as a whole.

“The brightest and best students will be finding solutions to some of the biggest challenges facing us all, from food security through to renewable energy.

Reading is leading a group of four other institutes in food security research “The partnership approach means that many institutions are combining their strengths to provide students with improved training and relevant work experience.

“This will better equip them for future careers, be it in research, industry or elsewhere.”

David Willetts, left, visits the University’s food science facilities Image from getreading.co.uk

6 NEWS

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

news.spark@reading.ac.uk

Fortnightly Media Blog what’s going on?

Hello again guys, How’s the new year treating you?

We at Junction 11 reckon we’re off to a good start, and as a result I have a bunch of stuff to tell you.

First of all (and probably most importantly) the new schedule for this year is up and running. You can find it at www.junction11radio. co.uk/shows, and it now contains direct links to the Facebook groups of any shows that have them.

You might also have noticed us making a bit of a racket in Mojo’s on Wednesday’s Flirt! night. We’ll

be there a bit more often from now on giving you an alternative vibe to seek out, should the mood take you.

In other news, we’re rolling out a fleet of new shows this term. But they’re a bit different, and a bit special. We’ll be pre-recording shows that will then be put out late at night. To give you an idea of what sort of thing will be happening, I’ve read the script of a pilot for a radio drama that promises to be a fascinating addition to the station (courtesy of RU:ON’s Mr. Nial Norbury).

We’ve also got plans to do documentaries, album and cinema review shows. We’ll let you know when stuff starts to go live.

Watch out for the swarms of flyerers that will herald it’s coming.

In the mean time, if you have any ideas for shows, let us know!

Email me on manager@junction11radio.co.uk.

That’s all for now. Hope to speak at you soon!

Chris Diffin, Station Manager

what

where

4th

Them and Us at Saturday Union

3sixty

7th

Services and Ents forum

The Lounge

7th

LGBT History Month

HumSS G27

7th

Comedy Night

3sixty

8th

Flirt! Wild West

3sixty

when February

February

February

February

February

next issue of Spark* out:

Wed 22 February 2012 across the students’ union

7 POLITICAL COMMENT

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

politics.spark@reading.ac.uk

POLITICAL COMMENT Karzai to talk with Taliban despite the fact that fighting is still a daily occurrence in some of the more volatile regions of Afghanistan.

Karzai will no doubt want to retain a grip on democracy’s coat tails

Dominc Bangay- Wilding

What with our domestic politics being so frightfully exciting and eventful (ahem) I am mindful that we at Spark* can sometimes overlook many of the international issues which, whilst they may play out many thousands of miles from our homes and have nothing to do with Big Brother or Twitter, still concern us in a less direct fashion.

With this I mind I have decided to take a brief look at the recent developments in Afghanistan, a country in which the UK and the West in general still has very much a vested interest in.

Last week, the Afghan President Hamid Karzai announced to the world that he had agreed to hold talks with the Taliban to discuss a possible solution to the current conflict. The talks will be held in either Saudi Arabia or Turkey with a number of higher echelon officials from both sides present,

So what we can we draw from this news? Well, it ought to be obvious to even the most hardline of the war’s supporters that this announcement is a serious step in the right direction. The war in Afghanistan has dragged on for 10 years now and the statistics make for truly shocking reading.

Around 2,800 coalition deaths, 397 British, 41,000+ insurgents and hundreds of thousands of civilians killed, injured or displaced.

Now, however, has come the first opportunity for both sides to table their demands and begin to look toward an agreement. Since it was ousted from government in 2001 the Taliban has refused to recognise the government of President Karzai, and whilst this might not be a formal recognition, it is, in form, an acknowledgement.

Indeed, prior to last week’s news, the Taliban had refused to talk to any country other than the US, and even then, only in Qatar, soon to be the location of the Taliban’s first office, a public face, as it were, to an often shadowy body. President Karzai himself said last October that talks were out of the question.

Nonetheless, as the EU’s former representative to Afghanistan Michael Semple put it recently, there

is a feeling that ‘no one wants to be left out’ when peace finally comes. And hopefully peace shall come, but only once a number of problems have been overcome.

Chief among them is both sides abject refusal to abandon their demands under pressure. Karzai will no doubt want to retain a vice like grip on democracy’s coat tails whilst the Taliban will ask for nothing less than a complete return to their brutal and oppressive regime, replete with all the trappings, from Sharia law to jingoism.

NATO have come too far for the President to throw his toys out the pram now Most importantly, the US, who will no doubt offer their services as mediator, must endeavour to see that Karzai remains a fundamental part of the peace process throughout. The Afghan leader has expressed his concern that the Afghan government is left out of the loop when it comes to communications between the US and the Taliban on multiple occasions.

And concerned he should be. The US has a history of clandestine meetings with the enemy behind its ally’s back.

Regardless, even if the Taliban are merely biding their time before the coalition can begin pulling out in 2014, both Afghanistan and NATO have come too far and committed too much for the President to throw his toys out of the pram now.

No Sir, its just Mr Goodwin now Chris Brook

Oh look, Sir Fred Goodwin, now styling himself as ‘Fred Goodwin’ has been stripped of his knighthood. The Cabinet Office ‘Honours Forfeiture Committee’ decided that the mess he created in RBS was so great, that a knighthood honour for ‘services to the banking industry’ was not exactly in keeping with the idea of attained merit most other knights and dames get honoured for. The exact quote I believe was ‘The scale and severity of the impact of his actions as CEO of RBS made this an exceptional case’, because before (think Robert Mugabe in 2008) honours could only be rescinded if the recipient was convicted of a criminal

offense or were struck off professional bodies for their actions.

Fred, who caused the partial collapse of RBS, the loss of thousands of jobs and billions of taxpayers’ money to be spent saving the bank from his mistakes, has said before he is extremely sorry for what happened at RBS, which is fair enough. Except the fact remains that his mistakes continue to be felt across the country, and as part of the banking crisis of 2008 onwards, globally. The fact that David Cameron and Ed Miliband have politicised the issue for their own means, past the mere detail that the Cabinet Office advises the Queen, who has the sole power to carry out these actions, that she should rescind his honour, is both expected and somewhat tiresome.

As if we the public believe that our politicians truly believe all their banker friends should have their honours reviewed.

However, it is right, in light of his devastating actions (I mean seriously, he knew the Dutch bank ABN Amro was in serious trouble and would cause problems if RBS took it over, and still went for it) that any publically appointed honours rewarding for his actions in the industry he brought to its knees are reviewed, and personally I feel this is the right decision.

I mean, there is a bright side. His ‘other’ publically appointed honour is still available for him to use, but I somehow fear that ‘Fred ‘The Shred’ Goodwin’ doesn’t quite look so good on business cards compared to ‘Sir’. Oh well, whatever...

The Iron Lady?

Tom Puddy

The film The Iron Lady has created the same old predictable debates that were bound to happen, with both Left and Right returning to the old familiar places. Was she a hero or a monster? Did she destroy the country or revive the Sick Man of Europe? Is she our greatest living Prime Minister or a milk snatching Disney villain? The debates will no doubt go on, and on, and on. Recently, it was made clear that Lady Thatcher will be receiving a state funeral.

Did she destroy the country or revive the Sick Man of Europe?

To summarise generally, the Right believe that she deserves the ultimate accolade and mark of respect that a country can give to one of its sons or daughters. The Left tend to think that she should be dumped down a mineshaft. It is true that the Right have a strange idolisation of Lady Thatcher. Accolades such as The Great Lady and an almost divine reverence to the hallowed name of Maggie are just a couple of signs of the awe many Right-wingers have of Lady Thatcher.

It is the complete hatred from the Left which is the most telling sign of hypocrisy On the Left there is an overwhelming and visceral hatred.

Somewhere in between there is an element of reasoned debate and genuine interest which may someday create a fair and objective

assessment of her time in office and her legacy.

On the Left there is an overwhelming and visceral hatred This being said, it is the complete loathing and hatred from the Left which is perhaps the most telling, sickening and appalling sign of hypocrisy and moral failure from any group. It has been the Left that has pushed the encroaching tide of political correctness which has resulted in paranoia and the New-Speak elimination of words that may be deemed verboten.

Yet it is invariably Lefties who find it oh so hilarious to make fun of an 86-year-old woman’s dementia. It is the Left with pictures on their tee-shirts and posters on their walls of Che Guevara (a man who was only really proficient at sadistic execution) who accuse Lady Thatcher of being a “monster”.

The Right believe that she deserves the highest mark of respect that a country can give It is the Left who have bottles of Champaign stored away waiting for the day that on old lady dies.

True, this is a gross over generalisation. It would be wrong to claim that everyone on the Left has a gaping hole in their sense of morality. Indeed, vast numbers of Left wingers have nothing but the highest integrity and the noblest of motives. But it is for these people to convince their fellow ideologues of just how vile and toxic their hatred can be.

8 INTERVIEW

interview.spark@reading.ac.uk

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

interview

Housing advice for graduates embarking on unpaid internships

ELLIS WHEATLEY

By 2025 there will be a housing shortfall of 750,000 in England alone, according to the IPPR. Several generations have resorted to moving in together, into one home, to keep costs down in Europe.

The UK has its own “boomerang” generation, where young people have to move back home because they cannot afford to get on the property ladder. The shortage is hitting the younger generation hardest. A fifth of 18-to-34-yearolds have been forced to live with their parents as they can not afford to rent or buy a home, according to the charity Shelter.

As our students are facing the daunting prospects of leaving further education, gaining relevant and often unpaid experience and entering the working-world, accommodation issues can simply exacerbate this stress.

Interview has contacted two graduates with two very different approaches. Jade Taylor is a graduate and, although settled now, tells us about her experiences.

Jade Taylor 2008 Graduate Imperial College London - MSc Crop Protection Where did you live immediately after graduation?

I moved back into my parents’ tiny two-bedroom house.

Had you made arrangements for a job, following graduation?

Yes - I started a job two days after my course was officially completed.

Where was your first job following graduation, was it a full-time position and was it paid?

I worked at Syngenta Plant Protection in Bracknell. It was a full time, paid position.

Where did you live whilst working in Bracknell?

Initially, I lived with my parents as they were only a 45 minute commute to Bracknell.

How did you find living with your parents? Did you experience any problems?

Yes; I had gone from staying in my own place, able to eat what I wanted, when I wanted. To, suddenly, have to follow the rules that I had followed when I was 17 - I was now 23 and I needed much more freedom. Also, my parents’ house is in a small village - I knew nobody.

I was spending approximately 30-40% on rent After how long did you find alternative accommodation?

After six months I looked for alternative accommodation - in that time I had managed to get my finances back in order and had a rent deposit.

How did you find this alternative accommodation?

I was only looking to rent a room in a shared house so I looked on findaroom.com type websites.

This meant I did not have to pay agency fees too!

What had stopped you seeking alternative accommodation before then? What difficulties had you faced in finding housing?

I did not have the money saved to put down as a deposit and enjoyed spending my new earnings on fun, rather than rent, to start with. I had also taken out a loan to cover the fees and expenses of my masters course and wanted to work out how much I would have each month after that came out.

a particular skill, such as painting or plumbing, that the landlord needed, this scheme may work.

Personally, for my own situation, having found a full-time paid position, I was lucky enough not to have to consider unpaid interndships.

After initially moving out how much did you earn, and how much did you spend on independent living? Also, including travel to and from work, rent, bills, food, how much of your earnings disappeared?

Jade appears to have been fortunate with her housing and working experience following her graduation. However, as the job market becomes increasingly competitive, some graduates are not so lucky.

Milena Bottero has used her own experiences to generate and develop her fabulous idea and, in doing so, aims to help some interns find housing and friends along the way!

When I first moved out I was spending approximately 30-40% on rent, and when you included travel food and bills you are looking at 70% of what I earned.

I was having to follow the rules from when I was seventeen - I was now twenty-three Many graduates are now facing unpaid, as oppose to paid, internships. For a graduate looking for work, but who, perhaps, has family living too far away to commute to their workplace, what housing advice could you give?

I would advise someone to look for a room in an already shared house, that way it’s already furnished and you can make friends with your housemates (if you are moving to a new area this is important).

Also, quite often you only need to stay for a minimum of six months, which means if you dislike the area, the job, or the people you are renting with, you can get out.

I would also shy away from using an agency when you first start renting as the fees for non-student agencies are typically six weeks rent plus checking in and out fees, which you never see again.

We have sourced a scheme called Room for Tea. Basically, this is a site that aims to match those looking for somewhere to live, with those who have spare room, in return for light chores around the house. Would this have interested you, as a short term measure, following your graduation when looking for unpaid internships?

If I had taken an unpaid internship, I do not think I would have been able to find the time to “change enough light bulbs’ to justify 10 hours work. However, if someone was in dire need of an affordable place to live, and had

Milena Bottero Founder of Room for Tea LSE Graduate How long has Room for Tea been running now?

I came up with the idea in May or June 2010. I, and a team of volunteers, developed the basic idea in a weekend. Then in September 2010, the idea evolved through the Keeping Connected Business Challenge. The idea of Keeping Connected is to help adults feel more connected in their lives.

The business challenge is in two parts. Initially we did one month of research in London to ensure the viability of our idea. Then we pitched our idea to the design council and Technology Strategy Board. As a result of this research and pitch, I accessed funding for five months to launch the Room for Tea project.

Why did you set up Room for Tea? I did a five month, unpaid, internship in London and it was hard. I met people who were applying for jobs, especially in media and the public sector, and they too were struggling. Room for Tea began as a general social enterprise idea.

Through a work4mps survey, our idea was met with over two hundred positive responses in under three weeks. We thought… there’s a market opportunity here. Our idea then won LSE ‘pitch it’ Business Challenge!

We understand the struggle of those starting their professional careers What type of people are you hoping can benefit from Room for Tea?

We are keen to help those who are committed to the ethos. We understand the struggle of those in their twenties, with low paid jobs and internships, who are starting their professional careers. We hope to match interns and hosts up online, check their compatibility and needs, check the hosts and then arrange the meetings. As Room for Tea develops further we will get to know the hosts better too.

I met people who were applying for jobs in media they too were struggling I understand that this venture is still young, but how many people have you successfully matched so far? Also, what is the plan for the future at Room for Tea? We have matched five people for our pilot run, which took place in March/April 2011. In the future we are hoping to work with employers, too.

If any of our readers, are hoping to get involved with your team at Room for Tea, how can they do this?

We are starting to look for interns who are committed to our ethos and to the work we do: being part of the network, meeting hosts and interns.

Follow us on twitter: @roomfortea, take a look at our (ever changing) website www.roomfortea.com or email me, milena@roomfortea. com, if you are interested.

Editor’s note: Special thanks to those who contributed to this issue - especially Jade Taylor, Steven Howse and Milena Bottero - and for your time.

If you would like to be involved in forthcoming issues of Spark* with the Interview team, simply contact us: interview.spark@reading.ac.uk Pick up the next edition of Spark*, including an exclusive interview on Careers and internships: learn how to apply for, and secure, great opportunities over our Spring vacation from our experts here at the University of Reading.

Spark* Friday 3 February 2012

editor.spark@reading.ac.uk

HOUSING SPECIAL 9

Spark* Housing Special

Struggling with finding a home next year? Overwhelmed by all the decisions to make?

Check out what our writers have to say about their experiences with housing and hopefully we can give you some advice on how to find the perfect place to live LEON SLATER

During my second year I lived in a nine-bedroom house with the group I had previously shared a kitchen with in Wessex Hall. This seemed like a good idea because we all got along so well and we figured that it would result in our monthly bills being a bit easier to manage. Both these things proved to be wrong in the end.

We got along with each other exceptionally well in halls, but suddenly once we were confined within the four walls of the same house things didn’t go so well anymore. Small falling-outs suddenly resulted in others taking sides and every small problem became a far bigger issue than it should have been. Ultimately, some of my housemates (a group of three) developed a small clique of sorts.

This resulted in it becoming very awkward arranging things as a group. Something such as going out clubbing, which should ideally be enjoyable, became a hassle, especially if that clique were off doing something else that they’d arranged amongst themselves and would then get angry with us for not inviting them, despite them having prior arrangements of their own.

As for the bills, making sure everyone paid their fair share was a nightmare! We had one bill-payer whom the rest of us would then reimburse. He spent a large portion of that year chasing people down for payments they hadn’t made.

Some people were cheekily avoiding paying, while others innocently forgot.

There were further small problems as well, such as deciding which person would have to live in the broom-cupboard sized bedroom that our letting agent somehow thought was a habitable room, or the fact that the wireless didn’t reach throughout the house and that it was never fast enough to cope with nine people using it at once.

Needless to say, by the end of the year some of us wanted to go on a killing spree. We now live in two smaller groups and we all get on brilliantly again.

GILL REID

You never forget your first house.

Having spent days pounding the pavement, our first-year feet were tired and our outlook was dimming. We’d seen a mattress chute staircase, a four-bed masquerading as six with plasterboard partitions, and one house furnished with a complementary pile of Rob’s sick; though apparently said Rob had been hospitalised for three days.

Picture our scepticism upon seeing a house with peeling paint, a waist-deep scrapheap, and a small paper sign: “Six-bed student house.

Contact landlord“. With two disabled housemates, finding suitable

accommodation was paramount.

Our list of requirements was endless, and hitherto our options were six double-glazed cardboard boxes, or sharing with Rob’s sick.

Imagine our surprise when the landlord described the planned renovation. No mould, new fixtures; we could even choose our own paint. We signed contracts immediately, despite the unfinished extension and gaping hole in the floorboards. On paper it seems delusional, but both were fixed come July. As for disabled access he had railings and ramps installed, and reinstalled when the builders thought ‘wheelchair ramp’ meant ‘inverted quarter-

Advice from the experts RUTH YATES, STUDENT HOUSING ADVISOR

We at RUSU Advice team know that house hunting can be a stressful and confusing experience, and there’s lots of complicated legal jargon to decipher! To help you out with this we’ve given you some handy tips to make finding a house easier.

Don’t panic!

There are more student houses than students in Reading, and you can find rooms all year round.

Take your time finding the right house and make sure you see several to get an idea of what’s available.

Choose who you want to live with carefully It’s almost impossible to get out of contracts once you’ve signed them. Do you have similar interests and budgets? Are you an early bird who likes things clean, or a night owl with a more relaxed attitude?

Have discussions beforehand to avoid arguments Disagreements are the most common housing problem. To minimise arguing agree on house rules before you move in, such as how bills will be paid, rules on guests and parties, how cleaning products and toilet roll will be paid for, cleaning rotas, etc.

If you’re having trouble, use Facebook!

Check our ‘RUSU Househunting Group’ on Facebook for help with finding housemates/ houses.

Try estate agents, the local papers and the university webpage to look for houses.

Keep an eye out for ads in local shops, on houses in student areas and around campus. Work out your budget before seeing houses – don’t sign a contract until you know you can afford the rent AND bills!

Know what to look for Use the Viewing Checklist in our ‘Choosing a Student House’ booklet (found on the RUSU website) when viewing potential houses.

Make sure you are certain before paying anything Remember holding deposit are not refundable if you change your mind.

Get your contract checked by RUSU Advice Team They can explain what your rights and responsibilities are, as well as checking for any unfair terms. Don’t be pressured into signing anything before you’re sure!

Get agreements down in writing If the Landlord has agreed to redecorate/ repair anything before you move in, get it written into the contract.

See http://www.rusu.co.uk/advice/ housing_advice/ for more information on looking for a student house, or come and see an advisor in The Hub. Drop in is available Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, 10am–1pm and Wednesdays 2-5pm in the Students’ Union Hub. You can also email stu.adv@ reading.ac.uk with any questions.

pipe’. To ice the cake, our rent was below average. The elusive ‘good landlord’ really exists, and we’re only now saying farewell after three years.

Sophie Elliot

I live with my boyfriend in a one bedroom house near Reading town centre and moved there after living in the University’s couples’ accommodation in my first year.

After living together already, we knew that we’d both move up here from Devon and wouldn’t be in ‘normal’ halls. This was both a good and bad thing as it was definitely harder to meet people initially, as you are living in your own flat and don’t meet many other Freshers in that situation, but it was also good as it meant we had our own space.

There are definitely two sides to my situation now, as well. When finding this house, we had to consider lots of factors including being closer to the station – for my boyfriend to get to work – which means that getting to University is no longer the 10 minute walk I had before. Plus, the deposit for a one bedroom house was at least double that of the university accommodation and things such as utility bills are costs you have to think about.

However, on the other hand, living on your own as a couple has its

benefits. It’s brilliant. It means you have a lot more freedom with what you can do and, from hearing from my friends living in shared houses, have a nicer landlord.

Also, I only have to moan at one person to do the washing up!

LAURENCE GREEN

Living in a student house, bills become your responsibility – and for many students, this will be their first experience of having to deal with them directly. Make sure everyone in the house knows how much money they have to contribute towards them and that they understand common money-saving strategies such as only turning the heating on if absolutely necessary (all those warm jumpers your nan gave you over Christmas will certainly come in handy!)

If your house has a dishwasher and washing machine, make sure they are used economically and that water isn’t wasted just washing few items at a time. Make sure your internet bill doesn’t come with expensive extras you don’t really need. And lastly, beware cold-callers who may knock on your door during fresher’s week offering cheap bills – these deals are often cons designed to trick students who unwittingly sign up to the paperwork they’re offered.

10 COMMENT

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

comment.spark@reading.ac.uk

comment

Are we are a nation of webaholics?

Emma cole

How many times a day do you think you use the internet? My guess would be more than you would at first think to count. Nowadays we use the internet for more or less everything – communicating amongst friends on Facebook, attempting to communicate with celebrities on Twitter, streaming the music we can’t afford to buy from iTunes on Spotify, tittering at the latest viral sensation on Youtube, researching our essays on Google. When a phone call isn’t personal enough, we Skype.

On loan day, we hit ASOS. And all from the comfort of our crumbling student accommodation.

Considering that the internet is still a relatively new creation (it wasn’t until the early noughties that it became unusual not to have home access), our obsession has developed at a rapid pace. Social networking has now become so

universal that we quite literally live on the internet through the profiles we create for ourselves – Facebook’s new Timeline profile allows us to trace a person’s life in detail right up until the point that they signed up to the site.

Nowadays we use the internet for more or less everything Having constant access to Facebook and Twitter through our mobile phones has allowed this obsession to reach even further, and given us the ability to provide our online friends with constant updates as to our whereabouts, what we are doing and who we are doing it with. Whether or not this is necessary, or even healthy, is no longer up for debate – it has become a central part of modern day culture.

The sheer speed at which information can be transferred globally via the internet has given birth to many viral sensations; most of whom disappear into obscurity as quickly as they found fame in the first place – Rebecca Black, anyone? Some, however, have managed to launch a lasting career from appearing on the internet the most obvious example being Justin Bieber – but many others, including Boyce Avenue comedienne Jenna Marbles have found fame through posting videos on Youtube. Whilst this appears on the surface to be an invaluable tool for those wishing to show the world what they have to offer, it can work in the opposite way – by bringing fame upon those who most definitely do not want it.

Cardiff student Amy McRow recently hit the headlines after appearing in a YouTube video filmed by a stranger in the nightclub Oceana, in which she stripped

How Facebook makes decisions for you – automatically sarah lienard

Just about anyone that has used Facebook for more than a year will have noticed that it’s changed a lot since they signed up.

The site started off as a way to stay in contact with friends and family, share personal photos and organise events, but with the addition of various apps, features and links with entertainment sites, it’s turned into the eBay of the social media world. In short, you could find just about anything on there.

Facebook wants to transform the site from a social network to an ‘entertainment hub’ What has driven these changes?

In September last year, Facebook announced moves to transform the site from a socially based networking site, to an ‘entertainment hub’ through partnerships with Spotify, Netflix, the Guardian and other media companies. It was around that time that I first noticed my News Feed filling up with a lot of utterly useless information, from articles on Pippa Middleton’s bum that friends had read to exactly who had been ‘checked in’ at Subway for lunch. Call me apathetic but I don’t feel the need to be informed every time Marie from my seminar listens to Justin Bieber or watches a video of a yawning cat.

It’s not that I have a problem with people posting these kinds of links,

after all, what else would I use to procrastinate in the time that I should be using for studying? But what I find strange is that now it’s not actual people posting the links at all; many apps, such as Spotify, now post to Facebook by default.

This growing trend of automation makes it impossible to filter out the rare few interesting posts from the majority, which are all too often simply meaningless and mundane drivel.

It’s not just posting links that has become automated, either. Last June, Facebook introduced automatic face recognition software on the site without even notifying its users, sparking controversy over what some saw as the potential erosion of online privacy. Although users can opt-out of being automatically tagged in pictures by friends, the software still runs on every picture uploaded to the site, like some kind of sinister sci-fi film. All anyone needs these days to find out all your personal information is a photograph of your face, which poses serious issues for online privacy and safety.

With Facebook already reporting everything we do I wonder what the future holds Finally, no Facebook user could fail to have heard that the new Timeline feature is to be made compulsory over the next couple

of weeks, despite an overwhelming lack of support from its users.

A survey of over 4000 Facebook users, published last Monday by security giant Sophos, reported that only 8% liked the new feature, which will group all of a user’s activity together by date.

All anyone needs to find out your personal information is a photo This will provide a blow-by-blow account of their history on the site, and allow people to see exactly what they were doing in particular months and years. The effect of this seems to me to be bizarrely date-specific - who’s going to care what my status was four years ago? Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg has said that Timeline ‘will help you tell the story of your life’, but personally, I’m curious as to why anyone would want to tell it in such minute and trivial detail.

With Facebook reporting absolutely everything that we do, I can’t help but wonder what the future holds. Where are we going to draw the line? Will Facebook, in five years, be announcing that ‘Margaret just sneezed’ or ‘Colin went to the toilet’? Mind you, it wouldn’t surprise me if soon, there’s an app for that.

naked and drunkenly paraded around in a paddling pool. Thanks to sites such as Youtube and Twitter, the video was quickly spread worldwide, and reposted as fast as sites could remove it. The story was featured across many online news sites, including Mail Online, proving that you don’t have to be willing to become an overnight internet sensation.

the internet. What’s to stop your potential employer from Googling your name before an interview?

Seeing an album of photos entitled ‘Drunken Mayhem 6’, or spotting that you’ve joined the group ‘I expect to be rich without making any effort’ probably won’t help your case. Failing that, remembering not to take your clothes off in nightclubs is also a good place to start.

The sheer speed of the internet has given birth to many viral sensations Although the many minor miracles of the internet vastly outweigh the negative aspects, it remains wise to be aware of the dark side of the web. The world isn’t as private as it once was and it is worth bearing this in mind before uploading every minute detail of your life onto

Dear Reading...

anja nelson

What’s your New Year’s Resolution? Quit smoking, get a job, fall in love, lose weight? Maybe it’s pass your exams. Maybe it’s have a night out you actually remember.

Or maybe you’ve yet to make one.

In any case, Student Run Self Help would like to ask you, Reading, to think about something different. Instead of a new you, or a better you, or, worst of all, a thinner you, what about a healthier you? A happier you? A you who understands that a physical manifestation of yourself is just that, a manifestation.

The only thing to change is recognizing the perfection of the you already here This term, this is our focus; to encourage Reading to be the happiest and healthiest it can be. We have a few things organized to get the wheels and the ball rolling on an amazing 2012: •Fortnightly meetings: Every other week, from 18:15 to 19:45, HumSS G57 plays host to tea, coffee, and chats about positive eating behaviors. If any questions, concerns, or situations regarding eating disorders arise, we encourage you to come along.

•Anti-Obesity campaign: as with underhandedly negative New Year’s Resolutions, anti-obesity

campaigns have been leaning more towards the idea of “thin” than “healthy.”

•Eating Disorders Awareness Week: From February 20-26, the UK recognizes the importance of Eating Disorders awareness. On the Tuesday (February 21), SRSH will be set up in RUSU to ask some questions and answer yours.

Having a support system can be especially important right now We’re here all year, but all the changes of the New Year and new term, along with the stresses of approaching exams, housing and deadlines, make this an especially tumultuous time. Having a support system can be especially important right now, and that’s what we are here for. Please consider following us on Facebook (SRSH Reading) and Twitter (@SRSHReading) And remember, a new year doesn’t have to mean a new you.

A new year can mean new friendships, new opportunities, and new confidence; a new push towards being the happiest and healthiest you! Because there was nothing wrong with the you from 2011, or 2010, or even so far in 2012; in fact, the only thing you should change is recognizing the perfection of the you already here.

Spark* Friday 3 February 2012

comment.spark@reading.ac.uk

DEBATE 11

Debate

Game on!

Is the world of gaming still a man’s world?

Yes No KERRIE BLACK

I would say that I am a girl gamer.

Don’t make that face, I know you are. It’s like saying that I am a cannibal. This is the reaction I always get. From my experience there are two types of girl gamer, the type that plays Call of Duty and is seen as nothing more than a tomboy or the type that plays ‘girls’ games and is therefore not even worth considering as a gamer at all.

I would like to say I am neither.

Yes, I am a girl and I like games, but I also like make-up and clothes shopping so I am not your typical tomboy that is for sure. But if I tell anyone that I like to play on the Xbox then they automatically assume that I am either lying or that am nothing more than a guy.

Why can’t I be both?

According to Helen Kennedy, a cultural theorist at the University of the West of England.: “The widespread media representation of [gaming] is as a violent pastime - that games are something for boys and not for girls, and that they lead to anti-social behaviour,” she goes on to suggest that “Parents aren’t going to encourage their girls to play, they’re not going to be as keen to buy them their first DS or buy them a console in the way you see families and mums buying lots of that stuff for boys at a very young age.” This view is one that sticks; girls are just not allowed to be gamers.

Industry perceptions ignore the female market: apart from Lara Croft from Tomb Raider, name me another female main character in a video game? And those females who are in the games are as Sheri Graner-Ray, studio design director for Schell Game suggests: “We [create] our females to look like they’re ready for sex right now.”

Despite statistics stating that the number of women working in the games industry is increasing it has done little to add the inclusion of a female character (or the choice to play as a female character rather than a male one) within games. Therefore it is no wonder that male gamers have such a negative perception of their female counterparts.

Once I am hidden online behind

my asexual screenname I am safe.

That is until they find out I am a female. As soon as I give away that I am a woman the other players start to look down on me, to criticise my playing abilities and just generally treat me in a different way. Is this sexism okay just because it lays behind a screen?

The controversy surrounding the suggestion by Blizzard, creators of World of Warcraft, to begin attaching users’ real names to posts made on the game’s forums prompted massive backlash from the female gaming community.

Dee-ann LeBlanc sums up this argument writing: “as a female gamer, I don’t want everyone seeing my obviously female name”.

But why shouldn’t people see it?

We shouldn’t have to hide who we are just in able to enjoy a game.

In the end ‘real’ names were omitted from the changes made to the forums.

The other problem I have is that those games which are seen as ‘girly’ games are less valued than others. Take the massive selling The Sims Franchise by EA, a massively female orientated game yet it is still not seen as ‘real’ game. In my experience most causal games are of a much higher calibre than games such as Call of Duty or Modern Warfare. Take the amazingly addictive Plants Vs Zombies or Pokémon, for example.

But because they attract a female audience then they are suddenly devalued. In fact this goes further, why is the Xbox prized so much higher than the Ninetndo Wii (which was the first console to have motion controls- which both the Xbox and PS3 follwed) and the Nintendo DS or 3DS (first handheld consoles to have touch-screen technology and 3D capabilities). It is because Nintendo has attached to it far more causual or ‘girly’ games.

It is easy to see that as a girl gamer I am devalued because of my sex and not my abilities. The only women in video games are those who are ‘sexed up’ and the women behind the avatar completely devalued. In one of the fastest growing as top earning industries of all time isn’t it about time that females were allowed a place?

Thomas Wood

Girls are just not allowed to be gamers

Girl gamers take a stand against an industry that seriously neglects them

I have played online games where a girl has wiped the floor with everyone

Gaming is certainly not a man’s world anymore

The world of gaming is often seen as an exclusively male dominated pastime, and although this statement is still true to a large extent it is not simply due to misogyny directed towards women who play games, although that unfortunately does still play a large part.

The main reason that women don’t play games is that the image attached is still one of nerds, booth babes (a degrading factor of the industry that most people, especially male gamers, say could be done without) and game shop assistants that talk big and often down their nose regardless of level of gaming experience.

So far then my argument looks shaky; all these things are combining to confirm that women shouldn’t play games, however I believe all of these elements are instead allowing women to take a stand against an industry that seriously neglects and misrepresents them. Women are not inferior to men, and anybody who still believes the notion should reevaluate their lives.

Playing games is in no way different to watching films or listening to music; however this kind of gender divide is never bought into question where these forms of media are concerned. People will claim that there are more ‘girly’ films or music than in gaming, but how exactly to you define what makes a movie better for a woman than a man? Is Dirty Dancing or the musical Hairspray women’s film? How about Halloween?

These are films that both genders can watch and enjoy.

This carries across to games as well, yes there are games on the market aimed specifically at girls, but these generally are of poor quality or aimed at a much younger audience. However, if a girl decides that she wants to play Call of Duty or Deus Ex, then what is there to say other than she has good taste?

A survey carried out in 2004 stated that “25% of console players and 39% of PC game players are women. Also, 40% of online game players are women; however, these numbers also include casual games.” This is a rather

healthy number, and as these figures were obtained in 2004 it is fairly safe to assume that these figures have probably increased due to the proliferation of online gaming platforms such as steam. The fact however that the survey has to explicitly mention that these figures include casual games, does highlight the mood of the industry and certain hardcore gamers (or ‘prats’ as I call them) that women generally only play things like Bejeweled and other PopCap creations. What’s wrong with this? I certainly enjoy playing Plants Vs Zombies, for example, but will also play games such as La Mulana, Super Meatboy or Armed Assault (if you’re not in the know, they are considered very difficult games and only for the most skilled and ‘hardcore’), and what is to stop a women doing the same? I have played online games where a girl has joined the server and proceeded to wipe the floor with me and everyone else. In fact certain groups (such as www. girlgamer.com) are now appearing online offering places for women gamers to socialise and discuss the hobby they enjoy so much, without having to experience the prejudices they may face going onto other mainstream websites. It’s a sad truth but the amount of times I have seen people online talk down or refuse to help someone about games the moment they realise it is a girl they are talking to is appalling.

Gaming is certainly not a man’s world anymore, it is simply the perception of the industry (if I have to see another Lynx advert on my Xbox featuring scantily clad women I will scream) and a certain select few who unfortunately have created a reputation that even now, with the large uptake of gaming as a whole by females is still seen as the truth. It may take a few more years for these people to realize this, but for everyone else who has common sense we can see the pastime for what it is, one that men and women can both enjoy in equal measure and on equal footing.

12 FILM&TV

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

film.spark@reading.ac.uk

film&TV The Descendants:

George Clooney, family man?

Directed by: Alexander Payne Starring: George Clooney, Shaliene Woodley, Judy Greer, Matthew Lillard, Beau Bridges Running Time: 115 minutes Genre: Drama/Comedy Kate Holman

The hype surrounding George Clooney’s latest performance in The Descendants was certainly a lot to live up to, and it was not a disappointment. Clooney takes the role of the ‘family man’, struggling to readjust to life as a parent, with his character describing himself as always being the ‘back up parent’. This role is a far cry from Clooney’s usual roles as the free bachelor, and accepting his age market as the deadbeat dad, proving the perfect career move.

The character is perfectly relatable as a man desperately trying to engage with his teenage daughters and living every father’s worst fears of rebuilding a family.

Our protagonist is Matt King, a real estate agent whose life is unexpectedly torn apart when his wife Elizabeth is left in a coma following a water skiing accident, and is forced to reconnect with his daughters as he finds himself discovering he knows very little about his family and marriage.

Matt is likeable, we can sympathise with his struggle as he has to step up to his own role as father and mother. We are almost absorbed into his emotions, as we follow through the stresses

of adapting to life without his wife. When his daughter reveals his wife was having an affair the whole dynamic shifts, as we see a man’s effort to come to terms with the betrayal mixed with grief, and in search of the man she cheated with.

The Descendants doesn’t explicitly play on your heart strings, with little emotional breakdowns you’d expect from a film surrounding the grief of a family losing their mother. Don’t be fooled. The subtly is really what makes the film,

as the honest betrayal of a family’s reality and how the protagonist has to cope with his loss. Although he appears angry at his wife’s betrayal and lacks sentimentality, the family dynamic is believable, and the three family members put on a truly real performance.

The story lacks any plot twists and fast paced action, and relies on the four leads to take you with the film. The performances save the film from becoming a tad longwinded, and the slowness of the film is saved by the eventual con-

frontation of the ‘other guy’ in his wife’s life and the discovery of the truth behind it. The chilled Hawaiian feel serves as a to the delicate progression of the film, hinting at the movie’s tenderness, making it the perfect setting for this warm hearted film (although perhaps the Hawaiian shirts could’ve gone amiss).

The film’s simplicity formed by the clever direction of Alexander Payne, making this beautiful comeback after a seven year break from directing. This may not be a tear-jerker, but the acting is superb. Introducing the new talent of Shaliene Woodley, and you can’t miss the small yet powerful performance by Robert Forster as Elizabeth’s father.

If you appreciate the modesty of the film’s structure and plot, this is a pure winner, but if you’re after a stimulating, climatic film this may not be for you. Despite the slightly slow moving sequence of the family drama, it cannot be doubted that Clooney gives his best performance yet.

HHHH

J. Edgar: rubber-faced disappointment Directed By: Clint Eastwood Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Arnie Hammer, Josh Lucas, Judi Dench, Damon Herriman Running Time: 137 Mins Genre: Drama/Biography Saskia Whelan

I have to admit that I knew almost nothing about John Edgar Hoover before sitting down to watch J.Edgar; I’d heard the name before and was vaguely aware that he had something to do with the American government, but what he did and when, I had no idea.

Honestly, I think this diminished my enjoyment somewhat, as it left me scrambling to keep up with the story, which somehow moves at a slow pace while racing through decades. However, the couple seated behind me were evidently familiar with the period, which spans between the early 1910’s to Hoover’s death in 1972, and could occasionally be heard muttering

excitedly “I remember this!” or “That’s Bobby Kennedy!”

Normally I’m a stickler for silence in the cinema, but in this case, I was very grateful for their quiet interruptions; certain huge historical moments, such as Martin Luther King’s famous “I have a dream” speech are used to explicitly represent time shifts, but other than that I was lost.

I can’t review this film without touching on the disastrous aging makeup Perhaps, then, it would be useful to briefly outline the plot of the film, as the trailer doesn’t give much away. Despite being a little lost and confused, I still found the film interesting, as it charts the creation of the F.B.I under Hoover, who was responsible for scientific developments in convictions such as using fingerprints to identify criminals. Clint Eastwood and writer Dustin Lance Black also attempt to show us the secrets of

Hoover’s private life, so there’s plenty of juicy political intrigue and corruption to be enjoyed, as well as a portrayal of Hoover’s close relationship with his mother (Dame Judi Dench).

But I can’t review this film without touching on the frankly disastrous aging make-up used. Leonardo DiCaprio ends up looking totally unbelievable, like a horrible cross between Kim Jong Il and

Philip Seymour Hoffman. When portraying Hoover in his later years, and Arnie Hammer, who plays Hoover’s assistant Clyde Tolston, appears to have had a selection of cold meats and rubber stuck over his face. The cast make a valiant effort to act through their creepy old-age masks, but the magic I’ve come to expect from two-time Oscar-winning director Clint Eastwood is compromised.

If you have a keen interest in American history, then this film is for you. Similarly, if the mention of the F.B.I and the politic secrets and scandals it protected and caused piques your interest, give it a go. But if you’re not great at sitting still for long periods of time and history has you snoozing, it’s probably best to give this a miss.

HH

FILM NEWS IN BRIEF - Not only are they making a fifth installment of the franchise, but Terminator 5 will return and hopefully Arnie will too

film.spark@reading.ac.uk

Spark* Friday 3 February 2012

FILM&TV 13

The Grey: Another class act from Neeson Directed by: Joe Carnahan Starring: Liam Neeson, Dermot Mulroney Running time: 117 minutes Genre: Action/Thriller George Bond

The performances that Liam Neeson put in rarely lead to disappointment. This again is the case with The Grey, a film that is thoroughly enjoyable, perhaps unexpectedly so if you are first told the story line from somebody else.

However, do not let the actionthriller plot fool you into thinking this film will be another thoughtless money maker for the investors involved. The Grey is definitely worth watching and I would

definitely recommend people pay to see it.

The story is based on a group of rough and ready oil riggers who, unfortunately for them, run into a bit of a pickle (to say the least) when being transported to the job in uninhabited Alaskan territory (uninhabited by humans anyway).

The extreme weather conditions make for a crash landing in the middle of nowhere. The tricky conundrum that they are put in involves an undesirable combination of snow, blood-thirsty wolves and a lacking supply of arsenal. A struggle for survival awaits the remaining survivors and they must never let their guard down. The quality of acting of all the cast involved is commendable particularly in scenes where shock, hysteric laughter and tears are included when emotions are running far too high.

Liam Neeson plays John Ottway; a man who’s vital job it is to protect the oil workers from deadly wolves only with a keen eye and his rifle. In the past Neeson consistently fails to disappoint when it comes to roles that involve an overwhelming mental and physical struggle (consider Taken). However in The Grey, Neeson plays a character that lacks the friendly people skills needed even for a bit of small talk when on transportation to the job and seems a rather cold and distant personality. He plays a troubled character that is

on the verge of a mental breakdown. Perhaps the dire situation that he is put in is necessary in order to overcome his inner demons.

Nevertheless, what John Ottway lacks in warmth, he makes up for in his ceaseless protective and survival instincts. This is exemplified in his immediate leadership of the group in the events to follow. Whether Neeson comes face to face with a killer wolf or a negative and disrespectful rigger who hinders group morale, I know whose shoes I’d rather be in –

Neeson’s for sure. Like previous Neeson films, I placed my whole trust in his character getting back to comfortable life unscathed.

Nevertheless, the audience is constantly left guessing throughout.

Credit should be given to the director, Joe Carnahan, who also wrote and directed Smokin’ Aces and The A-Team as well as the screenplay for Pride and Glory.

Carnahan has created a film that remains engaging throughout and I can safely apply the overused phrase, It kept me on the edge

of my seat. The film deserves particular acclaim for the style that it is filmed, where the quality of cinematography in certain scenes is eye-opening with grainy and haunting effects successfully produced. This added depth to the film where religion and philosophy are surprisingly called into question. There is a message to be taken – people live and die, it’s the fight for life that is admirable.

HHHH

Underworld - Awakening: Bringing Sexy Back!

Director: Måns Mårlind & Björn Stein Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Stephen Rae, Theo James Running Time: 88 minutes Genre: Action/Fantasy/ Horror Jack Marshall

It’s official – vampires are sexy again. And ludicrously cool. The werewolves aren’t too bad either.

After a few years of soppiness (credit to the Twilight Saga) the oldest feuding species are back at their best, spewing blood and fighting tooth and claw to perpetuate over ten century’s worth of violence. It’s been three years since the last Underworld film graced global cinema screens; six years since Underworld: Evolution, from which this film continues (the third film in the franchise was a prequel to the entire series). Therefore it’s safe to say that this installment was long overdue.

Vampire Selene (Beckinsale) is captured and separated from her vampire-lycan hybrid lover after humans discover the existence of their species. After twelve chilly

years in a cryogenic chamber Selene awakens to a world very different from the one she last saw.

Vampires are the hunted; lycans are on the brink of extinction and humans are about to reclaim the world as their own. Or are they?

This film isn’t full of twists, but there are enough for you to develop mental-whiplash come the end. Not only this but they’re good twists – they fuel the narrative and for the best-part, you don’t seen

them coming. Awakening is also crammed full of action; breath-taking stunts and sequences all fitted into a neatly woven plot that fills the time perfectly without straying from the story. The storyline in this film is very good – having humans pose a threat to vampires and lycans is a twist in itself and allows for greater development of the vampires and lycans as species: something which was already remarkably well done. The

greater involvement of humans in this instalment (the previous films were very much focused around the vampires and lycans) also allowed for a better level of emotional engagement with the characters and Selene was made especially vulnerable by a certain revelation.

Regarding the format, I’m not usually a fan of 3D, but this film was perfect for it. What’s more, the directors did not go over

the top with sequences that hurl things at you (especially body parts, which they could very easily have done given the level of gore in the film). Instead they chose not to let the 3D format be an overbearing force and discreetly used it to fully envelop you in the action. However, there were times – especially during quick-fire fighting scenes – when the 3D slightly hindered the ability to keep up and it became quite disorientating.

Kate Beckinsale reclaims her lead role with authority and pulls off the seductively sultry Selene and faultlessly instils the level of emotion required of her character in this film: enough to show a vulnerable side but not enough to jeopardise her hard and tough image. I believe it’s one of her most demanding and best performances of the Underworld series – definitely worthy of a nomination!

After leaving itself wide open for yet another sequel, I only hope that, after this input, we’ve not seen the last of Underworld.

HHHH

FILM NEWS IN BRIEF - 18 years since its release, The Crow will be getting the remake treatment, the title role could be played by Bradley Cooper

14 FILM&TV

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

film.spark@reading.ac.uk

film&Tv

Coriolanus: Shakespeare blasts into modern day!

Director: Ralph Fiennes Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Gerard Butler, Brian Cox, Vanessa Redgrave Emma Dawson Running Time: 122 mins Genre: Drama Emma Dawson

You have to give actor Ralph Fiennes credit. For his first time directing a movie, this guy has not gone the easy rom-com route. His choice is Shakespeare's Coriolanus.

Fiennes takes the Shakespearean play and condenses it to two hours, which might bother Shakespearean purists, but there's a case to be made that Fiennes has made it more palatable for 21st century moviegoers.

seems like it could be ripped from today's headlines. Since human behaviour doesn't really change, political conflicts in Shakespeare's time are easily updated and wind up being relevant today.

As far as the performances go, Fiennes does a commanding job in the title role as a military leader, who was once honoured by his people, is cast out, becomes a traitor and ultimately pays the price for his sins. His directorial skills are to be admired, and the film is

shot quite well. But the pacing is a bit confusing in the first half, but it does pick up for the second.

Vanessa Redgrave as his mother, Brian Cox as a political aide, and Gerard Butler as Coriolanus' nemesis are all quite good.

Some audiences grapple with Shakespearean dialogue, and by updating the action, it might not be exactly Shakespeare's vision, but it's intriguing nonetheless.

Plus action film fans will enjoy the bloody fight scenes. This film is

You have to admire the effort Despite the play being centuries old, with the timeless conflicts that we're witnessing on screen, some of this, iambic pentameter aside,

rich in gore, and Fiennes is in the thick of it.

It seems like it could be ripped from today’s headlines Based in modern day Rome, shot in Serbia, and reeking of the recent wars in the former Yugoslavia, the film is as up to date as today's news, and indeed it opens as if we'd just switched on the TV to watch the latest bulletin from a state torn by civil strife. Although the TV news motif works well, I have to say that the cameo from Channel 4's Jon Snow is a gimmicky misjudgment.

At once visceral and intelligent, this beautifully acted, vividly staged film brings a powerful, challenging honesty to bear on class, political life and the demands we make of our leaders.

It reaches out in many different directions, in ways that Shakespeare could never have foreseen. It’s an ambitious project, conceptually, and you have to admire the effort.

HHHH

W.E.: Failing to make Madge-ic!

Director: Madonna Starring: Andrea Riseborough, James D’Arcy, Abbie Cornish Running Time: 119 mins Genre: Romance, Drama Hannah Ridyard

For those of you, like myself, who assumed that Madonna had spent her recent years rolling around in a pink leotard, vogue-ing at herself in the mirror and/or locking lips with Britney, you would be wrong.

It seems that Madge has had bigger fishnets to fry, which has come to us in the shape of her second attempt at film making, W.E..

Set in the 1930s, W.E. tells the story of “the 20th century’s greatest royal love”, that of American Wallis Simpson (played by Andrea Riseborough) and King Edward (James D’Arcy). The story runs in parallel with another contemporary story, which tells the tale of Wally (just in case we don’t get the emotional link between the two female leads), an unhappily married New Yorker, played by Abbie

Cornish, fascinated or arguably obsessed with the life of Simpson.

It is probably best to begin with what is good about the film, which sadly is not a great deal.

The costume design of the film is exquisite, with a recent Academy Award nomination to prove it. The rich colours, luxurious fabrics, and not to mention the jewellery, instantly transport you back to the Hollywood glamour of the 1930s. The same can be said of the sets throughout the film, most of which were shot on location in France and are reminiscent of that particular Dolce & Gabbana ad, where David Gandy is wearing those particular white Speedos.

You know the one.

The cinematography and costumes alone would be enough to make it worth watching again, and every shot could be a photograph on a wall. In addition to this, cutting between 35mm film, 16mm film and black and white archive footage gives the movie the look and feel of a Chanel advert. However, a Chanel advert probably has more substance than W.E. in its entirety.

The main problem with W.E. is the tandem storytelling. The secondary storyline set in the 1990s is wholly unnecessary and actually takes away valuable viewing time from the story of Wallis

and Edward. Riseborough and D’Arcy’s acting is the highlight of the film, with the two making an extremely magnetic and complex couple, who, with more development and, most importantly, more screen time could have made a compelling film by themselves.

However, the same cannot be said for Cornish and her on screen husband William, played by Richard Coyle, whose acting was laboured and would have been better placed in a Channel 5 afternoon movie.

The crosscutting between the two stories brutally highlights the difference in quality and more than anything the film goes on for far too long.

W.E goes to show that money doth not maketh the film…eth, which was largely funded out of Madge’s own pocket, and is clear evidence that film making is not just about quantity but quality.

However, the film is not a total failure and is worth watching if you feel like checking out Britain’s newest acting talent.

HH

Top 10 poorly named films Tom Hill

10. Requiem for a Dream (2000)

This film is most definitely a living nightmare; it should be named more appropriately.

9. Cloverfield (2008)

The film isn’t about a clover field, is it? What the hell does it even mean?

8. Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade (1989) Not the last film in the series as its name implies. Damn you George Lucas.

7. The Never Ending Story (1984)

Only two sequels? What the hell?!

Now I know why Lionel Hutz sued.

6. The Children’s hour (1961)

Similar to No. 10, definitely not for child viewing: suicide and lesbian abuse, all in one neat package.

5. The Incredible Hulk (2008)

It’s a pretty mediocre film and The Hulk isn’t even that impressive in it. Standard.

4. Tron - Legacy (2010)

It’s not about the legacy Tron left so it should be called ‘Tron is Barely in it: Jeff Bridges’ Legacy’.

3. Star Wars - Return of the Jedi (1983) Half the Jedi in this film die and, obviously, don’t return.

2. The Little Mermaid (1989)

Among other things, she is regular sized, so really it should be called ‘The Regular Sized Mermaid who is also a Negative Female Stereotype’.

1. Fight Club (1999)

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club. So why name the movie after it?

FILM NEWS IN BRIEF - The Artist looks set to take the lion’s share at the Oscars this year with 10 nominations, a number only beaten by Scorcese’s Hugo

Spark* Friday 3 February 2012

film.spark@reading.ac.uk

FILM&TV 15

The Sitter: Rude and crude, but worth a watch Director: David Gordon Green Starring: Jonah Hill, Sam Rockwell, Max Records Running Time: 81 Mins Genre: Comedy Hayley Garwood

Jonah Hill's latest film, from the director of Pineapple Express and Your Highness, is obviously aimed at our generation of American

frat-boy comedy fans. Journalists of the Telegraph and Guardian have slandered the film for many reasons, many of which could be applied to the (fabulous) Superbad or Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

dealer of all time, Sam Rockwell is on their case.

Jonah Hill, like Seth Rogan, is a prime target for typecasting

The main let-down of the film lies in the ending Their main issue lies with the persona of Hill, his obesity and its marketed use as an embodiment for all unmotivated, dead-end 20-somethings. Admittedly, Jonah Hill, like Seth Rogan, is a prime target for typecasting (usually weed-smoking victims of uncontrollable events, just trying to get laid), and it only occasionally doesn't hit the spot, due to overfamiliarity. In this film though, Jonah's performance continued to make me laugh out loud; and not just any laugh, the 'dirty' laugh (you know what I mean).

The Sitter begins with Noah (Hill) at the house of who he coins to be his “girlfriend”, but who is clearly using him because “nice guys give the best oral sex”. Not the most modest beginning to a film, but we soon learn that Noah is a nice guy who just lacks prospects, motiva-

tion and a little bit of commonsense.

When he is guilt tripped into babysitting for his mother's friend, so she can doll-up for meeting a potential new man, the adventure begins. The three babysittees consist of the consistently anxious Slater (the adorable Max Records, Where the Wild Things Are), an underaged Ke$ha-wannabe Blythe (Landry Bender) and the adopted

Sherlock: The jewel in the BBC’s crown Tom Hill

Though I'm not a fan of what Stephen Moffat has done to Doctor Who, I can say that what he and Mark Gatiss have done in their Sherlock Holmes adaptation is one of the best things to be on TV for the past few years, and should definitely not be missed (though, at this point, if you’ve not seen it, you have missed all the episodes).

After the cliffhanger ending of series one, series two picks up right where it left off with Sherlock Holmes, the consulting detective, about to be put to death

by James Moriarty, the consulting criminal, for meddling in his plans.

He obviously gets out of it, but I won't ruin how, for those who are yet to watch. After this, the detective and his faithful companion, Dr John Watson, return to tackling an assortment of mysteries adapted from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's original Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. These include adaptations of A Scandal in Bohemia, The Hound of the Baskervilles and The Final Problem. The episodes also contain montages with references to other mysteries Sherlock has solved in his time (which are probably not long enough to fill an entire episode); this is a nice

idea, but is a waste of what could potentially be 45 minute episodes of Sherlock's further adventures, making the series longer while they're at it.

Each of the main stories work well, not feeling too condensed or too spread out over each 90 minute episode, and some leave you genuinely impressed by how they solve what actually happened. The Hounds of Baskerville was by far the best episode of the series.

Acting wise, everyone is superb.

Benedict Cumberbatch is intense and hilarious as the misanthropic Holmes, while Martin Freeman does well as his accomplice and one and only friend, Dr John Watson. Personally, I thought Andrew Scott was the most impressive as Jim Moriarty, a man who seemed to know he was mentally deranged and was loving every minute of it, using it as an excuse to organise crimes.

Personally, I've never liked the character Irene Adler; she seems like the Boba Fett of the Sherlock universe in that people overestimate her contribution to the actual story. Even so, Lara Pulver gave an impressive performance, though seems to lack chemistry with Benedict Cumberbatch.

The stories of Sherlock Holmes are works of genius, not difficult to adapt to a working series. However, Stephen Moffat has excelled himself with this series, producing something that could stay with us for an entire generation.

HHHHH

Spanish run-away and pyromaniac Rodrigo (Kevin Hernandez). All is well until, typically, Noah agrees to score his “girlfriend” some coke and take it to a house-party in order to get laid. Suspending the belief that any man would attempt to combine babysitting with a drug-pick up, the result is much worse than expected. After Rodrigo steals a dinosaur egg full of cocaine, perhaps the craziest drug

I agree with some other reviews in that this plot is familiar - most definitely a hybrid of The Hangover and The Pacifier. I spent most of the film with my face in my friend's arm cringing with anticipation of sheer awkwardness. The main let-down of the film lies in the ending, and I wish that Green didn't feel the need to create morals out of what is essentially a film about drug-snorting and incontinent children. Where he has before only mocked the happy-ending, there is a genuine sentimental side to Noah's relationship with the children which needs concluding. Don't believe all the negative reviews though. The Sitter is still hilarious and makes for some light-hearted Jonah Hill giggle times (particularly when he attempts to fit in at the Bronx).

Whoever started taking comedy so seriously completely missed the point.

HHH

This fortnight at the RFT...

Student Tickets: £4.50 This week at the RFT; My Week with Marilyn starring Oscar nominated Michelle Williams. Based on the memoirs of Laurence Olivier’s assistant during the filming of The Prince and the Showgirl, this fills in a missing week within the diary during which he has a short affair with one of the most famous actresses of the time. Also coming up is Romantics Anonymous which follows a chocolate factory owner, on the brink of bankruptcy, who goes through a nervous romance with his new sales assistant.

Tuesday 7 February (20:00):

My Week with Marilyn (15) Thursday 9 February (20:00):

Romantics Anonymous (12A) Tuesday 14 February (20:00):

Midnight in Paris (12A) Thursday 16 February (20:00):

Tyrannosaur (18) Tuesday 21 February (20:00):

The Well-Digger’s Daughter (PG)

Prices: Members £4.50 Non-members £6.00 Annual Membership £10.00

FILM NEWS IN BRIEF - The surviving members of Monty Python will be reuniting to lend their voices to the farcical sci-fi animation Absolutely Anything

16 MUSIC

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

music.spark@reading.ac.uk

music

LIVE

Spark* exposes itself to M83’s epic, alien live performance

M83 24th January 2012 O2 Academy, Oxford Emily Tredinnick

As the lights dim and the stage door opens, the intimate O2 venue shudders from the super-psyched crowd. But something isn’t quite right. Through the thick, purpleblue haze a questionable figure shuffles forward. A masked, alien creature dressed in black is revealed and raises its arms to indicate the launch of this musical mission. What would seem ultimately bizarre seems in fact perfectly normal among these geeky sci-fi fans. The band’s name was inspired by the spiral galaxy, Messier 83, after all.

When the band finally arrive on-stage they launch straight into Intro, the first track on their new album Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming. The strobe lights are in sync with the galvanising backing track and the distorted lyrics whisper “we didn’t need a story. We didn’t need a real world. We just had to keep walking”. And walk they did, straight into the realm of an intergalactic world, warped by their shoegazing sounds and electromagnetic beats.

They take on the classics first with the timeless Teen Angst followed by We Own the Sky. Lead singer and founder of the band, Anthony Gonzalez, dances with his head in his hands while Morgan Kibby exposes her flawless vocal in a pulsating version of the song.

FEATURE Laurence Green & Jamie Milton

Where once torrents streamed freely, where file sharing was the young person’s universal religion, there is now no more.

Johnny knew what he was doing was wrong, but that didn’t stop him. It had become something of an addiction, a physical urge he was powerless to resist. You see, Johnny craved music - he needed it. On his skant allowance he could at best afford only one album a month - but with a whole panoply of content beckoning to him online, he soon realised money was no obstacle when it came to acquiring music. Johnny was a serial file-sharer, an illegal downloader of the highest order.

But times had grown harsh. First Limewire, then Megaupload - all the greats had fallen. One by one, every avenue of Johnny’s addiction had been cut down and slain

A couple of tracks in however and the band experience some technical difficulty, putting the show on hold for a few minutes.

Fortunately for those on the barrier, the sound issues mean a handshake from Gonzales along with a ‘thanks for coming’ in his racy French-fuelled accent.

To make up for lost time, they alter the set list and ignite the room once again with the euphoric sound that is Midnight City. A female sax player steps out to recreate the renowned James King solo on the original track, while Gonzalez casually perches on the end of the stage.

Tonight, the tiny Oxford venue could only just support the supersonic intensity of what was a phenomenally epic, live performance.

Kaiser Chiefs 28th January 2012 The Hexagon, Reading Rachel Pilcher

Releasing their fourth album in the summer of last year, following a two year break, Kaiser Chiefs return to the live scene to prove they’re still one of the best live acts around. With older hits gaining the most favourable crowd reaction, the band will undoubtedly always put on an impressive set.

The gig kicked off with the ever popular Everyday I Love You Less and Less. The crowd were instantly whipped up in a frenzy, with people of all ages, including myself, jumping, or rather being pushed, around and shouting lyrics at the top of their lungs. Modern Way also grabbed the crowd’s attention, but nothing could prepare for their reaction to the string of hits that got everyone moving, literally, in all directions. This string of hits being Ruby, Na Na Na Na Naa, and I Predict a Riot; the latter perhaps getting a larger reception thanks to last year’s summer riots.

The beer was flowing and being thrown, creating a (not particularly pleasant smelling) atmosphere that seemed to unite everyone.

Frontman Ricky Wilson knows how to get a crowd riled up, attempting a whole crowd Mexican wave, and

encouraging crowd participation in songs, to name just a few of his crowd pleasing tactics.

Of course, Ricky continued tradition by entering and singing through the crowd for ‘live-only’ track Take My Temperature, a move that undoubtedly excited those seated along the route he chose to take.

The gig definitely came to a close on a high Unfortunately, tracks from latest album The Future is Medieval didn’t seem to grip the crowd as much as the older tracks, although Kinda Girl You Are was a personal highlight. Little Shocks was perhaps most favoured among the crowd, if only since it’s the track that got the most radio attention.

We were also treated to a completely new track, On the Run, which, in my opinion, is a definite return to form for them.

Returning for a short encore and ending most suitably on Oh My God, the gig definitely came to a close on a high. Kaiser Chiefs truly know how to show a crowd a good time, and tonight, they did not disappoint. We may have been soaked in beer, sweat and God knows what else, but it was worth it. Brilliant, energetic, and utterly entertaining.

A hypothetical, futuristic trauma for the illegally addicted

by the fatcat lawyers who deemed file-sharing a crime. Starved and malnourished, Johnny was forced to resort to increasingly obscure blogs and message boards to seek out the albums he so desparetely wanted. Plunging into the darkest recesses of the internet, Johnny fought on against the law, believing it his fundamental right to be able to download whatever music he might choose.

Johnny was a serial file-sharer, an illegal downloader of the highest order One morning, Johnny awoke early, crawling from his bed and over to the dim luminosity of his laptop screen - his final bastion of filesharing was pre-loaded, but wait...

ERROR - the screen flashed white.

The site was gone, like all before it, finally shut down by order of the record labels.

Johnny pounded the desk in frustration, screaming his anguish out to a world that had moved on. And then, a knock at the door. Johnny’s stomach dropped, he knew already who it would be. The police, finally catching up with him, finally there to claim their due and extract judgement in return for a lifetime of illegal downloading. In vain, Johnny’s fingers flashed at his keyboard, hastily attempting to delete his ill-gotten files. Ed Sheeran, Adele, The Vaccines... the MP3s dissolved away at a frustratingly slow pace. The laptop jammed, straining under the pressure - the delete process halted, a corrupted porn file pasting itself across the screen, almost mocking Johnny in its lewd affirmations of everything he was: a possessor of illegal content.

The police smashed their way through the door, and head bowed in resignation, Johnny was led away, his external hard drive cracked in half.

Cut to three months later and Johnny is in his best suit, facing a court of law. In the previous few days, heads of Rapidshare and Fileserve have been sentenced to a life imprisonment in an off-shore camp on the edges of Siberia.

Their various assets - Ferraris, private jets, subscriptions to Playboy - are all wiped out. Johnny expects a similar punishment: He sits adjacent to six fellow, spotty young music downloaders. Each and every one of them admits to possessing a dearth of Ed Sheeran bootleg recordings - despite the advice of their respective lawyers, encouraging them to hide such a gross lack of taste. Individually, they receive a suitable punishment: for the next 25 years of

their lives, they will be chained together, following Justin Bieber on his world tour and performing as backing dancers, without pay, without amateur porn and without their prized Ed Sheeran recordings. Johnny is whisked out of the defence chamber with his fellow criminals, each cursing the day that they decided to click “download”.

Spark* Friday 3 February 2012

music.spark@reading.ac.uk

ALBUMS

Nightwish Imaginaerum Nuclear Blast

Phil Whittaker

Returning creepier than ever before, Nightwish have excelled themselves with their latest concept album, Imaginaerum. It was produced alongside the movie

Finnish metal for people who like to experiment...

of the same name, which will be released some time this year.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the work of Nightwish, their genre can be described as being symphonic-folk-power metal blended with an orchestra. It’s not really a mainstream sound, but definitely one for people who like to experiment.

Harlequins, crazy clowns and powerful distortion are the three ingredients that Nightwish have alchemised to brew a potion of addiction. Once you hear the lead single, Storytime, you’ll be hooked forever. You are lead down a long road until you reach Ghost River, certainly one of the more frightening tracks I’ve heard in my lifetime. After being petrified, Slow, Love, Slow lets you drift into a world of your own.

I Want My Tears Back is possibly my favourite song on the album.

The combination of fiddles, uilleann pipes and guitars just makes

me smile with appreciation and wonder. Admittedly, I’ve always been a fan of original vocalist Tarja Turunen, but Anette Olzon certainly does not disappoint on this album, she has stepped her game up, and so has the rest of the band.

So, as I stated earlier, Ghost River was one of the scarier tracks I’ve heard in my lifetime, but Scaretale makes it seem like a lullaby. The combination of the child’s nursery rhyme ‘Ring a ring o’ roses’, Anette Olzon’s haunting vocals, dark scales, laughter and heavily tuned guitars make this one hell of an intense track.

I’ve always been a fan of Finnish music; they always put so much effort and passion into their songs.

There are several bands similar to Nightwish, but none that deliver like they do and this is why they will always remain on top for me.

HHHHH pictures because my memory won’t hold’, and I’m resisting the urge to swoon. Again, the sound is understated and we are led to listen to their flawless harmonies and innovative lyrics. The sound is much more British folk led than the previous track, with an obvious comparison to Mumford and Sons, but there is still an invocation of American country, and throughout their music the influence of Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan is evident.

The album deftly captures a sense of

Wire Sound

Becky Cromie

Yorkshire band In Fear of Olive made their debut with EP All We Can Do is Wonder last year, with a follow up due in early 2012. The record quite literally kicks off with catchy indie folk inspired I’m Sure They’ll Fall, reminiscent of an early Kings of Leon. The track is drum led with a jumpy, although at times minimalistic guitar melody, and the intended focus is definitely on the vocals and lyrics. Guitarist and vocalist Jake Rope sings

with a distinctly American twang, slightly rugged in tone, which although unusual from a Yorkshire boy, doesn’t alter the authenticity of what is a mature and carefully formed sound from a comparatively young group.

There’s a rawness to their music, a haunting realism of distinct rarity All We Can Do Is Wonder then makes a retreat into the much softer Led me Astray, opening with the lyric ‘we should take more

Tom James Parmiter Providence Zube Records

Louise Sagnia

Tom James Parmiter, a 26-year-old self-labelled composer brings to us the album, Providence. It is an ambitious debut with a wide scope of musical influence, resulting in an electronica/orchestral/ trip-hop

The Weeknd Echoes of Silence XO

hopelessness following

Richard Petty

heartbreak

With no major label contract and little support, The Weeknd, otherwise known as Abel Tesfaye, has gone from being unheard of in the world of R&B to becoming its biggest auteur. Contrary to the recent rise of Lana Del Rey, which appears to have been orchestrated every step of the way by her label, Tesfaye has done it alone, eschewing the circling major labels and releasing his albums for free, whilst managing to keep his mysterious persona . Echoes of Silence represents his third album in a year, but can it continue the winning streak started by House of Balloons, and continued with Thursday?

The album kicks off with a cover of Michael Jackson’s Dirty Diana and Tesfaye pulls it off with aplomb, his silky vocals hitting the highs accompanied by jackhammer drums and strings. Throughout the past albums Tesfaye has played the flawed lothario card and it continues here, singing about his sexual prowess with boasts such as ‘baby once I’m finished you won’t

In Fear of Olive continue their makeover of American Country with the melodic and beautiful Peace of Mind and we have well and truly left Yorkshire.

In Fear of Olive All We Can Do Is Wonder

MUSIC 17

In Fear of Olive debut with a well-formed sound and a diverse EP The EP concludes with the sultry The Only Way is Down. The lyrics perfectly capture a sense of hopelessness following heartbreak, and a distinct rawness to their music creating a haunting realism found rarely in the current charts.

In Fear of Olive debut with a well formed sound and a diverse EP, possessing a rawness and maturity setting them apart from other young artists.

HHHH

fusion. The album is a surreal listening experience featuring many singles which would not seem out of place on a sci-fi movie soundtrack.

The album opening title track is full of lingering synthesisers which overturn into Moby-esque euphoric piano, setting the expectations for the rest of the album as incredibly high. Kyoto Dreams features frenzied strings against piano and synth creating Parmiters’ signature sound, a perfect blend of classical and electronica.

The aim of Providence isn’t to create anthemic music but an album with haunting lines, steady but complex percussion and classical melody. It is an album to chill out to, an album to meditate to. Forget a chorus or even lyrics, Tom James Parmiter has created an album which is a minimalist dream.

HHHH want to go outside’ on Outside, regular references to substance abuse but also his weaknesses, with cracks appearing such as on the title track where he shows genuine desire with his final heartfelt croon to a lover ‘please don’t leave my little life’.

Once again the production throughout is impeccable, with regular collaborator Illangelo’s use of ghostly atmospherics and reverb again creating the perfect accompaniment and sense of desolation for Tesfaye’s haunting vocals, but without the reliance of samples on House of Balloons or guitars on Thursday. On Initiation, Tesfaye’s vocals warp in and out of focus, pitch shifts up and down to create a nightmarish feel of insanity and a narcotics binge gone bad. Clams Casino - currently hip-hop’s biggest up-and-coming producer and owner of one of its most unique production styles - produces The Fall, combining tremolo, woozy bass, handclaps, woodblock hits and a choir of Tesfayes to fashion a disturbing soundscape.

Echoes of Silence, the sincere finisher to the album and the trilogy, as a whole, plays it simple with piano and a barebone string arrangement, and as the echoes of the piano die out there’s no doubt that this album is indeed a strong finish to one of the most remarkable creative streaks in music.

With the support of his fellow Canadian and close friend Drake there’s no doubt The Weeknd is going to be one of the biggest stars in R&B, which in a way is a real shame, as with a major record deal undoubtedly in the pipeline it’ll mean no more top quality music for free.

HHHH

18 MUSIC

music.spark@reading.ac.uk

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

ALBUMS

Cloud Nothings Attack On Memory Wichita

Jamie Milton

It’s easy to forget that Cloud Nothings used to be a bedroom project.

Dylan Baldi was responsible for each and every strand of instrumentation, every strain of guitar on his opening salvo of songs, from his house in Westlake, Ohio. There are lots of teenagers out there right now who do a similar thing to Baldi but who for the life of them, can’t write a song like Hey Cool Kid, therefore the chance of getting picked up by a concert promoter, before eventually recording with one of the world’s most famous producers, are indeed slim.

But there are hundreds of them out there; all sitting at home, strumming a guitar, dreaming to be in Baldi’s current position: Selling records, touring all year with friends, with some critical acclaim to boot. And yet Attack On Memory, Cloud Nothings’ second record as a full-band, documents

the sound of a group of guys (or at least, one guy, their frontman) and a frustration at being misjudged or pigeonholed based on one record.

Last year’s self-titled debut had a sewn in winners’ badge, highlighting the group’s ability to pencil in quirky pop-punk songs; devoid of meaning but all the more enjoyable for it. This reputation visibly aggrieved Baldi. The album itself was good, but it wasn’t careerdefining. And judging by the lyrical content and sheer, genuine angst circuiting the bloodstream of Attack On Memory, that will come as some relief to hear. In actual fact, this follow-up work of pent-up aggression; of complete contrast to snappy pop-punk; has every chance of becoming the band’s seminal work.

Or at the very least, it’s the sound of a band turning a corner and seeing a street paved with gold. Baldi and co. have tapped into a sound that suits them best. Unlike its predecessor, it’s an album that carries a tendency to leave its listener speechless. Any close friend who excitably brings this album up in conversation will choose first to tell you about Wasted Days, a song clocking in at 8 minutes, 53 seconds; its length defined by a frightening build-up of complete unadulterated anger. As mantras go, the song’s repeated cry of “I thought/ I would/ be more/ than this” is far from sing-along, more ‘shout and pump-your-chest’ along.

Much of Attack On Memory follows a similar tact. The major chord structures of Fall In and Stay Useless might appear to the naked ear as some suitable follow

SINGLES

Chiddy Bang Ray Charles EMI

Tim Fraser

Their second single since signing to a major label, Ray Charles sees the American hip-hop duo at their most soulful with a gospel choir and up-beat production, filled to

up to the last record, but in actual fact they come across like snarky renditions of their forefathers; the cheerfulness of the melody is applied as an ironic contrast to the lyrics resting inside.

Strokes last effort out of the park, and keeps the garage rock torch alight. The first album from the quintet is full of rocket-propelled crackers such as Beach Sluts, This One’s Different and Pythagorean Fearem as well as slower numbers like the dark Back To The Grave.

The reverb fueled guitar licks have an almost 60s surf rock feel to them, as can be heard in the infectious Back Of Your Neck, which is also the first single that the band have released from the album.

It’s the sound of a band turning a corner and seeing a street paved with gold The further the album progresses, the darker and more obviously riled it becomes. No Sentiment is all snarling vocals close to resembling pre-mammalian scream, Our Plans is down-right miserable and Cut You is the crowning glory in all of the desolation.

Oddly, it’s an album that allows its listener to enjoy the misery on show. Unlike most dark concepts which tend to wilfully bring you down to its emotional low, each in-ear tantrum acts a prompt for you to lose your temper and throw stuff around the room; more out of gratification than depression. Much to Baldi’s presumed discontent, Cloud Nothings have inadvertently continued a formula of making albums for youngsters to dance to. Only this time round, they’re also showcasing genuine desire and emotion; a clear aim of staying in this music-making circus for the long run. And it’s for everyone to see: The bedroom producer is close to becoming an idolised rock-star.

HHHH

Howler America Give Up Rough Trade

Charlie Allenby

With Howler already receiving the title of NME’s ‘third best new band of 2011’ and being one of The Fly Magazine’s ‘ones to watch in 2012,’ their debut album America Give Up is certainly the debut of a band on the rise, and is definitely worth at least a listen. The band have already been likened to the daddy’s of modern garage rock, The Strokes, and the similarities are clear – a five-piece, fast paced, garage rock band from the USA with catchy songs that are likely to be all over your radio in the year.

The band have already been likened to the Strokes However the similarities end there, with Howler making an album that arguably smashes the

The reverb fueled guitar licks have an almost 60s surf rock feel to them These melodies combine throughout the album with the singer Jordan Gatesmiths’ crooning baritone vocals to create a sound, which although not completely unique, is fully complete. The band are currently embarking on a UK tour to support the release of the album, with tickets for their London date completely sold out, showing how in demand they already are.

Although the similarities can be seen between this band and their garage rock forefathers, Howler are more than a mere imitation.

They are the evolved, upgraded version, and I expect them to be big, with their live show likely to appear at festivals across the country this summer. Plus, it’s nice to see a band this invigorated so early into their career.

HHHH

Major label efforts from Chiddy Bang, Emeli Sandé and Ed Sheeran

the brim with piano, horns and a big, old-school hip-hop beat. Rapper Chiddy cheekily compares himself to Ray Charles and, apart from making some truly cringeworthy jokes referencing his blindness, succeeds in honouring the soul singer’s legendary status.

The choir keeps the song energetic and lively, especially during the final part of the track when they sing ‘You’re too blind to see it’ (what did I tell you about those jokes?) over Chiddy’s refrain. A band previously most well-known for sampling British indie bands in their mixtapes (and also for holding the world record for the longest ever freestyle rap), with Ray Charles it looks like Chiddy Bang are ready to make some big waves in the UK charts in 2012.

HHHH

Emeli Sandé Next To Me Virgin

George Reed

Emeli Sandé material released so far has caught the attention of critics and music moguls alike, having already been awarded the Critics Choice Award at this year’s BRITs, as well as being nominated numerous times for Best Newcomer at various ceremonies.

Whereas Heaven had Sande’s voice soaring over an epic drum n’ bass backing, reminiscent of Katy B’s underground sound, Next To Me is a much more blues inspired piece.

It is a purely piano-driven number, with a thumping drum-beat to accompany it. There are hints here of the American-Blues style that was seen on Adele’s latest album 21 However, that doesn’t mean that

Emeli doesn’t have her own unique sound. Both musically and lyrically it is a fun and moving song that showcases Emeli both as a writer and singer. If this pure musical talent transcends into every song on her upcoming album, titled Our Version Of Events, then it is surely destined for the Number One slot.

HHHH Ed Sheeran Drunk Atlantic

Amy Barlow

Drunk - a subject not only close to every student’s heart, but also the title of Ed Sheeran’s fourth new single, set to be released on 27 February. Taken from his triple platinum album+, Sheeran does what he does best and turns a

melancholy subject into something beautiful.

With the lyrics reminiscent of questions we all ask ourselves post break-up, this gentle ode carries a sense of reassurance and with Sheeran’s soft vocals you cannot help but believe you’re listening to something far more jovial. With the hint of a smile in Sheeran’s voice alongside the easy rhythm of the guitar and gentle sound of the drums running through the track, Drunk represents a softer side to teenage angst. Sheeran’s single isn’t dissimilar from his previous hit Lego House, so if you were a fan, Drunk will be right up your street. At the same time, however, you may also be disappointed by Sheeran’s lack of creativity, releasing yet another heart-felt-raspyvoiced single. Word to Ed Sheeran, change the subject please.

HHH

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20 ARTS&BOOKS

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

arts.spark@reading.ac.uk

Arts&BOOKS Simply outstanding Book review of Atonement Ian McEwan Lucy Snow

Laced with regret, tension and reality, Atonement is the intricate novel that will gently linger within you after being read. It will load your mind with emotion, perhaps empathy, but will leave you amazed at the journey McEwan takes you on.

The gripping story will ponder amongst your thoughts asking you, how a misunderstanding can change how we think, feel and look. How we live. The plot will lead you to contemplate how one perspective can transform another’s fate.

The gripping story will ponder amongst your thoughts Briony Tallis is a bright thirteenyear-old who desires the limelight within her wealthy, yet corrupt family. Her need for attention is fuelled by her love for writing plays and melodramas as she craves great praise through her

creativity. When the naive Briony witnesses her sister Cecilia boldly stripping her clothes off and plunging into a garden fountain at the family’s country home, Briony is horrified at what she sees.

McEwan is the master of postmodernism in this beautiful tragedy Furthermore Robbie, a childhood family friend, stands by Cecilia at the time, which leads to a string of confusion and corruption. Briony’s imagination is the tool that victimises her family, transforming the truth, as well as their lives forever.

Her crime now leaves her in a persistent pit of remorse as she spends the rest of her life trying to atone for her sin. The question is, will she ever, or in fact does she ever? Will Briony’s wrongdoing follow her to a bitter grave, or will she attempt to make amends?

That is for you to decide in this utterly thrilling tale that will keep you ticking in a world of multiple perspective and endless emotion.

A must read. Truly stunning!

The dangerous art!

What Am I? Creative Writing Charlotte coster

Leaflet review of Confronting the Danger Of Art Ian McLachlan and Phil Cooper Adam Knowles

Confronting the Danger of Art is, at a glance, extraordinarily unusual.

Claiming to be published for the Department for Public Safety, this leaflet describes precautions to be taken around—and the appropriate responses to—an ever-present hazard: art.

Some pages are amusing, if not downright silly Half Plato’s Republic and half Protect and Survive, the leaflet describes the risks associated with art, including “Exposure” and“Fallout,” as well as the signs that one of your friends or family members may secretly be an

artist. Ironically, the leaflet itself is a combination of poetry by Ian McLachlan and illustration by Phil Cooper.

Exaggeration and chilling subtlety is in many ways the leaflet’s greatest strength Though neither of these would be particularly striking on their own, combined in this format they work very well. Some pages are amusing, if not downright silly, while others are perhaps a little too sinister to be taken entirely as a joke.

This combination of joking exaggeration and chilling subtlety is in many ways the leaflet’s greatest strength, presenting big ideas in a way that maintains an appropriate sense of gravity while also providing a sort of comic relief.

Its greatest weakness, perhaps, is the price tag: £5.00 plus postage

seems somewhat excessive for a 22 page booklet. Nevertheless, for anyone interested, more information is available at http://dfps. tumblr.com/ .

Noise maker, Drug taker, Disco dancer, Late-night chancer, Up all-nighter, Fisty fighter, Binge drinker, Exam thinker, Essay writer, Ciggie lighter, Sofa lounger, Food scrounger, Constant squabbler, Chocolate gobbler, What-a-pigger.

But perfect figure, Can’t cooker, ‘She’s a looker!’

Celeb drooler, Must be cooler, Back stabber, Cream dabber, Make-up user, Boyfriend chooser, Frequent shouter, Lip pouter, Telly gazer, Morning lazer, Parent hater, Always later.

Of all the types Who walk the earth I’m a teenager And they’re the worst.

Poetry, prose, plays... you write it, we print it! Get creative and send it to us at arts. spark@reading.ac.uk

Spark* Friday 3 February 2012

arts.spark@reading.ac.uk

ARTS&BOOKS 21

So much drama, so much Progress Reading’s Progress Theatre Writefest Emily Herd

Writefest, at Reading’s Progress Theatre at the end of the 2011, was the sixth of what has now become an annual event in the Theatre’s calendar. It was something that was described as being, ‘eagerly anticipated’.

I would be lying if I said I was free from anxiety at the start of the event. When the lights went down and the audience were reminded that when turning off electrical equipment, pacemakers were not included, I thought that perhaps I was slightly younger than the target audience. Only ten minutes into the evening, I found that I had been pleasantly mistaken.

The scripts of the evening all evoked different emotions from the audience Writefest is a celebration of writing. People from across the country send scripts to the Progress, in the hope that their piece shall be chosen for the event which presents only a handful of plays.

The seven that were chosen, were from both new and previous winners; all of which were completely original. Some being very natural-

istic and very human: from being stuck in a traffic jam, arguing with the self-check-out tills, to the daily annoyance we all face of having to share your husband with his love of everything sci-fi.

I would be lying if I said I was free from anxiety at the start of the event There were moments of the psychological, in a less than ordinary murder mystery and an insight into the mind of a man obsessed with a woman and the thoughts that run through his mind. Then insights into the surreal in a conversation with two historical figures from very different times but with similar problems, and finally no night at the theatre would be complete, without an insight into the minds of two chickens and their views on evolution.

The scripts of the evening all aimed to evoke different emotions from the audience. Humour came most strongly from Chicken Sh*t, an offering from new playwright, Tessa Verdugo. Her story of Beryl (Sam Rogers) and Florence (Lousie Banks) was not only comical but thoughtful. The two chickens gave their thoughts on Darwin and evolution after spending time reading the newspaper lining the rabbit hut; coming to the obvious conclusion that they were next to evolve

and start a revolution. It was not however just the script that makes this play stand out. The costumes raised the roof from the moment the characters entered the stage and the slow motion fights for gummy worms broke the serious moments beautifully. The highlight, though, was the irony of their feed being kept in a KFC bucket. The two actresses that brought this piece to life not only managed to act like chickens with excellent comic timing, but managed to do the whole performance with a straight face. Something the audience failed miserably at.

This is an event that everyone has the opportunity to be a part of It was not only this one script that contained moments of brilliance but with seven performances in all, detailing all the highlights would mean you would be reading a short novel, rather than a review. The concepts all worked well to evoke feelings from the audience. The ideas within Letter H Girl, saw the collision between two people who committed suicide.

Both were young aspiring artists, poet Thomas Chatterton and actress Miss Entwistle, the latter who jumped from the ‘H’ on the Hollywood sign in 1932. The script was very romantic in that the

combining of these two characters and their potentially parallel mind frame’s worked wonderfully.

The concepts all worked well to evoke feelings from the audience Meanwhile A Quiet Night In, took the audience into the privacy of a couples attempt to act out a sexual fantasy by inviting another man to join them. The acting and script

by Arthur Burke, created a wonderfully awkward atmosphere that resonated with the audience as did the nervous laughter and relief of the couples decision to stop the evening, and try again another night.

The night not only showcased wonderful writing but also wonderful acting from the small company who took on multiple roles throughout the evening.

Tom Wansey, gave a thoroughly convincing performance as Adam, the lead in She’s Not There, by Liz Carroll. Her psychological story leaves the audience without answers, we are torn as to whether we believe Adam’s ‘fictional’ muse might actually be real, and also missing. The evidence seems air-tight but Tom’s conviction in the role of Adam, completely full of despair, leaves us unsure of the truth. Also worth a mention is Alex McCubbin, who, as well as

acting, on short notice took on the role of compere for the evening and kept the audience very well entertained during set changes and other quiet moments.

Having scripts presented at this event was a great achievement for the seven successful writers who were able to see their thoughts brought to life. As a result, their plays may go on to be part of theatre festivals and gain even further recognition.

This is an event that absolutely everyone has the opportunity to be a part of. So, if you are an aspiring writer of theatre or even short stories, and you fancy putting your work into theatre form, then send your submissions to the Progress Theatre and this time next year, it may be your work being reviewed in this paper.

For more information visit: http:// www.progresstheatre.co.uk

Aboard the Orient Express Review on Agatha Christie’s Midnight on the Orient Express George Bond

It recently came to my attention in a respectable newspaper, that reading fiction helps develop an individual’s awareness of their own character and the characters of others around them as they conjure up their own thoughts on the description of fictional characters.

I extracted from this a personal assertion that detective stories are the most effective kind of fiction in this respect, as the reader naturally evaluates the personalities in question and decides whether a certain character is benevolent or ominous.

One could therefore say that the more detective stories that somebody reads, the more acute the sense of character judgement becomes.

In the hope ot encouraging fellow students to distract themselves

from reading works written by academics who, if I may speak for myself, could not care less whether we are entertained or not by their words of wisdom and to drag them away from that universally detestable place, namely the library. I can think of no better distraction from academic study and no better place to begin a progressive thirst for detective stories than by reading a short but sweet book written by the Queen of Crime herself. The person that I am referring to is of course no other than Agatha Christie.

The genius of Poirot and thus Christie should not be overlooked Although Midnight on the Orient Express was published in 1934, I deem it necessary to revive one of the greatest murder mysteries ever written. It is one of Agatha Christie’s most reputable crime

novels starring the enigmatic Belgian detective, Hercule Poirot. As this was my first real insight into the brilliant mind of Poirot, I could not guess what to expect from him and may have been guilty of underestimating his talent at the beginning of the book. This was perhaps caused by my high expectations for the intelligence of detectives with the standard that Sherlock Holmes has set.

The genius of Poirot and thus Christie should not be overlooked however and does not disappoint in the end when all is revealed.

Impeccable intuition and diligent deduction is required of Poirot to guess who is the suspect of a savage murder that takes place in the cabin next door to his. It’s soon realised that the suspect must still remain on the train as it is forced to grind to an emergency stop in-between two stations due to the emergence of a snowstorm.

It is also figured out by applying evidence given from passengers at certain positions on the train, that it is impossible for the suspect or

suspects to be anyone else other than the twelve people in the same carriage as Poirot’s.

I deem it necessary to revive one of the greatest murder mysteries ever written What follows from this is a number of interviews with each passenger, which Poirot meticulously conducts whilst helping solve the case by applying cautious logic to the clues given. This is where our own judgement of the revealing characters and our memory for detail proves vital in order to guess correctly who of the twelve passengers is the person or persons who managed to kill the man by stabbing him twelve times. The case proves especially difficult as the angle and varied severity of the stab wounds makes it impossible to determine the gender or height of the suspect or whether they are right or left-handed. I

leave it to you to read Midnight On The Orient Express to either apply your own reason to decide whom the murderer is or simply sit back and let Hercule Poirot do the hard work.

22 FASHION

fashion.spark@reading.ac.uk

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

FASHION

Introducing... Julia Sarr-Jamois Shirts for her erin harding

You may recognise Julia Sarr-Jamois. Known for her perfect afro and mixing of denim with a unique choice of colour and accessories, she is definitely someone who stands out. But recently her signature ‘fro is not all that’s caught our attention.

Sarr-Jamois began her career in fashion as a model for Diesel and Fred Perry, but felt that she needed to channel her energy into something more creative. Trying her luck as a stylist, she began an internship at i-D magazine. Since then she has gone on to become Fashion Editor of Wonderland Magazine and produce daring editorial work for the likes of Vogue and Grazia. In addition to this, she is a permanent fixture on street style blogs, especially during the major four fashion weeks - New York, London, Paris and Milian.

All at the age of 23! There is no wonder then that her interest in fashion began at a very young age.

She claims that her love of vintage derives from her mother’s clothing stall in Brixton during the 80’s,

Blogspot

Julia Sarr-Jamois as illustrated by Nathalie Hammond

and confesses that her most loved denim pieces are from the back of her mum’s wardrobe.

Recently Sarr-Jamois has been flaunting her unique style in a

collaboration with Topshop. She was asked to pick a selection of Spring/Summer 2012 pieces for the stores ‘Edited’ collection, showing off her love for combining unexpected textures and colours to produce beautiful clashes. Past guests of Topshop ‘Edited’ include Fashion East’s Lulu Kennedy, blogger Susie Bubble and Dazed and Confused’s Katie Shillingford. Sarr-Jamois’ collection can be found on the Topshop website – if you love bold patterns and chunky heels it’s well worth a look!

After being named on Vogue’s best dressed list last year, Alberta Ferretti decided to include Sarr-Jamois, along with Solange Knowles and Oroma Elewa, in her Pre-Fall 2012 catwalk. The fashion editor can also be seen fronting Tibi’s Spring 2012 collection advertising campaign. We’ve established that she is pretty much everywhere at the moment, yet we should expect to see a lot more from Julia Sarr-Jamois.

Shirts for him katherine watkins

hannah merican james quinn

kayture.com kayture.com is the brainchild of 18 -year-old Kristina Bazan who hails from Geneva, Switzerland. Her blog is a great read for anyone who thinks fashion and travelling go hand in hand.

Be inspired by her clever use of colourful blocking which she styles with different textures such as fur and silk as well as complimenting her outfits with statement shoes and designer handbags.

Alongside documenting her daily outfits she also has makeup tutorials on her blog for anyone who is after her flawless complexion.

Searching for shirts in 2012 will bring mixed results. The variety of trending patterns, prints, and styles are borderline overwhelming. High-street brands like Topman, River Island, Zara, and H&M all offer different, unique styles for each and every taste.

Prominent designs include Aztec and Navajo patterned shirts, commonly championed in the Topman and River Island stores.

This complex pattern is a bold look, but can be balanced with a darker colour jacket or knit.

In similarly bold territory, paisley, polka dot, and image print shirts all have taken a decisive role in 2012’s initial trends.

For those of you who fancy a more refined look, opting for the Oxford shirt or striped shirt will be a more comfortable, accessible look. The horizontal striped shirt is a confident, smart look that pairs well with a simple pair of jeans or trousers. The Oxford shirt offers a much more subtle, classy look, with a range of pale colours that can comprise a smart, clean look.

Finally, the range of materials is something worth considering for comfort and practicality’s sake.

Cord, denim, cotton, offer as much to consider as the aforementioned patterns and styles.

Keeping an open mind will ensure a fashionable look from subtle to bold in the coming spring.

Follow the trends this season with these versatile essential, shirts and blouses. Grab a classy sheer sleeved design or little printed number to add to your new Spring wardrobe.

Sheer materials have been an on-going trend since 2010, with full-on sheer dresses and shirts hitting the catwalks. Now designers, like Valentino, are using a different approach by creating garments with sheer sleeves. This simple alteration to the traditional shirt bares a touch of skin, whilst staying stylish, sophisticated, and most importantly, warm!

Scarf-printed shirts are a newer entry to fashion, teaming the gilded, floral and paisley prints

normally found on scarves, with the classic cut of a silk blouse Stick to the solid colours and accessorise with plain trousers or a skirt, or mix it up with some patterns for an edgier look.

Celebrities loving these trends include the likes of the Duchess of Cambridge, Florence from Florence and the Machine, and Julia Restoin-Roitfeld. As well as style goddess Alexa Chung who has recently been spotted in a sheer-sleeved Marc Jacobs’ blouse teamed with a navy Proenza Schouler dress, looking amazing (as always!)

Either can be found at an affordable price on the high street in shops like Topshop, H&M and Zara.

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‘It’s temperatures like this that make me ‘I need to stop dressing like a Downtown wish that morally I could find it in myself Abbey maid.’ to wear Uggs.’

- @samranger

- @LoueyVaTon

Spark* Friday 3 February 2012

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Versace for H&M

kate douglas

When Donatella Versace launched her eagerly anticipated Cruise Collection SS12 for H&M, nobody predicted the world wide madness the line would cause. The demand was so high that stores had security guards in place, ready to react to any fashion fiends and many were left disappointed when the website crashed from the sheer volume of visits. Pieces from the already sold out collection are making their way to Ebay right now and selling for prices reaching over four times their original value.

The pieces at the top of everyone’s list were, of course, the leather jacket and dresses, all selling out within hours of the launch. It is clear that these are the items to get your hands on this spring.

Of course, when the collection was revealed, we could see it was filled with signature Versace. The

pieces, including beachwear and lingerie as well as the obvious dresses and shoes, presented us with light pastel colours and fruity patterns, encouraging us to go bold and beautiful; perfect for the spring/summer months. The lavish gold accessories including earrings, bracelets and belts have Versace written all over them and are clearly statement pieces.

Similarly, the menswear range included tailored shorts and laid-back t-shirts patterned with the brand’s famous Greek key motif which appears frequently in Versace’s designs. For me, the fruity hot pants and flirty bikinis are ideal for the summer months; they remind me of the summer and fingers crossed that one day, I will eventually get my hands on them, although, at this rate, I cannot imagine that will be any time soon!

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FASHION 23

Shoes: Chunky heels

Jeffrey Campbell ‘Lita’ boot as illustrated by Nathalie Hammond stephanie weekes

Lately, some of you may have noticed that the familiar click-clack of stilettos has been replaced by a loud clomping sound. We can attribute this to the rise of the chunky-heeled shoe - a subject which has divided the female population. They have enjoyed immense popularity among international fashionistas over the past year, since the Jeffrey Campbell ‘Lita’ boot took the blogging world by storm. Now you literally cannot go anywhere - especially in London - without

seeing someone tottering around in them!

Some argue that the block-heel style lacks the femininity, elegance and sexiness of the conventional heel, even going as far as to label them a man-repellent. However, the block heel offers more stability, comfort and dance-ability, which is important, because honestly there is nothing flattering about losing your balance on stickthin heels!

Chunky heels are inarguably a bold statement, and certainly not for the faint-hearted. While they may terrify some, I definitely

can’t get enough of them! It’s such a strong look, which will no doubt come in handy for balancing out the girly pastels, and complimenting the bold shapes and patterns of the impending spring season.

While some chunky heels may not be flattering for everyone, there are a wide variety of styles available offering plenty of choice. When a shoe can offer plenty of height for that essential confidence - without the feeling of teetering unsteadily between banging your head on the ceiling, and colliding with the floor, how can you really go wrong?

Colour your life: Four of the best coloured jeans Hannah merican

Elle turner

This season will see the return of the hippy, boho trend with websites such as DollyBowBow.co.uk sporting peace signs, hamsa hands and dream catchers as well as vintage inspired collar necklaces and cheeky moustache rings at student friendly prices.

Aztec and tribal themed jewellery will continue to be popular all the way through to summer as the Egyptian triangle design and Navajo print make an appearance in our favourite high street shops as well as quirky websites.

RegalRose.com is a favourite for celebrities and fashionista’s alike with famous fans such as Jessie J, Kelly Rowland and Mischa Barton raving about the edgy designs and statement pieces. The downside is

that their pieces are pretty pricey and less suitable on a student budget.

Similarly fashionology.nl (based in the Netherlands) feature alternative designs including religious inspired jewellery as well as naturalistic, animal themed pieces such as claws, feathers and skulls which at around £20 each are a bit of an investment but are worth it for something a bit different.

Of course Topshop never fails to deliver, combining all the season’s trends, as their extensive jewellery collection features kitsch, boho inspired necklaces as well as chunky Aztec rings and gothic carcass designs at more affordable prices.

Jewellery pictures taken from a selection at dollybowbow.co.uk and regalrose.co.uk

Around £45 Oasis

Around £32 ASOS

Around £38 Topshop

Around £38 Topshop

24 BEAUTY

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

beauty.spark@reading.ac.uk

BEAUTY Meet the professionals EMMA WARD

Having gained inspiration from YouTube make-up artists and in particular from photographer David Lachapelle, Sarah Craddock, a twenty-year-old freelance makeup artist from the West Midlands talks about her journey into the make-up artist industry.

With a clear passion for make-up since childhood, Sarah decided to take her interest in cosmetics further and joined a local college to begin a course, reveling in the variety of each project and the ability to bring a character to life through make-up. She admits, however, that what she really enjoys is testing out make-up on herself and friends, “I get to re-create whatever I want and I like to go to extremes, as working for myself I am able to set my own criteria.”

So how can others get in the game and turn their love for make-up into a profitable business? Sarah explains that in this industry, it is all about making a name for your-

self, by publishing work on social network sites such as Facebook and Model Mayhem, the UK number one portfolio site for professional models and photographers.

She admits that it is not always easy, and there is a lot of competition. However, going to events to network and meeting other people with similar interests definitely helps, even if it can sometimes seem like a long process.

What about beauty must-haves in the industry? Sarah says that for her, the ultimate beauty product is a good moisturiser, which she says, can completely transform the skin and create a flawless base to build on. She also admits that lip colour is her favourite area of expertise, describing that the perfect bold lip is fun and on-trend, even though many people are unsure about sporting a colourful pout. Mascara is also a must have beauty item, for its ability to open the eyes and bring life into the face.

In terms of advice, Sarah confesses that the best piece of advice

she has ever been given is to blend well. Blending, she says, can make all the difference and is one of the most noticeable mistakes people make. “Blend foundation into the neck to get away with a darker foundation, blend eye shadow to create a more smoky effect, blend blush/bronzer for a healthier glow, blending can make everything look more natural and soft.”

Blending can make all the difference When asked for what to look out for in Spring/Summer 2012 trends, Sarah is keeping her eye out for bold colours and metallics.

Despite being only at the beginning of her career, Sarah admits she is learning fast, both at college and in her spare time. Creating, playing with and testing out different looks are all essential for improve-

Zooey Deschanel at the Golden Globes KAtherine WATKINS

When Zooey Deschanel, the adorable New Girl actress, tweeted “I am wearing a gown but my nails are wearing tuxedos!!!” we thought “how”? But after seeing the cute nail polish tuxedos she showed off at the Golden Globes in January I’m not sure why we ever questioned her.

To copy her quirky design create a white base coat and then add the black detail with a cocktail stick or small paintbrush; it couldn’t be simpler.

For those daring few, who want something a little more edgy or personal, why not take a leaf out of

Katy Perry’s book? Her previous designs are no less than fabulously crazy, featuring the faces of the Smurfs, the royal family and even the orange faced oompa loompas; not for the faint-hearted.

I am wearing a gown but my nails are wearing tuxedos!!!

Companies such as Barry M now offer a range of bright and beautiful coloured nail varnishes so why not mix and match or try a few simple patterns. With Valentines Day quickly approaching why not get in the mood by trying out a heart pattern on your nails?

Or you could get the boyfriend to treat you to a manicure...

However, miniature outfits or faces on each nail may be a little too far for the more reserved amongst us, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try something just a little different.

Love is in the air ROSI HIRST

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, now is the time to start dropping hints to your special someone. And is there any gift more romantic or more timeless than perfume? Here is a selection of some of the best to get your inspiration flowing.

Intimately Beckham (around £15 for 30ml) If you can get your head around the celebrity endorsement, this is actually a very nice fragrance. It is light and feminine

and makes for a pleasant everyday scent which won’t break the bank.

Paul Smith Rose (around £30 for 30ml) A modern take on the classic rose scent, this is wonderfully summery without becoming overly-sweet or cloying. A perfect pick-me-up for grey winter days!

DKNY Be Delicious (around £30 for 30ml) Available in a variety of different fragrances, this applescented perfume collection is fresh, fruity and fun. The sweet, tangy Green Delicious and crisp, strong Red Delicious are particu-

ment. In ten years’ time, Sarah hopes to have progressed in her career and work more regularly for film and TV, mainly because of the diversity of make-up ideas that can be used on the big screen. For Sarah, make-up is “more than the ability to make people look pretty,” it is a whole way of life.

Check her out at: http://www.modelmayhem.com/2129435 or www.facebook.com/scraddockmakeup

lar favourites.

Gucci Rush (around £40 for 30ml) For those of you whose boyfriends are feeling particularly generous.

A very distinctive, sexy fragrance and makes a great compliment to the perfect outfit.

L’Eau d’Issey (around £30 for 25ml) This beautiful scent is fresh and clean, and while slightly heavier than other fragrances, it isn’t in danger of being too musky. Better suited to evening rather than day use, and the scent lasts forever!

Daphne Guinness’ range for MAC PETRINA DE GOUTTES

Guinness heiress and international fashion icon, Daphne Guinness, has collaborated with top beauty brand MAC on a range of nail polishes, lipsticks, blushers and more.

Reflecting winter gloom, the collection is composed of a palette of deep shades of purple and varieties of pink alongside complimentary neutral tones. Known for her warped sense of fashion, Guinness’ beauty collection is surprisingly universal. The dark and moody colours which make up the eye shadow set will compliment any skin tone, especially when blended together to create a great smoky eye look.

Available for a limited amount of time, the collection can be found online (http://www.maccosmetics. co.uk/) and in most MAC stores.

New Year, New Foundation!

KATE ALLEN

With the 2012 beauty calendar being dominated by a plethora of foundation launches, Spark* Beauty have rounded up the best new products available, as well as hunting for future trends...

1) Rimmel Wake Me Up Foundation Faking your way to a wide-awake look has never been easier thanks to Rimmel London’s new lumenising liquid foundation. Combining radiance pearls with SPF 15, a quick application of this brightening formula gives fatigued complexions an instant boost whilst reviving and protecting the skin.

Available now for around £8.99.

2) Maybelline Dream Nude Airfoam Maybelline’s foam foundation is leading the way for innovative makeup textures and has reached a new high for weightless coverage. This frothy approach to foundation is more than a passing novelty as Revlon are set to follow trend with their own Photo Ready

Airbrush Mousse Foundation later this year. Available now for around £8.99.

3) Benefit Hello Flawless Oxygen Wow Since discontinuing their NonFiction foundation, Benefit have been sorely lacking a liquid option, but that’s set to change in March with the launch of their Hello Flawless Oxygen Wow Foundation.

Due to its having the hydrating feel of a tinted moisturiser but the buildable coverage of a traditional foundation it looks like Benefit’s best base product yet.

4) L’Orèal Nude Magique BB Cream One of the most popular cosmetic advancements of last year was the introduction of BB creams to the European market. Following in Garnier and No7’s footsteps, L’Orèal are the next brand to jump on the BB wagon in March with their own makeup-skincare hybrid which contains colour adapting pigment capsules to ensure a perfect skin tone match.

Spark* Friday 3 February 2012

marketing@rusu.co.uk

ADVERTISEMENT 25

26 HEALTH&FOOD

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

health.spark@reading.ac.uk

HEALTH

Your health abroad- or how not to do it!

Louise Rains

One minute you’re bombing down your 100th red run of the holiday, turning smoother curves than a Dyson and humming the song from SSX Tricky. Then one un-spectacular but awkward backwards fall and your dreams, your holiday, and your wrist, are shattered. As a snowboarder, you know it happens, but when you hear that sickening crunch signalling ‘game over’ you realise how unprepared you are.

I had to put all my faith in a shoddy insurance company With no money or documents that might help activate my travel insurance, I spent a lot of time over the next two days feeling nervous – not just because I had an operation and two pins put in my arm in a hospital where I couldn’t speak to my doctor, but because I was racking up thousands of pounds in fees with no idea how I was going

to pay or get home. I had to put all my faith in a shoddy (but competitively priced) insurance company, with nothing to do but watch the battery of my friend’s Blackberry slowly die whilst praying my mum could magic up the necessary documents and convince the insurance folks to solve my problems.

My self-image as an independent, adventurous 21-year-old was ruined. So here’s my advice based on my experience:

Three things to do before you go: 1. Buy travel insurance and, if going to Europe, check your European Health Insurance Card is in date as it covers 80% of medical fees.

2. Email copies of holiday booking details, travel information, insurance documents, passport, EHIC, everything; to someone you trust back home.

3. Tell your bank you’re going abroad

My self image as independent was ruined

What to carry: 1. Travel insurance and EHIC.

2. Passport.

3. Bank card with plenty of spare money – some things have to be paid for straight away and claimed back on insurance later.

4. Fully charged and functioning mobile phone.

At least I’ll always have the anecdote to tell!

If you have time, five things to pack in a hospital bag: 1. Toothbrush and toothpaste – it doesn’t take a lot to make you feel a lot more human.

2. As many pairs of underwear as you can carry.

3. Phone charger.

4. Pen and paper, to write down everything the doctor tells you.

5. A book – you’ll have a lot of time to kill.

(6. A bonus 6th if you’re a girl – Tampons. Not everyone has the charades skills necessary to

successfully mime ‘I’m on my period’ to a French nurse.)

And finally...

1. If the treatment you need is classed as emergency, they should act first and work out payment after. Don’t let them make you think otherwise.

2. Ask questions. Don’t just fall on the first doctor you see, only to find he’s private practice and only deals with cash after you’ve

Feeling SAD this winter?

although your doctor should be able to offer you some help with general feelings of depression immediately.

Sarah Lienard

It’s estimated that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) affects around 17% of the UK population between September and April each year in some form, with 7% suffering acutely from the disorder. SAD is more than just the winter blues – it’s caused by an imbalance in the hypothalamus, resulting from of a lack of sunlight during the winter.

Although it can begin at any age, the disorder most commonly starts between the ages of 18-30, so it’s especially important that students are aware of the symptoms.

SAD is more than just winter blues Things to look out for include feelings of depression and isolation, a loss of interest in social-

Unfortnately SAD often goes undetected

izing and a loss of libido. SAD can also affect eating patterns such as overeating or loss of appetite, cause stomach or joint pain, as well as feeling lethargic. Waking up frequently throughout the night, feeling anxious and having

difficulty concentrating are also frequently reported. If these sound familiar, and they occur during the winter months, you should consult your doctor. In general, a diagnosis can be made after two consecutive winters of symptoms,

So if you are diagnosed with SAD, what treatments are available?

In 85% of cases, light therapy is effective. This involves exposure for 1-4 hours a day to a very bright light, emitted through a specially designed lighting box. The user can carry out normal activity such as reading, working or eating while sitting stationary, allowing the light to shine on their eyes.

Unfortunately this treatment is not available through the NHS, and 15-20% of people do not receive adequate relief from it. Alternatively, certain types of non-seda-

racked up a £140 x-ray bill.

3. You can get the EHIC Company to fax you a replacement card, but try not to get into that situation if you can help it.

It wasn’t all bad – my 66-year-old roommate gave me her address so I’ll always have a place to stay if I ever pop to Paris, and the food was better than any meal I’ve ever had in an English hospital (there’s a sickly child in every family and I’m it in mine). And I’ll always have the anecdote to tell!

tive anti-depressant drugs may be prescribed by a doctor. They work by boosting serotonin levels in the brain, resulting in greater feelings of happiness.

There are also a number of things that you can try yourself to ease symptoms. As little as a half hour walk can help to release endorphins, the feel-good hormone, as well as making the most of any winter sunshine. The NHS states that staying warm can also help reduce symptoms by a half, so turn on the heating, wear jumpers and drink plenty of hot liquids.

Many people also report that keeping yourself busy and making an effort to socialize are also highly beneficial.

Unfortunately, SAD often goes undetected, but if you think you have symptoms it’s worth having a chat with your doctor to see which treatment could be right for you.

You’ll be feeling better in no time!

Spark* Friday 3 February 2012

health.spark@reading.ac.uk

HEALTH&FOOD 27

Food The Click List: the blog edition why not try mixing garlicky mushrooms with crème fraiche and spinach for a filling idea. http://www.lizzieeatslondon.blogspot.com

The Skint Foodie Kitchen

Hannah Ford

I’ve always been one to take a picture on my phone of that special cupcake or meal (because there is nothing strange about that), yet I have never felt the need to blog about how wonderful my hot chocolate with a cocoa-powdered heart on top was. Therefore I find it quite heart warming as to how dedicated and passionate these food bloggers are. There are numerous food blogs to be found and I hope I can point you in the right direction of the best ones to check out.

Once you start the search for a good food blog you often find links to other blogs and it’s frankly endless. You’re soon diverted to reading debates over why people’s savoury macaroons haven’t quite

worked: it is stressful stuff. It seems food bloggers are everywhere as, after all, food is something we all have in common.

Hollow Legs Hollow Legs is a very detailed blog that has in the past been criticised for being a bit too lengthy, but never-the-less it is a blog close to my heart. Lizzie’s recipes reflect her love for travel so there is always something new to learn in terms of worldwide cuisine with influences coming from France, Spain, Asia, America and even Ethiopia.

She is definitely an inventive cook providing both savoury and sweet treat ideas. Her blog reflects the passion she has for fine dining with numerous pictures of beautifully created and visually

stunning meals which are always worth a flick through. Even when she is on holiday she still finds the time to post up pictures of what the local cuisine has to offer; I’ve always found this makes for a fascinating read. Don’t be intimidated by some of the recipes which are very complicated to follow - I can’t see myself rushing into the kitchen to make lobster and crab ravioli. However, there are some dead simple recipes to follow too.

Her latest post focused on posh toasted sandwiches, so if you’re a bit sick of your cheese toasties

Foodie Dates

Try it tonight: Spanish omelette

Hannah Ford

National Marmalade Week

National Marmalade Week runs from 25 February to 3 March with the patron of this scrumptious spread being no other than the bear from deepest dark Peru.

If you see yourself as a marvellous marmalade maker then get your jam pans on and simmer those oranges for your chance to get your marmalade served to the Queen, “huzzah”! I’m pretty sure your preserves will be the best gift the Queen receives for her diamond Jubilee. If you still want to embrace this week but don’t see yourself sieving pips and sterilising jam jars then just head to Campus Central and buy readymade marmalade, simple.

Valentine’s Day - 14 February

Love it or hate it, it’s commercialisation at its best. If you’re taking on the challenge of cooking a romantic meal, head to the BBC Good Food website for some rather fancy recipes - treacle tart heart anyone? Let’s face it,

The Skint Foodie Kitchen is a fantastic blog pointing out the underlying fact that good food is all about taste, yet as students you are stuck with ingredients from the basic range. This blog passes on a wealth of knowledge about how to save the pennies and still cook up a storm in the kitchen and get those taste buds dancing.

The blogger posts about certain cuts of meat that won’t cost the earth although avoid his advice on buying the bulk smart price sausages from Asda, my past experiences will tell you that it’s an eating experience you will wish to forget. It’s also worth

Sarah Lienard

Ingredients: One large potato or two medium ones 4-6 eggs One onion One tablespoon olive oil Salt and pepper

Method: Peel and chop the potatoes into a microwave meal just won’t fit the bill on this special occasion, so push the boat out and try James Martin’s fail-safe steak with chilli butter and homemade chunky chips; this should be enough to put a smile on anyone’s face, unless you are a veggie that is. So for all those vegetarians out there try making the butternut squash risotto which has been rated highly on the website for its flavour and

pointing out that if you are one of those people that smugly avoids buying fresh fruit and vegetables because they are so expensive, you should know that this is a lie - it is more economical to buy a bag of potatoes and make your own chips, wedges or mash than it is to buy readymade options. Just stop being a lazy bum and get mashing.

The same goes for many meals which this blog frequently highlights. Note well that a sprinkle of mixed herbs will jazz up any grim student meal.

Although the pictures posted up of certain dishes have been deemed not to have the ‘wow’ factor I rather like that about this blog as it somehow makes you feel that for once the food you’ve just served up looks just like/as bad as the one online. I recommend you read this blog because you will be juicing your left over fruit into a compote in no time. http://www.theskintfoodie.com

easiness.

It’s always good to cook instead of going out for a meal as it’s often overpriced and overcrowded. So what are you waiting for? Get those rose-tinted glasses on, scoff some heart shaped chocolates, don’t forget to turn the lights down low because we all know this makes everything look better, and above all, make sure you toast each other with a drink or two!

slices and boil in salted water for a few minutes until just tender, being careful not to overcook them. Finely chop the onions and fry them in a large pan in one tablespoon of olive oil until soft and translucent. Drain the excess oil from the pan, then tip in the potatoes. Beat up the eggs and add season well with salt and pepper.

Pour the egg over the potatoes and onions and cook on a low heat until the egg starts to set. Pop the omelette under the grill for a few minutes to brown the top, then serve.

28 GAMING

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

gaming.spark@reading.ac.uk

GAMING

Batman: Arkham City The Dark Knight returns

John Winchester

Rocksteady, in my mind, are becoming one of the top developers to watch, and have single handedly reinvigorated a character who has been stagnant and often forced to appear in terrible tie in’s that are unfaithful to the original material.

This is because, up until Batman: Arkham Asylum swooped in, nearly every single video game starring the caped crusader was utterly awful. What made Rocksteady’s game sublime was that the developers exploited the core of Bob Kane’s finest creation; the different facets of Batman’s character informed the gameplay mechanics, which moved seamlessly from puzzle-solving, to agile platforming to brutal combat. All of it was packaged together with a fantastic story and presented with delightfully Gothic trimmings.

Batman: Arkham Asylum was clearly the work of Batman fans who knew the terrain, and whose love for the character was evident.

It’s worth bearing all this in mind, because Batman: Arkham City, Rocksteady’s follow-up has a higher standard to live up to.

Given how perfectly formed the mechanics in Arkham Asylum were on its release – and remain to this day – Rocksteady could have easily got away with setting its game in a new environment, adding a new story and a few new characters – and then leaving everything else untouched. It’s a testament to the studio’s creativity, then, that instead it used the gameplay and structure of Arkham Asylum as a starting point and then built on these foundations.

Arkham City’s story begins several months after the events that took place in Arkham Asylum.

Arkham City is run by an enigmatic figure called Hugo Strange who is brutal in his treatment of any criminals who try to escape, but seems wholly unconcerned with what goes on inside the prison walls. This has led to a vicious turf war for control of its the streets, with most of the prisoners joining gangs that are run by Batman’s most devious foes.

The design of Arkham City is nothing short of wonderful. The huge, sprawling super-prison of Gotham looks like something out of a dystopian nightmare. Gothic spires point accusingly at the night

sky, gargoyles leer down on the alleys below and the city’s landmarks and streets look dilapidated and broken. The City itself is nowhere near as big as most other open world games, however the character and sense of being alive it generates more than makes up for this fact.

Players who picked up a copy of Arkham Asylum will find a lot of elements in Arkham City familiar.

The main activities will involve fistfights, following clue trails, solving puzzles, collecting trinkets and using Batman’s agility to navigate the huge environment in the game. Detective Vision, which allows players to note the position of bad guys through walls, as well as switches, vents and trophy positions, makes a welcome return (although it is still a tool that can be too easily relied on). Players also have access to the Dark Knight’s collection of amazing gadgets to aid them in their adventure – most of which are unlocked at the beginning of the game, setting Arkham City head-and-shoulders above every other superhero game sequel in existence right from the start.

There are also some new additions to Batman’s repertoire of moves.

First of all, there have been a couple of tweaks made to the way in which Batman navigates his environment, which is handy given the size of it. Players can still use a grappling hook to zip up to rooftops and ledges and Batman’s cape still allows them to glide gracefully over big distances. However,

Welcome to the madhouse

by pulling the right trigger in mid-glide and then pulling back on the right stick, players can extend Batman’s gliding time, giving him the ability to stay airborne for longer. Also, once it’s unlocked, players can use a grappling hook boost to allow Batman to overshoot the ledge he’s rappelled onto, shooting him skyward.

Alongside the boost, Batman has a host of new gadgets, including (among others) remote-controlled Batarangs, smoke pellets (to obscure his position during fights) and an item called the Remote Electrical Charge (REC). This last item allows Batman to activate generators in his environment, with which he can open doors or activate industrial magnets to strip foes of their weapons. Batman’s combat has also received a polish; battering multiple opponents is a lot more fluid and fun than before, and finishing moves and takedowns look a lot more brutal.

Of course, half of Batman’s appeal is his rogue’s gallery, and Rocksteady have tapped up quite a few of the caped crusader’s villains to populate their game’s plot.

Two-Face and The Penguin are a couple of the antagonists who turn up in Arkham City, rubbing shoulders with The Joker and Harley Quinn, who make a return from Arkham Asylum. As the main story progresses, more of Batman’s best-known nemeses begin to appear, although to reveal who they are and how they fit into the

plot would be doing anyone reading this review a disservice. The game’s story is one of its strongest assets, and the less players know going in, the more they will enjoy it.

Alongside the rather lengthy main campaign, Arkham City is teeming with side missions, which players can dip in and out of at their leisure. It’s also worth noting that once the main story’s over, players are free to explore the city further, clearing up any side-missions they haven’t finished yet. Once again, offering details about most of these side-missions will ruin the experience somewhat, as they involve their own little subplots and protagonists.

One villain that it is safe to reveal is the Riddler. It seems Edward Nigma took annoyance at the fact he was outsmarted by Batman in Arkham Asylum and so has gone to great lengths to defeat him here. To that end he’s placed tons of trophies and riddles throughout Arkham City, marking them up with his question mark calling cards all over the city’s skyline. If Batman collects enough of them, missions open up on the map, and Batman will have to head to these locations to save hostages that the Riddler has taken captive.

Collecting a lot of these trophies doesn’t just involve snaring them with the Bat Claw or pulling down sections of walls, as was the case in Arkham Asylum. A lot of them are protected by puzzles, which range from laughably easy to

fiendishly cunning. Make no mistake, the Riddler sub-quest is far more challenging this time round, and as a result, infinitely more satisfying to play through. Once the main game’s content has been completed, players can head into the game’s challenge rooms – an expanded take on the same mode which featured in Arkham Asylum.

Catwoman is also thrown into the mix as a playable character, provided the player unlocks her content. Batman’s erstwhile feline love-interest has a series of quests to accomplish which run in tandem to the game’s main campaign and she too, has a series of Riddler trophies to collect. She handles differently to Batman in combat; her attacks pack a little less punch, but her movement feels lighter and more fluid. Catwoman doesn’t have Batman’s array of gadgets, but she does carry a whip, a set of bolos and caltrops to hamper her attackers. She also has “Thief-Vision”, her version of Detective Vision, which allows her to see hidden heat signatures.

She’s able to navigate the rooftops and spires of Gotham just as easily as Batman and is also available for the challenge rooms outside the main game.

All in All Arkham City is a truly incredible game, and Rocksteady have again proven themselves as one of the great developers of our time. I hope that the Dark Knights journey continues for years to come, as it most certainly deserves to.

Spark* Friday 3 February 2012

gaming.spark@reading.ac.uk

GAMING 29

Zoo Resort 3D

Welcome to the jungle... wait I meant zoo Kerrie Black

Move over Nintendogs an even cuter and doubly as fun 3DS game is in town! Despite the fact that Zoo Resort 3D is obviously aimed at a younger gaming audience, I cannot express how much I love this game, and that it is a brilliant addition to the ever astounding Nintendo 3DS franchise.

The 3D graphics in the game are incredible and really add to the atmosphere After looking at the box art you’d be forgiven for thinking that Zoo Resort 3D was a cutesy zoo management sim, akin to the poor fairing Zoo Tycoon for the DS (it is no match for the PC version); in fact, you’ll find it’s the complete opposite. What is most striking is the breathtakingly realistic aesthetic and set of mechanics of the zoo animals that sets it apart from other simulation titles. Add to that the fact that it is on the 3DS which has 3D capabilities that out pass that of a cinema and you have made a game that provides a truly unique experience.

so you come to appreciate some of the most unknown animals just as much (if not more) than the well known stereotypical zoo animals.

With each new unlock also comes a full dateabase of information on each animal which can keep you entertained for hours reading all the facts on offer.

Starting off with a single forlorn elephant and some empty enclosures, you’re guided through a comprehensive tutorial on caring for, bonding with and purchasing animals, as well as expanding and promoting the zoo.

Undoubtedly the best part of the game is the animal bonding process All actions, as you would expect from a game aimed at children, are simple and clear. However, this simplicity does strip away any of its real charm. No visitors can be seen scurrying about, micro-management is non-existent and you’re limited in the layout of your zoo to only the placement of animals in pre-built enclosures.

But because of this you are forced

to interact with the zoo, to actually become the manager, unlike in other games where you float around as an omnipresent Sim-God.

The animals all look great and have plenty of character Undoubtedly the best part of the game is the animal bonding process. Here is where you’ll spend the majority of your time, gradually getting to know your animals, gaining their trust and learning how to make them popular. There aren’t many actions to do with your Zoo animals, feeding and taking photos of them being the only options. However if you are like me this isn’t a problem as you will be content enough to sit and watch these uncannily realistic animals preforming everyday actions.

With either the 3DS gyroscopic controls or through the Circle Pad you can pan, tilt and zoom your camera to get close to them and see the aniamls in all their 3D glory.

Admittedly this can get a bit repetitive, the main aim of the game

Looking after the zoo is truly compelling and satisfying So what’s it about I hear you cry?

As the grandchild of a recently deceased zoo keeper you inherit a small zoo and are encouraged to restore it back to its former glory, introducing more animals and promoting the zoo online through a blog. You must unlock different breeds of animals, from simple birds, to large land-and-sea predators to prehistoric beasts. It’s a very simple narrative that serves merely as the initial driving force.

I completed the main story in about five hours and that was taking my time with it. However the meat of the game is through your management of the zoo, making whichever choices you see fit to improve it and bonding with your animals.

I love the fact that you unlock different species of animals completely at random spending your Animal Points (AP) on little dispensers. This means that you have to play with the lesser animals like goats or horses just as much as the big animals such as the tigers and white lions. In doing

In 3D you can almost feel his claws ripping your face off

being to bond with the 100+ species of animals in order to reach maximum popularity, but what helps with the repetition, however, are the fantastic visuals. The realistic aesthetic incorporates detailed textures and animation that combine to do an excellent job of recreating each beast. You’ll genuinely feel compelled to see every animal, and with higher level bonds resulting in special actions of each animal performing a movement that defines them, you’re likely to lose hours upon hours to this game.

Random goals give new challenges Despite the repetition, the game will sometimes throw up random challenges such as ‘displayed animals will become sick today’, which means that you won’t be able to display those animals for a few in-game days, or ‘elephants at another zoo have become more popular’, in which case you must try to raise the popularity of your own elephants etc. There are also challenges to place certain types

of animals all together etc which provide milestones to aim for as you progress through the game.

It is a simple game that offers pleny of fun for young and old gamers alike In conclusion, Zoo Resort 3D is not as scoffable or childish as it might at first appear. The 3D graphics are amazing and on this alone it deserves a place as one of the best casual 3DS games currently on the market, well above other such shovelware that is quickly pushed out to try and make a bit of fast money. Although the gameplay is simplistic and it is unlikely to be one of those games that is played for hours and hours, it is a sweet and uncomplicated little game that you can play for a spare five or ten minutes whilst on the train, and if that is all you expect from it then you won’t be disappointed.

8/10

30 SCIENCE&TECHNOLOGY scitech.spark@reading.ac.uk

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

SCIENCE&TECHNOLOGY

In other news

Microsoft is rumored to be working on Kinect-enabled laptops. The design revolves around a built-in camera an a set of sensors responsible for registering movements just like the stand-alone Kinect device. The future wil show what the secret Microsoft labs have in store for us.

Laptop review: Lenovo Y570 SHENOL CHAKAR

As soon as consumer electronics companies realised the wonderful money-making potential of portable computers in an increasingly mobile and mediadriven age, their ambitious roadmaps would set the stage for what we would easily call the golden era for notebooks.

The world of laptops is over-saturated because every company wants a piece of the pie Now, a few years later, the world of laptops is so saturated because basically every major company wants a piece of the pie. This is good for us, of course, as the companies will compete not only on price, but various other attractive factors such as design, quality and so on. In sort, there’s a laptop to pick for virtually every taste and budget.

The Y570 is a blend of appealing exterior, portability and performance The biggest dilemma for netbook users has always been the one between mobility and computing power. I had always been a fan of big & powerful - which is the

reason I’ve got a premium 17inch HP Pavilion – until I went to university back in 2009. I used to value performance over mobility. Not anymore. Yes, student life does that to people. But what about performance and portability in a single package? Does good performance have to always come at the cost of heavy weight and hefty price? Well, maybe not.

Enter the new Lenovo IdeaPad Y570. Now, Lenovo isn’t generally associated with consumer laptop models but this time they have taken a shot into uncharted territory and seems like they have done a good job.

The IdeaPad Y570 boasts a dedicated Nvidia GeForce GT 555M The Y570 can be considered a beautiful blend of appealing exterior, sufficient portability and good performance. It is available in several configurations, but for a price of under £600 you can get a true all-rounder.

The second-generation Core i5 processor is a good choice on Lenovo’s part. I personally wouldn’t get discouraged by the comparatively low processor clock speed because of the presence of Intel Turbo Boost, which dynamically overclocks the processor as long as the components’ temperature remains in the admissible thermal bracket.

The 22 nanometer manufacturing technology ensures a good performance-per-watt ratio. The Intel chip also has an integrated graphics unit which, alas, is deactivated in our case as the IdeaPad Y570 boasts a dedicated Nvidia GeForce GT 555M with 1Gb of VRAM and full DirectX 11 support. This basically means you will be able to enjoy the latest games at medium (and occasionally high) settings with zero stuttering or freezes. It runs Crysis 2 at 35 fps and FIFA 11 at 100 fps (average frame rate).

The amount of RAM varies according to the configuration, but I’d say 4 Gb of RAM is more than enough for most modern games.

The hard drive is Western Digital and is either 500 GB or 750 GB. Two powerful JBL speakers are responsible for delivering astonishing sound quality and the 1MP camera ensures you’d be able to have nice high-quality Skype conversations over the Internet.

If you want to play Avatar at full HD, you’re out of luck The build quality is good and the surface feels sufficiently cool to the touch even when playing graphics-intensive games. I should probably mention something about shortcomings as well.

The main downside of this model is its mediocre resolution screen (1366x768), so if you want to play Avatar at Full HD, you’re out of

luck (or in luck, depending on whether you like repetitive plots).

If a mediocre screen is a dealbreaker for you, then I’d recommend waiting for the IdeaPad Y580, the Y570’s successor. It’s going to have a full HD screen, even faster graphics and more storage.

Lenovo have taken a shot in uncharted territor and seem to have done a good job But the Y570 is a great laptop. It’s not the thinnest or lightest in its class, but it packs all the muscle and functionality the entry-level gamer will ever need. What about other laptops in the same price range? The Y570 scores 1163 on the 3DMark 11, which is a good score considering it’s just above that achieved by Acer Aspire Ethos 5951. The Lenovo Y570: a magnificent all-rounder, highly recommended.

Scientists have developed the bullet of the future. It’s deadly, silent and self-guided.

It’s 10cm long and is able to track its target and dynamically change its trajectory even after being fired. The bullet’s enhanced precision will hopefully ensure that the bad guys get caught easier.

AMD has finally released Radeon 7950. Boasting a brand-new graphics core, good framerates accessible to the mass gamer, and a more efficient manufacturing technology, this little piece of hardware will be loved by gamers and enthusiasts alike. I’ll finally be able to play Deus Ex: Human Revolution or Grand Theft Auto V without burning a hole in my lap or melting my graphics adapter.

Spark*

SCIENCE&TECHNOLOGY

Friday 3 February 2011

scitech.spark@reading.ac.uk

31

Science for everyone Michael Simpson

Gone are the days where individuals such as Einstein, Mendeleev and Darwin were making incredible discoveries on their own, often at home. Modern scientific advances are more often made in university laboratories, or by scientist working for large companies. While everyone (in the western world at least) has benefited from revolutionary new ideas and discoveries, the average person plays a very small part.

Without a university education you are unlikely to contribute to these advances Without a university education and an uncommon academic ability, you are unlikely to contribute to these advances. However, recent changes in technology may now provide a way for everyone to help out. Over 80% of homes in the UK now have access to a broadband internet connection, which has provided a unique opportunity for scientists. There are many problems that computers can solve very quickly, however some problems take even the best computers a very long time to solve.

Next time you are browsing Facebook on your PC, ask yourself if it could be doing more There was only one solution to that problem in the past, which was to build a supercomputer.

These are essentially very large specialised computers, which are many times faster than an ordinary desktop computer. There are problems with supercomputers though, mainly that they are very expensive to build and to run, which is why only large companies, academic institution and government departments own them. The internet however has made a new solution possible; distributed computing.

This method breaks problems up into smaller parts, gets normal computers to work on the different parts, and then collects all the results.

The internet allows these small parts of a problem to be sent to computers all over the world, and spare CPU (central processor unit) cycles (unused computing power) can be given to these problems. The problem with supercomputers is the cost, because every few years much more powerful hardware is available. Buying a new supercomputer every few years is not a viable option for many that have them. Distributed computing however spreads not just the

work, but also the cost of running and upgrading.

Distributed computing is a way of using normal computers to solve large problems So how can people get involved with distributed computing?

Surely like most computer technology it will be very complicated and beyond the understanding of most people? No, there are applications that are made as simple as possible, so as many people as possible can use them.

One example is BOINC (Berkeley Open Infrastructure for Network Computing), which was developed at the University of California. It is a very simple program, you just install it, pick a project and off it goes. The default settings insure that it won’t interfere with how your computer runs, so your computer won’t slow down while it is running.

BOINC allows scientists all over the world to distribute small problems to computers all over

the world, to be solved using CPU cycles that would otherwise go unused.

What are these problems then? There is a wide variety to choose from, and you can take part in just one of them, or all of them. There is a very large protein folding project separate to BOINC called Folding @ Home (Stanford University). Protein folding looks at how protein structures in the body behave, and could provide cures for various diseases such as cancer, HIV, Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s, which is arguably a very worthwhile cause.

BOINC has 250 times more computing power than Reading’s supercomputer So how does distributed computing compare with supercomputing. Well in 2007 Reading University got a new supercomputer which had a performance of 19.04 Tera FLOPs (19.04 trillion floating point operations per

second), which at the time made it the 36th fastest computer in the world.

Distributed computing spreads not just the work but the cost of running and updating By comparison BOINC currently has a total performance 4.779 Peta FLOPs (4779 trillion), or 250 times more computing power than Reading’s supercomputer.

BOINC and Folding @ Home have a combined power of nearly 11 Peta FLOPs, which is more than the world’s fastest supercomputer, the 10.51 Peta FLOP ‘K computer’ (Japan), which costs a staggering $9.89 million per year in running costs.Distributed computing could provide all of the answers to some of the most important scientific questions that are currently being asked.

So next time you are browsing Facebook on your computer, ask yourself if it could be doing more.

32 TRAVEL

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

travel.spark@reading.ac.uk

travel Moscow: an unforgiving city

Stanley Jackson

Standing in central Moscow is like lying on the ground on a clear night staring up at the stars. It’s impossible to understand its scale or its importance and your

insignificant role within it all. The grandeur is inescapable and the history is aggressively visible.

From afar the gorgeous, iconic architecture stands serenely firm in the snow but up close it is gritty

and real, not so soft around the edges.

As I stare up at yet another triumphant statue of Lenin, cutting a windswept and serious figure over the grey sky, I feel it would be fitting that an orchestra should appear to play ‘Patriochineska Pensya’ to accompany these monumental moments. At the top of the columns, which sit behind this Lenin, are incredible depictions of steel workers, farmers and clerks erecting a hammer and sickle to welcome Russians to the University Library behind. Lenin’s eyes, however, look back past me to my hotel; a towering lodge-cum-casino with its neon lights. How things have changed.

What is strange and wholly unique to Moscow is how the old interacts with the new. The beautiful shopping district, with its Armani and its Gucci stores, sit in the shadow of an enormous government building with a red star atop. The old men reserve their steeliest glances for McDon-

alds restaurants as they pass. The golden arches, for many here, are a symbol of cultural defeat. Russian’s do have Russian fast food.

Chayana Lohkzaha, a pancake restaurant, is one of the more popular chains. You can choose anything from a Salmon pancake to one with chocolate and banana. Not brave enough for fish pancakes, I opt for the chocolate and a beer. The window seats face the busy walkway outside.

The grandeur is inescapable and the history is aggressively visible I sit for about 10 minutes watching the people go by. Bored of watching the police with their rifles march up and down, bored of watching the businessmen glued to their telephones, I focus on an old woman. She must be 80. She walks incredibly slowly down the

street, her tiny frame hunched by a long life in the bitter cold of an unforgiving city. Her shabby overcoat looks like it’s seen better years. Her shopping bag is graced by the unmistakable outline of a Vodka bottle, along with the bread and cheese. But we need not fear for her, I am certain she will be there in 10 years time, trudging defiantly in the same way, down the same street.

Russians are enduring; they are tough, hard, the only people throughout history who have had the nerve, sinew and guile to last the Russian winter. Many have tried to conquer the place, but it is the strange will of the old woman that can’t be broken by ideas or machinery.

I see another statue of Lenin on my way back to the airport to catch the flight home. This Lenin does not seem as worried as the one confronting the neon lights; It’s not the flavour of the buildings, which makes Moscow - it’s the determination of its people.

Whatever happened to Margate?

Rosi Hirst

Margate. Once the place to go for holiday-makers from all over the UK, now has faded into a laughing stock, a pale imitation of what it used to be. As desirable holiday destinations go it’s on the bottom end of the scale, just slightly above other equally exotic ports of call Skegness and post-war Baghdad.

Over the last two hundred years the torrent of people pouring in from across the country has slowly come to a standstill, and the only visitors now are the occasional nostalgic day-trippers from London looking for the place they once remembered fondly. However, Margate has fallen on hard times lately.

It has been inundated with an entirely different clientele The beautiful townhouses which once belonged to the Edwardian social elite visiting for the supposedly curative powers of the sea are now predominately dilapidated dirt-cheap flats. The seaside is marred by a hideous grey tower block looming over tacky arcades and tanning salons. Even Dream-

land, the Victorian theme park which was once the jewel in its crown has been closed for many years, its star attraction, 100-yearold rollercoaster The Scenic Railway, heavily damaged in a fire.

Yes, this is my home.

Margate has certainly come a long way since its heyday, it’s true.

Yet I can honestly say it is absolutely worth a visit even in its current state. Understandably, there is bound to be a generous helping of scepticism following this claim, so let me elaborate. Last year, the multi-million pound art gallery the Turner Contemporary opened in Margate Harbour, a gleaming modern cube right by the beach.

While the art centre itself has had very mixed reactions, suddenly Margate has been inundated with an entirely different clientele.

Trendy art-types day-tripping from London, middle-class couples looking for a bit of culture, even students from as far afield as France are all flooding into the town again, and it has responded admirably.

Dozens of charming cafés, independent shops (including some great vintage clothes stores) and souvenir shops selling kitschy old-fashioned seaside merchandise such as risqué postcards and candyfloss have sprung up in the surrounding Old Town area. It

has made for a wonderful place to explore, and it’s easy spend a lazy afternoon wandering through the paved streets, browsing some of the many smaller art galleries spawned from the Turner, grabbing a delicious yet ruinously fattening cupcake or two from the fabulous Cupcake Café, and there’s even a small but steadily-growing market. The Turner Contemporary itself is definitely worth a visit as well even if art is not your thing as the staff there are friendly and welcoming, and the front of the gallery is one huge plate glass window with gorgeous views of the sea. I particularly recommend paying a visit in the evening, as you will have the chance to experience one of Margate’s hidden gems, its stunning sunsets (always a favourite of Turner himself).

The local council has also spent time renovating some of the old houses surrounding the seafront, and there are plans to re-open Dreamland in the next couple of years as a Victorian-themed park with steam-powered rides. And of course, no visit to the town would be complete without a visit to the beach, which is as lovely as ever and, on a hot day, can rival any foreign beach (you’re certainly more likely to get a good spot). Margate may have been down, but as you can see, it not out just yet.

SOCIETY SPOTLIGHT 33

Spark* Friday 3 february 2012

Society spotlight Come and fly with the Travel Society Collette Naden

This fortnight, Spark* talks to Jade Taylor, fund-raising officer for the University of Reading Travel Society.

How long has the travel society been at Reading University?

The Travel Society has been around since 2009 and has been expanding in numbers every year, we now have members who have visited (almost) every country in the world.

What is the society about?

The society was started for those who love to travel. It is for people who want to travel or to get together to bounce travel ideas off each other. The society is for members to find travel buddies and help out those wanting insider knowledge on places.

What does the society do?

We organise trips abroad each year, both within Europe and further afield volunteering. We host talks by those well travelled or working in travel, who can pass on their knowledge. We also advise people on how to get work abroad during the summer.

What are your plans this term?

This term we have a weekend trip to Prague planned -- It is a great (and cheap) way to visit one of the most beautiful cities in Europe.

We also have a fantastic Pamper Evening Fundraising event on the 9 February in 3Sixty with beauticians coming in from all over Berkshire to help out. Fitting around those two big events, we have a passport-themed social and other events to get to know members better and find out where they want to travel to next.

How much is membership?

The cost of membership is £5 for the year.

Travel Society secretary and Spark* Film editor, Steven Howse sums up the society as “An exciting society, which offers a variety of activities. The society specialises in great trips at cheap prices offering brilliant experiences.

We have awesome socials.”

For further information about the society, please search for the Reading University Travel Society on Facebook or email travelsocreading@hotmail.co.uk.

University of Reading Creative Writing Society kerrie black

Treatments available include:

Advance tickets cost £10 and include: • Glass of wine or soft drink • Use of the fish pedicure spa.

• One other treatment of your choice

• • • •

Indian Head Massage Eyebrow threading Manicures Back and Shoulder Massages • Facials • Fish Pedicure Spa • And more...

There will also be lots of stalls selling gorgeous jewellery, gifts, accessories and beauty products.

The main aim of the University of Reading Creative Writing Society, Scribblers, is to unite all writers together. The society aims to help you craft your writing skills and to get your work noticed.

The fantastic thing about the Scribblers is that you do not need to have a degree in English. As long as you have a passion for writing then this is the society for you!

We meet each week on Monday from 7-9pm in HUMSS 125. Each week we work on a different aspect of writing. This term we are focusing on Characterisation, writing styles and audience. We work either alone on independent writ-

ing or larger collaborative projects. Everyone here is so helpful at giving feedback and thinking up fantastic ideas.

Another thing we do is to try and get your work published and noticed. Since we have been founded, we have been printed in three anthologies and as a play.

We have worked with the Body Gossip foundation to provide pieces on our ideas on body images. We have also worked with the University Nursery Wigwams to produce and read stories for the children, as part of National Story Telling Week.

We accept all forms of writing: poetry, prose, drama and nonfiction, so we always get a diverse range of people and writing!

Something that is very important to us is meeting new people with the same interests.

Scribblers has recently won the RUSU society volunteer of the month award, which is really positive.

The fee to join the society is £5, but please feel free to come along to a few sessions first (we also have sweets and cakes). We are in the process of organising a special competition. At the moment we are planning our first society group meal and a trip which is still to be finalised so watch this space.

For more information join our Facebook group, or email scribblers.reading@hotmail.co.uk. We are always looking for new ideas and feedback.

34 LETTERS

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

editor.spark@reading.ac.uk

Letters & Events A big thank you A update Thank you so much to the students who have been writing and reading stories to children at Little Learners Nursery on campus and Blagdon Nursery and Children’s Centre, as part of National Storytelling Week.

Special thanks go to Scribblers, the Creative Writing Society and the English Society for getting so involved with producing and sharing their stories. I know the nursery children and staff have really enjoyed having the students to visit.

If anyone is interested in volunteering at the nursery, or on any other projects, please email volunteer@reading.ac.uk or pop in and see me (the Societies and Volunteering Co-ordinator) in the Hub. There is a volunteering fayre in 3Sixty on Wednesday 22 February from 12 - 3pm where over 20 organisations and local charities will be recruiting volunteers. It will be a great way to get involved with many different projects. Hope to see lots of you there!

Emily Shaw

Does Spark* talk to you? If not, talk to us!

Email: editor.spark@reading.ac.uk Any comments, suggestions, complaints or praises are always welcome. We are your student newspaper, run by students, for students, so we care about what you have to say.

Voices of Reading Reading University Students’ Union and George Palmer Primary School invite you to become a Voice of Reading Voices of Reading is a new community choir open to EVERYONE... university students, staff, local residents, school children, their parents, teenagers, the elderly All levels of ability welcome A capella, folk, gospel, musicals and popular songs – something for everyone!

Rehearsals start Monday 20th February 7 – 8pm George Palmer Primary School, Northumberland Avenue, RG2 7PP

from the Annual Fund Hello from the Development & Alumni Relations Office!

Many of you are already following us on Twitter and Facebook (thanks!), but for those of you who aren’t, I’d like to take a moment to invite you to get involved.

You can find us in the Twittersphere by searching @UniRdg_ Alumni. Here, you will discover a range of thought-provoking and entertaining conversations between our alumni, current students and other members of the University of Reading community.

Only the other day, two Reading alumni turned to our Twitter feed to announce their engagement.

They met at the University of Reading eight years ago and are now looking forward to spending a long and happy life together.

He even proposed beside Whiteknights Lake! You can discover some of the fantastic accomplishments our alumni have made since leaving Reading too. Like Felicity Aston (MSc Meteorology 2000) @ felicity_aston, who has just successfully completed a 1,700km expedition across Antarctica, all alone!

Facebook (search ‘University of Reading Alumni’) provides a great forum for our alumni and current students to compare notes on university life. Why not take a photo of your favourite spot on campus on your phone and upload it to our fan page? I can guarantee that a string of alumni will start ‘liking’ and commenting on it. They love to reminisce after all!

We may be the office that looks after our graduates, but that doesn’t mean that you are not invited to join in the conversations too.

In other news, if any of your friends are taking part in this term’s Annual Fund telephone campaign, please wish them luck.

Throughout February, they’ll be telephoning lots of our friendly alumni from all over the world to update them on university news and invite them to make a donation to the Annual Fund. I look forward to reporting on this and more in the next edition!

Laura Garman, Alumni Communications Officer

Student volunteering week In the last major study, 63% of students surveyed reported formally volunteering since they had started university. As the Societies and Volunteering Co-ordinator for RUSU, I want to ensure that all students at Reading have every opportunity to get involved in volunteering during their time here.

In this Olympic and Jubilee year, opportunities to get involved in projects in the local community seem to be greater than ever and the action packed week of activities planned for student volunteering week (20 - 26 Feb), showcases just this. I hope that the week will give you a greater insight into vol-

unteering; through talking directly to local voluntary groups and charities at a volunteering fayre in 3Sixty, attending talks and getting involved in the one off no commitment volunteering opportunities organised during the week.

Do take a look at the full programme at http://www.rusu.co.uk/ activities/volunteering_home/ and drop me an email if you have any questions or pop in to the Hub for a chat. Go on...escape the student bubble and immerse yourself in local culture.

Emily Shaw

P.O. Box 230, Whiteknights, Reading, RG6 6AZ Vol 59. Issue 2

Editorial Staff

Editor:

Rosi Hirst editor.spark@reading.ac.uk

Deputy Editor:

Lizzie Pollington deped.spark@reading.ac.uk

News Editor:

Kate Delaney news.spark@reading.ac.uk

News Sub-Editor:

Calum Rogers news.spark@reading.ac.uk

Comment Editors:

Lucy Ponder and Kerrie Black

comment.spark@reading.ac.uk

Political Comment

Jessica Rees

Editor:

politics.spark@reading.ac.uk

Interview Editor:

Ellis Wheatley interview.spark@reading.ac.uk

Film, DVD & TV

Steven Howse and Thom Dixon

Editors:

film.spark@reading.ac.uk

Music Editor:

Laurence Green music.spark@reading.ac.uk

Music Sub-Editor:

Jamie Milton music.spark@reading.ac.uk

Science & Tech

Mat Greenfield and Shenol Chaker

Editor:

scitech.spark@reading.ac.uk

Gaming Editor:

Tom Wood gaming.spark@reading.ac.uk

Arts&Books Editor: Lucy Snow arts.spark@reading.ac.uk Fashion Editors:

Petrina De Gouttes and Roberta Sarll

fashion.spark@reading.ac.uk

Travel Editor:

Erica Macheriotou travel.spark@reading.ac.uk

Health Editor:

Renate Cumming-Benson health.spark@reading.ac.uk

Fun&Games Editor: Chris Ryder fun.spark@reading.ac.uk Sport Editor:

Sophie Elliot and Cameron Humphries

sports.spark@reading.ac.uk

Head of PR:

Collette Naden pr.spark@reading.ac.uk

Proofreaders:

Katey Watkins, Vicky Wong

Spark* is written, designed & typeset by students at the University of Reading. Printed

by Newbury News Limited, Newspaper House, Faraday Road, Newbury, Berkshire. RG14 2DW. Published and funded by Reading University Students’ Union vp.studentactivites@rusu.co.uk. Spark* is completely editorially independent. Complaints should be made to the Editor, in the first instance, and thereafter to RUSU. All complaints should be made in writing. All articles, letters etc. must include a name, address, and contact number/e-mail address. These may be withheld from publication at specific request. Spark* or RUSU can take no responsibility for products or services advertised herein. Spark* reserves the right to reject or edit any submissions. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the Editor. The views expressed in Spark* do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor, particularly those expressed in the comments pages, which are often the opinions of the specific authors. Photographs in Spark* are copyright to the photographer concerned.

Spark* Friday 3 February 2012

fun.spark@reading.ac.uk

fun&games Crossword 033 His Liege (4,4) 17. Few people in small settlement lacking carbon (8) 18. Creatures said to be legendary nevertheless exist? (5) 19. Silent reverie? Pay attention!

(6) 20. Puzzle over country holding Student’s Union party (6) 21. Alcoholic clouts insect (6)

Straight Clues ACROSS

Cryptic Clues ACROSS 1. King is glad thereafter with conflict (6,3,5) 9. Peacekeepers’ domain in favour of bureau – that’s embarrassing (13) 10. Overacting Biblical character?

(3) 11. They say you bestow honour on ally (5) 12. Talks to include taking demon off stamps (9) 13. Laugh quietly at the French ships sailing round the north-east experiencing bad luck (11) 18. Ages, each with a large amount of water (6,3) 21. Get up late for protest (3-2) 22. That woman is opening hospital’s Emergency Room (3) 23. Where Lassie would be seen unfavourably? (2,3,8)

24. Helpfully keep score after rum tennis contest (14)

DOWN 1. Difficult to support gangster holding bomb yet (8) 2. Unattractive animal lying with unusual quiet (8) 3. Pass key (6) 4. Pattern in part-time worker arriving behind schedule (8) 5. German and another European picked up and ran off (6) 6. Pick up retro sieve with a hole in the middle (8) 7. Churchwoman swelling to conduct a trade – namely, for Bishop (6) 8. A woman with a heavenly body!

(5) 14. Dig out book of college courses we’re not in (8) 15. Look all over Maine? I don’t know! (6,2) 16. Nazi victory chant glorifying

1. Ninth Century King of Wessex (6,3,5) 9. Awkward; embarrassing (13) 10. Cut of meat from a pig (3) 11. Join forces (5) 12. Writes a destination on the front of an envelope (9) 13. Misfortune (11) 18. Body of water bordering China and Korea (6,3) 21. Stay in bed for longer than normal (3,2) 22. Objective pronoun (3) 23. In someone’s bad books (2,3,8) 24. Usefully (14)

DOWN 1. However (8) 2. Dowdy; poorly-dressed (8) 3. Get away from captivity (6) 4. Design from which a product is mass-produced (8) 5. Ran away to get married (6) 6. Bring back (8) 7. Mother Superior (6) 8. Second planet from the Sun (5) 14. Future outlook (8) 15. Informal phrase meaning “I don’t know” (6,2) 16. Nazi victory salute (4,4) 17. The smaller of two groups of differing opinions (8) 18. Abominable Snowmen (5) 19. Hear (6) 20. Japanese puzzle (6) 21. Swarming insect (6)

Sightings of rare British Yeti Residents in Reading have been given an official warning after three sightings of the extremely rare “British yeti” were reported to local police last week, all within the vicinity of Primark in town.

Very little is known about the creature, although research is ongoing. It is understood that the creature has never been seen before in this area of the country, and therefore presents a marvellous opportunity to learn more about its habits.

Dr Constance Waring, from the University of Reading’s Zoology Department, said “We are very excited indeed to play host to this most peculiar and wonderful of species. The British yeti is the least-sighted of all yetis worldwide and, given that they live for hundreds of years, it is a privilege to witness this during my lifetime.”

However, she agreed with the official warning, saying “It is true that these animals are known to be quite vicious. In Cardiff, in 1904,

the last time it was seen, a man was reported to have had his foot stolen.”

The yeti is said to eat mainly plastic containers, walnuts and bits of Samsung computers. The public are advised not to leave any of these items in wheelie bins outside their houses in case it should attract the creature.

Anyone who has any information or suspects they have seen the animal should contact their local mental hospital.

FUN&GAMES 35

Dear Aunt Adelaide...

While enjoying her venture into the world of technology, Adelaide Featherstonehaugh has agreed to continue answering hand-written post from those who prefer to contact her this way, presumably as some sort of hideous punishment.

Deer aren’t adder laid, Iamb rye tin chew oozing thievery lay test envoys wreck ignitions of where. Hear soaping gits awl were king prop a lea!

Iamb sewer nappy yak them ohm meant form I why fez bins leap inner rounder lot. Sheet old me the udder knight Auschwitz in bet a when cheese with udder guise annex may kin meal ups ate.

Eye a puke an hell pout, adder laid, arrive gun oh 1 Nelson who Mike ankh all.

Rig cards, The Adore

Dear The Adore, From what I can gather, there are a number of problems going on in your life right now and I hope I can help with at least some of them.

Thievery is obviously illegal and to be honest you should seek psy-

chiatric help – it may be that you suffer from kleptomania, which is something I can’t really help you with.

If you can hear those gits next door in the shower all the time, the best thing is to confront them when they’re in a good mood and ask them to keep the noise down a bit – it’s only fair!

The next part of your letter was a little unclear to me, but, as far as I understand it, someone has thrown away your best hat. If you don’t know who it was, I’m afraid the only thing you can do is buy a new one, or possibly talk to your local dustmen in case they’ve seen anything.

I can fully understand that memories your knighted relatives tell you of Nazi concentration camps would make you sick, especially if you eat cheese at the same time.

The best thing is to try and avoid the topic if it makes you feel so ill.

If none of this is of any help, I suggest you talk to your friends Nelson and Mike, as they might know you better and are probably only too happy to do anything they can. Alternatively, recalibrate the voice recognition software you said you’re using in the first paragraph.

All the best, “Adder laid”

Answers to all puzzles can be found at www.sparknewspaper.co.uk. Not interested in the answers? Go there anyway, it’s pretty cool.

Sudoku

marketing@rusu.co.uk

No bull.

Straight talking from KPMG.

Graduate Programmes All degree disciplines

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36 ADVERTISEMENT Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

Spark* Friday 3 February 2012

sports.spark@reading.ac.uk

SPORT 37

SPORT COMMENT The woes of Arsenal FC Matt Davis

This time last year, Arsene Wenger’s Arsenal were challenging on four fronts – the Barclays Premier League, the Champions League, the F. A. Cup and the Carling Cup. Defeats against Barcelona, Manchester United, and Birmingham, combined with a disappointing end to the league campaign meant Arsenal finished another season without silverware.

An 8-2 defeat at Old Trafford told the story of a lacking squad that had been further depleted by the departure of club captain Cesc Fabregas, and Samir Nasri.

Since then, whilst never quite reaching the heights Wenger has for so long promised of his youths, Arsenal have improved, but the form of captain Robin Van Persie has papered over cracks that are deep rooted in a squad that has not won a trophy since 2005.

In their recent league fixture, at home against Manchester United, Arsenal had the opportunity to close in on the much coveted fourth place spot, upon which Wenger has placed so much importance in recent seasons.

It was also a chance to banish the demons of that humiliating defeat at the hands of Sir Alex Ferguson’s United.

Wenger: Under increasing pressure from the clubs fanbase This was not to be, and Wenger came under scrutiny for his decision to substitute Alex OxladeChamberlain.

The Frenchman cited a slight calf aggravation for his reasoning behind this, something that carried little weight considering the impressive movement both on and off the ball that the young English forward was exhibiting.

Boos echoed around the Emirates Stadium once the replacement became apparent; Andrey Arshavin has become an objectionable figure to many supporters after a series of disinterested performances.

A preference of experience over youth is not one consistent with Wenger’s recent philosophy, nor was it a decision that worked in Arsenal’s favour.

They were undone by a United goal, for which Arshavin has received much of the blame, along with his manager for bringing him on.

That the Russian captain was singled out for defensive criticism seems harsh, considering the lack of defensive cover provided by Oxlade-Chamberlain in the first half, which forced Wenger to change the right back Djourou at half time, with Giggs and Nani running the Swiss defender ragged.

Wenger was all too aware of the lack of depth and experience in his squad However, what Wenger’s recent acquisition from Southampton did provide, was attacking flair and drive that was otherwise lacking in Arsenal’s play.

Van Persie: Has been crucial in keeping Arsenal’s season alive Van Persie’s look of despair as the board went up displaying Oxlade-Chamberlain’s number, encapsulated the feeling of dejection about the Gunners’ fans, who continued to let their feelings be known.

It cannot be determined whether the United goal would have been prevented by not making this substitution, but what became clear was that without the young forward, Arsenal never looked likely to fashion the goal necessary to pull level.

Transfer Deadline Day 2012 A day to match 2011? Not quite...

Cameron Humphries

January 31 2011 will always be remembered as one of the most extraordinary days in the history of British football.

Indeed, the average football fan waking up on February 1 last year could have been forgiven for thinking it was all a dream.

It wasn’t, Chelsea really did spend the outrageous sum of £50 million on Fernando Torres, Liverpool really did spend the smaller but still equally astounding amount of £35 million to make Andy Carroll the most expensive British footballer of all time.

In total £225 million was spent in last year’s window, this year’s £60 million pales in comparison. Yet, while last year England’s biggest clubs spent money like it was going out of fashion, this year’s trend has been notably different.

Instead of big money deals, a mix of experienced pros, hot prospects,

loan signings and rough diamonds have characterised this year’s window.

In comparison to the £225 million spent in last year’s window, this year’s £60 million pales With both Torres and Carroll stuggling to prove they are worth the vast outlay lavished on them, it is no surprise that the top clubs have exercised a degree of caution this time round.

It is also worth considering that, with UEFA’s Financial Fair Play regulations looming larger, clubs are more concerened with the bottom line than ever before.

Tusday’s deadline day will not go down as a classic, however, it was far from quiet.

Belgian youngster Kevin de Bruyne joined Chelsea for £6.7 million, before immediately being loaned back to Genk until the end of the season, an indication that Chelsea are planning for the future.

Everton opened their chequebook to sign Ranger’s striker Nikica Jelavic, a 25 year old Croation international while Louis Saha left the Toffee’s to join Spurs on loan until the end of the season.

Djibril Cisse returned to the Premier league in a £4 million move to QPR from Lazio, with Bobby Zamora also moving to the R’s from local rivals Fulham for a fee rumoured to be around £4.5 million.

Talented teenage footballer Ravel Morrison moved to West Ham from Manchester United and Wayne Bridge will look to get his promising career back on track following his loan move to Sunderland.

At first glimpse, a managerial error, but even if it was a forced decision, Wenger must have looked to his bench and wondered how the squad he led to an unbeaten season, that were once the gem of the Premier League, now boasted a substitute bench of Park, Squillaci, Arshavin, Benayoun, Miquel and Yennaris for outfield players.

Yes, the removal of OxladeChamberlain was a mistake, but the damage had already been done.

A late flurry of transfers that saw the arrival of Benayoun, Arteta, and Mertesacker to the Emirates indicated that Wenger was all too aware of the lack of depth and experience in his squad, had it been an issue addressed earlier, the injury crisis he is experiencing would perhaps not be so damaging.

A dramatic win against Aston Villa in the F. A. Cup brought with it many aspects that have typified Arsenal of late.

Stylish, slick play, but clinically lacking, and defensive worries that left them exposed, but that were ultimately concealed by an emphatic Van Persie performance.

There can be no denying that the Arsenal squad is lacking depth, and a club with such lofty ambitions as theirs need much greater quality in depth than it currently possesses.

This year’s biggest moves...

Papiss Cisse - Freiburg to Newcastle - £10m* Kevin de Bruyne - Genk to Chelsea - £6.7m Nikica Jelavic - Rangers to Everton - £5.5m Bobby Zamora - Fulham to QPR - £4.5m Djibril Cisse - Lazio to QPR - £4m Ravel Morrison - Manchester United to West Ham - £650k Louis Saha - Everton to Tottenham - Loan

Nikica Jelavic: Will the Croat bcome a hero on Merseyside?

Wayne Bridge - Manchester City to Sunderland - Loan

38 SPORT

sports.spark@reading.ac.uk

Friday 3 February 2012

Monty worth a spin: Magic Monty England’s only shining light Badal Naik

The last time Monty Panesar played Test cricket, he was the toast of Cardiff 2009 after joining forces with Jimmy Anderson to save an Ashes Test with the bat.

Monty, on his return to Test cricket, has once again been hailed for his efforts, only this time, with the ball.

His selection for the second Test was a late call, and one that proved to be an important one.

Monty only learned of his selection 20 minutes prior to the start, but he was into the game very quickly indeed with Captain Andrew Strauss turning to him as early as the sixth over; in what was a marathon spell ahead of first-choice Graeme Swann, in which he removed opener Hafeez.

Panesar bowled well considering his time out of the side, and returned first innings figures of one for 91 off 33 including nine maidens.

Although he dropped some short, it was very understandable, as he settled in to overcome his nerves of returning after so long.

What was noticeable though, was the return of his enthusiasm which spread throughout the England camp. The fans’ favourite spinner showed in the second innings that the nerves had worn off, and

the Monty of old was back. Once again, introduced within the first 10 overs and crucially, ahead of Swann again, Hafeez was his man once more as he trapped him legbefore for 22, providing the first breakthrough. Swann was able to dismiss the other opener from the other end straight away.

However, Monty was not finished yet, and looked as dangerous as ever However, Monty was not finished yet, and looked as dangerous as ever, getting the ball to dip and turn away from the right-handed batsmen, causing havoc with the straight one. The slow left-armer was back in the action to pick up the prized wicket of Younis Khan, rattling his stumps for one.

Next in line for Panesar, were Misbah and Shafiq, both of whom are quality players of spin. As Pakistan slumped to a 198 for eight, Panesar bagged his fifth as Ajmal knicked to Anderson at slip, his second five-wicket haul on this tour.

As the opportunity to finish the innings presented itself, Monty

gladly obliged, bowling Junaid Khan for a four-ball duck.

Monty finished with figures of 6 for 62 off a marathon 38.2 overs, including 18 maidens. Pakistan were bowled out for 214 leaving England needing 145 to win the match and level the second of the three-match series.

With 145 to win, many had closed the curtains on Pakistan winning the match and one former England captain, Geoffrey Boycott, bet his three houses on England winning this Test match live on the BBC TMS service. It was a slow start for England, and the plan to open with spin was a thoughtful move

by Pakistan skipper Misbah.

Restricting the flow of runs, and pressure ever-increasing against a spin attack which proved too good for the English batsmen, Cook was first to go. Bell, Pieterson and Morgan all followed in quick succession to slump 37 for 4.

Pieterson’s poor technique was yet again highlighted as he succumbed to a left-arm spinner once more.

Strauss was lucky to have survived as long as he did as it was almost unanimously agreed he was caught cleanly at silly-point, except from the third-umpire Billy Bowden who gave Strauss another life.

Magic Monty was brilliant on his return to Test Cricket However he was trapped lbw to Rehman and left England 56 for 5 off 29 overs.

The dismissal of Trott, England’s ‘Mr Reliable’, started a flurry of wickets during which Rehman

bagged his first five-wicket hall in Test cricket, and England lost five wickets for only four runs.

Abdur Rehman finished with career-best figures of 6 for 25 off 10.1, whilst England’s biggest threat on tour, Ajmal, picked up three wickets to add to his tally.

The match was wrapped up with a day to spare and England were left humiliated by the poor performance of their batsmen. The bowlers worked well together as a unit and they could not have done better to keep England in the game and get them into a match winning position.

As the bowling performance was hailed, the batting was not; it was described by Boycott as ‘a load of rubbish’. The English batsmen were left embarrassed with their lack of ability to combat spin in sub-continental conditions.

A triumphant day for Pakistan, especially after the last 12 months that they have had, but there are now question marks about the validity of England’s rise to number one in the Test rankings.

What should have been an ending reflecting the incredible comeback of Monty Panesar and the hard work shown by all the English bowlers in taking 20 Pakistani wickets, is one reflecting the humiliating performance of England’s batsmen.

Sharapova silenced by Aza- Clash of the Titans: Djokovic victorious renka in Australian Open Sophie Elliott

Victoria Azarenka became Australian Open Champion and world number one last Saturday with a confident win over former winner Maria Sharapova. The score-line of 6-3 6-0 demonstrates the lack of nerves Azarenka displayed on her way to becoming the first ever Belarusian to win a Grand Slam title.

Displacing Caroline Wozniacki as best female tennis player, Azarenka’s consistent, powerful tennis wore down Sharapova and the gap between them widened after the first set.

Making only 12 unforced errors in comparison to Sharapova’s 30, Victoria Azarenka also crucially kept the pressure on with her second serve. Whereas Sharapova only won a disappointing 18% of her second serves, Azarenka managed 53%, which proved to be a deciding factor in the Australian heat.

After only dropping one set during the entire tournament, Victoria Azarenka said ‘I would like to thank my team…You made me realise I can believe in myself and that I can finally raise this trophy’.

This was Azarenka’s first Grand Slam final after reaching the semifinals of last year’s Wimbledon and she was ruthless in the Rod Lever arena. Gracious in defeat, Maria

Sharapova urged her competitor to “cherish it as long as you can. As in any sport you have your good days and your tough days, where things just don’t work out.”

During the final, Victoria was better on so many levels. It has been a few years since I have stood here on this stage. I have had the great moments and the tough losses, and this was another one’.

“As in any sport you have days where just don’t work out.”

However, yet again, it must be said that the shrieks from both women were off-putting and, as a spectacle, both the men’s semi-finals and final were better to watch.

As there seems to be a changing of the guard in women’s tennis at the moment - with no real dominance from one individual – surely getting people to watch women’s tennis is vital. Tweeting with hash tag #womeninsport, it was evident that these noises are discouraging many.

Plus, watching the women on the practice courts, not a yell was to be heard. So, come on ladies, let’s stop this and get some exciting, enjoyable tennis viewed by the public.

Sophie Elliott

Australian Open Final, Melbourne.

5-7 6-4 6-2 6-7 (5-7) 7-5 Just two days after an exhausting and lengthy semi-final against Murray, Novak Djokovic surged to defeat Rafael Nadal in a match that was only minutes shy of six hours. Nadal called it “one of the losses I am most happy with in my career” and when asked if it was the best match of his life, Djokovic simply replied, ‘Yes’.

The physical and mental endurance of both players was evident as the sets wore on. On more than one occasion, it seemed the match swung in favour of one player, only for the other to claw back.

One such example could be the final set itself, where Nadal seemed to be staging a comeback. With the Spaniard leading 4 -2, it seemed the effects of Djokovic’s route to the final were biting back. Yet Djokovic’s conditioning and fitness came to fruition in a match where neither player’s physio was called on to court.

Djokovic said “You’re trying to activate your legs, you’re trying to push ­yourself another point. Just one more point, one more game.

You’re going through so much suffering your toes are bleeding.

Everything is just outrageous, but you’re still enjoying that pain.”

When asked if it was the best match of his life, Djokovic simply replied, ‘Yes’ Nadal was also positive in defeat.

“I didn’t have mental problems today against him. I had in 2011 all these mental p ­ roblems. So that’s another positive thing. ­Probably I never say so many positive things after I lose (sic).”

So, the question now arises – is this the greatest era in men’s tennis? Does the sheer athleticism and rivalry of the top four eclipse that of Borg, McEnroe and Connors? The level of tennis being played by the best men in the world is testing endurance and fitness – both mentally and physically – seemingly more than ever before.

Djokovic’s success: 2008: Australian Open 2011: Australian Open 2011: US Open 2011: Wimbledon 2012: Australian Open

World Number one Novak Djokovic celebrated his fifth major following a truly special final

Spark* Friday 3 February 2012

sports.spark@reading.ac.uk

SPORT 39

Reading Knights Canoe do North Wales Calling all writers and On the weekend of 27-29 January the canoe club headed to North Wales for our annual training trip.

This saw 10 coaches develop 20 of the up and coming members of the club, particularly with skills on white water.

Saturday was spent on the Upper Tryweryn, undertaking workshops on three fundamental but vitally important skills while on moving water; river leading, river reading and personal skills. Students were split into five groups accord-

ing to ability and spent one and a half hours on each station working on different sections of the river using the features to develop their skills.

The Sunday saw us head to the River Dee which was a nice low to medium level which saw the students put in practice on all the skills they had learnt on the Saturday to style a short section.

This river was ideal for all those involved from complete ‘newbies’ to the vastly experienced.

The weekend went off without a hitch bar one snapped paddle and one dented boat. Other than this it was a thoroughly enjoyable trip for those involved and very promising signs for the club’s future. Now to look forward to next month’s surf trip to Wales!

If this sounds like you, then drop a line to president@rucc.co.uk or come along to a session on a Wednesday from 2pm or Saturday at 1pm at the Wokingham Waterside Centre.

First competition of 2012 for RUC

aspiring sports editors...

We are currently looking for one or two sports enthusiasts to fill the role of editor of the Spark* Sport section for next term and next year. We are also in need of more writers to report and write articles for the section.

So if you are interested, please contact us by email at sports.spark@reading.ac.uk or on Facebook ‘Spark* Sport 2011/2012’. We are also on Twitter @Spark_sport.

Alex Mann

The Reading University Cheerleaders will be competing in their first competition of the year in February and are hoping to uphold their winning title from last year as BCA Co-ed Level 3 Champions.

They have been training hard twice a week to perfect their brand new routine and hope to wow the judges with impressive stunting, dance and gymnastics.

The Dance squad are also working hard and hope to bring back another trophy for RUC. Aside from competing, RUC have got many other exciting plans for 2012 including supporting the University sports teams and Maidenhead Rugby Club.

Once again, they will be attending the Reading Half Marathon to give some cheery support to everyone taking part and are also excited to be involved with the Reading Race for Life 2012.

Some lucky members of the squad got the amazing opportunity to take part in a new MTV programme that was aired last term and the squad have also worked with Heart FM surprising a competition winner, both of which were great publicity for the squad.

As ever RUC are keen to fundraise as much as possible and started off the year with a very successful bag-pack at Morrison’s, the money raised will pay for a set of new Pom Poms for the dance squad.

If you wish to contact RUC please visit the website for more details: http://www.wix.com/rucheerleaders/unicheer

Reading University Cheerleaders: An important term for the RUC, who enjoyed a succesful year in 2011

In other news...

Manchester United have drawn level with rivals Manchester City at the top of the Barclay’s Premier League following City’s 1-0 defeat at Everton this week Harry Redknapp continues to face trial at Southwark Crown Court for Tax Evasion John Terry’s trial for alleged racial abuse will take place in July, after the Eruopean Championships in which he is set to captain England F1 driver Adrian Sutil has been convicted of GBH against Renault F1 executive Eric Luz last April and has been handed a 200,000 Euro fine and an 18 month suspended sentence.

40 SPORT

Friday 3 February 2012 Spark*

sports.spark@reading.ac.uk

SPORT Inside...

Reading University Knights Rugby team defeat Kingston James Riley

Reading 2nd XV vs Kingston 1st XV: Having played, and lost, away at Kingston earlier in the season, this was to be a match of paramount importance in the second XV’s bid to gain promotion.

Less than five minutes into the game and Reading already had given away a penalty

A look back at the Australian Open

Knowing that the team faced a large, well drilled team from Kingston, a strong XV was named.

We knew we were up against it.

But the Reading XV knew that the team had come far from the last time the two sides met, and there would be no consistent torrent of abuse from the side lines (for us anyway).

Kick off was something of interest when Reading were informed that due to being slightly late for kick off, this warranted a penalty to the opposition to start play.

Less than five minutes into the game and Reading had already given away a needless penalty within easy kicking distance, 3–0 to the visitors. After a period of sustained pressure Kingston found themselves on the scoreboard again, this time scoring a try in the process.

In the huddle under the posts it was noted, amongst other things, that the opposition seemed to have known we were operating a wraparound defence and were therefore swinging the ball one way then immediately the other thus counteracting our normally tight defence.

With inroads immediately being made into the Kingston defence, Reading 2nd XV were rewarded with a penalty. Converted by Seb Lear and Reading had their first

points. Soon after Kingston were again awarded a penalty and the score was 11–3. Reading knew that a score before half time was crucial. Up stepped fresher Alfie who brushed off tackles down the wing to score in the corner. Half time was whistled and the scores stood at 11–8.

The second half was dominated

by Reading with at least 70% of the game occurring in the opposition’s 22. The Reading boys were buoyed up with the arrival of Reading’s 1st XV on the side line.

With substitutions made Reading were able to maintain the pressure on the Kingston line as the fresh legs begun to show.

With less than 10 minutes left of a scoreless half and after relent-

less patience shown from Reading, Seb Lear managed to find a portly looking forward in the opposition defence who looked as if they were running in quick sand as they attempted to make the covering tackle. A cacophony of noise erupted from the side lines as all supporting the second XV thought this would see the Reading team through.

However there were still seven minutes left on the clock and with a slender lead of 13–11, Reading knew they still had a lot of defending left.

With Kingston attacking with their all a gap out wide was found and only a try saving tackle from none other than Coffey, in which he also managed to steal the ball, denied the opposition from stealing the win.

A missed penalty from the opposition and a converted penalty

by Toby Spark was enough to see Reading gain the points with a score of 16–11.

ing from the field. Asa Burnett (22nd) again finished first for the team, one second ahead of David Kirk (23rd) in a time of 23 minutes and 49 seconds. Both runners improved greatly from the previous race. Laurence Stech (27th) followed in a time of 24 minutes 14 seconds. Rising 33 places since the last meet, Stech has shown great improvement and promise over the Christmas period, and no doubt his speed will continue to increase.

With all of its runners, it looks like the men’s team will quickly rise into the top 10.

The women’s team had their strongest ever performance, entering the top 10 for the first time this year. The result was a real testament to the commitment and determination showed by this growing team. Natalie Pecoraro (13th) lead the way in a time of 13 minutes 47 seconds and Toni Bamford (24th) followed up Natalie’s strong performance. It was encouraging to see new additions to the team assisting in the fantastic results.

This impressive progress is a real testament to the hard work of RUKA’s athletes and also the

invaluable guidance of Coach Nick Bates. The team also used the assistance of Red Bull in their preparation and recovery.

The next race is scheduled to be the BUCS National Cross Country Championships on 4 February in Cardiff. The LCL league will continue in Alexandra Park on 8th February.

RUKA’s annual fundraising five mile road race event will take place on 12 February 2012 on The University Campus at 11:00am.

Entry can be found at: http:// www.nice-work.org.uk/events. php?id=16. All are welcome!

Reading were able to maintain the pressure on the Kingston line

Reading University Knights Athletics

England collapse against Pakistan

This week, RUKA hosted the fourth round of the London College’s Cross Country League at Prospect Park, Reading. The course was a two mile loop, which included several long steep inclines with shorted descents, conditions were treacherous providing a challenging race! The men completed this loop twice and once for the women.

The men’s team showed their consistency by ranking 11th for the second consecutive race, even with a couple of key runners miss-

Knights Hockey update Teresa Turner

Canoe Club report

Reading Knights Ladies Hockey third team celebrated their first win of the season on Wednesday with a 6-1 victory against Kings College second team, moving them from bottom of the table.

It was a shaky start with the Knights 1-0 down at half time despite having most of the possession. But a goal shortly into the second half inspired confidence into the girls, with five more to follow in the last 15 minutes.

Man of the match was awarded to Annabel Coy who provided a strong centre mid, setting the stage for a hat trick from Sarah

Wrighton, and Holly McKinnel successfully converted a short corner. Captain Sam Robertson who scored the final two goals declared ‘the girls played with enviable fighting spirit.’

After a difficult autumn term it was important to the team to start with a successful game, Vice Captain Karen Nicholls said ‘our game against KCL last term was very close, we were the better team and were determined to show it this time around.’

The girls hope to continue on their streak of success in their next game against Kingston University first team on 8 February.

Spark* Sport Quiz

1. Which International football team went through 2011 unbeaten?

2. Which event is the first gold medal of the Olympics set to be won?

3. Which team is Kimi Raikkonen set to rejoin F1 with this year?

4. Which player topped both the European and US tour money lists last year?

5. Which country did South

Africa defeat 134-3 in a rugby union international in November 2004?

1. England 2. Shooting 3. Lotus 4. Luke Donald 5. Uruguay

David Kirk