sibling’s perspective By: Zach Elliott
MEET ZACH & HIS BROTHER, SAM My name is Zach Elliott. I’m a 19-year-old from Fishers, IN. I’m a sophomore in college, and my brother, Sam, is a 14-year-old in seventh grade. Sam was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder when he was 3, and as is for the case for many families, the diagnosis changed a ton for us. It came as a shock to my parents, who had never faced a similar situation with me or my older brother, Ben. I had trouble grasping what it meant for Sam; I knew that it was a big deal, but I didn’t think it would be something that so deeply influenced his life and mine. My parents spent years trying to help Sam, be it through specialized education or different methods of treatment. I wanted to help, but I was nine when he was diagnosed and anyone who’s met a 9-year-old knows they aren’t experts in psychological development (or anything else). As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gained a greater understanding of how Sam has grown and all the effort that it took not just from my parents, but Ben and I, too. I’m embarrassed to admit that I often felt neglected growing up; I didn’t give my parents enough credit for how much time they spent putting Sam into a position to succeed. Ben understood better than I did, and did what he could to be a good brother to Sam. Now that I’m at the age he was, I can appreciate what it takes not only to raise children, but to balance their unequal needs.
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10 Special Needs Living • December 2020
Thankfully now that I can understand the difficulties of my parents’ balancing efforts, I take solace in the times when I was able to be a part of big moments for Sam, some of my favorites being his first experiences in a big city. My dad is from Chicago and I go to school there, so he’s had the opportunity to visit and experience some things in the city that he wouldn’t otherwise. The first time, he was able to visit the Willis Tower, Shedd Aquarium, Millennium Bean, etc. and be amongst crowds of people in a way that he never had. Similarly, we’ve had the chance to go to Indianapolis Indians games with him and, while he encountered the same small annoyances that we all face at baseball games on a hot day, he enjoyed it. Now that we’re in a pandemic I’ve been involuntarily put in a situation where I see how Sam is doing. As we start to move to a different town roughly 30 minutes away, Sam has been faced with the challenge of starting at a new school. Better than I think I could have, he’s done well in trying to make new relationships and maintain old ones from his old school.
