Finding Your
By Angela Arlington
TRIBE
Some may give you advice on everything over and over again. Some may insist that your child will never be independent. Some may question your skills as a parent. Some may suggest that punishment will change your child’s behaviors. Some may try to force their own beliefs on you. Some may be in denial and tell you that you are making things up and your child is fine. Some may not speak to your child if they are non-verbal. Some may get frustrated when you have to cancel plans because of your child. Some will stop calling about playdates because they think your child is too strange. Some may stare at your child in public and say inappropriate things. Some may allow their children to bully your child. Some may avoid eye contact with you. Some may treat your child like an object, forgetting they have feelings. Some may “forget” to invite you to events. Some may avoid you and your child as if you were contagious. Some may change their voice when speaking to your child. Some may challenge your knowledge about your own child. Some may insist that changing their diet will “cure” them. Some may isolate your child from others. Some may tell you that you caused your child to be different. Some may criticize you, your child, or your entire family. Some may have very low expectations of your child. Some may only see weaknesses in your child. Some may tell you there is no hope.
Avoid these types of people, even if they are family, friends, doctors, or professionals. It can be hard to walk away from people, but if they make you feel negative emotions, you owe it to yourself and your child to let them go. Find people who uplift your spirits. Find people who are on a similar path. Find people that will listen to you. Find people who will cry and laugh with you. Find people who you can trust. Find people who treat you and your child with respect. Find people who stand up for you and your child. Find people who embrace your journey. Find people who will celebrate each small step made. Find people who make time for you. Find people who will brainstorm ideas with you. Find people who treat your child like every other child. Find people who will dance with you in the rain.
The best relationships in any form last through good and bad times. These are the people you want in your tribe!
40 Special Needs Living • May 2022
