Faustina
Becky made a few things clear to me that although their marriage is very strong, and they have a united front. They do however have heated discussions on different diagnoses on what things could be. A lot of that comes from denial due to what they have seen. That even as a power couple life is not always easy and that they are constantly trying to figure out what each child needs. Becky and her husband have learned to navigate the needs of their children and who can handle what. They both make time to do Pauline one-on-ones as well as spend as much family time together as possible. One of the family’s hobbies is eating. When ask their favorite restaurant Becky laughs, she said well that just depends. With eight people in the home, moods tend to sway, especially when six of them are women. We both laughed. Most of the time the agreement lands on Chipotle, Chilis, or Qdoba.
Catherine
Gabriel & Chris
Mikaela
Adeline
to now seeing her on some days unable to speak, wheelchair transfers, and her energy level decreasing. At times she may not have the energy to even get out of bed and other days energy just beams through her smile, the unknown makes it difficult. Becky spoke candidly about how she believes and knows how this is impacting the other five children. She said to me that with the progressive diagnosis she often feels it may affect the faith of her other children. One of her chief prayers is Lord prepare my children for what is to come, and Lord please do not put more on us than you can help us to handle. I found this to be very powerful. She went to add the other kids are going to be fine, they are going to be stronger because of what they have seen their siblings experience. Becky believes that there needs to be an active effort to take care of the needs of every member of the family as equally as possible. They seek a family therapist as well to assist in working through the makeup of their household as they strive to meet the needs of all their children. “There is a constant awareness of watching for signs and symptoms in our other children.” Becky Cash
From the outside looking in one may never expect the complexity of their journey. They live in a suburban upper middle-class neighborhood, they have a gerbil and a cat, they own a family van. When outsiders see this, they only get a glimpse of the story. The Cash family has come to own their complexities and it never stops them from living life. They vacation often, with Disney and anywhere with a beach being their favorite destination. Becky did share with me that with the different diagnosis, it is not often that all eight family members get to travel together, however for Christmas they have a tradition of traveling to Cincinnati, OH to be with her family and the kids love the jokes of Uncle D. Something profound that Mrs. Cash shared with me was even when they are in the middle of the ocean, they never get away their children’s illness and disabilities, you never get away from it, it becomes who you are. The Cash family attends St. Alphonsus Liguori Church, which is in Zionsville, IN. Becky states that church is very accommodating to families with special needs as well as adults with disabilities. This is important because their family is a true example of one that walks by faith and not by sight and having a comfortable place to exercise that faith and worship is key to keeping them grounded. In closing I ask Becky what her advice would be to other families who are navigating this journey of special needs, uncertainty, and disabilities. “My advice would be to families of children and loved ones with special needs is to never give up and never believe the limits that others put on you and your loved ones. Always follow your instinct. Remember that this is about getting from point A to Z, whatever that may be. Every human being has the right to reach their God-given potential whatever that may be. A diagnosis is not a potential it is just a starting point. Something about the finality makes you come to terms with the reality of diagnosis but then you quickly move into the now what. She went on to add, I don’t want families to feel as if God has forgotten them.” If you would like to share your personal or family story, or to nominate someone else to be in an upcoming issue of Special Needs Living? Email us at SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com
November 2020 • Special Needs Living
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