RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE KEY TO THE GREAT COMMANDMENT - DARREL LAND

darrel land

relationships are the key to the great commandment

What makes an effective church leader? We could certainly say faithfulness. That is a fair statement. We could say gospel-focused. this is certainly a true key to effectiveness. Jesus said to “go and make disciples.” Sharing the gospel is certainly key in that pursuit. We could say vision is a mark of an effective leader. When you look at leaders from the Bible, as well as church leaders today, it is fair to say leaders are visionary. Those are all great marks of good church leaders.

However, when we look at the teachings and daily life of Jesus’ ministry, we see another important quality — a character trait — I believe is, maybe, the most necessary of all to lead the church and to help the church be as effective and on mission as possible.

This quality flows out of the Great Commandment Jesus gave to his disciples. In Matthew 22:36-40 Jesus says to love God. Then he follows that up and says to love your neighbors as yourself.

LOVE GOD. LOVE PEOPLE. That sounds good and we probably all agree with the idea. Love God and love others. The question is, how do we do this? I am afraid we make this more complicated than we need to. Jesus says to love our neighbors. Neighbors are people we are near, people we work, live, and recreate with. Jesus commanded us to do this and he mastered it himself.

Look through the gospels. Jesus was always interacting, sharing meals, and genuinely engaged with everyday people. Jesus interacted with followers (church people) as well as those who were not yet followers. In fact, one of the religious leaders’ big criticism of Jesus was that he hung out with sinners.

Jesus was always with people and building relationships. One of the best examples of this was Jesus’ interaction with the woman at the well. Jesus went out of his way to have an unlikely conversation with this woman. He met her where she was and it opened doors of tremendous conversation.

This is still our calling as pastors and ministry leaders today. Relationships are the most important ministry tool to loving people today.

I am afraid, for many, it has become a neglected thing. In my experience, many ministers and church leaders have become more like leaders of corporations rather than being relationship focused. We have too many CEOs instead of pastors living life with everyday folks. We have too many ministers who spend the majority of their time within the walls of the church offices — rather than spending time with people. It seems the biblical model of the pastor as shepherd has been replaced with the model of the pastor as manager.

Certainly, there is a business side of church and sometimes our roles involve overseeing business matters. However this should never dominate our time and change our focus from building relationships with everyday people, both inside the church and outside the church. We cannot make a heavenly impact on earth if we are stuck in our C-suites. If we truly are going to live and lead like Jesus, then we must be doing life in everyday relationships with our communities.

In his book, “They Smell Like Sheep,” Lynn Anderson makes the point that good shepherds spend so much time with the sheep they are shepherding that they end up smelling like sheep. I believe he was on to something Jesus lived out. Think about it. Jesus left the comforts of heaven, came into our world to be with us and save us. Anderson would say he came into our pasture and smelled like us.

Why is this so important? Is it just because Jesus did it and commanded us to? Obviously, it is always important to do what Jesus did and what he said to do.

However, there is something more. I contend his way is truly the most effective way to win and lead people. It is the only way to tangibly love them.

I have said for years, leadership is not about position, but influence. People don’t follow well because of titles or mandates. They follow because they want to follow. Look at the most successful leaders — be it in sports, business, or the church — and you will find a great percentage of the time leaders have such buy-in from the people that they are leading that they would run into battle with them. That type of buy-in comes from relationships that develop influence. How can we do this?

WE MUST BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT BEING WITH PEOPLE. Let’s look back to the example of Jesus with the Samaritan woman at the well. Jesus was intentional. He had to go out of his way, off the normal path to be there. He also was the first to strike up the conversation.

If we are going to build influential relationships we must be intentional about getting outside of our offices to meet and talk with people.

For me, this means not camping out in a backstage green rooms on Sunday mornings — except when getting ready to preach. It is important to be in the lobby or somewhere accessible to people and able to meet new people.

This means I am going to volunteer — something outside of my job responsibilities — in an area in the church. I volunteer as a youth coach in our student ministry and have had the pleasure of walking with 20-plus students every year throughout the course of their middle and high school years.

It means I am going to continue to make some hospital calls and funeral home visits. We are at the size where I cannot make every one of them, but I can take my turn. It is amazing to me how we often completely stop doing the things God used to help get us where we are.

It also means I am going to find some ways to get into the community where I live. I am going to go to festivals, ballgames, community functions, and school events. One of the greatest things I have been able to do to connect and meet people is to coach youth sports. The number of kids, parents, and grandparents I have met is staggering.

Find some way to be present in your community and in your neighborhood.

Not only must we be intentional, but we must be real and accessible.

I have seen too many churches — both small and large — where the lead pastor is seen more as a celebrity. We are often viewed as above everyone else. Jesus certainly was above everyone else and he had celebrity appeal, but he lived the exact opposite. He dined and hung out with anyone and everyone. He didn’t demand to be served, but instead served. He was nothing if not real.

We are not Jesus. We are imperfect, so it is all the more important that we are real, transparent, present, and accessible to people we are hoping to reach and influence.

Darrel Land is the founding and senior minister of Redemption Christian Church in Jasper, Indiana, a small rural town with a population of 15,000. The church started in 2000 with 12 people and has grown to average over 1,800 people.

In December of 2016, Redemption Christian Church opened its second campus in Loogootee, IN.

Darrel and his wife, Holli, have been in ministry together for over 16 years and they have a daughter, Livia, and son, Jace. Darrel is a 1995 graduate of Kentucky Christian University and previously served in ministries in Marengo, Ind., and Gosport, IN. Darrel loves preaching the gospel and pouring into others that do.