Spirit of Change Magazine Spring/Summer 2022

Page 20

Photo©Ulkas/123rf.com

Our Senses are Our Allies BY SUSAN MEEKER-LOWRY

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periods increased until my anosmia was total. All y sense of smell has always been a source of told, I experienced six months of intermittent loss pleasure and curiosity. When I was a young and four months of complete anosmia. girl, I would head to the woods, my nose quivering I researched everything I could find on the subject. (or so I imagined) as the smells of pine, leaves, damp What caused it? Most often viral moss, and soil were released by my footsteps. I’d stick my We have access to infections, sinus problems, polyps, head injury. Could it be cured? nose deep into my mother’s the very life and Sometimes, if you were lucky. It dark red, climbing roses — how was terrifying; anosmia wasn’t fragrant they were! The spicy intelligence of the considered a big deal and there was deliciousness of blousy peonies! And the unmistakable sign spring universe through the very little interest or money for research. (Thanks to Covid, this is really was on the way: the scent of superpowers of starting to change.) snow melt! It never occurred to Anosmia is an invisible loss. me that losing my ability to smell our senses. People can still see, hear, drive. (anosmia) was even a possibility. Unless their job depends on the ability to smell — as But it happened (pre-Covid), beginning in the mine did — they can still live a “normal” life. There summer of 2018, the year I moved from Maine to is some acknowledgement of the safety implications, New York to be closer to my sons and grandchildren, but very little attention is given to the emotional and to focus on making natural perfumes. In the impacts of being “nose blind.” beginning, there were times when I could smell Yet, I felt as though a part of me had died. Waking and times when I couldn’t. Gradually the anosmic

20 Spirit of Change | SPRING/SUMMER 2022

up — no smell of coffee or even poop in the kitty litter. I loved cooking for my family, but no more. No smell of musk from damp earth. My daughter-in-law was pregnant and I feared I wouldn’t experience that beautiful new baby smell ever again. I lived in a bubble that separated me from everyone I loved, and even from myself. When I’d walk by the desk and shelves that serve as my perfumery, lined with hundreds of little bottles of aromatic delight, all I wanted to do was sweep my arm and smash them to tiny pieces. No longer did a whiff of something bring back a memory of my grandmother’s dressing table, or a fleeting scent bring back in a flash a place or event so long forgotten it was like it didn’t exist. I felt like I was losing parts of my very being. As my life fell flat, joy receded. When I wasn’t actively doing something, I was depressed. There were times I simply did not want to live, as dramatic as it sounds. Finally, in April 2019, my ENT appointment arrived and I was diagnosed with inflammatory polyps that responded well to non-surgical treatment. Within a few days my smell began to return. Within a month it was mostly restored, and when my new grandson was born I was blessed with that sweet new baby smell! Over the weeks and months that followed, my sense of smell grew keener until finally the intuitive connection between my olfactory abilities and my memory of scent returned. Now I am the Goddess of Scent. Walking with my family in the woods, I draw their attention to the sweet balsam fragrance made so much sweeter by the heat of the summer sun. Or bend down, dig a hole, and invite their little noses to explore the damp, musky, mossy soil. Or — a favorite -— picking fungi and snapping it open to release its unmistakable dusky scent into the air. I draw attention to the myriad fragrances of a storm blowing in — sweet hay, resinous pine, blooming goldenrod, the musk of decomposing leaves, then lightning flashes and a metallic note releases as the wind picks up. All of these are gifts, our bodies tuned to the energy, our senses picking out the nuances, with every pore open in our being. We are living vessels of sensation and feeling, dancing with the joy and magic of it all. This is what it means to be human! My experience with anosmia changed me and added a new dimension to my work and purpose in the world. I never take my ability to smell for granted, and I have a greater appreciation for my other senses that seem to be keener as well. Perhaps my nose has invited them to come along for the ride. This has enriched my life in countless ways, and enabled me to focus on beauty and promise, despite the constant barrage of frightening news. My senses are my biggest allies.

Facing Our Past, Moving Into the Future

Our ancient ancestors utilized their senses as a matter of course, and often relied on them for specific


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