The Baddies of Billiards
mother…” I’ll shut my mouth. 8. Caller (Neville Stevenson). If looks could kill, then Caller, the pierced, dreadlocked, bare-chested eight-ball opponent from the 2001 New Zealand film Stickmen, would be like walking genocide. Fortunately, his opponent Wayne is too blitzed out of his mind to notice and handily runs the table on Caller before he can make a shot.
After writing my previous post about “my friend Harvey” from The Honeymooners episode “The Bensonhurst Bomber” I started thinking further about the role intimidation plays in billiards. Certainly, a number of prominent players today have assumed nicknames that are intended to psych out their opponent to some degree. Consider: Thorsten “The Hitman” Hohmann, Tony “Silent Assassin” Robles, Evgeny “Assassin” Stalev, Allison “Duchess of Doom” Fisher, Florian “Venom” Kohler, and of course, Jeanette “Black Widow” Lee, who would “eat people alive” when she got to the table.
7. Eddie Davies (J.W. Smith). “Pool Hall Blus - September 4, 1954,” from the second season of Quantum Leap, is an insulting chapter of billiards television history. But, as far as reprobates go, Eddie Davies, the local loan shark, is high on the list. His scare tactics include sleazing all over the pool hall proprietor’s daughter, beating up an old man, and – far worse – directing his goon to snap in half the prized cue stick of Charlie “Black Magic” Walters.
6. 8-Ball (Jeff Hagees). OK, I admit it, this But, in billiards movies and television, intimidation villain has nothing to do and fearmongering extends well beyond violent with movies, but Marvel monikers. On and off the table, the villains of Comics’ misfit is too billiards pop culture are known to do everything perfect not to include from bullyragging and browbeating to terrorizing in this list. From his and murdering. It is in their honor then that I profile: “8-Ball wielded announce the TOP 10 BILLIARDS BADDIES OF a pool cue specially ALL TIME (and sorry, but my friend Harvey did not designed to magnify any make the cut). Let the countdown begin: force applied to it to more than a thousand-fold and 10. Third Eye Ryu. In the 1972 pinky violence transmit that force at anything it struck. He also film Wandering Ginza Butterfly, the recently- carried a variety of pool balls for throwing, some designed to act as grenades. He traveled aboard a paroled Nami must use giant hovering pool ball.” her billiards skills to prevent the local yakuza 5. Joe (Chazz Palminteri). Though Joe doesn’t from taking over a bar. actually play pool in the 2002 film Pool Hall Junkies, The fate of the bar lies in he is every bit hustler-gangster-thug, starting with a game of three-cushion the fact he ruins Johnny’s dream of playing pro billiards that Nami must billiards by throwing out the invitation. But, that’s play against the yakuza’s junkie tiddlywinks compared to his later nefarious acts, henchman, Third Eye Ryu. Behind including breaking Johnny’s finger, beating up mirrored glasses, the stone-faced Johnny’s brother, and trying to destroy Johnny’s pool shark is a formidable opponent reputation. Bad-ass quote: who exudes cold evil. “Take that you motherless motherfuckers.” 9. Frosty (Richard Roundtree). The song “The Baron” is not the only memorable remainder of the 1984 made-for-TV movie The 4. Natasha (Rebecca In the 1998 Baron and the Kid. To that list, we should also Downs). add the formidable, impeccably dressed in white, “Pool Sharks” episode Southern hustler Frosty, who doesn’t like to lose in of Monsters, we’re first pool. He proves particularly adept at intimidation introduced to Natasha as when he removes his jacket, showing a holstered just another buxom, blackgun, and when he corrals his opponents with his clad, pale-skinned vamp posse of rednecks. Roundtree always was a “bad with a flirtatious mien and Sneaky Pete Mafia Magazine - September 2014
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