Sport magazine - Issue 249

Issue 249 | March 23 2012

Hoy Story Sir Chris talks exclusively to Sport

REAL HEROES. REAL TACTICS. THIS IS NO GAME.

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ISSUE 249, MARCH 23 2012 Radar 07 The Cannibal New book charts the amazing career of Eddie Merckx

08 Arsene behind the scenes Wenger gives us a personal tour of the Emirates

10 The Old Firm A new documentary gets inside the biggest rivalry in football

12 Sustainable shades Now that spring is here, a collection of ethical sunnies oFeatures this coming week

18 Sir Chris Hoy

Cover image: Neale Haynes/Contour by Getty Images. This page: Lakruwan Wanniarachchi/AFP/Getty Images, Keystone/Getty Images

The Scottish cycling knight sits down with Sport and talks about, well, all sorts of things

29 Sir Bob Willis talks cricket

18

Okay, he’s not a Sir. But he should be, if you ask us

32 Sir Nani Joke running thin. But Nani – and his agent – speak very well

36 Champions League

29

Chelsea fly a lone English flag in the quarter finals

38 Hong Kong Sevens England coach Ben Ryan on the joy of sevens rugby

07

Extra Time 50 Kit

60

Cricket bats – how are those indoor nets going this year?

52 Heather Mitts She is a better footballer than you, we fear. No, we know

58 Entertainment

32

Including bacon and Jo Nesbo – both things we like, a lot

60 Gadgets Earphones – lots of them.

You need earphones, though | March 23 2012 | 05

p08 – Arsene Wenger takes us round the Emirates

Radar

p10 – Tiger’s back, at least in game form

Fast Eddy ith Mark Cavendish and Bradley Wiggins piquing British interest in cycling, now’s the perfect time for a meticulous and absorbing new biography on the ‘Pele of cycling’. No, not Lance Armstrong, but a legendary rider with over 300 more race wins than the Texan – Eddy Merckx. The Belgian was nicknamed ‘The Cannibal’ not because he snacked on his rivals as he overtook them, but because of his insatiable appetite for victory.

Ace cycling writer William Fotheringham’s book begins with a rather sweet story about the teen cannibal winning a local amateur race against the odds, despite being undersized and in the wrong gear. It goes on to chart Merckx’s ascent to being the most dominant cyclist in the sport: a versatile winner fuelled by obsessive passion and powerful sideburns.

It also covers horrific injuries and Tour deaths, all the while trying to get under the skin of what made this man so remorselessly driven. With a balance that means it will engross knownothings and aficionados alike, this superbly written book has put in a Merckx-like surge to being among the year’s best sporting titles.

Merckx: Half Man, Half Bike £16.99 (Yellow Jersey Press)

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Fine young cannibal: Merckx won five Tour de France titles | March 23 2012 | 07

Radar

Behind closed doors

What’s it really like inside the changing rooms of one of English football’s biggest teams? Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger welcomes us in and tells all

he changing room is not a space I do team talks in. I do them there at half time, but normally I do team talks in the hotel. In the dressing room you always have the kitman walking in and out or people wanting some information, so we get close together in the hotel room where we prepare the game – tactically and on the motivational side. In the dressing room, I consider it’s like going to a mass – once you go in there, sometimes, the manager has to leave the players alone because we all have our own way to prepare for a game.”

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RITUAL SUCCESS “Some players are very loud, some need to be very secretive, some retire completely to their music. They each escape a little bit because they have their habits. A player repeats all the little things that he has done the last time he has been successful, and that is different from everybody else.

I always feel it’s important not to disturb the player during that ritual. I have a lot of trust in the players. They want to do well, the players will push to do well. Those that do not have that, they never get to this level.

“When I am in the tunnel I get butterflies.

Yes, of course, there’s a moment when you prepare for the battle and that happens.

When you walk in the tunnel, that’s where we all have to be up for it. This is the moment of realisation that, now, my friend, it really starts. Now you have to show how strong you are. I would say that

this is the physical moment you get before the battle starts.”

CHANGING TIMES “It’s amazing how things have changed nowadays – the most being after the game.

You don’t have the same contact with the players any more. Media reasons, the man of the match – you cannot even celebrate together any more when you have a good result, because you miss two players who are out somewhere for an interview. Then also what has changed is that the players go to their cell phones to see the messages they have got from their families if they have done well.

“That is why I created the shower and the bath in the dressing room. The bath for it to be comfortable because that is a moment where you can enjoy, you can relax and you can exchange with the other players. Many times you see players staying a long time in the bath after a game and having a chat, in the shower or having a massage. That’s why you see these massive rooms we have; I wanted them to feel comfortable and have the desire to rest completely after the games, because you realise only later when you have stopped playing that they are privileged moments.”

Arsene Wenger was launching the club’s new audio tour, in which he and other Arsenal luminaries talk you round the Emirates. www.arsenal.com/tours

Mercurial talent hat a greedy pig Cristiano Ronaldo is.

Not content with scoring a mighty 50 goals for club and country so far this season, he’s already got his eyes on 2012-13, and the footwear he’s helped to develop that will take him to dizzying new tallies. That boot is the Nike Mercurial Vapor VIII – and it’s been redeveloped in several crucial areas.

A sleeker, closer feel is achieved by a special toe-box reinforcer, while sharper blades cut through the turf for instant changes in direction. Crucial for CR7 when he’s jinking past defenders, and key for you when you need traction on rock-hard winter pitches. It’s also stronger and lighter than ever at 185g – and comes in a striking bright mango (the boot, not Cristiano). Perfection.

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08 | March 23 2012 |

Stuart MacFarlane/Arsenal FC via Getty Images

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Radar

Love to loathe you

Big

new documentary, Rivals: Rangers & Celtic, takes a fresh look at Glasgow’s age-old football divide in the light of the recent bill criminalising sectarian abuse at matches. This involves a trip for one plucky reporter to the city to interview former football hooligans, fanzine writers and other fans whose definition of the term ‘banter’ seems to stretch to some fairly abhorrent behaviour.

You could point out that if you talk to extremists, you will get extreme views – but there’s also a humour and passion to many of the subjects here, as they talk of how these famous old clubs provide a bond to their own culture and past. The doc’s strongest suit is in questioning whether the law-makers have a right to put their foot down on something that’s been part of working-class Glaswegian life for many generations. Are they dictating how people live their lives, or is the bill protecting a ‘silent majority’ from abuse?

Thought-provoking without trying to supply all the answers, the only thing you can guarantee is that any Rangers or Celtic fan who watches this documentary will probably claim it’s biased against their club.

Rivals: Rangers & Celtic premieres in full on vice.com from today

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he king of golf games returns next Friday, with several new developments – the main one they’re pushing being the Xbox Kinect capabilities that allow you to take all of your shots controllerfree. However, it’s two other features that are getting our plaid golf pants in a twist. Namely:

Big swinger

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Total swing control Swing tempo, stance, selecting where to strike the ball: the shot control is now firmly in your hands. So, off the tee, you can try a Bubba Watson blast, an Ernie Els-style sweep or your own monstrous combination of the above.

You now choose exactly how the big dog eats.

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 13, March 30 (PS3/Xbox)

10 | March 23 2012 |

Stu Forster/Allsport

Experience Tiger’s legacy Match the great player’s achievements (the golfing ones) by recreating his best moments.

You start as a teeny Tiger cub doing chip shots into a paddling pool in the back yard, moving on to the challenge of creating your very own ‘Tiger Slam’, plus much more besides.

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Radar

Scrum on down id you struggle for tickets to the Six Nations? Well, we’ve got a solution for the future – get your kid into rugby, then nag him for tickets when he makes it big. And Super Skills Travel can help.

That’s because the company, founded by rugby legends Will Greenwood and Austin Healey, offers a week of coaching for your kid in Sardinia, and all while you relax in the sun. With welcome drinks, accommodation, a full set of kit and two hours of coaching every day from a genuine rugby icon, it’s all you could need to get your boy started on the road to freebi… er, the road to success.

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Relax on holiday: while Austin Healey takes your offspring down

Radar Editor’s letter Fired: Villas-Boas’ sacking has ignited Chelsea, while Wolves seem all burned out www.sport-magazine.co.uk @sportmaguk facebook.com/sportmaguk

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EDITORIAL Editor-in-chief: Simon Caney (7951) Deputy editor: Tony Hodson (7954) Associate editor: Nick Harper (7897) Art editor: John Mahood (7860) Deputy art editor: William Jack (7861) Subeditor: Graham Willgoss (7431) Senior writers: Sarah Shephard (7958), Alex Reid (7915) Staff writers: Mark Coughlan (7901), Amit Katwala (7914) Picture editor: Julian Wait (7961) Production manager: Tara Dixon (7963)

COMMERCIAL

A tale of two sackings McCarthy and Villas-Boas highlight what can happen when the boss gets the push

Editor-in-chief Simon Caney @simoncaney

happening around them. Suddenly Wolves, who had a decent fighting chance of staying up, appear doomed.

Over at Chelsea, there has been a remarkable transformation. Can this all be down to the man-management genius of Roberto Di Matteo? As popular as he is, that would seem unlikely. Yet suddenly, players who seemed leaden-footed (and indeed seriously injured) just a few weeks ago are now bouncing around the pitch like spring lambs. They’ve even managed to get Fernando Torres on the scoresheet, which says it all.

Nobody thinks Villas-Boas is a bad manager, but what’s clear is that he had lost the dressing room – and Chelsea is one place where you simply cannot do that and survive. Is that correct, though?

Chelsea fans may be delighted at their team’s resurgence. But they also have the right to feel a little cheated.

By all accounts, the RFU will appoint England’s full-time coach next week.

I said on this page a few weeks ago that Stuart Lancaster should get the job full time – and since then, I have become even more convinced. Nick Mallett, his rival for the position, is wonderfully qualified, but Lancaster has displayed perfectly why he is the man for the job.

I’d also counsel (not that they’re listening to me) against appointing the two men jointly – that way a lot of heartache and confusion lies.

Finally, apologies to any new users of the Sport iPad app, or if you have just updated it – there have been some download problems this week, for which we apologise. We’re working hard to get things fixed and hopefully you’ll be able to find us – alive and well and working properly – on the Apple Newsstand shortly.

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Hearty thanks this week to: Nuala O’Neill, Nicky Higgs and Kayak Attack for the MASSIVE cake. Ta Total Average Distribution: 304,700 Jul-Dec 2011

Reader comments of the week Plastic Brits: WG Grace took an England side to Australia, with a Scottish batsman called Gregor McGregor and an Indian player with such a long name I’m frightened just to try to spell it.

When people don’t want to compete for Britain, the Mail accuses them of a lack of patriotism – and when people do want to, it still angers them. But you covered the arguments perfectly without taking sides.

Howard, via email

Mick, via email

14 | March 23 2012 |

@simoncaney athletes shouldn’t be restricted to their country of birth but once they’ve competed for one nation, no swapping! #plasticbrits

Great piece in @sportmaguk today on A Plastic Argument with @simoncaney. Totally agree with you Sir. The argument is pointless & uneducated

@Sykesy_Katie Twitter

@MsBennyBonsu Twitter

If someone’s not born here and is of another nationality, they shouldn’t compete for Britain. It’s pretty simple.

LAUNCH OF THE YEAR

2008

Don’t forget: Help keep public transport clean and tidy for everyone by taking your copy of Sport away with you when you leave the bus or train.

Alan, via email

Agree or disagree? Tweet us @sportmaguk

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as any managerial sacking in history been quite so disastrous as that of Mick McCarthy? And has any managerial sacking in history galvanised a team quite like that of Andre Villas-Boas?

Let’s look at Wolves first. I have some sympathy with the club – some fans I know were saying that McCarthy’s time was up.

When he was sacked, the team was at the top of a bottom five, cut adrift from the rest of the Premier League.

But just getting rid of the boss does not in itself make any difference. The same regime is in charge, just without the man who was at the helm. Poor Terry Connor is clearly a good football man, but he seems out of his depth and clearly not right for the job. Roger Johnson’s training ground misdemeanour sums up what can go wrong if players don’t respect what’s

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Radar Frozen in time

Dominic Lipinski /WPA Pool/Getty Images

Lights out So far it’s cost Great Britain around £11bn to prepare for this summer’s Olympic Games – and, while there’s been a little angst about just how much Stratford really needed a velodrome, the taxpayer can rest easy knowing that barely a single penny has been spent on the Olympic apartments. Two beds, two bedside cabinets, two small lamps and half a curtain, with views out on to a grim swamp – this sleeps at least 12 and would be dismissed as inhumane by any right-thinking jailbird. Clearly Lord Coe plans to bore his athletes to sleep early every night, or someone ballsed up on the budget.

16 | March 23 2012 |

| 17

Bryn Lennon/Getty Images

Sir Chris Hoy

18 | March 23 2012 |

THE CYCLING KNIGHT In an exclusive interview with Sport, the nation’s most decorated track cyclist looks back on his first taste of the Olympic Velodrome, looks ahead to a massive six months of competition, and reflects on life as a highprofile member of the sporting nobility > | 19

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chilly but bright Monday afternoon in late February, and Sir Chris Hoy is sitting down.

He looks comfortable enough, chatting away with the small group of people around him and sipping from a nearby glass of water, but something doesn’t feel quite right. And then it hits home: Sir Chris Hoy is sitting down.

It’s a pose few of us associate with our sporting elite – not least a man who has spent a decade and more powering round the velodromes of the world on two wheels.

In our minds, Hoy gets off his bike for only one reason: not to eat or to sleep, but to stand atop a podium for a few minutes, while some dignitary or other delivers his latest gold medal. Sitting down simply isn’t part of the schedule.

But then the great Scot describes a typical day of competition at the apogee of world cycling, and we’re forced to reconsider. “You each have your own little territory,” he says. “It’s funny, because you arrive into the pen and each team has its own zone. It’s like being in a British embassy in a foreign land, I guess. This is your spot; no matter where you are in the world, that pen is your pen, and within that you have your seat. And that is your spot for the whole weekend; it’s where you’ll put your shoes on, put your helmet on, sit down and lock yourself into your own little world. You put your headphones on and start visualising how you want each race to unfold.”

Sport is speaking to Hoy in the wake of a successful World Cup weekend at London’s Olympic Velodrome, during which he took gold in the keirin and, crucially, the individual sprint. The routine of competition is still forensically fresh in his mind... or is it that, after so long at the top, he just can’t forget?

“There is so much going on around you: the big screen, entertainment in the arena, a board with all the race times and, of course, the racing itself,” he continues.

“There are two things you always worry about and need to focus on, though – one is your next race, and the other is the timing of your days. You spend the whole weekend breaking it down into little 15 or 20-minute chunks. You take one chunk after the other, have some food here, go to the loo there… it really does become quite draining.”

You would expect such a process to become easier with experience, but Hoy – who won his first major medal at the 1999

World Championships in Berlin, and turns 36 today – corrects us on that score as well.

“No, it’s really tough, particularly when you’re doing three days in a row,” he admits with disarming honesty. “You get to the end of the second day, and you’ve gone through dope control, had press conferences, got home quite late. You try to switch off and get to sleep, but you might be awake to 1am, 2am, even three in the morning, and then you’re up again at 7am and you’ve got start it all over again. Come day three, there are guys there who maybe haven’t raced yet and are fresh. These guys are peaking for one event… this is their big moment, and you’ve already had two long days in the velodrome.

It can be very tough.”

HOME COMFORTS Hoy pauses for another sip of water, perhaps stealing a moment in which to reflect on just why he committed himself to four more years of such intense training and competition after leaving Beijing as a 32-year-old with four Olympic gold medals to his name. A moment is seemingly all he needs, however – for as much as the itinerary of international cycling grinds him down, the prospect of riding at his home Games builds him right back up again.

“The atmosphere in the Olympic Velodrome is phenomenal,” says the Scot, who acted as the cyclists’ representative on the panel that selected Hopkins Architects to design it.

“When you see the artists’ impressions of what they were suggesting, you try and read between the lines a bit, to picture what it might really look like – but when we saw the completed project it was virtually the same.

It looks stunning. The interior, the track, the natural light… everything about it, everything we asked for, is in there.

“And to ride in? You just hear this volume – this roar – more than any other race I’ve ever been to. Six thousand is a huge capacity for a velodrome; until now, I think Manchester has been the biggest experience I’ve had in terms of a crowd really getting into it, but this is almost twice the capacity. The crowd and the noise in London were at the same intensity as Manchester, which amounts to almost twice the volume – and it was with us all the way. It was incredible.”

A stellar line-up of British cyclists gave, in the main, a succession of displays worthy of the support they received at last month’s World Cup meeting. Victoria Pendleton and

“I FEEL AS THOUGH I’M IN THE BEST SHAPE I’VE BEEN IN SINCE BEIJING”

20 | March 23 2012 |

Number of medals Sir Chris Hoy has taken home from the Track Cycling World Championships, more than half of which (12) have come in the team sprint. The total includes 10 gold, eight silver and five bronze

Jess Varnish set a new world best in the women’s team sprint, but it was inevitably Hoy who made the biggest headlines. After an encouraging bronze alongside Jason Kenny and Ross Edgar in the team sprint, he produced a near-miracle to steal keirin gold before giving something of a masterclass in the individual sprint. Gold in the latter was particularly satisfying.

“You can never think about any one event more than the others in your preparations, but looking back at the three events I think the sprint was the most pleasing,” he reflects on a weekend that doubled up as the official Olympic Test Event for track cycling. “I’ve been struggling with the tactics a little bit, and while I’ve won keirin races since Beijing, I’d only won one or two World Cup races in the sprint. It’s nice to start rediscovering some form in it, and I actually feel like it’s the best shape I’ve been in since Beijing. It’s great to time it right in terms of it being an Olympic year, but it was even more important that I – and the whole team – performed on the Olympic track. That’s really, really pleasing.” >

Bryn Lennon/Getty Images

Sir Chris Hoy

Sir Chris Hoy

Believe in Britain

From start to finish From track to road From grassroots to the podium We’re behind cycling all the way Read more at skysports.com/believeinbritain

Sir Chris Hoy KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE…

22 | March 23 2012 |

“ON THE TRACK, YOU’RE BATTLING EACH OTHER VIRTUALLY TO THE DEATH”

WORLDS AWAY Whether or not the rules change again beyond London 2012 is irrelevant to Hoy, for whom this year’s Games represents an Olympic swansong. His sole focus is on ensuring he takes his place in both the keirin and the individual sprint this summer, but knows Kenny won’t give up without a fight – and the upcoming World Championships, which begin on April 4 in Melbourne, give the younger man an ideal stage on which to re-audition for that sprint role.

“We originally thought the worlds would be the main selecting event, but I think they’re going to have to look at the whole season,” says Hoy, well aware of how persuasive his recent win in the Olympic Velodrome may prove.

“In some ways, it’s nice for the selectors, because they know no matter who they pick they’re going to be well represented; but it will be very difficult to leave out either one of us, or even Matt Crampton. We’ve always known it would be like this though; as soon as they announced the ruling we accepted it, and other countries have it just as bad. The French, the Germans, the Aussies… it’s tough for everybody.”

He may not be saying that when Eric the Eel rocks up on his pushbike for round one, stabilisers at the ready, but there’s no doubting the potential importance of next month’s trip to Melbourne. “A great city, with great coffee,” says Hoy, but what of the cycling – what would he consider a successful championships?

“I think objective progression in terms of data,” comes the initially underwhelming response. “We have very, very sophisticated instruments to measure power input, torque, speed, cadence… all these things. >

Bryn Lennon/Getty Images

Hoy is inevitably seen as the father figure of an elite cycling squad that has been meticulously developed by performance director Dave Brailsford and head coach Shane Sutton over years rather than months.

As such, his dedication to the idea of the team, while both sincere and admirable, is to be expected.

He remains a lone wolf at heart, however – and his overt satisfaction at that recent sprint gold is rooted in the knowledge that, should he let his standards slip, he may not get to defend his Olympic title in London.

Changes to the rules in the aftermath of Team GB’s dominant displays in Beijing stipulate that each nation can enter only one competitor in any of the individual track-cycling events for 2012; and the aforementioned Kenny is not just Hoy’s regular roommate – he’s also the defending world sprint champion.

“They tend to put us in together, because if you’re riding all the same events then you’re probably getting up at the same time every morning,” smiles Hoy. “But neither of us waste any energy worrying about what the other one is doing. We’re teammates and we’re good friends, but once you draw each other in a race and you go head to head, then it all changes. As soon as you step on to that track, you’re battling each other virtually to the death.

“Apart from that, though, we’re good friends. Jason’s only 23, 24... but he’s very mature and has an old head on young shoulders. He’s a good lad and we get on well; and if one of us has had a bad race, the other one knows exactly how it feels. So I know he’ll have been disappointed with his sprint yesterday [Kenny lost to Germany’s Max Levy in the quarter finals of the test event]. It wasn’t a bad ride, and no one was missing; everybody who is anybody in sprinting was there at that event, so to come in fifth out of 60 or 70 starters was still a fantastic result. But it’s not what he wanted.”

Nor was a silver medal what the then 20-year-old Kenny wanted in Beijing, when on reaching the Olympic sprint final he found Hoy – exactly 12 years his senior, the pair share the same birthday – in unforgiving mood. But the chance to compete for such a medal is better than the exclusion one of them will face in London this summer – something about which Hoy feels strongly.

“It’s such a shame, because the one-riderper-nation rule means there are going to be genuinely world-class riders missing out on the chance to compete at the Olympic Games,” he argues. “You wouldn’t want to see the men’s 100m final with only one Jamaican guy or one American in it. You want to see the fastest eight men in the world, and if they’re all from the same country then so be it. It’s the same with distance running, where you have the Kenyans and Ethiopians.

You want to see the best of the best, and I think it should be the same in cycling.”

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It sounds a bit clinical, I know, but this is the way you can genuinely measure performance. Yes, the most obvious way to measure progression is in gold medals, but that can be misleading sometimes. So I want to see improvements in my top speed, my time trial for the sprint, and the team sprint is very quantifiable as well.

“Then in the keirin and the sprint, I want to see an improvement in tactics, fewer mistakes… ideally no mistakes. If I can do all that, then I’m going to be very close to winning medals, and perhaps even gold.”

Clinical indeed, but Hoy’s single-minded, scientific approach to his own levels of performance betrays a common theme running through the psychology of elite athletes across a number of individual sports: focus less on beating others, and more on beating yourself.

“Well that’s all you can worry about,” says Hoy. “As soon as you think about other people or medals, then you lose an element of control. You can’t control beating a rival; you can win a race below your best form one day, and the next get beaten in the form of your life. But you can’t be upset about that; you just have to shake the other guy’s hand and say the better man won. You can’t win them all – that’s life. But what you can do is make sure you go into a race in the best shape of your life.”

24 | March 23 2012 |

QUEALLY GOOD Such is the mentality coursing through the veins of every medal-winner to come out of the British cycling scene in recent years, on the track and off. The sport has come a long way since the days of Chris Boardman and Graeme Obree, lone rangers who as good as designed and made their own machines… but has the boom occurred by chance, or can the progression be traced back to one definitive turning point? Hoy is unequivocal.

“Sydney 2000, when Jason Queally won his gold medal [in the now defunct 1km time trial],” he says. “Up until that point, it had always been guys like Chris or Graeme, individuals with amazing talent who had done it with their own people. It wasn’t a federation thing, whereas Jason had come on board in about 1995, pretty much straight from uni. He timed it right in the same way as I did with the lottery funding, but we watched him come in with a lot of talent, put in a lot of hard work and then do it [at the Olympics].

Seconds taken by Hoy to ride 500m from a flying start in La Paz, Bolivia, in May 2007.

In doing so, he broke the previous record, held by Frenchman Arnaud Duble, by more than a second

“It’s the same in any walk of life – you raise the bar and the rest follow. And that’s what Jason did in 2000. He made us believe that if he could do it, then we could do it too.

He inspired me, and I’m sure he inspired a lot of other guys too.”

Queally’s success was the first visible tip of a British cycling iceberg that has since taken down any number of supposedly invincible vessels from overseas. Hoy and Pendleton remain the chief destroyers on the track, Bradley Wiggins and Mark Cavendish off it, but the Scot reserves special mention for those behind the scenes – and one man in particular.

“I would say [head coach] Shane Sutton is probably the single most important person in the whole building – more than any rider, member of staff, anybody,” he insists.

“He’s this force of nature, really, like a cross between Mick Dundee and the coach in Rocky, you know? He’s larger than life, has so much energy, and every single person on the team, whether mountain-biker, BMXer, road racer or track cyclist… well, no matter what you do, he’ll be right there, aware of your programme and everything you’re doing. I don’t know how he does it.

“When he’s on your case, though, he’s the worst person… you can be coming to blows, virtually, but at the end of it you’ll often step back and say he was right, that he was only >

Bryn Lennon/Getty Images

Sir Chris Hoy

Sir Chris Hoy

“ANY ATHLETE WHO SAYS THEY ARE 100 PER CENT CONFIDENT IS LYING”

HIGHS AND LOWS Hoy is a generous, engaging character who pays careful attention to ensuring everyone behind his immense personal success (not to mention immense personal frame) receives due credit. That includes the highly respected team psychologist Steve Peters, although Hoy denies experiencing the ‘dark forces’ that Pendleton in particular admits to having been plagued by in recent times.

“I think any athlete who tells you they’re always 100 per cent confident in their performances is lying,” he concedes.

“Athletes are probably among the most insecure people around, much as they may sometimes appear superhuman. Everybody has ups and downs, but I think it’s more about how the individual perceives pressure.

“When you’re going well, and you have confidence and momentum, you can almost do no wrong; it’s when things aren’t going quite so well, when perhaps you start questioning your ability – that’s when it’s difficult. But that’s life, and with experience you learn not to get carried away with the highs, in the same way you can’t worry too much about the lows. No matter how good you were yesterday, there will always be

26 | March 23 2012 |

Hoy is one of only three cyclists to win the BBC Sports Personality of the Year award, doing so (as you’d expect) in 2008. The other two?

Tom Simpson (1965) and Mark Cavendish (2011), although Beryl Burton (look her up) came second to Henry Cooper in 1967

someone chasing you tomorrow… you can’t get caught up in your own press.”

Which brings us on to Hoy’s fellow Olympian Tom Daley, who recently came under fire from his own performance director Alexei Evangulov for doing too much media work. How impressed the latter would have been at Daley’s recent announcement as the face of adidas Body Care is up for debate, but the marketable young diver is far from alone. After Beijing, Hoy himself enjoyed a high-profile campaign as the face of Bran Flakes, while we are speaking to him in his latest role as an ambassador for Gillette.

The question is, can an athlete go too far?

“It’s very difficult for someone like Tom, who shot into the public eye at the last Olympics and then became a world champion,” says Hoy. “He’s now one of our highest-profile athletes, and with that you get so many opportunities. You suddenly get to stay in nice hotels, go on the red carpet, meet actors and musicians, and it’s like wow, brilliant! Sometimes maybe training can be a little compromised, but with sponsorships you do want to capitalise financially and make some money when you can. You don’t know how long it’s going to last; you could be in the public eye for two years or 12, but there’s no

security – so it’s easy to think you should make hay while the sun shines.

“I struggled with it a bit after Beijing, just the amount of requests and things that I wanted to do, but I always had the desire to continue on to London. The important thing for me, Tom or any athlete, is to pick and choose the things you really want to do.

You never want to come back from doing something and feel it was a waste of a day.”

Time will tell how Hoy looks back on his afternoon with Sport, but we couldn’t leave without asking the nation’s favourite biker whether, at the age of 36, it still feels odd being referred to as ‘Sir Chris’.

“It’s still very, very strange,” he smiles.

“It’s such a huge honour, and you are reminded of it every day when you get mail with ‘Sir’ written in front of your name, but I don’t think you realise how big it is until you go abroad. You go overseas and all the press are like: ‘Oh, there goes the cycling knight!’

And they’re all so excited to meet you and ask you about it. It’s great for the sport when you turn up for a press conference and there are hundreds of people outside a velodrome to see you – but it is still weird going to a foreign country and having so many people know who you are.”

Tony Hodson @tonyhodson1 Sir Chris Hoy is a Gillette ambassador. Gillette’s ‘Great Start’ campaign celebrates great coaches and inspires the next generation by encouraging men to get into coaching.

Visit facebook.com/GilletteUK

Bryn Lennon/Getty Images

getting at me because he was trying to help me improve. Everything he does is to try and help you, but he doesn’t pull any punches.

He’s very, very clear and never sugarcoats anything. You always know where you stand with Shane, but he’ll fight to the death for you.

A strong character, and a fantastic coach.”

Srito Lanka 299 Days go v England

Subcontinent struggles England’s batsmen struggled badly against Pakistan. How much was that down to their own poor form, and how much down to Pakistan’s bowlers and conditions?

“Mostly it was down to the Pakistan bowlers, Saeed Ajmal in particular. But, as Andy Flower admitted at the end of the Test series, the England preparation wasn’t ideal. I think we can tell by the seriousness with which they took on their first warm-up match in Sri Lanka, that they won’t be making that mistake again. Also, I don’t think Sri Lanka have a mystery spinner like Ajmal, so the England batsmen will fare a lot better.”

Who will be most dangerous of the Sri Lankan bowlers?

“Rangana Herath has been the leading spinner of recent times, but when you lose Chaminda Vaas, Lasith Malinga and Murali, that’s a lot of Test wickets to try and replace.

With the best will in the world, I don’t think Sri Lanka have been able to do that. They are much stronger in batting than bowling.”

You’ve played in the subcontinent before, how much of a challenge is it?

“It’s very difficult and England’s results over the years have proved this. They’ve gone to South Africa and won, they’ve gone to Australia and won, but it’s over a decade since they won a series in the subcontinent.

Also, the World Cups held there have been an out-and-out embarrassment for England.”

What makes playing in Sri Lanka so tough?

“Fierce heat and humidity. They’re obviously getting acclimatised to that now, but it doesn’t matter how much acclimatisation you do, they’re still the most demanding conditions to play cricket in the world.”

So what’s the key to England succeeding?

“The cricket can be more attritional, so we’ll need all of Andrew Strauss, Alastair Cook and Jonathan Trott’s concentration to give England a good start. It was a chastening experience against Pakistan, so I think they will be doubly focused to put that right.”

Which England players really are under the spotlight to perform in these games?

“Kevin Pietersen regained some form in the one-day matches, so I don’t think that the spotlight will be as fierce on him as it might have been. Ian Bell had a dreadful time, so I suppose if there was a tumbrel setting off to the guillotine, he’d be the next passenger. But then it’s less than 12 months since he was scoring huge hundreds for England, so the selectors won’t cast him off lightly. He will need a better performance, though. It was just surprising that he couldn’t pick Ajmal at all. He’ll need to do better against the more orthodox spin bowlers in Galle and Colombo.”

How much pressure is there on Andrew Strauss to start scoring runs?

“A little bit of pressure, but I think he’s almost got a Mike Brearley air about him as an astute captain. They will give him the longest possible time of lean scores before they think about changing. Alastair Cook is the heir apparent and I thought it was a big mistake for Strauss to retire from one-day cricket, as it’s only a year ago that he was outbatting Sachin Tendulkar in that amazing tied match in Bengalooru.

Also, there’s so much one-day and Twenty20 cricket now that he’ll go for long periods without playing any meaningful England matches. I think it’s a disadvantage.” >

| March 23 2012 | 29

Gareth Copley/Getty Images,

England fast-bowling legend and Sky Sports analyst Bob Willis tells us about the challenges Andrew Strauss and his team face in two Test matches against Sri Lanka in the world’s most draining conditions

Sri Lanka v England

Lakruwan Wanniarachchi/AFP/Getty Images

‘THE SRI LANKAN BATTING IS PROBABLY AS POWERFUL AS ANY TOP SIX IN WORLD CRICKET RIGHT NOW’

What changes do you think we’ll see to the England team for this series?

“I would have thought that it will be one straight swap – Ravi Bopara in for Eoin Morgan – and the same bowling attack of James Anderson, Stuart Broad and the two spinners. That’s very tough on Steven Finn, who really is bowling at the top of his capabilities at the moment. It won’t be long before he’s back in the Test side, perhaps even in front of Tim Bresnan and a fit Chris Tremlett.”

Who’s the key Sri Lankan wicket those England bowlers will be aiming for?

“Kumar Sangakkara [pictured] is their most gifted player. Although, without the captaincy responsibilities, you can expect Tillakaratne Dilshan to get back to form. Clearly Mahela Jayawardene and Thilan Samaraweera are top-quality players as well.”

Yikes. Any chinks in the armour for our bowling attack to exploit?

“They’ve always struggled for an effective opening partner for Dilshan, so that’s generally a weakness. However, you go down the order and the batting is probably as powerful as any top six in world cricket right now.”

You can see Sri Lanka posting some big scores in these games, then?

“Well, they were completely taken apart by England’s seamers when they were last on tour, but the conditions couldn’t be more different than the cold and damp conditions at Cardiff, Lord’s and the Rose Bowl. So, yes, I’d expect at least three of their top six to fire in both games. England will need to respond to that challenge.”

Overall, how do you see the two Test matches progressing?

“England’s best chance is to win at Galle and draw in Colombo. It’s been a while since England have played on these grounds, so you don’t know how they’re going to behave, but Galle historically spins more. However, you can’t emphasise enough the draining conditions that England will be performing in.”

Alex Reid @otheralexreid

Sri Lanka V England 1st Test, Galle Monday March 26 Sky Sports 1 5am 2nd Test, Colombo Tuesday April 3 Sky Sports 1 5.30am

Bob Willis was speaking ahead of England’s Is the balance of stronger batting/weaker tour to Sri Lanka and an unrivalled summer of bowling opposition a good match-up for live cricket, with domestic, international and England, though, seeing as England’s bowling attack looks like their stronger suit? women’s matches live on Sky Sports HD “Yes, but everything combined superbly in Australia – batting and bowling – with Cook and Trott scoring all those runs and other people chipping in as well. But clearly the Lost 2 Won 1 bowling of Anderson, Tremlett, Bresnan, Lost 9 Won 15 Finn and Graeme Swann in Australia was Drawn 9 Drawn 7 fantastic – and Anderson, Broad, Panesar and, to a lesser extent, Swann carried that on in the Emirates. However, we just have to keep our fingers crossed that the batting can improve, because I don’t think the bowlers have anything to prove at all. As we saw in this first warm-up game in Sri Lanka: England's Test record in the subcontinent The struggle with subcontinent conditions is to bowl a side out twice in those conditions against India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka shown by England’s Test record against that so quickly bodes very well indeed.”

Divided decade

(combined) over the past 10 years. Gulp.

trio on British soil over the same period.

| March 23 2012 | 31

Nani

On a wing and a prayer with nine league games to go and tension in Manchester ratcheting up, Sport talks to nani about his team’s title runin with the noisy neighbours, that statue and befriending Mike Tyson – with a little help from an unexpected source

32 | March 23 2012 |

So, should we call you Luis or Nani?

“Nani is fine.” [“It’s Nar-ni,” says the agent, laughing. “It’s Nar-ni, not Nanni. You always get it wrong.”]

Who does? I do?

[The agent: “Everyone in England, you say Nanni, but it should be Nar-ni – it should be softer.”]

Well, apologies for that. Luis, is it fair to say that Manchester United are now favourites for the title race?

“I guess, erm, I think both teams are still the favourites. We are both still going for the title and we have to see because there are still games to go and I still feel that it will go right to the last day of the season.”

But United have the lead and what looks to be the far easier run-in. Do you look at City’s fixtures and look at where you think they might drop points?

“Yeah, we think about this, but sometimes it is not where you think they might drop them. They have some difficult games coming, but so do we. We have to be focused on what we have to do – we have to think about winning those games.

We don’t want to slip up, but you never know in this league.”

You say you think it will go to the final game, but the whole season could well hinge on the derby game at the Etihad on April 30.

[The agent laughs; Nani exhales loudly with a smile on his face] “It’s very, very difficult to go there with so much to play for, but if you want to win the title then you have to believe you can go anywhere and and win – and we have to believe we can do that, otherwise you have no chance. Do I believe we can go there and win? Yes, because it’s on the fixture list in black and white, so we have to believe we can win. Otherwise, well, what would be the point?”

Do you enjoy derby games, or is there too much pressure for that?

“Yes, I feel I can enjoy all the games against City because there is a good atmosphere and for the players that gives you more motivation. You want to play, you want to feel it and you want to win, so yes – there is pressure, but for me it’s nice.”

For much of your time at United you’ve been up against Chelsea in the title race. Is it more or less enjoyable to be up against a team from your own city?

“I think it’s maybe a bit harder, because I think you feel more close, and of course we don’t want them to win the title. To lose it would be very bad, but to lose it to the other team from the city? No. Not good.”

Do you encounter many City fans in your day-to-day life? And are they as noisy as your manager claims?

“Do I see any? [“No!” laughs his agent.] No. I barely see any of them. I hear they have more fans in the city, but I haven’t seen many of them.”

How would you evaluate your own form this season?

“I think I did well since the start of the season, playing good football, scoring goals, assists, doing good – but it went a bit down when I got my foot injury [against Arsenal] and it takes time to recover and get back to where you were. But I am getting there. I want to finish the season as well as I started it.”

Has Alex Ferguson demanded more goals from you? You’re 11 in 40 this season, one less than in 54 games last season...

“Of course, he asks to score more goals and give more assists – we all want that if it helps us win the title. But the most important thing if you give a choice: win the title or score more goals, I would say win title.”

John Peters/Man Utd via Getty Images

H

ere are six words we never expected to type: thank god for the football agent. Now this is not an easy claim to stand up, we admit, and we have extensive first-hand experience of football’s Mr Fifteen Percenters being among the most obnoxious cabal of characters you could ever hope not to meet – slick shysters leeching their livelihoods from moneyed young men and making estate agents and City bankers seem like walking saints.

It’s no exaggeration to say that the reason you will rarely hear an interesting word from a footballer is not because they have nothing interesting to say (although that is, for a large number of them, true), but because as soon as they attempt to engage their brain, the agent has a quiet word and, at the end of the day, y’know, normality is, if you like, resumed.

But thankfully, every so often, along comes an agent who gives their trade a good name.

We found one just last week in Manchester, sitting on the shoulder (not literally) of Luis Carlos Almeida da Cunha, better known as Nani, the Manchester United winger.

Most agents go out of their way to censor their clients and encourage them to keep their answers brief and disingenuous.

But not Nani’s. Not Barbara Vara.

She took the opposite approach, poking the player until he said something worth writing down and revealing more than the giant narcissist (all will become clear) might have ordinarily wanted. It started with a handshake and an easy opener...

Because you recognise it’s a team game?

“Yes. No, no, no. Because when I go to my house and I go inside my trophy room, I see my... player... me...” [Struggling to find the correct word in English, Nani starts talking Portuguese to the agent. Laughing, she suggests: “It is a statue, a little Nani, you know?”] >

| 33

Nani

‘MY STATUE IS ONLY SMALL – IT IS WHERE I PUT MY MEDALS, TO HANG AROUND HIS NECK, TO HAVE ON SHOW’

Ah, the statue. We thought this was an urban myth. Is it really in the middle of your living room?

“Yes, but it is only small.” [The agent interrupts: “It is quite big though – not quite lifesize, but big.”] “It is not so big.”

Matthew Peters/Man Utd via Getty Images, Mark Robinsn/MDR Photography

And it’s marble?

“Yes. It is where I put my medals, around his neck, to have on show. So, to be able to add another title, that would be beautiful.”

We can only imagine it would be. So what happened in the Champions League this season – why did United go out so early?

“I don’t know. We had many changes, some players were not in the right rhythm and we had many chances to win games, but we didn’t. We let them come back. It is something that is difficult to explain.”

Did United not take it seriously, as the Basel midfielder Xherdan Shaqiri suggested?

“No. We always take it seriously, but they did well – you have to give them credit. But we missed some unbelievable chances, and you cannot afford that in the Champions League.”

The Europa League had to be a comedown after the glamour of the Champions League?

“No, it’s a good competition. It doesn’t matter what the competition is – it’s an opportunity we needed to take. I wanted another medal.”

34 | March 23 2012 |

To hang on little Nani?

“Of course.” [The agent is laughing.]

Looking further ahead, what are your hopes for the Euros? Can Portugal win the tournament?

“It will be difficult, but it’s not impossible.

We need to come through the first group, which is very, very difficult. After that, who knows? But we have opportunity because we have a good team. If we work well, work hard for each other, then maybe.”

What do you make of England and their chances in the summer?

[The agent giggles, tellingly.] “I don’t know who England play because I didn’t see the last game they played against, who was it?

Holland? So I don’t know who is playing.”

Nobody seems to know. That’s the problem.

“Which teams are in England’s group? France, Sweden, Ukraine? I can see France and England qualifying. You have to think about if the team is together, if they are playing well, and you can only think about the group.”

According to your Twitter account, you play the piano, like eating fruit and enjoy the music of Usher. More newsworthy though – you seem to be friends with Mike Tyson?

“Me? [Nani seems very puzzled, until the agent steps in to explain that they look

after his Twitter account for him and often befriend other celebrities as a form of networking] “I do not know Mike Tyson personally, but he tweeted me and I tweeted him back.

He asked me for a favour.”

And it’s hard to say no when someone like Mike Tyson asks you for a favour?

“Well he is a big man, yes.”

And with that, Nani and the agent both laugh, and she stands to indicate our time is up. So we stand also, say “thank you for your time, Nani” (still pronounced Nanni), and shake his hand again. And we thank the agent too, and warmly shake her by the hand – because, frankly, she deserves it.

Nick Harper Nani appears in EA SPORTS FIFA Street, out now on Playstation 3 and Xbox 360. Order at amazon.co.uk or visit youtube.com/easports football and facebook.com/easportsfifa for more information

Champions League The Quarter Finals

Drawn and quartered Benfica V Chelsea TUESDAY 7.45PM, SKY SPORTS 2 The quarter finals of the Champions League have become as familiar to Chelsea’s players as their teammates’ girlfriends and FA hearings, but it looked like they wouldn’t be making it this year after their 3-1 defeat in Naples. However, the Blues look revitalised under Roberto Di Matteo, and a gargantuan effort over 120 minutes from their demarginalised veterans saw them through. Now they face the Portuguese league runners-up. Twice former European Cup winners, Benfica are no longer continental giants, but they do carry a significant attacking threat, as they showed against Manchester United in the group stage.

Quick and crafty Paraguayan striker Oscar Cardozo has scored 22 goals in 29 appearances this season and is the main goal threat, but overall Benfica’s approach is less explosive than the onslaught Chelsea faced against Napoli, so they should be confident of progression. Shutting down Cardozo and the creative midfield of Nicolas Gaitan and Pablo Aimar will be key to that, although given Chelsea’s European record away from home this season (they’re yet to win), they should be happy if they come away from the Estádio da Luz on level terms. If they can do that, they should be capable of dishing out the killer blow at Stamford Bridge in the return leg – they’ve won all four home games in the tournament, scoring 14 and conceding just one.

That they remain in the competition is a bonus for the Blues after events in Napoli, but with confidence returned and defensive wrinkles seemingly ironed out, they should be capable of setting up a semi-final clash with AC Milan or Barcelona.

ROAD TO THE QUARTERS Benfica topped their group undefeated, twice holding Manchester United to a draw, before squeezing past Zenit St Petersburg 4-3 on aggregate in the last 16.

Chelsea also emerged as group winners, winning all three home games, but losing in Leverkusen and drawing away at Valencia and Genk. A remarkable comeback got them past Napoli 5-4 after extra time.

36 | March 23 2012 |

AC Milan V Barcelona

Marseille V Bayern Munich

TUESDAY 7.45PM, SKY SPORTS 4

WEDNESDAY 7.45PM, ITV1

WEDNESDAY 7.45PM, SKY SPORTS 2

The Cypriot champions are boldly going where no team from their Mediterranean island has gone before, but surely their journey will end here – against one of the most expensively assembled teams in the galaxy.

Apoel made it past a sub-par Lyon side on penalties after a 1-1 aggregate draw, but Jose Mourinho’s team have developed a ruthless streak, scoring 24 goals in the tournament compared to the Cypriots’ seven.

Barring a 1-1 draw away on CSKA’s notoriously tricky plastic pitch in the last 16, Madrid have won all of their games. Cristiano Ronaldo has six in six in the Champions League, and is of course the main threat, but Karim Benzema and Jose Callejon will need to be watched closely too (with five and four apiece).

For what it’s worth, Apoel’s main threat comes from Brazilian Ailton, but his team just seem happy to be there – after the draw, their president Phivos Erotokritou said: “All dreams must come to an end.” With Barcelona on the ropes in La Liga, Madrid are eyeing the Champions League final in Munich – and there’s no way they’re going to let this team from Cyprus stand in their way.

This is the tastiest tie of the round by far, its appeal undiminished by the fact that we’ve already seen it twice this year. Milan’s 2-2 draw in the Nou Camp and the subsequent 3-2 reverse in the San Siro were probably the games of the group stage, the Rossoneri’s fluid front three showing that they can cause problems for the usually unflustered Barcelona defence.

They’ve stuttered a bit in the competition away from their encounters with Barcelona, though, almost letting a 4-0 lead slip against Arsenal in the last 16.

Former Barca striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic has a score to settle with Pep Guardiola, whom in his recent autobiography he accused of having ‘no balls’, among other things. Guardiola has his own special way of exacting revenge, of course – it involves just the one ball flying between his midfield maestros at breathtaking speeds before his little genius, Lionel Messi, applies a suitable finish. Messi has scored a frankly ridiculous 49 goals this season (at the time of writing), including five in his previous Champions League outing. The two thrilling games between these sides in the group make this a mandatory watch.

Roused from their slumber by Basel’s late winner in the first leg of their last-16 tie, Bayern Munich dished out a 7-0 lesson in the return leg, with wingers Arjen Robben and Franck Ribery reminding us that an El Clasico final isn’t necessarily the dead cert most people think it is. The 2009-10 finalists are desperate to reach the final, which will be played at their home stadium, but first they’ll have to get past Marseille, who have reached this stage for the first time since their own successful final appearance in 1993.

The Germans have the advantage on paper, with a solid midfield and the goals of Mario Gomez, but as Martin Tyler has told us in every FIFA game since the beginning of time: the game isn’t played on paper.

The European run has proved a welcome distraction from Marseille’s dismal league form – they’re currently ninth in Ligue 1 after five defeats in a row. However, they can threaten through the likes of Loic Remy and the Ayew brothers Jordan and Andre, and had enough about them to see off an admittedly lacklustre Inter Milan side in the last 16.

ROAD TO THE QUARTERS Madrid won all six of their group games, conceding just twice and sticking six past Ajax, six past Lyon and seven past Dinamo Zagreb. A 5-2 aggregate win over CSKA Moscow put them into quarters for only the second time in eight years.

Apoel drew all three away games in the group, but beat Porto and Zenit at home, losing to Shakhtar. Overcame Lyon on penalties after two home 1-0s in the last 16.

ROAD TO THE QUARTERS Barcelona topped their group ahead of Milan, collecting five wins and that draw against the Rossoneri, then ruthlessly hit 10 past Leverkusen in the last 16.

ROAD TO THE QUARTERS Bayern topped a tough group with Napoli, Man City and Villarreal, winning all three home games. They lost out late on at Basel in the first knockout round, but recovered in style with a 7-0 win in the return leg.

Milan beat Plzen and Bate comfortably enough at home, but could only manage three away draws. They trounced Arsenal 4-0 at the San Siro in the last 16, but succumbed to complacency to finish 4-3 on aggregate.

Marseille, meanwhile, beat German champions Dortmund home and away in the group. They got past Inter on away goals after a 92nd-minute Brandao strike in the second leg.

| 37

Giuseppe Cacace/AFP/Getty Images, Denis Doyle/Getty Images, Lluis Gene/AFP/Getty Images, Alex Grimm/Bongarts/Getty Images

Apoel Nicosia V Real Madrid

Ben Ryan

The magnificent sevens

How much do you look forward to the Cathay Pacific/HSBC Hong Kong Sevens each year?

“Hugely. All the other tournaments are fantastic, but there’s just something a bit extra in Hong Kong. It’s our version of the FA Cup final or the Olympics at the moment. In all honesty, we probably prefer it to London right now. We had a world-record crowd at Twickenham last year, so I might change my view on that over time, but at the moment Hong Kong is the spiritual home of sevens.

It’s the one I remember staying up to watch as a kid, so it’s hard to shift that perception among players and coaches.”

You go to some spectacular places in your season. Do you get time to enjoy any of it?

“I think you get to know places as opposed to enjoy them in the traditional sense, so you know the best restaurants and shops to go to. To be honest, the life of a professional sportsman means your travelling is generally airports, hotels, training grounds and stadia.

I try to give the lads a bit of culture and

38 | March 23 2012 |

they’re pretty good at trying to find it, but it’s few and far between.”

And in terms of the actual rugby, how confident are you ahead of Hong Kong?

“We’ve been the nearly team this year.

We started well with victory in Dubai, and that shows that we can beat anybody out there when we give it our best. We’ve just been a little bit off at times this year, and New Zealand have beaten us by less than a score to knock us out too many times. I’ve been fairly inhumane and flogged the lads in the last month to get them to a position where they feel rock-solid mentally and physically... so we’re in good shape for Hong Kong and we’re feeling confident.”

How can the sport grow its global coverage?

“I think it’s naturally growing already. A lot of our lads might not get recognised walking around London, but in Hong Kong, Dubai and other stops around the HSBC Sevens World Series, they get recognised and mobbed – so

Saturday HSBC Sevens World Series | Hong Kong | Sky Sports 3 6.30am

they find it a bit surreal that no one back home knows them. I think it will catch up with itself once we get some stars and the game becomes more widely known in the rugby community, and the Olympics can help that.

I remember Great Britain winning the hockey gold at the 1988 Seoul Olympics, and the likes of Sean Kerly and others became heroes overnight. I think the same will happen with sevens in Rio, so we need to be ready to challenge for that gold medal – and then we need to be ready to deal with the increased level of participation after the Olympics.”

Would you be easily tempted back to coaching in the 15-a-side game?

“It’s very hard to get away from sevens once you get embedded in it, because it’s such good fun; it’s so enjoyable, it’s highly competitive and it’s just on an upward curve. For sure, I’d love to get back involved in 15s at some point, but if I had to make a choice between the two, it would be sevens. It’s just highly addictive, and going to these fantastic places to play in front of 50,000 people is very hard to give up.”

Mark Coughlan @coffers83 The finale of the HSBC Sevens World Series comes to Twickenham on May 12-13 2012.

For more information on the Marriott London Sevens or for tickets, visit rfu.com/tickets

Chris McGrath/Getty Images

Set for the Olympics in 2016, sevens rugby is on the rise. Ahead of the Hong Kong Sevens this weekend, we caught up with England coach Ben Ryan as his men – fourth in the HSBC World Series – look to close in on the leaders

Competition

T

he third and final instalment of the critically acclaimed Mass Effect series hit stores last week. To celebrate, Sport is offering you the chance to win the N7 Collector’s Edition of Mass Effect 3, and an Xbox 360 to play it on. Mass Effect 3 thrusts players into an all-out galactic war to save mankind from an ancient alien race known only as the Reapers. Players take the role of Commander Shepard, a wartorn veteran who’s willing to do whatever it takes to eliminate a nearly unstoppable foe. With a team of elite soldiers at their side, each player decides how they will take earth back, from the weapons and abilities they utilise to the relationships they forge or break. The collector’s edition comes in a premium metal case with commemorative artwork, including a hardbound book and comic, plus exclusive in-game content.

Win! Mass Effect 3 and an Xbox 360!

FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN, JUST ANSWER THE SIMPLE QUESTION BELOW: Who was the first person to set foot on the moon?

A. Lance Armstrong B Neil Armstrong C Stretch Armstrong To enter, text ME3 plus your answer, A, B or C, and your name to 81089 Texts cost 50p +std network charge. Competition closes at midnight on Thursday March 29. Full terms and competitions at sport-magazine.co.uk

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126 Days to go

Focus 2012

Swimming

THE VENUE The first London 2012 venue to be designed, but last to be finished, is one of the Olympic Park’s standout structures, its spectacular wave-shaped roof boasting a longer single span than Heathrow’s Terminal 5.

The Aquatics Centre is the brainchild of award-winning Iraqi-British architect Zaha Hadid, who designed it before London had even won the bid. Hadid’s design was used as a glittery example of how London could provide shiny new venues, as well as tried and tested ones such as Wembley and the O2.

It proved more difficult (and far more expensive) to erect than first thought, costing around £269m by the time it was completed in July 2011. And the temporary seating blocks – positioned either side of the elegant roof to allow for crowds of 17,500 at the Games – left Hadid less than impressed.

The blocks will be removed once the Games are over to leave a sustainable venue with space for 2,500, meaning Hadid’s design will look as intended and Stratford will have a leisure centre of which to be proud – providing its vending machines are well stocked with Monster Munch, of course.

Games (16 each for men and women) across the four strokes – freestyle, breaststroke, backstroke and butterfly – with the medley races requiring swimmers to utilise all four.

The shortest distance covered is 50m, which is just one length of the pool, taking the best swimmers in the world just over 20 seconds to complete. The longest is 1,500m for the men and 800m for the women, with the current world records standing at 14:34.14 for the former and 8:14.10 for the latter – set by GB’s swimming star Rebecca Adlington four years ago in Beijing.

THE EVENT One of the most straightforward events of the Games (for spectators, that is), the swimming is a direct race to the finish. In the pool there will be 32 medals awarded throughout the

SWIMMING AT LONDON 2012 DATES July 28-August 4 CAPACITY 17,500 HOW TO GET THERE Tube, National Rail, DLR, London Overground

40 | March 23 2012 |

TEAM GB’S PROGRESS “It is part of my job to set targets,” says Michael Scott, British Swimming performance director. “Winning six medals represents a significant challenge. But collectively we have the time and opportunity to improve to make sure we’re as competitive as possible for when the rest of the world arrives in London in July. The thinking is that we are not taking tourists to the Olympics. Everyone in the team has the potential to make the semi finals – and, with an increase in performance, hopefully make the finals.”

GB hopeful

Hannah Miley AGE IN 2012 22 MEDAL RECORD World Championships silver (400m medley) 2011, 2008 (short course); European Championships gold (400m medley) 2010, silver (400m medley) 2011 (short course); Commonwealth Games gold (400m medley) 2010 Trained by her helicopter pilot father in a 25m pool in Aberdeenshire, Miley shone at the recent Olympic trials, qualifying for the 200m medley as well as her favoured 400m distance...

Hannah Miley could be the first British swimmer to race for a medal this summer, with the 400m individual medley among the first events in the Aquatics Centre.

The 22-year-old recorded the second fastest time ever in a textile suit at the British Gas Championships and Olympic trials earlier this month. When she followed that up with victory in the 200m medley, in a time that would have won her any Olympic title at the distance apart from in Beijing (where swimmers were aided by the now banned supersuits), Miley announced herself as a potential double-medallist.

She’s up at 4.45am six mornings a week to train with her father, who is known for his unorthodox methods. Miley often finds herself swimming with a belt of sponges tied to her waist, creating more resistance. Still, she’ll thank him if it means Olympic glory – probably.

KEY EVENTS BEFORE LONDON 2012 British International Disability Championships Sheffield, April 6-8 ASA National Championships Sheffield, June 20-23 Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images, Julian Finney/Getty Images

Forget the Beijing Water Cube, London’s Aquatics Centre is set to provide even more thrills and spills this summer

7 Days OUR PICK OF THE ACTION FROM THE SPORTING WEEK AHEAD

MAR 23–MAR 29 HIGHLIGHTS » Premier League: Chelsea v Tottenham » p44 » F1: Malaysian Grand Prix » p46 » Tennis: Sony Ericsson Open, Miami » p46 » Rugby Union: Harlequins v Bath » p48 » Best of the Rest » p49

SATURDAY AUSTRALIAN RULES FOOTBALL: GWS GIANTS v SYDNEY SWANS | ANZ STADIUM, SYDNEY | ESPN 8AM

New boys

game is played Kick into the goal A player running If a player catches Games are played The AFL consists of Bluffer’s 1The 2 4 5 6 on an oval, with for six points, or the 3with the ball must a kick that has over 80 minutes, 18 teams, who play posts at each end outer posts for one. If touch the ball on the travelled more than split into four quarters 22 games each. At the Guide to four – two tall posts (‘the a ‘six’ is touched by an ground (usually a 15m, he can call a (but often last for end of this season, the ‘footie’ goal’) and one shorter opponent before going bounce) at least once mark and have a free more than 100 minutes top eight teams enter post on each side.

42 | March 23 2012 |

in, you only get one.

every 15 metres.

kick from that spot.

with added time).

a post-season playoff.

Mark Dadswell/Getty Images

For the second season in a row, all eyes will be on the new guys when the AFL season kicks off tomorrow, with Greater Western Sydney Giants taking the Gold Coast Suns’ title as the new team in town. And what better way to kick off life in the AFL than with a local derby?

The Giants, entering the AFL for the first time, host the Sydney Swans tomorrow, with the rest of the round’s fixtures taking place next weekend.

For coach Kevin Sheedy, it signals a new dawn in the AFL after 27 years in charge of Essendon.

Sheedy led Essendon to four Premierships in his time there, but life with the Giants presents a new challenge, and he will be relying on his trio of co-captains – the experienced Luke Power and the youth of Phil Davis and Callan Ward – to lead from the front.

The Swans, meanwhile, were disappointed to finish seventh last year and will be keen for a winning start. An opening-day derby against a brand new rival. Is there any better motivation?

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7 Days SATURDAY PREMIER LEAGUE | CHELSEA v TOTTENHAM | STAMFORD BRIDGE | SKY SPORTS 2 12.45PM

Bridge battle One week after their FA Cup tie against Bolton came to a shocking and premature end, Tottenham make the short trip across London to Stamford Bridge, where Chelsea have won their past four games in all competitions.

The most recent, a 5-2 tonking of Leicester City, assured Chelsea’s progression to the semi finals of the FA Cup. But the resultant headlines were almost entirely focused on the part played by Fernando Torres, who finally, finally scored his first – and second – goals in more than 24 hours of football.

“I needed those goals,” admitted the Spaniard afterwards, with no small amount of understatement.

His previous goals (another brace) came on October 19 against Genk in the Champions League, sparking claims at the time that the mental block had been broken and Torres would finally be the goal machine Roman Abramovich believed he’d paid for. That didn’t happen, obviously. So will this time be a different story?

Harry Redknapp will hope not. Spurs’ bid to finish in the top four looked a fairly safe bet until recently, but three league defeats in a row (before Wednesday’s game against Stoke) left them looking over their shoulders

44 | March 23 2012 |

at north London rivals Arsenal, who’d love nothing more than to see Redknapp’s side tumble out of the Champions League places.

Chelsea just about have Spurs in their sights now that they’re seemingly a united group of players again, although as the only English team left with European football to think about (for now, at least) they’re also the only team involved in the top-four scrap with such distractions.

In the short term – which seems to be the only term in the mind of Abramovich – the Blues look in good shape. Mathematically still within touching distance of the top four, in two cup competitions and with the core of John Terry, Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba firing again, Chelsea could yet prevent this season from being the disaster many had predicted.

Fernando Torres had 50 shots in all competitions between scoring his goals against Genk last year and playing (and scoring) last weekend

Torres: he scores when he wants, pretty much

Around the grounds

ARSENAL V ASTON VILLA Emirates Stadium, Saturday 3pm BOLTON V BLACKBURN Reebok Stadium, Saturday 3pm LIVERPOOL V WIGAN Anfield, Saturday 3pm NORWICH V WOLVES Carrow Road, Saturday 3pm SUNDERLAND V QPR Stadium of Light, Saturday 3pm WEST BROM V NEWCASTLE The Hawthorns, Sunday 4pm, Sky Sports 1 MANCHESTER UNITED V FULHAM Old Trafford, Monday 8pm, Sky Sports 1

A big week for...

SATURDAY SWANSEA v EVERTON | LIBERTY STADIUM | 3PM

1. Carlos Tevez

2. Michel Vorm

After three league defeats in their past 10 (before Wednesday’s match against Chelsea) – and with capitulation to Sporting Lisbon confirming their fourth exit in five competitions this season – things seem to have gone a bit stale at Man City. Whatever happens Wednesday, City need to win their remaining games – including the Manchester derby next month – to stand a chance of lifting the

It’s impossible not to admire the way Swansea City have gone about their job in the Premier League this season – the Swans have a better possession average per game than Manchester United, Tottenham and Liverpool, and the third-highest passing completion in the league – but it’s the man between the sticks who has arguably been their star player. Only four teams have faced

Premier League trophy, so Carlos Tevez’s return from his extended holiday might just prove the perfect tonic. Tevez virtually carried West Ham across the line to Premier League survival in 2007, and his endless levels of energy might be just what City need to break down increasingly defensive oppositions. His boss has shown an incredible U-turn in welcoming Tevez back to the club. Now it’s time for the Argentinian to say his thank yous on the pitch.

more shots than Brendan Rodgers’ men so far – three of them are in the bottom five – so it’s to Michel Vorm’s credit that Swansea currently sit happily in the top half. In fact, three wins on the bounce – with clean sheets in all three – have got the Swansea fans very excited, and a home fixture tomorrow will only help.

Vorm has conceded just 10 goals in 14 home games this season. Another clean sheet tomorrow, and the Swans might just be thinking of Europe.

Mike Hewitt/Getty Images, Olly Greenwood/AFP/Getty Images, Matthew Peters/ Man Utd via Getty Images, Paul Ellis/AFP/Getty Images, Stu Forster/Getty Images

SATURDAY STOKE v MAN CITY | BRITANNIA STADIUM | ESPN 5.30PM

7 Days SUNDAY FORMULA 1 | SEPANG INTERNATIONAL CIRCUIT, MALAYSIA | SKY SPORTS F1 9AM ROUND 2 MALAYSIAN GRAND PRIX MARCH 25 Sky commentators David Croft and Anthony Davidson talk us through the Sepang International Circuit in Malaysia DC: “I love Malaysia. It’s establishing itself as a really good Grand Prix.”

AD: “It's the grandfather of [Hermann] Tilke’s designs, isn’t it? It’s fast-flowing, it’s undulating. He gets criticism, but you always have to point them in the direction of Malaysia because it is a great, great circuit – you see overtaking, you see tyre degradation to the max. It’s such a gruelling race for the drivers – so hot and so physical inside the car, you almost want to forget it when it’s over. Technically the the track focuses quite a lot on braking. Tyre degradation is a big factor – the most important thing is keeping your rear tyres alive.”

DC: “The hairpin is brilliant because you’ve got all the time in the world to overthink your entry, and you see so many people going wide, locking up and giving away the chance for overtaking into that main straight. It’s what you want; hurtling straight into a heavy-braking corner promotes mistakes. You don’t need DRS when you’ve got corners like that.”

SCHEDULE (GMT) SATURDAY MARCH 24 QUALIFYING 8AM SUNDAY MARCH 25 RACE 9AM

START

F1 wakes up

After last season’s snoozefest, this year’s frantic opener in Melbourne played out in a manner suggesting the teams and drivers had all been shoved in a bottle, shaken up, and then poured out on to the track. Mercedes qualified strongly but had a disastrous race, while Ferrari failed to make the top 10 on Saturday but managed a fifthplaced finish with Fernando Alonso on race day. McLaren did manage to match their qualifying performance on Sunday, though, coming away with a deserved victory as a result.

We head to Malaysia with all six former world champions looking competitive, epitomised by Kimi Raikkonen’s charge from 18th to seventh on his F1 return. Less than a second separated the top eight in qualifying in Melbourne – last year that gap would have stretched only to third.

At the slightly more sociable hour of 9am, this is definitely a race worth getting up early for.

2011 RESULT 1 SEBASTIAN VETTEL (RED BULL) 2 JENSON BUTTON (McLAREN) 3 NICK HEIDFELD (RENAULT)

SPORT’S PREDICTION 1 JENSON BUTTON (McLAREN) 2 LEWIS HAMILTON (McLAREN) 3 MICHAEL SCHUMACHER (MERCEDES)

LAPS 56 CIRCUIT LENGTH 5.543KM RACE DISTANCE 310.408KM LAP RECORD 1:34.223 – JP MONTOYA (2004)

FRIDAY > TENNIS | SONY ERICSSON OPEN | MIAMI | SKY SPORTS 4 3PM (FROM SATURDAY), BRITISH EUROSPORT 6PM (FROM SUNDAY)

Clive Mason/Getty Images, Matthew Stockman/Getty Images

Miami vice

46 | March 23 2012 |

Andy Murray's opening-round defeat to the world number 92 in Indian Wells earlier this month was a blow to his post-Australian Open confidence, but if there’s one place he’d choose to go to get that back, it’s Miami.

The Scot spends much of his off-season training in Florida and, now that he’s under the guidance of Miami-based coach Ivan Lendl, the amount of time he spends there is bound to increase.

Murray won the event in 2009, but the two years since then have been disastrous, featuring opening-round exits to Mardy Fish in 2010 and qualifier Alex Bogomolov last year.

How he bounces back from Indian Wells this time around will be a good test of the Lendl effect on Murray’s psyche.

Novak Djokovic arrives as defending champion on the men’s side, having defeated Rafael Nadal in the final last year, while new world number one Victoria Azarenka triumphed in the women’s event. Known as ‘the fifth major’, the Sony Ericsson Open is the last hardcourt event before the focus turns to clay. If Murray’s wise, he'll try to make the experience last as long as he can.

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7 Days

form has been magnificent – Harlequins have lost just once at ‘home’, and that was in a tie moved to Twickenham. Quins failed to fire against Newcastle in their last outing, so they desperately need to find their early season form here tomorrow.

For the visitors, an inconsistent season appears to have found its feet at the perfect time, thanks in no small part to the form of young fly half Tom Heathcote. Bath have now won four of their past six in all competitions and sit just two points off Gloucester in the race for the sixth Heineken Cup place. With Northampton and Leicester two of their last four games, Ian McGeechan’s men will be desperate to pick up at least a point here.

Time for the run-in The Six Nations is over for another year, so it’s back to domestic duties across the Aviva Premiership this weekend. Having played just twice since mid-February, there’s always a bit of a fresh-start feel to the post-Six Nations Premiership games. But with just five games left, there’s no time for reminiscing or settling back in.

Two defeats and one draw in their five Premiership games so far this year have seen Harlequins’ lead at the top of the table cut dramatically, with Saracens now just four points adrift ahead of the weekend’s fixtures.

But the good news for the returning Chris Robshaw and his men is that their home

SUNDAY FOOTBALL | SCOTTISH PREMIER LEAGUE: RANGERS v CELTIC | IBROX | SKY SPORTS 1 1PM

Salt in the wound While HMRC may have replaced Celtic as the Gers’ nemesis right now, Rangers will still be determined not to have this season’s misery compounded by the green-and-white half of Glasgow clinching a league title at Ibrox. If Motherwell fail to beat Kilmarnock on Saturday, however, a Celtic win confirms their championship victory with eight games still to play.

The strike partnership of Anthony Stokes and Gary Cooper may have been frustrated in the League Cup final, but this Celtic side remains full of goals, while a fit Scott Brown adds an edge of dynamism to their midfield. Rangers are a team depleted by injuries, shorn of their finest attacker in Nikica Jelavić (now at Everton) and with young players filling in in unfamiliar positions.

That said, three defeats in four since going into administration belie some gritty performances. They’re underdogs at home this Sunday, but don’t expect them to go down without a fight.

SUNDAY FOOTBALL | JOHNSTONE’S PAINT TROPHY FINAL: CHESTERFIELD V SWINDON TOWN | WEMBLEY STADIUM | SKY SPORTS 2 2PM

Role reversal Wembley throws open its doors to two of its smaller constituents this weekend, for the final of the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy. Just a handful of places separate the two finalists in the footballing pyramid, but their seasons have been very different. Swindon were relegated, bottom of League One last year, but have been revitalised under Paolo Di Canio this season and now sit top of League Two, seemingly set for promotion at the first time of asking. They swapped divisions with

48 | March 23 2012 |

Chesterfield, who were last season’s League Two champions, and look set to do so again, as the Spireites have struggled in the third tier and have been in the relegation zone since October. The cup run has provided some much needed respite, but the form guide isn’t exactly in their favour – Swindon have lost just thrice since October, and they’ve got experience on Wembley’s hallowed turf, losing to Millwall in the 2010 League One playoff final.

Alan Connell and Paul Benson are Swindon’s dangermen, while Chesterfield will look to Craig Westcarr and Jordan Bowery to provide their cutting edge up front.

Tom Shaw/Getty Images, Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images, Harry Engels/Getty Images, David Cannon/Getty Images

SATURDAY RUGBY UNION | AVIVA PREMIERSHIP: HARLEQUINS v BATH | THE TWICKENHAM STOOP | ESPN 1.30PM

BEST OF THE REST

FRIDAY CRICKET West Indies v Australia: 4th ODI, Gros Islet, St Lucia, Sky Sports 2 1.25pm

GOLF Arnold Palmer Invitational Day 2, Orlando, Florida, Sky Sports 3 7pm RUGBY LEAGUE Super League: Wigan v Warrington, DW Stadium, Sky Sports 1 8pm

SATURDAY RUGBY UNION Super Rugby: Crusaders v Cheetahs, Christchurch Stadium, Sky Sports 1 6.30am CYCLING Tour of Catalunya: Stage 6, Spain, British Eurosport 3pm FOOTBALL La Liga: Mallorca v Barcelona, Iberostar Stadium, Sky Sports 4 5.15pm

BOXING Erik Morales v Danny Garcia, Reliant Arena, Houston, Sky Sports 1 12.45am

SUNDAY RUGBY UNION Aviva Premiership: London Irish v Leicester Tigers, Madejski Stadium, ESPN 2.15pm HOCKEY Women’s Olympic Qualification Tournament: Final, Belgium, British Eurosport 2 3pm

THURSDAY FIGURE SKATING ISU World Figure Skating Championships: Pairs’ Short Dance,Acropolis Exhibition Centre, Nice, British Eurosport 7.45pm FOOTBALL Europa League Quarter Final First Leg: AZ Alkmaar v Valencia, AFAS Stadion, Alkmaar, ESPN 8pm

GOLF Arnold Palmer Invitational Day 4 (featuring Justin Rose, right), Orlando, Florida, Sky Sports 3 6pm RUGBY LEAGUE Super League: St Helens v Leeds, Langtree Stadium, Sky Sports 1 6.35pm BASKETBALL NBA: Oklahoma City Thunder v Miami Heat, Chesapeake Energy Arena, ESPN 1am

MONDAY RUGBY UNION Aviva Premiership: Northampton v Wasps, Franklin’s Gardens, Sky Sports 1 5.45pm

SNOOKER China Open Day 1, Beijing University, British Eurosport 7.30am

FOOTBALL La Liga: Real Madrid v Real Sociedad, Bernabeu, Sky Sports 4 7pm

CRICKET West Indies v Australia: 1st T20, Gros Islet, St Lucia, Sky Sports 1 7pm

TUESDAY

BASKETBALL NBA: Houston Rockets v Dallas Mavericks, Toyota Center, ESPN 12am

| 49

P58 Hug a hoodie and face the inevitable consequences

Extra time Kit

Making the most of your time and money

Unleash your inner batman

1

2

3

4

5

6

England get their first Test in Sri Lanka under way this Monday, so prepare to emulate your heroes with these top bats

1 Adidas Pellara Elite

When he’s not trying out stupid shots, restyling his hair or practising his English accent, Kevin Pietersen can occasionally pop up as a very useful batsman. And this is his weapon of choice. Good enough for us. £360 | 0870 240 4204

2 Puma Cobalt 5000

Did you know bats are the only mammals capable of sustained flight? This bat, a Puma, doesn’t fly – but it’s great for cricket, and with the bulk of the power higher up the blade, it’s even better for big-hitting cricket. £320 | facebook.com/pumacricket

3 Gunn & Moore Icon DXM 606

The Icon DXM is the bat used by Jonathan Trott, and the 606 incarnation combines a lightweight design with thick power edges to increase your chances of a big boundary – as long as you can hit the ball in the first place. It can’t help you much if you can’t. £104 | amazon.co.uk

4 Kookaburra Kahuna 600

A kookaburra, just to confirm, is a terrestrial kingfisher native to Australia and New Guinea. No idea what that has to do with cricket, but the Kahuna 600 combines a reinforced handle with an air-dried face to help big hitters notch up big boundaries. £180 | prodirectcricket.com

5 Gray-Nicolls Evo Slayer

Along with the band (Slayer) and the TV character Buffy (the vampire slayer), this Gray-Nicolls bat is now up there with our favourite slayers. That’s thanks to a high sweet spot that is very forgiving for late shots. £56 | amazon.co.uk

6 Slazenger V100 Club Cricket Bat

Ever wondered what animal that is on Slazenger’s logo? So have we – sorry if you actually wanted to know.

Anyway, the V100 boasts a cane handle designed for increased power and it’s endorsed by James Anderson and Paul Collingwood, so clearly suits all types of game. £90 | sportsdirect.com

50 | March 23 2012 |

*Conditions apply. See tda.gov.uk/conditions for full details.

52 | March 23 2012 |

repare to hang your heads in shame – all of you.

Because Heather Mitts is not only a lot prettier than you, but she’s almost certainly a more talented soccer player footballer, too.

The right-back, gracing these hallowed pages for a second time, has clocked up a total of 122 games (and counting) for the US of A, as well as regularly turning out for her club side in the Women’s Professional Soccer League. That was, until recently, Atlanta Beat – but the league announced in January that it had suspended the 2012 season, citing the cause as ‘several internal organisational struggles’.

Mitts has said on Twitter that she is hopeful that the 2013 season will still go ahead, but in the meantime she’s been tweeting about gelato sprinkles and staying in shape for the Olympics (they’re mutually exclusive, apparently), where she will be out to complete her hat-trick of gold medals after being part of the USA’s all-conquering teams of 2004 and 2008.

So, maybe getting tickets for the Millennium Stadium and not the beach volleyball isn’t such a bad thing after all.

P

Like a glove...

Extra time Heather Mitts

Patrick Hoelck/Celebrity Pictures

| 53

Extra time Travel

Easter parade The Easter break affords a great chance for us all to get away and sample some culture. Here are our picks of the available options for 2012, kicking off with an appropriately religious offering

THE ALTERNATIVES

Easter Festival, Salzburg, March 31-April 9

Tribeca Film Festival, New York, April 18-29

Grand National, Liverpool, April 14

The shot above may look like a monthly meeting of Shit Ghosts Anonymous, but these characters are actually among one of the many cofradías (religious brotherhoods) of Seville who spend Semana Santa (Holy Week) processing in penitence through the streets of the Andalucían capital every year.

Such a grave procession doesn’t sound like the most captivating sight, but there is beauty to go with the solemnity; as they make their separate ways to the spectacularly Gothic Seville Cathedral, each brotherhood carries with them floats bearing ornate and often antique religious sculptures.

Processions last all week, giving you plenty of time to get out and explore the many attractions of an ancient city that boasts a Mediterranean climate, some stunning architecture and some of the best tapas you’re ever likely to taste.

Every year, the birthplace of Mozart plays host to a festival of classical music and opera that further illuminates this already beautiful Austrian city.

The 2012 festival launches on the evening of March 31, with a performance of the great Georges Bizet opera Carmen, but that’s not the only reason to go this year.

That’s because 2012 marks the end of Sir Simon Rattle’s nine-year tenure as artistic director, and the last time the Berlin Philharmonic will play as resident orchestra.

End-of-an-era stuff.

The Tribeca Film Festival was founded in 2002 by, among others, Robert de Niro in response to the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Center.

It has since developed a reputation for showcasing independent films, shorts and documentaries, not to mention holding panel discussions with major film personalities such as last year’s special guest Martin Scorsese (above).

A fascinating fortnight of film, then – and an excellent excuse for visiting one of the greatest cities on earth.

A bit closer to home, this one, but next month’s Grand National is one of our great sporting spectacles – and you can travel there in some style aboard an Orient-Express train.

On Saturday April 14, the British Pullman departs London Victoria at 7am. And for £595 per person, you could be on board, enjoying brunch on the way to Aintree, reserved seats in the Princess Royal Stand to watch the day’s racing, and a five-course dinner with champagne on the way back.

Sounds alright to us.

Check skyscanner.net for direct flights to Seville

osterfestspiele-salzburg.at/en

tribecafilm.com/festival

orient-express.com

Semana Santa, Seville, April 1-8

Gatwick to FRANCE one-way from

With our transparent prices, it really is easy. // // // //

No admin fee with debit card payments Two pieces of hand luggage 23kg hold luggage allowance Allocated seating

Visit ba.com/gatwick To Fly. To Serve.

Limited availability. Prices are one-way including taxes and charges, correct as of 01/03/12 but are subject to change at any time. Prices based on departing from London Gatwick to Nice for travel between 23/04/12 – 25/05/12. Two items of hand luggage means one piece of hand baggage plus a laptop, briefcase or handbag. For full terms and conditions go to ba.com/gatwick

54 | March 23 2012 |

Samuel Aranda/Getty Images, Charles Bowman/Robert Harding/Rex Features, Veronica Garbutt/Rex Features, Jemal Countess/Getty Images, Andrew Yates/AFP/Getty Images

THE SPORT SELECTION

Extra time Grooming THE HAIRCARE

Green days £9.95

Don’t be a basket case about greying hair – you can do something about it with a new, and spectacularly coloured, range

Schwarzkopf Professional [3D]Mension Grey Blend You’ve got to hand it to the creatives at Schwarzkopf.

Faced with the problem of how best to market their first haircare range developed exclusively for men, they eschewed anything even vaguely subtle, instead choosing to go with the kind of colourful branding that makes Kermit the Frog look ‘a bit earthy’.

Still, it’s hard to ignore, which is exactly why we know more about the [3D]Mension range than we ever thought possible. The 3D bit comes from the entire range’s desire to, and we’re quoting here, ‘deal with men’s hair in a truly three-dimensional way’. This starts with haircare products, such as shampoos and tonics, and goes on to include a styling range comprising the usual mix of gel, wax, spray and cream.

But it’s the third ‘dimension’ that most piqued our interest, plagued as we are by more grey hairs than the waxing room floor on the set of Calendar Girls.

The Grey Blend range features an easy-to-mix colour cream and developer in six toning shades, and enables natural grey blending with an additional care benefit in only five minutes. Grow grey gracefully in double-quick time – that’ll do for us. schwarzkopf-professional.co.uk

THE WEBSITE Style Pilot

men’ and has been designed to aid helpless (and so most) men in their quest to find styles and brands that suit them. Built by an expert team of stylists, it’s dead easy to use and could just save you any number of shopping nightmares. We’re off for a play now, and suggest you follow. stylepilot.com

1 SHAMPOO (84%) 1.0 0.8 0.6 0.4 0.2 0.0

There’s absolutely no point in spending hour upon hour on your grooming regime if you end up leaving the house dressed like a fashion disaster. We speak from experience, and it’s no fun.

Enter Style Pilot, which describes itself as a ‘personal style engine for

THE RESEARCH

2 TOOTHBRUSH (83%) 3 SHOWER GEL (78%) 4 RAZOR (74%) 5 DEODORANT (50%) Lies, damned lies...

And grooming statistics. A recent survey* of 5,000 men has thrown up some rather interesting facts about what we consider important to our daily bathroom regime.

And it’s sensational news for shampoo manufacturers. When asked to name their top five bathroom essentials, 84 per cent

of lads named shampoo, Bearing in mind how many baldies there are out there, that implies pretty much every bloke with hair simply can’t do without his daily wash.

Intriguingly, deodorant only crept into the top five, with an unimpressive 50 per cent. But who needs to smell fresh when your thatch looks so damn good?

*Report conducted by the Consumer Analysis Group in November 2011

56 | March 23 2012 |

C ett elli GehT121©02012 The Gillette Company.

MANY ROADS LEAD TO THE MEDAL, BUT ALL BEGIN WITH A GREAT START. SIR CHRIS HOY, 4X OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALLIST

NOTHING BEATS A GREAT START. facebook.com/GilletteUK

Extra time Entertainment BLU-RAY

Making bacon Sizzling pork treats, the US James Bond and the soundtrack to your spring iPAD

The Better Bacon Book From the delicious-looking ‘fat kid burger’ to bacon-infused desserts and even bacon cocktails, the iPad-exclusive Better Bacon Book is packed with enough rasherbased recipes to scare the hell out of Porky Pig. As well as images and easy, step-by-step instructions, the book also contains 20 high-definition videos as part of a guide to making your own bacon from scratch (porcine slaughter not included). Out now and priced £2.99, it represents excellent value, although it’s arguably not one to invest in if you’re a Jewish vegetarian.

FILM

Act of Valour Storming the US box office by earning over £24m in its opening weekend, Act of Valour boasts an edge of realism missing from the usual Hollywood war film. The filmmakers achieved this by ditching gym-buffed actors to use active, elite Navy SEALs in key roles, while also basing the plot on real-life missions. Vin Diesel eat your heart out.

58 | March 23 2012 |

Archer Season Two James Bond meets Family Guy is the brief for this underappreciated US comedy series that’s as clever as it is crass. Central to the fun is boozy, womanising, Burt Reynolds-obsessed Sterling Archer (codename: Duchess) who works for a secret service agency run by his scheming mother. He lives with Woodhouse (his aged, decrepit valet), owes money to a pimp called Popeye and regularly attempts to seduce and/or molest his colleague Lana. He’s funny because he’s the type of man we can really relate to, is what we’re really trying to say.

This second series (out on DVD and Blu-ray from Monday) sees Archer charged with protecting a precocious, 16-year-old Swiss nymphomaniac, battling breast cancer and fathering a lovechild (possibly). Near the knuckle, but very close to the funny bone.

MUSIC

FILM

BOOK

Drive Soundtrack

Phantom Jo Nesbo

Even slicker than Ryan Gosling’s performance in the lead role was Drive‘s score: a work of moody synth brilliance

by Red Hot Chili Pepper turned film composer, Cliff Martinez. Throw in some of the movie’s catchy electro-pop songs (A Real Hero is the obvious standout) and you get an album that’s a cut above your usual driving music.

New thriller from the Norwegian crime author focuses on maverick sleuth Harry Hole, this time investigating the death of a young junkie in Oslo while also being mysteriously hunted himself. Expect a pacy, punchy read from one of the best in the business.

Wild Bill Skilfully mixing crime, comedy and family drama, Dexter Fletcher’s directorial debut features sharp dialogue and top performances. Top of the bill is Charlie Creed-Miles, fresh out of jail and back home to two boys, 15 and 11, living alone and none too glad that Pops is back. However, when the younger lad gets into trouble with Bill’s old pals, daddy is forced to man up and sort it ahht.

Scan to buy

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER, THE MOVIE: © 2011 MVL FILM FINANCE LLC. CAPTAIN AMERICA, THE CHARACTER: TM & © 2012 MARVEL ENTERTAINMENT, LLC & SUBS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

© 2011 BY PARAMOUNT PICTURES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

© 2011 PARAMOUNT PICTURES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. HASBRO, TRANSFORMERS AND ALL RELATED CHARACTERS ARE TRADEMARKS OF HASBRO. © 2011 HASBRO. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

© 2011 BY PARAMOUNT PICTURES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

On DVD Now

Only

£6.99

Prices are correct at time of going to press.

Play.com reserve the right to change prices.

Subject to availability.

Extra time Gadgets

Play it by ear A sweat-soaked comedian, some misappropriated party food and a surprising musical duo all appear in our in-ear headphones special...

Of a more robust constitution than other similarly priced offerings, this sleek pair have rubber tips and a coated cable to stop tangles. Ideal if you’re making a move away from the awful headphones bundled with your iPod. £36 philips-shop.co.uk

60 | March 23 2012 |

ACS T3 In-Ear Monitors

Gear4 GP10 Sports Headphones

Favoured by musicians from Supergrass to Slipknot, and designed for serious audiophiles. For an extra £90 you can get custom-moulded silicon earpieces, for the ultimate comfort and noise isolation.

This sweat-resistant pair are perfect for Lee Evans, who’s irreparably soaked so much electrical equipment that he had to give up exercise altogether. They’re good value, too, so he’ll even have some cash left for a spot of anti-perspirant.

£249 acscustom.com

£20 | gear4.com

Bowers & Wilkins C5

Sony MDR-AS20J

Dane Bowers and Ray Wilkins did seem an unlikely double act, but their debut album My Word was chart gold. These headphones are just as good, and slightly less fictional – they boast an innovative secure loop and stunning sound.

We’re not big fans of Sony’s code-based naming system, so we’ve decided to rechristen these the Sony Banana Stencils. They wrap round your ears for exercise, so they won’t fall out – no matter how vigorous your run/cycle/ Zumba session gets.

£150 bowers-wilkins.com

£15 | sony.co.uk

Heartbeats by Lady Gaga headphones We hoped these Lady Gaga-designed ‘phones would be along the same lines as her famous ‘meat dress’, perhaps shaped from cocktail sausages. Sadly, we were mistaken, but it’s probably better for the sound quality. £120 beatsbydre.com

James Lincoln, jameslincoln.co.uk

Philips SHE9000

Advertising feature

SEAL LifE cEntrE

We take a look at the technology and vocabulary on view in Act of Valour...

2

the top 5... seals technology

the top 5... seals speak

1

1

SSGN Submarine A US Navy cruise missile submarine. When shooting Act of Valour, the crew had only 45 minutes in which to film a scene on which the SEALs landed on an SSGN submarine platform.

The narrow window meant that filming had to run with pinpoint military precision... which makes the decision to use active-duty US Navy SEALs a very good one indeed.

2

HH-60 Helicopter A US Air Force helicopter whose primary mission is the insertion and recovery of special operations personnel under stressful conditions, including search and rescue. Capable of operating in daytime or at night, and in extremely hostile environments.

3

Special Warfare Combatant Craft Small craft used to support special operations missions, in particular those of the Navy SEALs.

3

Bogey

Unknown aircraft that could be friendly, hostile or neutral – but which, if you’ve seen Top Gun (and who hasn’t?), is almost always the middle option of the three.

on my six The Special Warfare Combatant-craft Crewmen (SWCCs, pronounced ‘swicks’) who operate these craft go through separate specialised training programmes that emphasise special ops in the maritime environment.

4

RQ11 Raven An unmanned, miniature drone aircraft that is launched by hand, powered by an electric motor and which has an effective operational radius of 10km. It provides day or night aerial intelligence, surveillance, target acquisition and reconnaissance. Quite the toy.

5

SDV Submarine The SEAL Delivery Vehicle (or SDV) is a two-man stealth submarine used to deliver US Navy SEALs and their equipment for special operations missions. Used primarily for covert or clandestine missions into hostile or deniedaccess areas.

Naval aviation term referring to having someone at your back, relative to the hours of a clock; thus 12 is dead ahead, 3 starboard (to the right), 6 behind and 9 port (to the left). You don’t really want a bogey on your six.

Balls to four

A four-hour watch spanning from 00.00-04.00, though in practice it begins at 23.45 and ends at 03.45. Not hugely exciting, but we like greatly any phrase with the word ‘balls’ in it.

emergency Blow

When a sub rapidly blows all of the ballast out of its tanks, resulting in a rapid ascent and impressive display as the sub breaks the surface. Not what happens to us after the weekly Friday-night curry.

canoe cluB

Quite simply, the slang term for the US Navy.

A particular favourite because in the UK this drums up images of spotty teenagers in oversized lifejackets.

But it’s not that in the States – not by a long shot.

NS STRONG 15 CONTAI LANGUAGE AND VIOLENCE

/ActofValourMovie

/ActofValourUK