Sport magazine - Issue 251 by Sport Magazine

Issue 251 | April 13 2012

fragrances.hugoboss.com

“READY FOR THE CHALLENGE”

JENSON BUTTON. WORLD DRIVERS’ CHAMPION 2009

BOSS BOTTLED. SPORT. THE NEW FRAGRANCE FOR MEN

issue 251, april 13 2012 radar 08 The superstitions Well, it’s Friday the 13th after all. Mind that ladder

10 Wilko’s threads England’s most famous number 10 launches his own fashion label

12 Almost 100 days to go... ... to the start of the Olympics. What could possibly go wrong?

14 Editor’s letter After an interminable delay, is Redknapp still right for England? oFeatures this coming week

18 The 100 Most Memorable Moments in Olympic history From the jet-pack man and Eric the Eel to Michael Phelps and his eight golds... but what’s the most memorable of all?

42 Chinese Grand Prix After a three-week break, F1 returns in Shanghai

46 Champions League Why Chelsea just might best Barcelona. Well, maybe

50 Grand National We analyse the chances of every runner, then stick a pin in them

extra Time 54 Gadgets Headphones, lots of them. Take your pick

56 Kate Upton Moving on from Sports Illustrated to Sport. Next, the world

Tony Duffy/Getty Images

58 Grooming

Fragrances, a moisturiser and, er, a belt. That’s right, a belt

60 Entertainment This week we’re torn between Die Hard and The Cabin in the Woods. Willis wins this one, right? | April 13 2012 | 07

Radar

p10 – The new Wisden: it must be summer

p11 – Jonny Wilkinson does fashion

p12 – London 2012: we chart the final 100 days

L cky charms I

f you’re one of our more superstitious (or hockey maskwearing) readers, you’ll have noticed today’s date, and the bad omens that implies. Sport stars are prone to similar bouts of irrationality, and will do whatever it takes to ward off bad luck, even if it means a mouthful of goalie sweat...

French kissing Before France’s big games, defender Laurent Blanc would famously give his goalkeeper Fabien Barthez a passionate kiss on his bald head – for luck, of course. After winning the 1998 World Cup and Euro 2000, Barthez found it difficult to let go – in an interview before Blanc’s final outing for France, he sobbed: “It can’t be his last match. I want him to stay and I told him that.” Happily, the pair were reunited at Manchester United for that sugar sweet rom-com ending. Aww.

Tubby tennis Some athletes overdo it – Kolo Toure once left Arsenal playing with just nine men because he insisted on being the last man on to the pitch in every game, even when fellow centre back William Gallas was getting treatment. Goran Ivanisevic took this to its logical conclusion in 2001 – en route to winning Wimbledon, he repeated everything he’d done before his first match ahead of his next one. This meant eating the same food, talking to the same people and, bizarrely, watching Teletubbies every morning. “Sometimes, it got very boring,” he wrote afterwards. But the Croat was a wildcard entry, and 150/1 to win at the start of the tournament – so maybe Tinky Winky et al hold the key to sporting success.

08 | April 13 2012 |

Patrick Hertzog/AFP/Getty Images

Smelly shorts Perhaps a more common way of warding off bad luck is to make sure you get ready for each game in exactly the same way – whether it’s by putting on your clothes in the same order, or by just wearing the same ‘lucky’ item of clothing every time you play. Michael Jordan, for example, wore his college basketball shorts under his team kit for every match of his 1,072-game career. Let’s hope he gave them a wash from time to time.

149 not out W

Gareth Copley/Getty Images

eighty tome Wisden is synonymous with cricket... like lazy, sunny afternoons, the satisfying clop of ball on bat, and ageing men in striped blazers getting riotously hammered in a pavillion. For 149 years this sporting bible has covered the events of the previous year in its inimitable style, and nothing has changed under new editor Lawrence Booth. The latest edition covers diverse topics, from the decline of the Test to the burgeoning South Korean cricket scene. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a dense, lovely, essential chunk of cricketing history. Wisden Almanack 2012, out now, ÂŁ50

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Radar

Wear a Jonny D

avid Beckham. Babe Ruth. Roy Munson (Kingpin was based on a true story, right?). Some names will forever be linked to their sport, and Jonathan Peter Wilkinson OBE is most definitely a rugby name for the decades. Not one to rest on his laurels, however, Jonny – along with brother Mark – is behind new clothing line Fineside, and this is their latest collection. “We pick fabrics which make the garments work for walking the dog, going to the gym or sport in the park,” explains Jonny. “Not 10-pin bowling, though. We’re leaving that to Munson,” he didn’t add. See the collection at fineside.com

You too can look like Jonny – cheesy model pose optional

Racing time T

he MotoGP season kicked off last weekend. If you missed it, perhaps punctuality is an issue. Luckily, Tissot has launched its range of MotoGP watches for this season – our favourite is this limited-edition piece, in the colours of Ducati racer Nicky Hayden. It’s got all the usual bells and whistles (and cogs and gears) you’d expect, and it comes in a mini-helmet display box, which you’ll surely be able to find an amusing use for. T-Race Nicky Hayden 2012, tissot.ch

Radar

The final push There are just over 100 days to go until the most expensive party in British history kicks off over in Stratford – but, like an exhausted competitor in the closing stages of the 3,000m steeplechase, we still have a few hurdles to pass... May 3 85 days to go

May 4 84 days to go

May 10 78 days to go

May 19 69 days to go

Voting day in the London mayoral elections, and Ken and Boris find out which one of them will actually get to go to the Olympics. If Boris doesn’t win, it’ll be a long fortnight sat in front of the television for him, as he recently revealed he hadn’t successfully secured any tickets in the ballot. Poor guy.

The brand new Olympic stadium will be put through its paces as thousands of students arrive for the BUCS Outdoor Athletics championships. If our student days are anything to go by, they’ll probably have to tear the whole thing down and rebuild it after. The Olympic planners will hope everything goes off without a hitch, and be silently praying that they haven’t forgotten to put in anything important – like toilets, or a running track.

The Olympic torch will be lit by the sun in ancient Olympia (that’s Greece, not Kensington) – it will travel 2,900 kilometres around Greece for a week, visiting 43 towns, before being bundled, Homeland-style on to a special golden plane for the journey to the UK. The plane’s not actually made of gold – austerity and all that.

The Olympic torch lands on British shores, arriving from Greece, assuming the cash-strapped nation hasn’t melted it down to pay off its debts. From Land’s End, it will go on a 70-day journey around these fair isles, carried by 8,000 people (not all at once), and finishing in Stratford just in time to light the flame. That’s assuming public transport isn’t involved at any stage, in which case it’ll probably be about 20 minutes late.

Clowning around I

t’s a clown’s nightmare. Fresh out of college, you get your first chance to put your four-year BsC in Clown Studies into action – all you have to do is unicycle over a paddling pool full of sharks while juggling flaming chainsaws. Who would blame you for enlisting a little electronic help? This contraption, the SBU V3, takes the legwork out of unicycling, thanks to some very clever tech. And it’ll even help you balance as you reach speeds of up to 15mph – leaving you free to concentrate on avoiding second-degree burns. $1,795, focusdesigns.com

July 25 2 days to go

July 27 0 days to go

The athletics qualification period ends, the very last event to close its doors to potential competitors. By this stage all the teams will be finalised, with plane tickets bought and kits pressed – and spaces cleared on mantelpieces from Beijing to Barbados. Forget your corporate sponsors and your Cultural Olympiad – this is what it’s all about.

The Olympic football tournament begins, a couple of days before the official start of the Games, and just a few weeks after England’s exhausted players crash out of Euro 2012 in the quarter finals. With only three over-23s allowed, it’s a chance for some of Britain’s (or just England’s) youngsters to get some valuable biggishgame experience – Team GB’s first match is at Old Trafford on July 26.

The opening ceremony! It’s being put together by Oscar-winning director Danny Boyle, of Trainspotting and 28 Days Later fame, so we’re hoping to see emaciated heroin addicts lobbing pint glasses into the cheap seats, while theatre school graduates in gory make-up wander menacingly around the long jump pit. Sadly, we suspect it’ll have more in common with the sickly dance scene at the end of Slumdog Millionaire.

You can travel up to 7.5 miles on a single charge of the battery, which takes one hour to charge Antonin Thuillier/AFP/Getty Images

July 8 19 days to go

Radar Editor’s letter

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EDITORIAL

Redknapp looks over his shoulder to ﬁnd a short line of England alternatives, probably

COMMERCIAL

Is ’Arry still the man? Clamour for Spurs boss has died down as his team falters, but England are short of options

Editor-in-chief Simon Caney @simoncaney

Fast forward to the here and now and it’s like watching a different side: not only playing with no discernible shape, but also seemingly bereft of passion. Clearly, the players love Redknapp. Is it a coincidence that their eyes have been taken off the ball – literally – by so much talk of him moving over to Wembley? In any case, if the FA were that keen on appointing him, surely a deal would have been thrashed out with Spurs by now. The European Championships are not far off and we go in without a manager and, by default, without a captain. Stuart Pearce is on standby and, as the days pass, it looks more and more likely that he will lead the team to Poland and Ukraine. Anyone who saw Spurs lose to Norwich last week might think twice about having Harry Redknapp as England boss anyway. There may not be many options, but I’m still not sure Harry is the best one.

It looks certain now that Mario Balotelli will leave these shores in the summer. There are plenty who will be pleased to see the back of him, but he’s one of the most watchable players in the Premier League. Admittedly, it’s not always for the right reasons (though he’s better than people give him credit for), but there are too few characters in our sport. We’ll miss him when he’s gone. If there was one major that John Daly really ought to have won, it was the Masters. His mile-long drives and exquisite short game were made for Augusta, but sadly his temperament never allowed him to ﬁnish better than third there. Step forward Bubba Watson. He is a clean-living Daly – he grips it and rips it on the course just as Wild Thing did, and has an equally wonderful imagination – but there the similarities end. A ﬁne champion from a great tournament.

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Hearty thanks this week to: Everyone who contributed to our Olympic 100 list, David Lawrenson Total Average Distribution: 304,700 Jul-Dec 2011

Reader comments of the week @simoncaney @sportmaguk Why does Rory #McIlroy have lots of grey hair at 22 yrs old? Is being a millionaire, loved by many that stressful?

@simoncaney Cracking piece on @rorymcilroy in todays @Sportmaguk – loved the front cover as well.

@ScottieJW Twitter

@aldosrendos Twitter

14 | April 13 2012 |

@simoncaney St Andrews may be awe inspiring due to its history but the likes of Carnoustie, Muirfield and Troon are far superior tracks.

For all the talent that Rory has, I’m not sure he has the sheer determination that Nicklaus possessed. He’s almost too nice. Time will tell.

@McBrideRJ Twitter

Just thought I’d let you in on this thing I’ve found. It’s called rugby. It’s brilliant. It’s a shame that in Sport today rugby merited only half a page as opposed to a full page for open water swimming and baseball.

Peter, via email

Chris, via email

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ebruary 8 was the date that it all started to go wrong at Tottenham. As their fans were proudly tooting ‘mind the gap’ to the poor Gooners, Fabio Capello was putting a wax seal on the bottom of a resignation letter to the FA. The immediate speculation linking Harry Redknapp with the position of England manager reached fever pitch. Pundits announced him as the only man for the job. Still, though, no appointment has been made. And while Redknapp and Spurs may argue the media circus has not affected their form, take one look at their results. Since February 8, they’ve played 12 matches and won just four – one of them an FA Cup replay against Stevenage. Up to that point, Spurs were playing the most attractive football in the league and looked certain for a Champions League spot.

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Radar Frozen in time

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Amen corner At the precise moment Gerry ‘Bubba’ Watson took this shot at Augusta last Sunday, the inscriber on the Masters scroll must have been double-checking how you spell ‘Oosthuizen’. And with good reason. Nobody gave Bubba a prayer, playing his second shot of the second hole of the sudden-death playoff from the deep pine Georgia doo-doo – except maybe Bubba himself. This ridiculous hook landed within two putts of the hole, and the man who’s clearly never had a golf lesson in his life had himself a nice new green blazer. Amen to that.

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| 17

The Olympic 100

Next Wednesday, April 18, marks 100 days until the opening ceremony of the Games of the XXX Olympiad, or what you might call the Olympic Games. It seemed ﬁtting, therefore, to celebrate and whet your appetite for the coming bonanza by scraping our memory banks – and those of our readers – and recalling what we consider to be the 100 most memorable moments in the history of the summer Games. Some are great, some tragic, and one of them features a marathon runner driving a large chunk of the route in his car. In reverse order, then...

56||April 18 September 13 201223 | 2011 |

100

Rocket Man! Los Angeles 1984

Less impressive now we actually live in The Future, but back in 1984 the sight of this stuntman flying through the air to declare the Games of the XXIII Olympiad officially open seemed like perhaps the single most spinetingling moment in Olympic history, ever. In hindsight, perhaps we’d become a tad giddy on Soda Stream. But, even so, what a start.

Jumpin’ Jimmy Athens 1896

Triple-jumping American James B Connolly was the first champion in the history of the modern Olympics. Effectively ejected from Harvard and shunned by fellow US athletes for being too poor, he caught a steamboat to Athens but misread the calendar – instead of having 12 days’ preparation time, he arrived the day before the competition, discovering also that the rules had been changed from a hop-step-jump to a hop-hop-jump. Unperturbed, and in front of 140,000 people, Connolly watched his rivals’ first-round attempts with contempt, marked a point beyond the farthest leap with his hat, then proceeded to jump far beyond and win silver (gold medals did not then exist). Harvard tried to apologise and offered him an honourary doctorate afterwards. Connolly told them to go jump.

Tony Duffy/Getty Images, Hulton Archive/Getty Images, IOC/Allsport, Simon Bruty/Getty Images, Martin Bernetti/AFP/Getty Images

Antwerp 1920

Begin the Gold Rush Beijing 2008

Nicole Cooke’s gold in the women’s road race wasn’t the most celebrated of Team GB’s 19 gold medals in Beijing, but it was the first – and arguably the most important. It came in a downpour and at a time when GB bums were becoming if not squeaky, then rather anxious. Cooke’s gold relieved the pressure and opened the floodgates to the record haul that followed.

Gun-totin’ grandad

Oscar Swahn was 72 when he took silver in the 100m running deer (double shot). A Swedish pensioner running round with a gun? Mental! It was a record then and a record still, and unlikely to be beaten any time soon.

Six in one St Louis 1904

Six medals in a single day is some going for any gymnast, but quite an achievement for a man with a wooden prosthesis for a left leg. German-born American George Eyser lost the lower bit (proper medical term) in a train accident, yet still took gold on the parallel bars, long horse vault and in the sadly defunct 25-foot rope climb.

He inspired me, and I’m sure he inspired a lot of other guys too.” In short, Team GB’s domination of the track owes it all to this moment.

Hey pro, no go Stockholm 1912

Part-French, part-Irish, part-Native American, Jim Thorpe won double gold in the pentathlon and the decathlon, then returned home to a hero’s welcome from Uncle Sam. Alas, he was stripped of both medals for having received payment for having played minor-league baseball years before, making him a professional. A campaign to return his golds to him finally bore fruit, but by then he was dead. Gone, but not forgotten.

Fire-starter Barcelona 1992

When the Olympic flame was delivered by the final torch runner to Paralympic archer Antonio Rebollo, his task was simple, yet fraught with danger: fire flaming arrow several hundred metres into cauldron, spark Olympic flame, milk applause. Avoid coming up short and burning any spectators to death though, if you can. Lucky that

Rebello was such a dead-eye (and the flame was actually lit by remote control), otherwise this entry would have been far more notable and much higher up the list.

One. Three. Beijing 2008

Paralympian swimmer Ellie Simmonds took gold in the 100m and 400m freestyle, aged 13 – one-three. If you were doing anything more notable at 13, that would get on to this list ahead of her, do get in touch.

The tipping point Sydney 2000

Jason Queally’s gold in the now defunct 1km time trial may not have seemed all that significant at the time, but... “It’s the same in any walk of life – you raise the bar and the rest follow,” says Chris Hoy, who knows better than us. “And that’s what Jason did in 2000; he made us believe that if he could do it, then we could do it too.

Barefoot Bikila Rome 1960

Abebe Bikila’s marathon gold was an achievement of many firsts. The first sub-Saharan African (he was Ethiopian) to win gold, the first to win barefoot, in the first marathon to be run after dark (on a course lit by flaming torches held by Italian soldiers). Maybe we should have put it in first place, then, but it wasn’t that remarkable. Even so, well done, son.

Marathon rotter, part I Paris 1900

Michel Théato was a baker’s delivery boy who romped to gold in the 1900 marathon, only to be accused of using his local knowledge to take short cuts through the Parisian backstreets. Never mind that the accusations were disproven in 2003, or that he was in fact a humble cabinet-maker, and not a delivery boy at all. Because, as tales of dastardly derring-do go, this is almost the best ever. Almost, but not quite.

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The Olympic 100

Two Princes Athens 1896

The winner of the first Olympic marathon, one Spyridon Louis, a Greek shepherd, was joined for his final lap of the stadium by Crown Prince Constantine and Prince George of Greece. Rumour has it they even stopped halfway round for a stiff tipple. Note to Wills and Harry, then: start stretching now.

Long and longer Berlin 1936

Central Press/Getty Images, Jeff Gross/Getty Images, Hulton Archive/Getty Images, Topham Picturepoint/Press Association Images

Jesse Owens, the man who singlehandedly crushed Adolf Hitler’s claims of Aryan supremacy in 1936, owed a not insignificant debt to the unheralded Luz Long, a man who looked like a poster boy for the Führer’s master race but didn’t conform to type. After two failed jumps in qualifying, Owens faced disqualification – until Long, his closest rival, ingeniously suggested to the American that he start his take-off further back. Owens qualified and edged out Long for gold, the German being the first to congratulate him. “You can melt down all the medals and cups I have and they wouldn’t be a plating on the 24-carat friendship I felt for Luz Long at that moment,” said Owens. “Hitler must have gone crazy watching us embrace.” Crazy enough to invade Poland three years later – so pretty pissed off, then.

Roll up

Golden Girl

England in the 19th century, and it was called wiff-waff!” roared Johnson. Lord Coe can be seen laughing in the background, but inside he’s dying 1,000 terrible deaths.

Death race Munich 1972

To win pentathlon gold, beating the local German favourite in the process, is to be lauded – but it wouldn’t make a list of this kind were it not for an added intangible ingredient. Throw in the IRA death threats that were bouncing round Mary Peters’ head as the Protestant raced for home, and you have that added ingredient. Her victory was said to have united both sides of Northern Ireland’s sectarian divide at the height of the troubles – for a brief time, at least.

A nation expects Beijing 2008

Imagine if Australian sprinter Cathy Freeman had failed in Sydney and, instead of claiming the gold destined to be hers, crumpled under the weight of expectation of an entire

nation and pulled up lame with an injury. Multiply that expectation by 10 and the outpouring of grief by a billion, and you have the case of Liu Xiang. China’s medal hope in the 110m hurdles, who had equalled Colin Jackson’s world record and taken gold in Athens, walked away from the blocks with an Achilles injury. “China’s greatest hope had been dashed,” screamed the NY Times, and a nation wailed as one.

Excess all areas Melbourne 1956

The Greatest gold Rome 1960

Cassius Clay won gold in Italy by beating four boxers you won’t have heard of. Hardly stop-the-presses news, but as an introduction to the future Muhammad Ali and his jibber-jabbering gob, this walks on to any Olympic moments list. He later lobbed his medal into the Ohio River.

London 1908

Athens 2004

87 85

Wiff-waff/ping-pong Beijing 2008

At a party to mark the handing over of the Olympic flag, all of Lord Coe’s tireless work in establishing Great Britain as a credible and competent Olympic host unravels before him as Boris Johnson takes the mic and regales the world with an animated and inaccurate retelling of the history of table tennis. “Ping-pong was invented on the dining tables of

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Athens 1896

Did we mention Pierre de Coubertin’s Any tale that ends with the recollection moustache yet? Then we really should “I was blind drunk, totally blotto, on the have. The founder of the modern Olympic podium” deserves its place Olympic Games, yes, but we remember on this list. Chris Brasher made his him more fondly as the owner of the Olympic mark as Britain’s third-choice most luxuriant whiskers in the history steeplechaser who, surprisingly, of sport. Monumental, monsieur. took gold. Only he was disqualified Down and out for impeding the Norwegian bronzeAtlanta 1996 medallist, then reinstated following Linford Christie, one of GB’s greatest an appeal and at the insistence of ever Olympians, would hope to be his gentlemanly rivals. The delay forever remembered more for his forced the IOC to postpone the medal masterful 100m gold in 1992 – and ceremony until the following day, he is. But it’s impossible to forget his by which point Brasher was happily monumental strop on being disqualified tanked on stout. from the Atlanta 100m final following two false starts. The Brit ranted and raged and refused to go peacefully for a full three minutes and 40 seconds, but it felt like hours. “A tasteless ending to a brilliant career,” wrote one critic, and it was. But amusing, nonetheless.

Compare and contrast the ostentatious and overblown excess of this summer’s opening ceremony with this shot of London’s 1908 Games, when spectators could be counted on one hand and the cost of hosting the thing barely ran into double figures. Call us curmudgeons if you like, but we know which we prefer.

To win an eighth Olympic kayaking gold 24 long years after the first is enough to guarantee a place on this list, and Birgit Fischer would be a Top 10 shoo-in had she been English and not German. Alas, she isn’t. So she isn’t.

Le moustache

The Olympic 100

77 76

staring at Kenyan Paul Tergat’s muscular rump as it roared off into the distance and on to imminent gold. The game was up, but no panic. The Emperor of Ethiopia simply kicked on and reeled Tergat in at the line. Like a leopard hunting gazelle, if you can imagine a leopard dressed in a pair of very small shorts.

Shun mans up Montreal 1976

Japanese gymnast Shun Fujimoto helped win gold in the men’s team combined competition in 1976, despite breaking one of his kneecaps. Just a flesh wound, he told himself, so kept it secret from his teammates and coach and delivered a 9.5 in the pommel horse, then a 9.7 on the rings. Alas, his twisting triple-somersault finish on the latter saw him drop eight feet to dismount. He held his finish and raised his arms, then crumpled into the arms of his coach. His Games were up, but his scores helped his teammates win gold by the narrowest of margins. Fujimoto was later asked if he would do it again. “No,” he replied.

Mike Powell/Allsport, Jiro Mochizuki/AFP/Getty Images, Gabriel Bouys/AFP/Getty Images, Fox Photos/Getty Images

A cock and balls story Los Angeles 1932

At her peak, Polish-American sprinter Stella Walsh (also known as Stanisława Walasiewicz) was one of the fastest women on the planet, taking 100m gold in LA with a world record of 11.9s. But she remains better remembered for flouting the rules somewhat, for when she died she was found to be packing gentlemen’s genitals. Tut tut.

Blubbing Herbert Barcelona 1992

The phrase ‘man up’ hadn’t been invented back in 1992, when Garry Herbert steered and shouted the coxed pair Jonny and Gregory Searle to gold in Barcelona and then blubbed like a slapped brat on the podium. Which is regrettable.

Attack of the a-hole Athens 2004

We’ve all been there. One minute you’re leading the Olympic Marathon by 25 seconds with four miles left; the next you’ve been shoved into the barriers by a defrocked priest

22 | April 13 2012 |

dressed up like a leprechaun. When you finally break free from the mentalist’s grip, you go from first to third and end up with the bronze. For his sportsmanship and good grace, Brazil’s Vanderlei de Lima could at least console himself with receiving the Pierre de Courbertin medal – presumably a lump of gold decorated with a preposterously large moustache (see 80).

The family butcher Barcelona 1992

Britain’s Phylis Smith won bronze in the 4x400m relay in Barcelona, but her achievement was overshadowed by Wolverhampton family butcher Arthur Cackett. Flouting strict IOC rules against advertising, Smith found herself in hot water after emblazoning the legend “Hello, Arthur Cackett” on her running bib. British officials and the IOC were incandescent with rage, but it was the least Arthur Cackett deserved for all the support he’d shown Smith. “I think we gave her a nice bit of sirloin and a couple of turkey drumsticks,” he chuckled.

En garde, sir! Rome 1960

When the ageist Hungarian fencing committee told 50-year-old Aladar Gerevich he was too old to compete at the 1960 Olympics, he did what any right-minded swordsman would: challenged every member of the team selected to a duel, beat them all to win a recall, then inevitably took gold in the sabre team event. Eat that. Five star Athens 2004, Beijing 2008

Three years after having a leg amputated at the knee following a car accident, Natalie du Toit took five gold medals at the Athens Paralympics. Impressive that she repeated the feat four years later, but even more so that she did so weeks after appearing as the first female amputee swimmer to qualify for the able-bodied Olympics. She didn’t win, but she didn’t need to.

Hail the Emperor Sydney 2000

Haile Gebrselassie hadn’t been beaten in the 10,000m for seven years, but with half a lap left in Sydney he was

Big Scheidt

Spanish bigots

Make mine a double-double

Sydney 2000

In the 1996 Games, Robert Scheidt tricked a naive young Ben Ainslie into disqualification in the Laser class, thus handing the Brazilian (he’s not German) gold on a plate. Four years on, the more streetwise Brit had his revenge by ensuring Scheidt couldn’t finish the final race high enough up the field to deprive him of gold. His tactic? He simply stalled his rival by sailing round and round and round him until everyone else had finished. It may have been more complicated than that, but that’s how it looked to us. Beijing 2008

The Spanish male and female basketball teams made ‘funny’ ‘Chinese eyes’ in a pre-Beijing ad campaign, then shrugged it off as a bit of knockabout fun when the inevitable shitstorm rolled in. Not the Spaniards’ only appearance on this list... and they were probably making those ‘ha-so’ noises as well, knowing them. Munich 1972, Montreal 1976

First, the Finnish flier Lasse Viren won a coveted double in the 5,000m and 10,000m. Then he went and did it again four years later, elevating him to the pantheon of true Olympic greats. Old Father Time jiggered his hopes of repeating the trick in Moscow in 1980, but his work was already done.

The Olympic 100

61 67

Mike Powell/Allsport, Keystone/Hulton Archive/Getty Images, Brian Smith/AFP/Getty Images, Getty Images via AFP, A&J Visage/Alamy

The Dream Team Barcelona 1992

Not just a dream team, but The Dream Team to which all others doth their caps. At Barcelona in 1992, a new ruling allowing professional basketball players to represent their countries allowed Uncle Sam to cherry-pick, among others, Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Scottie Pippen and Charles Barkley. The result was as exhilaratingly one-sided as you would expect.

Textbook! Seoul 1988

Of Greg Louganis’ four Olympic golds, split evenly between 1984 and 1988, the one he picked up in Seoul on the 3m springboard remains the most memorable. Attempting to pull off a reverse 2½ pike, the American got his calculations wrong, clattered his head on the board and opened up a wound that required five stitches. Louganis, who later announced he was HIV positive at the time, still took gold with ease.

Flame extinguished 1983

Few tuning in for the 1983 Olympic Games opening ceremony can have

24 | April 13 2012 |

expected to see Clark Kent’s Superman go out of his way to blow the flame out simply because, as Superman, he could. Hold on. There was no Olympic Games in 1983. WTF? Did we just dream this?

Dawn to the deep end Tokyo 1964

Australian swimmer Dawn Fraser is the only woman to have won the 100m freestyle at three consecutive Games. More impressively, though, she’s the only woman we know of to have drunkenly stolen an Olympic flag from outside Emperor Hirohito’s Imperial Palace to take home as a souvenir. She got hit by a policeman’s truncheon for her troubles, then by a 10-year suspension.

A hero’s return Mexico City 1968

Proof that it’s not about the winning. In 1968, Momo Walde took marathon gold, while Tanzania’s John Stephen Akhwari took an hour longer and trailed in last. However, the fact Akhwari had dislocated his knee and hobbled home to a hero’s reception struck an Olympic chord. They said his perseverance symbolised the finest in human spirit,

but he said it was simpler than that: “My country did not send me 5,000 miles to start the race. They sent me 5,000 miles to finish the race.”

Golden girl Beijing 2008

Even Frankie Boyle would agree Rebecca Adlington’s double gold in the 400m and 800m freestyle is deserving of a place on this list, but is 62 too high for an athlete achieving what she set out for? Answers on a postcard.

Fast dope Rome 1960

Danish cyclist Knud Jensen took gold in Rome, then promptly passed out, cracked his skull open and died. Tragic, but he was off his noggin on performance-boosting drugs. The first doping scandal in cycling, but obviously not the last.

Winner flops Mexico City 1968

American high jumper Dick Fosbury took gold in the 1968 Games by turning up with a crazy new trick in his bag: instead of straddling the bar, like all the other stiffs, this cat flopped over head and shoulders first, forever changing the sport as we know it.

Never mind that earlier jumpers had dropped on to painful sand pits and not the nice new padded mats Dick was landing on – Fosbury was a visionary. Build that man a statue!

Marathon rotter, part II

Solo run

St Louis 1904

Surely the most magnificently devious rotter in Olympic Games history, marathon winner Fred Lorz was disqualified when it was discovered he covered 11 of the 26.2 miles in a car. A f**king car. When caught, he claimed it had all been a practical joke. He was still banned for life and stripped of his medal. Build that man a statue! London 1908

The only man to have won Olympic gold with a walkover, British army lieutenant Wyndham Halswelle was the victim of blocking by his American rivals in the 400m final in 1908, back before lanes were used. This being illegal, the race was ruled invalid, an American disqualified and the final rescheduled for the following day. Only, when the two remaining Americans refused to race in a show of solidarity, Halswelle was left to romp to gold unchallenged.

The Olympic 100

Back from the dead Amsterdam 1928, Berlin 1936

Plucked from obscurity, 16-year-old Betty Robinson became an American treasure by taking gold in only her fifth ever senior race in 1928, only to then ‘die’ in a plane crash three years later. Pulled from the wreckage and shoved in the boot of a car, she was found to be merely comatose on the mortician’s slab. Seven months later she came out of it, spent six months in a wheelchair and took a further two years to learn to walk again. She couldn’t bend her legs fully, so couldn’t assume the sprinter’s crouch, but she could still run the relay and win a second gold in the 4x100m in 1936. Frankly, a tale so far-fetched that someone must have made it up.

Mr Hercules Paris 1924

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What do you usually achieve in an average afternoon? Shuffle some pages, make a round of tea and stare desperately at the clock? Pff. In 1924, Paavo Nurmi, Finland's greatest ever distance runner, won gold in the 1,500m and 5,000m. Two days later, he added the individual and team golds in the cross country, then the day after that, another in the 3,000m team race. Kettle’s boiled.

Superman saves us

Blade runner

Baumann, and he hasn’t a prayer. Or so we all thought. But then, to the surprise of the entire world, those four Africans and probably Baumann himself, the German cut through the field like a greased cheetah, taking a most improbable gold.

Kick of a lifetime Beijing 2008

Ángel Matos waited a lifetime to deliver a perfectly executed taekwondo kick in his bronze-medal match in Beijing. What a moment to deliver your finest strike! What a shame it was the ref he hit! Furious after a (justified) disqualification for taking too long over an injury time-out, the Cuban slammed his foot straight into the ref’s astonished face, becoming an Olympic disgrace, but an online video sensation.

Paula calls it quits Athens 2004

She may not have stopped for an on-the-street toilet break as she would while winning the London marathon a year later, but Paula Radcliffe curled off a whopping dump all over her Olympic legacy in 2004. Her record: two quits in two races (marathon, then 10,000m). “This is not the way she would have wanted her Olympic challenge to end,” Steve Cram told us. No shit.

Gunnell spanks Yank

German joker

Barcelona 1992

Sally Gunnell – with her poodle perm and terrier spirit – up against her fierce American rival, Sandra Farmer-Patrick, all voluminous hair, garish make-up and false nails. There could only be one winner in the women’s 400m hurdles and it was... the Brit. Eh?! Can you hear us, George Washington? Your girl took one hell of a beating. Munich 1972

The ultimate student prank: Norbert Sudhaus slipped from the crowd in full track attire to power through the last kilometre of the Munich marathon, crossing the line first in a packed, cheering stadium. Officials cottoned on to the bastard interloper, and Norbert never got his mitts on a gold medal. At least he has his pair of massive brass balls to make up for it.

The pain barrier Los Angeles 1984

Near crippled with heat exhaustion, marathon runner Gabrielle AndersenScheiss staggers into the stadium. Medics rush to help, but she swerves away, knowing that if they touch her, she’s disqualified. To an increasingly deafening roar, the Swiss zig-zags in agony to the finish, collapsing over the line. She finished 37th.

Barcelona 1992

Barcelona wasn’t a great Olympics for GB, but Chris Boardman gave us a moment of glory. The cyclist famed for his ‘Superman’ riding style and fancy Lotus bike destroyed German world champ Jens Lehmann (no, not that one) in the 4km pursuit, catching and passing his rival. Britain’s first cycling gold since 1920. Beijing 2008

Oscar Pistorius would have landed much higher on this list had he qualified for the able-bodied Olympics in Beijing and not narrowly missed out, so we have him here for taking three golds in the T44 100m, 200m and 400m on those funny bouncing blades of his, and for blurring the boundaries between ‘able’ and ‘disabled’. If he graces the able-bodied Olympics this summer, as looks likely, we’ll push him much higher next time.

White lightning, part I Barcelona 1992

Picture this: the home straight of the men’s 5,000m; four fearsomely fast Africans are bearing down on the line. Behind them, a pasty-white German who often ran in spectacles is attempting to keep up. He is Dieter

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The Olympic 100

Titter ye not Montreal 1976

“...and there goes Juantorena down the back straight; opening his legs and showing his class.” The most infamous Olympic double entendre came not from David Colemanballs, as most people assume, but his colleague Ron Pickering, who delivered this gem live on the BBC. The commentary was in fact accurate, as 400m and 800m gold-medallist Alberto Juantorena was famed for his nine-foot run stride. Plus he was nicknamed ‘El Caballo’ (or ‘the horse’), so probably packed a mammoth Johnson.

Wine with your medal? London 1908

A notorious end to London’s first Olympic marathon saw the victorious Dorando Pietri helped across the line by officials and later disqualified. He’d already collapsed five times in the stadium before struggling on, although some claim this was as much to do with the Italian’s habit of gargling wine during races as it was his physical exertions. Hic.

Swim of the century Sydney 2004

Ian Thorpe. Michael Phelps. Pieter van den Hoogenband. Grant Hackett. Four swimmers who share a total of 25

Olympic gold medals (and counting) between them. In Sydney, they all faced off in a 200m freestyle final billed as the most anticipated race ever. Result: victory for the Thorpedo, narrowly beating Van den Hoogenband in a hundredth of the time it takes to say the Dutchman’s name.

The Greatest

Olga melts hearts

Atlanta 1996

Trust the USA to blow us all away with heavyweight star power. At Atlanta, the defining moment of the opening ceremony was the appearance of the most famous gold-medallist of them all. Muhammad Ali, hands trembling with a mixture of Parkinson’s and nerves, held the Olympic flame aloft and the world in his thrall once again. More memorable than jet-pack man, but not the greatest Olympic opening ever... Munich 1972

It wasn’t the gobsmacking gymnastic displays or three golds that let Olga Korbut steal the show in Munich; it was the post-routine smiles and tears that showed the world the warm face of USSR athletes previously all thought to be cold, Ivan Drago-like automatons. Sadly, her dismount into adult life was not so easy, filled as it was with injury, shoplifting and celebrity boxing on TV.

Fanny-power London 1948

At 30 years old and a mother of two, many thought Fanny Blankers-Koen had missed her chance at glory when London ‘48 began. Fanny left those doubters with rancid egg all over their faces: four track-and-field gold medals later, Holland’s ‘Flying Housewife’ was confirmed as an all-time legend.

Epic Gail Barcelona 1992

The 25-year-old American sprinter Gail Devers shouldn’t really have been

Man vs Locomotive Helsinki 1952

Emil Zatopek had already taken two Olympic golds (5,000m and 10,000m – the latter of which he had successfully defended as reigning champion) when he began his first ever marathon in Helsinki. Unsure of the correct pace, the newcomer just ran alongside world record holder Jim Peters, asking the Brit after 15km what he thought of the race so far. Running at a fierce lick, Peters tried

to unsettle Zatopek with some mind games by replying that the pace was “too slow”. The ‘Czech Locomotive’ responded by steaming off into the distance to claim his third Olympic record of the games. Peters failed to finish.

Feel the power Mexico City 1968

Shoeless, heads bowed with a black-gloved fist raised to the sky while the US national anthem played, 200m medallists Tommie Smith (who took gold as the first man to break the 20-second barrier) and John Carlos ensured that the iconic image of Mexico ‘68 came not from the track, but from the podium. The pair’s black-power protest against racial discrimination drew an immediate backlash, The Daily Mail running with the headline ‘Olympic sacrilege and disgrace’. Both athletes were suspended from the Games and sent home. Gold-medallist Smith defended their position, saying: “If I win, I am an American, not a black American. But if I did something bad, then they would say ‘a Negro’. We are black and we are proud of being black. Black America will understand what we did tonight.” It took some time, but most of the world now understand what they were trying to do as well.

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in Barcelona at all, having been diagnosed with the debilitating Graves’ disease two years earlier. But she was, and the radioactive iodine treatment she had undergone in her recovery seemed to have given her superpowers as she blazed to a shock gold in the women’s 100m, leading home a stellar field including Irina Privalova, Merlene Ottey and Gwen Torrence. A follow-up in her favoured 100m hurdles seemed a formality – and so it looked until she ploughed inexplicably through the 10th and final hurdle while leading. In that split-second, Devers went from the brink of making history, as the first athlete ever to complete the sprint/hurdles double, to a flailing desperado collapsing over the finish line in fifth.

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The Olympic 100

Lewis’ last leap Atlanta 1996

You know what true greatness is? It’s claiming your fourth successive gold in the same event... when that event isn’t even the one you’re most famous for. Two-time 100m Olympic champion Carl Lewis was 35 when he began the long jump competition at Atlanta ‘96. He defied age, gravity and logic to win his ninth gold in his final Games.

Flo-Jo flies Seoul 1988

As ridiculously fast as her nails were long, Florence Griffith-Joyner had a decent 1988: she won three Olympic golds and set 100m and 200m world records that stand to this day. So was she a freak of nature, or did Flo-Jo have some, er, assistance? Well, she never failed a drug test. Even Marion Jones, drugged up to her eyeballs over a decade later, still couldn’t come close to Flo-Jo’s best times.

Budd/Decker collide Los Angeles 1984

When barefoot Brit/Saffa Zola Budd took the lead from her childhood hero Mary Decker, the women’s 3,000m in LA suddenly became a contact sport. After clipping Budd’s heels, the golden girl of US athletics stumbled, fell to

the cinders and collapsed in a shellshocked heap. The pack raced on, Decker exited in tears and Budd finished seventh to a chorus of boos. She was cleared of wrongdoing by the IAAF, but takes the blame to this day. “She still blames me,” Budd recently said. “But she has forgiven me.”

Games changer Beijing 2008

Just £100m in cost, involving a cast of 15,000, adorned by CGI fireworks and with an ogre-faced young singer (we jest) hidden away so that a cuter girl could mime her vocals, Beijing’s opening ceremony was as breathtaking as it was all a bit fishy. Still, it’s bound to beat Geoff Capes on a unicycle or whatever budget-busted opener London 2012 is likely to serve up.

Sly swordsman Montreal 1976

Russian scoundrel Boris Onishchenko, a modern pentathlete and thoroughly modern cheat, wired his épée so that he could trigger the electric scoring system by hand. Unfortunately for Boris, waving his weapon around like a feather duster yet still scoring hits raised his opponents’ suspicion. His épée was dismantled, his skulduggery revealed, his disgrace complete.

Colemanballs Barcelona 1992

Linford Christie’s coronation as the fastest man on this planet, via the 100m final in Barcelona, was given fitting accompaniment by David Coleman’s memorable commentary. Which mainly consisted of: “They’ve all got away well... ughhughherrraahhh! ...Christie!!!” What an amazing performance. And big Linford wasn’t too shabby either.

Token effort Sydney 2000

Eric ‘the Eel’ Moussambani had never seen a swimming pool bigger than his own bathtub before he arrived in Sydney. Yet when two swimmers

false- started, the Equatoguinean wildcard entry had to swim his 100m qualifying heat solo, which he did in a time more than twice that of his faster competitors. Moussambani’s stunning achievement in doggypaddling the full distance without drowning made him a cult figure.

The bomb Atlanta 1996

The bomb explosion during a rock concert at Atlanta’s Centennial Olympic Park killed two people, injured 111 and was considered a reason for stopping the Games altogether. A shocking reminder that the modern Olympics will always be a target for terrorist extremists.

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The Olympic 100

The unbeatable: beaten Sydney 2000

When it came to Greco-Roman wrestling, Alexander Karelin was invincible. In 13 years, he hadn’t lost a bout and went to Sydney chasing his fourth gold medal. Legend had it, he hadn’t even given up a single point in the previous six years. So what could make more sense than this sculpted Russian adonis losing in the 130kg gold-medal match to lardy American dairy farmer Rulon Gardner? Despite the American’s wife fearing the worst (“I hear he’s paralysed people before,” she gasped), Gardner stole a point then held on for dear life as Karelin unleashed hell. A real Rocky moment.

Perfect 10 Montreal 1976

Romania’s Nadia Comaneci set a standard that cannot be beaten, scoring a first-ever perfect 10.0 in Olympic gymnastics with a flawless display of strength and technique on the asymmetric bars in Montreal. The 14-year-old then repeated the trick three more times in different disciplines. We would place this even higher if gymnastics was, y’know, a real competitive sport.

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Bolt races history Beijing 2008

Teeth clenched, face a grimace, dipping at the line – this wasn’t the Usain Bolt of the 100m, sauntering to victory. Because in the Beijing 200m final, Bolt wasn’t racing his on-track rivals – he was out in front, trying his utmost to break Michael Johnson’s 19.32s world record (see number 3). He looked left instantly on crossing the line, eyes only for the time. 19.30s. And he did it into a headwind, too.

Spitz it out Munich 1972

Despite the hydrodynamic drag of his porn-star moustache, Mark Spitz went to Munich on a mission: to win six gold medals, more than any athlete had ever taken at a single Games. Spitz didn’t achieve this. Instead, he won seven golds, setting a record that would surely never be beate... sorry, Michael who? Oh, for crying out loud.

Good Lord Los Angeles 1984

Beaten into second in his favoured 800m for the second successive Games, his year rocked by a serious

illness that left him unable to train for six months, Seb Coe ran one of the races of his life to defend his Olympic 1,500m title, completing the last 100 metres in just 12.7s to best fellow Brit Steve Cram. On crossing the line, he turned to the British press box, eyes ablaze, and hollered: “Now believe in me!” Yes, sir.

Faster food Athens 2004

A motley band of underachievers, the British 100m mens’ relay team rocked up in Athens to a showdown with a star-studded US quartet. When it began, Mark Lewis-Francis, known as ‘Fast Food’ thanks to a youth spent wolfing down KFC and the like, inherited a slight lead over Mo Greene on the final leg, then unbelievably and unexpectedly held off the sprint legend to win gold by one-hundredth of a second – or a centimetre of his big barrel chest. Chalk up an assist to Colonel Sanders.

White lightning, part II Moscow 1980

Despite his genetic disadvantages in being a) Scottish and b) white, Allan Wells dipped to eke out a 100m win by the width of a cracker. Ah, but this was in Moscow, with the US, Canada, etc boycotting, so surely he was slower than morning porridge and won due to a lack of competition, right? Wrong. Wells wiped the floor

with the world’s best the following year to erase all doubts. Make no mistake: this McHonkey was fast.

Carl Lewis’ big head

Thunder thighs

Los Angeles 1984

In LA, Carl Lewis produced the most impressive feat of athletics the world had yet seen. He emulated Jesse Owens’ four gold medals for the 100m, 200m, long jump and 100m relay, while also breaking world and Olympic records along the way. Despite this, Lewis was never really beloved by US fans due to his gargantuan ego. Looks like America loves a winner – so long as he isn’t too young, black and arrogant, obviously. Beijing 2008

He can get from 0-44mph in less than 10 seconds, which we wouldn’t expect from the Sport company car, let alone a man on a bicycle powered only by iron will and thighs like Tina Turner. When Chris Hoy won three golds in Beijing – in the team sprint, keirin and individual sprint – he proved himself the velodrome alpha male in a sport filled with mighty silverbacks.

Fingertips rescue Phelps Beijing 2008

The least likely of Michael Phelps’ eight targeted golds in Beijing: a 4x100m freestyle relay final win against the heavily favoured French,

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who promised to ‘smash’ the US. Only they reckoned without US anchor man Jason Lezak, at 33 years old swimming the fastest leg in relay history to beat the French by a fingertip and keep Phelps’ dream alive. Cue X-rated celebrations as the Americans tore swimsuits asunder and howled like waxed werewolves.

Fire starter Paris 1924

Chariots of Fire reminded the world of Eric Liddell, but his tale needs no filmic embellishment. The Scottish sprinter’s strict religious views meant he refused to race in his favoured 100m in Paris, because the Olympic heats fell on a sabbath. Instead, he rapidly retrained for the wholly different 400m and pulled off a shocking win, sprinting the full distance to set a new world record. A great result for him – and for Him, too.

Hemery kills the rest Mexico City 1968

It is a rare treat indeed that a moment of pure sporting gold is equalled by the commentary that accompanies it, but such was the case with David Coleman’s typically idiosyncratic description of David Hemery’s brutal dismantling of the opposition in the 400m hurdles final in Mexico City. It was a remarkable enough display from the dashing Brit, who went to the blocks as the joint

slowest in the field but romped to gold in a new world-record time of 48.12s, but it owes its lofty perch here at least in part to Coleman. “Hemery wins for Great Britain!” he screamed as part of a call that was timed at just the 200 words per minute. “In second place is Hennige, and who cares who’s third? It doesn’t matter [it was actually fellow Brit John Sherwood, so it did]... he killed the rest. He paralysed them!” He didn’t, of course – he never touched them. But we know what Coleman meant, even if the man himself didn’t.

Paralympic low blow Sydney 2000

Spain’s mentally disabled basketball team were splashed all over the front pages of their proud nation’s sports newspapers after winning gold in 2000. The problem was, that meant people they knew started to recognise them... and out them as people with no disability whatsoever. It was eventually found that at least 15 of the 200 Spanish Paralympics athletes had no disability, unless being a cheating bastardo counts.

Lean on me Barcelona 1992

If you’d told Derek Redmond before Barcelona that Morgan Freeman would make a VISA advert about his performance, he’d probably have thought: ‘Oh goody – I’m going to win a gold medal’. Afraid not, Derek – but the image of the British 400m runner, hamstring shredded, limping to the line in agony while his dad supports him, has become an enduring image of the Olympic spirit, a father-son bond and your favourite credit card.

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The Olympic 100

15 Cold War on court Munich 1972

An unbeaten and seemingly unbeatable USA, winners of all seven basketball gold medals, extended their Olympic winning run to 63 games in reaching the 1972 final, where they faced a more battle-hardened USSR. With a single second on the clock, following a ferocious comeback, the US found themselves in front for the first time, at 50-49. But then the real action began. The officials put three seconds back on the clock after a dubious timeout issue. In desperation, the Soviets went long, the ball sailed harmlessly out and the Americans celebrated gold. Until the officials ruled the clock was being reset when the ball was back in play, so reset the three seconds again. This time the Soviets found their man, Alexander Belov, who brushed off two Yanks and sunk a lay-up. The game was up and the Americans’ gold gone, replaced by a giant and lingering sense of injustice. Forty years on, America’s silver medals remain unclaimed, gathering dust in a Swiss vault.

futuristic bodysuit. A nation rejoiced, leaving Freeman to sink to her knees, her expression conveying nothing but emotional exhaustion. The face of the Olympics indeed.

Melbourne 1956

Not the highest entry on our list about which a film has been made, but not far off. The 2006 Quentin Tarantino flick Freedom’s Fury documented the bitter and bloody meeting of the Hungarian and USSR water polo teams in the semi finals of the Melbourne Games. Taking place less than a month after Soviet troops had suppressed the student-led Hungarian Revolution in Budapest, Hungary approached the contest intent on revenge, and with an admirable strategy to taunt their opponents to the max. And it worked. Hungary led an ill-tempered clash 4-0 with two minutes left, when the Soviets’ Valentin Prokopov snapped, catching Ervin Zador with a swinger so fierce it drew blood. The match was suspended, Hungary awarded the win on their

way to gold, and the nasty Soviets left to think about their actions (as they collected their bronze medals).

Kelly’s eyes Athens 2004

The look of wide-eyed disbelief on the face of Kelly Holmes upon winning 800m gold in Athens was, for many, the defining image of the Games, but her childlike joy masked the years of injury-plagued struggle that had gone before. That she produced such an inspired run on the biggest stage imaginable, at the age of 34, was testament to her strength of mind; that she repeated the feat in the 1,500m only five days later, testament to her prodigious talent. “The greatest performance in the history of British distance running,” mumbled Brendan Foster in the box. And he was right.

Jolly hockey Seoul 1988

“Where, oh where, were the Germans? And frankly, who cares?” Not a line from Dad's Army, but a rare piece of partisan commentary from that old master of received pronunciation, Barry Davies. And the context? Former newsagent Imran Sherwani’s second strike of the 1988 men’s hockey final, giving Great Britain an unassailable 3-1 lead over West Germany. The Germans would get their revenge two years later in Turin (one for another list) – but for those heady few minutes in the summer of ‘88, the moustachioed Sherwani, Alan Titchmarsh lookalike Sean Kerly and the great old sport of field hockey were all that mattered to an adoring British public. Where are they now? Frankly, who cares?

Cathy comes home Sydney 2000

If Jess Ennis wants to know about carrying the dreams of a nation on her shoulders, she need only have a word with Cathy Freeman. From the second she won 400m silver behind Marie-Jose Perec in 1996, Freeman was the girl upon whom all of Australia, including the large indigenous population of which she herself numbered one, had pinned their Olympic hopes. Golds at the 1997 and 1999 World Championships only ramped up the expectation, which just about flew into orbit when the then 27-year-old was chosen to light the Olympic flame in Sydney. No pressure then, Cathy, but destiny was on her side: first, as the flaky Perec scarpered almost as soon as she arrived, citing press intrusion; and second, as she trounced the opposition in a weird

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Blood in the water

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The Olympic 100

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Seoul screw job Seoul 1988

Supremely gifted US boxer Roy Jones Junior pummelled Park Si-Hun for three rounds in the final of the 1988 Olympic light-middleweight competition, landing 86 shots to Park’s 32. However, the judges were clearly impressed by all the punches Park cunningly blocked with his face, awarding the decision to the Korean and setting a standard as the most heinous robbery in Olympic history. The judges were suspended afterwards, while Jones was awarded the trophy for best boxer of the Games – to go with the pure comedy value of his silver medal.

Daley whistles Los Angeles 1984

Very possibly the greatest all-round athlete this little island of ours has ever produced, Daley Thompson headed for the LA Games of 1984 as the holder of all three major decathlon titles. He duly retained the Olympic gong he first won at Moscow four years earlier, dispatching his great (and equally moustachioed) rival Jurgen Hingsen with a score of 8,847 points – a world record that stood for eight years, and the British record to this day. Impressive enough to make this list on its own, but Daley’s tash signified a renegade streak that was to reach its peak in the aftermath of his golden performance.

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After donning a T-shirt asking ‘is the world’s 2nd greatest athlete gay?’ – a gesture aimed at quadruple goldmedallist Carl Lewis – for his lap of honour, Thompson went on to whistle his way through the national anthem with a glorious insouciance that Liz herself would have been proud of. Top 10 material, this, no question.

Coe v Ovett Moscow 1980

From the ridiculous to the sublime, and very possibly the greatest British sporting rivalry of the lot. Back in the days when our middle-distance runners ruled the world (not you, Tom McKean), Seb Coe and Steve Ovett were the crown prince and bete noir of British athletics. Coe, who we hear is still knocking about the Olympic scene today, was good-looking, university-educated and mediafriendly, while Ovett was a prematurely balding art-school lefty who shunned the press at every turn. The contrast was obvious (if not as stark as the media liked to have it), so when the pair headed for a rare on-track meeting at the Moscow Games, it made for compelling viewing. The first of two clashes came in Coe’s preferred 800m – but the golden boy, to quote his father and coach Peter, “ran like an idiot”. Ovett stayed closer to the pace, elbowed his way out of trouble and sprinted to a win that shocked the world.

But, displaying the balls of steel that were to prove so useful in helping London win the 2012 Games, Coe rocked up five days later and stole off with gold in Ovett’s favoured 1,500m. It was the peak of a rivalry that helped define the sporting decade. And it was awesome.

Phelps’ big swim Beijing 2008

Few thought Mark Spitz’s record of seven gold medals at a single Games would ever be beaten, but no one had told Michael Phelps that. The Baltimore Bullet had signalled his potential with just the six golds at the Athens Games four years earlier, but by Beijing he and coach Bob Bowman had devised the plan by which he was to launch a genuine assault on a new record of eight. It wasn’t without its near-misses – the Americans’ victory in the 4x100m freestyle relay is worthy of its own entry in our list, while his 0.001s win over Milorad Cavic in the 100m butterfly still beggars belief – but Phelps executed the plan, with a little help from some friends, to perfection. Eight events,

eight golds and number eight on our list. How very appropriate.

Jesse sticks it up Hitler Berlin 1936

The Berlin Olympics of 1936, so went the theory (albeit of crackpot Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler), were supposed to prove beyond all doubt that the Aryans were indeed the master race. So, when, on August 3 1936, two black Americans lined up in a six-man final of the 100m, the Fuhrer would have had high hopes for a fifth and a sixth. Instead he got a first and a second ramped right up his tiny tash, with a modest 23-year-old by the name of Jesse Owens taking gold. But that was just the start of Hitler’s problems, as Owens went on to win another three golds (in the long jump, 200m and 4x100m relay) in a display of pure athletic prowess that went unrivalled for a full 48 years. But for its historical and political significance, Owens’ achievement sits higher in our list than that of Carl Lewis in 1984... just too bad his own country treated him so shamefully in the years that followed.

Keystone/Hulton Archive/Getty Images, Steve Powell/Allsport

The Olympic 100 Massacre Munich 1972

At 4.30am on September 5 1972, deep into week two of the Munich Games, eight members of the Palestinian paramilitary group Black September scaled a two-metre fence into the Olympic Village. They entered two apartments being used by the Israeli team and proceeded to take hostage a group of athletes and coaches, thus setting off a confusing, violent and at times woefully mismanaged chain of events that resulted in the greatest tragedy in Olympic history. “When I was a kid, my father used to say ‘our greatest hopes and our worst fears are seldom realised’,” said veteran ABC sports commentator Jim McKay, reporting on events for US television. “Our worst fears have been realised tonight... there were 11 hostages. Two were killed in their rooms yesterday morning, nine were killed at the airport tonight. They’re all gone.”

The Leap of the Century Mexico City 1968

It’s perhaps no surprise that four of the top five entries on this lovingly compiled list herald from the annals of Olympic athletics, but of those four only one comes from a field event – and the sandpit of the long jump, to be precise, where Bob Beamon leapt his way into folklore at the 1968 Games. His first effort in the final of said competition was so great that it went beyond the limits of the measuring equipment, causing a 10-minute delay that only added to the drama as Beamon, his adversaries and a silent crowd awaited a reading from the hastily rushed-in tape measure. The confirmed distance of 29ft 2½ins (or 8.90m, in new money) didn’t just win Beamon gold; it set a new world best by a whopping 55cm, established what is by some distance the longeststanding current Olympic record, and sent the man himself into a cataplectic seizure that saw him collapse to the ground like a shambling drunkard. Quite the way to celebrate, Robert.

Five and out Sydney 2000

“If anyone sees me go anywhere near a boat, you’ve got my permission to shoot me. I do not, ever, want to get in a boat again. I’ve had enough.” So said Steve Redgrave, famously, after winning Olympic gold number four at the Atlanta Games of 1996. Four years later, however, after a physically and emotionally exhausting build-up played out in front of an expectant public, he turned up in Sydney – and, together with Matthew Pinsent, James Cracknell and the ponytailed Tim Foster, paddled his way into history

38 | April 13 2012 |

with gold at a fifth consecutive Games. An outstanding display of long-term sporting excellence unlikely ever to be seen again, performed by a slowly balding 38-year-old father of three battling diabetes. When Pinsent clambered over Foster to hug his great friend and teammate, he did so on behalf of a nation.

Johnson by yards! Atlanta 1996

Top-class sport is supposed to be a matter of margins, athletes combining talent and hard work in an attempt to raise the bar by even the tiniest of increments. But then, once in a while, someone comes along who blows everything that has gone before them out of the water. Bob Beamon did it in 1968, Flo-Jo (ahem) in 1988, and then in 1996 Michael Johnson strolled on to his home track in Atlanta and, in his trademark upright style, absolutely obliterated one of the toughest world records in track and field. Twice. Pietro Mennea’s 200m mark of 19.72s had been set at altitude in Mexico City in 1979, but five weeks before the 1996 Games, Johnson hinted at what was to come by running 19.66s on the Olympic track. Then, in the 200m final itself, he pulverised a world-class field in a barely believable 19.32s. Johnson went crazy, the stadium went crazy, and the watching world went crazy. Would we ever see anything like it again, we wondered? Turns out we would...

5 3

Keystone/Hulton Archive/Getty Images, Tony Duffy/Getty Images, Mike Hewitt /Allsport, Gray Mortimore/Getty Images

The Olympic 100

Lightning Bolt Beijing 2008

Unoriginal headline, unoriginal choice... but there was nothing, absolutely zilch, unoriginal about the extraordinary display of pace, power and sheer nonchalance put on by the Jamaican wunderkind Usain Bolt in the final of the men’s 100m in Beijing. It wasn’t just that the 21-year-old had begun the year as a 200m specialist without a senior gold medal to his name; nor was it that he seemed different to other sprinters – all smiles and chicken nuggets where we expected a mass of

Gabriel Bouys/AFP/Getty Images, Mike Powell/Getty Images

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ego and muscle; and nor was it even that he arrived at the Games as the new world record holder over the shorter distance of 100m, having run 9.72s in New York three months earlier. All of that was interesting enough, sure, but it all became irrelevant as soon as the gun fired on that balmy evening of August 16, in the Bird’s Nest stadium. Because that was when Bolt flew to his first Olympic gold, setting another world best in 9.69s, and doing so in the most extravagantly showboating manner the world had ever seen on such a stage. The race

was over as a contest as soon as Bolt hit the front – but no one expected what was to follow, as he turned to the crowd, gestured wildly and proceeded to beat his chest, all before he had even come close to crossing the finish line. In that moment, all technique went out the window, closely followed by the rulebook and everything we had come to expect from world-class athletes. Bolt has run faster since, of course, and will surely do so again in London – but this is not a moment that demands context or justification. Who needs either when you can run so very fast?

The fall of Ben Seoul 1988

“I’ve just been handed a piece of paper here that, if it’s right, it’ll be the most dramatic story out of these Olympics or perhaps any others,” said Des Lynam in front of a cardboard cut-out BBC set. It was two days after the Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson had stunned the world by running 9.79s in the men’s 100m final – and the story Lynam went on to deliver was that he had tested positive for anabolic steroids. Johnson, as his great rival and defending champion Carl Lewis had been implying for months, was a cheat. Time would tell that the yellow-eyed Johnson was far from alone – it was later revealed that Lewis himself had tested positive for banned stimulants at that year’s US trials, while eventual silver-medallist Linford Christie nearly fell foul of a particularly nutritious cup of ginseng tea – but in an age of relative sporting innocence, Johnson’s crime sent shockwaves through a naive world. Thus, in 10 seconds of sport that defines a movement, did Johnson bring that age of innocence to a shuddering halt. Thus was our inherent faith in the integrity of our heroes compromised – not just in 1988, but for every summer to come. And thus did the Olympics begin its journey on the long road to redemption, which continues in London this year. “The most dramatic Olympic story,” said Lynam, and we agree.

7 Days OUR PICK OF THE ACTION FROM THE SPORTING WEEK AHEAD

APR HIGHLIGHTS 13–APR 19 » Football: FA Cup Semi Finals » p44 » Football: Champions League Semis » p46 » Tennis: Monte Carlo Rolex Masters » p48 » Horse Racing: Grand National » p50 » Rugby Union: Northampton v Leicester » p52

Paul Gilham/Getty Images

SUNDAY FORMULA 1 | CHINESE GRAND PRIx | SHANGHAI | BBC ONE & SKy SPORTS F1 8AM

Three weeks can be a long time in F1. That’s how long the teams have had to reflect on the opening races, try new things and tweak their designs before they arrive at the Shanghai International Circuit this weekend. McLaren will likely have spent some of that time wondering how they’re not top of the drivers’ championship, with Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton clearly given the benefit of the quickest car so far. That honour instead belongs, miraculously, to Fernando Alonso – thanks to his sodden win in Malaysia that will detract attention from the serious problems with the Ferrari car (above). McLaren will go into the weekend as favourites, however, having won three of the past four races in Shanghai.

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The circuit suits Hamilton, who won last year thanks to the high levels of tyre wear, according to Sky Sports F1 commentator David Croft. “It’s a really interesting track, this – long straights into hairpins to promote mistakes, and you’ve got overtaking and lots of degradation on the tyres,” he says. Co-commentator Anthony Davidson adds: “We always see good racing in China, and it’s a really important race for Formula 1. The track is very challenging, particularly turn one, which tightens up into turn two and is probably one of the hardest corners to master.” There have been strong performances from some unlikely challengers thus far – including Sergio Perez’s podium for Williams in Malaysia – and there are a lot of questions that need answering. Can McLaren find the consistency required to stay out in front? Can Mercedes match their qualifying performances on race day? What’s going on at Red Bull? And, perhaps the biggest of the lot... which channel should you watch it on?

Competition

Win! Unique football street art!

exico has given us plenty of great things – from the delicious street food of tacos and quesadillas, to the authentic street art from the walls of Mexico City. Another magnificent thing that Mexico has given us is tequila. But if you thought tequila was a harsh-tasting spirit that burns the roof of your mouth and has a worm in the bottle, think again. El Jimador is the the number one-selling tequila in Mexico, made from 100 per cent blue agave – the ingredient all the best-tasting tequilas should be made exclusively from. As such, el Jimador delivers an authentic taste like no other, whether enjoyed on its own or, like a true Mexican, in a Paloma – a refreshing tequila long drink with lime cordial, soda water, and a squeeze of lime. Now, el Jimador tequila has partnered with street artist Rich Simmons to bring that real Mexico flavour to life with a unique piece of football-themed street art exclusively for one lucky Sport magazine reader.

FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN, JUST ANSWER THE SIMPLE QUESTION BELOW:

What colour shirt do Mexico’s national football team play their home games in? A. Blue B. Green C. Red To enter, text MEXICO plus your answer A, B or C and your name to 81089

Texts cost 50p+ standard network charge. Competition closes at midnight on Thursday April 19. Entrants must be 18 or over. Full terms and competitions at sport-magazine.co.uk

iN 2012, wiNNiNg silver isN’t always seCoNd Best No momeNt is more goldeN thaN wiNNiNg golf’s greatest prize. as the world’s best athletes arrive on British shores for a summer festival of sport, golf’s ﬁnest will gather in England’s North west at the original major - the open Championship. experience the Championship for yourself at royal lytham & st annes, 15-22 July 2012. Tickets and ﬁne dining packages are available. Book now on 01334 460010 or at theopen.com. the opeN. tiCkets availaBle!

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7 Days

Derby days

Redeﬁning ‘studs-up’: Moyes applauds, Dalglish – not for the ﬁrst time this season – can’t bear to watch

Saturday Football | Fa Cup Semi Final: liverpool v everton | Wembley Stadium | eSpn 12.30pm They’ll be boarding coaches on both sides of Stanley Park early on Saturday morning, and fans of Liverpool and Everton will have much to contemplate during the long trip down south to Wembley. The red half will be reflecting on a pretty terrible league season, compounded by their ninth home draw last weekend against Aston Villa. Those in the blue of Everton have had more reason to cheer of late – some excellent January signings by the always astute David Moyes have revitalised the club’s season. They’ve risen from 14th, when the window closed, to seventh – above their crosstown rivals – and go into the game off the back of thumping Sunderland 4-0 over the bank holiday. Still, Liverpool go into the weekend’s first derby game as favourites, after two rare high points this season have come from comprehensive wins over Everton – the most recent inspired by a Steven Gerrard hat-trick a month ago. A third derby win of the year would be most welcome for fellow local hero Kenny Dalglish, who would probably trade the ignominy of finishing way below target in the league for two cup-final appearances in his first full season back in charge.

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Sunday Football | Fa Cup Semi Final:tottenham v ChelSea | Wembley Stadium | itv1 6pm Wembley plays host to its second derby semi final of the weekend, with Tottenham and Chelsea making the short trip across London with all manner of other things on their mind. Harry Redknapp’s side are clinging to the fourth Champions League spot after winning just one of their past eight league games, and they know that a turnaround in form needs to happen soon if they are to return to Europe’s top table. The FA Cup final, scheduled one week before the end of the domestic season, is a distraction that Harry could do without – but the Tottenham man is nothing if not a traditionalist, and he’d love to lead Spurs out on the big day. The biggest question mark over Chelsea, meanwhile, is whether their minds are in the right place. With a Champions League semi final against Barcelona just three days away, and a Russian billionaire boss who is desperate for European success, Roberto Di Matteo has to weigh up how much of a gamble to take come Sunday evening. Harry wants a Champions League spot next year, Di Matteo wants a Champions League final this year. Don’t expect it to stand in the way of what should be a great occasion, but the teamsheets come Sunday afternoon could make fascinating reading in themselves.

Killer Canaries He might not show it much, but Paul Lambert is thrilled with how his Norwich side are handling life in the top flight. With five games to go the Canaries sit mid-table and could finish higher yet if they can maintain the form that won them three points at White Hart Lane last weekend. That victory might prove to be a fatal blow to Tottenham’s hopes of clinching third spot. And Norwich could land another one on Saturday – this time with Manchester City’s title tilt the potential victim.

It seems like a lifetime ago that Roberto Mancini’s side steamrollered Norwich 5-1 at the Etihad to move five points clear of Manchester United at the top of the table. Five different City names adorned the scoresheet that day, with Mario Balotelli’s cheeky tap-in off his right shoulder perhaps the most memorable. Four months later, City are looking up at United from second place, with too many players struggling to finish the season as strongly as they started it. “You dust yourselves down and go again,” said Lambert after that beating – a sentiment Mancini might have to reiterate in a few weeks, by when City’s title dream has (likely) ended.

Around the grounds

SUNDERLAND v WOLVES Stadium of light, Saturday 3pm SWANSEA v BLACKBURN liberty Stadium, Saturday 3pm WEST BROM v QPR the Hawthorns, Saturday 3pm MANCHESTER UNITED v ASTON VILLA old trafford, Sunday 4pm (Sky Sports 1) ARSENAL v WIGAN Emirates Stadium, Monday 8pm (Sky Sports 1)

Jamie McDonald/Getty Images, Olly Greenwood/AFP/Getty Images Shaun Botterill/Getty Images, Matthew Peters/Man Utd via Getty Images

SATURDAY football | pREMIER lEaGUE: NoRWICH v MaN CItY | CaRRoW RoaD | SKY SpoRtS 2 12.45pM

7 Days Wednesday football | champions league semi final first leg: chelsea v barcelona | stamford bridge | itV1 7.45pm

Why we believe the Blues can beat Barcelona

Roberto’s reinvention

Since stepping into the hottest of hot seats that is the managerial role at Stamford Bridge, Roberto Di Matteo has masterminded the sort of turnaround in form normally reserved for Roy Race and his pals. The Italian has led Chelsea to eight wins – and just one defeat – in 11 games. And, more importantly for his future prospects, Di Matteo has proved that he isn’t scared to make changes, with his tactical nous having come to the fore on more than one occasion. Against Stoke, in his second game in charge, Di Matteo changed the formation and personnel after just 37 minutes to inspire Chelsea to a 1-0 win. Fast forward to Napoli and, having spotted a way to beat the Italian side through possession football, the man in charge sent his side out in an entirely unfamiliar formation that ultimately got the job done. Against Aston Villa, meanwhile, it was the reintroduction of Florent Malouda that led to the decisive third goal. Di Matteo may be inexperienced, but he certainly isn’t shirking the big decisions – and so far it’s paying dividends.

The problem is... As impressive as Di Matteo has been, the fact remains he is inexperienced. The Italian’s biggest challenge as a manager to date was getting through the previous round. Before that, it was the round before. He is learning as he goes, but in Pep Guardiola he is coming up against an experienced European mastermind.

1 2 3 4

Chelsea have the height

Now, we’re not here to condone long-ball football, physical bullying or negative tactics, but Barcelona are a diminutive bunch, with Gerard Pique, Carles Puyol and Sergio Busquets their only starting players (at least in their strongest side) standing taller than six feet. By contrast, Chelsea boast the aerial prowess of John Terry, Bratislav Ivanovic, David Luiz and Didier Drogba, while Fernando Torres and Frank Lampard both stand taller than most of Barcelona’s side. Size isn’t everything, sure, but the stats don’t lie and the Catalans have won roughly half the number of aerial battles as Chelsea in their matches this season. If Chelsea can win the midfield battle in the air and get good delivery on their setpieces – and with Juan Mata on the field, that is more than likely – their height could cause Barca more than a few problems. It could cost them goals.

The problem is... Barcelona are happy to lose aerial battles because they have the ball for practically the entirety of the rest of the game. Barca’s Champions League journey has seen them in possession for more than 70 per cent of each of their games. Yes, Chelsea have a height advantage, but they need to get the ball – and get the ball in dangerous areas – first.

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TUesday football | champions league semi final first leg: baYern munich v real madrid | allianZ arena | skY sports 2 7.45pm

They’re out for revenge

Tom Henning Ovrebo. The name of the official widely criticised for the way he handled Chelsea’s Champions League semi final second leg in 2009 still sends shivers down the spine of the Stamford Bridge faithful. Okay, to place the blame for the defeat (on away goals after a 1-1 draw) solely at the feet of a referee is short-sighted, but the Norwegian did turn down four penalty appeals, at least two of which were nailed on. Any one of those penalties could have put the Blues 2-0 up and, with Guus Hiddink seemingly having the edge over counterpart Pep Guardiola (at the time, at least), Chelsea would surely have gone on to finish the job. Remember, this was back before Barca were untouchable. They had lifted only five trophies in 10 years when they headed to the Bridge that night. By comparison, they have gone on to lift a further 13 trophies since, while Chelsea have gone backwards. Chelsea’s players will be riled up and out for revenge, with Didier Drogba chief among them. On the night in question, he had to be dragged from the pitch while still raging at the officials, the television cameras and anyone who would listen. Judging by that display, he will not have easily forgotten.

The problem is... The boys from Camp Nou have become an indomitable force since that night, while Chelsea’s side have just grown older. Wanting revenge is one thing, but this Barca team are no longer there for the taking.

Madrid march on? Los Merengues haven’t won the Champions League for 10 long seasons now, and they might not get a better chance for another decade. Jose mourinho has got his team working well in la liga, and they have carried this form over into the champions league – madrid have won all but one of their 10 games in the competition this season, conceding only six goals while scoring a ridiculous 32. they have a frightening attack – cristiano ronaldo and karim benzema have scored 15 goals between them in the champions league alone, and gonzalo higuain, mesut ozil and kaka aren’t bad either. still, progression against an equally frightening munich side is far

from a done deal. bayern have attacking flair of their own in the shape of franck ribery and arjen robben, with the frenchman in particularly good form. mario gomez is also firing; he has scored 38 goals this season, including 11 so far in the champions league. both teams love to attack with pace and verve, but bayern’s ill discipline could cost them as they try to contain madrid. the german side have committed more fouls than any team in the competition and collected 22 cards. You can be sure mourinho will send his side out armed with that knowledge as he looks to lift the champions league trophy for a third time – and with a third different club.

Clueless when Kalou-less Ian Kington/AFP/Getty Images, Clive Rose/Getty Images, Glyn Kirk/AFP/Getty Images, Paul Ellis/AFP/Getty Images, Pierre-Philippe Marcou/AFP/Getty Images

Salomon Kalou has come in for a lot of stick from Chelsea fans over the years, but the back-in-favour Ivorian has one hell of a positive influence on the team – the Blues haven’t lost a game this season in which Kalou has featured. When you consider that the Londoners have now lost 11 of their 49 games in all competitions, and Kalou has played in 17 of those 49, the stat just gets all the more impressive. And there’s a reason behind it. Kalou’s selection in the Chelsea line-up tends to mean more width, as he has usually been played on the left in a 4-1-4-1. This frees up the influential Mata, who was used on the left of a front three under Andre Villas-Boas, to move into a more central role. When he plays wide, the Spaniard has a tendency to cut inside that leaves Chelsea too narrow and devoid of options. This, in turn, forces their full backs to attack. Kalou’s touchline hugging gives the team a more natural balance, allows Mata the freedom to create and draws defenders on to him, which makes space for Torres. Now, we wouldn’t claim to know the game better than Di Matteo. But, you know, Robbie... pick Kalou on the left. You’re welcome.

The problem is... Chelsea – with or without Kalou – have yet to face Lionel Messi. No matter positive an effect Kalou has on the team, there’s little he can do to stop the man who has scored 60 goals so far this season.

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7 Days MONDAY > TEnniS | ATP MOnTE CArLO rOLEX MASTErS | MOnTE CArLO COUnTrY CLUB | SKY SPOrTS 1 9.30AM

Clay comfort for Rafa

Has a tournament ever been ruled by one player for so long as Monte Carlo has by Rafael Nadal? Not in the open era, no. The Spaniard has triumphed at the Monte Carlo Country Club every year since 2005, which – considering the knee problems that have plagued his career – is quite some feat. It was those same problems that forced Nadal to pull out of his Sony Ericsson Open semi final against Andy Murray in Miami at the end of last month. But, if anything’s capable of easing the strain on those painful tendons, it’s the arrival of the clay-court season – when Nadal typically sweeps aside all before him. That wasn’t quite the case last season, however, when Novak Djokovic became the first player to defeat Nadal on clay twice in the same year – beating him first in Madrid before proving it was no fluke in Rome a week later. The Serb enjoyed one of the sport’s greatest ever seasons in 2011 – and, having already picked up this year’s first Grand Slam in Australia and a Masters 1000 title in Miami, it seems he’s carrying on where he left off. With Murray also set to open his clay-court season in Monte Carlo, it’s just Roger Federer who’s missing from the top four. The Swiss world number three has already picked up three titles in 2012 and, after his surprise defeat to Andy Roddick in Miami, is taking a longer break before hitting the dirt in Madrid at the beginning of May. The build-up to the French Open starts here, though, where the past two finals have been all-Spanish affairs – and where Nadal could be crowned king for an eighth straight time. If the royal knees allow, that is.

SATURDAY rUGBY LEAGUE | CArnEGiE CHALLEnGE CUP FOUrTH rOUnD | SKY SPOrTS 1 3PM, BBC TWO 5.15PM

The Carnegie Challenge Cup, the oldest and most prestigious competition in rugby league, steps up a gear this weekend, when the big boys of the Stobart Super League join their semiprofessional brethren in the fourth round. For the first time Sky Sports, in addition to the BBC, will cover matches live. And their first televised game on Saturday throws up an intriguing local derby. Featherstone Rovers and Castleford Tigers are based just a few miles apart, but while Rovers are high flyers in the Championship, the Tigers are struggling at the wrong end of the Super League table. Add in Rovers’ Super League ambitions and Challenge Cup pedigree on both sides, and you have all the ingredients for a classic cup tie. The BBC’s featured game follows soon after and pits St Helens, who sacked their coach after a disastrous start to the season, against newly promoted Widnes Vikings. The Saints have been revitalised since the departure of Royce Simmons, but will be 48 | April 13 2012 |

Valery Hache/AFP/Getty Images, Christopher Lee/Getty Images

Feathers could fly

Try hard: the Tigers will be desperate to avoid another defeat like their recent basement battle loss to London Broncos

wary of a Vikings side that has struggled in the top flight. The Saints may have used the Vikings’ Stobart Stadium last season while their new ground was being built, but it didn’t have an artificial i-Pitch then, so Widnes will be hoping it will help them cause an upset. The tie of the round is probably Hull FC v Huddersfield Giants at the KC Stadium, with

both clubs flying high in Super League. There are two other all-Super League ties, with Leeds Rhinos facing a tricky home match against the Wakefield Trinity Wildcats and Hull Kingston Rovers at home to Catalans Dragons. London Broncos, looking to reach the Challenge Cup final for the first time since 1999, are also at home – to Championship club Dewsbury Rams on Sunday afternoon.

7 Days SaturDaY horse racing | john smith’s grand national | aintree | bbc one 4.15pm

Ballabriggs sails over the water on his way to Grand National glory 12 months ago

It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but the Grand National is undoubtedly one of the great spectacles of the UK sporting calendar. And, coming in the wake (see what we’ve done there?) of last weekend’s entertainingly shambolic Boat Race, it gives us yet another chance to see just why Clare Balding is the safest pair of hands in sports broadcasting. Too bad this could be the very last time we see her anchor what is the biggest single event in her chosen sport of the nags, however. With the Beeb losing all its remaining rights to cover horse racing to Channel 4 as of next year, there is no guarantee that Balding will make the switch with it – terrible news for the sport and its viewers, with the only consolation surely being the disappearance from our screens of the endlessly irritating Willie Carson. That’s one for us all to worry about in the future, however. For the present, we can enjoy Balding overseeing all the proceedings from Aintree on Saturday, with an absolutely fascinating renewal of the world’s greatest steeplechase set to baffle the millions of once-a-year punters strolling down to their local bookies with a tenner in their pockets and (probably misplaced) hope in their hearts.

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As ever with the National, there are plenty of great tales waiting to be told. Defending champion Ballabriggs is back for another crack: can he give the renowned McCain dynasty a sixth win in the race, and become the first horse since Red Rum to win two Nationals in a row while doing so? It’s 38 years since Rummy achieved that rare feat, of course – but it’s a full 74 years since Golden Miller became the one and only horse ever to win the Cheltenham Gold Cup and Grand National in the same season. Well, Synchronised, trained by Jonjo O’Neill and ridden by the incomparable AP McCoy, is bidding to do just that off top weight. The bookies are running scared, too – the nine-yearold is all set to start favourite on the big day. Elsewhere, Ruby Walsh is seeking a third win in the race aboard On His Own, while his sister Katie (Seabass) and Nina Carberry (Organisedconfusion) both hope to become the first female jockey ever to win the race. See right for our assessment of every horse taking part, and the very best of luck. Download the Racing Post Grand National Sweepstake now, from racingpost.com/sweepstakekit

It’s best to have more than one bet in the Grand National, as there’s nothing more annoying than watching your only selection fall at the first. My two for this year both ran in last year’s race and failed to get round, but that is not the negative you might expect. The likes of West Tip, Hedgehunter and Silver Birch all hit the deck in a previous National before going on to Aintree glory, and Black Apalachi would have joined that roll of honour had he not run up against Tony McCoy and Don’t Push It two years ago. Killyglen (pictured) jumped particularly well 12 months ago and still looked to be cantering when coming to grief four out. It’s hard to believe he would not have played a part in the finish, yet when he lines up against 2011 hero Ballabriggs he will be a massive 15lbs better off. He has always been at his best

racing left-handed on a flat track and won a big novice chase over Aintree’s Mildmay course a few years back, so the fact he was able to win last time out when going the wrong way on soft ground suggests he is at least as good as ever. If he gets round, he will go close. West End Rocker got no further than Becher’s first time in 2011, but has since proved a natural over the course, winning the Becher Chase by a street in December. Kept back for this since, he isn’t as grounddependent as some think and is another with a first-rate chance.

Images by Edward Whitaker, racingpost.com/photos

A Grand day out

Expert view with Paul Kealy of the Racing Post

In association with 1. Synchronised ***

2. Ballabriggs ****

3. Weird Al *

4. Calgary Bay ***

5. Neptune Collonges ***

Recent Gold Cup winner has the class, the stamina and the services of AP McCoy, but does he jump well enough for this stern test? We’re not sure.

Last year’s winner returns with a lot more weight to carry, but he’s a big horse who travels well and jumps brilliantly. Trained for this all year and should go well.

Stablemate of Ballabriggs has plenty of class, but was pulled up in the Gold Cup last time out and doesn’t convince as a likely winner of this marathon.

Comes to Aintree in great form and trainer Henrietta Knight is bullish about his chances – but fell in this 12 months ago and may be carrying too much weight.

Paul Nicholls’ sole runner in the 2012 renewal is a grand old grey who jumps well and stays all day, but he may find himself a bit too outpaced to challenge.

6. Alfa Beat **

7. Planet of Sound ***

8. Black Apalachi ***

9. Deep Purple *

10. Junior ***

Twice a winner of the Kerry National over in Ireland, but has poor recent form and looks too high in the weights to be a significant threat to the big boys.

Two promising runs this season mark the Philip Hobbs-trained 10-year-old out as one to watch, but probably for a place rather than as a potential winner.

Has run only once since finishing second in this two years ago, but loves Aintree and would relish softer ground. Now 13, so age is against him.

Returned with a good win at Sandown in December, but is best fresh and ran poorly at Kempton in February. Unlikely to be involved in the shake-up.

Has won at both Royal Ascot and the Cheltenham Festival, and been aimed at this all season – but he prefers faster ground and doesn’t jump overly well.

11. Chicago Grey ***

12. Tatenen *

13. Seabass ***

14. Shakalakaboomboom ***

15. West End Rocker ****

16. According to Pete **

Another horse prepared specifically for Aintree, and trainer Gordon Elliott won this in 2007. Will stay all day, but hold-up style will require luck in running.

Won the same race at Ascot two years in a row, but is a quirky sort and there must be huge doubts over whether he’ll last the full distance. Disregard.

Has won seven in a row for Ted Walsh (father of Ruby and winning trainer in 2000) and will be ridden by daughter Katie. Talented, but a real stamina doubt.

Sole representative for Nicky Henderson, but an improving stayer who hasn’t been out of the first two in four races this season. Definite chance.

Brought down in this last year, but won over the Aintree fences in November and has been kept back for this since. With a clear round, must go close.

In-form 11-year-old runs for trainer who had a brilliant Cheltenham Festival, but has enough weight and is on the small side for the big fences.

17. On His Own **

18. Always Right **

19. Cappa Bleu ****

20. Rare Bob *

21. Organisedconfusion **

22. Treacle ***

The chosen mount of Ruby Walsh, so not one to ignore – but the eight-year-old lacks experience and may prefer going right-handed. Aintree might not suit.

Third in the 2011 Scottish National, but has pulled up the last twice so wellbeing is an unknown. Contender on best form, but would require a leap of faith.

Returned from a long layoff in great form this season, running third in the Welsh National on terrible ground. Definitely one for the shortlist.

Irish raider who finished fifth to West End Rocker over the big fences in November, but was beaten a mile and looks up against it in this company.

Last year’s Irish National winner has had a quietly pleasing preparation, but seven-year-olds don’t win the National. One for next year, perhaps.

Another Irish challenger who has been aimed at this for some time and arrives in top form. Wouldn’t be a surprise to see him involved.

23. The Midnight Club *****

24. Mon Mome *

25. Arbor Supreme *

26. Sunnyhillboy ***

27. Killyglen ****

28. Quiscover Fontaine **

Nightmare passage when a beaten favourite in sixth last year, but returns on a lovely mark and can defy average recent form to win at a very nice price.

Shock 100/1 winner three years ago, but is now 12 years old and has only one decent run from five outings this season. Not one for us this time round.

Not without ability, but has tipped up in two attempts at this race and doesn’t look likely to make it third time lucky. One of the easier horses to rule out.

Won a big handicap at Cheltenham last month and will relish the extended trip, but tends to come from the back – and that is hard to do at Aintree.

Was going well enough when falling four out in this last year, and likes Aintree. Has a nice weight, and jockey Robbie Power has won the race. Chance.

Fourth in last year’s Irish National, but is the least fancied of Willie Mullins’ three runners and hasn’t run over fences this season. Probably not.

29. Tharawaat *

30. Becauseicouldntsee ***

31. Le Beau Bai **

32. State of Play ***

33. Always Waining **

34. Swing Bill *

Outsider who hasn’t been sighted in four races since winning at Galway back in October. Hard to make a serious case for him, so we’re not going to.

Fell early in this last year, but is normally a reliable jumper and ran a very nice prep at Cheltenham last month. Front-running style suits this race, too.

The softer the better for the Welsh National winner, but he isn’t the biggest and doesn’t convince as the type to take to Aintree’s big fences.

The 12-year-old only runs once a year, but it’s always in this race and he has been placed for the past three years. Will give you a run for your money again.

Two-time course winner over a shorter trip, but stamina doubt over four and a half miles. May not run if the ground gets too soft, so hold fire for now.

Likeable grey, but pulled up over the big fences in November and no reason to believe he’ll do any better this time round. Dismiss with confidence.

35. Postmaster *

36. Giles Cross ***

37. Midnight Haze **

38. Vic Venturi *

39. In Compliance *

40. Viking Blond *

Returned to action with a win in a hunter chase at Ludlow last month, but the National is a very different proposition and this horse ain’t good enough.

Another horse who would love very soft ground, and is a sound jumper who likes to lead. If getting into an early rhythm, could prove tough to pass.

Lightly raced 10-year-old who ran passably at the Cheltenham Festival, but probably not in the right class to figure here. Just about two stars, mind.

Likeable veteran has won over the fences, but failed to finish in two outings at the National and is now getting on a bit. Very much not a major contender.

Irish-trained 12-year-old plugged round in his own time last year and will very likely do so again. If you get him in the sweepstake, ask for your money back.

Nigel Twiston-Davies has won the National twice as a trainer, but this horse is too inexperienced for a test like this and we can’t be having him at any price.

41. Hello Bud *

42. Neptune Equester *

43. Any Currency *

44. Our Island *

The Verdict

The oldest horse in the line-up has a good record at Aintree, but at 14 years of age it would need a miracle for him to win. Not guaranteed a run, either.

With a maximum of 40 runners, the nine-year-old isn’t certain to make the cut – but he doesn’t look quite good enough anyway. Yet another to rule out.

A promising stayer two years ago, but has largely disappointed this season and looks unlikely to line up on Saturday. Do not waste any currency on this.

Currently the final reserve, but would need four horses to come out and that looks a long shot indeed. Stay in your box and munch a carrot, son.

Twelve months on from tipping up The Midnight Club, we’re going to do exactly the same again. The 11-year-old can provide a second win in the race for trainer Willie Mullins, with Cappa Bleu, Ballabriggs and West End Rocker filling the places.

John Smith’s Grand National: all the runners

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7 Days SaTuRday RUGBY UNION | AVIVA PREMIERSHIP: NORTHAMPTON v LEICESTER | FRANKLIN’S GARDENS | ESPN 3PM

SaTuRday TRIATHLON | ITU WORLD TRIATHLON SERIES | SYDNEY | BRITISH EUROSPORT, WEDNESDAY 3.30PM

Under starter’s orders

The first round of the 2012 ITU World Triathlon Series takes on extra importance this year, because it’s one of the final opportunities for athletes to qualify for London 2012. With world number one Alistair Brownlee still recovering from an Achilles tear and his brother Jonathan (who won silver behind Alistair in last year’s Grand Final) keeping him company at home in Yorkshire, it’s a chance for other GB athletes to step up. Will Clarke (above) is one of those looking to nab the third spot in London

BEST OF THE REST

FRIDAY

GOLF Maybank Malaysian Open Day 2, Kuala Lumpur, Sky Sports 1 7am AFL Carlton v Collingwood, Melbourne Cricket Ground, ESPN 10.30am

Squeaky scrum time

52 | April 13 2012 |

FOOTBALL French League Cup Final: Lyon v Marseille, Stade de France, ESPN 8pm FOOTBALL La Liga: Levante v Barcelona, Estadi Ciutat de València, Sky Sports 1 9pm

SUNDAY FENCING World Championships, Kiev, British Eurosport 12.30pm FOOTBALL Championship: Southampton v Reading, St Mary’s Stadium, Sky Sports 1 7.45pm

their grasp on fourth place. The absence of Dylan Hartley and the aforementioned Clark won’t help the Saints, but the pack still possesses a lot of punch, while the form of Chris Ashton, Ben Foden and the unsung George Pisi will have their hopes high. Leicester, meanwhile, know that victory would see them virtually assured of a playoff place, with a top-two finish (and thus a home semi final) very much in sight. The generous decision to allow Ben Youngs to play after his own recent misdemeanours mean Tigers come into the game at full strength, and they will know that the big boys up front can rumble through any opponent. Expect an absolute belter at Franklin’s Gardens on Saturday.

RUGBY UNION Aviva Premiership: Sale Sharks v Bath Rugby, Edgeley Park, Sky Sports 2 7.45pm

SATURDAY RUGBY UNION Super Rugby: Crusaders v Stormers,Rugby League Park, Sky Sports 1 8.35am

CYCLING Amstel Gold Race, Holland, British Eurosport 2pm CRICKET West Indies v Australia: Second Test Day 1, Port of Spain, Sky Sports 2 2.55pm BASEBALL MLB: NY Yankees v LA Angels, Yankee Stadium, ESPN 1am

MONDAY BASKETBALL NBA: New Jersey Nets v Miami Heat, Prudential Center, ESPN 12.30am

TUESDAY FOOTBALL Scottish Cup: Aberdeen v Hibernian, Pittodrie, Sky Sports 1 12.15pm

BASKETBALL NBA: LA Lakers v San Antonio Spurs, Staples Center, ESPN 3.30am

FOOTBALL La Liga: Real Madrid v Sporting, Bernabeu, Sky Sports 1 7pm

GOLF Volvo China Open Day 1, Tianjin, Sky Sports 2 7am

THURSDAY

David Rogers/Getty Images, Richard Heathcote/Getty Images

With three games to go, things are getting very tight in the race for the Premiership playoffs, meaning Leicester’s visit to Northampton tomorrow is a must-win for both sides – as if it needed any more hype. Tensions are already high after Saints skipper Calum Clark was cited after an incident during the recent LV= Cup final against the Tigers, in which hooker Rob Hawkins, trapped in a ruck, had his elbow broken after his arm was yanked and hyperextended at an angle. Not that this longstanding rivalry needed stoking. The home side currently lie four points behind Leicester and just three ahead of Exeter, so victory here is essential to keeping

alongside the Brownlees, and he could go a long way towards doing that with a good result in Sydney this weekend. Britain’s female world number one Helen Jenkins is also getting her 2012 season under way in Sydney. But, with her Olympic spot all but confirmed, the race is simply a chance to gauge where her winter training has left her. With the world’s top 10 ranked women among the 65 starters on Saturday, Jenkins’ Olympic credentials are guaranteed a thorough examination.

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P56 A sensational pair (of headphones), you’ll agree

Extra time Gadgets

Making the most of your time and money

Head turners If music be the food of love, then these are the fancy plates that only come out on special occasions: six of the best over-ear headphones...

1 Marshall Major Foldable Headphones

From famed amp-makers Marshall, these cans are perfect for any budding rock star. They also fold away, so you can stick them in your bag for the commute while you’re waiting for your big break.

£80 | qvcuk.com

2 Beats by Dr Dre Studio Headphones

At the other end of the musical (and economic) spectrum is this lovely pair by Dr Dre, whose PhD is clearly in ‘audio engineering and design’ or something...

£280 | beatsbydre.com

3 Zumreed X2 Hybrid Headphones

Courts dragging their feet over that Asbo you wanted? Find your commute isn’t quite confrontational enough? These ‘phones turn into speakers at the touch of a button - great for sharing your music with others, whether they want it or not. £120 | red5.co.uk

4 Philips SHL5800 Headband

Soft, comfortable, luxuriant – these headphones have more in common with a sofa than anything else, including the swanky red finish and memory foam.

£80 | philips-shop.co.uk

5 Grado SR225i Open Back Headphones £270 | grado.co.uk

6 BlueAnt Embrace Stereo Headphones The sleekest of the bunch on display here, these headphones are designed to be used with an iDevice – and, as such, have a remote built into the cable. £130 | amazon.co.uk

54 | April 13 2012 |

James Lincoln, jameslincoln.co.uk

Designed for high-fidelity audio reproduction in your living room, perhaps while cradling a glass of something alcoholic in front of a roaring fire.

Extra time Kate Upton

Upton girl

Skullcandy

n Wayne’s World 2, Wayne awakes from dreaming about meeting a weird, naked Indian and Jim Morrison to find his best friend Garth at his door brandishing a copy of Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue. “Oh my god,” Wayne proclaims. “It’s a sign!” The editor had a similar revelation here at Sport this week, after seeing Kate Upton on the cover of the 2012 edition of that very same title. “Oh my god,” he proclaimed, holding the magazine aloft. “It’s a sign! We will bring back the girl page. Oh yes. We will bring back the girl page.” A tenuous return, you might think. But not only has the 19-year-old, billed as ‘the next big supermodel’, graced the cover of SI, she is also an accomplished equestrian, having achieved three APHA Reserve World Championships before the age of 18. In February, Upton was also a co-grand marshal at the 54th annual NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Daytona 500, while an ad featuring her eating a hamburger was banned from being screened during the Super Bowl. And, last month, when she took in a basketball game between Oklahoma City Thunder and the Phoenix Suns, it was suggested by NBC Sports that Upton was the reason shooting percentages were way below average in the basket under which she was sitting. Both teams combined to shoot just 39 per cent, compared with 49 per cent at the other end. We don’t blame the players. They were probably thinking the same thing we all are: ‘She will be mine. Oh yes. She will be mine.’ Schwing! Kate Upton is an ambassador for Skullcandy

56 | April 13 2012 |

| 57

Extra time Grooming

Something old, something new

The fragrance

The moiSTuriSer

Natio for Men SPF 30+ Face Moisturiser

Quite the marriage this week, as the very newest scent from Hugo Boss meets a Spanish fragrance 100 years its senior £49 for 100ml

Up to 80 per cent of skin ageing is caused by the sun, we read the other day, so this new moisturiser from Aussie brand Natio, with its SPF 30+, caught our eye. It’s designed to deflect ultra-violet radiation and thus reduce damage to your skin, with nourishing plant extracts included to hydrate and smooth as it goes. A very useful addition to your grooming cupboard (you have one, right?), because not every weekend in the UK is a bank holiday weekend. debenhams.com

Hugo Boss Bottled. Sport. The Hugo Boss Bottled series has been helping men smell fresh and fragrant for some time, and this latest addition to the family is set to follow in the very same footsteps. The new Bottled Sport (we’re doing away with the superfluous full stops in the name, as they really should too) is not the first men’s fragrance to be given the inevitably sporty title in 2012 – and, with Issey Miyake due to follow suit next month, it won’t be the last. Its distinctly citrusy top notes, featuring a sharp combination of grapefruit, yuzu zest and pink peppercorn, should enable it to stand out from the crowd where its name doesn’t, however. With an ad campaign starring Jenson Button sure to ramp up sales, Bottled Sport is set to be a spring success regardless of how good the scent actually is. That said, it’s very clean and very fresh – and that’s enough for our vote. boots.com

The birThday Agua de Colonia While the world continues to go crazy over the 100-year anniversary of a poorly designed boat whose sinking led to the death of many, we prefer to doff our caps to a rather more successful centenary. That of the Alvarez Gomez scent Agua de Colonia,

£9.20

The faShion to be precise – a fresh fragrance first blended in Spain back in 1912, and whose striking canary-yellow packaging now adorns a number of associated products, including bath salts, deodorant and even a scented candle. So feliz cumpleaños from us. carterandbond.com

From £60

Belts from Elliot Rhodes If you’re anything like us, then you buy a new belt about as often as Halley’s Comet passes by your bedroom window. You find one you like, and wear it with everything – regardless of how odd it looks. Enter Elliot Rhodes, whose innovative interchangeable system employs a popper device

58 | April 13 2012 |

to allow you to personalise any one of their top-class leather numbers (the full range comprises more than 200) with as many stylish and contrasting buckles as you like. Versatility personified, and all there for you at one of their three London stores. Worth a visit, if only for the sensational whiff of leather. elliotrhodes.com

MANY ROADS LEAD TO THE MEDAL, BUT ALL BEGIN WITH A GREAT START. SIR CHRIS HOY, 4X OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALLIST

NOTHING BEATS A GREAT START. facebook.com/GilletteUK

Extra time Entertainment

trouble ahead

FILM

College kids are off to a cabin, the Titanic’s setting sail for the US and John McClane’s in the area – this is only going to end badly bLu-ray

Die Hard Quadrilogy The most amazing thing about John McClane’s illustrious work at the NYPD is that, after foiling three international plots pretty much single-handedly, and risking his life time and time again, he’s only had one promotion in 19 years. Maybe it’s because he turns up to work wearing only a vest. Watch all four parts of Bruce Willis’ furious portrayal of career stagnation in high definition with this boxset, a must-buy for die-hard Die Hard fans. Yippee-ki-yay, erm... readers.

dvd

The Cabin in the Woods Written by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard (the team behind Buffy), this is the story of five college kids who go for a holiday to a remote cabin and find things going a bit awry. Okay, hardly reinventing the wheel, but it’s here that the film takes its journey into new territory, as time and again the classic horror scenario is twisted and turned.

bOOK

The cast, led by Chris Hemsworth (or Thor, as he’s better known) are more affable than you’d expect from the traditional ‘cheerleader/geek/jock’ mix, while the shocks and scares are brilliantly balanced with laughs, a bit of drama and a believable central plot. In terms of breaking new ground in the horror genre, this is a must-see.

theatre

Calico Joe John Grisham

Titanic The Titanic went down 100 years ago tomorrow, and Downton Abbey writer Julian Fellowes pens this fresh look at the disaster. The budget isn’t James Cameron-esque, so Fellowes chooses to focus instead on characters across the social spectrum, as the story builds over three episodes – each with a ‘ship going down’ cliffhanger – before a finale ties it together as (spoiler alert!) the boat slips away.

60 | April 13 2012 |

Grisham steps out of court to follow Warren Tracey, an MLB pitcher whose fastball ends the career of a talented, likeable rookie, and his distant son’s attempts to reunite the players years after the incident. An emotive father-son tale, with baseball a fitting backdrop.

MusIc California 37 Train

Misterman From miserable drunk Dwain Flynn to blasphemous flirt Mrs Cleary, the people of Irish town Inishfree have lost their way – and it’s up to fierce evangelist Thomas Magill to help them see the light. This is the premise of Enda Walsh’s new play, which opens next Wednesday at London’s Lyttelton Theatre for a limited run. A word of warning, though – if you’re not a Cillian Murphy fan, this probably isn’t for you. Why? Because the 28 Days Later star plays every one of the characters on stage. Every single one.

They’re best known for 2001 hit Drops of Jupiter, so it will come as a surprise to some that this is the California band’s sixth studio album. Reliving their early acoustic days, the music leans on the vocals of lead Patrick Monahan to carry a soft rock feel. Feels Good At First and Drive By will be toe-tapping favourites from a strong album.