Sport magazine - Issue 262

Issue 262 | June 29 2012

From Les ALpes to De ZwArte: An A to Z oF the tour De FrAnce

B OT HGUO NE TSOSN SO’IIT’S TT’ESVNOT NAOHTI , EENOUGH ENBON UA GCHI TO TTOSEBE BBE ETHE THE BEST BEST I C CAN AN BE, BE, I HAVE HAVE TO TO B BE E RE VE F O T SE B E HT THE HE BEST BEST O OFFHEEVERYONE SIVDENR EV YONE AC KR A| MARK MARK CAVENDISH, CAYVKESND MIASEHTTEAM TEAM SKY SKY

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issuE 262, junE 29 2012 Radar 05 The great finals Ahead of Sunday’s Euro climax, our favourite ever, er, climaxes.

Been some good ones, too

06 The future, sort of We step inside the Nike House of Innovation

08 In The Moment

A new book of amazing sports photography. Think coffee table

36

10 The game of the Games We select our favourite bits from the official game of the 2012 Olympics

Cover illustration by Neil Stevens, crayonfire.co.uk

oFeatures this coming week

18 A-Z of the Tour de France

18

All you need to know about the greatest cycle race in the world, and the favourite is a Brit...

31 Bradley Wiggins

60

... for it is he. Will he land our first ever Yellow Jersey?

36 What now for England?

Ignominious defeat against Italy, but can this England team actually become any good?

40 Pete Waterfield Tom Daley’s diving partner talks exclusively to Sport

Extra Time 52 Gadgets The new Microsoft Surface – part tablet, part laptop

54 Viktoriya Konoplyanka A Ukrainian WAG. Yes, we know they’re not in the final. So?

58 Grooming Your stag weekend survival kit: vodka not included

60 Entertainment

The Amazing Spider-Man (above) plus an Edvard Munch exhibition.

We’re a broad church | June 29 2012 | 03

*p06 – The cycling artistry of Neil Stevens

Radar

*p08 – The sporting imagery of Tom Jenkins

*p10 – London 2012: the official game

Final countdown

They have a rep for disappointing, but fear not: we pick the fab four major international finals that have thrilled us in the past 30 years 2004 Copa America: Brazil 2-2 Argentina César Delgado so nearly won this cracking final when he put Argentina 2-1 up on 87 minutes, but Brazil’s mighty ‘Emperor’ Adriano produced a stunning turn and volley three minutes into injury time to level. He whipped his shirt off to reveal a then-rippling torso (it still ripples, but in a far less athletic way) and soon the riot police were running on to the pitch to separate the teams. Brazil went on to win the title 4-2 on penalties.

2000 Euro Championship: France 2-1 Italy They trailed Italy 1-0 (a goal made in part by a superb backheel from Francesco Totti), but

world champions France had the firepower to fight back. Sylvain Wiltord, David Trezeguet and Robert Pires all came off the bench to join Zinedine Zidane and Thierry Henry, allowing the French to finally break Italian resolve. Wiltord scored four minutes into injury time, setting up extra time and Trezeguet’s spectacular golden goal blast.

1986 World Cup: Argentina 3-2 W Germany No one player has ever dominated a World Cup the way Diego Maradona did in Mexico ‘86, but there were five different scorers in the final – and not one of them was Maradona.

Argentina were up 1-0 at the break, but it was

1984 Africa Cup: Cameroon 3-1 Nigeria Cameroon’s first Africa Cup of Nations win was a feast of great goals and ridiculously tiny shorts. The pick of the strikes was the 79th-minute goal that put Cameroon 2-1 ahead, Theophile Abega going on a mazy dribble before exchanging a neat one-two with Roger Milla – then allegedly just 31 and with his best years very much still to come – and slotting past the keeper. Ernest Ebongue netted a cracker five minutes later to send the commentators suitably berserk.

Euro 2012 final Our deadlines meant we went to press before knowing the result of the two semi finals, making a preview for Sunday’s match a bit tricky.

One thing we do know, however, is that England won’t be in it – and you can read our plan for the England team’s future on page 36

Staff/AFP/Getty Images

the second half that electrified. Jorge Valdano made it 2-0 before a great German team fought back with goals from Karl-Heinz Rummenigge and Rudi Voller. Then, on 84 minutes, Jorge Burruchaga was put through by a sublime pass from – yes – Maradona, to score a fine winner.

| June 29 2012 | 05

Radar

Pedalling prints

T

his wonderful new series of Tour de France illustrations from artist Neil Stevens gets a big ‘oui’ (please don’t snigger, this isn’t ‘Allo, ‘Allo) from us. The warmly colourful image on the left is of Stage 16 of the world’s most famous road race, but the British illustrator’s Colourvelo series isn’t

One foot in the future M

arty McFly may have visited the future, but all he found there was that his mom had gone and had breast implants (but, hey, at least she’d stopped hitting on him). If only he’d popped into the sports section of a department store, McFly might have encountered something similar to the futuristic new Nike House of Innovation, which opens this Monday at Selfridges, London.

Here you can try out and buy the latest cutting-edge Nike projects, such as the much hyped FuelBand and the lightweight Flyknit footwear, and you can even trial the new Nike+ range of basketball, training and running shoes via an immersive, video game-style experience on giant LCD screens. Frankly, it’s got everything apart from working hoverboards. For now.

NIKE House of Innovation at Selfridges, Oxford Street, July 1 to August 12

06 | June 29 2012 |

just about the upcoming Tour. The artwork covers all angles of cycling, from Olympic events to typographic prints to portraits of riders, such as the great ‘Cannibal’ Eddy Merckx (below). They’re perfectly timed for an exciting summer of cycling, and make an appropriately dashing addition to any wall.

Neil Stevens prints cost from £30, crayonfire.co.uk

Radar

A city, united F

ans of insightful sports photography, rejoice. Today sees the opening of a free exhibition from one of the UK’s premier snappers, Tom Jenkins, with a book also out this week. Jenkins has an ability to capture what is generally called ‘the moment’.

Our favourite isn’t a revealing photo of Jonny Wilkinson, Zinedine Zidane or even one of a sumo wrestler called ‘The Dumptruck’, but this image from Old Trafford in 2008.

It may appear at first like a rather tricky Where's Wally? image, but it’s actually taken on the 50th anniversary of the Munich air crash.

Despite the fierce rivalry between Manchesters United and City, this photo poignantly illustrates how supporters stood together to pay their respects to those lost in the tragedy.

In The Moment: The Sports Photography of Tom Jenkins (Guardian Books, £30). Exhibition at Kings Place, June 29 to August 31, kingsplace.co.uk

Win! £2,000 of cycling gear with the Sport magazine iPad app!

S

port magazine’s free iPad app is now on Newsstand, so it’s even easier to get your weekly fix of the best previews and big-name interviews. The Sport app is quick to download, easy to use and has great added content, including video interviews and extra photography. It’s totally interactive and, best of all, it’s completely free!

To celebrate our move to Newsstand, we’ve teamed up with online cycle store Wiggle to offer our iPad readers an exclusive competition. As the UK’s number-one cycle shop, Wiggle is giving Sport app readers the chance to win more than £2,000 of cycling gear, including a Verenti Rhigos.04 bike worth more than £1,000, plus top-quality kit such as shorts, tops, sunglasses, jackets and more.

For your chance to emulate Bradley Wiggins (interviewed on page 31) and become a cycling king, download the free Sport app through Newsstand and answer the simple question in this week’s iPad issue.

Competition closes at midnight on Thursday July 5 2012.

Full terms and conditions at www.sport-magazine.co.uk

08 | June 29 2012 |

Tom Jenkins

For your chance to win, download the Sport app now

Radar

Let the game begin

We have fond childhood memories of Daley Thompson's Decathlon, but it was a bit confusing that Daley was represented by a bright white pixel man.

Visuals have come a long way since, and the mo-cap used to track athletes for this game results in supremely realistic animation.

As the official London 2012 game is released today, we pick out our favourite features

Say goodbye to button-mashing: the controls for the London 2012 game rely more on timing and tactics.

In the swimming, for example, you have to control the dive, the breakaway under water, then get into a rhythmic pattern of left and right analogue movements to reflect the swimmers’ actual strokes.

Alternatively, you can – for the first time in an official Olympic game, we’re reliably informed – play with motion control. Dozens of the events, including archery, kayaking, the javelin and cycling, are created with PS3 Move and Xbox Kinect in mind.

Variety is key. Games like this are naturally a series of interconnected mini-games, but with 40+ events, repetitiveness is a danger. By including events such as the trampoline and table tennis, which play in different ways to the athletics, you and your terrifying adversary (or your three-year-old cousin with developing motor skills) have plenty of choice.

London 2012: The Official Video Game of the Olympic Games is out today for PC, PS3 and Xbox 360

Cover story N

ot sure if we mentioned it – we may have, once or twice – but our 2011 Paul Gascoigne cover was nominated for Cover of the Year at the prestigious PPA Awards. Well, it only went and won. We’re incredibly proud, so a huge thank you to you if you voted for us (or even if you didn’t), to photographer Jon Enoch and to Gazza himself, of course.

McTough T

he endurance event designed by a rather sadistic member of the Special Forces, Tough Mudder, arrives in Scotland this July.

Their 10 to 12-mile obstacle courses tax your fitness and mental fortitude with high walls, muddy trenches, four-foot flames and ice-cold water. It’s all but impossible to complete individually, so teamwork is essential. Hey, at least you’ll have the rugged Drumlanrig Castle landscape to inspire you onward.

Held on Ju1y 14-15, enter at toughmudder.co.uk

10 | June 29 2012 |

Issue 230 | October 21 2011

Radar Editor’s letter

www.sport-magazine.co.uk @sportmaguk facebook.com/sportmagazine

Winner of PPA Cover of the Year Award 2012 Sport magazine Part of UTV Media plc 18 Hatfields, London SE1 8DJ Telephone: 020 7959 7800 Fax: 020 7959 7942 Email: firstname.lastname@ sport-magazine.co.uk Editorial Editor-in-chief: Simon Caney (7951) Deputy editor: Tony Hodson (7954) Associate editor: Nick Harper (7897) Art editor: John Mahood (7860) Deputy art editor: William Jack (7861) Digital designer: Chris Firth Subeditor: Graham Willgoss (7431) Senior writers: Sarah Shephard (7958), Alex Reid (7915) Staff writers: Mark Coughlan (7901), Amit Katwala (7914) Picture editor: Julian Wait (7961) Production manager: Tara Dixon (7963) Contributors: David Lawrenson

No Cole: Ashley misses from the spot – and sends England out in the last eight again

Resetting the meter Finally, finally, finally, we seem to understand that England are not likely to win tournaments

F Editor-in-chief Simon Caney @simoncaney

or as long as I can remember, and even before I was born, back in the dim and distant past, expectation levels around the England team were always somewhat at odds with reality.

Take the very first World Cup, back in 1930 in Uruguay. England was not even part of FIFA at that time, for various reasons – one of which was that we were clearly so much better than anyone else in the world at our game that it was all a bit pointless. So we didn’t enter in 1930.

There’s probably still someone at the FA claiming that we ‘would have won it’ had we been there. Indeed, England didn’t enter the World Cup until 1950, and did so amid much fanfare – until they were humiliated by the part-timers of the USA and sent home with their tails between their legs. Maybe we should have seen the signs then.

And so it goes on: every time England actually make it to a major tournament, we have expected them to win it. Not get to a final, or even a semi, but actually win it. Sven-Goran Eriksson was vilified when he kept getting us to the quarter finals of World Cups. Maybe history will be kinder to him. It should be.

And yet, it strikes me that the mood of the nation has changed in the past few weeks. Despite being played off the park

by Italy, England returned home to a reasonable reception, if not the obligatory MBE (though presumably every member of the team already has one of those).

The reason being that they tried their best. The skill levels were some way below most other teams, but they tried. They ran, and tackled, and showed some team spirit. When they lost, we shrugged and said: ‘Ah well, it happens. The best team won.’ And it was rather refreshing.

I chatted to a former Ryder Cup player this week. He’s no longer on the professional tour, and he doesn’t miss it one bit – after more than 30 years of hard graft on the golf course, he found he was struggling to even make a cut, let alone win tournaments. There was no bitterness in his voice, just a resigned acceptance that, in this day and age, golf is all about distance and less about art. It’s a shame: sometimes things move on, but you wouldn’t necessarily call it progress.

Just a week after the death of Tom Maynard, another sportsman of outstanding promise has died. Jockey Campbell Gillies was just 21.

His ride on Brindisi Breeze was one of the highlights of this year’s Cheltenham Festival, but it is desperately sad to watch a replay of that race from March and realise that neither horse nor rider are still with us.

Commercial Agency Sales Director: Iain Duffy (7991) Business Director (Magazine and iPad): Paul Brett (7918) Business Director: Kevin O’Byrne (7832) Advertising Manager: Steve Hare (7930) New Business Sales Executive: Hayley Robertson (7904) Brand Creative Director: Adam Harris (7426) Distribution Manager: Sian George (7852) Distribution Assistant: Makrum Dudgeon Head of Online: Matt Davis (7825) Head of Communications: Laura Wootton (7913) Managing Director: Adam Bullock PA to Managing Director: Sophia Koulle (7826) Colour reproduction: Rival Colour Ltd Printed by: Wyndeham Group Ltd © UTV Media plc 2012 UTV Media plc takes no responsibility for the content of advertisements placed in Sport magazine £1 where sold Hearty thanks this week to: Rob Jorgensen, David Kenning... and everyone who voted for us to win the award at the top of the page

Reader comments of the week @simoncaney gd piece on Klitschko 2day both of them are class. They’ve had no one to fight for 8 years unfortunately so don’t get the credit.

@simoncaney great read on WK, true class, likeable and hard as bloody nails.

Chis & haye might want to take note... I am sure they won’t.

@simoncaney Loved the Wimbledon Top 10, but no Sampras-Agassi in ’99?

Agassi was all-time great that day and still lost in 3.

Unbelievable.

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@monkey6170 Twitter

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@The_Catch_IV Twitter

12 | June 29 2012 |

So glad you mentioned Tom Maynard in today’s editors letter... A great young talent whose full potential will never be known. RIP Tom.

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Good analogy @simoncaney: England football team like new girlfriend, full of promise so we forgive the things that will later annoy us.

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Radar Frozen in time

Ladies and gentleman Proof here that, in the wrong hands, Sex Panther cologne can have truly devastating results. A dab under each ear and old Reg here was beating them off with a rolled-up copy of the Royal Ascot form guide. Cue the Benny Hill music, please.

14 | June 29 2012 |

| 15

From the nosebleed climbs of the alps to the man they called 'De Zwarte', sport proudly presents an alphabetical lowdown on the most gruelling road race on the planet... illuSTRATIONS BY Neil Stevens crayonfire.co.uk

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Tour de France is for Bradley Wiggins

is for ALPS

Team GB and Team Sky head coach Dave Brailsford assesses Bradley Wiggins' Tour chances...

Surely nowhere on the route reflects the gruelling, noble nature of the Tour better than the Alps? Just man and machine measuring their mettle against majestic mountains. This year's route includes six alpine stages, but eschews the famous Alpe d'Huez. In its place is the equally tough Col du Grand Colombier, a mile-high climb making its Tour de France debut in Stage 10 this year. It's one of the toughest ascents in the region, a gruelling 17km of uphill pedalling made even harder by the gusts of wind raking across the exposed summit, and a fitting place to start the hopefully not-quite-so-trying marathon that is our Tour de France A to Z.

“Crashing out of last year's Tour was a real shame for Bradley because he was in such great shape – but we learned a lot as a team. Then for him to come back and do what he did at the Vuelta and then the worlds was just testimony to how far he's come in terms of his mental strength. It seems to be that in the past year to 18 months, all the experiences Bradley has had – good and bad – have come together and clicked and made sense. His approach to the sport now is fantastic.

“He's probably one of the most, if the not the most, coachable athletes we have – he really gets the sessions and adheres to them. His compliance to different sessions, ability to absorb workload and understand why, to train through fatigue, and his attention to detail with his diet and weight management and everything else is just off the scale.

“He's seeing the rewards of that now. His mental robustness has improved, and I think he deserved great credit for what he did last year.

That bit between crashing in the Tour and coming back – that six or seven weeks in between – tells you more about Bradley Wiggins than any of his performances. Out of sight of everybody at home, and in pain just after an operation, and he had the fortitude of mind and body to be able to work so hard to come back again. That's something special – and that's what sets the great guys apart.”

Turn to page 31 for our chat with Bradley Wiggins

is for Champsélysées The most famous of streets hosts the final stages of each year's Tour.

It can be, at times, processional (with finishing places decided), but it is sometimes dramatic, with victory snatched from the jaws of defeat and vice versa. Even if the prize jerseys have already been as good as tailored, the sprinters will battle for the honour of being first over the line as they complete eight laps from l'Arc de Triomphe to the Place de la Concorde and back. Mark Cavendish will be looking to make it four wins in a row on this stage – and he's a man who usually gets what he wants.

is for the Dreyfus affair Not quite the 1920s spy thriller it sounds like, but just as intriguing. Captain Alfred Dreyfus was a Jewish artillery officer in the French army who was wrongly convicted of treason in 1894 after allegedly leaking French military secrets to the Germans. It was a hot topic in turn-of-the-century France, and Le Velo, the country's leading sports daily, was firmly on the side of the young soldier. The case dragged on despite the identification of the real culprit (who was subsequently acquitted in a rigged trial), and a group of businessmen who advertised in Le Velo disagreed vehemently with its editor, Pierre Giffard, on the issue.

In 1899, one of them, wealthy motor car company owner Marquis Jules-Albert de Dion, got involved in a bit of a rumble between the Dreyfusards and anti-Dreyfusards.

Unlike your modern fist-fight, this was a classy affair – all gin-based cocktails and pithy one-liners. Fittingly, it ended with the Marquis striking the French President on the head

with a walking stick. Savagely criticised by Giffard in Le Velo, he decided to withdraw his advertising and, when released from jail, formed his own paper, backed by other anti-Dreyfusards and called L'Auto-Velo (later shortened to L'Auto after legal action – it's the forebear of L'Équipe).

Three years later, in 1903, L'Auto conceived a cycling race around France to boost their circulation, and “finally nail Giffard's beak shut”. And so, in rather unedifying circumstances, Le Tour was born. It worked as intended – circulation rose from 25,000 before Le Tour to 65,000 afterwards, and it became France's number-one sports daily the following year as Le Velo closed its doors, unable to compete with its new rival.

But what of poor old Alfred Dreyfus? After spending years imprisoned on Devil's Island, off the coast of French Guyana, he was finally exonerated in 1906, and went on to serve his country in the First World War – although not before being shot in the arm at close range by a disgruntled military hack called Louis Gregori. Journalists, eh? Can't trust 'em. >

| 19

Tour de France is for El Diablo

is for favourites Injuries and suspensions have thinned out the field of favourites, with Andy Schleck out with a broken pelvis and Alberto Contador suspended. It's been argued that the partially co-operative nature of the Tour means this will make it harder rather than easier for those who remain. But who is best placed to take advantage?

For almost 20 years, 60-year-old German Didi Senft has been ruffling up his bushy beard, squeezing his not inconsiderable frame into red tights and jumping up and down at the side of the road waving a trident as professional cyclists whizz by.

He has delighted fans at cycle races all over Europe, but the riders might feel differently. After slogging your way up a punishing ascent, surely the last thing you want is an insane geriatric's lycraclad scrotum bouncing up and down in your face. Nauseating.

Bradley Wiggins 7/5

Cadel Evans 9/4

Chris Froome 25/1

The Team Sky rider is in phenomenal form and hungry to become the first Brit ever to win Le Tour.

The 32-year-old has been training with teammates in Tenerife, returning to Europe only to dominate races.

Twice runner-up and defending champion is sure to put up a determined fight, but the Australian has struggled to keep up with Wiggins thus far this season. Still, at 35, he's a grizzled and experienced competitor.

A support rider for Team Sky, but demonstrated in the Vuelta last year that he has what it takes to challenge for victory in the big races. One of Team Sky's most crucial domestiques, but is capable of more...

is for gear REplica yellow leaders' jersey £60

tour de france training bike £1,499

LE tour de france 2012 game £33

If you're a cycling aficionado, but actually winning the Tour is beyond you, why not pretend by donning the colours of the race leader? It's the ultimate in glory-hunting – if only a similar option existed for football. cyclesurgery.com

If you want to bask in the reflected glory of the Tour, but can't actually bring yourself to go outside, then this exercise bike – which is pre-programmed with the inclines and views from the Tour using Street View – is ideal. proformfitness.co.uk

And if you can't even be bothered to drag your bloated carcass off the sofa, don't fret – you can still get involved with the official game, which offers all the excitement of the Tour, with none of the horrible rashes.

Available on Xbox and PS3 at amazon.co.uk

is for Henri Desgrange “L'Auto, journal of ideas and action, is going to fling across France today those reckless and uncouth sowers of energy who are the greatest professional riders of the world... from Paris to the blue waves of the Mediterranean, from Marseille to Bordeaux, passing along the roseate and dreaming roads, sleeping under the sun, across the calm of the fields of the

20 | June 29 2012 |

Vendée, following the Loire, which flows on still and silent, our men are going to race madly, unflaggingly.”

Those are the words of Henri Desgrange, editor of L'Auto, as he announced the first ever Tour de France. Considered the father of the Tour, he qualified as a lawyer but chose sport after being fired following complaints about his calves showing as he cycled to work.

Casting that prudish (and bizarre) judgement aside, he went on to revolutionise cycling.

is for illegal substances Despite the romance and poetry of the Tour's origins hinted at by Desgrange (left), the Tour has in truth always been a hotbed of scandal, with the sheer scale of the task leading some riders to look for a way to make things easier. Yes, riders have ingested myriad substances – from the ether used in the first race to numb the pain, to the bizarre cocktail that led to the death of British rider Tom Simpson (see K). Drug use was legal until 1965, and was so ingrained in the early iterations that in 1930 the Tour handbook reminded riders that they had to bring their own. After the criminalisation of substance use, the first en masse test in

1966 found almost a third of riders were on amphetamines. Of the 45 Tours since then, 19 have been won by riders who either tested positive for or admitted using banned substances at some point during their careers.

The list of culprits is as long as the list of substances used: nitroglycerine, strychnine, ether, cocaine, chloroform, painkillers, testosterone, steroids, amphetamines, EPO. Put simply, it's an unfortunate cloud that hangs over every Tour victory. And, as the drugs move away from boosting immediate performance or dulling pain towards increasing the level of substances that occur naturally in the body, it's getting harder and harder for the testers to keep up. >

Tour de France is for killer climbs

is for jerseys This is what it's all for – these jerseys in bright yellow, brilliant green and pure white and polka dot, for some reason.

Don't worry, there's cash on offer for the winners as well. If you're finding

this all as confusing as a women's clothing shop, here's our quick guide to the sartorial prizes on offer for the riders after each stage, and at the end of the Grand Tour.

yellow

green

polka dot

The rider with the lowest total time at the end of each stage wears the Yellow Jersey.

Whoever's wearing it at the end wins the Tour. The White Jersey is for the leading rider under the age of 25.

Points are awarded for final positions in each stage, and the rider with the most points wins the green. More points are awarded for flatter stages, so this is where the sprinters come into their own.

For the 'King of the Mountains' – points are given to the first few riders to the top of each climb, ranging between one point for the easiest to 20 points for the first to top the hardest hors categorie climbs.

is for legends It's tough enough to win even one Tour de France, so these legends of the race deserve their places as sporting greats.

22 | June 29 2012 |

Hoy, Cavendish and Simpson – the only three cyclists to win Sports Personality of the Year. Tom Simpson was just as good as his modern counterparts, becoming world road racing champion in 1965. But two years later he lay dying by the roadside of Mont Ventoux. Already known for pushing his body to the limit, Simpson was sixth in the Tour, but had been struggling with a stomach upset. It was a blistering day in Provence and, the understanding of medical science not being what it is now, riders were limited to carrying two litres of water.

To compound matters, Simpson had been drinking brandy to settle his stomach and had taken amphetamines because, well, that's what riders did back then. Tragically, in Simpson's case it had the opposite effect to that intended – two kilometres from the blinding white of the mountain's summit, he collapsed due to extreme dehydration. He had pushed his body and his mind to the point of no return – so far, in fact, that he was no longer aware of his condition.

“Put me back on my bike!” is what Simpson supposedly said to his team mechanics as they rushed to his aid – although these words were reported by a journalist covering events for The Sun, so could easily have come from an answer-phone message. They duly complied, but just half a mile later he fell once more, never to rise again.

lance armstrong 7 wins

eddy merckx 5 wins

MIGUEL INDURAiN 5 WINs

Neil Armstrong was the first man to set foot on the moon, and Stretch Armstrong always returned to his original shape – so Lance had a lot to do to keep up with his namesakes. It's safe to say he did so, recovering from testicular cancer to win the Tour a record seven times in a row between 1999 and 2005, when he retired.

Returned in 2009 and finished third before giving up professional cycling for good last year. Now 40, he is trying to qualify for the World Ironman Championships. Truly a phenomenal athlete, even if he's never been able to shake off persistent drug allegations.

The Belgian really earned his nickname, 'the Cannibal,' and left his mark on the Tour de France (although thankfully not by taking a bite out of anyone).

His first Tour win was in 1969, when he simply destroyed the competition on the sprints and in the mountains, collecting the Yellow Jersey, the Green Jersey, the mountain classification and the awards for combativity and the best all-rounder – and all at the relatively tender cycling age of 24.

He won four of the next five Tours, eventually succumbing to a pelvis injury originally sustained during that first victory back in 1969.

Considered too tall to do well in the mountains, Indurain (or Big Mig, as he was known) compensated for it by being gifted with a supreme heart and lungs – his blood could carry almost twice as much oxygen around his body per minute as your average person, and significantly more than his fellow riders. He used those gifts to win five Tours in a row between 1991 and 1995, attacking indiscriminately on the mountains and the flat. Quiet and retiring compared with some of his more outspoken rivals, he never quite had the charisma of other winners – but deserves his place on this list. >

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Tour de France is for mark cavendish Sport chats to sprint supremo Mark Cavendish as he vies to retain the Green Jersey...

Will team Sky be aiming for both Green and Yellow at the Tour this year?

“I guess so, but it's for Dave Brailsford to answer that really. I'll prepare as best as I can to contend for green, to contend for stage wins and to contend for the Olympics. And on the other end of the scale, we'll prepare for the general classification – and the guys in between are the ones who have to see if that happens, you know.”

Who are your main rivals for the Green?

“I'm not really looking at anyone else, as always.

I'm just looking at what I've gotta do. I know that if I prepare to the best of my ability and my team

is for the tour by numbers

stages

days

miles covered

The approximate average number of calories burned by a rider during the Tour

400

riders

tossers riding around Surrey wishing they were on the Tour

is for olympics Cycling's greatest names will have one eye on London, even as they're propelling their massive thighs up alpine slopes.

The Olympic Road Race takes place just six days after the Tour ends, with the Time Trial another three days after that. Some cyclists have opted out of one or the other, but British hopefuls Bradley Wiggins and Mark Cavendish are adamant they can compete, and succeed, in both France and London.

After all, once you've conquered the Alps, Box Hill's just a bump in the road. Right?

is for the pyrenees "You are assassins, yes, assassins!" were the words of defending champ Octave Lapize to race organisers at the summit of the first real mountain stage in the Tour, in the Pyrenees in 1910. Back then, riders had to carry their spare tyres, provisions and all up these steep ascents on ungeared bikes. Many walked. This year's race includes 11 Pyrenean summits across two

24 | June 29 2012 |

massive stages – the beasts that are Stage 16, 197km from Pau to Bagneres-de-Luchon, and Stage 17, 144km from Bagneres-de-Luchon to Peyragudes. They could be decisive in the general classification – where mountains have a habit of breaking up the peloton and stringing the riders out – but also in the battle for the Polka Dot jersey, with three hors categorie climbs and more than 100 points available to the top riders.

Walking will be frowned upon. >

does too, then we should be the favourites – there's no need to look at anyone else.”

So you're the favourite then?

“Yeah... I guess so.”

Would you ever pull out of the Tour to make sure you're ready for the Olympics?

“No, only if I get eliminated by a time cut or... no.

I'll finish the Tour de France. I pulled out in my first year as a pro after a week, but I wasn't ready for the Tour. Then in 2008 I stopped for the Olympics, and since then I've finished it every time."

Do you regret stopping for the Olympics?

“Yeah, I never made a secret of that. I'll never do it again.”

Mark Cavendish was at the launch of the new partnership between Team Sky and Jaguar Cars

Tour de France is for Queen stage

is for route map

While we're on the subject of tough climbs, we might as well have a look at the 'queen stage', which is the name given to the toughest stage each year. This year it is, without a doubt, the aforementioned Stage 16 in the Pyrenees. From the town of Pau to Bagneres-de-Luchon near the border with Spain, the route rises and falls over four of the toughest summits in pro-cycling: Col d'Aubisque, the Col d'Aspin, the Col de Peyresourde and the Col du Tourmalet, which at 2,115 metres is the highest point on this year's Tour. It's a Tour classic that's been used dozens of times, but that won't make it any less tough for the riders. And it could be where this year's race is won or lost.

is for support teams While Tour winners secure the plaudits, their success usually owes something to the work of their support team – or domestiques – who can aid their team leader in all manner of ways, from bringing them water from team cars or creating a slipstream to enable them to gain ground, to actually giving up their bike in the case of a mechanical failure or puncture for the leader. The term 'domestique applies' to support riders and actually means 'servant'. It was coined in this context as an insult, by father of the Tour Henri Desgrange, who believed his race should be about individuals. He banned support riders for decades, but they are now an accepted and vital part of the Tour.

is for time trials Something a bit different from the massed starts and pelotons of your average Tour stage, the three individual time trial stages on this year's Tour will let fans see an explosion of raw power.

The first is the Prologue stage in Liege, Belgium, which will launch this year's Tour and decide who gets to don the Yellow Jersey for the first stage proper.

There are points up for grabs in these stages as well, and strong performance will be crucial for the likes of Mark Cavendish if he wants to claim that Green Jersey. Riders set off seperately from a launch ramp and look to set the quickest time, with Green Jersey points on the line.

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is for underhand tactics Ever since the Tour began, unscrupulous riders have been trying to cheat. The drug use we know about, but we've also seen a baffling array of other ways that reads like a list of Wacky Races episodes. Broken glass and nails on the road, itching powder in the shorts – we're surprised no one's tried bending a road sign towards a painted-on tunnel. The second Tour was an absolute shambles – in Stage 1, two riders who tried to break away from the main group were set upon by four masked men who

had jumped out of a car. Because the stages were so long, the riders cycled all night, so could get up to all sorts of heinous shenanigans. One rigged up an insane mechanism in which he secured one end of a length of wire to a car and the other end to a piece of cork, which he held with his teeth to pull him along. Others simply hitched a lift in cars or trains. In all, nine riders were disqualified after the 1904 Tour, and Henri Desgrange rejigged it to run during daylight, so that from then on his organisers could make sure none of the riders were using giant slingshots or ACME rocket bikes (having said that, see X). >

Tour de France is for vocabulary Sport's guide to Tour jargon Autobus A smaller peloton-like group that forms at the back of the race during mountain stages, with the sole purpose of finishing within the time limit.

Blocking Attempting to slow the speed of a group to help teammates who may be staging a breakaway in front.

Domestique A support rider whose job is purely to help their team leader win the stage.

Drafting Following closely behind another rider to avoid wind resistance – akin to slipstreaming in Formula 1.

Hors categorie The hardest level of climb on the Tour.

Peloton The large group of riders that forms at the front of a race. Drag can be reduced by as much as 40 per cent for those at the back of the peloton. Riders at the front have to work the hardest and will often drop to the back to allow others to take their place.

Soigneur A rider's assistant, who will sort out his food and clothing during the Tour.

is for Wipeouts

is for X-rays

It's easy to forget just how fast the riders are going – and when things go wrong, it usually means a broken something for someone. Last year was particularly bad: the 2011 Tour saw Bradley Wiggins break his collarbone in an early crash, but that was far from the worst incident. Farcically, during Stage 9, a French TV car cut across the line of the cyclists, clipping Juan Antonio Flecha and flinging rider Johnny Hoogerland into a barbed wire fence. Sacre bleu!

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To watch some of the most dramatic crashes from Le Tour, download our iPad app from Apple Newsstand

is for Your Guide to watching

Moving the Tour to daylight hours wasn't enough to stop cries of cheating. As recently as 2010, rumours flew around the peloton that some teams had installed tiny motors inside the frames of their bikes, to release power at a button press. Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Not to the organisers, who responded robustly – a selection of competitors' bikes are now X-rayed before each stage of the Tour to make sure there are no motors, machinery or tiny elves living inside.

The Tour begins with tomorrow's Prologue, and runs until Sunday July 22. There will be live coverage and highlights throughout the Tour on British Eurosport and ITV4. ITV4 will have live coverage in HD every day (usually starting at 2pm), with highlights every evening at 7pm. British Eurosport will also have HD coverage and highlights, with programmes usually starting at 1.15pm, and highlights at 6.15pm.

is for 'de zwarte' and the best tour nicknames De Zwarte van Brakel – roughly translated as 'the black-haired person from Brakel' – was the imaginative nickname given to Belgian cyclist Peter van Petegem, who, you guessed it, has black hair and is from the Belgian town of Brakel.

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Okay, so not a great start (we're down to Z – can you blame us?), but there have been some truly excellent nicknames doled out by cycle fans. We've touched on Eddie 'the Cannibal' Merckx (fleetingly, in case he was hungry), and of the current crop there's The Manx Missile (Mark Cavendish), The God of Thunder (Thor Hushovd) and the delightful Cuddles (Cadel Evans).

Some riders have been nicknamed for their looks, such as Marco 'Il Pirata' Pantani, who wore a bandana, earring and eyepatch (this is true of the first two, at least). Bernard Hinault will tell you his nickname, 'The Badger', comes from his tenacity. But it's actually because he looks like a badger. Classic.

Amit Katwala @amitkatwala

Bradley Wiggins

CHASING LEGENDS When Le Tour begins in Liege tomorrow, all eyes will be on Britain’s own Bradley Wiggins as he looks to make history for a second time this year...

as much a part of his persona as they were for the man who inspired them – The Who bass player, John Entwistle. So Wiggins is easily spotted among the plethora of holidaymakers in ill-advised (and ill-fitting) budgie smugglers around the pool. But as we rise to greet him and shake the hand of the man tipped to make cycling history, we’re offered an apology in place of a palm: “Sorry, I’m not being rude. I just can’t take any [injury] risks at this point...” Dodging a handshake is not a very British thing to do, but then neither is winning the Tour de France. Yet. Are there any great gains to be made in this period before the Tour starts, or is all your money already in the bank?

“It’s more about stuff off the bike now – how you rest, trying not to get ill, keeping an eye on the weight, all those kind of things. There’s only a couple of key

Bryn Lennon/Getty Images

A

Brit winning the Tour de France just doesn’t happen. Never in the Tour’s 98 illustrious editions has one even graced the podium at the end of the final stage in Paris, let alone rolled down the Champs-Élysées clad in the illustrious Yellow Jersey of the race leader.

Yet all the talk ahead of this year’s race is of one man, and a British one at that: Bradley Wiggins. “I’m the favourite for the Tour de France,” he says, puffing his cheeks out incredulously, his mind clearly a little blown to be the bookies’ pick. “It’s something to tell the grandchildren one day.”

There are 11 days to go until the Grand Depart in Liege when Sport sits down with Wiggins in the poolside bar of a Majorcan hotel. He’s staying in an apartment nearby with his family until a few days before the Tour, taking advantage of the Serra de Tramuntana mountain range’s high gradients and the island’s oppressive heat to prepare for what could be the greatest race of his life.

He’s lean – exceptionally lean – and sporting those distinctive mutton-chop sideburns that have become

| June 29 2012 | 31

Bradley Wiggins

In terms of the attention you’re getting, is this the biggest build-up you’ve had to a Tour?

“This is… I wouldn’t say it’s new to me, but I was out at 6.45am this morning with five film crews following me and lord knows how many photographers along the route – in Majorca at that time of the morning, that’s quite incredible really. But that’s because I’m doing well and that’s a nice thing, you know. You could have attention for worse things.”

Do your children [Wiggins has a son, Ben, and daughter Isabella] understand it?

“No they don’t – they have no understanding of it at all. My son thinks we’re here on holiday, you know?

But cycling itself is the norm for them. Everyone in their family cycles, so from a young age everyone’s in lycra and there’s bikes around the house. My son wants to race. He definitely likes it, but we’re trying to push him into rugby league at the moment. He plays in a local team and he loves it. I love it – it’s a brilliant sport. I find it inspiring how hard it is. It’s harder than cycling.”

How he rolls: Wiggins, in Yellow Jersey, attacks the Alps during the Dauphine (below) and (inset) with the Paris-Nice title

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It’s harder? Really?

“It’s just the tackles they take – they’re physically hard, you know? But that’s just me. It might

be that rugby league players might look at cycling and say: ‘My god, how do you do that?’”

Speaking of which, you’ve made history as the only rider to win Paris–Nice [inset], the Tour de Romandie and the Criterium du Dauphine in the same year. People are saying you’ve peaked...

“It was never the plan to peak for those races and win them. We won those races off the back of being in this plan, which is fantastic because what are we gonna do when we do taper? We’ve been working towards peaking for July and those races have been stepping stones. I won Paris-Nice, which is amazing, but I only won it by eight seconds – it’s not like I won it by three minutes. Then we had big blocks of training in April before going to Romandie and I won that. Then we went away again and did big blocks of training at altitude, came back and won the Dauphine.

“Every time it’s just got a bit better – that was always the plan. And with that we’ve led races, had the Yellow Jersey and everything that goes with that.

I know how to do a press conference now – which you have to do every day after the stage if you’ve had the Yellow Jersey – and the team now knows how to ride at the front. We’re well trained at all those things.

So when we do get the Yellow Jersey – if we get the Yellow Jersey – in the first week, it’s not a big ‘what are we gonna do now?’ kind of thing. We know how to do this. We’ve done it before and it’s all instilled in us.”

hall somewhere and talk to all the press. You want to get back to the hotel and, if you’ve had a good day, go and thank your teammates, because you don’t normally get to see them afterwards. You also want to have some food and talk to your family, or whatever.

So it can be an irritation. In Paris-Nice, I got frustrated with it. I didn’t want to do it, but I’m now accepting that’s what comes with it. You just have to work out how to make it as unstressful as possible. Simple things help – like the person who comes with you having some food there and a bottle of drink. It becomes part of the race and you have to prepare for it.”

Last year, we didn’t get to see what you were capable of in the Tour [Wiggins broke his collarbone in a crash on Stage 7]. But how do you compare where you are now with where you were in 2010, when you finished in 24th place?

“We were all novices in how to win the Tour when this team started. No one knew all the answers – I certainly didn’t. I had no idea of how I got fourth the year before and that’s where Tim (Kerrison, Wiggins’ coach) came in. He came from a swimming and rowing background, so he knew about endurance training but had no idea about the traditions of cycling. In swimming and

Is the media circus that accompanies the Tour one of the most difficult aspects to handle?

“It can be, because the last thing you want to do when you’ve finished six hours of riding is go to a sports

“ The team knows how to ride at the front.

It’s all instilled in us”

Pascal Pavani/AFP/Getty Images

sessions we do on the bike, but the ones we do really have to count. Other than that it’s just about waiting and trying to relax. I’ve had enough experience to know that the worst thing you can do in this period is go out and test yourself to see if it’s still there.”

bradley Wiggins

“ The Tour is probably the best preparation for the Olympics”

Velo yellow: Wiggins in the peloton with his Team Sky teammates (above); and on his way to winning in Romandie (right)

Pascal Pavani/AFP/Getty Images, Fabrice Coffrini/AFP/Getty Images

rowing, they train all year round – overload, race and compete. That is basically how we’ve been working. Racing less, training more. Taking bigger chunks of time to go away and train at altitude or work on our weaknesses. That’s been the big difference this year. That, and having faith in Tim. Realising that actually, I trust this man. It’s been eye-opening. People ask: ‘How have you won Paris-Nice and Dauphine in the same year? It’s impossible – only Eddy Merckx has done it.’ And it’s because the traditions are so different to how we’ve done it.”

Just six days separate the finish line in Paris from the start of the Olympic Road Race. If you do the business in the Tour, will you be allowed even the smallest of celebrations?

“I know that the end process is the Olympic Time Trial.

That’s what will make all the sacrifices worthwhile – to stay until the job’s done. And that job finishes on August 1, regardless of the result in Paris. To win the Tour would be amazing. It would be hard not to be emotional about it, but we’ve planned for this since November. If we win the Tour, how is that going to impact on the few days after that? I’ve said from day one that I’m not going to let it impact what we do at the Olympics. So, after the Tour, we’ll maybe talk about it for an hour or two with the media and then say: ‘Right, now I’m focusing on the Olympics.’”

So, despite all the Tour talk, the Olympics still comes into your thoughts on occasion?

“A bit, yeah. But I know the minute I roll down that ramp in London for the time trial, my body will take over and the event will happen. The details were put in place months ago, so we know that on Sunday night, the minute the Tour finishes, we fly to the holding camp in Surrey. Other than that, it’s very simple.

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“We train all the physical aspects, we have all the equipment – the best bikes, this, that and the other for the Olympics – and that’ll just happen when we get there for the Time Trial. The Road Race is a bit more complicated because tactics are involved, but the Time Trial is what we do day in, day out in racing – I may have to do my best ever Time Trial to win the Tour on that final Saturday of the race. So in fact, the Tour’s probably the best preparation for the Olympics.”

How would you like to be remembered once your cycling career comes to a close (apart from being the rider with the best sideburns in the peloton)?

“It’s funny, because Dave [Brailsford] asked me that a while ago. I said you know, with YouTube and everything now, I’m unlikely to be remembered as someone who’s great with the media and whatever. [Smiles] But what I do want to be remembered for is actually being really good at what I did, and that’s performing. No one can ever take them performances away from me. My name’s there with Eddy Merckx and Jacques Anquetil as the only rider to win Dauphine and Paris-Nice in the same year. And I’m the only rider to win the individual pursuit title at the Olympics twice. They’re never gonna go away. So, just being really good at what I did – focusing on a goal and winning it – that’s what I hope to be remembered for. But I suppose everyone will have a different view. Some people might look at you as a legend – or some won’t.”

Sarah Shephard @sarahsportmag Follow Team Sky throughout the Tour de France on Facebook.com/TeamSky or via Twitter @TeamSky

The men behind The man

Bradley Wiggins credits a pair of Aussies with transforming him into a Tour de France favourite.

Meet Tim Kerrison (left) and Shane Sutton...

Kerrison, a sports scientist, joined Team Sky in 2009 from British Swimming, and has also worked with Olympic rowers in Australia. His brief was to discover where and how improvements in performance could be made alongside fellow Aussie Sutton, a no-nonsense former pro who played a key role in transforming the fortunes of British Cycling and is now head coach at Team Sky. The pair designed Wiggins’ training programme using information gathered during the 2010 and 2011 Tours. It began in November and has thus far delivered the best six months of Wiggins’ road racing career.

The End of Euro 2012 England's next steps

Roy’s road to Rio

As the world and his wife reflects on England’s exit from Euro 2012, we consider the steps Roy Hodgson must take to ensure a successful qualifying campaign for their next major test: the 2014 World Cup in Brazil

36 | June 29 2012 |

1. Retain the humility Hodgson took the England job a full five minutes before the start of Euro 2012, but in his short reign he has managed to coax a degree of humility out of a group of players well used to being overindulged and ridiculously overpaid at club level. This is no different for many of the high-profile squads that have spent the summer in Poland and Ukraine, of course, but it's all too easy for those in successful teams (most notably Spain and Germany) to maintain a base level of harmony and dignity – and all too easy for those failing miserably (take a bow, Holland and France) to resort to infighting, backbiting and the kind of shambolic disunity that has reportedly blighted England camps at past tournaments.

No such shenanigans with Roy's class of 2012, however. The manager may not have had the easiest ride in the run-up to the tournament, and received precious little public support from his bosses over the non-selection of Rio Ferdinand, but his reputation as an excellent man-manager has

been borne out in the quiet, professional manner with which his charges went about their business in Poland and Ukraine. Any controversy over the selection of John Terry was minimised by keeping the former skipper well and truly in his box, while the appointment of Steven Gerrard – who leads by example over barking at his teammates – was perhaps cannier than it first seemed.

Throw in the recruitment as coach of Gary Neville, who offers the kind of link between management and players that seemed so lacking in the Fabio Capello era, and Hodgson appears to have begun a process on which he can build as he looks towards a World Cup qualifying campaign.

2. Ditch the formation “Roy does like a rigid 4-4-2,” said Gary Lineker for the umpteenth time in the aftermath of England's penalty shootout defeat to Italy last Sunday. It's important for a manager to be clear about how he wants his team to play, true – but it's also

The men who impressed, and very much failed to, at Euro 2012

Danny Welbeck Far from the finished article,

3. Pick the right players

important for that same manager to realise when the system he prefers plainly isn't working. And if there's one thing the entire watching world seems to understand about modern football, it's that a rigid 4-4-2 simply doesn't cut it against teams that pack the midfield and, crucially, possess players of superior technical ability.

We're not telling you anything you haven't spent much of the week already reading, but never was this more obvious than against Italy – for whom Andrea Pirlo spent an evening playing passes at will while the entire England midfield seemed bewilderingly incapable of getting near him.

Don't be fooled into thinking Pirlo had an armchair ride, however. UEFA stats show that he ran further (11.58km) than any other player on the park on Sunday, but it's a lot easier to do this when you have the ball at your feet – which is why Gerrard (second in the stats at 11.26km) was doubled up on the turf with cramp after little more than an hour.

Hodgson has been blessed with what should prove a straightforward World Cup qualifying group – neither Ukraine nor Poland looked any great shakes at their own tournament – but that shouldn't stop him from converting to a midfield three. Who fills

Now comes arguably Hodgson's toughest task so far – namely, judging who are the players he wants to retain, those he wants to lose, and those he wants to bring in for a two-year World Cup campaign.

First, the keepers. John Terry's selection caused no end of debate ahead of the tournament, but he gave a timely exhibition of why Chelsea fans love him so much as the lynchpin of England's relentless rearguard action in Ukraine. Zlatan Ibrahimovic exposed just how little pace Terry has left, but as an out-and-out defender he has few peers in England. Assuming he retains his liberty, he should retain his place. Elsewhere, Parker performed admirably and deserves to continue, while Theo Walcott and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain did enough to suggest they both have an international future.

There are a few whose futures are less certain, however. England lack strength in depth up front, but there seems little point in retaining Jermain Defoe while he can't hold down a regular starting berth at club level.

Few understood why Stewart Downing even went to Ukraine in the first place; just having a left foot shouldn't be enough to see him keep his place, so he shouldn't. And, with more promising alternatives back to full fitness, it would be a surprise to see another two Liverpool men, Jordan Henderson and Martin Kelly, feature much in the future.

As to those the manager should be looking to bring in, Jack Wilshere is the first name on the list. Assuming the Arsenal midfielder ever plays again (and word is that he might), he should be one of the two midfielders set to augment Gerrard in Hodgson's new-look side. As one of the Premier League's better passers (something the current England side lacks in spades), Michael Carrick should be approached about making a return; while both Gary Cahill and Kyle Walker should return to put pressure on Joleon Lescott and Glen Johnson in the back four. It would also be encouraging to see consistent club form (and fitness) from Tom Cleverley, Jack Rodwell and Daniel Sturridge.

And that just leaves those for whom the end of the international road is nigh. The reasons Hodgson gave for leaving Rio Ferdinand out suggest we won't see him again, while there must be questions about whether Frank Lampard, who will be 36 when the World Cup rolls around, should return.

Both have been great servants to England, but now is surely a time to look forward.

but Welbeck led the line impressively against France, scored a brilliant winner against Sweden and occasionally combined well with Rooney.

Shouldn't have been taken off against Italy, and looks to have a future at international level.

Ashley Young Went into the tournament billed as England's potential matchwinner, but utterly failed to sparkle and looked a beaten man as he stepped up to take his ill-fated penalty in the shootout.

Can't imagine he has many more chances before Hodgson starts to look elsewhere.

Joleon Lescott Inherited a starting role after Gary Cahill was forced to pull out of the squad injured, but defended admirably alongside John Terry and can be proud of his efforts. Still a question mark over his distribution, but all in all an excellent tournament.

Wayne Rooney How can a lack of match fitness have such a detrimental effect on a player's touch? Rooney didn't look out of shape in Ukraine, but he looked out of sorts and could have been subbed long before the end against Italy. Starting to look like we may never see the best of him on the international stage again.

Yellow cards for England at Euro 2012, at an average of 1.25 per game. After the quarter finals, only Germany – with three yellows at an average of 0.75 per game – had a better disciplinary record

5

320 Number of passes England completed on Sunday, in stark contrast to Italy’s 815.

The team’s most frequent passing combination was – wait for it – Joe Hart to Andy Carroll | 37

Alex Livesey/Getty Images, Giuseppe Cacace/AFP/GettyImages, Filippo Monteforte/AFP/GettyImages, Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

those three spots is open to debate, but if Gerrard – who has signalled his desire to continue, and should be retained – is to take control of a game in the manner we know he can, he simply must have two guys alongside him. Poor old Scott Parker can't survive there for much longer on his own.

Hits and misses

Euro 2012 The Story So Far

Over and out (and mildly down)

B

y the time you read this, the game will almost be up. Germany will be playing Spain again this Sunday in a repeat of 2008’s final, unless Portugal beat Spain, in which case they’ll play Portugal instead. Or Italy will beat Germany and play Spain instead, or Portugal. We’re not entirely sure of the specifics, but someone will definitely be playing someone in Sunday night’s showpiece final – of that there is no doubt. They just won’t be playing England.

Because England will be back home in Dubai by the time you read this, having their fragile little egos gently buffed back to full health by a team of hand-picked sycophants – and with only six days until the new Premier League kicks off again, they’ll be massaging round the clock.

Now, what you may have worked out from the opening paragraph is that we’re writing this after the quarter finals but before the semi finals, so we’re lost down the corridor of uncertainty and clearly winging it. But winging it has been a recurring theme of this European Championships: Ashley Young, Alan Hansen, Mad Mario masquerading as a world-class footballer, all of Holland, Don Fabio and his Magnificent Mechanical Capello Index Guessing Game – we’re all just winging it and wondering how long our luck holds.

What we can say with complete confidence though, is that it’s been a quite magnificent European Championships. We’re sure of that because that’s what everyone’s saying, although we’re not entirely convinced. If you like one-sided games, players spannering balls wide of open goals and referees

38 | June 29 2012 |

ignoring obvious goals, then this has truly been the tournament for you, otherwise...

There have been moments of undeniable excellence – Ronaldo’s rampaging against Holland and the Czech Republic, his exquisite hair of two halves™, all those step-overs (7.6 per match! But no longer fooling anyone), and his hair – did we mention the lad’s hair?

Then there’s Germany, a team built in the image of their manager Jogi Low: suave, silken and, to a man, playing keine underpants.

We liked Andy Carroll’s herculean header against Sweden, and Zlatan Ibrahimovich’s killer kung-fu against the French, and who didn’t fall in love with Andrea Pirlo?

Sure, there was that cute little cucchiaio past Bruce Grobbelaar in the England goal last Sunday, but that wasn’t the half of it. The technique, the nonchalance, the lightly feathered continental coiffure that Wayne Rooney dreams of nightly – the man had it all, and still has.

There were plenty of great moments, yes – but where were the truly great performances, the truly great games?

(NB: This may change between now and when you read this, so to be safe... what a game last night! What a finish! What impudence! This has been the greatest tournament since – insert your own choice here! Etc and so on.)

The truth is, when The Diary looks back on these Euros, we won’t be remembering it for the right reasons. We’ll remember it more for the rising optimism of Dear Old England that was entirely at odds with their pug-ugly performances against France,

Sweden and Ukraine. And we’ll wonder why anyone held out any hope at all.

We’ll laugh again at Wayne Rooney’s ratty hairpiece, and wonder why a man of his age would publicly out himself as a fan of Deacon Blue, FFS. (As we type, we expect he’s chilling to Ocean Drive by the Lighthouse Family.)

We’ll recall Alun Shearer’s shit-eating grin, largely because it wakes us nightly in a cold sweat. We’ll shudder at the thought of mad Ukraine coach Oleg Blokhin offering to bugger some sense into a journalist (“If you’re a man, go with me. One on one”). And we’ll bemoan what the Euro bastards did to Seven Nation Army. Most of all though, we’ll recall Euro 2012 as being the tournament where we finally turned into our parents. Having grown up with World In Motion, Lethal Bizzle’s England ‘song’ was an aural assault: a song without a discernible tune, and that’s not singing, is it? Gary Lineker claimed it was ‘dench’, the daft tit.

But inevitably, we’ll look back on Euro 2012 with regret. Obvious regret that we pulled Ireland in the office sweepstake. Big regret that, with the stage set for him to push on sartorially, Jogi Low played it safe with the white shirt, black slacks of middle management – we pray he’s saving his big Spandex-andstack-heels ensemble for the final.

But most of all, monumental regret that we wasted another 500 hours watching England matches only to arrive at the same conclusion we reached two summers ago: they’re really not very good. Still, they’ll definitely win the World Cup in 2014, of that we’re convinced.

Carl De Souza/AFP/Getty Images, Shaun Botterill/Getty Images, Damien Meyer/AFP/Getty Images, Filippo Monteforte/AFP/Getty Images, Patrick Hertzog/AFP/Getty Images

And with the big final this weekend, we’re not sure who’s playing, or what we’ll do with our time now it’s over...

Pete Waterfield

He won Olympic silver eight years ago, but for British diver Pete Waterfield it’s his current partnership with a certain teenage sporting superstar that has finally put him in the spotlight

the country to talk about his success as one of Britain’s top divers, he’s often met with blank faces from those not old enough to remember the silver medal he won in Athens eight years ago.

“But then I mention Tom Daley,” he says, chuckling. “And suddenly they know who I am.”

Alongside former synchro partner Leon Taylor, Waterfield won Britain’s first Olympic diving medal since 1960 at the Athens Olympics. The duo were afforded the five minutes of fame that usually accompany such feats, but not much besides. “We didn’t get half as much attention as Tom does,” says the Walthamstow-born 31-year-old. “But we raised the profile of our sport by doing it, and out of that came Tom. Now he’s raising the profile again and taking it to another level, which is great for the sport.”

Waterfield has since been propelled to that level too, after joining forces with Daley at the start of 2011. The duo have formed a synchro dream team that looks to be hitting form just in time for London 2012.

They won the overall gold medal in this year’s World Series, and set a new personal best at the Olympic trials earlier this month.

SHOulDering tHe Pain “I’ve had the best results of my career over the past two years,” admits Waterfield, whose Beijing Olympics were scuppered by a shoulder injury. “I was diving really well when I got there, then three days before my event the shoulder went. I did the prelims and got through in fourth place. Then, when I woke up the next day for the semi finals, I could hardly lift my arm above my head. As soon as I got home, I had surgery on it and everyone thought I probably wouldn’t come back from it.

So it’s been nice to prove a few people wrong and show I’m still here, you know?

“I was out of competition for nearly a year – they had to cut through one of the muscles in my shoulder, so I basically had to teach my arm how to move again. Getting back was a struggle and probably the toughest time of my career, but

40 | June 29 2012 |

all the hard work’s been worth it. My body is definitely screaming at me now, though.”

POOl tOgetHer The partnership with Daley might be only 18 months old, but it’s one that Waterfield says had been on for some time.

“We’d competed against each other and knew it was always on the cards that we might get together,” he explains. “When Tom was a bit younger, he wasn’t as strong as he is now, so the timing wasn’t quite right.

You couldn’t stick him on the weights that much at that age, because when you’re still developing it’s not good to be hammering your body with weights. But once he got to the age when he could, he got bigger, started to jump higher... and he was ready to be paired up with me.”

Waterfield concedes his partnership with Daley is very different to what he’s had in the past. “Because there is an age gap, it is a different partnership to what I had with [fellow silver-medallist] Leon Taylor,” he explains. “Me and Leon were best friends and that was the way it worked for us. With Tom, it’s a bit different – but it works.

When we’re in the pool we’ve still got the same aspirations, we still work hard for each other and we’re both there for the same reason – trying to win medals. It doesn’t mean we’re not friends; it’s just that, you know, when he’s out and about with the younger ones, I don’t wanna cramp his style. I have a younger son, so I know what they’re like. He doesn’t want me around him all the time.”

London will be Waterfield’s fourth and final Olympics – and, while the consensus is that the Chinese divers are gold-medal favourites, he’s not discounting an upset. “They are the ones to beat, but anything can happen,” he says. “If we can dive well and get 15,000 people screaming for us, that puts pressure on the other divers. Hopefully they will miss a dive and we won’t.”

Then, maybe, a generation of schoolchildren will remember they met that Olympic diver Pete Waterfield, once.

Sarah Shephard @sarahsportmag Pete Waterfield is having laser hair removal at The Harley Medical Group as part of his Games preparations

Richard Heathcote/Getty Images

Dream team W

hen Pete Waterfield is invited into schools around

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Liam Tancock

Stroke of genius As a three-time world champion, three-time Commonwealth gold-medallist and current world record holder for the 50m backstroke, British swimmer Liam Tancock is a serious medal hope for London 2012 – and he isn’t half looking forward to it

Quinn Rooney/Getty Images, Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty Images

There’s not long to go until the Olympics gets under way. Are you getting excited?

“Definitely. I qualified at the trials in March, and it’s just been getting bigger and bigger since then. More and more people have been qualifying in different sports, which has all added to the build-up, and now there’s a real sense of Team GB. Training’s been going fantastically well, and I’m just mega excited.

I’ve got 549 teammates I can’t let down!”

– and that was only with about 5,000 people.

We’re talking about 17,500 people in London.

It’s our turf, so people are going to have to come and race us in our playground, so to speak. That feeling of being proud to be British is really hotting up at the moment with the Royal Wedding, the Jubilee and now the Olympics, so to be involved is incredible.

Everyone’s getting mega excited about getting behind Team GB, and I get to be part of Team GB. That’s incredible!”

awareness of their body position to succeed.

Think about how that relates to swimming and it’s a no-brainer, because our strong core and body positions are key. So we are taking elements of other sports to try to make the best all-round athlete, I guess.

Ultimately, our goal is to do these things to make us swim fast. Our sport is decided by the tiniest of margins, so if we can do things that others aren’t, we have an advantage.”

Mark Coughlan @coffers83

You performed at Beijing. What is it like competing at the Olympic Games?

“It’s incredible. I’ve done the full circuit since I started competing at senior level in 2005, and most of the big events I compete at are just about aquatic disciplines or specific nations. Once every four years, we get together as a bigger team, a greater team, and we go up against the very best that the rest of the world have to offer. People talk about it as the greatest show on earth, and it truly is because it lasts for a good couple of weeks and it involves world-class sports every single day. That’s just fantastic!”

And GB swimming seems to be absolutely flying right now...

“Totally. It’s on the crest of a wave at the moment, and the sport’s just growing in popularity. In the past, people didn’t see swimming outside the Olympics or other big events. But that’s starting to change, and people are starting to know the sport better.

It would be fantastic if, as a team, we can be successful enough to inspire more people to take to the water. I’m truly passionate about the sport, and if I can get this much excitement out of it, hopefully others can too.”

Follow Liam Tancock and the Sky Sports Scholars on Sky Sports News and skysports.com/scholarships

How much are you looking forward to the Games being at home?

“Yeah, it’s going to be amazing. I’ve only been involved in that situation once in Britain, at the Short Course World Championships back in Manchester in 2008 – but to have a home crowd was incredible, with people chanting our name as we got out of the pool. It really was like what footballers get every week

We’ve heard some interesting things about your training...

[Laughs] “Yeah, I train with an elite group in Loughborough and we’re quite forwardthinking. Our coach, Ben Titley, has us studying and taking part in other disciplines – ballet and kickboxing, for example – to pick up tips. Look at ballet dancers or kickboxers – they need a strong core and

42 | June 29 2012 |

Backing it up: Tancock is hoping to improve on his 100m backstroke sixth place in Beijing

© 2012 The Gillette Company.

A GREAT START CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE. LIAM TANCOCK, 3X WORLD CHAMPION

NOTHING BEATS A GREAT START. facebook.com/GilletteUK

7 Days OUR PICK OF THE ACTION FROM THE SPORTING WEEK AHEAD

Friday > BMx vERT | x GAMES | LOS ANGELES, USA |

Virtually untouchable on the halfpipe, Jamie Bestwick has dominated BMX vert over the past 12 years. Ahead of X Games 18, the Brit tells Sport he’s not done just yet You’ve won five X Games golds in a row, and nine altogether. Is it even worth the others turning up this year?

[Laughs] “Of course – it’s never a guarantee.

I’ve just been lucky enough to get it right all these years. I think I’ve been more dedicated and put more hard work into getting ready for the X Games. The big mistake a lot of riders make is trying to downplay the event. That’s just an enormous amount of rubbish, because

44 | June 29 2012 |

» Cricket: England v Australia, 1st ODI » p46 » MotoGP: Round 7, Assen » p48 » Baseball: Tampa Bay Rays v NY Yankees » p48 » Rugby League: England v Exiles » p50 » Best of the Rest » p51

ESPN AMERICA 1.30PM

everybody who comes to these games prepares enormously for them. In extreme sports, it’s the biggest deal of the summer.”

How are you feeling about this year’s event?

“It’s a strange one actually, because I’ve been running around just lately doing a lot of TV work, so I haven’t put as much time as I could into the bike. Having said that, I did a lot of my preparation in the winter because I knew that I’d be busy. So, while it’s taken me away from my bike a bit, it hasn’t taken my focus away. Those days I’ve had off to do TV work have actually given me a break from the punishment of riding for long hours.”

So you’re feeling fresher?

“Yeah, but then I’m healthier this year anyway.

I’ve always got some knock here or there, but at the beginning of last year I had a fractured skull and I was due in for back surgery. By this time last year, I was very tired from the

extensive rehabilitation I had to do in order to just be able to ride at about 75 per cent, so I’m in a better place and have a better attitude to riding my bike this year. You know what? It’s been a great year, so whatever happens in LA, I’ll be happy.”

Who are the other names we should be keeping an eye on in Los Angeles?

“It’s always the usual crew, but this year the guy on top form is young Aussie Vince Byron.

He went to the Shanghai X Games and won, and he’s coming in with a lot of momentum.

He’s got some incredible tricks and he’s young, so he has this fantastic outlook on how to ride a bike. He’s refreshing.”

Do you have any new tricks lined up for LA? “Yeah, I have one I invented called the Time Machine. I won’t tell you what it is, but if you don’t pull it off, it’ll take years off your life.

If you pull it off, it’ll zap you into the future!”

Jeff Gross/Getty Images

X factor

JUNEHIGHLIGHTS 29-JULY 5

Advertising feature Our pick of the collection

Named after a Bob Marley hit and featuring the man himself on the right sleeve, the Iron Lion Military Jacket exudes military style, but can be worn with that quintessential Jamaican swag.

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A taste of Jamaica

While Usain Bolt is starring on the track this summer, Cedella Marley and PUMA will be very much starring off it ‑ with their collaboration on the Jamaican Track and Field team’s Olympic wear

C

edella Marley has class and style running through her blood. The daughter of reggae legend Bob, she understands better than most the vibrancy, colour and passion that infuses the people of Jamaica.

And, as a successful fashion designer in her own right, she was the obvious choice to work alongside PUMA in designing the kit and podium wear that Usain and co will be modelling at the London Games.

“I ran track in high school in Jamaica and I’m still a huge fan of Jamaican athletics, so to have a role in creating the outfits for our Olympians is a thrill,” says Cedella. “I admire what PUMA has been doing in Jamaica over the years, and the Marley family has the same type of give-back philosophy. I think this partnership is going to be legendary.”

Should Bolt and his teammates perform the kind of heroics we’re expecting from them at London 2012, the chances are that her designs will come to be as iconic as the sportswear worn by her father some four decades ago. But where do you start when faced with such an intimidating brief?

“First, I looked at what the Jamaican teams had worn at previous Games, and from that I

knew what I didn’t want to do,” Cedella laughs in an exclusive chat with Sport. “Then I looked at Grace Jones, because I think every female athlete should have a body like hers! I started pulling pictures from elsewhere: the famous 1970s Jamaican movie Rockers, even the old Island Records cover jackets... everything was kind of vibrant, rude boy, militant but still flirty, and that’s where my inspiration came from. I think we have elements of all of that in the final collection.”

As befitting PUMA’s heritage as a brand committed to the idea of sportlifestyle, the range incorporates high-tech fabrics and silhouettes engineered to enhance the performance of athletes hailing from the fastest nation upon earth. We’ve picked out some of our favourite pieces over there to the right, but we should leave the final word to a man who will be making Ms Marley’s items look better than we ever could this summer. “I can’t think of a better person to design our Olympic outfits than Cedella,” says a certain Mr U Bolt. “PUMA got that right, hooking up with a legendary Jamaican, a great designer who carries on the spirit of our nation through the legacy of the Marley family.”

We couldn’t have put it better ourselves.

For more info on the Jamaican Track and Field team’s Olympic, podium and ceremony wear for London 2012, visit www.puma.com

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The Legend Tee features iconic imagery from the 1948 Olympics – not just the year when Jamaica won its first track‑and‑field gold, but also the year in which PUMA was founded. But what does it mean for you? It means you look good, that’s what.

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The product info tells us that the Bolt evoSPEED XT Marley is made to stand up against the toughest training routines, with its ‘light, fit and flex’ design. Crucially, it also matches perfectly our own training routine of ‘walk around slowly looking cool’.

| 45

7 Days Friday CriCket | england v australia: 1st Odi | lOrd’s | sky spOrts 1 10am

If it ain’t broke...

1,035

Runs scored by Alastair Cook in ODIs since taking over the captaincy in June last year, at an average of 54.47. Contrast that with his one-day record before becoming captain: 858 runs at an average of 33.00

Competition

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Gareth Copley/Getty Images

A year is a very long time in cricket, but Alastair Cook can look back on his first 12 months in the job of England one-day captain with some satisfaction. Taking the reins from Andrew Strauss after England’s dismal showing at the 2011 World Cup, Cook has since led his charges to a quietly impressive 12 wins from 21 matches, securing four series wins from five in the process (the one blot being a 5-0 hammering in India in the autumn). It’s no surprise, then, that the selectors have named an unchanged squad for a five-match series against the touring Australians.

That series gets under way today at Lord’s, where Cook is yet to savour victory from two previous attempts as captain. Despite hitting a majestic 119 (his first century as one-day captain), Cook was on the wrong end of a six-wicket defeat to Sri Lanka last July. And then, two months later, a struggling India escaped from the home of cricket with a dramatic tie after taking the wicket of Ravi Bopara with what turned out to be the very last ball of a rain-affected match.

Thus, Cook will be hoping to make it third time lucky at HQ today, and his side look in excellent shape to do just that. Ian Bell marked his return to the one-day side with a commanding century in the first one-day win against the West Indies earlier this month, while Cook bagged himself another ton in the second victory three days later.

Jimmy Anderson and Stuart Broad will once again lead a fit and firing bowling attack, which will relish having a crack at an underwhelming Aussie batting line-up.

And what of the tourists? They may not have lost a one-day series for more than 18 months, and remain at the top of the one-day rankings, but Australia under Michael Clarke are not a team to be feared like those of old. Geriatric paceman Brett Lee will lead an attack also set to feature Mitchell Johnson, who has returned to the squad after foot surgery, while the injury-prone but classy Shane Watson will likely open the batting alongside David Warner, who hit back-to-back centuries against Sri Lanka in March. They will sorely miss Mr Cricket himself, though: prolific batsman Mike Hussey has not travelled to England after the premature birth of his fourth child earlier this month.

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7 Days Saturday | MOTOGP | ROund 7: Assen | BBC Red BuTTOn 1PM

Assen about

For the second consecutive year, British rider Cal Crutchlow (right) heads to Assen in the Netherlands numbed with painkillers, nursing wounds sustained at his home race. Last year it was his collarbone, this year his ankle – which was dislocated and fractured in final practice for the British Grand Prix a fortnight ago.

Undeterred, Crutchlow competed in that race, putting in one of his best performances of the season as he fought his way to sixth after starting from the back of the grid. He plans to continue racing with his injury despite being advised to take eight to 10 weeks off by doctors.

Championship leader Jorge Lorenzo was similarly swashbuckling, fighting from fourth to first to make it three wins in a row.

It was a perfect advert for the excitement (and the insanity, in Crutchlow’s case) of MotoGP, and fans will be hoping for more of the same in Assen, which served up a suitably chaotic feast last year.

Ben Spies took the win after pole-sitter, the late Marco Simoncelli clashed with Lorenzo, who finished sixth in his worst result of the year.

It doesn’t look like that’s going to happen this time around – Lorenzo has been spectacular on race day and has built up a 25-point lead over Casey Stoner in the riders’ standings. Let the chaos commence.

Yankees on a roll 48 | June 29 2012 |

With the All-Star break just around the corner, the New York Yankees travel to Florida to face the Tampa Bay Rays in what could be a vital series for both AL East contenders.

The Yankees had an incredible run of form throughout June, including a 10-game winning streak that included series sweeps of the Mets, the Braves and the Nationals during inter-league play. They will hope the improved

form of hitters Mark Teixeira (above) and Nick Swisher will continue post-All Star Game (on July 10).

The Rays have struggled at the plate – the team’s batting average is currently the fourth worst in the majors, but they have kept themselves in the race with a strong and consistent pitching rotation and a solid bullpen, with Fernando Rodney dominant as their closer.

Adrian Dennis/AFP/Getty Images, Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

MONday BAseBALL | TAMPA BAY RAYs v neW YORK YAnKees | TROPICAnA FIeLd | esPn AMeRICA 12AM

7 Days WEDNESDAY RUGBY LEAGUE | ENGLAND v EXILES | GALPHARM STADIUM, HUDDERSfIELD | SKY SPORTS 2 7.30PM

Joe Giddens/Empics Sport, Hunter Martin/Getty Images

England go for the kill

Number of St Helens players representing the Exiles in their defeat at Langtree Park earlier this month.

Just one – James Roby – was among England’s ranks

50 | June 29 2012 |

England will go into Wednesday night’s second Origin Match against the Exiles at the Galpharm Stadium in Huddersfield full of confidence, following their 18-10 victory in the first encounter at Langtree Park.

It wasn’t pretty at St Helens’ new stadium, with driving rain making for a dour contest.

But it was a significant first step in the preparations for next year’s World Cup for coach Steve McNamara’s team.

Analysis of their performance, which culminated in a match-winning try from Wigan’s Sam Tomkins (left), showed a significant increase in intensity from the players compared to a normal Super League game, and McNamara will be looking for them to build on that in the second game.

“It was a very tough game in difficult conditions,” said McNamara. “We kicked well

and picked up some scrappy tries. That was the only way you could score. We did get loose in the first half, but in the second we had to show grit, determination and steel.”

The England coach will have to find a new skipper for the game though, after Jamie Peacock called time on his international career. Peacock said victory over the Exiles in the first Origin Series game prompted his decision.

“The last achievement I felt I could have with England would be to right the wrong and beat the Exiles team, and this has happened,” he said. “To play and captain your country is the highest honour within the game, and this was a decision that was not taken lightly.

I felt the time was right for me to step down and concentrate on playing for my club.”

The Exiles, a side made up of overseas Super League players, were weakened by a raft of late withdrawals but still remained competitive, with the Catalans Dragons scrum half Scott Dureau outstanding.

They can expect some absentees back for Wednesday’s game, which should prove a sterner test and a more attractive spectacle – particularly so if the weather is kinder.

BEST OF THE REST

FRIDAY

SUNDAY

TUESDAY

GOLF Irish Open Day 2, Royal Portrush, Sky Sports 2 10am

BEACH SOCCER 2013 FIFA Beach Soccer World Cup Qualifier: England v Azerbaijan, Moscow, ESPN 10.30am

FOOTBALL UEFA Under 19 European Championships: France v Serbia, Estonia, British Eurosport 4.45pm

GOLF AT&T National Day 2, Congressional Country Club, Sky Sports 3 8pm

SATURDAY RUGBY UNION Super Rugby: Crusaders v Hurricanes, AMI Stadium, Sky Sports 2 8.35am ATHLETICS European Championships Day 4, Helsinki, British Eurosport 9am CRICKET Friends Life T20: Hampshire v Surrey, Ageas Bowl, Sky Sports 2 2.30pm

MOTORSPORT World Superbike Championship Round 8, Aragon, Spain, British Eurosport 2 10.45am GOLF Irish Open Day 4, Royal Portrush, Sky Sports 2 12.30pm GOLF AT&T National Day 4, Congressional Country Club, Sky Sports 2 6pm

HORSE RACING John Smith’s Northumberland Plate, Newcastle Racecourse, Channel 4 3.20pm

MONDAY

CRICKET West Indies v New Zealand: 1st T20, Lauderhill, Sky Sports 2 7pm

BEACH SOCCER 2013 FIFA Beach Soccer World Cup Qualifier: England v Switzerland, Moscow, ESPN 1pm

BASEBALL MLB: NY Yankees v Chicago White Sox, Yankee Stadium, ESPN 7pm

CRICKET Friends Life T20: Gloucestershire v Welsh Dragons, County Ground, Sky Sports 2 5.30pm

FOOTBALL MLS: San Jose Earthquakes v LA Galaxy, Buck Shaw Stadium, ESPN 3am

RUGBY LEAGUE Super League: Widnes v Castleford, Stobart Stadium, Sky Sports 1 8pm

CRICKET Friends Life T20: Nottinghamshire v Lancashire, Trent Bridge, Sky Sports 1 6pm FOOTBALL UEFA Under 19 European Championships: Estonia v Portugal, Estonia, British Eurosport 6.45pm

WEDNESDAY RUGBY LEAGUE State of Origin III: Queensland v New South Wales, Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane, Sky Sports 2 10.30am

THURSDAY CRICKET West Indies v New Zealand: 1st ODI, Kingston, Sky Sports 2 3.25pm GOLF US Women’s Open Day 1 (featuring America’s Stacey Lewis, left), Blackwolf Run, Wisconsin, Sky Sports 3 11pm

| 51

P60 Adam Garfield: does whatever a spider can, only slightly less creepy

Extra time Gadgets

Making the most of your time and money

Touch and go Meet Microsoft Surface, the filthy lovechild of a tablet and a laptop

Microsoft Surface Software giant Microsoft has thrown its considerable bulk into the dainty tablet world.

Announced last week, and set for launch in October, the Surface is the first computing device that the company have made themselves. It has more in common with a laptop than most tablets; there’s a USB port, so you can print directly from it, and the top-spec 52 | June 29 2012 |

version will run Windows 8, Microsoft’s cover-all OS. The best feature is the device’s Touch Cover, which includes an impossibly thin keyboard, therefore making this a practical choice for actual work. Tablets, it turns out, aren’t just expensive toys any more. £TBC | microsoft.com/surface

F

or those who thought Ukraine’s contribution to Euro 2012 stopped at playing co-host and an Andriy Shevchenko brace against the Swedes, take a good long look at Viktoriya Konoplyanka here, stop trying to pronounce her name, and read on.

For this is, er… Vicky (can we call her Vicky?) as she appeared posing pre-tournament for a Ukrainian men’s mag as a way of showing her support for the national team.

Panini sticker collectors among you will notice she shares the same surname as Yevhen Konoplyanka – the midfielder to whom she is married and whose corner Shevchenko nodded home for their winner against Sweden.

Yevhen, linked with Arsenal, currently plays for FC Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk in the Ukrainian Premier League.

We only hope he doesn’t take the crushing blow of being knocked out of the tournament at the group stage and having to spend time at home with the missus too badly. The rest of us can but sit back and admire our co-hosts’ exquisite taste. Excellente.

Hosts with the most

Extra time Viktoriya Konoplyanka

54 | June 29 2012 |

Maxim Ukraine/Lipstick Syndication

| 55

Extra time Kit 2

Get back in the saddle Le Tour sets off tomorrow and the Olympics is just weeks away. So, you know – on yer bike

3

4

5

1 Genesis Equilibrium 20 Phil Collins and pals might not be able to dance, but they can design a bike. The Equilibrium promises a ride that is ‘fast, fun and comfortable’. £1,300 | madison.co.uk

2 BMC Teammachine SLR01 Ultegra Di2 Compact The Teammachine weighs in at a ludicrously light 6.65kg and is built for speed. So much so, that last year’s Tour de France winner Cadel Evans rode this very beast. £5,000 | evanscycles.com

3 Boardman AiR 9.0 The triathlon set-up makes the AiR 9.0 ideal for those who don’t want to separate tri and racing bikes. And if Chris Boardman tells you a bike’s good, you believe him. £2,000 | boardmanbikes.com

4 Cinelli Gazzetta Della Strada The last word in speed, elegance and practicality: Cinelli redesigned the seat stays and front fork for mudguard fitments to better cope with bad weather. £750 | probikekit.com

5 Carrera Virago

1

56 | June 29 2012 |

Carrera’s road racer boasts Shimano 105 gears on a carbon-fibre frame that weighs in at 8.6kg. £1,000 | halfords.com

Extra time Grooming

Strong tourist Drinking warm duty-free vodka on your flight is how most stag weekends begin. Pack smart, however, and you won’t end up being a casualty of tour

1. Nivea For Men selection Make room for your mankini with Nivea’s Factor 30 PocketSize Sun Lotion (50ml), StubbleFriendly Sensitive Face Care Hydro Gel (50ml) and Skin Energy Eye Roll-On (10ml). £3, £6, £8 | nivea.co.uk

2. Aromatherapy Associates De-Stress Kit 1

Stag parties make anyone tense. Thankfully, this Bath & Shower Oil (55ml) and Muscle Gel (150ml) support tender muscles and boost circulation.

2

£45 | aromatherapyassociates.com

3. Rituals Luxury Travel Kit Rituals do your packing for you with this hand luggage-sized selection of shower gel, shampoo, deodorant, shave gel and moisturiser. £22.90 | John Lewis stores, nationwide

4. Gielly Green Classic Travel Kit 3

4

The double-G’s classic hand and body lotion, body wash, shampoo, and conditioner (all 50ml) is the gentleman traveller’s choice. £18 | 020 7034 3060

5. Niven & Joshua Party Survival Kit

£18 | nivenandjoshua.com

5

Paul Smith Medium Green Steamer Trolley Suitcase Stand at the baggage carousel like you’ve made it. If you own one, you pretty much have. £545 | paulsmith.co.uk

58 | June 29 2012 |

James Lincoln, jameslincoln.co.uk

Bounce back with this Wild Rose 24-hour moisturiser (10ml), Milk Proteins 3-in-1 cleanser (14ml), Guava body butter (50ml) and shower gel (50ml), and Evening Primrose eye cream (5ml) combo.

Extra time Entertainment FilM

Spidey sense Spider-Man’s reboot sees him unleash his zinging one-liners, while Police Academy makes a comedy comeback... sort of FilM

God Bless America

eXHiBiTiON

Edvard Munch: The Modern Eye Tate Modern He painted The Scream (also known as the face we make when we realise Martin Keown is on co-commentary), but this new exhibition shows that Edvard Munch wasn’t just a one-trick pony.

The impact of the modern world on his work is clear here, with one painting based on a real-life burning building, complete with people fleeing.

You might have called the fire brigade, Edvard.

60 | June 29 2012 |

The Amazing Spider-Man Sam Raimi’s 2002 Spider-Man was heaps of fun, but this reboot does enough to earn its ‘amazing’ prefix.

While Tobey Maguire had the nerdy angst required of Peter Parker, the web 2.0 version (Brit Andrew Garfield) also delivers the cocky one-liners that are Spidey’s comic trademark. Garfield’s chemistry

BlU-RAY

with Emma Stone is this origin tale’s strong suit, leading it to be called the first superhero film aimed at women. There is a romcom element, sure, but the dizzying, high-energy set-pieces give this arachnid actioner a nimble balance. Out next Tuesday, and well worth getting stuck into.

GAMe

DVD

Mallrats

South Park Season 15

For our money, the last genuinely funny Kevin Smith film is this 1995 comedy starring Jason Lee as a slacker who spends a day at the mall plotting how to win back his ex-girlfriend. Throw in a beaten-up Easter Bunny, a dating TV show and the infamous ‘stink palm’, and you have chuckles galore. Out on Blu-ray from Monday.

Our favourite fat kid (Augustus Gloop aside) is back for another 14 episodes of chaos with his ‘friends’. What’s a Human CentiPad? Will Crack Baby Athletics catch on? And just how big is Cartman’s penis?

All the answers, and a whole lot more sweary goodness, await you on DVD from Monday.

Spec Ops: The Line (PC/PS3/Xbox 360) More involving than your usual military shooter, Spec Ops: The Line sees you immersed in the depravity of war-ravaged Dubai. There’s moral dilemmas aplenty, plus a storyline with actual depth, so you are quickly drawn in.

Sand-swirling missions also provide plenty of gritty action, so if you think morals are for pansies, just crank up the heavy rawk and blow every sucker away. Out today.

Munch Museum/Munch-EllingsendGroup/DACS 2012

It’s directed by Bobcat Goldthwait – the crazed Zed of Police Academy fame – but this black comedy looks far smarter than the Academy series (yes, including even Assignment: Miami Beach). Frank is a salesman on the brink of suicide before he decides that it’s less that he doesn’t want to live, more that he wants others to die. So he teams up with schoolgirl Roxy and they go on a killing spree of selfish, vacuous types – inevitably leading to a violent confrontation with a Pop Idol-style TV show. Out next Wednesday, and probably not one for Simon Cowell.

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