Sport Magazine - Issue 237

Issue 237 | December 9 2011

Precious silva Sport goes face to face with Manchester City’s little genius

issue 237, december 9 2011 radar 06 Make it your table

The customised table football that can feature you – and Gandhi

08 The Laureus Awards They’re big, they’re back and they’re coming to London

10 Jumpers for Goalposts A new tome examines why the the beautiful game’s turned ugly

12 Editor’s letter Why the Tiger Woods comeback still has a long way to go oFeatures this coming week

18 David Silva

18

He’s been the best player in the Premier League this season – and he’s talking to us

22 Focus 2012 This week the spotlight falls on artistic gymnastics

25 Amir Khan

Straight-talking – and gunning to be the best in the world

28 Between the Posts More words of wisdom from rugby columnist David Flatman

32 Premier League preview Martin O’Neill’s reign gets under way: can he save Sunderland?

25

39

extra Time 39 Christmas Gift Guide

Everything you might possibly want, plus some stuff you won’t

54 Grooming

Cover image Ben Duffy

Giftsetting the agenda for your Christmas stocking

06

58 Erica Hosseini

60

She surfs on the goofy foot, if you were interested

60 Entertainment

It’s not every week that ODB makes it into Sport... | December 9 2011 | 05

p8 – Dress like Chevy Chase

Radar

p8 – The devil’s kettlebells p10 – Why the fun has been sucked out of football

Top table It’s a childhood dream come true: not just to have your own likeness recreated as a table football player, but to be able to surround yourself with 21 friends, great players or anyone in the history of the world. Put yourself up front between Pele and George Best! Have your dad in goal and bury the ball past him!

Stick a Ghostbusting Bill Murray in defence!

When the people at the Games Room Company offered us the chance to have one of the Sport crew made as a player for their top-quality customisable tables, we couldn’t believe our luck. That is until we felt the hot hairdryer of boss man Simon Caney on our neck, and so requested the gaffer be immortalised in cast steel (below).

It’s no gimmick; you can have one of these stunningly detailed bespoke tables for yourself, made up of whomever you like. In the example below, we have Queen Elizabeth I as a fiery, Ray Parlour-style Arsenal midfielder, with Gandhi the playmaker in the centre. It’s not cheap, but a table customised to your very own specs would make you the envy of your pals. Especially when they see they’re not on it.

Fully customisable luxury table, £19,000, gamesroomcompany.com

There’s only two Simon Caneys: and the one sporting the natty Peru kit is far more mobile on the football pitch 06 | December 9 2011 | Sport

Radar

A very Chevy Christmas I

t’s our Christmas gift guide in today’s Sport magazine, but if there’s one seasonal gift that represents the perfect union of Christmas and sport, it’s this Chicago Blackhawks hockey jersey. Why? Because it’s an exact replica of the one worn

by American icon Clark W Griswold, played by Chevy Chase in holiday classic National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

This is the film where all Griswold wants for Christmas is to see his boss so he can tell him “what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirteating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is!”

This is of the seasonal spirit – and maybe it’s even something you might wish for too. But it’s probably safer to lounge around on Christmas Day in one of these NHL bad boys instead.

$179, customthrowbackjerseys.com

Hell’s bells EI

xercise is the devil’s work, so there’s no better way to work out than with this DemonBells range of kettlebells.

They come in weights of 20lb, 35lb, 54lb or a satanic 72lb, and aren’t just designed for show; they have anatomic handle grips and specific weight distribution for ideal balance.

Perfect for all your swings, snatches and jerks – though if your own mush starts to resemble one of the faces below, it’s perhas best to put down the weight and take a long breather.

Find out more at demonbells.com

London calls for Laureus I

n his prime, Ed Moses won 122 400m hurdles races in a row. Now chair of the Laureus World Sports Academy, he’s no longer receiving medals, instead dishing them out at the Laureus World Sports Awards, which recognises outstanding achievement.

The big bash has been held in Monaco, Barcelona and Abu Dhabi, and in 2012 it’s coming to London. To Westminster’s Central Hall on February 6, to be precise, where the greatest names in sport will gather to see who’s crowned Laureus World Sportsman and Sportswoman (take note, BBC) of the Year.

Allstarpl.com. Tony Duffy/Getty Images

Nominations are announced on December 15

08 | December 9 2011 |

Radar

The game is up 1 How they stole the World (Cup) The World Cup, the greatest spectacle on earth, used to be like an extended Christmas Day. Now it’s more akin to New Year’s Eve: an overhyped disappointment invariably populated by numpties. The previous final was a farrago of brattishness and calculated thuggery, the most depressing event in the history of football, sport and mankind. There are various reasons – too many teams, too many games, too much at stake – but perhaps the biggest is the lack of mystery.

A combination of globalisation, saturation and the internet means that what was a glorious trip into the unknown, in which we’d find unfamiliar Brazilians who could do 1,000 keepy-uppies with their lingam, now carries the ennui of the overfamiliar. Once we had one bad World Cup every generation; now we get one every four years.

2 Don't believe the hype A breaking-news ticker should be used for newsflashes: JFK moments, not SWP moments. Yet in recent times, Sky Sports News’ yellow ticker has brought us everything from Heidar Helguson signing a one-year contract extension to England’s plane landing safely in South Africa. This knobwash reflects the grotesque hype that has consumed football. With Bin Laden and Gaddafi gone, it might just be the most evil thing on earth.

3 A hard knock life Before the the Premier League was invented, terrace dwellers the nation over could fall as hard for a wrong‘un as Sharon Watts: every team in the land had a hatchet man. Graeme Souness, Jack Charlton, Chopper Harris, Dave Mackay... the list is endless. When you played against these men you knew pain was in the post, and usually by special delivery. Nobody wants to see broken legs, of course, but a few bruises here and there wouldn’t do today’s prima donnas any harm. In a better world, every team should be forced to play at least one nutjob per game: a man who should be made to sport a volumous bubble-perm-and-’tache combination for ease of identification.

Competition

Win! Super 8 on DVD! onday December 12 sees Paramount Home Entertainment’s DVD and Blu-ray release of J.J. Abrams’ breathtaking adventure Super 8. To celebrate the release, Sport has 10 copies to give away.

Produced by Steven Spielberg, the exhilarating story follows a group of friends in a small Ohio town who witness a catastrophic train crash while making a movie on their super 8 camera. When they realise that it was no accident, they set out to find the truth — something more shocking than any of them could have imagined. Combining action, humour and heart, Super 8 features outstanding performances from a fresh young cast that will leave you on the edge of your seat.

M

Super 8 is now available to pre-order at amazon.co.uk. But for your chance to win one of 10 copies Sport has to give away, just answer the following question: Which of the following actresses is the older sister of Super 8 star Elle Fanning? a Dakota Fanning b Isabel Fanning c Jennifer Anniston To enter, text SUPER, your answer A, B or C and your name to 81089 Texts cost 50p+ std network charge. Competition closes at midnight on Thursday December 15 2011.

Full terms and conditions at sport-magazine.co.uk.

SUPER 8 © 2011 Paramount Pictures. All Rights Reserved

10 | December 9 2011 |

Jumpers for Goalposts is out now, published by Elliott & Thompson

Stanley Chou/Getty Images

I

n their new book Jumpers For Goalposts, Rob Smyth and Georgina Turner bemoan the nature of modern footy. We asked them for a taster and they instead delivered a veritable top 10 on why the game has lost its soul, which features in full on our Sport iPad app (it’s free, so do the decent thing and download it now). Here is a brief beginning to their ire...

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Radar Editor’s letter He’s back!

Er... isn’t he? www.sport-magazine.co.uk @sportmaguk facebook.com/sportmaguk

Sport magazine Part of UTV Media plc 18 Hatfields, London SE1 8DJ Telephone: 020 7959 7800 Fax: 020 7959 7942 Email: firstname.lastname@ sport-magazine.co.uk

EDITORIAL Editor-in-chief: Simon Caney (7951) Deputy editor: Tony Hodson (7954) Associate editor: Nick Harper (7897) Art editor: John Mahood (7860) Deputy art editor: William Jack (7861) Subeditor: Graham Willgoss (7431) Senior writers: Sarah Shephard (7958), Alex Reid (7915) Staff writers: Mark Coughlan (7901), Amit Katwala (7914) Picture editor: Julian Wait (7961) Production manager: Tara Dixon (7963) Contributors: Georgina Turner, Rob Smyth

One swallow, etc etc

COMMERCIAL

Golf needs a resurgent Tiger Woods, but he’s still a long way short of his best

Editor-in-chief Simon Caney @simoncaney

But that was almost seven years ago.

And while he did win the Chevron World Challenge, it was in a field of 18. A very decent field, too, but with none of the world’s top four playing. Quite simply, Woods is nowhere near the player he was a few years ago – he still looks at odds with his swing, and where once he was the greatest putter I ever saw, these days too many slide by the hole.

Crucially, there is a psychological aspect too. Opponents used to be scared of him, especially when they went head to head down the stretch. He seemed to be a machine. Nowadays, Woods has lost that aura – he has been exposed as a deeply flawed human being, and his golf game is a long, long way from those days when he seemed so invincible.

I’d love to see Tiger charge through the back nine on the final day at Augusta, but I’m afraid I just can’t see it happening.

The news from Brazil that Socrates has passed away filled me with enormous sadness. That Brazil team from the 1982 World Cup inspired a whole generation to appreciate the finer things in football. They were an incredible side who did incredible things with the ball, the likes of which I’d never seen. Socrates once said: “Winning can’t be everything in this game. The art and the beauty should be part of it as well.” A fitting epitaph to a giant of the beautiful game.

Finally, a fond farewell to Shane Williams, who bowed out of international rugby with a try against Australia at the weekend. He has been a colossus for Wales for the past few years, and a wing of the very highest calibre.

His small boots will take some filling, but one hopes that Wales, showing so much promise, will find a worthy replacement.

Colour reproduction: Rival Colour Ltd Printed by: Wyndeham (Peterborough) Ltd © UTV Media plc 2011 UTV Media plc takes no responsibility for the content of advertisements placed in Sport magazine £1 where sold

Hearty thanks this week to: Lucy Smith, Joe McNamara, Joseph Clarke, Rachel Higgin, Father Christmas Total Average Net Distribution: 306,217 Jan-Jun 2011

Reader comments of the week I’d like to applaud your evaluation of the SPOTY nomination process.

It is journalists like you who make me feel British journalism still has some proper journalists who speak their mind.

Daniel, via email

12 | December 9 2011 |

@simoncaney thought your piece on SPOTY was best and most balanced I’ve read yet. Agree fully, although the MEN editor not helping IMO!

@neilly_rob Twitter

Not calling 4 positive discrimination @simoncaney @Sportmaguk but panel of 27 men irrespective of jobs will struggle to be representative.

@simoncaney just read your sport article. How could never knowing be for the best when it comes to Speed? Sounds awfully suspicious/easy...

A lovely Editor’s letter on Friday by @simoncaney. Very touching. RIP Gary Speed.

@tim_woodhouse Twitter

@JEdwards1986 Twitter

@joenaldinho Twitter

LAUNCH OF THE YEAR

2008

Don’t forget: Help keep public transport clean

and tidy for everyone by taking your copy of Sport away with you when you leave the bus or train.

Agree or disagree? Tweet us @sportmaguk

Robert Meggers/Getty Images

R

ight, let’s get this out in the open: Tiger Woods won’t win a major in 2012. In fact, I don’t think he’ll win a PGA Tour event at all next year.

Now, when I said this on Twitter at the weekend, I was rounded on as Tiger’s not inconsiderable army of fans let me know the full weight of their feelings. Their man had, after all, just returned to the winner’s circle for the first time in too long. The fist-pump was back!

Nobody would welcome the sight of a truly in-form TIger more than me. He is good for the game – true, maybe the cameras spend too much time on him, but when he’s on song he makes things happen. He has done so ever since his days as an amateur, and his chip-in at the 70th hole of the 2005 Masters ranks as one of the most amazing shots you’ll ever see. Pure theatre.

Agency Sales Director: Iain Duffy (7991) Advertising Managers: Paul Brett (7918), Dan Dawson (7822), Kevin O’Byrne (7832) Head of Brand Solutions: Adam Harris (7426) Distribution Manager: Sian George (7852) Distribution Assistant: Makrum Dudgeon Head of Online: Matt Davis (7825) Managing Director: Adam Bullock PA to Managing Director: Sophia Koulle (7826)

Radar Frozen in time

Photo by Alain Grosclaude/Agence Zoom/Getty Images

Bunker mentality This is Sport Towers HQ in London, where we make the magic happen each and every week: a vast granite structure that reeks of pale ale, pickled eggs and the most God-awful guff you’ll ever smell. Why do you think the windows are wide open? And here we see several members of the ever-cheery editorial team taking a break and staring down at the world below. In case you were wondering, that’s the editor on the far right, wondering if Tesco is still hiring.

Sadly for him – and us – they’re not.

(Note: these lads are actually style judges at the FIS Ski Jumping World Cup in Lillehammer, Norway, and clearly loving every second)

14 | December 9 2011 |

| 15

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David Silva

AND FOR MY NEXT TRICK...

Unbeaten in the league since May, Manchester City’s grand masterplan finally seems to be coming together – and central to their success is a quiet young Spaniard from the Canary Islands. Sport caught up with David Silva to talk life at City, growing up in Spain and, of course, that 6-1 win

18 | December 9 2011 |

B

You grew up watching your dad, a semi-pro footballer. Tell us how you learned to play and how you fell in love with the game.

“Learned to play the game? You don’t learn to play football. It’s not like school, where someone can sit you down and teach you how to do this or do that. You have to know how to play and love playing, then you learn new things. I suppose I just picked it up like all other children do, playing with my friends.

We played wherever we could.”

You were rejected by Real Madrid aged 12, but Valencia took you in when you were 14.

Was it a hard decision to move home and sign for them?

“Yes, because I was very young. It’s a big move to go to a big city, and the Canary Islands are away from the mainland. It was a tough decision to move, but it was too good an opportunity to turn down.”

It was at Valencia where you established yourself among a team of star names, including Joaquin, David Villa and Juan Mata.

When the time came to finally leave, how difficult was it?

“It was a very hard decision for me. Valencia is a club that will always be close to my heart, but I felt it was the right time to start a new challenge. When Manchester City approached me, it seemed like a great opportunity. I had a lot of contact with the likes of Pepe Reina and Fernando Torres, who were already playing over here, and they both told me how great the Premier League was.”

So why Manchester City?

“Because they were the team that most believed in me. Before coming over here, I had already spoken to Roberto Mancini and I felt confident this was a club that was going well. The club showed a lot of desire to get me involved, and having the chance to work on such an exciting project and with a manager like Mancini was impossible to ignore. With everything considered, Manchester City was the ideal destination for both my domestic career and my international one.”

Silva was United’s chief tormentor in City’s biggest win over their rivals since 1926

After you signed, do you feel it took you a while to settle into the pace of the Premier League?

“That is for others to say. You have to remember I was under a lot of pressure, having signed for a big fee [reportedly £24m].

I had just come back from the World Cup and I had no time off, so it was all a bit sudden.

The Premier League is different to Spain.

They play harder and faster over here, so you have less time on the ball and less time to recover when you make a mistake.”

Does being talked about as ‘the best player in the Premier League’ put you under more pressure, or do you enjoy it?

“Oh, I enjoy it, definitely. I just enjoy coming here and playing football with my friends.

I hope I will have the good luck to win the league, but I wouldn’t say I’m the best player because there are a number of great players. Will I pick one out? No.”

“we are constantly improving as a team” Fair enough. Do you feel like you’ve settled in Manchester now?

“I like Manchester. I live on the outskirts of the city, so it’s a bit quieter than the centre, but it’s really good. The weather is hard to get used to – but yeah, the rest is okay.”

What do you enjoy most about playing with Manchester City?

“City have an outstanding squad of players. It feels like we are constantly improving as a team and individuals by playing together. >

| 19

Ben Duffy. Andrew John Simpson. Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images. Pierre-Philippe Marcou/AFP/Getty Images

attering Manchester United in front of their own fans. The Carlos Tevez affair. Anything at all to do with Mario Balotelli. In recent times, the blue half of Manchester has become more than accustomed to making the headlines. For manager Roberto Mancini, however, the ones that matter appear on the back pages rather than front – and David Silva is doing more than his fair share to help produce them.

It took more than one attempt for the duo to finally link up, however. Having twice rebuffed approaches from Mancini during his spell at Inter Milan, and then sent City delegates away with the promise that he’d rather carry a collection bucket around the Mestalla than sell his prized possession, Valencia president Manuel Llorente finally succumbed to financial pressure in the summer of 2010.

Now we know why Llorente didn’t want to lose his man. Since arriving in England, Silva has lit up the Premier League – and this term, from a more influential central role, he is starting to show how good he can really be.

Four goals and eight assists in the league thus far don’t even begin to describe the 25-year-old’s importance to his team, but when we meet him at Man City’s Carrington training ground, any talk of being the best player in the league is quickly rebuffed with a chuckle. “I’m not the best,” he insists.

“There are too many good players in this league to talk about, so I’m just happy to be playing here.”

Such is the taciturn modesty the slight Spaniard seems to prefer. Silva understands English, but prefers to talk in his native Spanish to avoid any misunderstanding [and, perhaps, to avoid being misquoted].

Everything he says is carefully measured and intently delivered, his dark eyes selling you each word before his interpreter gets to work. Silva appears a man in control of his life and very much happy in the present, so we decide to delve into his past. As much as he wants to talk about it, anyway...

David Silva

The way we are set up at City is similar to the way the Spanish national team is set up – both are designed to play fast, attacking football, which suits my style of play. With both Spain and City, I feel like I need to be at the top of my game to get into the side; as a player, that keeps you on your toes and always wanting to perform at the very highest level.”

It must help having so many big names around you. Does that make things more competitive?

“No, not really. As I said, we are all just friends. There were many important names in the Valencia changing room as well, and the national team has some great names, so I am used to playing with quality players.”

Did the 6-1 win over Manchester United help that friendship?

“Yeah, we understand that we are rivals, so it was obviously a fantastic result for the club, the players, and especially the supporters. Every game is important. The season is not just about one game, and we know we have to be at our best against every team in the Premier League to achieve our goals. However, I know how much it meant to everyone involved in the club to beat our big rivals – the fans have been waiting for this type of result for a long time, so it felt fantastic.”

Everything was bad and people said we would never win anything. Now we’ve won two tournaments, everything has suddenly become good.”

silva in the Premier league 2011/12

If you do win the league, there are sure to be people who say the club bought its way to glory. Does that bother you?

“No, not at all. Our main aim is to win.

People think it is easy for us, but it’s not just about bringing good players here; you need to make those players into a good team.

We brought in less players in the summer; we’re becoming more of a team now.”

14

35

Minutes on Pitch

1,095

Goals

4

4 Minutes per Goal

37.8 52%

41%

Chance Conversion

14%

10%

Passing Touches per Game

63.3

Goal Assists

8

7

Minutes per Chance Created

35.1

Pass Completion

89%

87%

Dribbling Minutes per Dribble

35.3

42.0

Dribble Completion

65%

57%

Stats provided by Opta Sports

20 | December 9 2011 |

Who’s the best player you’ve ever played with?

“Andres Iniesta. He is brilliant to watch, and even better to play with. He creates chances, but it’s not just that. He also works so hard for the whole game.”

65.7

Shooting Accuracy

27.2 That seems to cover it, yeah. Spain are world and European champions. Why are you so much better than everyone else?

“Yeah, winning two tournaments back to back is good for us. I think it’s just the coincidence of a very good generation of players coming through at the same time. Before the Euros, we hadn’t won anything for so long.

640.8

Minutes per Shot

72.5 Can you try and put into words how it feels to have won a World Cup with Spain?

[Laughs] “Incredible. That is all I can say.”

2,563

in front of goal

273.8 You talked about the fans. How much have the City fans made you feel welcome?

“They’ve been fantastic. The passion of the supporters, whether at home or away, has been superb. We have a diverse mix of players at the club, and everyone who has come in has been given the backing of the fans. That really helps to create a happy environment.”

2010/11

Appearances

Tactically, what are the big differences between England and Spain?

“Well, England play a very different style of play. They play quick and like to attack, we like to pass the ball and create chances in time. I think they played in a different way against us a few weeks ago, though. They didn’t leave us any spaces to play at all, and then they took advantage of any mistakes we made. It isn’t their usual style, but it worked.”

What are you ultimate aims in football?

“I don’t look too far ahead, but I’d like to win the title with Manchester City. I hope we can win the league, and then win the European Cup soon maybe. We’ll see what happens.”

Finally, what’s your favourite thing about being a footballer?

“It’s a huge privilege to make a living from my passion. I love to play beautiful football and I’ve been fortunate to play at clubs, and with a national team, that enjoys to play attacking football. As long as that continues, I’m very happy with where things are right now.”

MArk CouGhlAn @coffers83

The new adidas F50 miCoach boots record your speed and distance covered. adidas is searching for the fastest players in the country – join the Hunt for Fast at adidas.com/football

AFP Photo/Ian Kington. Andrew Yates/AFP/Getty Images. Paul Gilham/Getty Images

“i know how much it meant to beat our big rivals 6-1”

Did it make a statement that you’ve now overtaken United?

“We’re going step by step, so we don’t like to think like that. We want to carry on like this and win the title. Until then, we’ve done nothing.”

231 Days to go

Focus 2012

Artistic gymnastics

THE VENUE Under its catchy Games-time moniker of the North Greenwich Arena, the dome better known as the O2 will host some of the bendiest individuals in sport next summer.

Since opening in 2007, the venue has been home to events ranging from Rihanna’s public gyrating sessions to Michael McIntyre’s ‘comedy’ roadshow. It has also provided a roof for one of the highest-profile events in men’s tennis and the NBA’s annual visit. One might describe the arena as flexible, which is apt.

It has already held a major gymnastics tournament, too: the 2009 World Championships, when both Daniel Keatings and Beth Tweddle reached the podium. A repeat performance next year would do nicely, thanks.

THE EVENT The word ‘gymnastics’ might emanate from the Greek for ‘naked’, but there’ll be none of that in North Greenwich, where 14 gold medals will be up for grabs in 2012.

As well as competitions to find the best teams and finest all-around gymnasts, athletes get the chance to battle for gold on individual pieces of apparatus. For the men, that includes the torturous rings, pommel horse, floor, vault, parallel bars and horizontal bar. Women tackle

22 | December 9 2011 |

GB hopeful

Daniel Purvis

the uneven bars, balance beam, floor and vault.

On each piece gymnasts receive scores from a panel of judges, who take into account the routine’s degree of difficulty and its execution.

First up in North Greenwich will be the team event, which also acts as the qualifiers for the all-around and individual events. So gymnasts will be looking to finish in the top 24 to make it through to the all-around final, and in the top eight on each apparatus to reach the individual apparatus finals. No more than two gymnasts per nation can compete in either. Got it? Good.

AGE IN 2012 21 MEDAL RECORD European Championships bronze 2011; World Championships bronze 2010; European Championships bronze 2010

TEAM GB’S PROGRESS Tim Jones, British Gymnastics Olympics performance director, has said he has been “blown away with the quality” of the women’s team results this year. “With the boys we’re making some significant strides forward,” he adds. “The Japanese are incredibly strong and the Chinese are good on their day, but we can mix it with the Americans and I think we’ve gone some way to closing that gap already.”

The GB men’s team might have missed their first chance to qualify for London 2012 at October’s World Championships in Tokyo, but there was one standout performance that hints at a positive future. Purvis finished fourth in the all-around competition, narrowly missing out on a medal that looked likely to be his until the final piece of apparatus, the high bar.

Having won all-around European bronze in April – a weighty addition to his 2010 World and European floor bronze medals – Purvis has an impressive base from which to launch his Olympic assault.

ARTISTIC GYMNASTICS AT LONDON 2012 DATES July 28-August 7 SEATING 20,000 HOW TO GET THERE Tube, National Rail, Thames Clipper

Liverpudlian Purvis may not share headlines with Louis Smith or Daniel Keatings, but the 21-year-old is quietly making a name for himself.

Purvis is supporting the ‘Be There with Team 2012’ appeal, which is raising funds for the 1,200 athletes in Team 2012, presented by Visa. See team-2012.com

KEY EVENTS BEFORE LONDON 2012 London 2012 Test Event January 10-18 2012, North Greenwich Arena Women’s European Artistic Gymnastics Championships May 9-13 2012, Belgium Men’s European Artistic Gymnastics Championship May 21-27 2012, France

Clive Rose/Getty Images

Grace, strength and no little skill – there is much to admire about the best-known gymnastic discipline...

NIVEAFORMEN.co.uk

GROOMING AWARDS 2011 WE THOUGHT SEVEN YEARS RUNNING WAS IMPRESSIVE. UNTIL WE MADE IT EIGHT.

Amir Khan

Amir Khan talks to Sport about how he plans to beat Lamont Peterson this weekend, then call out the big guns in 2012 to reach his ultimate goal: becoming the number-one fighter in the world Tell us about Lamont Peterson. What dangers does he bring to the ring?

“He’s got speed, power and he’s a pressure fighter. He’s been in 31 fights, and he’s drawn one and lost only one, so he has good experience. Also, we’re fighting in his home state of Washington, and I think the home support is going to give him real motivation.”

Peterson’s only defeat was on points to your light-welterweight rival Tim Bradley.

Do you want to go one better and stop him?

“I definitely want to beat him in a better style than Tim Bradley did. The fight between Bradley and him was a bit scruffy, because Bradley puts his head low and he’s more of a fighter than a boxer [in style]. I think me against Peterson will be more skilful; like a

game of chess, but whoever makes a mistake or misses is going to pay big time.”

9

Bradley has begun dropping your name again – is it still a fight you’re interested in?

“Two fights we have put to him, two contracts that would have earned him a lot of money.

He would have got paid a lot more than he got against 40-year-old Joel Casamayor [last month]. I don’t think he’ll ever fight me. He just uses my name to get the hype going, but that’s what he’s all about – hype. When the time comes to sign for a fight, he pulls out.”

This is your last fight before you move up to welterweight. Who are you targeting in 2012?

“Floyd Mayweather, Shane Mosley... I want to fight those big names. I have to take care of

Amir Khan’s ranking among the best boxers on the planet, according to Sports Illustrated and Boxrec

Lamont Peterson, maybe have one fight to adjust at 147lb, and then have a super-fight.

Everyone knows I’m not one to back away from a fight. I’ll fight whoever is put in front of me – or I’ll call people out just to get a fight on. By doing that, you see who does or doesn’t want to fight you. Maybe boxers you thought were tough don’t want to take the fight. Bradley and Erik Morales; they’re the names I can mention at the moment who are like that.”

Floyd Mayweather has a reputation for hand-picking opponents – are you concerned he might give you the swerve?

“We’ll see. I’ve got Peterson, so one fight at a time. After this we can see if we can start negotiating with Mayweather. It’s a fight I want – there’s no one out there Floyd could fight who would be a more credible opponent.

Negotiations between him and Manny Pacquiao have fallen through so many times that people have lost heart a bit in that fight. They’re looking for a new fighter to fight Mayweather and beat him. I have the style to do that.” >

| December 9 2011 | 25

Emilio Sanchez

Room at the top

Amir Khan

Khan’s hit list Bolton’s finest aims to reach the top of the pound-for-pound list. Here are five opponents who can help him get there THe NexT STep Lamont Peterson 29-1-1 (15 KOs), 27 yrs First things first – and Peterson is no easy mark.

The classy American lightwelterweight has tenacity, a strong in-fighting game and has lost just one of his 31 professional contests. The Brit’s speed, movement and power should prove decisive, but if King Khan takes this fight lightly, Peterson could find him out.

“In the next 12 months, you’ll see me in the top three. I’m definitely ready to fight anyone” How do you go about preparing to beat someone as good as Mayweather?

“It’s about not making mistakes – because as soon as you make a mistake, Floyd will pick up on it and try to take you out. You have to use your brain; hit, move, use the angles. Also, I have Freddie Roach in the corner, who will give me the best game plan.

He’s been watching Floyd Mayweather for years because Manny Pacquiao was going to fight him, so Freddie knows Floyd’s style exactly.”

Speaking of Pacquiao, he didn’t look too great in his last fight against Juan Manuel Marquez.

What was that down to?

“You always have that one style in boxing that you just struggle to cope with; Marquez just happens to have that style for Manny. Also, you don’t know what happened outside the ring – so much can happen that can play with a fighter’s head. We don’t know the truth yet, and the best person to ask is Manny. Once he gets back to our training camp, I’ll probably ask him what he thought of the fight and what happened. But I think people expect too much of Manny Pacquiao. He’s a great boxer who’s been winning so many big fights, but you always have that one fighter who you always seem to have problems with.

Marquez is just that guy.”

26 | December 9 2011 |

There are a lot of boxers in their thirties at the top of the pound-forpound rankings now – including Pacquiao, Mayweather and Sergio Martinez. Is it possible for you to see a future gap in the market there?

“Definitely. I think I’m about number nine in the world pound-for-pound, and I’m only 24; the youngest on the list by far, so it’s great to be in that position now. By the time I hit my peak at the age of 26, 27, that’s when I’ll be at the top of my game – and hopefully I’ll be number one by then. A lot of fighters are turning professional at my age and I’m a two-title world champion right now, so that’s a good feeling.”

Have you talked with Freddie Roach about where you need to improve to get to that number-one spot?

“Yes, and Freddie knows exactly how to get me there: it’s about being focused, training hard and getting the right fights at the right time. I don’t want to rush into big fights, but hopefully I’m about to move swiftly into the right division. I think moving up to 147lb will make me a better, stronger fighter.

Within the next 12 months, you’ll hopefully see me in the top three in the world, pound-for-pound. I’m definitely ready to fight anyone.”

Alex ReId @otheralexreid

Amir Khan v Lamont Peterson will be shown live on Saturday December 10, Sky Sports 1 from 8pm

Zab Judah slips a Khan jab, but he couldn’t avoid the crunching body shot that stopped him back in July

THe BiG KaHuNa Floyd Mayweather Jnr 42-0 (26 KOs), 34 yrs A man who needs little introduction. If Khan can be the first fighter to beat the most supremely gifted technical boxer of his generation, he’ll zip straight to the top of the pound-for-pound rankings. Khan wants the fight next summer (in Britain, if possible), but getting Little Floyd into the ring is almost as hard as beating him once you’re there.

THe NaTural NemeSiS Tim Bradley 28-0 (12 KOs), 28 yrs The thorn in Khan’s side, Tim Bradley is the ‘other’ champion at light-welterweight.

A super-fight between the pair was highly anticipated this year, but the strong, unflashy, undefeated American apparently turned down two fight offers. Khan claims to be fed up negotiating with him, but you get the sense there is unfinished business here.

THe pOTeNTial player Kell Brook 25-0 (17 KOs), 25 yrs The stylish Sheffield welterweight with the handsdown, Naseem Hamed style has been calling Khan out, but the truth is that Brook needs to prove himself at a higher level before he’s considered a credible opponent. If Brook can gets some big wins on his CV, this could be a domestic thriller.

Scott Heavey/Getty Images. Brendon Thorne/Getty Images. Ethan Miller/Getty Images. Chris Brunskill/Getty Images

THe Old GuNSliNGer Juan Manuel Marquez 53-6-1 (39 KOs), 38 yrs He's 38 years old and a natural featherweight, but Mexico’s Marquez is the kryptonite to Manny Pacquiao’s Superman. The beefed-up old git proved this once more in losing a hotly disputed majority decision to the Pac-Man last month. With Khan adamant he won’t target his stablemate Pacquiao, the great Mexican could be a 2012 option.

Comment

between the posts bath and england prop david Flatman’s inside take on the week in rugby

ou’re never too old for a Christmas stocking. Yes, it’s childish and shallow to want one, but it’s also human. While I would hope we would possess a touch more depth of character, there is no hiding a trait we share with the common or garden magpie.

Everybody likes new, shiny stuff. Or, at the very least, they should.

So, iPads and robot vacuums (yes, that’s right – you need one) aside, what might we request from Santa Claus this year, on behalf of our beloved game of rugger?

Pascal Pavani/AFP/Getty Images. Tom Pennington/Getty Images. Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images

Y

1. Altered imAge Well, the prohibition of alcohol might be a start. I jest, of course, but a gentle boost to the reputation of the game might not go amiss. Whether, at the end of this year’s Rugby World Cup, you were left feeling disgusted, bewildered or just a little bored by it all, what cannot be doubted is the knock rugby took as a result – certainly in this country.

A hefty enough overhaul of the system would bring about a dose of short-term relief but, looking further ahead, we – being England – need to find ways to win trophies on the back of the efforts of a harmonious, honest, driven organisation. Naturally I think this ought to begin with me being named as captain, but I seem to have the wrong email address for HQ. Either that, or they’re all just really busy. Hmm.

28 | December 9 2011 |

2. pAck to the future

3. seAsonAl effective reorder?

The next item on my wish list is a bit more niche. For me, the iconic image of rugby is a steaming pack of apes binding together to become one, bending over and battering into the other mob to scrummage their hearts out in order that their team might maintain possession of the ball. What is less iconic is the sounding of a shrill whistle two seconds later.

The scrum as we know it, or knew it, is dying. The evolution of the relatively recently invented ‘hit’ has meant that the actual pushing in many scrums is beginning too early; that the team with the put-in has a massive advantage – they can hit and go with their scrum half ordered to put the ball in (crooked) if and when the hit goes well, and not if it doesn’t, in which case the defending team can be penalised for pushing early; and that the poor referees now have a million things to look for in a split second.

The result is a scene resembling a cartoon dust-up, with limbs popping out at different angles and the only means of stopping the carnage being a two-inch whistle. One idea is to introduce a dedicated scrum referee at every match, but this all feels a bit New Labour ‘jobs for the boys’.

A better approach would be to simplify what we have ourselves complicated and take it back to basics: a pushing and hooking contest. Come on, Santa, drop some gold dust on the IRB.

Summer rugby is an interesting one. As much as I love the muddy dogfights we endure in the winter months, I can’t help thinking that they’re a lot less likely to persuade new supporters to attend than a contest played out on a sunny afternoon. Practical jackets, thick gloves and a hat, or flip-flops and a pint of cider? Being seven or eight stone above

“for me, the iconic imAge of rugby is A steAming pAck of Apes binding together to bAtter into the other mob”

Sponsored by a momenT of CharaCTer wiTh The new peugeoT 308 Rugby is a sport that demands character.

The 1997 British and Irish Lions arrived in Cape Town ahead of the first Test as massive underdogs. The Springboks were reigning world champions and had assembled a fearsome team led by the talismanic number eight Gary Teichmann.

The tourists, meanwhile, had been written off by the media, the locals and even the head of the South African Rugby Union. Very few believed they stood any chance of victory.

As Welsh winger Ieuan Evans recalled: “Very few gave us a chance. As we flew off, the Springboks gave the very strong impression that they only had to turn up to win the series.

Joel Stransky and Rudi Straeuli, two English-based members of their 1995 World Cup team, were so impressed by the Lions that they backed South Africa to win 3-0!”

Of course, forwards coach Jim Telfer wasn’t one of the naysayers – and he let his team know it in his now famous teamtalk: “They don’t respect you. They don’t rate you.

You have to outdo what they do. Outjump them, outscrum them, outruck them, outdrive them, outtackle them – until they’re sick of you.”

An inspired Lions side duly responded winning a thrilling Test thanks to tries from Matt Dawson and Alan Tait, and the imperious boot of full back Neil Jenkins. They went on to win one of the greatest series in Lions history, returning home heroes – and leaving the Boks well and truly sick of them.

the recommended weight for the average six-footer, I’d be in flip-flops in the snow due to excessive body heat, but perhaps I’m not the best gauge here. Ardent fans will take pride in being there whatever the weather, and we love them for that, but darkness, wind and rain just isn’t what most people want to sit in to fill their spare time.

Plus, it’s blimmin’ cold to train in these conditions; spare a thought for the poor players. Maybe we should all start wearing tights. No – I’d rather freeze.

4. JerSeyS Too TighT To menTion Now for one of the real issues affecting our game: tight jerseys.

Imagine being one of those blokes who, despite being nothing but ripped, taut muscle, looks like he’s got a bit of a gut. Then imagine being presented with a rugby shirt that looks like it’s just been pulled off a child’s teddy bear, and being told to wear it on national television. Now, I’m one of the lucky ones (see right), but think how uncomfortable this must be for the rounder gentleman. Mother Nature can be a cruel mistress, but nowhere near as cruel as the presumably wafer-thin trendies who design these modern jerseys. To these marketing types, they must resemble a glossy blank canvas on which to advertise. To me, they are nothing more than a polyester attack on

the self-confidence of our nation’s sporting elite. A return to the old-school, cotton jerseys with proper public-school collars is long overdue. We can but pray.

5. here Come The girlS...

Look out of your office window and you’ll see there are loads of gorgeous women in England. So why aren’t more of them cheerleading at our games? You see some every now and then, but it’s never really a concept that has settled into domestic rugby on these shores. It’s time for that to change. We are forever being told to copy the NFL, be it their diets or their training techniques. Well, they also know how to entertain (above). Now, we don’t want our players turning all ‘yeah baby’ overnight, but a few pom-pom girls wouldn’t go amiss.

I know, I know, I’m being a pig. But guess what: I’m okay with that!

Time for full ConTaCT Scrum down for another ruck-and-roll rampage as talkSPORT’s Mike Bovill is joined by some of the biggest characters in the game to tackle rugby’s hardest-hitting issues and discuss the latest news from across the sport. The World Cup may be a distant memory, but the action never stops. full Contact with Mike Bovill, this Sunday from 8pm to 10pm, on talkSPORT 1089/1053AM. In association with the new Peugeot 308. Show some character.

never settle.

The new peugeot 308.

Show some character.

Visit peugeot.co.uk

Right, that’s a few things sorted. I just hope this magazine reaches Greenland. Oh, and just one more thing – football cash would be nice. No, mustn’t mention money. Sorry.

DAVID fLATMAN @davidflatman

| 29

7 Days OUR PICK OF THE ACTION FROM THE SPORTING WEEK AHEAD

DEC 9–15 HIGHLIGHTS » Football: Sunderland v Blackburn » p32 » Football: Chelsea v Man City » p33 » La Liga: Real Madrid v Barcelona » p34 » Swimming: European Champs » p35 » Best of the Rest » p35

Thursday> DARTS | PDC WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP | ALExANDRA PALACE | SKy SPORTS 1 7PM

Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images

Taking aim Are you looking forward to defending your world title?

“I can’t wait to get up there to tell the truth.

I’ve drawn Nigel Heydon in the first round, which is going to be a tough game. But I’ve played him maybe four or five times, and I’ve got a good record against him. I think having a tough game in the first round always sets you up well for the tournament.”

Have you had to deal with added pressure this year, being the defending world champ?

“After I won everybody said I was gonna be a target all year. I found that on some occasions people have just played out of

their skin against me. Other occasions I’ve turned people over quite easy, so I’ll just take each game as it comes, and I won’t feel any added pressure because it’s the World Championships. you’re under enough pressure already without thinking about that.”

Who will your main rival be?

“Phil Taylor, without a shadow of a doubt.

He’s had a brilliant year again – everybody wrote him off at the beginning of the year, and I just think ‘more fool them’. Look at all the majors that he’s won – I don’t think that record will ever be beaten.”

Sport spoke to world champion Adrian ‘Jackpot’ Lewis as the 26-year-old gets ready to defend his PDC World Darts Championship title – the action gets under way on Thursday at London’s Alexandra Palace Phil mentored you for many years – what did you learn from him?

“When I first played with him he was just teaching me about finishing and about dedication, and I think that’s what you need, definitely, more than anything. you can’t be lazy and not practise, and that’s why I try and practise every day, if I’m not busy. I could be up there between three and five hours, but I make sure I’ll do five or more in the next couple of weeks ready for my first game. I’m still learning the ropes and it’s still my aim to win between eight and 10 world titles – there’s no reason I can’t do that.”

For exclusive video content, including Adrian Lewis showing off his famous ‘blind throw’, download the Sport iPad app, available FREE at the App Store. | December 9 2011 | 31

7 Days

Enter O’Neill There was a look of ‘oh lord, what have I done?’ on the face of new Sunderland manager Martin O’Neill as he watched his side throw away a winning position at Molineux last week.

Steve Bruce’s sacking came prematurely for some outside the club. But the consensus among fans was that, having failed to make the most of a huge summer transfer kitty, the Geordie had to go. Enter childhood Sunderland fan O’Neill, with the Black Cats on a run of five games without a win and one point clear of the relegation zone – a mire they will drop into should they lose to Blackburn on Sunday afternoon.

Rovers manager Steve Kean may be wondering just how it is that Bruce went before him, having again been greeted with a tidal wave of “Kean Out!” chants from home fans as his side marched to a thrilling 4-2 win over Swansea at Ewood Park on Saturday.

Yakubu, the four-goal hero in that game, said it was ‘a shame’ fans reacted that way. “I’ve never experienced anything like this before, but maybe we can change their minds after winning more games,” said the Nigerian.

Having secured a pay rise from Blackburn’s owners last month, Kean might be confident he has the backing of Venky’s. But should the managerial switch on Wearside prompt a drastic upturn in his opponents’ results, it may not be the fans changing their minds.

As for O’Neill, his immediate concern at Sunderland must be his strikeforce, who are

32 | December 9 2011 |

simply not doing their job. The pre-season departures of Darren Bent (to Aston Villa), loanee Danny Welbeck (back to Manchester United) and Asamoah Gyan (on loan to Al-Ain for family reasons) were offset by the arrivals of Nicklas Bendtner and South Korea striker Ji Dong-Won, who between them have managed just three goals so far (Yakubu, by contrast, has now scored nine in nine league appearances since August). If the presence of the no-nonsense O’Neill has sent shivers up the spine of anyone in the Sunderland dressing room, it should be Bendtner.

As Nigel Reo-Coker found out at Aston Villa, the Northern Irishman doesn’t take kindly to players whose egos outweigh their talent (the pair apparently ended up wrestling during a heated training-ground row). If anyone can convince the Dane he’s not yet ‘one of the best strikers in the world’, it’s probably O’Neill. The rest of the team will likely be lifted by having him in charge for the first time on Sunday, while Kean and his side will once again be forced to lift themselves in the face of jeers from those followers who are determined to see the Blackburn boss take second place in the league’s annual managerial sack race.

Can O’Neill’s Sunderland stop free-scoring Yakubu (below)?

Around the grounds

ARSENAL v EVERTON Emirates Stadium, Saturday 3pm BOLTON v ASTON VILLA Reebok Stadium, Saturday 3pm LIVERPOOL v QPR Anfield, Saturday 3pm MANCHESTER UNITED v WOLVES Old Trafford, Saturday 3pm NORWICH v NEWCASTLE Carrow Road, Saturday 3pm SWANSEA v FULHAM Liberty Stadium, Saturday 3pm STOKE v TOTTENHAM Britannia Stadium, Sunday 4pm Sky Sports 1

Premier League table 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 The Yak’s chance conversion rate this season – the most clinical in the league

Man City Man Utd Tottenham Chelsea Arsenal Newcastle Liverpool Stoke Aston Villa Everton Norwich QPR Fulham West Brom Swansea Wolves Sunderland Blackburn Bolton Wigan

P 14 14 13 14 14 14 14 14 14 13 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14

W 12 10 10 9 8 7 6 5 3 5 4 4 3 4 3 4 2 2 3 2

D 2 3 1 1 2 5 5 3 7 1 4 4 6 3 5 2 5 4 0 3

L 0 1 2 4 4 2 3 6 4 7 6 6 5 7 6 8 7 8 11 9

F 48 31 29 31 30 19 17 14 16 15 20 15 16 13 14 15 16 21 19 12

A Pts 13 38 13 33 16 31 17 28 23 26 15 26 13 23 23 18 18 16 17 16 26 16 25 16 16 15 21 15 20 14 24 14 17 11 32 10 34 9 28 9

Michael Regan/Getty Images. Adrian Dennis/AFP/Getty Images. Paul Ellis/AFP/Getty Images. Chris Brunskill/Getty Images

SUNDAY PREMIER LEAGUE | SUNDERLAND v BLACKBURN | STADIUM OF LIGHT | SKY SPORTS 1 1.30PM

A big weekend for...

1. Petr Cech Chelsea’s 3-0 win against Newcastle marked only the fourth league clean sheet of Andre Villas-Boas’ tenure – and with free-scoring Manchester City visiting the Bridge on Monday, his goalkeeper will need to be in fine form for that stat to improve.

AVB’s expansive approach has led to Chelsea’s formerly formidable home

defensive record being eroded – they have already conceded 11 in the league at Stamford Bridge since August, compared to the same number in the whole of last season. In 2004-05, the double winners kept a clean sheet in 74 per cent of their home games. This year, that stands at just 14 per cent. With City hitting the target on average more than any other team in the league, Cech will need to be on top form to keep Sergio Aguero, Mario Balotelli and co at bay.

Saturday Premier League | West Brom v Wigan | the haWthorns | 3Pm

2. Roberto Martinez It could be a lean festive period at the DW Stadium. Wigan welcome Chelsea and Liverpool before visits to Old Trafford and then Stoke to round off the year. Roberto Martinez’s team sit bottom on just nine points, with tomorrow’s match against West Brom their last realistic chance of improving on that position before 2012.

A last-minute winner at Sunderland two games ago condemned Steve Bruce, but the Latics were taken apart

by Arsenal last Saturday. Wigan also have the worst scoring record in the league, and are conceding two a game.

If Martinez doesn’t guide his team to three points here, they could be cut adrift at the bottom come Christmas – and we all know how that usually ends.

Ian Kington/AFP/Getty Images. Jamie McDonald/Getty Images

Monday Premier League | CheLsea v man City | stamford Bridge | sky sPorts 1 8Pm

Saturday football | la liga: Real MadRid v baRcelona | Santiago beRnabeu StadiuM | Sky SpoRtS 3 9pM

Spanish sizzler Barcelona have dominated La Liga in recent years, but trail Real Madrid by three points going into what promises to be another explosive clash this weekend. With Messi and Ronaldo battling for the Ballon d’Or and already both on 17 league strikes each, we look back at some El Clasico gole-fests (and a tight 1-0)

Barcelona 3-3 Real Madrid March 10 2007 the standout match of a thrillingly close season.

Real Madrid won the title thanks to their superior head-to-head record after the teams finished level on points, but this game was also notable for a stunning hat-trick from a young player called lionel Messi, who would prove to be quite instrumental in future.

Real Madrid 4-1 Barcelona May 7 2008 it’s the penultimate game of the season, the title is already safely locked up in the bernabeu’s sizeable trophy cabinet, and the visiting side have to give a guard of honour to los blancos.

Xavi called it the most humiliating experience of

34 | December 9 2011 |

his life, but worse followed – the new champions routed barcelona, with goals from Raul, arjen Robben, gonzalo Higuain and Ruud van nistelrooy. the next day, pep guardiola was announced as barcelona manager.

Barcelona 5-0 Real Madrid November 29 2010 in catalonia, they call it la Manita, or ‘little hand’ – with a goal for every finger in Jose Mourinho’s first el clasico in charge of Real. before this match, his team were top of la liga and unbeaten. after a dizzying 90 minutes they found themselves behind barcelona, who stayed above their rivals for the rest of the season to win a third consecutive league title.

Barcelona 0-1 Real Madrid April 20 2011 Jose did, eventually, get his revenge – and it had to happen this way. the fates conspired to bring the teams together four times in 17 days across three competitions. they were bad-tempered affairs, with three Madrid players dismissed across the four games. but it was cristiano Ronaldo’s goal in extra time that gave Mourinho his first and thus far only win over barcelona, and stopped them pulling off another treble.

Pedro Armestre/AFP/Getty Images

Real Madrid 4-2 Barcelona April 10 2005 Madrid’s glittering line-up included david beckham, Roberto carlos and, er, thomas gravesen. florentino perez’s galacticos romped into a 3-1 half-time lead with headers from Zinedine Zidane and original Ronaldo. Michael owen even got in on the act. barcelona had the last laugh that year, however – they won the return fixture 3-0, and sealed the league title for the first time since 1999.

Saturday > LEN EuropEaN Short CourSE SwimmiNg ChampioNShipS | poLaNd | BritiSh EuroSport 4.45pm

Swim Lowe The biggest sporting event held in Poland until, well, next summer is currently going on at the Szczecin Floating arena, where a squad of 29 of Britain’s top swimmers is (we hope) taking the pool by storm. Because, unlike the squad we will be sending to the continent next summer, this one includes athletes who have already tasted success in international competition, including the likes of hannah miley, reigning

BEST OF THE REST

FRIDAY

CriCKEt Bangladesh v pakistan: First test day 1 Chittagong Sky Sports 4 3.25am goLF dubai world Championship day 2 Jumeirah golf Estates, Sky Sports 1 8am SNooKEr uK Championship Semi Final York Barbican, BBC two 12.30pm rugBY uNioN heineken Cup: harlequins v toulouse twickenham Stoop, Sky Sports 1 8pm CriCKEt australia v New Zealand: Second test day 2 hobart, Sky Sports 1 11.25pm

SATURDAY hoCKEY Champions trophy Semi Final New Zealand, British Eurosport 2 6am

European 400m individual medley champion in both long-course and short-course formats, and Jemma Lowe, part of the 4x100m medley relay team that won gold at the 2008 European Championships. heats began yesterday, but you can catch the business end of the championships live on British Eurosport over the weekend – where you can keep an eye out for some British strokes of brilliance. Natch.

SUNDAY CriCKEt india v west indies: 5th odi Chennai, Sky Sports 4 8.55am rugBY uNioN heineken Cup: Bath v Leinster recreation ground, Sky Sports 2 12.45pm rugBY uNioN heineken Cup: Clermont auvergne v Leicester Stade marcel-michelin, Sky Sports 2 2.45pm NFL tennessee titans v New orleans Saints Lp Field, Sky Sports 4 5.30pm FootBaLL La Liga: Bilbao v racing Santander mames Stadium, Sky Sports 1 6.45pm FootBaLL La Liga: Espanyol v atletico madrid Estadi Cornella-El prat, Sky Sports 1 8.30pm NFL green Bay packers v oakland raiders Lambeau Field, Sky Sports 4 9.30pm

MONDAY FootBaLL SpL: hibernian v rangers Easter road, ESpN 11.45am

CriCKEt australia v New Zealand: Second test day 5, hobart, Sky Sports 2 11.25pm

FootBaLL Championship: Southampton v Blackpool, St mary’s Stadium Sky Sports 2 12.45pm

NFL Seattle Seahawks v St Louis rams EverBank Field, ESpN 1.30am

SNooKEr uK Championship Semi Final York Barbican, BBC one 1pm

FootBaLL SpL: St Johnstone v aberdeen mcdiarmid park, Sky Sports 1 7.45pm

TUESDAY

horSE raCiNg Spinal research the atlantic 4 gold Cup, Cheltenham, Channel 4/ruK 2.30pm

Peter Parks/AFP/Getty Images

rugBY uNioN heineken Cup: Scarlets v munster, Scarlets park, Sky Sports 1 3.40pm FootBaLL Championship: Barnsley v ipswich oakwell, Sky Sports 2 5.20pm rugBY uNioN heineken Cup: Saracens v ospreys, Vicarage road, Sky Sports 1 6pm FootBaLL Serie a: inter milan v Fiorentina San Siro, ESpN 7.45pm

WEDNESDAY EQuEStriaN olympia horse Show: dressage London olympia, British Eurosport 9pm

THURSDAY CriCKEt South africa v Sri Lanka: First test day 1, Centurion, Sky Sports 2 8am goLF omega dubai Ladies masters day 2 Emirates golf Club, Sky Sports 1 1pm rugBY uNioN amlin Cup: wasps v Bayonne adams park, Sky Sports 2 7.45pm

| 35

Advertising Feature

fc barcelona

THE LoNG GAmE

T

he mark of any great team is shown by its ability to evolve, to refuse to stand still and simply bask in glory. A great team is defined by a desire to draw on its experiences and turn greatness into immortality. This is clearly a fact not lost on FC Barcelona.

Since the club’s inception in 1899, FC Barcelona has built many sides worthy of awe. From the all-conquering Catalans of Ramallets, Samitier and Juan Zambudio Velasco (plus the Spaniard Cesar) in the 1940s, via the Hungarian-driven side of Kubala, Suarez and Evaristo at the end of the 1950s, to the team built around Diego Maradona in the 1980s, the club has repeatedly left its mark on the global game.

Never satisfied by simply winning a trophy, the club’s aim has always been to improve, to progress, to conquer again and again, aware that neither the world, nor the world of football, will ever stand still.

Of all the celebrated teams created at Camp Nou, one team can claim to have changed the game and influenced more than any other: The Dream Team.

When Johan Cruyff took control in 1988, FC Barcelona were already a great club – 10 La Liga titles and 20 Copa Del Rey wins illustrate that. During his eight years in charge, the Dutchman’s Dream Team of Stoichkov, Romario, Koeman and Guardiola added four more league titles, back to back, and added the holy grail of the European Cup, the club’s first, won at Wembley in 1992.

Cruyff sucked up the success, but he wanted more, hence him putting into place a long-term vision for the club that would take them forward year after year.

“That team changed the club’s way of thinking, that is to say, concentrate on yourself and not worry about the opponent,” he told Spanish newspaper Marca recently.

“Our mentality was to focus on being the best because that’s how you win. It’s a way of thinking: look at yourself first and not at the others.”

At the same time, Cruyff helped pioneer a new way of training youngsters, indoctrinating them with the club’s DNA at La Masia, a boarding-house-come-production line from which so many of the club’s greatest players have since arrived. Cruyff and FC Barcelona had a vision that looked forever forward.

36 | December 9 2011 |

barcelona and Cruyff line up before the 1992 European Cup final (above and left), won by ronald Koeman’s strike (right)

“A GrEAT TEAm IS dEfINEd bY A dESIrE To TurN GrEATNESS INTo ImmorTALITY” It might be stretching the truth to suggest the Dutchman gained inspiration from Japanese watchmakers SEIKO, the official watchmaker of FCB, but parallels between the two are clear.

Since their own humble beginnings 130 years ago, SEIKO has trodden a similar path to FCB, seeking to create not only greatness, but to innovate and improve on it at every turn.

FC Barcelona develops world-class individuals over time at La Masia, just as SEIKO does in-house with each and every watch component it creates. Both use experience built up over more than a century to create products greater even than the sum of their exceptional parts. FCB build teams, SEIKO create timepieces – and both have their eyes firmly on both the present and the future.

A LASTING LEGACY The effects of Johan Cruyff’s Dream Team can be felt today, 19 long years after their

Sponsored by

SEIKO SPORTURA quality over time

Key momentS in time

Since 1987, SeiKo has timed every iaaF World Championship and recorded usain Bolt’s recordbreaking 9.58s in the 100m final in 2009.

EIKO, the official watchmaker of FC Barcelona, understands the importance of quality over time, and that the pursuit of excellence can not be rushed.

Today, celebrating its 130th anniversary, SEIKO shares the same philosophy as the European and Spanish champions, one built on a belief that victory or success is not the end, just a single step along the road to greatness.

For FC Barcelona, the holy grail is forever the Champions League, with the club looking to secure their third title in four seasons in 2012.

For SEIKO, the obsession is the Sportura Collection, a range of timepieces which, over the past decade and more, has become synonymous with success in sport.

Each Sportura is created in-house, built using the finest components and drawing upon more than a century of experience and expertise.

The newest addition to the Sportura range is the Sportura FC Barcelona Chronograph, the official watch of the Spanish and European champions. Inspired by the highest performance, the FCB Chronograph is like every model in the Sportura range - a watch built for the demands of the modern world while being steeped in tradition.

Like so many SEIKO timepieces that have gone before, it leaves a lasting mark on the world of watchmaking and is, in so many ways, the perfect fit for the perfect football team.

S

crowning glory at Wembley Stadium. “The Dream Team radically changed the history of the club,” says Michael Laudrup, another star of that side, today. “That’s why it’s such a special team.”

Asked now to choose between which of the two sides – the Dream Team and his own all-conquering class of today – can claim pre-eminence, the uniquely qualified Pep Guardiola (above) makes a compelling case.

He may have guided the club to 12 trophies in three years, the team built around graduates of La Masia (Messi, Xavi, Iniesta et

al), but Guardiola credits the plans put in place by those who came before him. “This team can never compete with the Dream Team,” he said last May, his reason being startlingly simple. “They started this.”

What is clear to Guardiola, to everyone at FC Barcelona and to everyone at SEIKO is that success can never be taken for granted. To meet and exceed expectations, the whole club must move forward as one, never resting on its laurels and always striving for better.

There are always greater challenges ahead, always higher peaks to conquer.

seiko.co.uk

1973 SEIKO develop the world’s first six-digit LCD quartz watch, two years before launching the world’s first titanium diver’s watch, to 600m water-resistant.

1978-86 SEIKO chosen to be the official timekeeper of the World Cup finals. Their time is in safe hands.

2010 SEIKO releases the world’s first Electrophoretic Display watch with an active matrix system which gives a hi-res 80,000 pixel screen.

| 37

GIFTS

FROM SAMSUNG

0 5 £ NEW

OF VIES MOD UP TO

0 0 £2 BACK

AN

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WHEN YOU BUY A SELECTED SAMSUNG SMART TV YOU’LL ENJOY £50 WORTH OF STREAMED MOVIES FROM EITHER ACETRAX OR BLINKBOX AND UP TO £200 CASH BACK. *

Terms and Conditions apply. Available on purchases made between 1 November - 24 December 2011 on qualifying models only. Visit: www.samsung.com/uk/smarttvgifts for full terms and conditions.

CHAT

ARDS 2011 AW

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www.samsung.com/uk/smarttvgifts

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Christmas Gift Guide Apparel

Making the most of your Christmastime and money

Oh tidings of comfort and joy

Photography by Wilson Hennessy/wilsonhennessy.com

Pretend you’re shopping for others and treat yourself instead with our Gift Guide...

England football away special edition top £55 | umbro.com, England away goalkeeper top £55 | umbro.com, New York Cosmos ’77 top £40 | umbro.com, Nike 6.0 Proost Down jacket £190 | nikestore.com, Nike 6.0 Bellevue jacket £210 | nikestore.com, adiVIZ vest £45 | adidas.com/running, Savile Rogue scarves £50 | savile-rogue.com, England rugby home top £73 | nikestore.com/rugby, England rugby away top £72 | nikestore.com/rugby, Team GB Olympics football top £52 | adidas.com, Nike Vapor Flash jacket £200 | nikestore.com, Nike Pro Combat Hyperwarm Shield 1.2 Mock £36 | nikestore.com >

| December 9 2011 | 39

Nike Air Force 1 Duckboot £120 | nikestore.com, Nike Lava Dunk Boot £85 | nikestore.com, Puma v1.11 i FG boots £90 | prodirectsoccer.com, Umbro Speciali trainers £90 | umbro.com, Mizuno Wave Ignitus 2 SG boots £120 | prodirectsoccer.com, Nike T90 Laser IV boots £140 | nikestore.com/football, adidas F50 Adizero TRX FG boots with miCoach £200 | adidas.com, adidas Kanadia 4 trail runner £55 | adidas.com/running, Nike T90 Seitiro Hi-Vis ball £90 | nikestore.com/football >

40 | December 9 2011 |

Photography by Wilson Hennessy/wilsonhennessy.com

Christmas Gift Guide Footwear

EXCLUSI V E TO SCOT TS

O X A S E U R T E N O Y B TC EC K C AJ A C K E T B Y O N E T R U E S A X O N

VISIT OUR NEW ONLINE STORE

SCOT TSM ENSW E A R.COM

K ELL BROOK PROF E SSIONA L BOX E R

Calvin Klein golf stormproof umbrella £20 | johnlewis.com, Calvin Klein score card gift set £13 | johnlewis.com, VIVOBAREFOOT hybrid golf shoes £100 | vivobarefoot.com, Calvin Klein golf cotton towel £8 | johnlewis.com, Motocaddy S3 digital trolley and bag From £400 | motocaddy.com, Titleist ProV1 golf balls dozen pack £35 | sportsdirect.com, Nike VR Pro Limited Edition driver £300 | nikegolf.com, Callaway RAZR Fit driver £329 (available January) | callawaygolf.com, Cobra Long Tom driver £289 | cobragolf.co.uk, Ping Sydney putter £199 | ping.com >

42 | December 9 2011 |

Photography by Wilson Hennessy/wilsonhennessy.com

Christmas Gift Guide Golf

Christmas Gift Guide Fitness

44 | December 9 2011 |

Power Plate my7 £4,995 | johnlewis.com

Joystick multicolour print snowboard £435 | burton.com

Method bronze white back snowboard £1,300 | burton.com

Go Pro HD Surf Hero camera £230 | surfdome.com

Lonsdale punch bag 4ft £50 | lonsdaleuk.com

Lonsdale i-Core bag gloves £80 | lonsdale.com

Magellan eXplorist 610 £400 | magellangps.com/uk

Eastpak Stand holdall £36 | eastpak.com

Jabra Sport Bluetooth headset £99 | jabra.com

Philips O’Neill headphones £59 | amazon.co.uk

HoMedics Slim Around Sports Massager £20 | homedics.co.uk

TRAMP-It Jump shoes From £100 | firebox.com

Kodak Playsport Video Camera £130 | shop.kodak.co.uk

HydraCoach Intelligent Water Bottle £25 | hydracoach.co.uk

Nike+ Sportwatch GPS

Photography by Wilson Hennessy/wilsonhennessy.com

£179 | nike.com >

| 45

Christmas Gift Guide Transport

46 | December 9 2011 |

Mini Unisex Jet helmet £144 | sytnerhighwycombeminishop.co.uk

Piaggio MP3 LT 300cc £5,699 | uk.piaggio.com

Shirt Shuttle £30 | conranshop.co.uk

Photography by Wilson Hennessy/wilsonhennessy.com

Mio Spirit 687 £150 | eu.mio.com

Skatecycle £150 | firebox.com

Carrera Transport Folding bike £330 | halfords.com

Bell Faction Bike helmet £21 | halfords.com

Jabra Drive in-car speakerphone £50 | amazon.co.uk >

| 47

Limited Edition 1TB Sky+HD Box £49 for existing customers | sky.com/designerboxes, Q Acoustics Q7000 5.1 Cinema speaker system £799 | armourhome.co.uk, Panasonic BDT210 Blu-Ray player £191 | shop.panasonic.co.uk, Panasonic TX-P42VT30 42” 3D Plasma TV £1,797 | shop.panasonic.co.uk, Philips SoundRing DS3880W dock £300 | amazon.co.uk, Logitech Harmony 200 remote control £20 | logitech.com, Echostar Slingbox HDS-600RS Freesat box £249 | myechostar.com, Onkyo TX-NR609 AV receiver £449 | exceptional-av.co.uk. Games of the year: from game.co.uk Fifa 12 – 360/PS3 | £38, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 12: The Masters – 360/PS3 | £15, Madden NFL 12 – 360/PS3 | £35, DIRT 3 – 360/PS3 | £18, Football Manager 2012 – PC/Mac | £18, F1 2011 – 3DS | £35, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 – 360/PS3 | £38, Batman: Arkham City – 360/PS3 | £33, Gears Of War 3 - 360 | £36, Battlefield 3 – 360/PS3 | £38, Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception – PS3 | £33 >

48 | December 9 2011 |

Photography by Wilson Hennessy/wilsonhennessy.com

Christmas Gift Guide Home entertainment

i i ciM s usic.

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NEW SoundLink Wireless Mobile speaker

us’ m ereetihrt uow ooo vaN fyo?r euynooyIhspyeoliubr ofam vrouo riytenm o cui sic on your mobile phone? Now there’s a way to share it out loud whenever and tnraawmu sor yruroeyrvhetriw ew hsekrreovewrtsyaoohBut ewh m aeTn t. st.yuTsn uhir eLukdBanooeuo spoesSsS asoeul n eardi Lwin sasksi is a wireless speaker system that works with your ,semnaorhtphone, wci s u htm orlr uolotyelybtojab nleetw tootrnotn ttah o rceo eterueB ovulYu v. esvteocioevteh e ddevicessk. n Yaoh ut cllaan–nd on wueonsjodyeliyaotuerdm ,r u aeslic w htith clear, detailed sound – all thanks soonB hnc en m torefunutqeiugnu yltonounniaqcuu eotyecsheingooo ologies you can only get from Bose. Tr y the SoundLink nafl ehssraueloynruoao f trayekaawespweankeel rofhorwyaoruervsoeclfsiadnd discover a whole new way to unleash e no hpr uoy no ci s u methe music on your phone. ®

®

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bose.co.uk/SoundLink 0800 081 3393 ®

or visit your local authorised Bose dealer m.bose.eu/slm_uk

©2011 Bose Corporation. Th e Bluetooth word mark and logos are registered trademarks owned by Bluetooth SIG, Inc., and any such use by Bose Corporation is under license. ®

Pure AVANTI Flow digital music system £206 | amazon.co.uk, Sonos Play 3 Wireless Speaker £259 | currys.co.uk, Vintage Alarm Dock £23 | firebox.com, Wacom Bamboo Pen & Touch £75 | wacom.eu, Dell XPS 14z laptop From £799 | dell.co.uk, DeLonghi Icona Traditional Pump Coffee Machine £139 | qvcuk.com, Dyson DC34 Animal handheld vacuum cleaner £170 | dyson.co.uk, Qosmio F750 3D laptop £1,300 | currys.co.uk, Mimi Classic Oilskin Jackson rucksack £238 | mimiberry.co.uk >

50 | December 9 2011 |

Photography by Wilson Hennessy/wilsonhennessy.com

Christmas Gift Guide Gadgets

Kindle £89 | amazon.co.uk, iPhone 4S Free on 24-month price plans from £46 | vodafone.co.uk, iPad 2 From £229 on 24-month price plans | vodafone.co.uk, Mimi Berry iPad case £120 | mimiberry.co.uk, Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 Free on pay-monthly plans from £32 | vodafone.co.uk, Atomic Floyd HiDefDrum Headphones £150 | store.apple.com, Panasonic Lumix DMC-G3 digital camera £629 | panasonic.co.uk, Bose QuietComfort 3 Noise Cancelling Headphones £299 | qvcuk.com, Grado SR325is headphones £350 | armourhome.co.uk, iPad 2 case by Brunswick England £160 | proporta.com, Samsung MultiView MV800 camera £200 | johnlewis.com, Nintendo 3DS £120 | amazon.co.uk

52 | December 9 2011 |

Photography by Wilson Hennessy/wilsonhennessy.com

Christmas Gift Guide More gadgets

nI t ne mni latr etl n,E”rnle lP to Pi u tPa ptl P m P S“yo“P aC “l2 “P yd“”ne,oh “P S silflab oyusSP ktr.adatCioL mnd L ed”dad ,ac“ridtrnedned m nrnA e”ea ttasen inegerdem r“rnriera”taraertenrE ergeist tueprem dotrCaydneomSa1rk1s0o 2f© So™ nnyoiC tp oemcpeuDtes’reEknacrteD rt:ac3 cind cm etcer nathnIcnnc.UUncharted 3: Drake’s Deception™ ©2011 Sony Computer Entertainment America LLC. Published o Cy no Sf o kr a me dart a si ” noi t pece Ds’ ekar D: 3 detr ahcn U“ . cnI , go Dyt hgua Ny b de pol eve D. e por u Et ne mni atr et noEr eot upoSm oo CoSy nSo S

by Sony Computer Entertainment Europe. Developed by Naughty Dog, Inc. “Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception”disevar etrsaedr esm t hagirrklloA ft.S ree otpn enoyrrEu C rE e ottm unp et um te ni ratErnetertainment Europe. All rights reserved.

Extra time Christmas grooming for him

Giftsetting the agenda

DKNY Men Fragrance Gift Set (Energizing Eau de Toilette 50ml, Men Shower Gel) £34 | boots.com, Versace Pour Homme Christmas Coffret (Eau de Toilette 100ml, Bath & Shower Gel, Travel Bag) £54 | selfridges.com, Aspinal of London Men’s Leather Hanging Washbag in Smooth Cognac £135 | aspinaloflondon.com, Armani Code Fragrances (Pour Homme 50ml, Sport 50ml, Pour Femme 50ml) From £45 | houseoffraser.co.uk, Gillette Fusion ProGlide Grooming Set (ProGlide Manual Razor, ProGlide Cooling Shaving Gel, Series Instant Hydration Mini Moisturiser) £12 | boots.com, CH Carolina Herrera Men’s Toiletry Bag in Navy £160 | 020 3441 0965, L’Oreal Men Expert Hydra Energetic Anti-Fatigue Wake-Up Kit (Foaming Cleansing Gel, Anti-Fatigue Moisturiser, Anti-Irritation Shave Foam) £14.99 | 0800 030 4032 > 54 | December 9 2011 |

Full Stop Photography

Two pages of Christmas ideas, with the boys on this page and the girls overleaf

Better than

Half e Price

£106.97 £49.97

£42.47

evah S el a M3043 --- 33 3-340 -340 M Male ale S Shaver harver 9638- 702: on e nil n O Online nline no: no: 207-8369 207-8369 • Advanced 3-stage cutting system • SensoFoil captures hairs growing in different directions • Shaves long hairs and stubble progressively closer • For use in and out of shower

Subject to availability. Selected UK stores. Delivery charges may apply online. Clubcard Points: Minimum spend to qualify for Clubcard points is £1. See in store or www.tesco.com/clubcard for full details and terms.

Stella McCartney The Print Collection Limited Edition 30ml £35 each | boots.com, Nivea Feel Indulged Gift Set (Cashmere Moments Shower Cream Oil, Diamond Touch Shower Cream Oil, Irresistibly Smooth Body Lotion, Vanilla-Scented Candle, Body Puff) £8 | tesco.com, Decleor Night Beauty Gift Set (Mini Madagascar Candle, Relaxing Shower and Bath Gel, Systeme Corps Moisturising Body Milk, Night Beauty Regenerating Cream, Relaxing Pillow Mist) £40 | decleor.co.uk, Jean Paul Gaultier Classique Gift Set (Eau de Parfum 50ml, Body Lotion, Shower Gel) £58 | debenhams.com , Ole Henriksen 3 Little Wonders (Truth Serum Collagen Booster, Sheer Transformation Oil-Free Creme, Invigorating Night Gel) £79 | harveynichols.com, Elemis Glowing Beauty (Melting Cleansing Gel, Maximum Moisture Day Cream, Tranquil Touch Creamy Body Wash, Tranquil Touch Body Polish, Tranquil Touch Body Cream, Pink Patent Beauty Case) £45 | timetospa.co.uk

56 | December 9 2011 |

Full Stop Photography

Extra time Christmas grooming for her

Lickerishltd/Tyler Parker

Where’s goofy?

E

rica Hosseini here is a professional surfer and model from Newport Beach, California. She surfs! She models! She is also a goofy foot – which does not mean she has the paws of a tall, anthropomorphic cartoon dog, but that she leads with her right foot on the surfboard (as opposed to being a ‘regular foot’, were she to lead with her left). Far be it from us to dwell on her toes – though should you be that way inclined and happen to find an idle moment in your morning, you’ll be pleased to know Erica’s

58 | December 9 2011 |

trotters do feature on an (entirely independent) ‘collaborative celebrity feet website’.

The more conventional-minded can catch up with the 24-year-old on her blog, Where’s Erica?, which comes complete with a fetching image of the lady herself in full Where’s Wally/Waldo garb – and on which she invites visitors to “follow me around the world and see all the shenanigans I get into”. Shenanigans, you say?

We logged on excitedly to find Erica’s time is spent largely doing two things: she models! She surfs!

Extra time Erica Hosseini

| 59

Extra time Entertainment

Chamber made

BlU-RAY

Some monster home movie releases, Wu-Tang’s wild man gets the deluxe treatment, plus all the usual toss MUSIC

Return to the 36 Chambers: Deluxe Box Set ODB

Super 8

It’s 16 years since the ODB released his brilliant debut album – and it still sounds as fresh now as it did then.

That’s to say, about as fresh as a drunk yodeller trying to rap through a mouthful of piss and wasps. His unique flow meets an ideal match in the murky beats of Wu-Tang bandmate the RZA, so we’re very excited that a two-disc special edition of the album is unleashed on Monday, featuring a new CD of remixes and rarities (plus loads more extras). Shimmy Shimmy Ya indeed, you fine ol’ bastard.

It’s 1979 in small-town America and a group of kids making their own film witness a spectacular train crash. The military soon appear to clear up the wreckage, but don’t explain what was on the train – or why the townspeople have started to mysteriously disappear.

The bad first: Super 8 borrows too much from producer Steven Spielberg’s early work and the ending is a slight letdown. The good news is that you’ll be so engrossed by then, you won’t want the film to end at all. JJ Abrams (Lost, the Star Trek reboot) is a director at the top of his game right now; able to create a funny, creepy, totally believable world – and to pull you headfirst into it. He’s helped by an outstanding cast of young talent, the hunt for which is just one of many extras on this Monday Blu-ray and DVD release. We loved it.

exhIBItIon

MUSIC

Modern Toss 2011 Seasonal Blow Out

Rise of the Planet of the Apes This ape reboot succeeds on two crucial levels: it makes a potentially laughable premise all too realistic – then lets loose with the epic, gorillas-taking-out-helicopters action you wanted to see all along.

Andy ‘Gollum’ Serkis is great as prime primate Caesar – and if you get the Blu-ray or DVD come Monday, you get an insight into how the motion-capture maestro goes about his job.

60 | December 9 2011 |

Exhibition containing the crassest cream of the Modern Toss output opens today at the Imitate Modern Gallery, London. Pride of place is taken by the interactive, talking Periodic Table of Swearing, plus you can discover who Britain’s biggest c-bomb is (hint: his first name is Piers).

Deliciously offensive.

dvd The Inbetweeners Okay, this post-school adventure isn’t as amusing as the Rudge Park Comprehensive days, but so what? You probably aren’t as funny now as you were when you were at school either, bumder. At its best, this comedy nails the awful lads’ holiday stereotypes perfectly.

Laughing all the Way to the Cleaners The Lemonheads Evan Dando’s band never did quite fulfil the promise shown in 1992’s It’s a Shame About Ray, but they have made a good career crafting sweet, soulful pop, as this best-of collection showcases. Of the 48 tracks, songs such as My Drug Buddy show how Dando can handle the darkest subjects with the gentlest of musical touches.

Scott Gries/Getty Images. Jo Hale/Getty Images

BlU-RAY