HOW TO ATTRACT YOUR EQUAL AND FORM A POWER COUPLE

Have you been in a dating rut? There’s no better place than the Hamptons to inspire you to get back into the game. Our resident dating expert is here to remind you of your self-worth and why you should never settle for anything less than you deserve.

BY LINDSEY METSELAAR

Hi, Spotlight fam!

I can’t believe summer is almost here! Well, more like thank God summer is almost here. I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t bear that seasonal depression for another minute. I’m so excited that the theme of this issue of Spotlight is power couples, because there’s nothing I love more than a couple in which both people are killing it. Some of my favorite power couples are Michelle and Barack Obama, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, and Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher. But what makes a power couple?

In my opinion, it’s two individuals who would soar with or without the other person. Their partner doesn’t complete them, but rather adds to their greatness.

2. Follow Your Passion

HERE

ARE FIVE WAYS YOU CAN ATTRACT YOUR POWER COUPLE MATCH:

1. Make a List of What You

Want in a Partner, and Then Become That List

There’s nothing worse than someone who brings nothing to the table and expects someone to bring everything. If you want someone kind, be kind. If you want someone funny, be funny. The best thing you can do if you really want to attract something is project that same energy.

What do all or most power couples have in common? They have something they’re passionate about and love to do outside of their partner. In order to shine in your partnership, you must be able to shine on your own. Build your own life that you truly love before searching for someone to join you.

3. Always Surround Yourself With Equals

When you hang out with people who drain your battery, they do exactly that. When you surround yourself with people who are doing awesome things, who are smarter than you, who inspire you, you get lifted. Your battery is full again. Make sure you focus on the people who energize you, not the ones who deplete you.

4.

Don’t Settle

We all, especially women, have been pressured at one point or another to get married or “settle down.” Society leads us to believe that if we haven’t, we ought to. It can be easy to give in to the intrusive thoughts that you should accept whoever is ready to marry you, as opposed to making sure this person is worthy. Never settle.

5. Listen to Advice Only From People in a Power Couple

There’s tons of advice out there, but the best I’ve received is to take advice only from someone who has what you want. Too often we’re open to hearing other people’s opinions, which are frankly irrelevant. If you want to know how to achieve something, ask someone who has already achieved it.

As always, it’s an honor to write about dating for Spotlight, and especially about couples. For more tips, you can follow @wemetatacme on Instagram or listen to “We Met at Acme” wherever you get podcasts. I hope to catch you in your power couple around town this summer! T

TARS ON THEIR OWN AND EXTRAORDINARY TOGETHER, HANNAH BRONFMAN—ACTIVIST, ANGEL INVESTOR, AUTHOR, AND WELLNESS EXPERT—AND

BRENDAN FALLIS—CREATOR, INVESTOR, DJ, AND FALLIS STUDIOS FOUNDER—ARE THE PERFECT PAIR. THE DUO, WHO’S BEEN SUMMERING OUT EAST FOR YEARS, IS WELCOMING A SECOND CHILD INTO THEIR WORLD. HERE, THEY SHARE WITH SPOTLIGHT THEIR JOURNEY TO BUILDING THEIR FAMILY AND WHAT KEEPS THEM MOTIVATED IN THEIR CAREERS.

Hannah, we’re so excited to photograph you pregnant with baby #2! How thrilled are you bringing a second little one into the world?

Hannah Bronfman: Beyond excited! It’s a bit surreal to be honest. I think I’m really looking forward to watching Preston become a big brother. I’m also so excited to bring a baby into the summer season! Preston was born in November 2020, so it will be a very different experience this time around! How’s Preston feeling about having a little sister?

Brendan Fallis: He’s been so loving about it so far. Saying her name all the time while pointing at Hannah’s belly. But then, he also thinks there’s a Paw Patrol baby in there, so….

Bronfman: It’s hard to say, he’s only 2! He seems to be engaged when we talk about the baby and generally he loves his friends’ little siblings, so I think he’s going to be a trooper. Hannah, you’ve been open with your followers about your pregnancy journey. What’s it been like to see how much your followers look up to you as a source of inspiration during this process? Bronfman: Sharing and being vulnerable about my experience is definitely something I didn’t anticipate, but I share so much with my community, and this felt like a chapter that needed a real discussion and to be highlighted. I know so many women are dealing with fertility issues and, if my story can help just one person, I think it’s worth sharing. It’s also time to break the stigma, expand the conversation, offer more affordable options, and have national paid leave. Brendan, what have you learned about yourself since becoming a dad?

Fallis: First of all, all the cliché sentences you hear from everyone before you have your first baby are true! I’ve also realized that having a child is the first truly selfish act you perform. For the first time ever, you realize that everything you’ve learned along the way you must pass along to your child so they can learn, grow, and succeed in life. It’s a beautiful thing. You and Hannah first met in 2011. Tell us how it happened! Fallis: We met in a nightclub in Miami during Art Basel. We were introduced at some point during the night and became so involved in our conversation that time flew by and it was suddenly 4 a.m. and we were asked to please leave. The club was completely empty and it was just the two of us. We left together and, as I was putting Hannah in a cab, we both realized we had lost our phones at some point during the evening. Finding each other over the next few nights seemed to be kismet without our phones…and the rest is history. One word: Wow!

Bronfman: It’s exactly as Brendan said. Because it was Art Basel when we ran into each other, the next night we ended up talking for hours again and watching the sunrise together. I actually extended my trip so I could hang out with Brendan longer. When we both got back to New York, I decided not to get a new cell phone for the thrill of Brendan having to go out of his way to make plans with me. It was a pretty unique circumstance.

Brendan, was there a specific moment when you realized Hannah was the one?

Fallis: The morning after we met, again without cell phones, I called my mom from the hotel phone and told her I had met someone different, someone who stopped me in my tracks. When you know, you know! You’re such an ambitious couple. How do you motivate each other?

Bronfman: Brendan is a motivator by nature. After being on the Canadian Ski Team, he coached for five years and the boys he coached still call him their life coach. I happen to also be a motivator by nature, and together Brendan and I make a strong team. Communication is the key for us on how we make it all work. Neither of us is a mind reader, so it’s important to let each other know how we can better support each other; additionally, we both work a lot and have committed to being as present as possible but also not guilting each other or ourselves if we miss bedtime. What is the No. 1 thing that you each do that makes the other laugh or smile?

Fallis: Food makes us smile. We love to cook and have a night in together. And luckily Hannah appreciates my now appropriate “dad humor.”

Many single millennials feel discouraged about finding love today. What are your top dating tips for singles?

Fallis: In a world of dating apps, it’s tough to say exactly, but that being said, old rules still apply. So my first rule would be a piece of advice that Hannah’s dad gave us during his toast at our wedding: A relationship is built on trust, and no relationship succeeds without it. Remember, it takes a lifetime to earn trust and only seconds to lose it. Bronfman: I feel like we’re all rushing to find our partner because we feel this looming timeline, but screw a timeline! Freeze your eggs, ladies, and kiss a lot of frogs, and don’t settle till you find the person who is equal parts your hype person, lover, and best friend. Trust your gut, if you meet the person in the grocery store or on an app, just go with it and trust the universe.

Every bad relationship teaches you about yourself and leads you on your path.

Hannah, let’s talk about HBFIT. Your brand has evolved over the years, and you recently announced some news about it.

Bronfman: HBFIT started out as a hashtag I was using on social media to showcase my health-forward lifestyle. It has taken many forms over the years, including a blog and most recently a content and commerce site. However, after eight years, I’m closing the door on HBFIT as it’s a business model that’s not sustainable and I personally feel that I’ve outgrown it. I’m excited for a fresh chapter and looking forward to many new projects. There was a point in both your careers where it seemed like DJing was your primary focus. What inspired you both to focus on other ventures?

Fallis: Just evolution in general. We’ve always loved to continue to grow and explore new avenues of work and life. It’s important for our creative juices to push forward.

Bronfman: Honestly, it’s a draining lifestyle. I loved it and it brought me all over the world, but other parts of my career are equally if not more fulfilling— and life is too short to not pursue what makes you happy. You’re homeowners Out East. Why is the Hamptons important to you both?

Fallis: It’s not only an escape from the busyness of the city, a reset of sorts, but it’s a place where we can unplug and spend time together as a family.

Bronfman: We feel a sense of calm here, and Brendan and I love being here in the off-season. But growing up, I had some of my best summers at camp, playing on the beach, and hanging with friends. I feel fortunate to be able to give our kids a place that is outside the city, rooted in nature, and a chance to learn different skills than “city skills.”

What are some of your favorite workout spots?

Bronfman: I’m excited to try the new Tracy Anderson in Sag Harbor, and I used to go to SoulCycle in East Hampton. We renovated our house and made a small gym there, and I use a machine called Tonal that I’m obsessed with. This summer, my exercise will consist of pool time and walks to the bay with the stroller.

Many millennials want to purchase their first Hamptons home. Brendan, how can they make that happen?

Fallis: Many levels to that question, always starting with budget, which allows you to pin down what areas are in your range. But as it’s a secondary home for most, consider renting out your property for a summer month. The rental prices are huge and easily cover your carry cost for the year. We’ve done that since day one with our house Out East, and it also allows you to have funds to upgrade the property a bit each year. What inspired you to launch Fallis Studios?

Fallis: I’ve always loved home and fashion, so creating a lifestyle line of my nonnegotiable items has been super enjoyable and inspiring. I also realized that I’ve built a community and wanted to find a way I could create a product line that would be desirable for that community. Besides Hamptons time, what else is on tap this summer?

Bronfman: We’ll go to Muskoka in Canada for 10 days in August to be with Brendan’s family. We’re also heading to Greece with my family. This is our seventh year, and we go somewhere different every year. What’s something we’d be surprised to learn about each of you?

Bronfman: Brendan, who now runs a talent management company, started his managing career in the club managing the Benson & Hedges cigarette girls.

Fallis: If you shaved Hannah’s head, you’d discover that half of it is tattooed. College is a great time! [Laughs] T