A penguin is for life, not just for Christmas* A terribly informative guide to keeping a pet penguin.
Becoming a penguin person Do you enjoy the unusual? Does the unique and different excite you? Perhaps you are simply exhausted with that desperate search for a second pony? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then a pet penguin might be for you. At one time, the idea of owning a penguin was considered most unusual, but 2014 has seen a huge rise in the demand for these loveable and distinctive pets. Keeping a penguin is quite different from keeping other more conventional animals, so the greatest gift you can give a penguin is to waddle a mile in its webbed feet. This guide will help you decide if a penguin is right for you, which type will suit your family and what you’ll need to consider in order to keep your bird happy and healthy.
Which penguin is right for you? Know your Emperor from your King.
Star t
The Queen’s Christmas message is…
Essential Christmas viewing
What do your children call you?
Where did you sp
Mummy and Daddy
Mum and Dad
They’re children
They’re grown up
What’s the smallest room in your house?
The loo
The au pair’s room
Barbados
4 weeks
Ro
2 weeks
You own the
What’s your view becoming so
I only ever go to Latitude
King
Emperor
Rockhopper
Lives in dense colonies, which can contain tens of thousands of pairs. Often looks up to the Emperor penguin.
Bigger than all living penguins. Distinguished from the King by its more robust stature. Often looks down on other penguins.
Diet consists of crustaceans, in particular euphausiids, although will happily eat at Nathan Outlaw’s.
Not something that interests me You may have received this guide by mistake
pend last summer? Where did you go to school?
ock
Abersoch The most godawful comp in the country
Private school
You really went to private school
You actually did
Cheshire-on-Sea then
property
You rented a property
w on Glastonbury middle class?
e anyway
Do you have a close friend named after an animal, eg Stoat, Moose or Badger?
Thank goodness!
Yes
What about Geoffrey?
No Be more dog
Yes
No
Gentoo
AdĂŠlie
Macaroni
Dietary requirements vary between seasons and locations, but generally Waitrose will cover most needs.
Behaviour is either like that of children or old men, ie exaggerated self-importance. Beware of this at golf or members’ clubs.
Lives in large, tightly packed colonies. Moult entirely once a year, so beware of blocking the Dyson.
Most popular penguin names Interchangeable with cat, dog, and children’s names.
Charlie M
PoppyMaxM Toby
Mo Bella
Daisy
Tilly
Archie
Millie
Lilly
H
George
Oli
Jasper
Al
Molly JackRosie
Mable
Noah
onty
Holly
Oscar
lfie
Ruby
The best climate for a penguin Holiday hotspots to squeezed staycations.
40°c
30°c
20°c 16°c
Babington House Frome, Somerset
10°c
10°c
Dunham Massey (NT) Cheshire
Victoria Park London
6°c
Budapest Hungary
2°c
0°c –4°c –8°c
-10°c
Méribel* France
Whistler Canada
-20°c
-30°c
-40°c J
F
M
A
M
J
* † ‡
February half-term August October half-term
20°c +
19°c
St Mawes† Cornwall
–3°c
–2°c
Val d’Isère France
–40°c
J
A
S
O
N
D
Penguins’ natural water temperature
Royal Garden Villas‡ The Canaries
Penguins capable of coping with temperatures this low
26°c
Penguins can become agitated above this level
30°c
Sandy Lane Barbados
Fresh
Food fit for a penguin From fresh fish to something fishy.
Taiko sushi canapĂŠ platter
Line-caught salmon
Wild Alaskan sockeye tuna
Dressed Canadian lobster
Daylesford organic smoked salmon
Whole West Country squid
Roe on king scallops
Fishy
Breaded Atlantic lemon sole goujons
Fine
Mackerel
Krill
Kedgeree and fizz
Cockles in vinegar
Fish fingers
Cooked whelks
Sardines
Crabsticks
Fish paste
Prawn cocktail flavour crisps
A bit fishy
The ecological impact of a penguin How does its webbed carbon footprint compare?
184kg Boeing 747 2hr flight London–Courchevel
2,908kg Range Rover Vogue
0.8 tonnes Labradoodle
<1kg Penguin
(Per annum unless otherwise stated)
1,000kg Horse
+823kg 823kg
Second pony
Pony
1kg Quinoa sourdough loaf
2.2 tonnes Domestic cat
Films every penguin should see Because thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only so much Pingu anyone can take.
Lov Actu (200 Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954) Alive (1993)
Far (199
Titanic (1997) March of the Penguins (2005)
Das Boot (1981)
Archipelago (2010) Poseidon Adventure (1972)
Mutiny on the Bounty (1962)
Sea related An Inconvenient Truth* (2006)
Co
Under Siege (1992)
SO Iceb (193
Life (19
Battle Potem (192
ve ually 03) On Her Majestyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Secret Service (1969)
old
rgo 996)
OS berg 933)
eboat 944)
eship mkin 925)
Touching the Void (2003)
The Gold Rush (1925) Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a Wonderful Life (1946) Citizen Kane (1941)
Psycho (1960)
Black & white The Third Man (1949)
Casablanca (1942)
The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
Contains mild peril and scenes that some penguins may find disturbing.
*
Essential viewing
Rotten Tomato
Cult classic
Animal Farm by George Orwell
Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys
Coming Up for Air by George Orwell
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
The Spy Who Came in from the Cold by John le Carré
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Moby-Dick by Herman Melville
A Kestrel for a Knave by Barry Hines
Books every penguin should read Publisher: Penguin.
ber rs by Ro fe r u s y d The Bo
e t Drew
Love in a Cold Climate and Other Novels by Nancy Mitford
Winter’s Tales by Karen Blixen
To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf
The Bird’s Nest by Shirley Jackson
The Flood by Jean-Marie G. Le Clézio
Snow Country by Yasunari Kawabata
The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams
The Waves by Virginia Woolf
Key penguin colour trends From the Antarctic to the King’s Road.
King
Emperor
Rockhopper
Emperor
Pitch Black
King
Dawn Mist
Babouche
Top Hat
Rockhopper
Silver Dust
Dayroom Yellow
Charcoal
Tallow
Charlotte’s Locks
Macaroni
Gentoo
Adélie
Gentoo
Chocolate
Adélie
Shirting
Nancy’s Blushes
Lamp Black
Macaroni
Welcome Pale
Railings
Soot Print
Narcissus
Eastern Glow
Sexual habits of AdĂŠlie Penguins Antics that an Antarctic scientist dared not reveal 100 years ago.*
sexual coercion
frequency of AdĂŠlie penguin
little knots of hoo
terrorisin
degenerate in idleness
constant acts of depravit
autoerotic behaviour
sexual
necrophilia
oligans
ng homosexual behaviour sexual and physical abuse of chicks
non-procreative sex
ty
aberrant behaviour of young unpaired males
*
And nor do we.
* Help a penguin today Whether your penguin is sprawled hearth-side on its John Lewis Duck Egg Perth Rug, or still in its natural habitat, one thing’s for certain: it’s warming up. Rising global temperatures mean the sea ice is melting, which impacts krill — many penguins’ main food source. Overfishing and pollution have also combined to edge large numbers of penguins nearer to extinction. Click here to learn how a donation can make a difference
Other books in this series A Bear is for Life, not just for Christmas Out of print
A Hare is for Life, not just for Christmas Out of print
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