all the things i never said

Page 1

al lt he t hi ngs inever sai d apoet r ybookby SARAHD. L .


/ /aboutt heaut hor S ar ahD. L .i sanas pi r i ngwr i t er / poet f r om as mal l t owni nt hePhi l i ppi nes . S hel i kest aki ngherdogt omor ni ng wal ks ,maki ngpancakesf orl unch, andwi s hi ngupons hoot i ngs t ar sat ni ght s .Adaught er ,as i s t er ,af r i end, adr eamer ,ar eader ,al over .

/ /aut hor ’ snot e T hi sbooki syoung,ands oar eyou. Wor dsar ef or ever ,ands oar eyou. T het r uej oysi nl i f ear ef oundi nt he l i t t l et hi ngs .Neverover l ookt hem. Youmi ghtbes ur pr i s edathow bi g andr evol ut i onar yt heycanbe. Mor dentdansl avi e!


F o r myMa ma , Yo ua r e t h e s t r o n g e s t . I l o v e yo u , l e t u s k e e p o nf i g h t i n g .

“ L ovei spat i ent ,i fi ti s n’ t , i ti snotl ove. T hewor l di sbeaut i f ul ,i fi ti s n’ t , i ti snott hewor l d. ”


iwi shicoul dt el lyou al lt het hi ngsiwant ed t osayst ar i ngt hr ough yourbr owneyeswi t h r i ngsofgol d,t hewor ds ikeptt uckedawayi n t hesaf estcor ner sof myhear t ,butidonot knowwhet heryouar e wi l l i ngt ol endmet he eyest hatihavebeen dr eami ngabouti ft hat meansasi ngl esecond ofl ooki ngawayf r om hereyes. -t heeyest hatspeak


idontwantt he wor dst oescape myl i psf oriam af r ai dt heymi ght becomer eal . -l i psl ocked,wor dshi dden


herabi l i t yt ol ove wi t houtmeasur e, r el ent l essl y ,was bot hherexcept i onal gi f tandherdownr i ght cur se. -t hel ovi ng


ibr okemyr ul es andst andar ds f oryou, andi nr et ur n, youbr okeme. -t hebr eaki ng


iwi shiam manyt hi ngs, except mysel f . -t heunbecomi ng


whenyoul ef t , youpackedup yourbagst ucki ng mypoet r yi n i t spocket s& l ockedi taway . -nowi ’ ml ef tt obl eednotwor ds


yout ur nedeachofyourscar i nt oaf l ower bedandr ai ned i tdownwi t hownedt ear s, sowheni tgr ewvi nesand st ems,i tr eachedouti nt o t hedeepestpar tofmysoul andl etf al lapol l ent ol eave yourmar konme. -icar r yyourr osesever yday ,t hor nsandal l


nobodyownsyou, notyourf at her , notyourmot her , cer t ai nl ynotour f uckedup soci et y . -youar eyour ’ sal one


somedayi ’ l lchoke onal lt hewor ds ishoul d’ vesai d butchosenott o. -wor dsar ef at ali funsai d


Il ostmyhome whenyoudeci ded t owal kaway wi t hmyhear tand soult uckedi nsi de yourbl acksui t case. -youl ef tanot esayi ng“ sor r ybutyouj ust ar en’ tenough”


myf at hert ol dme t ost ayawayf r om boys whosmoke,dr i nk andi nbedal lday , buthef or gott owar nme aboutaboywhowear s deni mj acketover whi t eshi r thol di ng hi spenandpaper . -t hef i r stt i meisawyou


iwantt obr eat he youi nl i keyour ci gar et t e, iwantt of eelyou r unni ngi nmy bl oodst r eam, cl oudi ngmy j udgment , “ st op,st op, youcoul ddi e, ” t heywar ned, butyouar e t het hi ngt hat icannotqui t j ustyet . -ij ustneedanot herhi t


il etyoui nand youf oundgal axi es i nsi demebutyou deci dedt hemyst er y j ustwasn’ tf oryou. -andsoyoust r i ppedmeof fmyst ar s


youwer eapen, iwasyourj our nal , onmypaper t hi nski n youwr ot est or i es, scr i bbl edsomedays, t ur nedmei nt oar t , &bl edyourhear tdr y , butwhenir anoutofpages, youwander edof fl ooki ng f oranewonet of i l l . -youbl eedi nkybl ackwhi l eibl eedbl oodr ed


idi edt r yi ngt ogi ve l i f et ot heper sonyou want edmet obe, nowt heghostofwhat usedt obehaunt sme dayandni ght . -keepchasi ngghost s


i tonl yt ookmeonel ook atyout oknowt hatiam goi ngt ohandyouover myhear tandyouar e goi ngt ot akei tandl eave i tl yi ngont hef l oorsoyou coul dst eponi tover&over , andst i l l ,igaveyouever y bi tofmyf r agi l est upi dhear t . -yourcar petmadeofhumanhear ti sbr oken


andt hatwast hel esson shel ear ned, t ol ovewhi l eyoust i l lcan, t ol ovewi t hever ybeatof yourf adi nghear t , l ovewhati sf r agi l e, i mper i l ed,anddai nt y , t ol oveever yt hi ng beaut i f uland br oken. -nobodyi sguar ant eedf or ever


t heysayt hatmostwr i t er s wr i t ewhenevert heyar e sadori nl ove, t oday ,youar et her eason mypenbl eeds, andyoumakemef eel bot h. -t hewr i t er


get t i nghur tsomet i mes i sokay ,i ti st heuni ver se’ s wayoft el l i ngust hatwe ar eal i ve,t hatwear est i l l human,t hatwear ecapabl e ofl ovi ng,andbesi des, wewoul dn’ tknowhow happi nessf eel sl i kei f wehaven’ tknownpai n. -t heheal i ng


Peopl eal wayst ol dme nott owor r ybecauset her e woul dal waysbel i ght att heendoft het unnel t ogui demenomat t er howdar ki tget s, If ol l owedi tbel i evi ngt hat youwer et hesunt hat shi nedt hr oughmyt unnel , yougotmemovi ng t oof ast ,t oor i sky , t oohopef ul , t oobl i ndt oseewhat ’ scomi ng, nooneevert ol dmet hel i ght att heendoft het unneli sn’ t al wayst hesun,somet i mes i ti sat r ai n. -t het r ai nwasf ast ert hanme


yourhear twi l lbr eak maybeonce maybet wi ce maybemor et han yourhear tcanhandl e, t hat ’ st heuni ver sal pr omi se,buti ti syou whodeci deswhoar e t heoneswor t hbr eaki ng i tf or . -chooseyourbat t l es


youshoul dhaveseen t hewaysheusedt o l ookatyoul i keyouwer et heocean wavesandshewas desper at et obepul l ed i nanddr own. -t hemovi ngon


never l ook f or heal i ng i n t he same hands t hat br oke you. -t hef r eedom


ACKNOWLEDGMENT Thankyouf ort het i meyougaveme andt hi sl i t t l ebook.Ihopet hi sshi f t ed somet hi ngi nsi deyou.Mayyounever st opf eedi ngyourf i r e.Mer cibeaucoup!

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t oGo db e t h eg l o r y!


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