Lynette Virgona Scholarship
A breath of fresh air By Kristy Brown
TAFE lecturer and SSTUWA member Kristy Brown was the 2018 recipient of the Lynette Virgona Memorial Scholarship. Here Kristy writes about what she learnt about herself and teaching from the professional development she undertook last year as part of the scholarship. When I tell people I’m a TAFE lecturer, I always get the same response: “The holidays must be great.” Yes, the holidays are great. Without them, I wouldn’t have the time to pick up the crumbling remains of my mental and physical health to rebuild to face another year of teaching! I think it is fair to say that a majority of teachers give everything to their jobs and receive very little gratitude in return. But teachers don’t teach to receive gratitude, I hear you say. And that is why a half-day of professional development (PD) with Marg Pontin (pictured right, standing left of Kristy) in Non-Violent Communication (NVC) was a breath of fresh air for me and nine of my colleagues. During the busiest time of the year, when we were all feeling burnt out and trying to make it to Christmas before collapsing into a heap, Marg told us it was okay to want to be appreciated.
manipulated, let down, taken for granted, unappreciated and pressured are all unclear in meaning and can cause or increase disagreement or conflict with others. Marg called these words faux feelings and, if I’m honest, I may be a tiny bit guilty of using some of those words in the workplace and my personal life (apologies to my husband!). Now that I had the words to communicate clearly, I could move to the next step of NVC: taking the time to think about my feelings, and the feelings of others, and identifying the needs not being met for both. This step naturally promotes empathy rather than anger. Once I was able to identify the needs of both parties, I could then focus on making a connection and finding a compromise or a solution that was acceptable and fair for both. Wow, both simple and clear! But in reality, it isn’t. Especially when my teacher brain is full of so many different ideas, thoughts, stories, methods, content, student needs, time constraints, meetings, emails, events and deadlines … and that’s before I even consider my family or personal life.
Then, I will always have the words with me to clearly communicate in a more empathetic way to find a compromise or solution.
Recent studies have shown that the human brain is wired to look for what isn’t working, rather than what is.
Or, maybe I should make a lanyard and hang it around my neck and take it with me to every class and every meeting. It’s a good start, and the lanyard probably won’t hurt as much.
Marg suggested that teachers need to take time to thank ourselves and each other for the work we do.
The second PD opportunity I attended was a four-day course in Tribes at Murdoch University with Dr Rebecca Saunders.
All of these words have a clear meaning, and when we tell someone this is what we need they usually understand us.
Imagine how inviting a staff meeting would be if we talked about what we did well, rather than what needs to be fixed.
Also, clearly defined in NVC are feelings. Feelings include being tired, confused, tense, sad, angry, energetic, excited, engaged, pleased and much more.
So, what will I do, now with this understanding of NVC, that will help find a better way when disagreements or conflicts occur?
Tribes aims to build community in the classroom and empathy in the individual by following strategies, processes, theory and courses of action.
But do not get these feelings confused with interpretations posing as feelings. Words like abandoned, bullied, overworked,
Well, I could get the feelings list tattooed on my left arm and the needs list tattooed on my right.
After all, gratitude is a need for people, just as understanding, cooperation, support, pleasure, sleep, empathy, protection, trust, choice and freedom are needs.
18
Western Teacher February 2020
I’m sure that all teachers think that their classrooms are a community and their students have empathy. But do they really? To be honest, I don’t think a teacher can answer that question until they experience Tribes.
