StandUp Magazine Spring 2013

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Spring 2013 FEATURES

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Brittney Griner – Changing the Game Both On and Off the Court By Helen J. Carroll & Ashland Johnson

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What the You Can Play Project Means to Me

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Nick Vujicic – A Bully’s Dream

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Rick Welts – Pioneering Sports Equality by Being True to Himself

By Jeff Kagan

By Greg Gillum

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By Connie Wardman

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Jason Collins Plays Starring Role in LGBT Movement By Stefan Swiat

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The Most Meaningful Meaningless Play By Cyd Zeigler Jr.

DEPARTMENTS

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LETTERS

8 In Your Face BEN COHEN, MBE, EXECUTIVE EDITOR

10 With You ERIC CARLYLE, CEO/PUBLISHER

12 BrandNews PATRICK DAVIS, CO-PUBLISHER

14 From Different to Special CONNIE WARDMAN, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

SPECIAL

19 Fitness Reaching Your True Potential

48 High-5 For Standing Up 56 Research

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LGBT Students in School Athletics

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IN EVERY ISSUE The Foundation: The Positive Impact of Sports Sports: AIDS/LifeCycle – You Can Make A Difference Campus Life: I Belong to the Team Politics: Playing OUT Pop Culture: Being True to Your Artistic Vision Success: The Success of Creating Teamwork in Everyday Life

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PUBLISHERS

EXECUTIVE EDITOR

Eric Carlyle, CEO/Publisher Patrick Davis, Co-Publisher

Ben Cohen, MBE

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Connie Wardman CONTRIBUTING EDITORS

Alison Doerfler Scott Herman Scott “Babydaddy” Hoffman Michael Losier Brian Sims Chef Art Smith Shane Windmeyer CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Helen J. Carroll Troup Coronado, ESQ. Greg Gillum Ashland Johnson Brian Patrick Cyd Zeigler Jr. ART DIRECTOR

Dara Fowler For Editorial and Media Inquiries editorial@standup-magazine.com Media Out Loud Global Advisory Board Eric Carlyle and Patrick Davis (Co-Chairs); Mark Braun; Helen J. Carroll; Troup Coronado, ESQ; Dr. William Kapfer; Michael Losier, Scott Norton, ESQ; and Kirk Walker StandUp Magazine is published by Sports Diversity Media, LLC, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Media Out Loud Global, LLC, under license from Ben Cohen Worldwide, LLC © 2013 by Sports Diversity Media, LLC Sports Diversity Media, LLC 4703 S. Lakeshore Dr., Suite 3 Tempe, Arizona 85282 480.222.4223 www.standup-magazine.com

For Sales Inquires advertising@standup-magazine.com or contact our Advertising Representative Fox Associations, Inc at: adinfo.MLD@foxrep.com Fox-Chicago, 312-644-3888 • Fox-New York, 212-725-2106 Fox-Los Angeles, 805-522-0504 • Fox-Detroit, 248-626-0511 Fox-Phoenix, 480-538-5021 • Fox-Atlanta, 800-440-0231

SPECIAL GUEST CONTRIBUTORS Jeff Kagan is widely involved in the LGBT sports community, both as an athlete and as co-founder of the NYC Gay Hockey Association and the NYC Gay Basketball League. He is also a co-founder of Out of Bounds NYC, an umbrella organization which supports all LGBT sports and recreation groups in the greater New York City area. A contributing writer to StandUp, Compete, Next and Go NYC Magazines, Kagan also created “Out In The Locker Room” blog. Kagan has been featured in “Jocks 2” by Dan Woog, and more recently in “Outsports Revolution: Truth and Myth in the World of Gay Sports” by Cyd Zeigler Jr. and Jim Buzinski. And in 2008, Kagan was honored as the very first "Athlete of the Year" by Compete Magazine (under its original title of Sports Out Loud Magazine) for his many contributions to the LGBT sports community.

Stefan Swiat has covered the NBA as a journalist for the past eight seasons. Before accepting a position as the lead writer for the Phoenix Suns, Stefan wrote for NBA.com. During his tenure in Phoenix, his work appeared in print, on television and on the web for the Suns as well as for TNT, ESPN, NBA TV, Yahoo! and AZ Central. A former basketball player, before writing and producing video in the NBA, Stefan played abroad in Europe as well as in college.

COVER DESIGN TEAM

Eleanor Safe and Andrew Jones Cover photo by Bret Grafton


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INYOURFACE

By Ben Cohen, MBE

Let's Expect Something Different

JASON

COLLINS AND ROBBIE ROGERS entered the history books recently, adding to the stories of their great accomplishments on the court and on the field. Something now sets them apart from their competitors. They shared with their teams, their fans and the public that they are each gay. They can now be true to their full power as athletes, undistracted by their secrets. Their courage places them further along the pioneering pathways cleared by other greats, like Olympian Greg Louganis, former major league baseball player Billy Bean, sports executive Rick Welts, and my good rugby friend Gareth Thomas. Each coming out helps the next one come easier, empowering others to play with less fear, knowing there is a greater chance of being welcomed and valued. In rugby, at least, that has long been the case. But as the U.S. sports world waited for the first openly gay player to come forward, it missed a story that is more revealing, at least to me: Brittney Griner came out. The headlines and interest in this story, however, were not the same. Griner came out very quietly to Sports Illustrated while Collins was the cover story of the same publication and the topic of media and fan conversations for days and weeks afterwards. Why? Is Griner less of an athlete? Hardly. She was the first NCAA basketball player ever to score 2,000 points and block 500 shots. In 2012, the three-time All-American was named the AP Player of the Year and the Most Outstanding Player of the Final Four. Brittney Griner’s coming out was perceived as less newsworthy for one reason: her gender. Sports culture encourages many assumptions, ones which can create a lot of blind spots. Often, people assume that “of course” female athletes are gay, and “of course” male athletes are straight. Those assumptions trap all involved, limiting what it means to be human, to be true. Media cared more about Collins and Rogers each coming out because in doing so they challenged expectations. Griner’s coming out did not. The lesser interest in her remarkable story reveals much about how sports culture can limit the value of incredible accomplishments. StandUp Magazine is a platform for a new age of sportsmanship, one that moves beyond biased expectations. True sportsmanship will flourish when we evolve and welcome others to our games. Let’s stop the assumptions — about race, gender, sexuality — and start to build new levels of respect for all the champions among us. Cheers,

Ben Cohen, MBE Founder and Chairman, the Ben Cohen StandUp Foundation

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Let’s stop the assumptions ... and start to build new levels of respect for all the champions among us.


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WITHYOU

By Eric Carlyle

Inspired by Authenticity

PUBLISHING

STANDUP MAGAZINE and witnessing true stories of personal achievement and good sportsmanship inspire me to be true to myself every day. Stories about our Executive Editor, Ben Cohen, MBE; Brittney Greiner and Jason Collins all show that regardless of gender, age, color, race, sexual orientation, disability and any other class distinction you could mention, everyone has an important story to share. Of all the stories on athletes who are currently impacting society I am truly inspired by Robbie Rogers. After having recently retired from professional soccer in order to tell the world he was gay, he received lots of support from other Major League Soccer (MLS) players. They said if being gay was the only reason he retired and he still wanted to play, he’d be welcomed back with open arms. Now as an openly gay player, he recently signed with the LA Galaxy, part of MLS. The bravery Rogers showed in accepting the offer from the Galaxy will make it easier for the next MLS player to come out. And that in itself demonstrates someone being true to himself. With so many worthy role models in sports today, when I think about who inspires me the most I realize that it is the everyday athlete who makes the conscious decision to live each day as an authentic person. When a person like Robbie Rogers is authentic, it means he is doing what he believes is right for himself, not necessarily worrying about conforming to what others think is correct. So in being true to me, let me say that I am honored and grateful to be part of StandUp Magazine and all the wonderful stories it shares with you. To work with Ben Cohen, MBE and the team at Ben Cohen Worldwide, LLC is truly amazing. Time to begin working on the Summer issue.

With you,

Eric Carlyle CEO/Publisher

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... when I think about who inspires me the most I realize that it is the everyday athlete who makes the conscious decision to live each day as an authentic person


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In Memory


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BRANDNEWS

By Patrick Davis

The Growing Power of Sportsmanship

THANKS

TO EVERYONE WHO HAS SUPPORTED the StandUp brand so far, we are preparing for our next stage of growth. As a social-commercial brand, these new opportunities allow us also to extend the depth of our commitment to help fund the Ben Cohen StandUp Foundation with a share of our profits. The more the brand grows, the more we can support the foundation's grant making. Our collective support to-date of anti-bullying education, awareness and grants now approaches $250,000. In the past year, since we launched our fan-favorite underwear line with Bluebuck, and extended the full StandUp product range through World Rugby Shop, a number of exciting new categories have opened up for StandUp. Each provides a new way to share the message in everyday life, and unlock non-profit funding. In the next year, you can expect to see: StandUp Shops, pop-up stores designed and launched with Nike, featuring StandUp merchandise available nowhere else. StandUp Sport, a collection of invigorating daily and after-exercise face and body products for men and children, from an industry leader in healthy skincare. StandUp Books, a series of inspirational stories of champions who succeeded against all odds, developed with one of the world's largest publishers. StandUp: The Movie, the inside story of how Ben Cohen lost his father, stood up to despair, won a World Cup and launched the world's first anti-bullying foundation. Each item under the StandUp name will carry our anti-bullying message further into the mainstream marketplace. While the funding each purchase provides to the foundation is vital, it is the brand's ability to champion a cultural shift with consumers that we believe is equally important. Like any brand, our challenge is to grow while never eroding the defining idea that guides us — for us, that is the power of sportsmanship to unite us all. We take the stewardship of the StandUp brand with great seriousness. We know that it is meaningful only if it resonates with you and your priorities. The next steps are exciting for us all, and we hope you find them compelling for the new ways they advance the StandUp movement. All the best,

Patrick T. Davis Co-Publisher Chief Executive Officer, Ben Cohen Worldwide, LLC

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Like any brand, our challenge is to grow while never eroding the defining idea that guides us — for us, that is the power of sportsmanship to unite us all.


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FROMDIFFERENTTOSPECIAL

By Connie Wardman

Be True To YOU!

GROWING UP,

EVERY ONE OF US has faced pressure to conform, to fit other people’s expectations of who we are and who we will become — from our families (birth or otherwise), our peers, our schools, our society in general. Even when we actually fit those expectations, I suspect there are hardly any of us who have totally escaped being bullied at some point by the same cast of characters listed above. Sadly, many people fear others who are different, feeling that their personal beliefs and way of life are being threatened. But rather than choosing to learn by asking about those differences, many choose to demean, humiliate, even to kill another person who is different so their personal world view doesn’t have to change. This isn't just about gay people. Many bullies believe that the worst verbal humiliation they can heap upon another is to use homophobic slurs, whether or not the target of their abuse is a member of the LGBT community. Whether straight or gay, at some point we are all faced with that life-defining moment of choice. Do we allow others to continue bullying us and hide who we are or do we decide to finally be true to ourselves — to be who we are rather than who and what someone else expects us to be. And we need to recognize that this is a much more difficult decision for gay people to make because there can be dreadful consequences to coming out of the closet — losing their family and friends, losing a job or professional career, even losing their lives. In this issue you will read stories of people who, in that moment of choice, found the courage to be true to themselves. We hope their stories will inspire you and those you love to make that same choice so you can be true to YOU! The world is a richer place for its diversity. And we are richer individuals when we practice acceptance and inclusion in our daily lives ... starting with ourselves. Acceptance is what lets all of us feel special rather than different.

Connie Wardman Editor-in-Chief

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The world is a richer place for its diversity. And we are richer individuals when we practice acceptance and inclusion in our daily lives … starting with ourselves


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Each issue delivers important interviews, exclusive photos, high-impact profiles, and daring features.

Introductory Offer

Just $15 one year

Support StandUp Magazine and help us make a difference by subscribing today.

Subscribing today at:

www.standup-magazine.com Be among the first to join Ben and support StandUp Magazine today. A portion of every subscription goes to support the Ben Cohen StandUp Foundation, the world’s first anti-bullying foundation.


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THEFOUNDATION

By Alison Doerfler

The Positive Impact of Sports

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SPORTS CAN HAVE A SIGNIFICANT IMPACT ON PEOPLE. Watching sports and playing sports is the source of pride and joy for so many around the world. As we have seen in the past few months through the stories of Jason Collins and Brittney Griner, athletes can play very important roles in advancing the conversation on topics of social relevance. Sports touch issues such as health and wellness, education, and social inclusion, including racism, homophobia and transphobia. Our partnership with Campus Pride enables us to work with students on college campuses as social change agents, as StandUp Ambassadors in sports and on campus. Sports can have a positive impact on community. Sports teams can truly be change agents in their communities. Sportsrelated organizations have the ability to tackle social issues that challenge their communities in creative and effective ways. Our partnership with Up2Us will focus on how we can train coaches to effectively address the issue of bullying both on and off the team and how to utilize the power of sports to offer an ideal environment for young people to learn life skills and feel safe. Connection to positive adults and role models, like coaches, protect youth from the effects of bullying. Sports can have positive impact on society. Can there be a return to the importance of dignity and respect as key elements

that affect performance? We track these stories at the Foundation and we tell these stories in the magazine. Our collaboration with It Gets Better and Creative Visions Institute will enable us to utilize media in ways that will continue to raise awareness about bullying and intolerance in sports and how we can communicate that Sports Gets Better. The business of sports has an amazing ability to affect change, but there needs to be strategic direction for the change that is needed. We see the use of the StandUp brand as an effective part of that strategy. We see our collaborative relationships with other non-profits as a key element in this success. What now has to be considered is how to utilize sports to tell this story better. How can the media draw attention to the stories of athletes that positively impact the game both on and off the field? How can communities hold teams accountable in supporting youth sports at all levels? How can team owners and coaches hold their players to standards of conduct that set good examples? By doing all of these things in parallel, perhaps we will be able to say with confidence that we have fostered a better society through the power of sports and elevated the tough conversations to places of respect and tolerance. Alison Doerfler is the Executive Director of the Ben Cohen StandUp Foundation & the Executive Vice President of Ben Cohen Worldwide, LLC

The business of sports has an amazing ability to affect change, but there needs to be strategic direction for the change that is needed. We see the use of the StandUp brand as an effective part of that strategy.

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FITNESS

By Scott Herman

Reach Your True Potential While Avoiding Overtraining

F

ITNESS CAN BE A FICKLE FRIEND. For weeks you may be a fitness fanatic exercising hard every day and then all of a sudden you don’t want to be anywhere near it. Why does this happen? How do you overcome it? What can you do to be sure this never happens to you? The ultimate goal when exercising is to always be improving. Whether trying to lose weight, gain muscle or increase your strength, everyone wants results. However, the key to staying focused and not losing your drive is to understand that rest is just as important as the time put in the gym. Without adequate rest your body will not only lose the time it needs to recover properly but you also will run the risk of overtraining. Overtraining is the wall most people hit that stops them dead in their tracks. It can lead to a wide variety of symptoms, including a high rate of fatigue and depression. If you start to notice these symptoms then it is time to take a break, reassess your meal plan and take a close look at your sleeping habits to ensure you are getting eight hours a night. If overtraining happens to you, it would be best to take a full week off from exercising and turn your focus to eating healthy and getting enough rest. So how do you continuously push yourself to new limits while avoiding overtraining? The secret lies within “deload” weeks. A deload week is a week of training, usually after fourto six weeks straight of intense training, where you train with

50-60 percent of your normal intensity. The goal is to stay active but mainly just go through the motions. What this does is provide your muscles and central nervous system (CNS) the time they need to properly recover. When training in a deload week you still want to make sure you are hydrating and eating just as you would during your normal training. If you do a lot of intense running, it may be a good idea to do low impact cardio to the point of a slow jog. Everyone has goals they want to reach and if you put the time into your training, you will definitely reach yours. Just make sure the journey you take to get there is a safe one with no pit stops in what I refer to as Overtraining City! Eat healthy, drink lots of water, sleep well, and remember that Hermanites Train Harder! #HTH www.ScottHermanFitness.com

Overtraining is the wall most people hit that stops them dead in their tracks. It can lead to a wide variety of symptoms, including a high rate of fatigue and depression.

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SPORTS

AIDS/LifeCycle – You Can Make A Difference

IF YOU HAVEN'T RIDDEN in this year's AIDS/LifeCycle 12, mark your calendar to participate in next year’s AIDS/LifeCycle 13 and then prepare yourself for a treat. You’ll be riding in the iconic seven-day, 545-mile bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles that has become the world’s largest fundraising event to fight AIDS. You’ll also be meeting a wonderful and eclectic group of people, people like Tyler Cassity who represent the heart and soul of this important cause. A graduate of New York City’s Columbia University, how did Tyler — a software project consultant-turned-owner of the legendary Hollywood Forever Cemetery in Los Angeles — decide to get involved? Having only cycled in the crazy urban traffic of New York City, how did he wind up joining the international group of cyclists riding to end HIV/AIDS? His is just one of the endlessly fascinating stories you’ll discover when you join thousands of other participants from around globe. For Tyler, it began when he moved to L.A. after purchasing the historic cemetery. Becoming friends with an executive of the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center who invited him to join the center’s team, Tyler started with some training rides to prepare for long distance open riding that included some differing types of terrain. He also took advantage of the mentoring they offer in everything from bike maintenance to fund raising. Now in his fourth year of riding to end AIDS, last year he alone raised $55,000. When you talk to Tyler about the ride and what it means to him, you hear his intense passion as he describes the experience as transformational. Likening it to a pilgrimage, he talks about the wonderfully supportive sense of community that pushes you physically as well as mentally, emotionally and spiritually to do your personal best. And for him, the annual candlelight vigil held by the ocean in Ventura is the true spirit of the ride. In silence interrupted only by ocean waves, participants remember and honor their loved ones as well as others who have lost their lives to AIDS. It is also the time to honor those living with HIV/AIDS.

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Although he is gay, Tyler talks about the diversity of the riders. His first year tent mate was a straight ally, and one of Tyler’s first supporters was a straight co-worker honoring a gay brother. This diverse family of riders really mirrors the diversity in families the world over. And it’s not just about the cyclists – this family on the move includes untold numbers of roadies and volunteers who keep the ride on track and on time. Calling the ride “incredibly wellsupported,” Tyler says that these are the people who make sure the riders get adequate nutrition and hydration both throughout the lunch and four rest stops during the day and once they’re camped for the night. They also provide medical resources and bike repairs throughout the seven-day journey. Whether you choose to ride alone or as part of a team, once you register you can take advantage of the mentoring and free training they offer by going to www.aidslifecycle.org. You will be supporting the life-saving programs and services of two of the nation’s largest HIV/AIDS organizations, the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center and the San Francisco AIDS Foundation.


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BRITTNEY GRINER –


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CHANGING THE GAME Both On and Off the Court By Helen J. Carroll and Ashland Johnson

ONE

of the most exciting things about watching sports is that it is action unscripted. We never know what is going to happen next. In an instant someone can rock the crowd with a home run, slam dunk or clutch interception.

Each game we get to watch our favorite team or favorite player strive for greatness. Just when we think our favorite player can’t “wow” us anymore than they already have, they surprise us with yet another astonishing play. It’s even sweeter when that same player can astonish us in much the same way even off the court. For millions of fans and dozens of LGBT sports equality advocates, this very thing happened last month. Not once but twice we were “wowed” by two professional athletes — Brittney Griner (women’s basketball icon) and Jason Collins (12-year NBA veteran) who each rocked the sports world by courageously coming out as gay. For the first time in the history of professional sports, both an influential male and female athlete came out within the same month. The sports world had been waiting years for an active male professional athlete in one of the big five sports to come out. A media blitz surrounded Collins while a more subdued reaction followed Griner’s revelation. To be sure, Jason Collins’ coming out was courageous. The impact of both of these athletes will remain an historic moment, certainly in the world of basketball and across the nation in all sports. But while we are celebrating the particular historic moment of Collins’ announcement and the combination of Griner’s and Collins’ message to all, it is also important that we don’t miss the impact Brittney Griner’s announcement has for women in sports. For too long women’s sports has been plagued with systemic homophobia that suppresses the existence and identities of lesbian athletes. Many women athletes have been trained to accept that openly lesbian athletes should barely be seen and never heard. For many of us, this training started early in our sports lives. We listened to rumors about our female coaches’ sexual orientation. We watched high school coaches lose their jobs based on those rumors alone. We watched as once-accepted teammates lost their positions, rooming assignments and team support when it was suspected that they were gay, often at the

insistence of team parents and even coaches. For many of us, our teams were our families and we were constantly reminded that to be out meant to lose that family. This narrative was reinforced for many of us by what we experienced in college team sports. At this level we learned to worry about our program’s reputation and our athletic careers. We watched as coaches we knew to be gay hid their sexual orientation. Many of us were advised by team captains or concerned coaching staff to also remain closeted for the “good of the team.” We were made to feel that being true to who we were would somehow damage our team, our careers and ourselves. Even today lesbian athletes are still conditioned to believe that their non-heterosexual identity is a distraction and a liability. The National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) receives numerous calls from both athletes and coaches at all levels who are facing discrimination simply because they are lesbian or bisexual. Women coaches risk losing their jobs; players risk losing scholarships. Consequently, lesbian and bisexual athletes are constantly bombarded with the message that career advancement and being openly gay is not an option.


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Given this continuous homophobic messaging, it shouldn’t

almost immediately after being selected as the number one draft

be surprising that so many women athletes choose to remain

pick. For most, the stage doesn’t get much more public. But by

closeted and so many refuse to speak out against LGBT discrim-

publically (and proudly) using this major platform to discuss her

ination. The oppression becomes internalized and the public

sexual orientation, Griner didn’t just amplify her message, she

suppression of one’s identity becomes automatic. As sports

essentially shattered that unspoken agreement about the visibility

equality advocates, we have seen how complacency with this un-

of out lesbians in women’s athletics. Further, Griner is undeniably

spoken agreement in women’s athletics — that gay women can

one of the most dominant female athletes to ever play the game,

exist but should not be seen or heard — negatively impacts our

and she is poised to forever transform the way people see the

LGBT athletes and the sports world as a whole. This unfortunate

WNBA. In a moment where she was set up to be the most visible

and downplayed women’s sports environment is what makes

and celebrated women’s athlete in the country, she did not

Griner’s courageous act so significant.

suppress her lesbian identity. In fact, she celebrated it.

No, Griner is not the first professional women’s athlete to

Griner did not just stop at being out and proud about who

come out. Sheryl Swoopes, Billie Jean King, Martina Navratilova,

she was. She went on to advocate for others to also be out and

Megan Rapinoe and Simone Augustus were also out and proud

proud, telling reporters that there are times when you cannot

women athletes and LGBT role models. But what makes Griner

worry about what people will say and must instead be “true to

stand out is how she challenged this systemic homophobia in

yourself” and let that “shine through.” Indeed, this was a message

women’s athletics in such a bold and public way. Unlike athletes

that most young gay athletes might never have heard in the sports

who have subtly come out or who have come out later in their

world. And Griner’s status in the women’s sports world helped to

careers or in retirement, Griner chose to publically claim her

amplify this message. As such, her words encouraging more

sexual orientation around one of the biggest events in women’s

athletes to be out actively challenged the systemic homophobia

professional sports – the WNBA draft.

that suppresses many lesbian athletes. Because of her courage,

She came out in her first interview as a professional athlete,

young women will get to hear a prominent sports figure tell them they do not have to hide. So in one courageous and honest moment, Griner boldly challenged homophobia in women’s sports and championed a more inclusive sports narrative. And what gives sports equality advocates hope that this is a truly major turning point in women’s athletics is that Griner’s world did not end. She was not shunned by her new team. Rather, they publically supported her. Fans continue to rally around her. Sponsors did not back down from her. In fact, she signed with Nike within a week of the announcement. Griner has even been vocal about her plans to continue her advocacy. In short, Griner is thriving in spite of what lesbian athletes are usually led to believe. And in doing so, she is sending a powerful message to the sports community that lesbian athletes can be out, proud and successful. What will this moment mean for women’s athletics? What will it mean for equality in sports as a whole? Will Griner’s brave act prompt other professional athletes to come out? Will it open the doorway to more coaches and players being able to be themselves without fear of discrimination? We hope. But it might take years to tell the true impact of this significant moment. What we know for certain now though is that this is a much-needed game-change. And hopefully, given Griner’s role model status and the public’s reception of her decisions to be out and proud despite the risks, her bold actions will help make sports a more inclusive and accepting space for all athletes. Retired NBA legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar coaching Griner on how to shoot his famous Sky Hook.

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YOU CAN PLAY PROJECT

Means to Me By Jeff Kagan

THERE

was a time in my life when ice hockey was all I'd think about. It captivated me, pushing all other interests aside.

Before discovering the game, I had absolutely no interest in sports whatsoever, actually despising all sports. This may have had something to do with my height; not quite five feet tall throughout high school. Or maybe it was because my hand-eye coordination didn't truly develop until I was in my mid-twenties. But hockey came along when there was a big void in my life and it changed everything. It may have been the timing. It may have been fate. There was something about it. The elegance, the magic … it lured me in and brought a new joy to my world. I'd play at all hours of the night, some of my games starting after midnight when the ice was available. One season I was able to skate four nights in a row, playing every Thursday through Sunday. I’d limp into work on Monday morning, loving every bit of pain as it reminded me of the hours of fun I had over the last four days. It was a wonderful time in my life. In my mid-twenties, I was new to ice hockey and new to New York City, both clearly defining me to my friends and family. I dedicated all of my free time to the game. I began following the New York Rangers, not as a “band-wagon fan” but in 1993, the year before they won their Stanley Cup when they finished last in the league. I was watching every National Hockey League (NHL) game I could and going to as many games as I could. I even took a 14-hour train ride to Montreal for the weekend with a friend just to see a Canadiens game in the beloved Montreal Forum before it closed for good. In 1995 I went to the All-Star Game in Denver and got to meet the legendary Gordie Howe.

I had my picture taken with him elbowing me to the head which was his signature move. In 1996 I was a PeeWee Youth Hockey Coach at Sky Rink at Chelsea Piers and my team played against the team that Wayne Gretzky’s two sons played on. Of course I’d speak to Wayne at the rink every week which was as surreal as you could imagine for any hockey fan! Being on the ice was now second nature to me. I was a hockey player. I was in the best shape of my life and I felt more comfortable in my skates than I did out of them. Covered head-to-toe in all of my gear, I felt invincible. But deep inside where no hockey gear could protect me, I was still vulnerable due to a part of my life that I had yet to reveal to my teammates, my friends or my family. I was gay. I worried that if my secret ever got out, I would no longer be able to play hockey. I don’t exactly remember why I felt that way but it is a feeling that I will never forget. How would people look at me if they knew? Who would want me on their team? How would I be treated in the locker room? Who would want me to coach their children? Sadly, these are the thoughts that haunted me day and night. What if my secret got out … what if?


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Worlds Collide

had absolutely nothing to do with my ability to be a hockey

On nights when I couldn’t sleep I’d spend a lot of time on

player. It would take me some time to process all of it. A few

the Internet looking for answers about my sexuality. Alone and

days after returning to New York I got an email from Paul

afraid, I had no one I could talk to about this. I’d search

O’Kane asking me to write a short article for their newsletter

keywords to see where they’d lead, hoping for a few articles

on the subject, “What Gay Hockey Means to Me.” Still in the

that might comfort my racing brain. One of the first words I

closet in New York, I figured I had nothing to worry about

tried was the word "gay." Not surprisingly, over 10,000 results

with a newsletter that only a handful of people in Toronto

appeared but they were not exactly educational. I decided to

would see.

see what would happen if I searched for keywords "gay" and

Obviously I knew very little about how the Internet had

"hockey" together. Surely nothing would come out of those

turned a big world into a very small one. A few days later I got

two words because in my mind the two didn’t belong in the

an email from one of my New York teammates, Jeff Minck. He

same sentence. But I was pleasantly surprised to find a short

wrote to tell me that he had read an online article by a gay

list of gay hockey associations.

hockey player from New York City named Jeff Kagan and

The first one I checked out was the Toronto Gay Hockey

wondered if I was that Jeff Kagan. My heart raced as I read the

Association. Their website wasn't tattered with naked men but

email and I felt a panic attack coming on. But his next sentence

instead showed pictures of people playing hockey, celebrating

put me at ease. As I continued reading, he told me he was also

together after games and looking genuinely happy. There were

gay and surprised that there were two gay men on the same

game scores and summaries — even a mission statement:

hockey team. What were the chances?

“The Toronto Gay Hockey Association offers an environment

The following October both Jeff and I went to Toronto for

free from all forms of harassment and discrimination and

the tournament. That weekend O’Kane suggested that we set

encourages fair play, openness and friendship.” I thought I

up a similar organization in New York City. We started

was dreaming!

planning right away, modeling our organization on the one in

They hosted an annual event in October called The Friend-

Toronto. We promoted it in local gay weekly magazines and

ship Tournament. I immediately sent them an email letting

newspapers and held our first meeting at the LGBT Community

them know I was interested but asked if I could participate since

Center on July 29, 1999.

I was in the closet. They invited me with open arms. When I

New players started coming out of the woodwork and

arrived at the rink I looked around and saw about 200 hockey

soon we had a few teams. The one similarity I observed among

players. I nervously asked Paul O’Kane, one of the tournament

the new members was that many of them had grown up playing

directors, if they were all gay. He said, “Well, most of ‘em.”

ice hockey but decided to give it up in their mid-teens. Many

Everyone was friendly and I felt welcome. I was placed on the

lost interest, citing a feeling of not fitting in. I attribute a lot

Vancouver team and noticed that next to my name it said

of these stories to the homophobia that many of us have

“Captain.” When I met with the team and asked why I was

experienced as children or teenagers.

listed as the team captain they told me that because I was from New York, they assumed I’d be bossy.

When I was younger, it wasn’t only my lack of height that made me feel like I didn’t fit in, it was also the sense of being

I was instilled with a great sense of belonging. The

different. I knew I was attracted to boys. And I knew that it

camaraderie was astounding, as if I had walked into a place

was wrong … or at least perceived as wrong by the insults and

where everyone knew my deepest, darkest secret. But rather

homophobic slurs tossed around the school yard. Sometimes

than push me away, it brought me closer to them. I could let

they were directed at me specifically but generally they were

my guard down and just be myself and play hockey. This was

directed at anyone in the sights of the "daily bully." I use that

the very beginning of my journey, not just toward opening the

term because there wasn't just one bully in my life. There were

closet door but toward finding real happiness in my life.

several. But that comes with the territory when you're the

Those four days were four of the greatest days of my life. I learned a lot about myself and realized that my sexual orientation

28 I StandUp I SPRING 2013

smallest kid in the schoolyard. As children, we’ve all heard those disparaging words and


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they bring with them a feeling, an association of something you do NOT want to be. It is Survival 101 for any child at school — you camouflage yourself in the guise of being "normal" because being different can be dangerous. And if you feel different than your peers, then how soon will it be before they begin to notice it? How soon before you don’t want to be part of that group? That’s how homophobia begins in each of us. We hate ourselves for not fitting in. It isn’t hard to imagine why gay teens are four times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight peers. But that single experience in Toronto of walking into the rink and meeting 200 gay hockey players just like me was all

AS CHILDREN, WE’VE ALL HEARD THOSE DISPARAGING WORDS AND THEY BRING WITH THEM A FEELING, AN ASSOCIATION OF SOMETHING YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE. IT IS SURVIVAL 101 FOR ANY CHILD AT SCHOOL — YOU CAMOUFLAGE YOURSELF IN THE GUISE OF BEING "NORMAL"

it took to help me rebuild my self-esteem. It made me understand that I didn’t need to worry about being different. I could play the game I loved so much and still be accepted for who I am. That’s the kind of feeling we wanted to create in our members. By joining the New York City Gay Hockey Association, you joined a new family that was just like you, a family

management at Madison Square Garden began to broadcast

that would stand by you.

warnings that they would remove fans who behaved offensively. They also posted additional security throughout the arena.

Homophobia Rears Its Ugly Head In 2007 the NYC Gay Hockey Association arranged a

You Can Play

group trip to see the New York Rangers play. When buying

In November 2009 Brendan Burke, the youngest son of

group tickets your group is mentioned on the jumbo screen

the Toronto Maple Leafs General Manager Brian Burke, came

that hangs over the arena for all of the other patrons to see.

out to his team. Brendan was an athlete and student manager

There were about 20 of us, very happy to be there, having a

of the RedHawks Men’s Ice Hockey Team at Miami University

great time. We anxiously waited for the second period break to

in Ohio. Coming out in this forum was somewhat unusual

see our organization’s name appear on the giant screen. And

considering that homophobia was still present in many parts

there it was. We were thrilled. However, following the appearance

of the sports world. But he had the courage to move forward and

of the name “New York City Gay Hockey Association,” 10,000

he was praised by his teammates and the hockey community at

Rangers fans began to boo, making it clear that we were

large. News stories of his coming out hit the sports section of

not welcome.

newspapers and websites all across North America. I can still

My heart began to race. I wasn’t sure if I was feeling angry or

remember reading every article on the subject. I was so happy

terrified, or a combination of both. Shortly after this incident we

for Brendan, happy for his courage to come out but also for

wrote a letter to Glenn Sather, the Rangers General Manager,

the respect that he earned from his teammates, and most

asking him to create a fan education program that denounced

importantly, from his family.

anti-gay remarks. When we didn’t get any feedback from the

Tragically, less than three months later Brendan and a

Rangers, our next step was to contact New York City Council

friend were killed in a car accident driving in a snowstorm in

Speaker Christine Quinn. Quinn, who is gay, arranged a

Indiana. I read the news that day with tears in my eyes. As a

sit-down with us and the management of Madison Square

fellow gay athlete, Brendan was an inspiration to me. He was

Garden to determine what could be done to prevent this from

one of us. He had a great future ahead of him working to fight

happening again. The atmosphere in the meeting was tense

homophobia in sports.

but we opened a dialogue on the subject at hand. As a result,

While this seemed like this was the end of his story at the

SPRING 2013 I StandUp I 29


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time, it was really only the beginning. In March 2012 Brendan’s dad Brian and his brother Patrick founded the You Can Play Project along with Brian Kitts and Glenn Witman of GForce Sports. Their goal was to continue Brendon’s fight against homophobia in sports. In an article about his brother, Patrick Burke wrote that the entire Burke family promised their “unwavering, unremitting, relentless support” of the cause. The You Can Play Project has made some amazing progress over the past year. Patrick Burke has traveled all over with LGBT athletes and allies, making speeches at various schools and colleges, and spreading the organization’s very basic yet important seven-word message: “If you can play, you

THE PARTNERSHIP BETWEEN THE YOU CAN PLAY PROJECT AND THE NHL IS NOT ONLY IMPROVING THE HOCKEY EXPERIENCE FOR EVERYONE, IT IS ALSO BRINGING HOPE TO A WHOLE NEW GENERATION OF HOCKEY FANS. WE WON’T SEE SO MANY PLAYERS WALKING AWAY FROM THE GAME THEY LOVE.

can play.”

THE ORGANIZATION’S GOALS ARE AS FOLLOWS: You Can Play is dedicated to ensuring equality, respect and safety for all athletes, without regard to sexual orientation.

in the closet, but more about the kids — the youth hockey

You Can Play works to guarantee that athletes are given a fair

players of the world, the teenagers who right this very minute

opportunity to compete, judged by other athletes and fans

are going through the same torture that so many of us endured

alike, only by what they contribute to the sport or their team’s

years ago. This partnership is a light at the end of the tunnel

success. You Can Play seeks to challenge the culture of locker

and it sends a very clear message of inclusion, not rejection.

rooms and spectator areas by focusing only on an athlete’s skills, work ethic and competitive spirit."

In his interview about the partnership, Patrick Burke’s most poignant quote is, "The big thing for me as an older brother is that, looking back, I didn't do enough because I

Over 60 NHL players and personnel have endorsed the

didn't know. I didn't do enough at the time to make sure that

campaign as well as several American Hockey League and

his locker room was safe and that he was feeling at home in

college teams. These statistics alone were enough to bring a

the sports culture. By the time I learned to change my ways

smile to my face. But then on Thursday, April 11, 2013 my jaw

and to do what I needed to do, it was too late for him as a

dropped. Commissioner Gary Bettman of the National

young athlete," Burke said. "This is, from the Burke family's

Hockey League (NHL) held a press conference announcing a

perspective, this is making sure that the next generation of

partnership between the NHL, the NHL Players’ Association

LGBT athletes and coaches and fans don't have to go through

and the You Can Play Project.

what Brendan went through."

Bettman said, "Our motto is 'Hockey Is For Everyone,' and

The partnership between the You Can Play Project and the

our partnership with You Can Play certifies that position in a

NHL is not only improving the hockey experience for every-

clear and unequivocal way. While we believe that our actions

one, it is also bringing hope to a whole new generation of

in the past have shown our support for the LGBT community,

hockey fans. We won’t see so many players walking away from

we are delighted to reaffirm through this joint venture with

the game they love. They’ll stick with it, try harder, and know

the NHL Players' Association that the official policy of the

that they’ll be judged only on their abilities as athletes. I now

NHL is one of inclusion on the ice, in our locker rooms and

feel the support of the NHL — I feel included. And that same

in the stands."

feeling of support is going around from locker room-to-locker

This was truly a dream come true. I began thinking not so much about the professional athletes who may be struggling

30 I StandUp I SPRING 2013

room, with hockey players of all ages, from PeeWee league to the NHL, now knowing that if they can play, they can play.


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NICK VUJICIC –

A Bully’s

DREAM

Nick Vujicic knows it. He knows he looks different than anyone else. As he says, “I am a bully’s dream.” One look at him and we understand — he has no arms or legs. Born in Australia in 1982, Vujicic (VOO-yee-cheech) unexpectedly came without arms or legs. But he’s not just a person who’s disabled. Based on his life experiences and faith, he has become a world-renowned motivational and inspirational speaker — AND an athlete. It’s difficult to imagine how Vujicic dealt with so many challenges and years of bullying and still remained true to himself. Yet today, in addition to his motivational speaking career, he is an author, musician and actor with surprising hobbies that include fishing, painting and swimming. As a child Vujicic faced not only the issues of being bullied in school, he also struggled with loneliness and depression. His physical challenges created barriers that isolated him from the other kids. He wondered why he was so different from everyone else. Was there a purpose to his disabilities, to his life? Why was he here? Vujicic says, “I have learned to ignore hurtful comments in adulthood, but when I was in grade school I was constantly taunted by my classmates. And what made it worse, few stood up for me. My experiences with bullies left me feeling intimidated, depressed, anxious and sick to my stomach.” He shared that “most grade school days ended with tears and on one occasion led me to a failed suicide attempt. I didn’t tell my parents when I was picked on because I didn’t want to upset them. I thought I could handle it myself, but I was wrong. I should have told them.” By age 10 Vujicic had endured more teasing and bullying than he could handle. So instead of his usual bath routine with assistance from his dad, he asked him if he could take the bath by himself. As his father left, he slid under the water and turned face down. “I saw in my mind my mum and my dad and my brother crying at my grave if I actually went through with it.” He couldn’t do it. This was an important turning point in his life – it was the last time he fell victim to his bullies’ attempts to belittle him. Crediting his faith for helping overcome his challenges as well as the continual encouragement of his parents, family, friends, even strangers, he completed high school and earned dual Bachelor’s degrees in accounting and financial planning. During college Vujicic served his spiritual faith by developing his speaking abilities. In telling others about his life he “found the purpose of my existence,

“TOGETHER, let’s embrace those who doubt their worthiness. Together, let’s wipe away the tears of those who privately struggle. Together, let’s rise up to protect the wounded hearts of boys, girls, men and women around the world.” 32 I StandUp I SPRING 2013


Nick_BullysDream_Layout 1 6/6/13 10:26 AM Page 2

By Greg Gillum

and also the purpose of my circumstance. There’s a purpose for why

beliefs through his outreach efforts across the world by speaking

you’re in the fire.”

with groups large and small, encouraging and motivating

He has also mastered his own version of several sports. Growing

children to stand up to and report the bullying they see. He

up, he learned to ride a skateboard on his stomach and to play ball

applauds recent efforts from local, state, and national governments

with his head. He had so much energy and determination to partic-

that have enacted legislation against bullying, saying that “In fact,

ipate in all the same activities as his friends that by the time a set of

this month I am speaking in several different venues where we

prosthetic arms and legs were ready for him, he didn’t adapt to them.

are conducting statewide campaigns against bullying.”

The one piece of equipment he used was a specially equipped wheel

Several years ago Vujicic married and became a father which

and lift chair. His current chair raises him up to table level and down

redefined his life’s purpose. “As a new father, I will serve as the

to the ground. Nowadays as an avid amateur athlete, Vujicic can be

champion defender for my son. I do not want him to be the target

found surfing the waves off Oahu, swimming and diving, even

of a bully’s reckless comments, but I cannot isolate him in a

enjoying the thrill of tandem skydiving.

protective bubble. He will, one day, feel the sting of someone’s

He shares that “As I travel around the world talking to tens of

deliberate arrows of cruelty. And to prepare him, I will spend plenty

thousands of young people, it is evident that no one is immune from

of time coaching my son on how to neutralize the comments from

being bullied. ... Bullying is a global issue. … you don’t have to be

an angry peer.”

disabled to experience the cruelty of gossip, teasing and slander.

Vujicic recently traveled to Serbia, Croatia, and Slovenia to

Healthy 16-year old girls respond with shocking and drastic

address groups at several large events as the launch of Life Without

measures when their peers say they are too fat, too thin, have bad

Limbs World Outreach program. Reflecting on his personal

skin, have big lips, a big nose, huge ears or the wrong hairstyle.”

motivation, Vujicic said, “I embraced having what I have — and

Vujicic notes the growing trend of teen girls to cut themselves when

what I mean is really being thankful for what I do have instead of

peer pressure becomes overwhelming and the “relentless teasing

being angry for what I don’t have.” His recent book, “Unstoppable,”

from a bully that convinces a teenage boy to take his life.” Having experienced it himself, Vujicic has developed an under-

is a New York Times bestseller and his YouTube videos and motivational events have made him many people’s “huggable hero.”

standing of some of the extreme actions that victims of bullying take

His story, along with pictures, videos, messages and blog can

in response to the taunts and constant negative pressures from

be found at www.lifewithoutlimbs.org. Vujicic invites everyone

students and even teachers. “School shootings, or theatre killings,

to, “Join me in this never-ending effort to dissuade the bully and

are all too common. Notably, the shooter is often a victim of bullying

protect his victims. … Together, let’s embrace those who doubt

who decides to seek vengeance by wielding weapons of war against

their worthiness. Together, let’s wipe away the tears of those who

innocent targets. It’s a vicious cycle where the bully’s victim becomes

privately struggle. Together, let’s rise up to protect the wounded

a bully himself.”

hearts of boys, girls, men and women around the world.”

In order to establish an international organization to support his motivational work, Vujicic moved from Australia to California in 2007 and now serves as president and CEO of the non-profit Life Without Limbs. Through his organization he remains true to his

Greg Gillum has professional writing, publishing and advertising experience for regional and national publications in the U.S. and Great Britian. After the death of his partner and mother, he was called to the ministry and is now a senior theology student at Luther Seminary in St. Paul, Minnesota.


RickWelts_True_Layout 1 6/10/13 11:50 AM Page 1

Rick Welts –

BY BEING T


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PIONEERING SPORTS EQUALITY

G TRUE TO HIMSELF By Connie Wardman

IN

a business where players are routinely over six feet tall and beyond, Rick Welts (who calls himself “vertically challenged”) has certainly had no problem successfully rising within the National Basketball Association (NBA) executive ranks.

Why? Well, are you a basketball lover? Are you a fan of the NBA All-Star Weekend with its Slam Dunk contest and a game for the retired Legends of the NBRPA, the association of retired players from the NBA, ABA and Harlem Globetrotters? How about the WNBA? If so, you have Rick Welts to thank for much of the marketing genius behind these and other moves the NBA has made to rise from a oncepoorly run business to the powerhouse it is today. Now the president and chief operating officer (COO) of the Oakland, California-based Golden State Warriors, Welts long and storied journey in professional basketball began in 1969 as a 16-year-old ball boy with his hometown team, the Seattle SuperSonics. And from that time forward, his career has been defined by sports. Although he has spent most of his professional career in basketball, his non-basketball résumé includes a three-year stint (1980-1982) with Bob Walsh & Associates, a Seattle sports marketing firm, and a year (1999-2000) as president of Fox Sports Enterprises. While he has always loved basketball, Welts shared that he’s really had a business bent to him from the outset. Describing himself as a budding entrepreneur from his earliest years, he said he was the kid you’d see at your door offering to do odd jobs or selling something. And while he was thrilled to be a ball boy, his goal, as well as his degree from the University of Washington, was always focused on a career in journalism, film and broadcasting. In the early 1970s that dream came true when he was hired to work part-time in the Sonics media relations office, an opportunity that turned into a 10-year stretch filling a number of roles. He eventually became the team’s director of public relations during the SuperSonics’ NBA Finals appearances in 1978 and 1979 and their NBA Championship win in ‘79. His efforts earned him recognition by the NBA Public Relations Directors’ Association in 2006 when they awarded him their “Tribute to Excellence Award.” The award is given annually to a current or former member of the NBA PR family for demonstrating an out-

standing level of performance and service during their NBA career. David Stern, now commissioner of the NBA, was considered a rising star in the league office when he recruited Welts to become the NBA’s director of national promotions, asking businesses and corporations to put their marketing money into what was arguably the least popular sport at that time. Worlds away from today’s well-organized business structure, as Welts began what would be a very successful 17-year stint at the NBA league office in New York in 1982, he was faced with the huge perception problem that the NBA was poorly run and fraught with ownership issues. Welts said there were also concerns that basketball was too “Black” to be accepted by mainstream America, something that he never believed was true.


RickWelts_True_Layout 1 6/10/13 11:50 AM Page 3

Rather than seeing any of this as a negative, however, he

basketball games in foreign countries which led the way to open-

enjoyed the environment and the opportunity to build the

ing international NBA satellite offices in Australia, Asia, Europe,

brand, calling it fun. You don’t have to talk with Rick Welts for

Mexico and Canada before he left the league in 1999.

more than a couple of minutes to realize just how positive and

But by 2002 Welts had come back to basketball and this time

upbeat he really is. Loving a challenge, he sees every day as a

as the president and COO of the Phoenix Suns. Overseeing all

blessing. His personal philosophy is to “focus on the positive —

the business operations for the Suns, he also had responsibility

and then deliver on it!” He believed then and now that people

for management of the US Airways Center where the team

want to be entertained by high-level competition and dramatic

plays as well as for the WNBA’s Phoenix Mercury. And during

plays; they also want great personal stories of the players. So

his tenure there true to form, success followed on all levels,

rather than focusing on the problems and the perceptions he

even on the court. The Suns posted five 50-plus winning

believed to be incorrect, he turned the focus on the game and

seasons and advanced to the Conference Finals in 2005, 2006

the players. And deliver, he did! It’s his attitude, along with his

and 2010 while the Mercury won the WNBA Championship

natural gift for marketing that have turned the NBA into one of

in 2007 and 2009.

the most respected professional sports organizations of today.

At this point you might think that Rick Welts’ life was

It’s hard to find a position in which Welts hasn’t served on

picture-perfect. But all this has been about his business career;

the way up the management ladder, always moving the

there’s been nothing about his personal life. He certainly had

organization’s visibility and profits forward with his marketing

a personal life but it was a shadow life that few knew about.

and management savvy. Along the way he was credited for

There was a reason for that – Welts is gay. For all members of

coming up with the concept for the All-Star Weekend in 1984.

the LGBT community, coming out is an important rite of

And in a real-life example of imitation being the sincerest form

passage, finally allowing you to be honest with others about

of flattery, the idea was picked up by both Major League

who you are. But that honesty also leaves you vulnerable. And

Baseball (MLB) and the National Hockey League (NHL) and

for many, coming out can carry with it heavy physical, mental

has become a standard event in both sports. His mounting

and emotional penalties in an attempt to escape the pain.

accomplishments led to him serving as executive vice president,

Yet not being honest about who you are is its own particular

chief marketing officer and president of NBA Properties, making

prison of silence. It requires you to live a lie, to be eternally

him third-in-command at the NBA.

uncomfortable in your own skin so that others can continue

As a strong supporter of women’s basketball, Welts has also

being comfortable in theirs without requiring them to change

been recognized for his role in marketing the launch of the

their awareness of others. And this has been particularly true

WNBA in 1996. For his work with Valerie B. “Val” Ackerman,

in professional sports where the pervasive exaggerated macho

founding president of the WNBA, in 1998 Welts was named

attitude has, until Jason Collins’ announcement in April,

“Marketer of the Year” by Brandweek. And if you fondly

continued to keep professional athletes and sports executives

remember the famous NBA Dream Team that played in the

closeted until after they retire. But that first began to change

1992 Barcelona Olympics, as the agent for USA Basketball it was

on May 15, 2011 when Welts became the first highest-ranking

Welts who created their marketing campaign. Drawing on his

and perhaps best-known executive in U.S. men’s professional

comprehensive experience at every level of the NBA’s operations,

team sports to come out publically.

he was also extensively involved in organizing preseason

... not being honest about who you are is its own particular prison of silence. It requires you to live a lie, to be eternally uncomfortable in your own skin so that others can continue being comfortable in theirs.

This wasn’t an easy decision to make, according to Welts, because for the first time he was required to be public about his heretofore hidden personal life. And when public perception, to say nothing of a lack of job protection legislation in 28 states in the U.S. means that you can still be fired for being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, a public announcement that you are gay can turn your life upside down. Coming out publically is truly not an easy decision to make. In a touching in-depth article done at the time of his coming out by Dan Barry and run as a front page story in the New York

36 I StandUp I SPRING 2013


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Times the day of his announcement, Welts revealed some of the

Rick Welts, now the president and chief of operations for the

pain and anguish created by years of being closeted. Now in his

Golden State Warriors, is a good friend of mine. He reached

50s, he began to think about his life and the sacrifices the silence

out to me while he was in the process of deciding whether to

had demanded of him, wondering if its resulting isolation had

come out quietly or to share his story with the public. He told

cost him too much. In 1994 his partner of 17 years died from

me that he continually carried that LA Daily News article in

AIDS-related complications. Yet because no one officially knew

his pocket because it gave him the courage to follow my

about his partner, he had to face his grief alone as well as the

example. He wanted his story to offer courage and support to

anxiety of waiting a week for the results of an HIV test which

someone in turmoil just like mine had helped him when he

came back negative. Then in 2009 a 14-year relationship finally

was trying to decide how to make his announcement. That’s

ended partly due to the shadow life Welts required of his

pretty powerful!”

partner. He shared with regret that “My high profile in this

When Welts made the decision to come out publically, to

community and my need to have him be invisible … ultimately

finally be true to himself above all else, he announced that he

became something we couldn’t overcome.”

was resigning from his position with the Suns to move to

Asking advice from his family and close friends in addition

northern California to live with his new partner. In essence,

to journaling his experiences, he wrestled with his decision to

Welts decided to take his two separate lives and integrate them

come out. And if he did decide to come out, part of his

into one; he courageously chose to finally live openly and freely

decision was whether to come out privately in a quiet manner

as a total human being. When asked about the reactions from

or to come out publically. One of the close friends he consulted

his announcement, Welts shared that he didn’t receive any

was Kirk Walker, at that time the head coach of Oregon State’s

negative feedback from it. Although he received thousands of

women’s softball program, one of the very few openly gay

emails and letters, not one of them was negative. Calling it a

Division 1 head coaches. Now assistant coach of the UCLA

remarkable experience, he said that the results were way beyond

women’s softball program, in an interview with Compete

his expectations, leaving him feeling incredibly humbled.

Magazine carried in its April 2012 issue, Walker shared the following story about his friend.

Rick Welts took a huge risk in not only going public but also sharing that his reason was to be with his partner. But

“In April 2011 the LA Daily News ran an article on me,

clearly, his risk paid off — in one of the first public signs that

stating that I bring hope to the gay and lesbian community.

societal attitudes toward homophobia were changing, just a

Shown is an architectural rendering of the Warriors new $500 million privately-funded stadium ready for occupancy in 2017.

38 I StandUp I SPRING 2013


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few weeks later he was hired as the president and COO of the

Always one to love the challenge of professional sports

Warriors. While he certainly wasn’t looking for rewards, just

management, he has taken to his new challenge with the War-

four months later the U.S. Tennis Association (USTA)

riors with his customary positive attitude, creating a cultural

presented him with their 2011 ICON Award at the US Open

change at the Warriors office by re-staffing starting at the senior

in New York City. The ICON Award recognizes and celebrates

level and making the team an integral part of the other 29 NBA

individuals who have had a positive impact on diversity and

teams. Welts says that there is an amazing network of people

inclusion in the sports industry and society.

and information available to the Warriors that they hadn’t

Welts’ willingness to be true to himself has helped move

taken advantage of prior to his arrival.

equality in professional sports forward in a way not seen

He’s also very busy getting the team ready to move from

before. Prior to making his public coming out announcement,

Oakland, where they currently play in the oldest facility in

Welts had first shared the information with Commissioner

existence, to San Francisco. Although the move isn’t big in miles,

Stern, some of the players and also with several senior executives

it is a huge logistical undertaking since the new $500 million

at Nike. In a recent interview with Scott Soshnick of

privately-funded arena is the first such facility built without

Bloomberg.com, Welts revealed that Nike had asked him to

taxpayer money. Due for occupancy in 2017, it’s a waterfront

deliver a message to any gay professional sports figure in a

complex at the foot of the Bay Bridge that comes with all sorts

major U.S. team sport thinking about coming out that the

of environmental studies and regulations from both the state of

company would want to endorse him. In a sign of just how far

California and the port of San Francisco. In 2012 the Warriors

the sports profession has come to achieving equality, Welts

also invested in the former Dakota Wizards, bringing them to

said that “They made it clear to me Nike would embrace it.

nearby Santa Cruz. The team has moved to a 2,500-seat facility

The player who does it, they’re going to be amazed at the

as the Golden State Warriors’ affiliate development league or

additional opportunities that are put on the table, not the ones

D-League, now called the Santa Cruz Warriors.

that are taken off.”

While many straight athletes are now publically campaigning

Clearly, Nike (whose advertising includes “#BETRUE” in

to eradicate homophobia in sports, it first required the courage

gay-associated rainbow colors) and many other major compa-

of gay athletes and sports executives like Rick Welts to be willing

nies are showing signs that they are ready to invest big marketing

to risk coming out of the closet. His successful post-coming out

dollars in sports equality. Dallas Mavericks owner Mark

move from the Suns to the Warriors shows the change in how

Cuban has said that “It would be a marketing goldmine for all

far we have come as a society by finally judging people based

involved,” while Bob Witeck, a gay marketing strategist and

on their ability to perform a job rather than by their sexual

corporate consultant has agreed, with the proviso that the

orientation alone.

person would need to be a high profile athlete. While Jason

Welts’ image in the media has continued to be very positive

Collins wasn’t a high profile NBA player until his announce-

and it focuses on his remarkable marketing ability to shape and

ment, nevertheless his strength and courage are being publically

mold the Warriors franchise rather than on his sexual orientation.

acknowledged most often in a positive light in the media.

But it’s obvious that his 2011 announcement laid the groundwork

If it was not for Welts’ courage to be true to himself and go public while in a high-level executive position in one of the

for Jason Collins’ 2013 announcement. It provided a foundation that finally enabled Collins to also be true to himself.

big four U.S. team sports, it’s doubtful that the once seemingly

Rick Welts made a courageous decision to come out of the

impenetrable wall of homophobia in professional sports would

closet while working in one of our most homophobic industries,

be breached in such a significant way. After all, a player’s career

to stand up for his right to be a complete human being. And

is limited by age; a sports executive’s career can span fifty years

his desire that his story be used to help others come out, to

or more, carrying with it a much longer and stronger impact.

offer them courage and support has, according to his many

But Welts’ importance isn’t simply about eliminating

emails and now the public announcement of Jason Collins,

homophobia in sports. Remember that he is and always has

accomplished that. Hopefully, there will soon be a day when

been a consummate businessman in the sports industry — a

stories like Rick Welts’ and Jason Collins’ will no longer be

born marketer who always seems to know how to position the

shocking or even necessary because the mentions of homo-

league or team to gain the ultimate amount of positive exposure.

phobia in the sports world will come only from old sports

And of course, that positive exposure leads to making money.

trivia questions. SPRING 2013 I StandUp I 39


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Former Role Player to Play

STARRING ROLE IN


N

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JASON COLLINS was never the type of NBA player who would dazzle you with his statistics. He’s also unlikely to wow you with a spectacular athletic feat. He owns zero MVP trophies and no appearances in an NBA All-Star Game. And while all of that may be true, the humble 12-year NBA veteran has changed the game forever. Although he hasn’t possessed the fanfare of Michael Jordan or Shaquille O’Neal during his playing days, when it’s all said and done, his impact on professional sports may be just as profound as those two legends. That is due to the monumental decision he made on April 29, 2013. On that day, Collins revealed to the world that he was gay. Through an autobiographical essay in Sports Illustrated, Collins became the first openly gay athlete in one of the major four professional team sports in the country. In the Sports Illustrated piece Collins wrote, “I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay. “I didn't set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport. But since I am, I'm happy to start the conversation. I wish I wasn't the kid in the classroom raising his hand and saying, ‘I'm different.’ If I had my way, someone else would have already done this. Nobody has, which is why I'm raising my hand.” In one courageous act, Collins became the picture of progress in one of the most unlikely of environments. Traditionally, locker rooms in professional sports are renowned for being among the most macho of atmospheres. The average person probably wouldn’t be surprised to hear that an NBA locker room was ripe with homophobia. Contrastingly, one would be surprised to hear of the overwhelming support Collins received from his peers across the league. But an outpouring of respect is exactly what he received. Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant tweeted, “Proud of @jasoncollins34. Don’t suffocate who u r because of the ignorance of others.” He added the hashtags “courage” and “support” to his tweet. The NBA’s 2013 MVP, Miami’s LeBron James also praised Collins’ decision to come out. “I think it’s very noble on his part,” James told the Miami Herald. “I think it’s a strong thing to do, and I think as NBA players, we all offer him our support.” In fact, one would be hard-pressed to find much public disapproval for Collins’ decision, which is a reflection of how far the gay rights movement has progressed in recent years. But as future Hall of Fame guard Steve Nash told the press recently, there is a difference in what people say privately and

NBA player Jason Collins shares his coming out story with Oprah Winfrey during her recent interview with him and his family.

publicly. “Jason is going to make a huge impact on a lot of people, especially young people, not only to speak their minds but to come out,” Nash said. However, the two-time NBA MVP went on to say, “Of course detractors aren't going to say anything right now because no one wants to look like the jerk. I don't think it's fair to sit here and say it will be a walk in the park and he'll be everybody's best friend. But at the same time this is a really important

By Stefan Swiat

issue and a really important time and somebody has finally taken a role."

LGBT MOVEMENT


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It has been a long journey for Collins, who lived under a

larger game – and garnering a bevy of attention for it.

shroud of secrecy for quite some time. The 7-0, 255-pound

Although it wasn’t a role he actively sought out, it certainly

center’s birth even offered a surprise 34 years ago. After Jason

seems to suit him incredibly well. The well-spoken Stanford

was born, the doctor told his mother that there was a twin

graduate has always been well respected by teammates and

brother still waiting to enter the world. Eight minutes later,

opponents alike. Those who are familiar with Collins’ selfless

Jason’s younger brother Jarron was born.

attitude know that garnering attention was his last motivation

The two grew up together in Los Angeles, winning two

for coming out.

high school state championships along the way. The twins

For the seven-footer, his journey toward coming out began

excelled as student-athletes, both accepting full scholarships

when the NBA owners locked out the players during the summer

to attend the academically prestigious Stanford University. At

of 2011. Without a typical off-season training routine and no

Stanford, the Collins brothers propelled their team to an

NBA scheduled games in sight, Collins engaged in extensive

appearance in the Elite Eight at the NCAA Tournament as well

self-reflection.

as a run into the Final Four.

Up until that point, Collins had dated women. He was

Jason was considered a better pro prospect than his

even engaged once. Collins had convinced himself that he had

brother, demonstrated by his selection in the first round of the

to live a certain way while all along he knew he wanted some-

2001 NBA Draft. While Jason was drafted in the first round

thing else. But the time away from basketball began to allow

with the No. 18 pick, Jarron was chosen at No. 52 in the second

that introspection to take hold. Then circumstances in his life

round. Jason instantly created a reputation for himself in the

began to push him further. His former roommate at Stanford,

NBA as a solid defensive center for a New Jersey Nets team.

Massachusetts congressman Joe Kennedy told Collins that he

Those Nets squads would capture two Eastern Conference

had just marched in Boston’s Gay Pride Parade.

Championships and advance to two NBA Finals. And Jason was an integral part of those team successes.

The conversation lit a fire under Collins. “I'm seldom jealous of others, but hearing what Joe had done filled me with envy,”

In his 12 years in the NBA, Jason’s teams have advanced

Collins wrote in his Sports Illustrated essay. “I was proud of

to the playoffs nine times. His career averages of 3.6 points and

him for participating but angry that as a closeted gay man I

3.8 rebounds a game may not turn many heads, but Collins’

couldn't even cheer my straight friend on as a spectator. If I'd

gift as a player has been one of affecting the game with his

been questioned, I would have concocted half-truths. What a

intangible skills.

shame to have to lie at a celebration of pride. I want to do

A big, bruising player, Collins has earned a reputation for being tough and fearless. Not afraid to sacrifice his body on

the right thing and not hide anymore. I want to march for tolerance, acceptance and understanding.”

defense, Collins is known for his penchant for drawing offen-

So Collins began coming out to those close to him. When

sive fouls and frustrating opponents. He’s also known for

he told his brother, Jarron was shocked, claiming that he had

giving fouls. During the 2004-2005 season he led the entire

never had a clue. “We talked, he answered my questions,

NBA in personal fouls with 322.

I hugged him and I digested what he had told me,” Jarron

Every team needs players that think about the team before

recalled in his own essay for Sports Illustrated. “At the end of

their own interests. Those role players do the dirty work like

the day, this is what matters: he's my brother, he's a great guy,

set screens, commit fouls, dive on the floor for loose balls and

and I want him to be happy. I'll love him and I'll support him

make the extra pass. The stars get the attention while the role

and, if necessary, I'll protect him.

players get the satisfaction of a job well done.

“What does Jason want out of this? He wants to live his

But since his extraordinary announcement, that has

life. He wants a relationship, he wants a family, he wants to

changed for Collins. He’s playing a different role — one in a

settle down. He wants to move forward with his personal life

42 I StandUp I FALL 2012


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while maintaining his life as a professional basketball player. That's all, really.” Jason also received the support of his uncle who had come out years before as well as an aunt who had done the same. Both are living fulfilling, successful lives which served as an inspiration for Jason. In fact, when his aunt Teri, a superior court judge in San Francisco told Jason that she always knew that he was gay, he felt a tremendous weight off of his shoulders. “From that moment on I was comfortable in my own skin,” Jason wrote in SI. “In her presence I ignored my censor button for the first time. She gave me support. The relief I felt was a sweet release.” This past season Collins even took the step of donning the No. 98 in honor of Matthew Shepherd, a gay student who was brutally tortured and killed in 1998. The number possesses great symbolism in the LGBT community. Once the 2012-2013 season concluded, Collins decided not to wait any longer. He had always resisted going public with his announcement because he didn’t want any media attention to distract his team and teammates. But between the season ending and the recent Boston Marathon bombing that reminded Collins how life can change in an instant, he decided he couldn’t postpone coming out any longer. The tragedy in Boston reminded Collins that time was precious. He knew that he couldn’t waste another second of his life pretending to be something he wasn’t. If he wanted to truly be happy with himself, he knew he had to be honest with everyone around him. Most importantly, he had to be true to himself. “Openness may not completely disarm prejudice, but it's a good place to start,” Collins said in SI. “It all comes down to education. I'll sit down with any player who's uneasy about my coming out. Being gay is not a choice.” But coming out was a choice for Collins, and since making it, he has never felt better. “The most you can do is stand up for what you believe in,” Collins wrote. “I'm much happier since coming out to my friends and family. Being genuine and honest makes me happy.”

“I didn't set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport. But since I am,

I'm happy to start the conversation. I wish I wasn't the kid in the classroom raising his hand and saying, ‘I'm different.’ If I had my way, someone else would have already done this. Nobody has, which is why I'm raising my hand.”


MeaningfulPlay_Layout 1 6/6/13 7:23 AM Page 1

THE MOST

MEANINGFUL M


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L MEANINGLESS By Cyd Zeigler Jr. Photos by Scott Bruhn, Photographer University of Nebraska Athletics

PLAY

WHY NEBRASKA FOOTBALL RAN A 69-YARD TOUCHDOWN PLAY FOR 7-YEAR-OLD JACK HOFFMAN

TRADITIONAL SPRING FOOTBALL GAMES aren’t known for making headlines. Designed to showcase next season’s talent and give the team a bit more than a walk-through before finals and a short summer break, the games are well-orchestrated and virtually meaningless. Yet the red-and-white game one afternoon this April in Lincoln, Nebraska, was far from traditional. While it had the mandatory scripted plays, the requisite hardcore fans, and the Nebraska Cornhuskers divided into two teams lined up on opposite sides of the field, something special hung in the air. On the sideline was seven-year-old brain cancer patient Jack Hoffman. The Nebraska football team had practically adopted him in recent months. The team’s chapter of Uplifting Athletes, a national organization “aligning college football with rare diseases,” had made pediatric brain cancer the focus of their philanthropic efforts because of their relationship with Hoffman. On that bright day in April, the young boy was truly a part of the team. He suited up with the red team and, with minutes left in the game, he got his chance. It was fourth and short, late in the fourth quarter, ball on the red team’s 31-yard-line. During a normal game, this would have been punt territory. But this wasn’t a normal game, and the play the Huskers were about to run wasn’t a normal play. The stadium announcer called out Hoffman’s name, eliciting a wild cheer from the crowd of Husker faithful. Fullback C.J. Zimmerer, the president of Nebraska’s Uplifting Athletes chapter, led Hoffman, wearing No. 22, onto the field. Quarterback Taylor Martinez soon took the snap and handed the ball to Hoffman, 69 yards away from pay-dirt. “We were trying to get a sweep to the right, get all the linemen and running backs going that way,” Zimmerer said. The play had been drawn up by Martinez and fellow quarterback Joe Ganz just minutes before Hoffman took the field. “The last thing I told Jack was, ‘if it gets crazy out there just follow me.’” But as Zimmerer ran right to block for him, Hoffman ran left. “I was yelling, ‘no no, come this way,’” Zimmerer remembered. “You can’t blame the kid. I’m sure he was in shock being out there. But he recovered nicely.” Hoffman cut back right and followed his lead blocker. With a little help from the defense, No. 22 rounded the corner and bolted through a gap in the line. When he hit midfield he was at top speed, passing every white shirt, the crowd engaged in a ruckus cheer. 15…10…5…Touchdown! By the time he reached the end zone, the teams had already flooded onto the field from both sides. The referees threw no flags for 30 men on the field. Zimmerer was the first to reach Hoffman, lifting him up on his shoulders and celebrating in a sea of red and white. While there have been countless important touchdowns in Memorial Stadium over the years, none have ever been more important than this spring-game score.


MeaningfulPlay_Layout 1 6/6/13 7:23 AM Page 3

“I went to class and my internship, and people told me

“You see a kid in Jack’s situation, and you want him to

they’re so proud of the team and what we did,” Zimmerer said.

experience things he’d never get to,” Zimmerer said. “To be

“People were so proud of the team and the university because

able to let him have his moment, and let him have that for the

we showed it’s about more than winning and losing. It’s about

rest of his life, and for the people in the stands too, to show

the greater picture.”

them what it’s really about, and all the community events the

It wasn’t just the folks in Lincoln who were touched. On ESPN’s SportsCenter, the touchdown was named the top sports

team does, we have a pretty good understanding that there’s more to life than sports.”

play of the weekend. When it was matched up in the long-

The Nebraska football program has won 70 percet of its

running “Best of the Best” poll, it beat a 45-time defending

games over the course of its storied history. The Cornhuskers

champion play by South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon

have won five national championships and its players have

Clowney. As of the time of printing, Hoffman’s touchdown

earned three Heisman Awards.

remained the defending champion weeks after first taking the crown. The sports trading card company Upper Deck has even created a limited-edition trading card of Hoffman that it will use for charitable purposes.

Yet no victory has rightfully earned the school the respect and admiration of sports fans and non-sports fans alike the way the execution of a 7-year-old’s 69-yard touchdown run did in April. “It’s just an awesome feeling to know that a play that’s not

Others are already following the Huskers’ lead. Two weeks

about winning or losing, but what life’s really about, people

after Hoffman’s big play, East Carolina University provided the

really took to heart,” Zimmerer said. “Everyone in the world

same thrill for 8-year-old Noah Roberts, as the young man with

can relate to that. Everybody really felt a part of it whether they

neurofibromatosis, which results in brain tumors, ran the foot-

were there or not.”

ball for a 40-yard score in the Pirates’ spring football game. The Nebraska football team was originally introduced to Hoffman by Rex Burkhead, a running back at Nebraska who was selected by the Cincinnati Bengals in the sixth round of the 2013 NFL Draft. The No. 22 that Hoffman wore in the game was Burkhead’s number. For Zimmerer, a senior from Omaha, the moment was an example of the power of sports and the duty athletes have to lift up others less fortunate than they.

46 I StandUp I SPRING 2013

“WE SHOWED IT’S ABOUT MORE THAN WINNING AND LOSING. IT’S ABOUT THE GREATER PICTURE.”


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$1,000,000 All-star forward from the Oklahoma City Thunder Kevin Durant donated $1 million to the American Red Cross to assist with disaster relief efforts in the wake of a tornado that swept through Oklahoma last month. Following his lead, the team, the NBA and the National Basketball Players Association also pledged $1 million in support.

UP2US The first national nonprofit coalition to unite grassroots youth development programs that use sports and physical activity as primary tools for positive youth development.


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“I Never Had A Second Thought” Cameron Lyle, a shot put star on the University of New Hampshire track and field team cut his season and potentially his collegiate athletic career short to donate his bone marrow to a stranger. As the only match on a national registry of potential donors, Lyle never had a second thought about donating because if he said no, that perfect stranger wouldn’t have had a match.

10

Years Good Sports, a Massachusetts-based nonprofit dedicated to partnering with manufacturers to provide youth with sporting goods, celebrates the donation of $8.8 million in sports and fitness equipment over 10 years, as well as more than a half-million kids outfitted for physical activity.

BOSTON STRONG Thousands of athletes joined victims of the Boston Marathon bombings to run and walk the last mile of this year's race on May 25, reclaiming the triumph of crossing the finish line.


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R Family Vacations Celebrates 10 Years of Having Fun

Nine years ago best friends Gregg Kaminsky and Kelli Carpenter agreed that there was a growing LGBT vacation market and decided to launch R Family Vacations. Now celebrating their tenth anniversary season they are, as Gregg says “helping LGBT individuals and families realize their dreams” for an LGBT-specific vacation. He also says that their straight friends and family members are always welcome, too. R Family Vacations is the most inclusive international company offering vacations that are designed specifically for the gay community. Gregg and Kelli decided to launch the fun that is R Family Vacations in 2003. But these business partners weren’t novices. Gregg had worked in the travel industry for 16 years. Formerly the vice president of Atlantis Events, the world’s largest gay tour operator, he created specialty vacations in Mexico, the Caribbean, Africa, Australia, Europe and the U.S. While growing up, Kelli had sailed on annual cruises with her family. And with an extensive marketing background working for the likes of Pepsi and Nickelodeon, her strengths were a great match for Gregg’s. In fact, Kelli’s family was featured in HBO’s “All Aboard” and, as one of the producers she was nominated for an Emmy. So what does R Family Vacations offer? In addition to their core concept of family vacations, they also offer international adults-only adventures for gay men and women traveling together, and their latest, The Broadway Cruise featuring lots of Broadway performers in a laidback atmosphere, is now in its second season. The company also offers active family summer camp experiences; this season there is one on the East Coast in Connecticut and another on the West Coast in central California near Yosemite. Over 18,000 people have traveled with them over the last nine years so they’re obviously doing lots of things right. With a high number of repeat vacationers, they’re always on the lookout for unique ways to improve their vacations and keep the experiences fresh. While there have always been parents who are gay, there is an actual gay baby-boom going on that Kelli and Gregg anticipated when they launched the business. There are now many more gay couples who are choosing to become parents. And the good news is that R Family Vacations has lots of wonderful family adventures ready for these families to enjoy.

For more details on R Family Vacations or to see their 2013 schedule of cruises and events, go to their website at www.rfamilyvacations.com.


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COLLEGELIFE

By Shane L. Windmeyer

I Belong to the Team

CAMPUS PRIDE’S OUT TO PLAY PROJECT is designed to address anti-LGBT slurs, bias and conduct in college sports. Its second resource is the 2012 LGBTQ National College Athlete Report that shares personal stories of almost 400 self-identified LGBT athletes. It is only through learning about their experiences and sharing them that we are able to provide necessary resources to further progress on LGBT issues in college athletics. Here is the story of one of our Featured Champions. JASON MAGNES, MEN’S TENNIS, UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA Going into my freshman year at the University of Pennsylvania, I knew I wanted to take advantage of the campus' overwhelmingly LGBT-friendly community and resources. I immediately visited the Penn LGBT Center during orientation, anonymously joined “Penn Athletes & Allies Tackling Homophobia,” and established myself as openly gay in my social life for the very first time. Less clear to me was how to express my sexual identity in another important realm of my life, the tennis team. I chose inaction as my short-term solution and kept these two facets of my life — social and athletic — completely separate. My stance shifted slightly when, toward the end of my first semester, a prominent activist within the Penn LGBT Community brought a very important point to my attention – mainly that I had a certain responsibility and opportunity as one of few openly gay college athletes to openly assert my sexuality, both to my team

I have taken it upon myself to do everything in my power to bridge this gap of unfamiliarity by simply breaking the ice and getting the conversation started. 52 I StandUp I SPRING 2013

and to the athletic community at large. Although his words didn't seem to have much immediate impact on my decision to come out to my team, I think deep down I knew he was right. After the semester was over I made a slightly impulsive decision to come out on Facebook by changing my “interested in” status to “men.” Although my primary goal in doing this was to avoid the emotionally draining process of having to come out to each person in my life individually, the action also had the unplanned consequence of informing everyone on my team of my previously concealed homosexuality. When I returned to campus after winter break, there was somewhat of a “big gay elephant” in the room whenever I was at tennis practice. The stalemate went on for a few weeks with neither my teammates or me willing to break the ice on the subject. Finally, one day at practice during a doubles practice set, my senior captain took it upon himself to do just that. “Run, faggot, run,” he bellowed at me, urging me to track down a drop-shot our opponents had hit. After a moment of complete shock and awe, my teammates and I tentatively smiled at one another and then collectively burst out laughing, all of the tension and uncertainty surrounding the issue dwindling with each subsequent heave. Virtually overnight, the team climate surrounding my homosexuality transformed. No longer was it this taboo topic to be avoided. Instead, it became a source of friendly teasing, an opportunity for education, and even a catalyst for advice-giving. Despite my fears, being out not only helped me foster closer relationships with my teammates but it also allowed me to perform at my highest level on the court. Although this accepting climate on my team has remained a constant throughout my years at Penn, it is important to note that attitudes toward homosexuality within the athletic community vary from team-to-team. In the spring of my sophomore year I became the chairman and public face of PATH (Penn's Athletes & Allies Tackling Homophobia). I was embracing my responsibility as both a role


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model and advocate for fellow LGBT athletes. I had also fallen in love for the first time in my life. A little more than a year into our relationship, my boyfriend and I were at radically different stages regarding our comfort level with being out. One night, while walking home from a party hand-in-hand (at my insistence), we were confronted by a male varsity athlete at Penn. “Faggots,” he snarled at us drunkenly. Aggressive shoving ensued. One of his teammates joined the altercation and yelled, “You deserved it because you’re faggots.” Finally, the police arrived to break everything up. Looking back, I find it ironic how the same exact word uttered by a straight male athlete can have such radically different effects depending on the speaker’s intention. In the aftermath of the “incident,” no disciplinary action was taken against the individuals. Still, athletic administrators were well aware that something had to be done. Rather than punish the team, they decided to have

a former Penn athlete speak to the entire team about the importance of tolerance and respect. We, as human beings, have been conditioned to fear that which is different from and foreign to us. With this sentiment in mind, I have taken it upon myself to do everything in my power to bridge this gap of unfamiliarity by simply breaking the ice and getting the conversation started. Whether by bringing in prominent straight athlete allies to talk to varsity athletes at Penn or getting teams to sign a Team Respect Pledge, I believe that breaking the silence on this issue is the only way to overcome the rampant homophobia that has long plagued the athletic community. If it worked on my team, then why can’t it work with others? A special thank you to Cyd Ziegler Jr. from OutSports.com for compiling the “Featured Champions” as part of the Campus Pride Out To Play Project.

PHOTO © JJ TIZIOU

SPRING 2013 I StandUp I 53


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POLITICS

By Troup B. Coronado, Esq.

Playing OUT Why Professional Sports are Vital to Advancing LGBT Civil Rights

ON MARCH 26 AND 27, 2013, the U.S. Supreme Court heard oral arguments in cases challenging the constitutionality of the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and California's Proposition 8. Due to far-reaching implications for federally mandated benefits for same-sex spouses, legal experts have compared the impending decisions to landmark rulings delivered in Roe v. Wade and Brown v. Board of Education. It is expected that decisions in both cases will be handed down in late June, making this arguably the most pivotal time in the history of LGBT civil rights. As a passionate and committed advocate for equality, I’ve been fortunate to work and volunteer on the frontlines of the LGBT civil rights movement for many years. Our community has grown by leaps and bounds during this time — and we’ve made progress on a wide range of increasingly important policy issues, including domestic partnership benefits, same-sex adoption, federal hate crimes legislation, workplace discrimination, and marriage equality. While our policy agenda has evolved, we’ve also worked to increase visibility, understanding, and acceptance of LGBT people. This often plays itself out in popular culture through positive portrayals of LGBT characters in television and film, as well as a growing number of openly lesbian and gay celebrities and entertainers. In government, we’ve witnessed openly LGBT candidates win election to federal, state, and local office throughout the country.

Jason Collins created a ripple effect, initiating a grassroots dialogue about openness and inclusion in sports amongst athletes, coaches, parents and fans at every level of competition. 54 I StandUp I SPRING 2013

The newest frontier for LGBT equality is professional sports. On April 29, 2013 NBA player Jason Collins changed sports culture in the U.S. forever by announcing that he is gay. He is the first openly gay male athlete currently playing in one of America’s big four professional sports leagues (NFL, NBA, MLB, and NHL). Due to the visibility and popularity of men’s professional team sports in the U.S., Jason Collins’ announcement has already had an unprecedented impact. From inner-city basketball courts to rural baseball fields, Collins’ story has been repeated and discussed countless times. He created a ripple effect, initiating a grassroots dialogue about openness and inclusion in sports amongst athletes, coaches, parents and fans at every level of competition. Collins’ inspirational message to LGBT athletes and allies is an important one – always to be true to yourself while remaining committed to your athletic pursuits. Jason Collins’ coming out also began to create space for informed conversations about sexuality with those who have little or no personal connection with the LGBT community. As much as our world has changed, the majority of key decision-makers in government and corporate America are still relatively conservative white men over fifty. For people with differing political views and professional responsibilities, sport is a powerful common denominator. Professional sports and the escalating dialogue started by Jason Collins provide us with a meaningful platform to increase awareness and education about issues of sexuality and gender identity. Whether on the playing field or cheering from the sidelines, sports help us learn how to overcome individual differences in pursuit of shared goals. That kind of progress in the movement for LGBT equality is worth celebrating. Troup B. Coronado, Esq. is the founder/president of TROUP, a Los Angeles-based corporate strategy and communications firm. TROUP specializes in the LGBT and Latino markets. He is a member of the Media Out Loud Global Advisory Board.


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By Scott “Babydaddy” Hoffman

POPCULTURE

Being True to Your Artistic Vision

A POPULAR SAYING IN RECENT YEARS, at least in reference to pop culture claims that credibility is dead. Meaning that the idea of staying true to an artistic vision, free from the external pressures of fame, fortune or power is impossible, or even unnecessary in an age where a fan now may find excitement in his or her favorite artist’s collaboration with a popular brand or another pop star, whereas only a few years before that fan might have felt indifference or even contempt. It seems funny to me that this death of credibility is based on the public’s perception of an artist’s behavior. The idea of credibility, taught to me by an unwritten but often-discussed credo in popular music when I was younger, rarely seemed to take into account the public’s appetite. The simple manifesto was this: be true to yourself and the true fans will buy into it. The ones who didn’t were not worth undue convincing. If a singer or band happened into that lucky confluence of honesty and commercial success, perhaps it was the ultimate pay-off for their dedication to a vision. Indeed, from the very beginning of my career in pop music, all the members of Scissor Sisters were barraged with questions around what it meant to stay true to ourselves. I see some current artists rejecting the pressures of financial stability and spending extravagant sums in the name of their craft. This to me is neither socially responsible nor positive to the greater artistic community who may feel pressured onto this endless treadmill. Others run a frugal business and stay focused on their craft in the name of longevity only to find that it oftentimes provides diminishing returns.

To me, the real idea of staying true to a vision involves traversing that rocky path of credibility in the face of commercial pressures.

As with many things in life, I think the idea of staying true to your art is not a black and white, set-in-stone set of commandments but instead is a constant negotiation that begins internally, extends then to collaborators, business associates and advisors (be they professional or part of a closer circle of friends, family and supporters), and then finally to the public. This final equation presents so many variables and uncertainties that any sort of manifesto quickly becomes irrelevant, leading either to a harsh refusal to break from form and the inevitable loss of a potential audience or a break from this manifesto altogether in the name of survival — and with it a break from the ever-important idea of relevance to current times. As a band we had to traverse a mountainous path, beginning with less-than-modest club performances and literally, a homemade album, all the while moving into our future pretending that we, as artists were the unchanged, unflinching bearers of that original motivation. But we early-on signed a worldwide record deal, an attempt to bring our music to a greater audience but also an action that was in and of itself a commitment to bringing financial value to these new owners of our repertoire. In fact, few artists are able to live in a vacuum. Those life experiences which threatened to change our direction inevitably did — often for the better but sometimes not – as all of these things amounted to growth and learning. After all, creative output is little more than a reflection of the life that creates it. To me, the real idea of staying true to a vision involves traversing that rocky path of credibility in the face of commercial pressures. Perhaps credibility is very much alive; it’s simply one of many voices begging to be heard, questioned and ideally, to be respected. Scott “Babydaddy” Hoffman is a co-founder and member of the musical group, Scissor Sisters.

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RESEARCH

By Brian Patrick

Research on LGBT Students in School Athletics

A

RECENT STUDY BY GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network, examined the impact school-based athletics has on middle and high school LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) students. The findings showed that while participation in school athletics can benefit these students to a great degree, this is also the area where they are often faced with harassment, assault and discrimination that negatively impacts their participation. The GLSEN research brief, The Experiences of LGBT Students in School Athletics, took an in-depth look at the experiences of LGBT student-athletes and included responses from 8,584 secondary school students between the ages of 13 to 20. The respondents came from all 50 states and the District of Columbia and represented 3,224 unique school districts. According to Dr. Eliza Byard, GLSEN’s Executive Director, this groundbreaking research has included practically every aspect of LGBT students’ school life experiences and its findings have demonstrated that there are concrete benefits that school athletics can provide these students. But she also said that “We have also found critical gaps of safety and support that highlight the need for coaches, P.E. teachers and athletic directors to take action to ensure that school gymnasiums, playing fields

We have also found critical gaps of safety and support that highlight the need for coaches, P.E. teachers and athletic directors to take action to ensure that school gymnasiums, playing fields and locker rooms are safe, inclusive and respectful places for all students. 56 I StandUp I SPRING 2013

and locker rooms are safe, inclusive and respectful places for all students.” There are four key concerns that have been uncovered by this research: 1. Physical education classes were unsafe environments for many LGBT students. 2. LGBT students may be underrepresented on extracurricular sports teams. 3. Many LGBT students experienced discrimination and harassment in school sports. 4. LGBT student-athletes may not be fully supported by school athletics staff and policies. Since LGBT student-athletes show better academic and mental health outcomes, it raises to an even higher level the concerns about their exclusion from these activities. Listed below is the supporting evidence this study revealed: • While 23.2 percent of LGBT students participated in interscholastic sports and 13.4 percent participated in intramural sports team, nevertheless LGBT students were about half as likely to play interscholastic sports as their non-LGBT peers — 23.2 percent versus 47.8 percent. • LGBT student-athletes reported higher GPAs (grade point averages) as team members (3.2 percent) and team leaders (3.4 percent) compared to non-athletes (3.0 percent). LGBT student-athletes were also more likely to report higher selfesteem and a feeling of belonging to their school. • Over 25 percent of LGBT student-athletes reported they had been harassed or assaulted while playing on a school sports team due to their sexual orientation (27.8 percent) or gender expression (29.4 percent). • More than half of LGBT students who took a physical education class reported being bullied or harassed during the class due to their sexual orientation (52.8 percent) or gender expression (50.9 percent). • LGBT students commonly avoided their schools’ athletic spaces, including locker rooms (39.0 percent), P.E. classes (32.5


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percent), and school athletic fields and facilities (22.8 percent) due to feelings of being uncomfortable or even unsafe. • A large majority (74.9 percent) of LGBT students said they were uncomfortable talking to their P.E. teachers or coaches about LGBT issues. Those LBGT students who did have a comfort level talking to these school professionals experienced less discomfort, harassment and assault in athletics than did their uncomfortable peers.

GLSEN’s 2011 program to provide resources to educators, parents and student-athletes, Changing the Game: The GLSEN Sports Project, offers a variety of strategies and resources for P.E. teachers and coaches to incorporate into their school athletic programs. For more information, please visit their website: http://www.glsen.org

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SUCCESS

By Michael Losier

How to Stay In Integrity In Your Personal and Professional Life

WHEN YOU HEAR SOMEONE DESCRIBED AS HAVING INTEGRITY, what comes to your mind? Does it mean this person is honest? Trustworthy? Dependable? What about someone who has the reputation as someone who is not in integrity? Each of these scenarios has a serious reputation. Can you bring to your mind someone you know who fits into one of these scenarios? In which scenario do you include yourself? What are you doing as a leader, team member, employee, partner or parent to earn the reputation as having integrity? I'm proud to say that when I hear others tell me they appreciate my integrity during a seminar, I know what they mean. I am deliberate about maintaining my reputation as someone having integrity. I have personal guidelines that I follow to remind me to stay in integrity. Three Agreements to Myself INTEGRITY 1. I say YES, when I mean yes. 2. I say NO, when I mean no. 3. I always do what I say I'm going to do.

Listen to your inner voice or pay attention to that gut-feeling which, by the way, is your own voice telling you whether what you just agreed to feels good or not.

How to put the Three Agreements to Myself into action in your life: 1. I say YES when I mean yes. • When you say yes, you are making a commitment. Maintaining your commitment with others builds trust and rapport with them. • If you say yes, however, and you break your commitment, trust and rapport are broken. It can take a long time to build rapport, once broken. 2. I say NO when I mean no. • It's alright to say NO. It's mandatory. Saying no to something means you are clean and understand what you DO want. It's alright to say no. • When you say no, you are telling others what your boundaries are. People will treat you the way you allow them to. It's alright to say no. 3. Do What You Say You Are Going to Do. • People remember. People remember if you did what you said you were going to do. Whether you did it or not, they will remember. • So when you say you will do it and it feels or looks like you can't, ask for help. Do what you need to do to get it done. Over the next few days you will have an opportunity to explore how and where you are with these three agreements. You may catch yourself agreeing to something that you really don't want to. Listen to your inner voice or pay attention to that gut-feeling which, by the way, is your own voice telling you whether what you just agreed to feels good or not. You can always tell. You can always tell by the way you feel. What can you do today, to be more in integrity with yourself and others? Michael Losier is an international speaker and best-selling author on the Law of Attraction.

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