1915 Yearbook

GILLILAND'S DRUG STO-RE Try our Sundaes and Ice Cream Sodas made from pure fruit flavors_and served from a Sanitary . Fountain "QUALITY AN _D SERVICE" IS OUR MOTTO NITTANY INN BLOCK

STATE, COLL.EGE. PA. •

C. E. HENRY

YOU SHOULD

Architect and Builder

Worrv'

Eat at

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Concrete Building Blocks Brick and Trimmings

508 West Beaver Avenue State College, Pa.

STATE CENTRE ELECTRIC CO. EVE~RYTHING

THE

HOME

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OVER KRUM RIN E'S DRUG STORE

J. H. 1-IOUSER CONTRACTOR: PAINTING

R ecord poor-feeling punk, Batty calls- gets a flunk.

. HIGH GRADE COAL STATE COLLEGE FUEL & SUPPLY

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THE FIRST Ni\TIONAL BANI( STATE COLLEGE, PA. W. L . FOSTER, President D. F. KAPP, Cashier

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GRAY

Ages _falay ~ass.

(F.irst

Pn~re

Story $2 oo.)

I am sitting beneath the shade of a large apple tree, while the cool May breezes are fanning my. cheeks, and the birds are singing in the trees. .Before me, a ten_nis cour-t is being _m ade, and this morning, while the ground .was being dug up, a large flat sto.ne was struck.

When this was lifted pp, it.disclosed a large well, . lined with stones, and with about twenty-five feet of water in it. A few inches above the surface ofthe water, the hand of a skeleton was wedged tightiy between ·the rocks, and when the skeleton was brought to the top, the face had that square and prominent cheek-bone so ch·uacteristic of the Indian race. -Slowly the ·present fades into deep oblivion and visions of the past come before my eyes.

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The Alleghenies were a tribe of indians, wh·o had forme·r]y been a part of the Mohawks, but who had wandered south, finally settling in Central Pennsylvania. Wi thin forty miles of them lived the Monongahelas, their hated rivals and enemies.

Among the Alleghenies, the strongest and boldest was a .young brave named Onawega. ·He .had by. these qualities won the love ·of Pocodola, an Ind_ian princess, and the slight approval of Chief Susquehanna, Pocodola's father. But he had also incurred the hatred of three other braves, who .were jealous of the princess' love. Ohe of the rivals resembled Onawega, having been taken for him several times. It was .decided an1ong them that. Onawega must somehow forfeit Pocodola'.s love. · ·At last they determined that one of them should so disguise himself_as to resemble a Monongahela· messenger.

Kaunas, the one who looked like Onawega, should meet him on a moonlight night, while Caucas, th e remaining brave, should bring the Chief and accidently view the meeting from a place of concealment.

MAROON AND GRAY

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The plans worked to perfection, and the Chief, upon seeing one of his braves who liked Onawego, conversing with a Monongahela spy, was about to send an arrow through the traitor's heart, had not Caucas whispered that it would be better to wait and defeat the enemy's plans in secret. Chief Susquehanna, seeing the wisdom of this, assented, but the next day caused the arrest a11d trial of Onawega.

Onawega denied the charge, and this so angered the Chief that he swore Onawega would d1e the most torturous death a brave had ever undergone. Under his personal supervision, a large round hole was dug about fifty feet deep, and then lined with stones and other material to make it non-leakable. Twenty-five feet of water was poured in and Onawega was then shoved into the well. A large stone was put over the opening and this then covered with ground. The princess Pocodola died three days later, but it was not until the ninth day that Onawega's cries :grew fainter, and. were heard no longer on the tenth day. The treacherous Allegheny Indians had had their revenge.

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Slowly the past fades, the present is again before me, and I find that the May breezes are still fanning my cheeks and the birds are still singing in the trees.

STEWARD WYKOFF,' 16.

il~ligqtful

ilniugs nf 1llnt.

(Second Prize Story $I. oo.)

It was路in the fall of the year and a very severe winter was proph-

esied. Already, the cold winds were tearing up and down the valley and the birds were flying southward in immense flocks.

Dorthea Roland also wished to go south. She had an intense desire to pass the wi.nter with her aunt in a little village in the southern part of Maryland; but her aunt wasn't the main attraction. It was--oh ! well, it do'esn't matter what it was, for it was very evident that she couldn't go. Her father was not in very good pecuniary circumstances and so he couldn't afford to pay her expenses from northern Pennsylvania to southern Maryland. So Dorthea resignedly did the chores around the house and helped her father with what little bit of farm work he had to do. She lived out-of-doors nearly all the time, and could never be found in the house if it was possible for her to be out.

One afternoon Dorthea was sent to town on an errand, Imagine how happy she was to find a letter in the post-office for her. It was from Denton, Maryland, too. She put it into her pocket until she was again driving through the country on her way home. Then she began to read it eagerly. It began: Mv DEAR DoTI can hardly make my pen go fast enough. I havl':' some. thing tizagnificent to tell you. You have three guesses. Oh ! 路 but 路you 路never could 1guess in all the wo"rld, so I'll have to tell you. Dad bought a touring car and on Saturday I am---

!l'fAROON AND GRAY

57

Just then the horse gave a start and as Dot looked up the letter was carried from her grasp by a sharp gust of wind.

She stopped the horse and raced after the fluttering piece of paper, hut all in vain.

It seemed to tantalize her by just keeping a little distance ahead, but out of her reach. However, she was determined to get it, for she hadn't yet found out what the good news was. The latter raced on and on and so did Dot. At last, it had gained so much and she was so terribly out of breath, that she was obl1ged to give up. The race had been over fields and through woods until now Dorthea looked about and discovered that she was at least half a mile from the road.

She sat down on a stump and cried awhile and then started toward the road. She stumbled along half blindly trying to imagine what the rest of the letter could possibly be. It had said something about Saturday and this was Thursday. She wondered whether路 -but no, it couldn't possibly be, for Denton was too far away. It seemed like a million miles to her.

Pondering over these things, Dot reached the road before she noticed that the horse and buggy were no longer there. She scanned the road in both directions but not a living thing was in sight. It was beginning to grow dusk, so she decided that the only thing to do was to start to walk home. The horse. had probably grown tired of waiting and was so anxious for his supper that he had gone home.

It was after dark when Dot arrived but she had enjoyed the walk much more than she would have enjoyed the drive. Her parents had begun to worry about her although they had become used to her 路 strange ways.

The next day was agony for Dot. Every hour increased her curiosity about that letter and her regrets that she had not held it more carefully. She went to town again and mailed an answer, telling of her misfortune and asking a repetition of the mag1tijicent surprise.

On Saturday she was her old self again anrl made her home brighter with her singing and her laughing. There was to be a 路festival at the Cross-roads Church that night and a country dance at Sullivan's afterwards. One of her neighbors, Henry Jean, had asked whether he might call for her. She consented. Accordingly, the afternoon was spent in making over an old dress, something which Dot seldom thought about until shortly before she needed it. About the middle of the afternoon she went down to Gregg's store to see Mary Gregg's new things and h elp admire them. Mary was going with Henry's brother that evening and so they talked it over for awhile, as girls generally do. Finally, she started home at five o'clock and went gaily skipping down the road, for the distance between the two homes was only the equivale nt of several squares.

She had scarcely started when she beard the whirr of a smoothl y running engine at the top of the hill. Not desiring to be in the immediate vicinity of the dust it would probably raise, she elimbed to the path on the bank at the side of the road.

The car rushed past and it certainly was a beauty. It was brand new and shown and glistE:ned like a meteor. Dot was very much

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MAROON AND GRAY

surprised to see it suddenly stop a short distance ahead of her. There was a young man jumping out, too. He was young and how strange that he was rnnning toward her. She unconsciously started to smooth out her hair, when suddenly--''0, joy r ! ! "!'he screamed and ran right into his arms. A fter awhile a whisper came fro111 somewhere in the depths, "Oh! Rod, I knew you'd come." And nobody saw Dot at the festival.

RUTH E. WINTER, '15.

(Continued .from tile last issue.)

Another day d.1wned. They made another raid on the cocoanut trees for their breakfast. They, feeling refre:<hed by their sleep and food, set out to explore the island and learn by what people it was inhabited.

They fonnd the. isla11d had been formf'rl by a volcano, whose crater extended up路 into the clouds. Thty went on discovering many peculiar things, the most important of which was a little rill, tumbling rlown the side of the volcano. This gave them courag-e for two reasons. First, because they \vould not :1ave to depend on路 the cocoanut for drinks; second, bec~use the volcano must be extinct, for if it were not, water would not be found along its sides.

Another thing of importance which they discovered was the bread-fruit. Now if they only had a fire they would have a new kind of food, for Olison, who had been in the Fiji Islancls, three years previous, pronounced them esculent. They first thought of the Indian methods of building a fire and immedi ately set out to see if suitable material could be found . They had not gone far before Allen cried ont, "I have it! I can build a fire, get some dry leaves or grass.'' 路 Olison and Miss Austin gave him a half frightened look for they thought him crazy. Then they saw ~hat he had su111e sort of an instrument in his hand and they both asked, "How can you do it?" ''How," he cried, ''I have a fuse from one of my surviving instruments, and if we can find some dry grass we will have a fire."

This was easily found and soon they had a bright fire burning.

Several of the bread-fruit were then gathered and placed in the coals.

The next question was how were they to eat them. This was quickly answered by OJ:son,路 who immediately hastened to the shore and brought back with him several sea shells. These he said were spoons. When the fruits were done, he took them out of the fire, broke the top, and they were ready to eat. The fleshy part could easily be pealed out and eaten with the aid of the shells.

Having finished their meal, th ey were now confronted by another night. They decided to stay by the rill. This time they had time to prepare for night. Dried grass was collected and a bed made for Miss Austin under a shelving rock, which they had found during their search for fire wood.

:MAROON

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59

The night passed after the same manner as the previous one. At break of day Olison went down to the row of cocoanut trees after food for their breakfast. After he had reached the top of a high tree and had shaken off all the nuts he wished, he looked out over the sea. From his perch he was able to see many miles out. Presently he caug·ht sight of a moving ship. He watched it for a few moments and discovered that it was coming directly towards their shores.

Then, with a strong voice, he sent the goodnews to his companions.

They came rushing down to him and stood by the water's edge. He descended from his outlook and we nt down to them .

The ship continued in its course until it was within about a mile from the shores, then turned to the right and sailed 011. The ti·io ran to the shore, yelled and waved their a'rms. Allen stripped off his · coat and waved it. The ship did not heed them. They ceased their efforts and watched it sail 011.

Presently, a whistle was blown. They again repeated their signals. Soon the ship came to a sta nd still. A boat was put over the side and started toward the island.

After what seemed ages to the three, the boat touched the shore.

They stepped aboard and were carried out to the waiting ship. Here they are received with q '1estioning looks, for the tourists who had discovered them, had hard work to ronvince the captain that there could be am·one on the island. He said that the island was uninhabited, and had hee n, ever since he began to travel the sea. But at last with the aid of a ~trong telescope he was able to see them, Then he immediately sent the boat to their aid.

This ship, after twenty-fcur hours sailing land ed the three at Honolulu. On landing, th ey were informed that they could obtain passage to San Dieg o on a boat wh ich sailed from Honolulu at twelve o'clock. They immediately engaged state-rooms and went aboard.

That afternoon, ·the three stood on the deck talking about their recent adventures, when they were startled by the cry, "Legrand . Allen." They turned quickly and saw a woman running towards them. Allen rushed to m eet her and caught her in his arms. Presently he turned and led the lady back to meet his two astonished friends.

While they were on their jouruey to America, great were the rejoicings and stories told of adventures in the South Seas.

Au 3)ubian itnmaure.

Among tne great mountain s of tile far west is the beautiful mountain of Kem-aw, at the foot of which was at one time a little Indian village called Conestoga.

On ascending the path of this mountain, one might look down on this little village and see the peaceful smoke rising here and there among the variot.:s huts.

There lived in thie village an Indian maiden wh9se name was Wastena. She was a maid most beautiful to behold and was loved

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MAROON AND GRAY

by all who knew her for her gentleness and lovable natnre. Among her admirers, the most true was Alois, the son of Black Hawk. He was a bold and gallant youth and won honor from his clan for his utmost bravery which he displayed in battle.

He was mentioned everywhere in that village as an example 路for the rising generation of young warriors.

This village had long been at peace with the neighboring tribes and, being hemmed in on almost every side by mountains rich in game, they continued to live contentedly and prosperously. But war was to come soon. The tribes just over the mon ntain to the west had often tried to gain access to the valley for pillaging, but fortunately, they were always noticed in time to be warded off by the best warriors 路 of the enclosed tribe.

Peace reigned in the village as the sun sank in a delicate shroud behind the crest of the impending mountain. The squaws were busily engaged around a large pot of game while their husbands were still on t~1e lookout and had not yet returned, having been gone since sunnse.

Very shortly a form was seen rushing with great speed down the winding path towards the village. The eager faces all turned to the approaching figure. As he came nearer and nearer he was recognized

by Wastena. It was A lois. What had happened? Having reached his people, he dismounted his steed and came forward to relate the news to the tribe. A combat was being held between the tribes on the mountain. Both sides were fighting desperately.

Alois must return at once to offer up his services for his people. At that moment, bidding his friends a fond farewell, he departed up the long path toward the summit.

The combat raged for almost a day. Many had been wounded and killed. Among the wounded was Alois. He had received an ugly wound, and, unable to bear the pain longer, he fell utterly prostrate on the ground . He was carried to a neighboring- thicket where it would be safer until he could be taken home. No news of the fighting had come to the villagers since its beginning. How eager they were to hear of the happenings and the safety of their loved one.

How broken-hearted must have been Wastena, 'since the sudden rleparture of her lover, possibly never to return. All the women were in a turmoil of anxious expectation.

As the evening faded away, a shrill cry was heard. It was followed by loud whooping and yelling. This was the triumphant cry of the Indian villagers. They were victorious! Entering their Conestoga they distributed thea wounded for the proper care. The bright, happy face of A lois beaming with joy, although now and then it was saddened by the throb of pain. He was in the care of a patient and trusty nurse, his sweetheart.

Under her gentle care and sunny smiles, her patient recovered gradually day by day. But, as he grew in strength, his love for Wasterra became greater. He must have her for his very own, forever, but she could not accept him without her father's consent. He had

MAROON AND GRAY

61

always looked upon Alois with jealous eye and with a determination to have him killed.

Later in the evening, through the <'lim light ~t the fire, a familiar form was seen approaching. It was the form of vVastena's father.

Coming near to the side of Alois, he extended his hand sa) ing-, "Aiois, I am an old man and have fought many battles, but never did I see such bravery as you have shown in this combat. To show my respect for. your gallantry, I give to you the hand of my daughter."

That night, a great celebration was held in the village in honor of the victory. Alois was proclaimed the bravest of his tribe and the winner of the most beautiful Indian maiden.

J. M. '17.

The past has turned f10m us and fled ; But thought still stays, though action dead, Of how we stood or how we fell, Or what is yet for time to tell.

The future looms from far away ; But what it holds we cannot say, For it is ruled by Him on high, Who has control of earth and sky.

The present is our very ownIn it we may for past atone, By some kind deed or act of grace, Then look the future in the face.

We know not what, but come what may, We stand in wait and will repay To anyone who holds a claim And ti1ereby rise to higher fame.

POE'l'

LARIOT,

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Q!:lass i\nll.

EDNA MAGDALENA BITTNER. "Ed" Edna entered our class at the beginning of the Junior year, from the Beech Creek High School. She has made many acquaintances, nne of which is especially familiar to us all. ''Ed" expects to enter Penn State next year, and take the Home Economics course, in preparation for a position already in view. We wish her the greatest success.

ROGER BOWMAN, JR. "Rog" "Bow" High School Orchestra, 1, 2, 3, 4.

Manager of Baseball 1915.

Track Team 1915.

Razzell Club.

This !.all, dark-haired boy is some musician. His greatest failing is his untiring search for the fair sex. "Rog" receives great volumes of ,literature from a place supposedly near to Williamsport. Bowman is a great fisherman, but the only thing he ever caught was a cold.

He was a member of our first track team and he is some runner.

"Bow'·' has a host of friends and his unfailing good humor and geniality will win hi111 many more in the future. Here's luck to you, Bowman.

ETHEL JANE DETWILER. "Lizzie" "Midget" In our Sophomore year Ethel came to us from Rebersburg High School. '·Midget" is opposed to Woman's Suffrage. She seldom makes mistakes, but once in her life she pulled a "Boner." Although she has successfully completed the course, she lik es the High School so well t!1at she expects to take up Post Graduate work next year.

CHARLES MERTIS EDWARDS. "Dun1o" "Charlie" Razzell Club.

•'Durnoll is noted for the great amount of noise he can cut loose in chapel. Hi., specialties are sin g ing and g iving orations, but once he fell and great was the fall th ereof. He is well acquainted in the vicinity of McAl evies Fort. Look out girls you a re g etting seconds!

We expect and hope he will make a successful engineer, but take heed, honey, lest thy evil ways lead thee astray.

WILLIAM ETTERS .

"Bill" High School Plays 1912, 1913, 1915.

Baseball Captain 1914, 1915.

Manager T rack T eam.

Razzell Club.

Outside of his weakness for the summer school teachers, "Bill"

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MAROON AND GRAY

is a model young man, for he neither smokes, drinks, chews nor swears(1) At the end of his Sophomore year he suddenly threw off his cloak of bashfulness, bui: it is easily seen that he has made up for it since. Although "Bill" is a great actor, he intends to be a lawyer.

Be careful "Bill," for if it is too crooked for 路 the Colonel, it is too crooked for you.

WILLIAM HENRY FOSTER. "Bill" "Pretty" "Handsome" Class President in Junior Year.

Football Manager 1914. Razzell Club.

"Let's have a dance!" is one of "Bill's'' favorite sayings. He is one of these fellows who is always trying to help someone else, never kicking when something goes wrong, He makes numerous excursions out of town--purpose unknown. Some one said Bill was in love but we don't beEeve it. We'll find out for sure when "Blondy" goes horne. "Oh, shucks!"

ETHEL GINGRICH Ethel graduated from Boalsburg High School but not being satisfied with her supply of knowledge she entered our institution, to further pursue her studi,es. She has the greatest forf'sight of any of the class, having dropped Physics at the beginning of the year: She is very quiet and doPsn't have much to say but has the best wishes of the class.

CHARLES EPHRIAM GLENN. "Charlie"

"Charlie's" early education consisted in husking pumpkins and digging corn. Being far from the bright lights of the city he was enabled to study perseverance better than the rest of us. The people up the country say he's quite a fusser, but we really didn't think "Charlie" would be gui lty of such a thing. He thinks he's tired of farming and so has decided to take up engineering in which course he has our best wishes for snccess.

RUTH GRAHAM. "The Midget."

Who's that coming with the jolly laugh? Oh, that's our little friend Ruth. We have been listening to that during our four years.

No one looks mournful when in her company. Ask her little Junior.

This is her second year practising cooking, and we wonder why she is taking such an interest in it. If Ruth has nothing to say she'll ask us if we don't think she is getting fat. Impossible. What Ruth is going to do after she leaves High School is all a puzzle, and no one has been able to solve it.

BRUCE MITCHELL HOMAN.

路 "Spider" "Bugle" Manager of Baseball Team, 1914, 1915.

Senior Class Treasurer.

MAROON AND GRAY

65

"Spider'' the magician, has been in High School for five years and seriously considered remaining- another, but when it was decicled to have a Senior class banquet, "Bugle" just couldn't think of missing the eats. His favorite saying h, "Pay your dues." Every night is fuss in' night for "Hugle."

ERNEST JOHNSON. Ernest came to us in our Sophomore year from Charleroi High School. He i~ a minister's son, but unlike most of them, is very moclest and -lignified. He has proven :himself very efficient in composition writing, having won several prizes. Ernest has good stuff in him, and has the besrwishes of us all, for his success in after life.

MARTHA AMELIA KAHL. "M arthadella."

Martha entered our High School during our Junior year from Logantown High School. She is a good student and very ambitious, being the only girl having enongh conrage to take up Trigonometry.

She expects to enter cullege next year, b,tt is undecided as to what course she will take. We wish her success in whatever she does.

"ROY HERMAN KATHERMAN. "Catty" Roy is another of our class-mates who hails from Boalsburg High.

He is a good orator and has been chosen for one of our commencement speak!:'rs. "Catty" mak!:'s freqnent trips t lp the countrv, but he says he has to leave at "Nina" clock. He gets his lessons by reading the headlines and then r!:'citing what he thinks it ought to be. Here's luck to him in after life.

RILLA MAE KELLER. Rilla, jolly and full of fun, yet possessing a great deal of stickto-it-iveness, has been with us from the start. At pr!:'sent she is a man-hater bnt we are sure she w!JI overcome this when her "Knight Comes Riding" She is nndecided as to future plans but there is a possibility that s})e will take up Post Gracluate work next year. We are sure that she will meet with succe~s in life.

EDWARD MAURICE KERSTETTER. "Ed" "Kicker" Editor of MAROON AND GRAY. High School Quartette.

Razzell Club.

"Ed" wants it distinctly understood that he does not come from Rerks County, already yet, where they eat win!:'gar in der wittles.

"Ed" was the first to propose establishing a High School paper and through his perseverance the project has materialized, and we have a paper of which we are proud. "Kicker" expects to take the Agriculture Course and we are sure he will make a very promising farmer.

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MAROON AND GRAY

RALPH LOOSE. President Athletic Association.

Captain Football Team, 1914.

Football Team, 1913-1915.

Vice President Senior Class.

Baseball Team, 1914.

Ralph entered our class in the Jnnior year from a Dutch settlement called Milheim. In Prof. Botten horn's estimation he is a shark.

Loose was prominent in athletics, until the football season of 1915 when he hurt his knee. Ruiiior has it that he is a wonderful fusser in Milheirn, but the State Coilege damsels know that he is only a kidder. Although .his ability as a student is well recognized, Loose uses unusual strength at every opportunity by raising roughhouse with the girls.

WILLIAM McALEVY McMAHON. "Bill" Razzell Club.

"Bill', comes from the wilds of Charter Oak. He has an inexhaustahle vocabulary which often gets him into trouble. Wht:n "Bill" gets a funny spell and pnlls off some of his jokes they might as well call off the study hour. He is a great fisherman but he lost his reputation when he forgot to take his rod along. He never seems to be serious enough to study but he surprises us all when the grades come out.

ALICE LEILA ROBE. "Liz" Class President Freshman Year.

Class Secretary Junior Year.

Member of Orchestra.

Secretary of Literary Society.

Salutatorian.

Literary Editor of MAROON AND GRAY.

This maiden came to us from the Sunny South, at the beginning of our Freshman year and immediately made a great hit. She is a very busy person, but is often heard to "Si" for Kiski. She prefers letters to post cards??? Leila expects to take up Liberal Arts, but can you imagine her strict enough to teach ?

RAYMOND STEVENS TAYLOR. "Ramie" "Zack" President of Senior Class.

President of Literary Society.

Valedictorian.

President Razzell Club.

Exchange Editor of MAROON AND GRAY.

Raymond Taylor, M. D. (Mule Driver.) "Ramie" shared with Leila Robb the fi1st honors of the class. His popularity in High School was reached during the Senior year, when he was elected president of nearly everything to which he belonged. He is a con-

MAROON AND GRAY

67

scientious worker and a good :student, but rumor hath it that he is inclined to grind. "Ramie'' expects to take agriculture and his highest ambition i.s to own a little farm and a pair of mules.

CHARLES LYNN WEBER. "Skinny" Vice President Sophomore Year.

Assistant Football Manager, 1913.

Joke Editor of MAROON AND GRAY. Manager of Orchestra.

"Skinny is an "All A-round" good fellow. He makes the noise in the orchestra and fills the greater part ot it by his traps. His un. limited supply of jokes gives h i m the reputation of being a jolly stude. "Skinny" is skirt-shy even if he does own a Ford. He ex~pects to fill the place left by John Bunny, the movie actor, but we see greater things in store for him.

RUTH ELIZABETH WINTER. "Betz"

This young lady came to us in our Sophomore year from Buck路 nell. Her one failing was that she was afraid of the male sex, but that was overcome when she glanced at "Handsome Bill." Ruth has one physical deficiency of which she is unable to control and that is ''losing her breath." She is a great entertainer as many of us have found that out. The Liberal Arts Course will receive our "Betz," and here's wishing her success as a school marm.

SARAH UVEDELIA WYKOFF. "U vie"

"Uvie" entered our class during our Junior year from Logant6n School. She is a very qui et and unassuming girl, who believes in doing things and saying nothing. She can "tickle the ivories" but she wastes her talents on classical music. She does not appreciate the High School music, but an exception to this is the singing of second tenor iu the High School Quartette. We wish her prosperity in the future.

RALPH MAINE ZERBY. "Mania" Razzell Club.

Business Manager of MAROON AND GRAY. High School Quartette.

"Mania" came to our class in the Sophomore year from the South Williamsport High School. He appreciates music very much and was especially attractive to the Killarney Girls. He expects to take up the Commerce and Finance Course next year, and is getting a great deal of practical experience in the management of the MAROON AND GRAY. Later in life he expects to study for the ministry and we believe him well fitted for the position. Here's to "Mania."

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69

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EDITORIAL STAFF. ADVISORY BOARD. PRoF . M. S. McDowELL, PROF. B. H. BoTTENHORN, MR. WAYNE B. KREBS, MISS CAROLINE BUCKHOUT. EDWARD KERSTETTER, '15, BoYD KArP, '16, RALPH ZERBY, '15, LAIRD BELL, '16.

ED路w ARD E. OwENS, '17, IVA HUMMER, '18, RAYMOND TAYLOR, '15 LYNN WEBER, '15, LEILA ROBB, '15, .

BRUCE HOMAN ,

Editor-in-Chief Associate Editor 13usiness Manager Assistant Manager

"

Exchange Joke Literary Athletic

'15,

"

Editor Editor Editor Editor

Entered as second-c la ss mail matter March 3, 1915, at the post office at State College, Pennsylvania,' under th e Act of March 3, 1879.

SUBSCRIPTION. ONE YEAR, 75 Cents .

SI NG LE COPY, 15 Cents.

Published Monthly by the Students of the State College High School.

VoL.

I.

STATE CoLLE GE , PA., JuNE,

1()15.

No.4

It is but a few days more until the Staff will be undergoing a serious operation. This operation means the loss of some of the Editors who have worked so faithfully to help make the paper a success. The Seniors earnestly hope that next year the paper will be continued and make as good or eveu a better periodical than we have had this year. To do this, the school must loyally support the Staff, not only by subscriptions, but by writing good stories and poems . .When you show the bus.iness men of the town what you are doing, they will only be too glad to support you by advertising in your paper.

70

MAROON AND GRAY

But, only remember that there is one great obstacle to be overcome. That is, the conditions we must labor under in regard to other local papers. There are at least four local papers published .

They are all trying to edit and print the best paper in order to get good advertising. You must therefore establish a better standard, offer the advertisers the best work for the least money.

If it were not for the business men of the town we would not be in existence. They furnished the ammunition and then we went to war. We earnestly hope that next year the paper will be such that other local papers cannot come up to your standard, In this way you can avoid com petition The Seniors extend their heartiest welcome to the MAROON AND GRAY, the faculty, teachers, pupils, and business men of our town.

They also hope 'hat next year the same enthusiasm or even greater be visible in the school. Athletics, music (orchestra and glee club), literary meetings and a general support of school activities are the things they are pleading for you to keep up and make better.

THE EDIToR.

TO THE CLASS OF 1915.

As the last issue of the MAROON AND GRAY tor the present year goes to press, and the smoke and dust clears away, we find the Editorial Staff calmly seated about the table and enjoying its first vacation since Christmas. Looking back over 'the past few months, we think we are safe in sayinR that the paper has been a success in every way. We do not say this boastfully, nor do we try to heap the tribute on our own heads ; but considering the size of our High School and the fact. that there are man y college papers issued by the students of the Pennsylvania State College, we think that we have made our presence felt in many ways. A great deal of the credit for the success of the paper belongs to the business men of the town, and we wish to thank them again for their earnest support. We hope to see this support continued in the future.

As the school year draws to a close, many familiar faces on the Staff will be lost throu g h graduation. We look sadly around at the poor remnant which is left and wonder wiH路re the reinforcements are coming from. The remainder of the staff wishes to thank the Seniors who have spent th eir untiring efforts in order to give ns a good start and also something to begin the new year with Too much credit can not be given to them, for it was chiefly in the Senior class that the movemant for a High School paper was first started, and it was largely through the eftorts of Kerstetter and Zerby, and the generosity of the business men that we were enabled to publish the MAROON AND GRAY.

路 In a publication like this, it is necessary that every one should h elp. The school as a whole has contributed very well. For this much needed help the Staff wishes to give its thanks to them and also asks that their work be continued again next year. This is absolutely necessary for the good of the paper. Vacation will afford

MAROON AND GRAY

71

plenty of time and experiences for the writing of good stories and poems for the future. Let everybody bear in mind that the MAROON AND GRAY will be published again next ) ear. Be prepared to do your best for the paper the comtng term, and it, in turn, will give you the best returns possible. At present it is not the intention of the Staff to add any new departments next Year unless it be that of an Art Editor ; but it is hoped that the sa.me departments will be better and more comp'ete in every respect. This largely depends on the attitude of the school as a whole. In you lies the power to either have a paper of which you will be proud, or one of which you will be ashamed. The Staff is merely the stepping stone between the school and a successful publication. It will do its part as well as possible and it expects the school body to do theirs.

Now, just a word in parting to the Seniors. The present class is the largest one to ever graduate from State College High School.

No doubt the members of the class will be widely separated from each other after they leave High. Next year we hope to have a larger and better Alumni department. Let the MAROON AND GRAY know cif your whereabouts and help to make this department of the paper a success. The MAROON AND GRAY wishes to thank you for all you have done for the school and for the paper. We bid you a last and hearty farewell, 1915.

The term is ended, and the sun has set behind a cloudless horizon. We look the futme fairly in the face and wait for what it has in store for us. To our readers, friends, and teachers, we thank you and bid you farewell for the summer.

AssoCIATE EDITOR.

MAROON AND GRAY

SCHOJL N[W5 The Samoset Chocolate Company, through their representative, Graham on the Corner, will send a box of Maid of Honor Chocol ates to the girl of the graduating class having the highest average of grades in her High School life. The MAROON A~D GRAY is pl eased to announce the name of Miss Leila Robb, as the person who will receive the gift.

Another issue of Aus Nah Und Fern, the Germ :m periodical, has arrived. It is being read in both German classes. This paper C <l ll路 tains a considerable amount of good German humor.

The High School was well represented at the Inter路Scholastic Track Meet. It had a fine team and plenty of enthusiastic ''rooters" on the grand stand.

We are glad to see t he Directors of the school taking an interest in their work, by way of planting trees along the walk, to help bean路 ti fy the school ground. Thanks to the Directors.

The Seniors of this year seem very anxious to have Dr. Rapeer repeat his visits to the High School next year. They learn something when he is ?resent in English class-so they say.

The pupils of the State College High School regret the loss of the student teachers, who taught classes here. The days spent together will be long remembered. Expressing our appreciation and thanks for help received, we cordially invite you to visit us at a ny time.

ALUMNI By "HE''路"

In a discussion on the war the other day, "Dick" Shirk was heard to remark that. the only thing that was wrong with Germany was that the Prof. had a grudge against him.

MAROON AND GRAY

73

With all respect and no thought of malice we wish to show Bass 路 Officer Teacher Taskmaster Envy Nigh t watchman Hang man Old jokes Radical Never-ending friend.

We extend to the Senior class a hearty welcome and a glad hand as they take their places .in our ranks.

And ]Let.

Us

:Maintain Noble Ideals.

And still they come. A man walking along the street one day saw a Ford on a housetop. He inquired of the owner why and how he got his Ford up there. Th is was the reply : "It was this way. I went to cr.ank the blamed thing yesterday and the crank slipped and I haven't had time to get it down yet.

And here's another. Norman- "Your old meter's wrong. It says we have gone one mile and a h\llf."

Gilbert-"Well that's all right, isn't it?"

Norman-''Certainly not. We have gone two miles."

Gilbert-''Yes, but we sk idded."

In conclusion, let us congratulate the Staff of the MAROON AND GRAY on their efforts. May they impart to their successors the same spirit, so that they may carry on the good work.

SENIORS WILLIAM ETTERS.

Rev. James M. Riley of the Methodist Episcopal Church preached the Baccalaureate ser'm on on Sunday evening, May 23路1 The graduation exercises will be held in the M. E. Church, on Friday evening, May 28, at eight o'clock . prof. Marshman, of the Pennsylvania State College, will deliver the Commencement address.

The following people ha ve been selected for Commencement speakers : Salutatory, Leila Robb; Class Prophecy, Ruth Winter; Recitation, Roy Kathennan ; Valedictorian, Raymond Taylor . . At the last J...iterary Society meeting the Seniors gave their gradnation speeches.

74

MAROON AND GRAY

~Senior banquet will be held immediately after the graduation exercises.

Miss Leila Robb entertained the Seniors Friday evening, May 7路 Everybody enjoyed themselves immensely. We wish to thank her for the joyous time, and the eats. Amen.

MEMBERS OF THE RAZZELL CLUB.

"Charley" Taylor, Frater in urbe "Bow" Bowman, Musician.

"Durno" Edwards, Scientific Fanner, Undertaker.

"Bill_" Etters, 1Secretary.

"Bill" Foster, - Caterer.

"Ed" Kerstetter, Bon ncer.

"Bill" McMahon, Valet.

"Zach" or "Zeb" Taylor, President.

"Skinny'' Weber, Treasurer and Joker.

"Modestine" Zerby, Chaplain.

JUNIOR W. S. JACKSON.

Well in a few days we, the dignified Juniors, will be Seniors, if "Botty," Krebs, and the others do not put us down.

One of "Minnie" Foster's characteristic poses in the garden is to lean on his hoe ; but he has two rows of vegetables pla:1ted now.

Some fellows enjoy nature, especially Phil Robb, who went with a lantern after dark hunting for the beauties of nature. He did not find this but found Well ask him.

TRIBUTE TO "MARY" WYKOFF. Donated by I. M. Ct路azy .

Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow.

The beets and cabbage are really punk, Brighten up or maybe you'll flunk.

Laird Be11 has a girl, and he says she's a' Hummer.

BIG NEWS.

"Tally" Hoy breaks into society by taking- home one of the dames of the Sophomore class from one of the big affairs of the school.

We wonder why "Gussie" Bullock, Philip Robb, Helen Bottorf, and "Jake" Brennan were p ut on the present committee to buy gifts for the Senior class? We think because they have to go to Bellefonte as "Jake's'' car comes in handy as a delivery wagon.

Wykoff-"! am getting long trousers when I g-raduate."

"Sleepy" Miller-"If I waited until I graduated to put on long trousers I still would be in bloomets."

The only chance some of us poor Juniors have to pass English is to put on skirts. 路 The Junior reception to .the Seniors was held in the High School building and, needless to say, everyone present had a fine time.

MAROON AND GRAY

75

There was music by the Jtinior orchestra composed of Helen Foster, piano; Dorothy Crane, flute; Boyd Kapp and Roy Williams, violins; Walter 'Jackson, drums. Each Senior received something to remember the occasion. Eats were served and an enjoyable evening ended at I r. 30. Oh, yes, the Faculty was present.

"Bonehead" Dale and "Count" Heverly must have some attraction at Bellefonte. Tell us what it is.

Some of our class entered the Inter-Scholastic Track Meet, on May 15, and did very good considering the training they had.

It seems funny how "Phil'' listens to the girls and holds meetings and socials just to suit them.

I wish to thank all those whose kind aid made the Junior news possible.

SOPHOMORE JOSitPH GLENN.

We hope that all of our classmates may become full fledged Juniors next year, although in some cases it seems impossible.

Our tennis court, which we pledged to build tor the public play ground will not be completed until next year on account of the lackof plans.

The Sophomores who have taken Second Year Algebra and are expecting to go to college are getting a start in Plane Geometry, so that it will not be so hard next year.

Mr. Meyers-''Who was with yon last night, Alice?"

Alice-"Only Grace."

Mr. Myers-"Well ! Yon tell Grace that she left her cigarettes on the piano."

P. S.-I wonder i_f it was not a Junior. (T. B. F. suspected.)

Severa] of the members of our class belong to the Jugglers' base ball team which won fame by defeating the Grammar school team ina serie<> of games.

FRESHMEN

RUSSELL WAGNER

Both 路sections of the Physical Geography ciass united and went for an observation trip to Shingletown on Friday, Mav 7路 The delay in the selection of grounds for the tennis courts will put considerable work on the boys, as a number of boys are going away this summer On Friday, May 9, a claS!'> social was held in the Htgh School building. Games were played and the evening was passed merrily, After the games were played, refreshments were served. So, a social hour was spent.

The committee appointed to report on material for a dass yell and song has not yet made a selection.

How many of our class will join 19r9 and how . many ot 1917 will join us, will soon be decided.

MAROON AND GRAY

76

LITERARY SOCIETY NOTES

The monthly meeting of the Literary Society was held April 13.

Not as much interest was shown as in the first meeting. If this is to be a T..iterary Society, the material, especially the recitations, should be of a more literary nature. 路 Recitations were given by Edwin Dale and Stanley Kaines.

Two debates were given. The first one was, "Resolved, That aircrafts are of greater value in warfare than warships." Walter McCafferty and Bruce Homan spoke on the affirmative side, and Thompson Foster and Robert Hoy on the negative.

The judge~, Ralph Zerby, Mr. Sassaman, and Mr. Krebs decided in favor of the affirmative side. The other debate, given by Laird Bell and Harold Brennan, was a humorous selection.

Mr. Harris, a Penn State student, who teaches in High School, was the critic for the meeting, The music was furnished by the High School orchestra.

Everybody come and invite your friends to the next meeting,路 and make it as interesting as possible.

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By beginning at the center "S" and following a zig-zag course to one of the four corner 1:./s, 1,289 difterent combinations may be found to spell "State College High School." It you don't believe it, count them yourself.

MAROON AJ\m GRAY

77

FOOTBALL. Owing to a delay . of the football managers of the other schools in re- plying to Manager Robb's request for games, the schedule has not yet been completed. 路 The schedule to date is as follows: October 2, Penn State Freshman, at Home.

November 6, Williamspbrt High, at Williamsport.

November 13, Clearfield High, at Home.

November 25, Dubois High, at Dubois.

Ltewistown High, (date uncertain.)

Every game scheduled, so far, will be a hard one, for they are all with strong teams who have made records for themselves. This is the first time in three years that we have had athletic relations with Williamsport High, and for this reason there will be a very keen rivalry between the contending teams, that will be backed up by the spirit of the two schools.

The fact that we defeated Clearfield High on their own grounds last season, and at a time when they were almost certain of victory, will only add more interest and zeal to the game to be played here on November 13th. Clearfield High has plenty of spirit and will no doubt com路e here determined to win.

The Dubois game is without a doubt the hardest game on the schedule. This will be the first time that we have had any athletic relations with DuBois High. They are recognized as the strongest team in North Central Pennsylvania. This will give us an opportunity to see the kind of stuff our team is made of.

A few of our players will graduate this year, but there are still many good ones left, and with some new material coming in we should have a team as good as the one we had last year. Here's hopiug for the best.

A PLEA FOR THE ATHLETIC ASSOCIATION. Fellows, the condition of the association is such that if a change is not made soon, it will cease to exist. This statement may appear startling to some of you, but it is the plain truth. For the past year

78

MAROON AN.D GRAY

we have simply dragged along in a listless m ann er. This condition of things cannot continue long ; a change must soon come. It is up to the fellows to make good. 路 Every fellow in the school should be a member of the associ ation but there are quite a few who have never joined . Must of these are Freshmen. Only a small per cent of the Freshmen class are members. Could the association keep up if every incoming class would act that way? Every one ought to have at least enough spirit to join the Athletic 1\ssoci ati on. It is your duty to join.

Many of the fellows who are mem bers take no interest at all 111 its proceedings; some do not even have enough spirit to attend its meetings. Under th ese conditions, how long can you expect the association to keep up? Furthermore, we do not stick together.

Every man is for himself ancl works for his own interest, not for th e interest of the school. Remember, "In union there is strength," and strength is what we need a t the preserit tim e.

In regard to the dues, why not pay them now? What is the use of getting behind? You ail know that we receive no outside support and are dependent on the dues that are paid in. Remember this, and let every fellow pay up back dues.

The officers elected for the next year should do all in their power for the interest of th e association.

THE TRACK MEET. S aturd ay, May rsth, was a n ideal day for the Inter-Sch ooldstic Track Meet, held hv the Pennsylvania S tate College. Altogeth er, there were twent y. tlnee different hi g h schools ann academi es represellted. Indiana State Normal again showeci its superiori ty over the other contestants.

Two inter-sch oolastic records were broken. Sutch, of Harrisburg Technical Hi gh School, ran th e two-mil e run in ten minutes, eighteen and three-fifths seconds ; and Beck, of Harrisburg Tech. put the twelve pound sh ot forty-five a nd one~half feet. Harrisburg T ech . was listed in Class B. In several cases, Class B made better records than Class A. Pond did good work for us, coming in second in the finals of the roo yard dash. Hunter showed up well both in running and jumping, but his injured ankle prevented him from doing his best.

In Class A, Indiana Normal was first with one hundred and seventee n points, with Bell efonte Academy second with twenty-fi ve points. In Class B, Harrisburg Tech. won with eig hty-three points, with Williamsport High second with twenty-seven points.

MAROON AND GRAY

79

ALL THL T l ME:

Once upon a tim e in the land of the Midsummer Night's Dream, Julzits Caesar with Macbeth visited his friend, King Lear. The Merchant if Venice entertained them by telling the story As You Like It, when Othello asked when his son, Hamlet, was comiug. He replied The Twe!fllz Night.

"Hey, Bill, don't shoot! Your gun isn't loaded."

"Can't help it. The bird won't wait."

"What is your age, Miss Jones?''

"I've seen thirty summers."

"How' long have you been blind?"

Miss Buckhout-ÂŤRaymond, I'm afraid I shall never see you the better world."

Raymond T.-"Why, 'Nhat have you been doing now?"

MEMBERS OF RA ZZELL CLUB NOTICE!

Rosewood coffin, Vain regrets; Same old storyCigarettes.

tn

80

MAROON AND GRAY

- - - - - - - - -- - - - - -- -

This being th e last issue ot th e first volume of the MAROO N AND GRAY, we wish to thank o nr older brothers who h ave been so kind as to offer exchange,; to one so young in years. W e expect to appear again at the beginning of the next school year. Without doubt the new boa rd of managers will wish to h ave our old friends and as man y others as wish, be presen t at our t able.

On the a ppearance 0f our first issue the ex change list was very small. However, in the four months ot onr existence, it has increased rapidly, and in the future we expect to have a list of which we may ·be proud.

The followin g a re the ex chang es which we h ave received d uring the last month :

The R ed and Black, R eadin g Hi g h S chool, R eading , Pa. The Canm·y and Blue, Alle nto wn Hi g h School, All entown, Pa. The OranJ?e and B lack , Hanover Hi \? h School, Hanover, Pa. The Dz"ckz"nson Union, Dickinson Seminar y, Williamsport, Pa. The Sp ectator, J ohns town High School. Toh nstown, Pa. The Brown and Whz"te, Greensburg Hi gh, Greensburg , Pa. The Narrator, Schu ylkill S eminary, R eading, Pa. The Ozerry and White, Williamsport High, Williamsport, Pa. The Sp oknman, Erie Hig h Sch ool, E rie, Pa. The Canton Hig h's Slogan , Canton High S choo}, Canton, 0.

7 he Commercial Record, R alston Hig h S ch ool, R alston , Pa. The Sbrctrum, Chester Hi g h School, Ch e~ t er, Pa. The S tudent, Cra nford High S chool, Cra nford , N.J. The Tt>clz T atler, T echnical Hig h Sch ool, H arrisburg , Pa. The Oraclt>, l\1 anchester Hig h S chool, Manchester, N . H. The Blue a11d White S o. Willia msport H igh , S o. Wil liams]" •1 t.

7/ze Oranx e and Black, Milton Hi gh School , Milton , Pa S an J ose H . S. H erald, San j ose Hig h S chool, S an Jose, Cal. /he S zmbztrian H igh, Sunbury High S ch ool, Sunbury, Pa.

MAROON AND GRAY

81

CRITICISMS.

The Torch-The large numberofstories in your paperconvinces ns of active school spirit. We think that the exchange department would be improved by more criticisms. The jokes are well chosen.

Your editorials are splendid and show deep thought on the part of the editors.

The Red and Black-The best exchange we receive. Some of your ideas about exchanges and cm1tents of paper may be held before some others as an example. Your literary department is good, espec路 ially your story, "Coward.路' The Blue and White- Your paper is declining. Your school needs a "bump," in order to create some school spirit. The material you have in your paper is good, and well arranged, but you should have more of it.

REFLECTIONS. The first issue of the MAROON AND GRAY, State College, Pa., comes to our table this month. 'vVe extend a cordial welcome to it anci wish it success in ~11 respects.-Brown and White.

The MAROON AND GRAY for March was excellent for the first issue and showed plenty of hard work on the路 part of the editors in getting up such a good paper. The literary column was e!ipecially good while all the columns were well arranged. The quality of the paper and the neat cover add greatly to the appearance of the publication.- The Student.

The IUAROON AND GRAY. and contents of your first issue:.

-The Spectrum.

Congratulations on the appearance We wish success to your venture.

A FEELING WE CAN'T DEFINE. When the days begin to grow warmer, And the birds begin to sing, The grass and flowers awaken, Which April showers bring, It's then that we have a feeling, A feeling we cannot define; But we know it is there-we feel it, 'Tis Springtime's surest sign.

When there's chapters of Cresar路to translate, And Geom propositions to learn, The outside world sends us calling, But it moves not our teacher so stern.

And no matter how hard we may study, That feeling comes crowding right in, We know it is there-we feel it, To have school then, 'tis a sin .

-Canton High's Slogan.

82

MAROON AND GRAY

DA STRONG A MAN. You skee ny leetle office man Dat keepa da books, Why do you geeve Italian Sooch ogly looks ?

Today w'en from your deener-time I see you com', You sneered at me baycause dat I'm So plain an' domb.

W'en een da street I sat to eat, An' you went bv, I s'pose dat you was full weeth meat An' cake an' pie.

I saw you sneer an' shak' your head At w'at I gat : Som' on ion, h a!fa loa fa bread An' wan tomat!

You skeeny leetle office man Dat keepa da books, Who was eet made dees granda ian'?

Eh? Stylish cooks ?

Com'! tak' dat leetle pen for me You use so wal, An' mak' figures now an' see Eef you can tal How manny railroads, mines an' streets An' buildin's high, Was made by men dat fed on meats An' cake an' pie; Den count how manny workers fed On w'at I gat: Som' onion, haifa loafa bread An' wan tomat !-Commercial Record.

A banana peel, A flash of hose, A little squeal, And down she goes.

--Cherry and White.

What ales the porter?

His mother-in-law wines all the time .

He is going home to liquor.

-Red and Black.

He took off his shoes on the porch, and crept in noiselessly, if unsteadily. Then there came a sudclen crash, followed by a voice from above, "What happened?" "'Sall right, Jane, but I'll teach those gold-fish not to snap at me.''-Spokesman.

Curiosity is all the rage, It's rife in every school, And that is why you'll turn this page 'JOOJ no}._ 路l!uoJM. s,~lll{M. ~~s OJ., -Cherry and ff/hite.

MAROON AND GRAY

83

A SCHOOLBOY'S DEFINITION.

The mule is a hardier bird than the guse or turkey. It has two legs to walk with, two more to kick with, aud it wears its wings on the side of its head. It is stubbornly backward about going forward.

Men are what women marry . They chew, smoke, drink, swear, and don't go to church -perhops they would if they wore bonnets. Men are logical, also zoological. Men and women both spring from monkeys, but women spring the farthes~. -Ex. A pole had fallen on two men.

Policeman-"Shall I send路_for a doctor?" lVIike-"No, send for the postmaster."

Policeman-"Why?" 1\f ike-"To get the post office." (off us.)

"It's so far for us to ask you to come out here," she said to the doctor over the phone. "Never mind that," was the cheerful reply, "I've another patient living near you and so I can kill two birds with one stone."

MY AUTO 'TIS OF THEE.

Ivi y an to 'ti5 of thee, short cut to poverty-of thee I chant. I blew a pile of dough on you two years ago, and now you refuse to go, or won't, or can't. Through town and country side, yon were my joy and pride; a happy day. I loved thy gaudy hue, thy nice white tire so new, but now yon are down and through in every way. To thee, old rattle box, came many bumps and knocks; for thee I grieve.

Badly thy .top is torn, frayed are thy seats and worn; a whooping cough affects th y horn, I do believe. Thy perfume swells the breeze while good folks choke and wheeze, as we go by. I paid for thee a price, 'twould buy a mansion twice, now are all peddling ice, I wonder why? 路 Thy motor has the grip, thy spark plug has the pip, and woe is thine. I, too, have suffered chills, agne and kindred ill, endeavoring to pay my bills, since thou wert mine. Gone is my bank roll now, no more 'twoulcl choke the cow, as once before. Yet if I had the mon, so help me John, amen, I'd buy a car again, and speed some more.

84

MAROON AND GRAY

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself for swearing in that manner," said the shocked by-stander to a wordy young.;ter.

"I sure am,, he replied. "You ought to bear me big brother.

Give me time."

Ed. Kerstetter-"Got change for a dollar ? '' "Spider" Homan (fishes out two halves)-"Yep." Ed. Kerstetter-"Loan me a h<ilf."

"There's a thing I'd like about you, If it would do no harm."

"And what is that?, asked Leila, Swamp replied, "My arm., No, Dorothy Crane is not the only bird in school. Bill McMahon is chicken-hearted, pigeon-toed, wise as an owl, somewhat of a lyre, likes to wear a swallow-tailed coat, and collars with wings ; talks like a parrot, acts like a goose and he is a perfect jay when he has the blues.

Teacher-"Define trickling."

Pupil-"To go jumping about."

Teacher-''Define anecdote."

Pupil-"An anecdote is a short tale."

Teacher-- --" Make a sentence illustrating both., Pupil-"A dog went trickling down the street with a tin can tied to his anecdote., Ed.-"You can't stuff me. Everything you say goes 1n one ear and comes out the other."

Botty-"Well, there's a reason."

Ed.-"Why? , Botty-"Because there's nothing to prevent it gomg straight through."

Harris-''Who worked out the first Geometry proposition? , "Fill Up"-"Noah, when he constructed the arc B. C., Bill E.-"I'm studying hard, I'm trying to get a head., Botty-"Goodness knows, you need one." ''â&#x20AC;˘I

Sassaman drank some water, Sassaman drank some more: What Sassaman thought was H 2 0, Was HzS 0 1 â&#x20AC;˘ If there should be a flood, Straight to this book I'd fly, For though all other things would be wet, This book would sure be dry.

MAROON AND GRAY

85

A PARODY ON THE LOW-BACKED CAR.

By Samuel Lover.

Arranged by WalterS. Jackson,' 16.

When first I saw Lynn Weber, 'Twas on a sultry da); ; An old Ford he drove, and sat Upon a cushion made of hay.

But when that Ford was bein g made And being painted too, No car was there that could compare With that Ford painted blue.

As he sat in the old Ford car, The man at the turnpike bar Never asked for toll; But rubbed his owld poll And looked after the old Ford car. ln battle's wild commotion, The proud and mighty Mars, With hostile sythes demands his tythes Of death in war-like cars ; While "Skinny," peaceful god, Has dust in h is bright eyes, That knocks men down in Shingletown, As to right and left he flies, As he sits in his old Ford car, That battles more dangerous farFor doctor's art Cannot cure the heart That is hit by that Ford car.

0! I'd rather ride in that car, sir, With "Skinny" by my side, Than in a Hudson, Franklin, or Buick, Or have Martha for my bride.

For Martha would sit forinst me On a cushion made with taste, While "Skinny" would sit beside me, With his hand on the wheel.

While we drive in our automobile ?

To be arrested for roaming afar, 0, my heart beats high, Knowing how we fly, When we go in that old Ford car.

Freshman-'' What did K ell y do?''

Senior-"! don't know who Kelly is. What made you ask?''

Freshman-"! told 'Ed' t h at 'Mic' stood on his head, and he said, 'Like Kelly did'.''

The boy stood on the burning deck, Whence all but he had fled.

He would not lea ve his post till h.e The MAROON AND GRAY had read.

86

MAROON AND GRAY

Sassaman-"I know 20 times as much as you."

"Bill,;-"Well, 20 times o equals o."

Umpire-" Foul!"

Freshman-'路Why, where are the feathers?" .Sophomore-"Don't get fresh, this is a picked team."

Sassaman-' 'What kind of leather makes good shoes?"

Freshman-''I don't know, but banana skins make good 路slippers."

"What are they moving the chmch for?''

"Well, stranger, I'm the mayor of these diggin's, and I'm fer law enforcements. We've got an ordinance what says no saloons shall be nearer than 300 feet from a church. I gave 'em three days to move the church."

A little bit of writing Scribbled on the cuff, Helps a guy remember Lots of important stuff.

Teacher (in Latin)-"Give the principal parts of any verb 1n common everyday use."

Pupil-"Flnnko, fl.unkere, suspensi, expellum."

"Tacks"-"Sh ! ! ! There's a detective in the billiard room."

"Toppy"-"What for:?"

"Tacks"-"To spot the balls."

"Durno"-"Hey, Ed, what's the Latin word for 'he made'?"

Ed.-"Fecet." (Fake it.)

"Durno"-"That's what I'm trying to do."

Krebs (in History)-"Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? '' Martha-"At the bottom."

HIGH SCHOOL PUPILS PRAYER.

Now I lay me down to rest, Before I take tomorrow's tt>st, If I die before I wake, Thank heaven, I'll have no test to take.

Perhaps these jokes are old, And should be on the shelf, But if you know some better ones Send them in yourself.

Bowman is a little runner Who runs a little while, But when he runs a mile or more He rn ns all out of style.

MAROON AND GRAY

87

CLASS STONES.

Freshman-Emerald.

Sophomore- Blarney Stone.

Junior-Grind Stone.

Senior-Tomb Stone.

THE DUTCHMAN'S LETTER.

Dear Old EnochenhophAs I have nothing to did and wish to did it, I taught I would take my pen and a bottle of ink in my hand and typewrite you a few ledders. So blease oxcuse dis led pencil. We are all well at present except my brndder; he wass kicked in de suburbans yesterdadt last nite by a mule. Der mule iss not expected to live.

Your rich aunt who died of palpatition of der hart iss still ded and doing nicely. I hope dis will find you der same. After she died dey found fifteen tonsand dollars in an old bussel dat she left behincl; so you are no longer a poor man, but a Dutchman.

Your brudcler Will went to work dis morning, de job will last six months, but he might get ouclt sooner on good behavior.

Business has been dull since yon lefLed, especially the saloon business. Your wife was took to der insane asylum yesterday. She was crazy to see you.

I saw your }eddie boy dis morning for de fonist time. Tink he looks chust like you; but he is alrite oderwise, so I would not worry about dat if I wass you . ' I am sending yon by der Adams Oxpress your obercoat, and you knoe dey charge so much a pound to send it, so I cut off de buttons to make it lighter. I hope dis will prove satisfaction. De buttons are in de pocket on der left side.

I wass sorry to hear dat you haf a cough. Iff you take a bottle of der great 0 and 0 cough mixture yon will get quick well. Iff you don't take it, yon save a quarter, und by yesterday maybe yon will be so tam ded you won't want itt.

As dis wass all I got to say I will close my face anrl oxpect you to do er same.

Hoping dis will reach you before you git it, und dat you will answer befor dat, I remain your confectionate second to der last cousm, Abe Nutt.

P. S.-In der case yon do not get dis letter, write me und let me know und I will send it to you.

"Doc." Winter is some sportsman but he can't make anything out of his bets. ( Betz.)

88

MAROON AND GRAY THE FACULTY. Of all the finest specimens, That Bottenhorn takes first place, For when it comes to Bottenhorn.

There is something in a face.

His ivory skull, with little without And very much within, (we can't see it, but we believe it) His jaws are fat without a doubt, And he has a double chin .

That handsome Krebs, you all know Is very kind and sweet, And stays at home to mend his hose To protect his little feet.

His hair is black, not red, His eyes not gray but brown.

And he expects to wed, (he said) Before he leaves this town .

Sassaman, he coaches the boys, And advises them not to smoke or chew; In Botany he uses many big words, And says what will become of you, His face is filled up to the brim With many sweet and lovely smiles, He twists his face into many forms And very few he exiles.

The lady members of our faculty, Are the ones that make us spout, We have them in honorable mentioning, Miss Jones and Miss Buckhout.

Boyd-"Could you learn to love me?"

Nite-"I learned to speak Chinese. " Ed. Kerstetter (applying for job at College)-"Can't you gJVe me a job?"

Abe Myers-路'No, we have all the men we need."

Ed.-"Well, it seems to me you could hire one more, the little I would do.''

Harris-"Do all nuts grow on trees?"

McCafferty-' 'Sure.'''

Harris-" How did you get down without being hurt?"

City Guy-"What for do you water your horse before giving him his dinner?"

Farmer--"If I watered him afterwards it would go against his grain."

MAROON AND GRAY

Raymond Taylor Martha KaHl Ethel Ginrlch William EtterS Charles Glenn LeiLa Robb EdnA Bittner CharleS Edwards William FoSter William McMahon Ralph LooSe

EThel Detweiler Bruce Homan Ralph ZErby Roger Bowman Roy KathErman Edward KerStetter RuTh Graham Ernest Johnson UVedalia Wykoff Ruth WintEr Lynn WebeR

The sheep are in the meadow, The cows are in the corn, But why in the name of goodness Did the Lord create Botten horn.- H. N. E.' I4.

Bill 'rs-"Say 'Tommy' did you have a good time at the dance last night?"'

Tommy 'r6-"I certainly did. Why Gussie gave me her first dance."

Bill-"Well, she told me that she wanted the disagreeable things over as quick as possible."

On a mule we find, two legs behind, And two we find hefo1 e, We tickle behind before we find, What the two behind he for.

Mr. Krebs (in German)-"Define the verb to butter."

Ruth Winter-"Is it weak or strong?"

The people from the country, who carry their dinner, often get so hungry that they eat off the tops of their lunch boxes.

A man was standing on the street with one foot on the rnnning hoard of a Ford. A little boy came along and said, "Say mister, did you lose your other roller skate ? '' There was a young man from Perth, Who was born the first day of his birth, But some people say He married on his wife's wedding day, And died his last day on earth.

We should never laugh at Rotty's jokes, Because the point we see, But, we always laugh at Batty's jokes, Because it's policy.

Sassaman-"! sball be tempted to give this class a test tomorrow."

Durno-"Yielcl not to temptation."

90

MAROON AND GRAY

Prof.-"What prevents the ocean from flowing over the land?''

Student-"Its tide." (It's tied.)

"Where were you born Bill ? " "~reland."

"What part? " "All of me."

He flunked in German, flunked in Math, They heard him softly hiss : ''I'd like to find the guy what said, That ignorance is bliss.''

Sassaman-"A fool can ask more questions than a w1se man can answer.''

Any Stude-"No wonder so many of us flunk our exams."

Ashes to ashes Dust to dust, If Botty doesn't get us Sassaman m nst.

Helen Foster-'~ Why do they paint the inside of a chicken coop?"

Downcaster-"To .keep the hens from picking the grain out of the wood.''

Soph-"Do you klllow why they don't hang a man with a wooden leg in Ireland? n Fresh-"No." Soph-"You fool, they use a rope."

Freshman-"Why did 'Toppy' shave." 路 Sophomore-"Baseball."

Freshman-"Baseball?"

Sophomore-"Yep, unnecessary roughness is prohibited."

Collar-''! will have a hot time at the dance tonight," Shirt-"All right, Collar, if thou wilt, thou lea vest me. "-Ex.

"BABE'S" PASTIME THEATRE The House of features The Home of the famous ''Mirror-Screen" The Oldest-The Best

A dean place of Amusement for Ladies and Gentlemen "Botty"-"Let's see, Bruce, aren't you the same stude I flunked at the first of the year? " Bruce-"No, sir, I haven't been the same since."

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Hillside Ice Co. N. E. HESS, Manager Cor. College Ave. and Sparks St.

Manufacturers of Pure ke from Distilled Water Delivered Daily COMMERCIAL

PHONE

PLANT N . PATTERSON ST.

Cora B. Snyder Ladies' furnishings and Millinery

yure it an 路 yu no it. '路 I am if so _Y dqn't yu try me?

Curry's Shop Allen Street

129 Allen Street Please mention the Maroon and Gray when patronizing our Advertisers

PHILIP D. FOSTER

THE

TOGGERY SHOP

COAL AND WOOD SLATE ROOFING

Athletic Goods 338 W . COLLEGE AVE.

Men's Furnishings

Both Phones

1. C. SMITH & SON GENERAL HARDWARE Builders' Material Oils, Paints, Glass, Cement, Stoves, Roofing, Spouting, etc.

STATE COLLEGE, PA. " /heard him behind the door pleading for just one. They must be engaged."

"Naw, they're married. It was a dollar he was pleading for."

FARMERS路~

TRUST COMPANY OF

STATE COLLEGE, PA. JOHN T. McCORMICK, President

F. P. RESIDES Opposite Postoffice DEALER IN

Home-killed M eat s Eggs . 路. Oleomarg arine Poultry . 路. Groceri e s Prompt D e livery t o a ll Pa rts of Town

D. F. KAPP, Treasurer

W. A. HOY

PUBLIC HAULING Transfer from L emont to State College Trunks a Specia lty

B o th Phones

Ple ase m ention the M aroon and G ra y when patronizing our Adverlise_ rs

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To Our Friends and- Patrons of State College HighSchool: 路 Another school year has come and goneanother milestone has been added to your lives.

Have you made the best of it? Many of you have- some have not. To those that have, we congratulate you and hope that i{ will be an incentive to do even better in the year to follow.

To those that have not, may the coming vacation season be a period of thought and reasoning, with a determination that this year will count for two of the Last.

To all, we congratulate you on the advan-

. [ages you have had in a new building, additional teachers, and honest efforts of our school board to give you the best. We congratulate you on your efforts to establish a H;gh School publicalion and the success you have made of it. We hope our business relations in the future may be as pleasant as in the past and that we may see you often during vacation season in our store, where you will find the best Sodas, Sundaes, Ices, and Confections that we can procure.

Graham ~;e Corner

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" Ha ve you noticed that where the muscle moves rapidly no hair ever grows?"

"Sure, that's the reason wamen don't have whiskers."

They m ak e t his pape r possible

FOREST L. STRUBLE PLUMBING, STEAM, HOT WATER AND VAPOR HEATING 路~ Estimates Cheerfully Furnished

- - 路 - - -- - - -- - - -Both Phones

OUR OBJECT IS TO GIVE YOU

Clean Amuse1nent

College Avenue, next to Bank

G. S. KELLAR Livery

STATE COLLEGE BILLIARD AND . .

BOWLING CO.

!. '

Feed and Sale Stable

CARS FOR HIRE YOU KNOW WHERE

Compliments of

DR. S. SLAGLE .OPTOMETRIST

Saturday Evening Post Ladies Home Journal Country Gentleman Delivered to any Address

James Foster Your Patronage end Subscriptions Solic;ted

"Bow"- ! wonder why no one 11ver named a song 'The_Va_ccination Rag'?"

"Swamp"-"/ suppose it wouldn't take."

P leBse mention th e Maroon and G ray when patronizing our Advertisers

Notary Public JOHN L. HOLMES Real J:..state Fire Insurance

C .. E. S.H'U路EY.

JEWELER Ar\TD_, O-P TICIAN AGENT FOR

L. C. Smith Typewriters She-"What do you mean by a close shave in football?"

He-"When Colgate meets Williams."

Nittany Inn Pool Room All Tables Re-covered and Everything Remodeled

UNDER MUSIC ROOM

ENTER-PRISE

CLOTHING STORE Satisfaction Guaranteed is Our Motto

431 '- 439 .

Hepburn S!reet 路路 corn er Edwin

Williamsport

They make this pape r possible

A. DEAL SANITARY PLUMBING

VAPOR

HEATING

Why build an extra room?

Equip your porch with Vudor Porch Shadesthen eat and sleep in it.

Let in air ~nd light, yet k eep your porch cool and

private. M eals will mean h unger.

The air, the great nerve-doctor, brings deep, unbroken sleep, which soothes ne rves路 and batlw s them to health.

Special Shades for Different Width Porches

STEAM AND HOT WATER SYSTEMS STATE COLLEGE, PA.

L C. HOLMES DRY GOODS - - AND - -

GROCERIES

For Prices, ca ll on

C:1entzel & McEachren

FRUITS AND CANNED GOODS A S PEC IALTY

A lfred - "Leila, how would y ou like to have a pet monkey?"

L eila - "Oh, A lfred, this is so sudden."

Please m ention the Maroon an d G ray w hen patronizing our Advertisers