The Elgin Marbles

The Elgin Marbles

The Elgin Marbles and the Brandenburg Gate

The Elgin Marbles groaned: “it’s clear we’ve lost our ancient place. We’ve tried to get back home but no one hears. What really hurts the most

is what’s occurring now: that man from Rome who heads the European Central Bank hopes QE will generate a boom,

but who will buy Greek bonds? Berlin’s to thank for all our woes. It’s not our fault we ’ve lived beyond our means. Our debt, our rank,

are rated little higher than default, and as for this austerity - enough!” But Berlin’s Gate replied “let’s call a halt

to all this sorry wheedling and such stuff. The value of the Euro wanes and waxes, and so you want to quit? I’ll call your bluff:

it’s clear the bitter truth (let’s face the facts) is most of you have never paid your taxes.”

Darrell Barnes

A Provisional Reply from the Parthenon Marbles

Oh please sir, wept the sorry broken stones, Just tell us what our unpaid taxes are, and we will pay them. We will make no bones

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about it. Perhaps we are in debt to the Museum. Perhaps we owe Lord Elgin for our fare. If there are bills outstanding, let us see ’em.

Otherwise, we wonder how you dare traduce the damaged beauty of an age when in our kindly shadows men would share

the noblest thoughts inscribed on any page, in any book, in all philosophy. Before you point the finger, clever sage,

read history, and even you will see: financial bubbles presuppose a bourgeoisie.

Gerard Lally

Last Appeal from the Bundesrepublik Deutschland

Marbles! It’s really not too late to kneel before our handsome Tor (Brandenburg’s victorious Gate), failing which, we fear it’s war! Deutschland, Deutschland über alles singt das deutsche Bürgertum (*). “We who bailed out feckless Pallas Athene and gave her room to come to an accommodation, learn at last to pay her way (of course, we love Greece as a nation where else to go on holiday?), now we’ve really had enough! If Syriza leaves the Euro, Greece will find the going tough; Tsipras now may be your hero

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but Vorsicht! - steps into the dark led by hasty, unproved men, will resurrect the Deutschemark and if that happens - well: what then?”

(*) This, translated, you will see is ‘sings the German bourgeoisie’.

Darrell Barnes

The Marbles’ Response

Perhaps some over-hasty unproved men should try to answer that and up the ante, re-read the major works of Marx and pen

a pond’rous epic in the style of Dante, in which a fearless hero braves the dark of rotten bourgeois lies and silly cant. He

produced those weighty tomes in German, mark, the language of the sober Bundesrat, but if the truth be told, all clear and stark,

preferred the German proletariat. The money men must take what they will get. There is no going back and that is that.

And as for Merkel and the monstrous debt: By those who ran it up it should be met.

Gerard Lally

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A More Temperate Appeal from the Brandenburg Gate to the Elgin Marbles

My last appeal was not in terza rima, the verse form that I usually employ; I must have lost my marbles - what a dreamer!

Anyway, in Schiller’s Ode to Joy’ “Bettler werden Fürstenbrüder” - so it’s not a very wise or thoughtful ploy

to undertake a policy of No: “no, we won’t repay our debts” and “no, it’s time austerity should go”.

Let beggars walk with princes hand in hand and no one will be happier than I; but first, you’ll have to follow what’s been planned.

To all your friends who ask the question “why? these constant cuts will bring us to our knees”, all I can respond is “have a try!’”

Although you handsome creatures grace a frieze, you really cannot do just as you please.

Darrell Barnes

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Cool Reasoning by the Marbles

Let’s undertake a policy of Yes, Our culprits will be made to pay in full, but if you grasp the naked CDS

you ’ll know it is a nasty trick to pull, to sue the losing horse because you stand to lose the cash you gambled, being dull.

And as for that suspicious “what’s been planned”, we saw what happened with the Viet Cong. No doubt the NATO gunboats have been manned,

in order to enforce the Rule of Wrong. Too true, we don’t imagine we are free, but workers all united can be strong.

We have to relegate to history Chicago economics and Austerity.

Gerard Lally

An Apologia from the Brandenburg Gate to the World at Large

Do not think this thread is just for fun matters of great moment are addressed: debate on Greece’s future’s just begun,

though couched in fable form (which is the best way I can find to spread important news: it makes folk pause and ask, perhaps in jest,

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“does this form serve simply to amuse, or does a deeper moral lie beneath from which we seek in vain to find excuse?”)

The Quadriga adorned with laurel wreath stands atop my Brandenburger Gate, a symbol of my discipline, the teeth

of European rectitude. My weight will lead us all to sunlit, upland hills; departure from this path incurs a fate

that’s worse than death for those with weaker wills. In any case, it’s I who pay the bills.

Darrell Barnes

A reply from the World at Large

Your address to the populace appears to us mere persiflage and folly. As yet we’ve seen no trace

Of rigour in your light ripostes to Lally. He has the moral high ground you but prevaricate, and dally.

Take a tip from us plebs, on the ground: cut to the chase, keep your eye on the action, quit all the thrashing around.

Your witty parries are a poor distraction from the fine steely sharpness of his indignation.

Anonymous Writer

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The Brandenburg Gate’s Final Offer

It seems to me that Greece is kin to Faust, always seeking pleasure, something new; another pays the bottles he’s caroused.

Mephistopheles now wants his due. Too bad that Dr Faust gave up his soul: the Todesglocke now has struck on cue,

Mephisto now has acted out his role and hurries home to calculate his gain. “A satisfactory contract, on the whole -

let’s see who’s next: Ireland? Cyprus? Spain?” Some rue the lack of philosophic rigour: what comfort’s that when undergoing pain?

I speak of something altogether bigger viz. market sentiment behind the scenes. If Greece can’t pay her way I’ll pull the trigger.

I’ll give you one last chance, you rash Hellenes: you really cannot live beyond your means.

Darrell Barnes

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