Steel This Magazine - Issue 6

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WHY HERE?

factors that contributed to the opioid epidemic in pittsburgh

STORYBURGH

IVETTE SPRADLIN

a conversation with one of pittsburgh’s busiest photographers

a visit to the group that helps empower young girls through writing workshops

working three jobs, going to school, and running numbers is all in a day’s work for this lawrenceville 13 year old

A NEW PERSPECTIVE

thoughts on pittsburgh from abroad by miles mccoy

GIRLS WRITE PGH

MISS LORETTA’S CORNER

making a difference - storyburgh profiles three change makers you should know about

HEAVY METAL AFRICA

MATTERS OF THE HEART

edward banchs shares part of his book about the music, people, and places that make up the metal head community abroad

dating advice: the questions keep coming, so we’ll keep answering

A BRUSH WITH HISTORY

a missed brush with destiny on an r&r excursion from vietnam

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GIRLS WRITE PGH: a visit to the group who helps empower young girls through writing workshops

9

WHY HERE?: factors that contributed to the opioid epidemic in pittsburgh

contents

50

ALONE ABROAD:

64

finding out the meaning of home takes some perspective

Steel This Magazine needs your help. Writers, Photographers, Salespeople... we need you!

If you’re a creative, or if you simply have some good story ideas, please reach out to: John@SteelThisMag.com to get involved.

Staff: Publisher - John Dubosky Creative Director/Graphic Design - Kelli Koladish Editor - Susan Cunniff Photography - Brian Volinic Contributing Writers - Bob Stallsmith, Amy Maurine Edwards, Alyse Horn of Storyburgh, Miles McCoy, Susan Dunhoff, Loretta Millender, Skipper Anderson, Eric Boyd and Sara Makin Crossword Puzzle - Daniel Finan

IVETTE SPRADLIN: a conversation with one of pittsburgh’s busiest photographers

READER FEEDBACK: “Miss Loretta’s Corner shined a light on the experience of people of color in Pittsburgh back in the day. I’m looking forward to reading the next installment.”

-Sarah Cox - Lawrenceville “Where’s the food? People love reading about food!”

- @PittsburghSteve420 “Re: Bomb Day - hearing about the experience of someone in Hiroshima during the current nuclear scare was a great read!”

- Curtis McCurdy - Pittsburgh

STORYBURGH: making a difference - storyburgh profiles three change makers you should know about

MATTERS OF THE HEART: dating advice: the questions keep coming, so we’ll keep answering

MISS LORETTA’S CORNER: working three jobs, going to school, and running numbers is all in a day’s work for this lawrenceville 11 year old.

CLOSE, BUT NO CIGAR: a missed brush with destiny on an r&r excursion from vietnam

steel this crossword: daniel finan does it again. try not to cheat

HEAVY METAL AFRICA: edward banchs shares part of his book about the music, people, and places that make up the metal head

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WHY HERE? factors that contributed to the opioid epidemic in pittsburgh By: Sara Makin, M.S.Ed.,NCC

If you’ve been paying attention to the news media in the last two years, you’re well aware of the opioid epidemic ravaging the United States. President Trump, after dragging his feet, recently declared the drug overdose epidemic a, National Public Health Crisis, the worst drug epidemic in history that would, in his words, “Require the resolve of our entire country.” Almost nowhere are people more keenly aware of that predicament than right here in Southwestern Pennsylvania.

Last year, according to the DEA, overdoses were up 37% in Pennsylvania to the tune of approximately 13 deaths daily, and this rate is steadily increasing. Out of ten counties in PA with the highest rates of overdose per capita, nine of them are in Southwestern PA. Allegheny County and the five surrounding counties all soar above the national average for opioid related deaths. There are myriad reasons this crisis has a stranglehold on the region, and they all work in lockstep to complicate the problem.

Aside from the too frequent and often unnecessary scribbling on prescription pads, a failed war on drugs, and the overwhelming impact of cheap and powerful narcotics like fentanyl, there are factors financial, institutional, and cultural at play. And unsurprisingly, they’re very difficult to track and understand.

T

he Allegheny Department of Human Services and the Allegheny Health Department recently completed a joint study on intervention tactics and said, “Our ability to implement evidence-based strategies is limited by the fact that much about the victims is unknown.” The fact is, it’s tough to help addicts with treatments that work effectively as they need more data from those who struggle with addiction in order to modify treatment. They also mentioned that it was difficult to identify other health factors that may have contributed to the deaths of patients, and cited many deaths occur when other drugs like barbiturates are present in victims. Perhaps the most frustrating part of this ordeal is that experts say drug abuse in this region is old hat.

“Addiction in Southwestern PA is not new. When I first started working in the field in the early 80’s, heroin and other opioids were the primary drugs being used, and similar issues with overdoses were going on. Then crack cocaine displaced the opiates, and things have come back around to opiates being the primary drug being used. The difference that I have seen is the age of those who are using, and the age they are starting. Back in the 80’s those who we were seeing for heroin usage were older, in their forties, fifties, and sixties, and they had progressed through other drugs to the point of settling into heroin,” said Kevin Kordzi, Medical Education Unit Director at Resources for Human Development who directs a community residential program for individuals with mental health and substance abuse issues who are returning from prison called, Capitalizing on a Recovery Environment.

“In the late 90’s, I was working in Butler County when heroin first began sweeping through the county. The ages of people who were using changed dramatically as teenagers and young adults were the ones using heroin. And typically they started by snorting the drug with the false belief that they couldn’t get addicted if they snorted it rather than injected it. As heroin became more common, opiatebased pain pills were being prescribed much more readily, and once people got cut off by the doctors, the already established availability of heroin was an easily accessible replacement,” said Kordzi.

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Abuse of narcotics is a long term problem for Southwestern PA, so, too, is the state of the economy. Experts see poverty and drug abuse going hand in hand.

“Economics seems to be the common thread within the progression of drug usage and the types of drugs being used. In the 80’s, people began avoiding needles, and crack was readily available and cheap.

When heroin returned, it was cheap and highly potent, which allowed people to snort it rather than inject it, so they convinced themselves that they really weren’t addicts because they weren’t injecting.

However, as the person’s addiction progressed, it was cheaper and more efficient to inject, so they did. Recently, economics again entered the picture as fentanyl in its various forms has taken over, and to a large part, displaced heroin due to cost and potency,” said Kordzi.

The infrastructure of roadways in and around Pittsburgh and Washington County and their proximity to opioid-rich areas, makes bringing drugs into the greater Pittsburgh area fairly simple. Our road systems connect us to West Virginia, Ohio, and other parts of Pennsylvania that all suffer from higher than average overdose related deaths.

“First of all, we are part of a larger region that has experienced significant problems from opioids that includes much of the Northeastern United States, West Virginia, and Ohio. But from the onset, Southwestern PA unfortunately was ahead of many of these regions, and still is, with the magnitude of the problems that we experience,” said Neil A. Capretto, Medical Director of Gateway Rehab.

“For many of the towns and communities in Southwestern Pennsylvania that were economically depressed and still trying to recover from the loss of the steel mills, these prescription opioids became a valuable commodity on the streets, and literally created an underground economy. The price of oxycodone was initially going from $.50- $1.00 per milligram, and now it is usually one dollar or more per milligram, and the average person we were treating was using 180 mg or more per day,” said Capretto.

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“To make matters even worse in what I often refer to as the perfect storm, at the same time the cartels in Mexico started producing very high purity heroin, and started a very elaborate and intensive distribution system in Southwestern Pennsylvania.

They knew that there were now thousands of new people addicted to prescription opioids which, at some point, would lose their access to their supplier of the prescription opioids, or would no longer be able to afford [prescription drugs] as they developed higher tolerance. Without them, they would get very sick, and dealers would offer them this new and stronger heroin that would give them the same effect at about 20-25% of the daily cost. By the thousands, people in our region switched from prescription opioids to heroin use. Probably at least 80% of all new heroin users in our region started with prescription opioids. This has unfortunately led to increasing and record numbers of overdose deaths. To make matters even worse, in the last one to two years there is a growing pattern of replacing heroin with synthetic opioids, such as fentanyl and derivatives of fentanyl, which can be 50-100 or even more times stronger than heroin. This is leading to even more record numbers of overdose deaths,” said Capretto.

There are some other factors in this region with negative impact. Before we dive into that, let’s go back to the crux of addiction: feeling a certain way, not liking it, and wanting to feel differently.

The triggering emotion is negative, which leads to the question if there is anything particular in the environment in Southwestern PA that would impact our emotions negatively. There is extremely low sunlight in this area. Lack of sunlight normally leads to a Vitamin D deficiency, which can present as symptoms of depression. Another factor related to depression in lower income communities and food deserts, is poor diet and health. Nutritional deficiency leads to poor health, and its corresponding feelings of despondency.

Certain chemical combinations in processed foods can lead to feelings of malaise, as well . Combine these factors with economic strain, a culture of addiction, the normalization of drug use, and an overabundance of cheap, high-quality narcotics, and the resulting situation is one where drug use can become rampant.

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People are averse to change. We want to maintain our lifestyle and avoid any type of extreme changes. Even positive changes can make people feel uncomfortable and seem impossible. Change happens when the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of changing. In common terms, it’s called hitting rock bottom. For example, think of wearing a pair of snug-fitting jeans. They don’t feel comfy, but you wear them anyways because you can tolerate the discomfort. Now think of wearing a pair of jeans that are 3 sizes too small.

They are squeezing your stomach and legs so much that you cannot bear to wear them.

That motivates you to wear a different pair of pants. To do this with addiction, however, requires someone to admit that they have a problem, which is even more difficult. To get to the place where a person can admit that they have a problem is tough, and emtotionally draining. So what are the signs of addiction?

SYMPTOMS: You know you have a problem with drugs or alcohol if: You continue to use despite increasingly negative consequences You experience a loss of control when you use When drugs and or alcohol become the priority Other outward signs may include: Missing work more often Coping with emotional distress by using Withdrawing from family and loved ones Consistently craving for drugs and or alcohol Feeling triggered throughout the day to use If you’re suffering from addiction related problems, the next logical step is to look for treatment facilities. Most treatment facilities require a commitment of 30, 60, or 90 days, even as long as 6 months. For many, this is untenable, and it’s a huge deterrent for people seeking treatment. Oftentimes someone with addiction issues isn’t ready for this until things have become unbearable, or they are legally required to complete treatment. The other downside is that even when completing treatmnet, many times people have to “step down” to another treatment program that is less intensive. You keep doing this and, before you know it, you’ve been in rehab for 2 years.

Not everyone needs to be in treatment for 6 months. Some people can benefit greatly from outpatient therapy alongside a sobriety program such as AA, NA, or SMART recovery. This could be enough for people to stay sober.

Psychology Today has a great verified therapist directory with free access online at: therapists.psychologytoday.com Just look for addiction specialists and go from there. If you are in need of a higher level of care, your therapist can figure out what treatment program would be best for you. If you are in an emergency situation, addicted to heroin, or need to detox, check yourself into a rehab. White Deer Run is great for those who are interested in holistic treatment, and Gateway Rehab is fantastic for those who like more traditional 12-step treatment.

Sara Makin, M.S.Ed.,NCC Pre-Licensed Professional Counselor Owner of Makin Wellness #1 Best Seller “From Depression to Joy: A Parent’s Handbook for Teenage Wellness” www.amazon.com/dp/B0751FCW7H Twitter - @SaraMakin @MakinWellness Facebook - Facebook.com/MakinWellness Website - MakinWellness.com Instagram - @Makin_Wellness

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humanitarian spotlight

Photos by: Will Halim

At Storyburgh, we aim to give voice to marginalized demographics and the individuals and organizations that champion their causes. Over the past year we have shared and written a number of stories that highlight the efforts of these activists and humanitarians, but three in particular stood out. In a showing of gratitude for the opportunity to share their stories and showcase the people they have helped, we are profiling Sister Janice Vanderneck of the Sisters of St. Joseph, Shacoya Bates of Every Child, Inc., and Anthony Stewart of DECO Resources to catch-up and see what they are

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currently focusing on, and what 2018 has in store for their organizations.

To read the original stories, or to participate in story production, visit www.storyburgh.org

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Sister Janice Vanderneck Featured in “Sister Janice”

“I’m passionate and get involved in everything that I do, because I think it needs to be done,” Sister Janice Vanderneck said with a laugh. “I don’t have much spare time.”

Vanderneck has been with the Sisters of St. Joseph in Baden for 50 years and is a prominent figure in the Southwestern Pennsylvania Latino community for just as long. She became infatuated with the culture at a young age, as well as with her Catholic religion.

But before she became a Sister, Vanderneck was a missionary in Brazil and other South American countries for four years, and went on to teach Spanish in Pennsylvania and Florida. The school she taught at in Florida was south of Miami in a town called Perrine where many of her students and their parents were immigrants who only spoke Spanish.

It was her time as a teacher and missionary that revealed to her the poverty and lack of services for Latinos in the United States and abroad. Today, she is making sure that immigrants in Pittsburgh have a safe place to receive services, regardless of legal status.

In 2013, Casa San Jose was opened to honor and support Vanderneck’s ongoing work. Now located in Beechview, the space will continue to provide social services, health and legal advice to undocumented immigrants, and prepare them for situations with Immigration Customs Enforcement.

“It’s good to be present in the community where most of our clients live,” Vanderneck said. “Public transportation is very good, and the space is more adequate.”

Over the past year, Vanderneck has gained notoriety in the media for her activism during the Martin Esquivel-Hernandez case, a local father of three who was deported in February. The case gained national attention and sparked a larger immigration debate.

“ICE is arresting and taking fathers from families to be deported, and breaking-up families,” Vanderneck said.

“Additionally, I am very engaged to garner support for the Dreamers and giving them an opportunity to stay in this country legally, and have a work license.”

Dreamers are undocumented immigrants who came to the United States as children.

Lately, Vanderneck has been pleased with the youth programs provided by Casa San Jose for Latino immigrant children and teens at Beechwood Elementary School, Brashear High School, and Brookline Teen Outreach. Vanderneck said these programs allow children the opportunity to learn and, “Feel safe and understood”, when so much of their lives are filled with fear of ICE knocking on their doors.

It’s also hard to have a good sense of identity.

“It’s very difficult for low-income immigrants to figure out what culture [they] actually belong in,” Vanderneck said.

For more information on Casa San Jose or to volunteer, visit www.casasanjose.org.

Sister Janice at a rally in Downtown Pittsburgh last winter.

Bates helps a client fill out forms and book hotel reservations for a conference on ADHD and Executive Function.

Bates said the work she and her colleagues are doing now is shaping how future generations will receive social services.

She has faced stereotypes from parents, who think it’s a caseworker’s prerogative to take their children away, but Bates wants to bridge that gap. “I let communities know that we are there for them, and that starts with teaching workers to develop positive relationships with parents and the communities,” Bates said.

Shacoya Bates

Featured in, “Loving A 24-Hour Child” & “In This House There Isn’t Chaos” Shacoya Bates said she has always been a person who feels, “A lot of joy and satisfaction from being able to help others. Especially when they want to accomplish something and I can help them with their goals,” Bates said. “I like seeing growth in people.” As the SWAN Program Supervisor and Caregiver Family Support Program Coordinator for Every Child, Inc., it seems that she has found her niche.

Before landing at Every Child, Bates worked at the Western Psychiatric Institute where she met a coworker named Kim Davis who inspired and validated her mission. Bates said in her profession, it isn’t out of the ordinary to be told not to go the extra mile with clients, but Davis applauded Bates’ tenacity.

“She made me look deeper into myself, so I can positively effect the people I bring in as staff. I want them to be as passionate [as myself] and care about the work we are providing and the communities we serve,” Bates said.

Recently, Bates has been focusing much of her time on the Family Caregiver Support program that provides services to relatives, family members, and other caregivers that have taken in children. Bates said a large reason for this is due to the opioid epidemic that is sweeping the country. The program specifically helps those who are not receiving aid from Child Welfare or the Juvenile Court System, and it provides services that promote well-being and support healthy positive functioning between child[ren] and caregivers.

The Pregnancy Program is another service from Every Child that Bates is reshaping, which links expectant mothers with trained doulas. A doula is a person who supports pregnant women before, during, and after pregnancy. Those with little to no support in birth education can be paired with a doula through the Pregnancy Program and be referred to other service providers when needed.

“I want to let the communities know that we are [here] for them,” Bates said.

For a list of services or to volunteer with Every Child, visit www.everychildinc.org.

Anthony Stewart

BRING THE FAMILY...

Featured in, “The Power To Save Lives” & “Lead Laden Soil” Anthony Stewart, president and environmental director of DECO Resources, said he initially tried to avoid a career in the sciences because of his family’s extensive background in the subject. In elementary school, Stewart’s mom was also his science teacher, and his grandfather had been her science professor in college. In 1976, his grandmother founded the first female-owned laboratory in Pennsylvania, and his father is a chemist who owned the family laboratory until recently.

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Professor Chris Gordon, director of the Institute of Environmental and Sanitation Studies at the University of Ghana, had a particularly large impact on Stewart. It was Gordon who taught him the importance of water quality and security for all.

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Upon entering college, Stewart pursued a degree in visual arts, but within a few years he found himself studying sustainable development during a semester at sea. He traveled to eight different countries and was taught by professors from all over the world. Stewart said he was able to learn how each country managed their water systems through different types of infrastructure, and how they dealt with social issues through sustainability.

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“So that was really, I think, the launching point with knowing that this is what I wanted to do,” Stewart said. At Stewart testing water from the spring in Spring Hill. The water did not pass the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Protection standard for safe drinking water.

the time, he was studying at Clarion University, but after returning to the states he transferred to the University of Pittsburgh for its environmental studies major. One day nearing graduation, Stewart was grabbing lunch at the Carson Street Deli in the South Side. He noticed a rain barrel outside of the building, and found out it belonged to an environmental company on the second floor.

Stewart researched the company and then went to meet with them. “I went in and said, ‘You can pay, or I’m going to work for free, but I’m going to work for you,’ and they hired me on and that was literally the beginning of my career.” Stewart was hired as an environmental consultant, and managed water contamination and solar-powered treatment systems for communities in developing nations.

He traveled to Brazil to learn about a ground water remediation project, and then to Nigeria to implement the system. While there, Stewart’s company ran out of money. His boss told him that had fired everyone, and when he returned, his job was next. “My head was spinning. Then I thought, ‘What if we sell this system?’ “ Stewart and his boss put together a plan with two of their Nigerian contacts which resulted in a signed contract for $27 million, although some specifics are still being clarified.

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After returning to the states, he had only one project to oversee for the company, and that wasn’t enough to make ends meet. He began testing water for the environmental company out of his dad’s laboratory, and started consulting for a friend’s construction company.

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“I was basically working for three different companies on several different projects, and a year later I said, ‘I can turn this into a company,’ “ Stewart said. His goal was to provide green solutions following the process of design, engineering, construction, and operations, “Hence the name, DECO.”

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Currently, Stewart is working on a project with a local elementary school to, “Create a backbone for a new type of infrastructure that doesn’t rely on power grids.” The elementary school will be powered by an aquaponics system combined with solar panels, and the students will learn how to write code that will be used to run the pumps and other functions in the aquaponics system. He has also been working with the Pittsburgh Hop Company, and implemented an irrigation system using similar technology.

“As our world becomes more digital, there are so many cool opportunities of what we can do with technology,” Stewart said.

For more information on DECO Resources, visit www.deco-resources.com.

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MATTERS OF THE heart

?

Dating and relationship advise from Susan Dunhoff, professional matchmaker and relationship adviser, and her executive assistant, Nicole Bruno. Both are with The Modern Matchmaker here in Pittsburgh and volunteered to answer some of our reader’s relationship advice inquiries.

We put out a call each issue to hear from our readers with their stories and questions about everything Pittsburgh dating. We’ve put together an advice column answering some of the texts, emails, and facebook messages we received, changed the names to protect the innocent, and asked our friends at Modern Matchmaker what they thought. What courtship queries do you have?

What do you think of our advice? Write us at: moth@steelthismag.com

The Language of Love:

?

So, to spice things up in the bedroom I put on a wig and talked to my partner in a foreign accent. He loved it. Now, he wants me to do it all the time. Is this weird?

-Forlorn Linguist

Dear Forlorn Linguist, It’s exciting to spice things up in your sex life every once in a while, but I understand your need for pillow talk in the bedroom to revert back to its original state. Explain how you feel and communicate your preferences and needs to your partner. It’s not weird, but it’s selfish to ask someone to put on a wig and speak in a foreign accent every time you have sex with them, especially if that makes them feel uncomfortable and unsatisfied.

Your partner should be turned on without you having to pretend to be someone else whenever intimacy occurs.

Turndown Service:

?

What’s the best way I can turn down a date? I’ve always gotten asked out a lot. If I go out to a bar, I’ll inevitably get chatted up by a few guys. I feel like if I say I have a boyfriend, then I’m relying on another man’s protection and that it’s a stupid excuse, but I do say that a lot. What’s a better alternative? If someone’s being polite and flirting with me I don’t like the burden of trying to be nice and coming up with some justification for not wanting their attention.

-Table for one

Small Minded Small Town:

?

I’m dealing with a lot of homophobia here in Pittsburgh.

Any tips for people reading who might be narrow-minded bigots?

How about some advice for them?

-Pissed off Pittsburgher

Dear Table for one, Do not feel stupid for using this excuse, you can use whatever excuse you please. However, a better alternative for declining a man’s invitation for a date would be to remain honest in saying you are not interested in him.

If you feel that it’s appropriate, let him know you’re flattered by the invitation, but you decline. Believe it or not, men appreciate honesty, especially if it’s presented to them in a gentle and polite manner.

If you are at the bar, another alternative to getting away from guys you’re not interested in is to say you have to go to the bathroom or need to make a quick phone call, disappear and excuse yourself from the situation, and move to a different location in the bar and strike up a conversation with someone else nearby.

Dear Pissed off Pittsburgher, I am sorry you are experiencing homophobia in Pittsburgh! I’d highly suggest for narrow-minded readers to treat others the way they would want to be treated and to learn to accept what they cannot change.

Difference is not something to fear, but something to value and to respect. Hatred won’t eliminate those who are different from us; therefore, it’s a waste of emotional energy to hate others who are different from us. Imagine all the things people could do if they let go of the hatred and the anger that seems to live inside of them. If we all were the same, the world would be quite boring and uneventful.

As a narrow-minded reader, you don’t have to change your opinion or stance on certain political issues, but it is important to treat others with the respect you expect from them. No one deserves to experience the pain that comes from acts of homophobia, racism, sexism, or transphobia.

Please don’t continue to spread hatred in a world that needs love and acceptance so much more.

Dough To Go On a chilly evening in March I was driving home after work to make dinner with the kids. It was my turn to cook that evening but at 6:30 I had no time to shop. So, I pulled over to to grab a pie at a place my friends have been raving about, Crust Cafe and Pizzeria in Upper St. Clair.

I walked in during a dinner rush and surveyed the dining room. Delicious sandwiches, Sicilian and Hand-Tossed Pizza, bottles of wine (This place is BYOB!) the place was buzzing! The smells were enough to make my mouth water. I stepped to the counter to order a pizza to go.

“Take and bake?” asked the counter girl.

“Take and... what?” I responded, a bit perplexed.

“Yeah, we make fresh dough every day, toss it, cover it with our signature pizza sauce and fresh cheese. We use market fresh toppings of your choice, shrink wrap it and you can bake it at home like it came fresh from our oven.”

“How long do I have to cook the pie?”

“As long as you bake it within 24 hours, you’re fine. Just pop it in your oven and you’ll have a perfect pizza in 15 minutes. Plus, all Take and Bake pizzas are discounted.”

Sold.

I jumped in my car, called my wife and had the oven pre-heated by the time I got home. I let my kids open up the package. They peeled back the lid to reveal our gourmet treasure inside. We slid it into the oven and within minutes the house flled with the wonderful aroma of a fresh home cooked meal.

The crust slowly turned golden brown, the pepperoni sizzled and my son counted down the minutes as the cheese slowly melted. We sat at the table and devoured the pie in minutes fat. Crispy, hot and fresh from my oven.

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Dating Around:

?

I’ve been dating three different people over the last few months. I like all of them, but don’t want anything serious. If I tell them about each other they’ll probably get jealous. Do I owe them an explanation?

-Secretive Seductor

Me Too:

?

Class It Up:

No, you don’t owe them an explanation.

It is acceptable to date more than one person until you determine to whom you gravitate. Keeping your options open in the beginning may help you gain a deeper understanding of what you are looking for in an ideal partner.

The only explanation they deserve is the one regarding your true intentions.

Dear Pittsburgh men, stop taking me to eat wings at a bar with TVs on the wall.

Be honest with yourself and your partners about your aims in regards to dating. Explain to them that you are just casually dating, having fun, and not interested in anything serious right now. If you remain honest about your intentions and emotions, you will have a clear conscience, and you may weed out and save the time of your prospects looking for something more serious.

Can we address the real problem with dating? Violent sexual assault perpetrated by men.

-Sick of It All

Dear Sick of It All, Not all dating involves violence of any kind. And when it does, in some instances, women are at fault, not just men. There are precautions that both men and women can take to prevent violent behavior and sexual assault on dates. If you insist on using online dating, background check your date prior to accepting and never get in your date’s car until you know them well, and never on the first date. I also advise carrying mace or some kind of alarm with you at all times. Keep it within easy reach. You can even hook it on your purse to be seen. If your date starts saying inappropriate things, or acts improperly, or seems intoxicated, call an Uber immediately and leave. Remove yourself from any seemingly dangerous situation before it progresses.

?

Dear Secretive Seductor,

-Doomed Diner

Dear Doomed Diner, It sounds like you are dating the wrong type of men.

Please don’t lose hope or make generalizations about all of the men in Pittsburgh. I can promise you, chivalry is not dead.

Gentlemen with class exist in Pittsburgh, and they are ready and willing to wine and dine a woman they are genuinely interested in getting to know. Don’t allow the wrong guys to cause you to become jaded or feel doomed. Some men honestly don’t think about how impersonal it is to take a woman to a bar on a first date. You will continue to receive what you allow to continue. Break the cycle!

To avoid ending up at a sports bar on your next date, try recommending another restaurant. You can never go wrong with making a suggestion!

?

Dear Looking for Love, Yes! I believe in soul mates.

Successful relationships have an emotional connection with depth, not just a surface connection.

This occurs when both partners truly care about each other and are excited for their next date.

And when feelings are genuine, intimacy is always better. You know when you’ve met the right person when you don’t have to ask yourself, “Am I in love?”

Searching for The One: How do you know when you’ve met the right person? Do you believe in soul mates?

-Looking For Love

Offending Odor:

?

Dear Offended Olfactory, This problem has to be handled vary carefully so as not to insult your partner. This is not crazy, as other people have also commented. And she is well aware of it. This foul odor can be caused by her expired cologne, hair color or products, scented deodorant or her detergent. Even old shoes can smell bad. I would recommend that she tries switching the brands of various products to see if the odor disappears.

If she refuses, then unfortunately you have no choice but to exit the relationship.

This is crazy, I know, but this girl I’m seeing has a strange smell. It’s not her breath, it’s not body odor, it’s just something I get a whiff of now and then.

I mentioned it to her, and she said that people have told her that before, and she’s not sure what to do. I don’t think I can take it much longer. Am I a bad person for bailing?

-Offended Olfactory

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Strike Two:

?

I asked this girl out that I met at a PPL kickball game, but she said she wasn’t interested at the time.

We’ve seen each other socially a few times since then and we’ve had a good time. I think she may have changed her mind, am I being creepy if I ask again?

-Kickballer’s Quandry

I do not think it would be creepy of you to ask again, but it may appear obsessive and you may present yourself as someone that cannot handle rejection or respect the word, “NO.” I understand that you may have a sincere interest in this woman, but she may not have mutual feelings toward you, or she may not want your relationship to surpass friendship or the kickball team. I would respect her by accepting her initial response.

Getting together socially and having a good time is not exactly an indication of romantic interest. It is what it is, which is simply getting together socially and having a good time.

On the other hand, if she has shown you signs of romantic interest since her initial declination, then taking a second stab at asking her out might be worth your while. It does not hurt to check in later with someone to see if they have changed their mind; however, if her answer remains the same the second time around, respect her decision and move on to someone who shares a mutual interest in going on a first date and getting to know one another.

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MISS LORETTA’S CORNER

An Oral History of Mid-Century Lawrenceville through the Eyes of Loretta Millender By: John Dubosky

Welcome to the second installment of our conversation with Loretta Millender.

She’s a Lawrenceville staple who’s spent more than 70 years working in this perpetually evolving section of Pittsburgh.

In this column we’ll follow a 13-year-old Millender as she transitions from work at Miss Ada White’s boarding house for black railway porters to earning a reputation for herself around town as a clever and trustworthy worker. After becoming known in the neighborhood, she meets a bookie and his wife who involve her in their gambling operation, running numbers for the neighborhood’s betting population.

Miss Loretta Millender, in her own words: After working with the black porters, I went to work for Zule’s Cleaners. It was right down at 28th Street. Zule’s Cleaners was not far from Klavon’s Drug Store, which is on the corner of 28th Street. I worked for both families. Mr. Zule found out about me through the neighborhood.

He found out that here’s a 12 or 13-yearold girl running around with a little red wagon collecting Pepsi-Cola bottles. I’d get two cents from them. Mr Zule got in touch with my mother and asked would she let her daughter help his wife. Mrs. Zule had just given birth to a few children but had become weak, and needed help with the kids and her housework while her husband ran the laundry.

My mom was still working with Miss Ada White at the boarding house. I was only going in when the black porters were in town so I went down to Mr. Zule’s. They had 4 rooms and a bath up there over top of the cleaners in the Strip District. He said, “Loretta, if you help my wife, I’ll give you $2 a week. Then, I’ll clean your school clothes and you can bring your sister’s school clothes down and I’ll clean them, too.” I said, “What do I have to do?” So he shut and locked the front door of the cleaners and he took me through the shop to the back of the house. He was showing me how to go in the back so I didn’t walk through the cleaners. I got up to the upstairs with his wife and her three little boys. So I sat there with his wife, she was frail, tiny. I said, “Miss Zule, what do you want me to do?” She said, “Scrub, mop up, tend to the boys.”

So, I became the nanny, the housekeeper a few hours a week. Mostly on Saturdays.

Mr. Zule would do my skirts and stuff, and my sister’s. Back then you washed with a scrub board in a big tub. And people went to the bath house and you could wash for 10 cents and dry for 15 cents. If you couldn’t afford to go there, most people had a gray number two tub. And you had a scrub board and you would wash that way and hang them on the line, then iron and starch them. So, for me to go to the cleaners was like, I was important, I was rich.

Across the street was Klavon’s Drug Store.

It’s still there, it’s Klavon’s Ice Cream now.

Mr. Klavon was the druggist, the old man.

I hadn’t met his son yet, the doctor, who lived around the corner from me. He found out about me and asked me if I would like to sweep out their shop. And I would sweep out the store and he would give me fifty cents and I would have ice cream sodas. I could eat or just ask them for penny candy, so on and so on. Now, by this time people were getting the word that Loretta would do this or do that and work.

And I was trustworthy to them; I didn’t steal anything.

This is when, walking up the street one day, I met the numbers man. His wife asked me would I help her, and I said, “Yes ma’am, what do you want me to do? I have to ask my mother.” And she said, “I already asked your mom. Any time after you get done with your homework and you have some free time and want to come here and do something for me, it was ok with her.”

They had a pot-bellied stove, a great big black stove you fed with wood and coal.

At that time there was electricity, but we didn’t have gas stoves. I sat in the middle of the kitchen, I had to feed that stove to have it ready for her to cook on whenever I went to her. They had wooden floors, no carpeting, no tile, no linoleum, so I wore these pads on my knees and I scrubbed.

I had a scrub brush and lye soap—it was tough work. My knees are hurting right to this day because of it. And you would scrub this area and move down, the kitchen was small and then you had another room about the same size. And then her husband came in, and I was sitting there helping his wife with some figures on a piece of paper, and he said to me:

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His wife was sitting right there so I knew it was nothing wrong as far as an old man to a young girl. He said, “I need somebody to go down to the incinerator on Smallman Street.”

That’s where the rubbish men were. I said, “I know where that is. I go there all the time.” He said, “I know, I’ve seen you. You have a little red wagon. What are you doing with that down

there?” I said, “I collect PepsiCola bottles, Coca-Cola bottles.

Wash them out, you get 2 cents.”

He said, “You’re really a little hustler.” I said, “Ok, so what do you want me to do?”

“You’re going to be a number runner. But the police will not suspect you because you’re young, and you got the wagon and the pop bottles. The police are watching me, but they ain’t watching you.”

He asked me to go down there and take little slips of paper from the rubbish men. Then he wanted me to put their name on it and their total. I said, “The total of what?” He said, “They’re gonna’ give you something like this,” and he showed me a number. “It might say five cents, or 12 cents, 20 cents… make sure you put their name there. Can you write like that?” I told him, “Yes sir, I’m in middle school now.” He wanted me to go down there every day after school and get the numbers for the next day, because I was in school and I was too late for the numbers for that day.

I asked the man what his name was. “Skunk Hollow Red,” was his answer. I said, “What?” Again he said, “Skunk Hollow Red.” He had reddish hair. I said, “They call you Skunk?” he said, “No. Skunk Hollow Red.” I said, “Ok Mr. Skunk Hollow Red.” He said, “You don’t have to call me, ‘Mr.’, just call me—,” and I told him no, I had to call him mister. My mother had taught me that. I asked how much I could make and he told me three dollars, six dollars, maybe even eight dollars if I was good at running.

“What’s running?” I asked. Skunk Hollow Red told me, “You’re going to be a number runner. But the police ain’t gonna suspect you because you’re young, and you got the wagon and the pop bottles. The police are watching me, but they ain’t watching you.”

He gave me extra money because a lot of the people couldn’t write and I had to help them with their numbers. He told the rubbish men about me one day while I was at school. When I started going down there they had a great big furnace that they threw trash in. And my father was a rubbish worker and drove the rubbish truck after he came from the service, he was military. But, at the time, my father wasn’t there, because he would have been mad had he found out I was making money from gambling.

He did eventually find out what I had done later when he returned, but he didn’t get mad. I was helping my mother who had six kids and they only got so much money from the service. I was the one that was working. I would go and collect the numbers after school, take them back to Mr. Skunk Hollow Red, and after he tallied up everything from the week, I would get paid, five dollars, three dollars, ten dollars. That was a lot for a kid to get paid back then. I was really rich in a sense! I had Mr. Klavon, I had Skunk Hollow Red, I had Zule’s Cleaners. So people started finding out about me; I was trustworthy. And, all these old people, white and black, that couldn’t write because they had only gone so far in school. I would go to their house and I would tally up their numbers. They would have a sheet of paper this long, and it’d only come to 10 cents or 18 cents, it was a half a cent for this number, that number was a half a cent, combined it was one penny. I’d combine half cents; I had to have that knowledge. I was making

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A Brush with History

by Skipper Anderson

Pat and I were friends almost from the delivery room. I was born at the end of August and he was born seventeen days later, on September 11th. We attended the same Catholic grade and high schools, played together, shared an almost religious love of baseball, hung around with the same girls, stood by each other always, were each other’s best men and, when I was drafted, the moron enlisted in the Air Force with the spurious (albeit superbly loyal) reasoning that if I was going, he might as well, too. These things I mention as background for what happened later in Asia.

Most people I knew while serving in Vietnam attempted to schedule their R&R (Rest & Relaxation, though the idea was to get little of the former) about 8 or 9 months into their one year tour. The thought was that you would be down to less than 120 days left in country following R&R. A person had a choice of destinations: Hawaii, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, Kuala Lumpur, Manila, Singapore, Taipei, or Tokyo. Hawaii was reserved for married couples. So, my first thought was Sydney because of the abundant tales concerning tall, blonde Aussie gals who loved Americans. Even if this was bullshit, the siren call cannot be ignored. Then I got a letter from Pat. He was stationed just outside the Taiwanese capital of Taipei. He assured me I’d like Taipei far more than any group of willowy Australian beauties. It would be the best time ever, a hoot, epical!

In late April 1970, I took a helicopter to Cam Ranh Bay, then a C-130 to Tan Son Nhut Air Base in Saigon. I was informed that my flight would leave the next day, and told to go enjoy both my extra day off from the conflict and the local night life.

For no reason that I can remember, I ended up in Cholon, the Chinese area of Saigon. The night was spent drinking with some Australian soldiers (Australia, along with New Zealand, Thailand, South Korea and the Philippines, provided troops in support of the US effort). I woke up in the airport the next morning with no idea of how I had gotten there. A memory exists of dancing on the bar singing, Waltzing Matilda, and having one of the guys from Down Under call me a moron for not choosing Sydney. Ya gotta love the Aussies!

Near death from the hangover, the flight to Taipei was blessedly short, and I was delivered to my hotel by late afternoon. Following a quick call to Pat, we began a week of drunken debauchery which is, I am certain, still listed as essential in the R&R playbook. This was no different than the thousands of other guys, and some gals,

who were away from the war for a few wonderful days. In honor of Bacchus, no expense was spared. As an example, during my stay I spent around $1200, which would be well over $10,000 in today’s currency. Upon awakening the first morning in my palatial room, I ordered Mandarin Duck and a wonderful lobster dish, along with a bottle of champagne. Money didn’t mean shit!

Most of our activities during my stay were low class in nature, perhaps even white trashy. We did manage to spend a day at the beach, and even visited an elegant Buddhist temple. Late one morning, after a few adult beverages, Pat was making suggestions on how we should spend the day. He then dropped this bombshell: Chiang Kai-shek lived in a palace in this very city! Why, one might ask, was I so astounded by this news? Allow some elaboration.

The date World War II began is arguable. Some historians say it started with the Japanese invasion of Manchuria. Others, the invasion of Poland. On a global scale, I believe it wasn’t until the US was drawn into the conflict. Regardless, in 1942, almost the entire civilized world was trying its damnedest to be uncivil.

Germany, Italy and Japan were the miscreants. Leading the crusade against these brigands were Great Britain, the Soviet Union, and the US. China and France rounded out the Big 5.

As of April 1970, Churchill, Roosevelt, and Stalin were all dead.

Charles de Gaulle and Chiang (who fled to Taiwan following the Chinese Civil War) were the last surviving cast members of that compelling drama. This would certainly be my only opportunity to get to meet any of these characters. Late that morning, Pat assured me that we would try to pay a social call on the Generalissimo and the lovely Madame Chiang.

Our hometown paper ran a section titled, We Saw You At. Patrick spun a tale of a picture taken of him and me arm in arm with

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Mr. and Mrs. Kai-shek in front of the fireplace, perhaps with snifters of brandy, and, of course, 50 cent cigars. When we got home, we would be celebrated as local heroes, wined and dined and pursued, naturally, by discerning females. Hell, we were probably doing our part in bettering relations between our two countries. If this sounds like Ralphie’s daydream about his rifle in, A Christmas Story, you are not far from the truth.

After a few more drinks to brace our courage, we took a taxi to as close as we could get to Chiang’s compound. The place was formidable. There was an impressive wall surrounding what was apparently a park with a mansion in its center. I remember this area as being spotless, as if peasants came out at night and swept and dusted the grounds and streets around it. One sensed that this was a place of destiny.

We disembarked from our ride about a block away from the entrance. Walking toward the main gate, you could see the sun reflected off the lovingly polished bayonets. As we got closer, you could see the crisp perfection of the guards’ uniforms. About 20 feet out, I saw that these fellows were as tall as I was and looked fierce. Rather than disturbing me, this was exactly what I would expect at the estate of our ally.

So, brazen as brass, we approached the sentries. From out of the gate appeared, smoke-like, the captain of the guard who looked as if he had graduated from the Shaolin Temple. He asked us our purpose. We told him we were there to pay our respects to the Generalissimo and his wife. He betrayed no emotion, looked us over as if we were beneath his contempt, and said simply, “Go.” Not to be dismissed so easily, I said something to the effect of, “Look here my good man.” The Captain quietly issued an order to the guards, and they snapped to present arms. The choice was clear, retreat in disgrace, or take a shiny bayonet to the nether regions.

We departed in abject defeat; rejected at the gates of history.

Young people are resilient, so Pat and I quickly moved on from this disgrace. I spent the remainder of my visit as soldiers are meant to spend time off. As a measure of the success of my R&R, when I returned to my company, several guys told me, “You look like shit!” Mission accomplished.

In later years, Pat and I would occasionally discuss our close call with history, always with laughter. I believe that with good friends the story is as important as the outcome, but it sure would have been nice to have been celebrated in our home town.

Chiang died in 1975, the last surviving member of the Big 5.

Madame Chiang passed in 2003 at the impressive age of 105.

Neither ever got to meet Pat or me. Pat joined his ancestors in 2002, taking part of my soul with him.

In an historical footnote, Dick Nixon went to China in 1972, eventually bypassing Taiwan and making mainland China our partner. Screw you Chiang!

HOLIDAY 2017

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CROSSWORD

OVER THE LINE Across 1 "___ the Wild Things Are" 6 What many a hyperlink connects to 9 Best effort, in athletics 14 Persian king in "300" 15 Edinburgh "uh-uh" 16 Danza's "Who's the Boss?" co-star 17 Pacifiers' rubbery parts 18 ___-cone 19 One can gain it with clearance 20 Another way to say this puzzle's theme 23 "___ grip!"

24 Hoity-toity 25 Kim of "L.A. Confidential," 1997 27 Thereabouts 28 Canadien nickname 29 "Go ahead, make my day!"

32 Championship 34 Restaurant review resource 35 Another way to say this puzzle's theme 40 Midwest tribe 41 "Six Degrees of Separation" playwright 42 Pub munchies 45 Assn. of the Earthquakes and the Fire 46 Prep exam for high school Juniors 49 Maiden in a tower 51 "I ___ I taw a puddy tat" 52 File extension for internet video downloads

By: Daniel Finan 54 Another way to say this puzzle's theme 56 Charlie Chaplin's wife, and others of the same name 58 "I ___ Man of Constant Sorrow" 59 Peyton Manning's line-ofscrimmage call 60 Hot and steamy 61 One of Roberto Clemente's 440: Abbr.

62 Negligent 63 ___ Lodge 64 Member of the fam 65 Glorify Down 1 Mixologist's personal amenity 2 Grade school basics, jokingly 3 Precise, to Pablo 4 Give another whirl 5 "Steppenwolf" author Hermann ___ 6 Like loose cannons 7 Tehran natives 8 Canonized pope after John XI 9 Identify 10 Schweppes product 11 Sasha Fierce, to Beyonce 12 "Attention, ___ shoppers..."

13 "Only Time" singer 21 Take ___ (lose big, financially) 22 Terminus 26 Star admirers

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Head check?

Leader in American macabre Salt Lake City collegian Town overlooking the Bay of Naples Roman ___ "Big Girls Don't Cry" falsetto Ernie's milieu Golfers Sam and J.C. Costa Rica neighbor Language in which "safari" means "journey"

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THE STATE OF

CINEMA IN PITTSBURGH

BY: ERIC BOYD

Pittsburgh will always be a city of contradictions. Many of the good things in the region are either overshadowed by bad ones, or are simply ignored. A surprising area where this is true is Pittsburgh’s movie theater scene...

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...Local multiplexes are scrambling to fill screens with different content (surprised, apparently, that they couldn’t just run the latest transformers and/or marvel movie in five auditoriums). Meanwhile, indie theaters walk the tightrope of working together and rooting for each other while rushing to beat one another in securing films, not to mention the constant battle for indie theaters to stay open at all. It is neither a joyous nor a dark time for the cinema in pittsburgh, but rather a strange one, as it seems to have always been.

Theater attendance is down. Audiences in 2017 are projected to spend two billion dollars more on streaming than at the box office, and the reasoning is easy: people want more options. Of course, you can argue that most streaming services have conned audiences in the same way multiplexes did in the nineties. What difference is there in AMC charging up to $15 or more for a movie ticket for a film playing on six screens and Netflix increasing their monthly cost while cutting content to clear room for their own?

In both cases the provider is presenting a false concept of choice: “You can watch anything we pick for you.” Netflix can begin mirroring traditional cable and get away with it as long as their content is good. However, multiplexes can’t continue to operate with subpar programming when they charge more than ever and struggle to fill screens with a variety of films.

“We saw, Ingrid Goes West, at the [Cinemark] theater in Robinson,” says Aaron Stubna, owner of the Parkway Theatre in McKees Rocks. “It was me, my wife, and two other people. It was a quirky film that maybe shouldn’t have played there at all. It was a film that belonged at my theater.”

Stubna has been operating the Parkway since 2011, after looking at revitalizing the Garden Theatre in the Northside. He took many of the ideas from that plan and implemented them into the Parkway after the McKees Rocks Community Development Corporation asked Stubna to look at the old space.

“I used to go to the Parkway as a kid so I figured I’d check it out. It seemed a lot bigger then, but I guess I was smaller. Still, I knew I could do something with the space.”

The first screenings at the new Parkway were on Halloween of 2011. The screen consisted of two sewn-together bed sheets. Since then things have changed.

Operating the building as a nonprofit, Stubna has managed to renovate the Parkway in impressive fashion, even when much of the materials are donated.

After closing for the first half of 2017, the Parkway reopened this fall with a new, fullservice bar and lounge, an entirely new auditorium space, and a craft brewery, Abjuration Brewing, making beer on-site.

The desire to innovate seems to envelop every part of the Parkway, whether it’s Stubna’s programming choices (often favoring indie and art films, documentaries, and foreign films that nobody else in the area is carrying), the craft beer, or special dinner-and-a-movie nights such as Spaghetti Western Wednesday. Stubna is even proud to offer the theater to indie filmmakers to showcase their own works for free.

“You have to get creative,” Stubna says.

“We have to feel like we offer something no one else is.”

Offering a unique experience is a common thread. While the Parkway is the first to offer craft beer on-site, the Manor in Squirrel Hill has had a bar for a few years, and AMC at the Waterfront several years before that. The Phoenix (formerly Destina) Theatre in North Versailles has an upstairs with a bar, full arcade, and a pool hall. The Hollywood in Dormont has special posters created for them and participates in Art House Theater Day, a national effort to get audiences to appreciate their local indies not unlike national Record Store Day. For programming, few people have made greater efforts to diversify the local film slate than Harish Sajula. A film producer, musician, and painter, Sajula—raised in Punjab, India before moving to Pittsburgh in the early seventies—has been running the popular Silk Screen Film Festival for over a decade, creating the event in 2005.

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Silk Screen, which shows Asian films from Turkey to Japan, has usually ran out of the Regent Square Theater. This year, however, he was forced to move the festival to the Harris Theater downtown.

“Losing the Regent Square was a huge blow,” Sajula admits. “Few people want to see a film downtown. Between traffic and parking, it was harder to attract an audience.”

Both the Regent and the Harris, as well as the Melwood Screening Room, are run by Pittsburgh Filmmakers, a nonprofit media arts school which has struggled in recent years due to budget deficits. The Silk Screen Fest’s move was affected by this, with the Regent Square having to close after their projector broke. The Regent reopened on Halloween, but far after Sajula’s annual event. He laments the current state of film culture.

“I used to go see a film with friends, then afterwards go to a restaurant or a bar and discuss that film for hours. Very little being released at big theaters today is worth talking about.”

Of the indie fare available, Sajula admits there are good films coming out, but nobody is seeing them. At least not here. “For my festival, I get three or four thousand people each year,” Sajula says. “This is pretty good, but have you ever heard of a little town called Cleveland? They invest in their culture. The Cleveland Film Festival gets—are you sitting down?” Sajula chuckles.“They claim to get ninety thousand people in attendance at their festival. Even if they were lying by double, it would still be forty-five thousand.”

Comparatively it is shocking, especially when you consider the number of Pittsburgh theatres.

To do another comparison, New York City has roughly one movie theater per four hundred thousand residents. Pittsburgh has roughly one for every fourteen thousand.

However, New

York is in the middle of a massive facelift effort for its theaters while many in our area are closing (think of the Loews in North Versailles that’s now a flea market, the Drive-in in Robinson which is now a Sheetz, or the Squirrel Hill Theater which now is just empty).

Yet not all is lost. Pittsburgh Filmmakers continues to be a beacon for local film culture; Sajula calls them invaluable, and is excited to see the Regent Square reopen. Even their prolonged temporary closing has a silver lining, as it allowed further renovation efforts to occur. This was done at the insistence of a, “Friend of the Regent Square Theater” community, which was formed after rumors of a permanent closure. The people who love their theaters here, really love them.

For everything that looks grim, as much looks bright. While articles detail how only 25% of millennials have ever seen a classic film from the 1940’s-50’s, the Row House Cinema in Lawrenceville— which specializes in curating classic films from the twentieth century—was voted the best movie theater in Pittsburgh by the City Paper. Indie theater owners are becoming keen negotiators, able to secure new arthouse films at ticket percentages instead of paying an overall fee, which means a flop now and then won’t hurt the quality of overall programing. Add in national news such as the popularity of the new MoviePass program (a monthly service, now headed by a former Netflix founder, which allows members to see one film every day for $9.95), and things start to look a little better.

Speaking of his theater, Aaron Stubna says, “I think things will work out.”

However, he could easily be speaking of the entire region.

Eric Boyd is a Pittsburgh based journalist, novelist, and short story writer.

EricBoydFilm@ gmail.com

GIRLS WRITE PITTSBURGH: Contextualizing Empowerment Through Youth Writing Workshops By: Amy Maurine Edwards

Vivian Lee Croft, founder of Girls Write Pittsburgh, grew up in a small farming town where creativity and self expression weren’t always applauded. “Agriculture was the main focus. Exploring creativity wasn’t really encouraged,” Croft said.

Looking back on her high school years, she remembers a distinct lack of access to other writers, “I felt very different, very alone in that respect. I didn’t have a lot of friends who were interested in writing, so I didn’t have anyone to share that. I also lacked mentors to guide me through the transition of high schooler to college student to professional, and I wanted to be a writer, a journalist, actually. Without

anyone to help me, I had to figure it all out myself. I think if I’d had someone in my life to help me navigate my teen years alongside pursuing my dreams of becoming a journalist, and helping me figure out what I needed to do to get there, I would have had a much easier go at life.”

While in college at Duquesne, she focused on creative writing and received degrees in English, communications, and rhetorical studies. With her degrees in hand she hosted a travel TV show for a public television station, and published travel articles. Croft then secured another degree, this time in journalism. She kept writing and even started work on her memoir.

Fast forward to 2016, and Croft created the Girls Write Pittsburgh program. She designed the workshops, which meet weekly in Brookline and Garfield (at Assemble) for, “self-identified girls who already enjoy writing and want to get better at it, want to sit alongside peers who also enjoy it.” Every quarter, they’ll take a field trip or participate in a larger workshop related to a genre, whether it be poetry, comedy, songwriting or another creative endeavor. In addition to providing technical feedback on the girls’ work, Croft brings in facilitators versed in a variety of fields, including mental health professionals, to attend the workshops.

Since then, their Brookline meetings have

Left to right: 1. Quarterly workshop on Sketch Comedy. 2. Saturday Light Brigade radio program appearance. 3. Quarterly workshop on Songwriting

grown and moved from the Teen Outreach Center to now meet at the Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh - Brookline. In January, Girls Write Pittsburgh will be adding a new weekly workshop at City of Asylum on the Northside.

“Writing is very therapeutic. Mental health is an important component and I wanted to build it in from the beginning,” Croft said. In researching the program she, “didn’t see any one else doing a program like this as a whole,” and is, “glad to be doing something more progressive focused on allowing true, authentic voices to come out unimpeded and unrelated to what the facilitators are doing.”

In addition to the weekly workshops, Croft and her team of volunteer facilitators make an effort to connect attendees with resources that can help them further develop as young writers. “We partner with local publishers to provide a way for young writers to read in public spaces. We welcome guest facilitators of specific genres to expose the writers to something that is maybe new and engaging. It’s all about growth, however that happens,” Croft said.

The first time I attended a workshop for Girls Write Pittsburgh it was the International Day of the Girl, and it couldn’t have been more fitting. Croft, the lead facilitator of the evening’s workshop and founder of the program, opens the session by asking if any of the girls have new writing to share. Poems are read and technical feedback provided while Amy, cofacilitator and mental health professional, provides feedback of a different nature, asking the girls how the experiences recounted in the poems made them feel and why.

“Last year [on this day] we stood at the blackboard and talked about what it felt like to be a woman—when we are allowed to stand in our own shoes and speak for ourselves. It’s really empowering,” Croft said. She adds that yesterday was Mental Health Awareness Day and one of the girls mentioned that it is also National Coming Out Day. The awareness of these subjects and symbolism of these national movements is not lost on the girls in attendance as they talk amongst themselves about how the events of their week at school so obviously play into these topics.

Reining the focus back in, Croft asks the girls to take to the blackboard that’s painted onto the wall and articulate how they changed since last year. Do they feel differently, or have they developed as writers, as well as individuals, after a year of introspective writing and reflection? Grabbing the chalk, their ideas flow onto the board:

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Sitting back and taking in the assertions now present in stark black and white on the chalkboard, attendee and young writer, Nora, remembers, “Being like Beyonce,” was one of the previous year’s responses. She laughed while reflecting on her own development, and her incorporation of concepts like feminism and mansplaining into her daily vocabulary. Croft follows up, “Maybe what we are actually talking about now is growing up.”

The first time that Nora came to a Girls Write Pittsburgh session, back when it was help at the Brookline Teen Outreach Center, she met her instructor, the creator of the program, her reaction was, “OMG—I see Vivian in her boots and dress and was like; ‘that’s my teacher, that’s the person that is going to change my life.’ And she did. She taught me so many things, so did Andrea, Sheena, and Amy.” HOLIDAY 2017

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Amy Marvel, a school psychologist by profession, began volunteering with Girls Write Pittsburgh four months ago.

“Being in touch with girls every day, they need an outlet, support, and a safe space to express themselves in this way. Girls Write Pittsburgh provides a space that is safe, nonjudgmental, and not predicated on grades,” said Marvel.

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Marvel assists as an extra level of support for the writers as well as the facilitators. “We aren’t doing structured therapy in these workshops. I think the writers find the writing, in itself, very therapeutic. I do, however, try to help the girls navigate and process some of their more complex feelings. We talk about appropriate emotional expression and coping skills a lot. My hope is that we’re not only building writing skills in these workshops but some socio-emotional skills as well. In my teen years, writing was so beneficial, though I felt so alone in my bedroom just writing and trying to process all of it. I had these feelings and wanted to find people like me, all the while being obsessed with my journal. I think it would have helped knowing there were adults out there who were willing to support me in that way,” Marvel said.

Girls Write Pittsburgh is made possible by the dedicated mental health professionals, like Marvel, volunteer facilitators, and the benefactors who donate the physical spaces to the organization. Through their generosity, Croft added, a space is created where, “Self-identified teen girls can come and be themselves, grow their voices, and utilize that voice of strength to be who they want to be in the world, while also developing tertiary skills like how to build relationships and gain access to resources.

“Over the one year pilot, we’ve reached more than 120 attendance markers and served young writers from a dozen Pittsburgh neighborhoods. It’s been great to see the growth in strength of these writers, the quality and the depth of their work, and the confidence they’ve gained. It’s really something beautiful to watch young writers come into their own. We open the door and they walk through. I try not to impose my personal beliefs and want to guide them as a strong mentor,” Croft said.

To attend a Girls Write Pittsburgh workshop, volunteer, donate, or keep up to date on Girls Write Pittsburgh news, check out their website and follow them on Facebook: www.girlswritepittsburgh.com www.facebook.com/girlswritepittsburgh On Thursday, November 29th, join Girls Write Pittsburgh to celebrate their first year at Threadbare Cider and Mead. Facebook event: www.facebook.com/events/1922330994753852/

It’ll Take More Than A MACK TRUCK To Stop FRANK FUNARO. A decade ago, en route to Texas to open a new restaurant, not even the 18-wheeler that rearended Frank and spread his car’s debris for over a mile slowed him down. Frank’s next move? He jumped out of his car, off of the bridge on which he was stuck into a swamp below. Frank spent a night in a hospital and with nothing more than the shirt on his back jumped on a bus the next day to finish his journey and get his shop opened on time.

The South Hills born entrepreneur and overall kitchen master, Frank is the brains behind Olive Oil’s Pizzeria in Bethel Park. The name Olive Oil’s is a nod to the Popeye’s Chicken franchise, whose original location was also used as the inaugural location for Frank’s first pizza parlor.

Since 1984 Frank has been running shops like this all over the country.

Frank’s drive to succeed in business is paralleled by his culinary styling behind the oven. Through his career he has learned the importance of fresh ingredients and quality cooking. House-made dough, freshly-baked bread… even his salad dressing is made on the spot. That means a lot to local patrons who have come to expect a level of quality from Olive Oil’s Pizzeria that isn’t always easy to find this side of New York City.

This season marks the Grand Opening of his new shop in Brookline on Brookline Blvd.

The sister store of his original Pennsylvania shop in Canonsburg is now pumping out pies like nobody’s business. Cheese steaks, salads, and calzones of the highest standard can be found at this establishment. Frank is there and waiting the next time you need your fix of Italian comfort food. Throwing a party?

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Ivette Spradlin: the woman behind the camera By: Roger Wilty

Ivette Spradlin wants to shine a light on the lesser-known aspects of culture. She’s photographed transient punk kids squatting in abandoned buildings in Atlanta, taught photography classes in the bombed-out Carrie Furnaces sight, and taken on avant-garde creative projects documenting subjects like Big Foot and the cringe-worthy trend of men texting pictures of their genitals.

Spradlin is utterly haunted by photography. “I love looking at images. I don’t think there could be a limit to how many photographs I could see in a day and not get sick of it. I love them. I look at Instagram all day long, I look at student’s work, I can look at old photographs, it doesn’t matter,” said Spradlin.

She’s both student and teacher. When she’s not educating at Carnegie Mellon University and Pittsburgh Filmmakers, she can often be found wrapped up in an artistic endeavor, most recently working in concert with other artists. “This year has been more about collaboration,” Spradlin said.

Through her series, Everything Changed, Spradlin has documented women in transitional periods. Black and white shots of these women capture them standing on the precipice of a major life change. In The Oval Portrait Project, presented women through darkened, shadowy, ornately-framed portraits, depicting the struggle to balance art with personal life.

She uses her art’s inherent beauty to capture the eye and transmit a statement about larger issues to invoke the audience’s thought processes. “People can understand beauty on any level and love it, so I think if it starts there, and you create a beautiful experience or space, or an interesting one at least, something that evokes an emotion, then at least there’s that connection. They [the audience] may not be able to explain why the like it but they can just like it. Art for art’s sake. I think that’s really successful as an artist,” Spradlin said.

STM recently met up with Spradlin in Bloomfield and asked her about the themes in her work, sexism in the art world, and what she’d like to see come out of Pittsburgh’s cultural scene.

STM: How do you choose your subject matter? Is it personal? Do you feel your art is a representation of yourself?

IS: I think I can’t escape myself, so there’s that level. And I think there are ideas that I don’t even realize that are connecting through all the work. I think that’s a really difficult thing for each artist to figure out personally because they’re so close to it. I think most people have a hard time working it out. That’s usually where it helps to have a really insightful curator who’s familiar with your work and they can articulate it in a better way, that’s positive. That’s the pressure as an artist. Not to just be good at your craft, but to also talk about it and write about it and all these other talents that may not be readily available to you when all you really want to do is just do the thing you love.

STM: What’s your advice for an artist trying to figure that out?

IS: Write. I hate writing. It’s just a huge struggle for me. I’m really proud of the things I write because I feel I work so hard on them. But, every time I do, I figure more out and I think it makes my work stronger. But I despise doing it. I feel like a child about it; I throw a tantrum in my head, but I just have to get it done. It’s good to focus, to put into words what we do, what drives us. Usually it’s very personal, and it’s like if you had to articulate every single thing you do in a relationship, it’s how you react to the whole world, it’s everything, and most people don’t have that level of self-reflection.

STM: Your recent work focuses on women and their experiences; the recreated dick pics using female models, the Oval Portrait Project, etc. What’s different about being a female artist?

IS: Most women, myself included, have been told that they can’t be an artist and have a family at the same time. You know, men don’t get told that. They’ll say things like, ‘If you become a mother it will kill your career,’ and nobody even questions men having kids because there’s an assumption they can pass off the work to a woman. Women have so much of that responsibility of child rearing in their mind. And it’s even been told to me not to have a partner if I want to be an artist, mainly by other older women who said, ‘They’ll take too much of your time, you’ll have to take care of them too much to do your own work.’ I think that’s fucked up and there’s moments when that feels true. I think it makes me really angry. It’s denying women a full life and it’s putting this pressure on them to be things that isn’t put on men. Even if there’s a reality to it, it still sucks.

It’s like having children. I can understand more because there’s a physical toll in that situation that has to happen, especially if you choose to breastfeed and stuff like that.

Maybe you wouldn’t make much work during that time unless you figured out a way you could combine it, but I think it’s just a cop out to excuse men from getting involved and supporting their partner. As a woman you’re always going to have to be supporting them instead of them supporting you and it’s just shitty.

Excerpts of Spradlin’s, “Oval Portrait Project” series.

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STM: After finishing a project that you’re impassioned with, does it feel like an invasion of privacy to put your work out for everyone to see?

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IS: I was telling someone that it took me awhile to realize, but I figured out that every time I have an opening and I know I’m going to go to it and I know I’m going to be in a room with people that will be looking at my work, I will pick a fight. I’m not a fighter, but I’ll pick fights out of nowhere, out of nothing. I think it was hard to walk in that room and feel like my emotions were up on display and were going to be judged. For better or for worse I was going to be judged, and there’s a level of fear stepping into that realm.

STM: Did you get over it?

IS: I think I’m getting over it. I think I’m still working on it.

STM: There’s obviously a big reward for you there, so you keep doing it, right?

IS: Right. I mean, I love making art, and when I do I get more and more open. I always made work about things that were connected to me, even from the very beginning. I always photographed my community or a community I was connected to and documented things that had something to do with me and my life. I think that when I was younger I was afraid to make work that was about my emotions. I was afraid it was going to be too feminine a thing to do, and people wouldn’t take me seriously if it was about something emotional. That took getting older and realizing, ‘Yeah, this is actually way more important, and has way more depth, and is gonna reach people in a way that I want.’

STM: How much time do you spend thinking about the final state of this art, e.g., where it will hang, and how much is spontaneous, ‘I have to create this. This is what I’m doing right now’?

IS: Even when I first started I thought about how the look of the image would speak to the subject matter. So, when I made a handmade book on these warehouses Excerpts of Spradlin’s, “Unseen” series.

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Excerpts of Spradlin’s, “Everything Changed, Then Changed Again” series.

where all these punk kids lived in Atlanta, I wanted it to look like punk flyers and the punk aesthetic that made sense with the subject matter. I try to make the message clear in the way it looks. More recently, when I did The Oval Portrait Project, I was going through something big in my life. I also did my show Everything Changed, when I was going through this transition, feeling alone, needing to connect with a new city. Then I started photographing women in these transitional spaces. There was this feeling I had during that time and I wanted to recreate that emotional response in my audience. With the oval portraits the aesthetics came first. That comes from

teaching photography and showing a lot of historical images to my class. I knew I wanted the oval frames, ornate frames.

My dad and stepmom own a frame shop in Miami so I think about frames a lot.

My mom’s Cuban and there’s a lot of gold and ornate frames, kind of Spanish, like Catholic churches. All of that stuff I find very beautiful. And I always loved those bubble glass frames with portraits in them.

STM: What do you think of the local landscape of Pittsburgh art?

IS: What I noticed when I first moved here about local stuff in The Carnegie

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Museum and other spaces around town is there are a lot of exhibitions where the subject matter is Pittsburgh related.

Pittsburgh likes to see Pittsburgh. There’s a lot of imagery that’s of Pittsburgh, like the stuff in the mayor’s office. There’s only a handful of things that aren’t Pittsburgh landscapes. Maybe that makes sense for a mayor’s office, and it is a very beautiful city, but I just think it’s less about ideas and more about the actual physical city.

I think connecting ideas to imagery is where we should branch out a bit more.”

STM: So, how do you present art to the Pittsburgh scene and hope to engage with them on broader subject matter?

IS: It’s good if the art is driven by its aesthetics; guided by its beauty and by its form. Guided by its materials’ relationship to the place it hangs. I don’t want it to lose the audience in terms of a person who feels uneducated about art. And I think that’s what happens a lot of the time.

People don’t feel they understand art and therefore they shouldn’t be interested.

But I think beauty sucks anybody in, you know? If you just have a message and you don’t have the beauty, then I think you lose a lot of people. But, if the beauty sucks someone in and you have a message beyond that, then I think that’s incredibly powerful.

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As part of our commitment to bring local journalism to the forefront of our reader’s attention, we’ve forged a partnership with, Word Association Publishers, in Tarentum. Our first selection in our series spotlighting local writers is an excerpt from Edward Banchs’ book Heavy Metal Africa.

Banchs traveled Africa and wrote a book documenting his journey across the continent watching metal bands perform. Part intro to African culture, part travel log, this book is a great read for music fans of any stripe.

I

have continually given thought throughout these trips to Africa as to what is behind the lack of traditional influence or cultural sounds in the continent’s rock and metal communities. Quite often, I return to the same conclusion: rebellion. Most of the bands in these countries – with the exception of Madagascar and South Africa, which are made up of acts from differing generations – are composed of young musicians who want nothing more than to redefine their identity through this music. But what it is about heavy metal and rock that lend them to an identity shift away from the local? This metal and rock identity follows an unwritten set of norms, like any other subculture. But, metal and rock have found subtle ways of becoming local in the various African countries, mostly through hints of language and themes. At the same time, though, this local metal community was still holding back. Was there still something in their way? Stephan shared that Madagascar, in his view, was ext remely conservative, and he was made to feel unwelcome in some places because of his proclivity to wear black T-shirts with heavy metal band logos, and facial piercings. But for Stephan, like so many others, this was how he felt comfortable.

“Metal is not welcome in Madagascar. Maybe because of the Malagasy culture? Malagasy culture is the opposite of metal culture; for people, metal [to others] is Satanic music,” explained Faniry. Tsilavina of the metalcore bands Set and My Funeral Song explained that “people’s religion, Christianity and Catholicism, changed the mind of the people and became [sic] narrow minded.” The problem, he said, are the religious leaders who have taken advantage of a nation whose population is not very international and the interweaving of politics to faith. According to Joss of Allkiniah, “Religion here is political; it helps them get money. If there is something wrong, they talk to the people. For example, ‘Look at the metal fans, they wear black.’ So many people trust them.” Tsilavina explained that he and his friends, who are all in bands, have a different approach that could perhaps assuage their situation. “We began to change the new vision of metal with white clothes and short hair. The new look!” he says laughing. Though, I did notice, with the exception of a few, the stereotypical “metal attire” was absent throughout Madagascar, mostly as a result of the cost of the metal T-shirts. Most of the T-shirts were homemade or bootlegged versions shipped in and sold on street markets. Misspelling of band names, inaccurate album covers and lyrics scrawled on the back that had nothing to do with the associated album on the front were common mistakes found on these shirts. But the Malagasy metal fans who were fortunate to own a few did not care. They loved those shirts as much as they love the music and those bands.

Perhaps it is this trepidation by the non-rock/metal commoner that has hampered the reputation of this music for many and, thus, the rejection of Malagasy culture in the music.

“The people here are so afraid when they see a guy or a girl in a black shirt. The religion has told them about what is good and bad, and that is why people think that rock is a bad thing. They will blame rock and roll,” explained Ndriana. “Because of the religion, people were afraid. They were scared of talking about reality,” stated Claude of the band Aowa. His bandmate Setra added, “This is a really Christian country. They are blinded by religion. It’s like the Middle Ages here. People are frightened that ‘you can’t do this’ because we go to hell.

It’s always,” he paused for a few seconds, resuming with a shift in thought. “Actually, it is a fear dictatorship here that continues to manage. The most intelligent here understand things and get out of the system, but people are really stubborn. ‘You play metal!’” he said, imitating the mocking tone. “And they associate it with Satanic ideology, or really bad things.”

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Stephan and I had a first-hand encounter with this perception at an Antananarivo corner store. Sharing a few drinks with the members of JonJoRomBona, we found ourselves surrounded by a few local youths who were taken aback by the way Stephan and I were dressed, but they had taken particular umbrage to my attire. My sweatshirt, (which many joke is part of my uniform) of the American band Darkest Hour, features a “demonic goat” across the back, which, in reality, is a caricature with exaggerated horns and “arms” spread wide open with a motionless grin across its facetious face. It became the target of their rage.

This same hooded sweatshirt got me booted from a store in an upscale shopping mall in a Nairobi, Kenya, because an employee had taken offense to the image on the back. Now,

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confronted by a few men – and separated from Stephan, the only person who could speak on my behalf – I was cornered and unsure of what was happening. This happened quickly!

I had just bought a few bottles of beer for the members of JonJoRomBona, clutched them in my fingers and turned around to the angry faces of these young men. With my back to the sales counter, the clerk went to fetch the owner. A few others were holding back Stephan, who was shouting across the room, “They think you are a Satanist!” The men, assuming I was French, were confronting me in French, accusing me of coming to Madagascar to spread Satanism. Our situation probably was not helped by the store’s radio playing the American thrash metal band Shadows Fall, which the clerk had agreed to play for us off of Stephan’s phone (likely because of the amount of money I was spending there).

Once they realized I was not French, they allowed Stephan to translate for me. I explained my reason for being there.

In the end, it was agreed that I would be left alone and that I could enjoy my trip to their country on the promise that I would not spread Satanism – a promise that I kept! But the instant, on-a-dime reaction to my attire supporting one of my favorite bands and the manner in which Stephan presents himself were strong indications that an intense “rock and metal music is evil” mentality permeated this country. Even within the Internet youth.

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“When people hear the distorted guitar, people think it is the devil’s music. They still think about the same thing they did about a thousand years ago. I just want them know this is not the bad music they are thinking about.” The words of Antananarivo musician Rado came clearly and without pause.

He spoke passionately while surrounded by his band, Heavy Hell Stomp. “I don’t think how I dress should be the topic for you to judge me. I think it is just matter of what I love to wear. I would like [people] to understand that this music has its good, too. They think we are on drugs. It has to take steps,” he confessed. “I hope, as we are all dreamers and great [optimists], I hope we are a part of this change. This is the music that allows performers to truly share their feelings and to commence a dialogue about the matters affecting them most.

Our lyrics [are] about changes, not revolution, not destroying anything, but changing things,” he added. The appeal of this music to some was directly because of the honesty it welcomes, as was explained when two of Stephan’s friends came to visit from Tamatave. “The lyrics of the band Kreator, I like their lyrics because they talk about misery, war, and chaos,” shared Stephan’s friend Hary, speaking of the German thrash metal band. “In my country, this misery is everywhere.” Poverty, politics and the pessimism of a future in peril allows many to feel at ease within this music’s expressive nature.

A few have used their lyrics to delve into exigent social issues of Malagasy life. Romeric, the quiet vocalist of the extreme metal band Nocturnal Mortum, explained that his music has helped him express his frustrations with a matter he holds close: the environment. “We talk about someone who robbed

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the tomb, because the politicians here export precious trees called ‘Pink Tree, ’” as the look on his face became one of frustration. As Romeric decried, seeing the trees leaving his home city of Fianarantsoa was like watching someone rob a tomb. “These kinds of trees are expensive, and that is why the politicians export them. Just like that! Because not many people know about them.” A fan, who was sitting at the table behind ours, glanced over (as if he were going to argue with Romeric) and intruded in a staunch manner. “Some people here do the traffic of the ‘Pink Tree.’ Some people give the money to the politicians from the tree [sic]. ” Nini of Kiaki also uses his platform to address environmental issues. “We talk about the Malagasy culture that cuts and burns trees.

Malagasy should not do these kinds of things.” When I asked why this was common, Nini said he was unsure, but “we have a habit to burn [sic] everything. You can’t see these animals without Madagascar,” he added, referring to the ubiquitous symbol of the country, the lemur.

Madagascar receives a lot of positive attention for its ecology, notably because of its unique biological diversity. Roughly 90 percent of the flora and fauna that exists in Madagascar are endemic. But on the drive to Fianarantsoa, I would spot smoke plumes in the distance and the horror of a black, charred earth staring back at me. As Stephan and I took in the scenery that Nini had described, I could not help but keep noticing pockets of black surrounded by the remnants of dead fauna. The process of slash and burn in Madagascar is known as tavy and occurs because of the level of poverty throughout the country.

Farmers convert forest, topical or not, into rice fields by burning everything down, which in turn releases nutrients into the soil that allow for a natural fertilization for the rice crop. The land is left fallow for a few years after harvest so the process can be repeated. However, most of the time dismal vegetation, or scrub grass, grows in its place. A typical forest can see signs of life 20 years after a good burn, yet that is not the case in Madagascar, as signs of tavy are everywhere in the countryside.

Deforestation in Madagascar is a crisis in its own right, but it also heavily threatens the furry and curious primates adored by so many around the world: lemurs. Their home is being destroyed. An effort by the Malagasy government to protect much of their native land was in full effect, but many still did not understand – Stephan included. It was during an off day that we were able to see lemurs first hand, even touch them, and learn just how valuable they are to the country, which is the lemur’s indigenous home. The animal was now a symbol of the desperation of a nation. Yet, many Malagasy are oblivious – unaware of what they were doing, or if they were, they did not care. Everything, as they saw it, was a food source, even the precious lemur. It was hard to blame them. The country is remarkably poor. Food, however you could get it, was necessary. Speaking with members of bands in Fianarantsoa (much closer to the lemur’s natural habitat), Stephan now saw how protective members of the rock and metal community were of their country.

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A New Perspective By: Miles McCoy

of Pittsburgh

B

efore now I had never lived outside of the country.

To be honest, I’d never lived outside of Pittsburgh.

If you had asked me a year ago what makes Pittsburgh my home, I probably would have talked about some famous people from the city, dropped some historical facts about a few of the neighborhoods, or mentioned a favorite restaurant or two. But they say that with time comes perspective, and my present self wants to tell my past self that he’s a pretentious idiot.

Don’t misunderstand, I’ll still go to vegan brunch with the rest of Butler Street’s inhabitants, but I must have been crazy to have thought that a sandwich and some pancakes were what made Pittsburgh my home.

If you had asked my past self, “Well, what does make Pittsburgh your home?”, I might have guessed at a few ideas, but nothing would have stuck. After all, I didn’t know anything else; I wouldn’t have been able to articulate an answer for you back then. It was only after I picked up my life and moved overseas that things started to become clearer.

Moving to Japan is like landing on an alien planet, or at least it’s what I imagine landing on an alien planet would feel like. It’s not just walking on the opposite side of the road or people speaking a different language. Even a smaller city, like Nagoya, seems to go on forever, and after you reach the border, the city starts to stack. You ride an elevator through different dimensions from a laundromat on the first floor to a ramen shop on the second, restaurants on the third, cat Cafe on the fourth, and a nightclub taking up the next three. You spend the first few weeks or so in sheer awe, taking in the immense scale of it, knowing people live here their entire lives without seeing it all. Eventually, however, you begin to understand just how little you know about where you are (even after hours of those videos online); you don’t understand the signs, the rules or the people who enforce them. Is the stuff on the top of the sushi in the convenience store meat or fish? How can I tell this station master that I’m not trying to sneak off of the train, I just lost my ticket? I’m supposed to wear which slippers where? Hold on: what do they mean by non-combustible trash?

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Suddenly plunged into an environment where it could be just as frustrating to go it alone as it was to ask for help, I got homesick. A lot. But I didn’t miss going to Primanti’s or riding the incline. I missed being able to tell whether or not the bags I was holding at the grocer’s were sugar or salt. I missed looking at a menu at a bar and knowing exactly what I was ordering.

I missed not getting lost. And the more I longed for that, the more I wanted to go back to the place that just made sense.

But a commitment had been made. I had signed the dotted line, and I was going to see things through. I put my head down, gritted my teeth, and muscled on. I studied the language. I watched the morning news and evening comedy specials without understanding a single word. I practiced writing, listened to the dialogue around me, visited the city until I found a sense of direction. And things began to simplify for me faster than I thought they would. I began to understand jabbering elementary schoolers. Train maps unjumbled. I learned to ask where things were and how much they cost, and the answers began to make sense. I began to grow, and along the way I managed to meet some new people and have some interesting experiences. It felt fantastic when things began to fit. And as the days got longer and hotter, home began to feel farther and farther away.

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Around the end of August, a couple of friends messaged me with some news: they had managed to find some tickets on sale, and were hopping across the Pacific to see me. I was pretty nervous, not just because I hadn’t hosted many guests (I bought some extra plates and bowls for them to use, just in case; they never used them), but mostly because I thought they would be bored. By getting the run of the place, somewhere along the line Japan had lost most of its luster. I drew up an itinerary, made a list of places they might find interesting, tourist spots and photo ops. I asked friends and coworkers about attractions off the beaten path, lesser known and more likely to drop jaws.

The day finally arrived with me still biting my nails. Through the turnstile they came, backpacks in tow. Imagine my surprise at the faces they made riding the train to my apartment, gawking at the cityscape stretching into the distance, the quiet streets of the sleepy town where I lived and the local temple where they rang the bell every sunrise and sunset. I was glad. Their happiness brought my old frame of reference back into focus, one that I had almost forgotten I’d ever had. I felt like an old man when I remembered it hadn’t always been mundane, that this had all been new for me, too, not so long ago. But what exactly had I left behind?

Looking back now, I can’t quite remember when it happened.

Maybe it was during their first night in the city when we got our celebratory bowls of ramen and tall glasses of beer.

Maybe it was during one of the many plates of okonomiyaki,

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or during the typhoon, when we spent the day eating curry rice and watching old movies. Or maybe it was during all of the above. I’m not completely sure. What I do know is that these moments were filled with talk, and in at least a few of these moments the talk shifted to Pittsburgh. They told me about new restaurants that just opened, construction that was finished (but still seemed never-ending), bars that were our old haunts, and the well-wishes from friends. And after a while, I realized just how little I now thought about that place, those days. At some point along the line I had packed up all the thoughts I used to cling to of my past. I realized that, after so much time away, Pittsburgh had stopped being just Pittsburgh for me. Without me even realizing, time away had terraformed it into so much more. It had become a box, and I had packed it full to bursting with all of the stuff home was and is, in me.

Pittsburgh wasn’t just the city I was born anymore. It had become an atmosphere, almost ethereal. Suddenly I was recalling things in so many abstracted ways: the soft glow of neon on Murray Ave. in the rain, the strobes and warped wood at one of my favorite bars, the street lights zooming past my windshield on I-376 (only a pleasure to travel on at twilight, when the roads are clear), old bar stools so worn that you just might be tipsy enough to fall asleep on them. I smelled baskets of tater tots and tasted dollar tacos. The box held the wide streets from my grandparents’ neighborhood in the suburbs, my mom’s homemade spaghetti and my dad’s secret rib recipe. I dug around and found my sister hogging the TV to find out who was not the father. I found my granddad reading the newspaper in the kitchen, and my grandma taking a nap on their patio. My friends only came for 10 days, but even halfway around the world, just their presence made me feel like I was home.

Before I knew it, I was standing with my buddies at the turnstiles again. We had made one last toast the night before, and the next morning, souvenirs in hand, we made our way to the train station. The ride in was quiet. After firm hugs and pats on the shoulder, I watched them walk down the hall and around the corner towards the bullet train. I looked for them in the distance for longer than I’d care to admit. I looked until I realized that I felt like I had when I boarded my plane to Japan 10 months earlier.

I walked back to my apartment alone, Pittsburgh playing between my ears like an old song stuck in my head. Back at my apartment, it looked like a storm had come through. I spent the morning cleaning, and as the sun began to set, I laid back on the futon and listened to the silence. It hurt, but it wasn’t all bad: for the first time in a long time as I slept, I dreamt of Home.

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